Not perfect, but not bad July 12, 2011 7:28 AM   Subscribe

Why was the gen-x marriage thread closed? Maybe the OP didn't post perfectly and wanted to change something, but it was still a good discussion and the original post wasn't terrible.
posted by melissam to MetaFilter-Related at 7:28 AM (93 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

Since multiple people said the article was terrible in the thread, I'm guessing it was getting flagged to hell.
posted by zarq at 7:30 AM on July 12, 2011


If you're apologizing for how you made the post in your post, it's really starting things off on a weird/bad foot. When I saw the thread when I got up it was getting a lot of flags and people were making a bunch of dopey jokes in the thread. People seemed to think the article was terrible and combined with the odd framing it was one of those "try again" situations.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:32 AM on July 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


i must apologize, my friends, for how i made the post...
i was distracted when i spilled my tea, and burnt my toast.
then came unpleasant phone calls from my ex-wife on the coast,
that's why, you see, i made a very less-than-perfect post.

perhaps i'll try again, perhaps tomorrow,
i'll frame it with some clever line i'll borrow.
i'll make a post that everyone will like!
ah, fuck it, i'll just go and ride my bike.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:52 AM on July 12, 2011 [31 favorites]


I'll see that and raise you:

I have made
a post
that was wanting
in framing

and which
you were probably
going
to snark in.

Forgive me
it is morning
and I
need some coffee.
posted by griphus at 7:56 AM on July 12, 2011 [13 favorites]


There once was a post on Metafilter
About coupledom going off kilter
The post was found lacking
The mods went a whacking
Oops I forgot limericks are only interesting when they are about over-sized genitals
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:09 AM on July 12, 2011 [23 favorites]


Poor posting is made
See! A flock of snark descends
MetaTalk ensues
posted by edgeways at 8:15 AM on July 12, 2011 [10 favorites]


Found something that isn't terrible on the web, and want to share it with everyone else? Great!
posted by Wolfdog at 8:16 AM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hmm. I took the apology to be for the title, for what it's worth. But yeah, it was getting a lot of "this article isn't so great" comments, so it may have failed on its own merits rather than "framing."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:29 AM on July 12, 2011


so much depends
upon
a long flag
queue

Made by angry
members

of the community
website
posted by The Whelk at 8:39 AM on July 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


That article was a piece of shit.
posted by dfriedman at 8:40 AM on July 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Metafilter's Site is melting in the blue
All the sweet, white text is flowing down...
Someone left the text out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to make it
And I'll never have that po-ost again
Oh, no!
posted by drezdn at 8:42 AM on July 12, 2011


was it really any worse than the Erica Jong article?
posted by melissam at 8:48 AM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Apparently not enough people thought the Jong article was terrible enough to flag the crap out of.

That said, this is a spectacularly stupid, dumb, self-centered, and dumb article:

Growing up, my brother and I were often left to our own devices, members of the giant flock of migrant latchkey kids in the 1970s and '80s. Our suburb was littered with sad-eyed, bruised nomads, who wandered back and forth between used-record shops to the sheds behind the train station where they got high and then trudged off, back and forth from their mothers' houses during the week to their fathers' apartments every other weekend.

Sad-eyed? Spare me. Had to go to used record shops? THE HORROR. Got high after school? Nobody ever did that in the happy 60s when everyone's parents stayed married!
posted by rtha at 9:02 AM on July 12, 2011 [11 favorites]


the war orphan thing is what really got to me.
posted by sweetkid at 9:06 AM on July 12, 2011


That too, yeah.
posted by rtha at 9:10 AM on July 12, 2011


The post was thin and oddly presented and that article was all over the place.

Sad-eyed? Spare me. Had to go to used record shops? THE HORROR. Got high after school? Nobody ever did that in the happy 60s when everyone's parents stayed married!

My thoughts exactly rtha.
posted by futureisunwritten at 9:16 AM on July 12, 2011


was it really any worse than the Erica Jong article?

