I'm with Leah Remini on this one.

May 22, 2012 9:23 PM

Do I have the most inane first comment ever?

Amid the general bummer of the holdkris99 thread I got a little smile from this comment from sweetkid:

most people take a bit of time to adjust to a new website

That made me go into my posting history. This was my second AskMe comment, six years ago:

on an aside, IANAL means "I am not a lawyer"? heavens, I hope so.

ha.

I checked my posting history and found that I had introduced myself with:

I'm with Leah Remini on this one.

Does anyone else have a first