MetaFilter is not a race to the bottom.
posted by auto-correct at 9:20 AM on July 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


Unless the post is about the Boston Buttathon, at least.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:25 AM on July 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


damnit cortex you made me google that
posted by The Whelk at 9:28 AM on July 12, 2011 [5 favorites]


Where the article really lost me--more than the generalization-from-my-experience, which is common for personal essays and memoirs, and which didn't outrage me--was the incoherence about her marriage. On the one hand, it was in such bad shape that she had passive-aggressively not washed a dish in year and her husband hadn't managed to read her book; on the other hand, her husband is a great guy and it's a complete mystery to her how two such great people could end up divorced. There's this big gap of thinking around the question of whether there might actually be some accountability, or things they could have done differently. Like the divorce just happened to them.

And then, it turns out that divorce isn't that bad because they're doing it totally differently than their parents! They couldn't do marriage differently, but they're going to handle the divorce so differently that it won't have any of the horrible effects their own parents' divorces had.
posted by not that girl at 9:29 AM on July 12, 2011 [7 favorites]


me too. I was hoping there really was one :(
posted by small_ruminant at 9:29 AM on July 12, 2011


boston buttathon that is
posted by small_ruminant at 9:30 AM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


me too. I was hoping there really was one :(

Be the change that you want to see in the world.
posted by Infinite Jest at 9:36 AM on July 12, 2011 [6 favorites]


BIG BAD BOUNCY BUTTATHON
posted by The Whelk at 9:42 AM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter is not a race to the bottom.

I'm sorry, what? I guess I want my five dollars back and I'll be taking post about the new Tia Tequila/Paris Hilton split EP to Fark.
posted by griphus at 9:44 AM on July 12, 2011


Like the divorce just happened to them.

It was forced on them by gays getting married. At least, I hope so. I keep getting told I have this power, but I have yet to see the evidence. Maybe this is it?
posted by rtha at 9:46 AM on July 12, 2011 [7 favorites]


Does the boston Buttathon a race to a butt or a race about butts?

Maybe they just run to Lowell.
posted by The Whelk at 9:47 AM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm so glad that MetaFilter has its own chronicling lyricist. Flapjax, you're a national treasure. Maybe someday you can set the whole site to epic poem, ala Paradise Lost. Though truth be told, I liked The Odyssey better, myself. Milton's a bit thick.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:59 AM on July 12, 2011


I don't think we ever need to add fuel to the "boomer/gen-x generation is bad" fighty mcfightfight. Good that the post is gone, and even better if it doesn't come back.
posted by crunchland at 10:11 AM on July 12, 2011


But was it bitten before it died?! We'll find out in 3 days!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:35 AM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]



I don't think we ever need to add fuel to the "boomer/gen-x generation is bad" fighty mcfightfight.


I had no idea this was even a thing on Metafilter. Did it just become one?
posted by sweetkid at 10:58 AM on July 12, 2011


I had no idea this was even a thing on Metafilter.

I didn't know Gen-X went all the way up until 1980.

I guess I'd better finally read those Douglas Coupland novels!
posted by Hoopo at 11:09 AM on July 12, 2011


Isn't there a "Waaaaaah-mbulance" we could call for the writer?
posted by Lynsey at 11:15 AM on July 12, 2011


I didn't know Gen-X went all the way up until 1980.

I guess I'd better finally read those Douglas Coupland novels!


I didn't either. At any rate, the whole categorization strikes me as stupid. Douglas Coupland used the term in a specific context in the book. I was born in 1978 and my brother was born in 1982, how can we be different generations? Bleh.
posted by sweetkid at 11:15 AM on July 12, 2011


Gen-X goes all the way up to 1980, the same year the General Motors front-wheel-drive X-platform cars (Citation et al) came out.

coincidence?
posted by davejay at 11:59 AM on July 12, 2011


Oh, signups for the Boston Half Marathon are tomorrow! I wanted to run last year, but missed registration. Thanks for reminding me, cortex!

I did not qualify for the Buttathon.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:02 PM on July 12, 2011


cortex: "Unless the post is about the Boston Buttathon, at least."

The locals just call it the Badunkahdunkahthahn.
posted by zarq at 12:10 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Wrath Of Badunkahdunkhan.
posted by The Whelk at 12:12 PM on July 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


The Path of Buddhathon.
posted by P.o.B. at 12:16 PM on July 12, 2011


The Whelk: "The Wrath Of Badunkahdunkhan."

From Hell's Ass, I Spit At Thee......


Perhaps not the best line to (mis)quote....
posted by zarq at 12:18 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


This topic made me wish we could favorite deletion reasons. It's my favorite kind of competitive wittiness here.
posted by msalt at 12:29 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Unless the post is about the Boston Buttathon, at least.

I'm the Rosie Ruiz of that shit.
posted by yerfatma at 12:32 PM on July 12, 2011


There's definitely a vacuum left from the absence of the deletedthread blog. Maybe someone else should start one up.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:32 PM on July 12, 2011


I'm on it!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:35 PM on July 12, 2011


Now I'm off it.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:36 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


just dance till you feel better
posted by The Whelk at 12:37 PM on July 12, 2011


I sent a memail to Dead Cousin Ted asking him if he wanted assistance a few weeks back. Didn't hear back.

Didn't think setting up a second blog was a good idea. Breaks continuity and all that.
posted by zarq at 12:38 PM on July 12, 2011


I don't see how setting up a second blog would break continuity. If someone wants to do, I say go for it.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:41 PM on July 12, 2011


Brandon Blatcher: "I don't see how setting up a second blog would break continuity. If someone wants to do, I say go for it."

Okay.

I've created a couple of commercial Wordpress sites so I just set one up over on their domain. I assume working on wordpress.com isn't much different than working on your own privately hosted domain.

http://mefideletedthreads.wordpress.com/

I'm more than happy to do this solo. However, if anyone would like to pitch in and be added to the contributors list, send me a memail.
posted by zarq at 12:45 PM on July 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


That's good -- you may want to fill it up with back content between March and now while you're waiting for us to delete more stuff. Also I know that there were issues on the other blog with people commenting weird nasty things occasionally when spammers would get things deleted. Might want to sort of consider that if comments are going to be functional.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:48 PM on July 12, 2011


jessamyn: "That's good -- you may want to fill it up with back content between March and now while you're waiting for us to delete more stuff. Also I know that there were issues on the other blog with people commenting weird nasty things occasionally when spammers would get things deleted. Might want to sort of consider that if comments are going to be functional."

Will do. Greasemonkey makes finding them easy. :)

And yes, I'm definitely going to shut off comments, thank you for mentioning it. It's totally not worth the hassle.

I have to slap a different template on there. Will do that within the next few days, once I find one I prefer.
posted by zarq at 12:53 PM on July 12, 2011


Metafilter: waiting for us to delete more stuff.
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:05 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


OK, I've added some categories (Deleted by: [mod's name]) and a tag cloud. (Will keep the tags diplomatic, I promise. As we get more blog entries, that will flesh out a bit. Also put a nicer temporary theme on.
posted by zarq at 1:15 PM on July 12, 2011


The Infodump has all the deleted threads, ever, with reasons and attributions. If you want to bootstrap this thing right, that's by far the fastest and sanest way to go.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:22 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ha! Awesome. I'll bookmark those and delete my work! :D
posted by zarq at 1:25 PM on July 12, 2011


Thanks, lalex!
posted by zarq at 1:33 PM on July 12, 2011


Oh hey that's really great, maybe we can toss this up somewhere where people will notice it. Maybe he can change the name from "testing something" to something more findable.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:33 PM on July 12, 2011


Boston Buttathon + their famous baked beans = adult fun times for all!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:56 PM on July 12, 2011


"That's good -- you may want to fill it up with back content between March and now while you're waiting for us to delete more stuff. Also I know that there were issues on the other blog with people commenting weird nasty things occasionally when spammers would get things deleted. Might want to sort of consider that if comments are going to be functional."

Nah, just delete a bunch of posts at random from the two months or so — most of it, people won't even notice, the rest of it can be fodder for the new blog!
posted by klangklangston at 2:05 PM on July 12, 2011


The Whelk: Doling out the wrath Of badunkahdunkhan
posted by TheBones at 2:10 PM on July 12, 2011


Hey, since it's in Boston, why not have it catered by badunkahDunkhan Donuts?
posted by herbplarfegan at 3:51 PM on July 12, 2011


Yeah, his comment announcing it was buried deep in a thread...

What happened to us?! We use to talk, laugh, share things. Now it all gets lost in the comments. HOW CAN WE FIX US?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:53 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh hey that's really great, maybe we can toss this up somewhere where people will notice it. Maybe he can change the name from "testing something" to something more findable.

Go for it. It was so-named because I was hoping to point it at p&c's more established blog, but I never heard back from him. Then I forgot it was even running. It's automated using the GData Python API and a front-page scrape every 15 minutes looking for missing post ids, similar to the GreaseMonkey script. Anyhow, I went ahead and renamed them (note: the URL changed for the first one):

http://mefideleted.blogspot.com/ (MetaFilter Deleted Posts)

http://askmedeleted.blogspot.com/ (AskMetaFilter Deleted Posts)

If I get bored I might seed it with the infodump, but I dunno how valuable that is. I imagine people use this for the RSS, mostly, no?
posted by cj_ at 3:53 PM on July 12, 2011 [18 favorites]


That's good -- you may want to fill it up with back content between March and now while you're waiting for us to delete more stuff.

I'll make some shitty posts if you need material for the new deleted post blog. I'm thinking this is something a lot of us can step up and help with.
posted by marxchivist at 4:06 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]




Beauteous Boston,
No city finer been cut.
Where the Cabots speak only the Abbots
and the Abbots speak only of butts.
posted by The Whelk at 4:32 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Just as a random tangent from all the poetry, why was this anonymous?
posted by klangklangston at 4:39 PM on July 12, 2011


Yesterday, I enjoyed raw oysters for the first time. I say 'enjoyed' since I had tried them before and didn't like them, but last night they were great and I ate half a dozen (I was at an all you can eat sushi & seafood buffet in K-town). I thought alcohol might have been a factor, but I was drinking the time I didn't like them, too, Anyway, they were damn tasty.
posted by jonmc at 4:57 PM on July 12, 2011


Aren't you only supposed to eat oysters in months that end with the letter R?
posted by Chichibio at 5:09 PM on July 12, 2011


I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel...
posted by jonmc at 5:12 PM on July 12, 2011


no, only in months that do not have an "r".
posted by batmonkey at 5:13 PM on July 12, 2011


Oh man I should make some spicy fried oysters soon
posted by The Whelk at 5:14 PM on July 12, 2011


Just as a random tangent from all the poetry, why was this anonymous?

Have you seen the pet threads here?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:14 PM on July 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


I have a pet thread, it bites a lot and tends to vomit where it pleases.
posted by The Whelk at 5:17 PM on July 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Luckily, there's a website out there that can answer oyster-related questions! Me, I'm happy to wait until September.
posted by Chichibio at 5:18 PM on July 12, 2011


Well, I ate them and I'm still alive, so what more evidence do you need?
posted by jonmc at 5:19 PM on July 12, 2011


ikkyu2 put it better than I could. But hey, if yours were delicious, mazel tov! I hope you continue eating them: oysters are one of Nature's most delectable gifts.
posted by Chichibio at 5:34 PM on July 12, 2011


ikkyu's good people (and was a guest at my wedding), but what the hell, I figure
posted by jonmc at 5:36 PM on July 12, 2011


There should be a word for that kind of Metafilter coincidence. Paging languagehat...

I tried raw horse sashimi two summers ago in Tokyo, which was as memorably amazing as the best oysters I've had. "What the hell" was exactly what went through my mind as well!
posted by Chichibio at 6:10 PM on July 12, 2011


I didn't know Gen-X went all the way up until 1980.

I guess I'd better finally read those Douglas Coupland novels!


Coupland is an amusing writer who has a very specific voice which I like but many others find annoying.

If you're really interested in the whole Gen X thing in a way which isn't author-snark, the things to read are Generations by Strauss & Howe, which is their less pop presentation of their thoughts, and also 13th Gen: Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail which is a more trendy layout of their theory focussing specifically on what Coupland called Generation X.

For the tl;dr version of their work, you can look at the Wikipedia page about their work.
posted by hippybear at 6:13 PM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Coupland is an amusing writer who has a very specific voice which I like but many others find annoying.

He was great for awhile but he lost me around All Families are Psychotic. I met him at a signing once, he was a nice guy and signed my autograph jacket.
posted by jonmc at 6:17 PM on July 12, 2011


My problem with All Families Are Psychotic is that I don't tend to read humor very well off the page unless it's really oddball or non-sequitor or pun driven. I get the impression that particular novel is pretty funny, but for me it was mostly annoying people doing incomprehensible things. Maybe it would make a better movie or something.

I've read just about all his stuff, and like most of it. And I think his Postcards From Canada and Canada House project are fascinating, mostly because I'm not Canadian so it's like some kind of strange Looking-Glass world to look at.
posted by hippybear at 6:21 PM on July 12, 2011


I like Coupland, but 'Life After God' was so despairing I could barely read it. I'm not Gen X, but he seems to capture part of my mindset too well.

I'm pretty sick of 'this is why this generation sucks' trend pieces.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:21 PM on July 12, 2011


Wow, seriously? I love Life After God. It's like a tiny devotional book kind of like what I used to get in from my church on a regular basis, only the individual page-long thoughts link together into longer stories. I've never found despair in that book. Just existential thoughts.

I suppose there is a bit of a trope about existentialism = despair, but never for me. It's the recognition of the limited nature of life which allows one to dive into experiencing it most deeply. Because once it's passed, that's it. So you might as well drink deeply while you're here.

Now I need to find my copy of that again. It's been many years since I picked it up, and it might be a good thing to have at hand.
posted by hippybear at 7:29 PM on July 12, 2011


Butt elephant
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:46 PM on July 12, 2011


FYI, I got bored and backfilled the deleted post blogs using the infodump.
posted by cj_ at 12:45 AM on July 13, 2011 [5 favorites]


Boredom gets another feather in its hat!
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:29 AM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


GenX stuff

Brag or shame? I actually have an essay "Whatever" in the GenX Reader. Why? Because Doug Rushkoff was on the WELL (an early, MeFi-like BBS) at the time and posted an open call for items in a topic very much like this one.
posted by msalt at 10:27 AM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have a pet thread, it bites a lot and tends to vomit where it pleases.

Strangely enough, it vomits up cats.

And seconding raw horse. Unbelievably good. I wish I'd passed on the raw deer, though.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:06 PM on July 13, 2011


GenX stuff

Brag or shame? I actually have an essay "Whatever" in the GenX Reader. Why? Because Doug Rushkoff was on the WELL (an early, MeFi-like BBS) at the time and posted an open call for items in a topic very much like this one.


Awesome! I love the Gen X reader.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:39 PM on July 13, 2011


Thanks! The weird thing is, I may have had some small role in popularizing the word "Whatever!"
posted by msalt at 11:07 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Douglas Coupland used the term in a specific context in the book. I was born in 1978 and my brother was born in 1982, how can we be different generations? Bleh.

My sister was born in 1970, me in 1982. We're definitely different generations - different toys, films, TV shows, food - but that;'s a big age gap.

JPod made me really sad. Pages of random numbers? Really, Dougie?
posted by mippy at 7:44 AM on July 14, 2011


By the way, I'm not married to the design -- I just swiped it from the other one for testing. If someone wants to offer some different colors, ideas in general, or even a complete blogger template.xml I can drop in, that'd be just swell. Otherwise I'll probably change it to a default template. I'm not much of a designer, but the pastels are a little jarring to my eye..
posted by cj_ at 11:00 PM on July 14, 2011


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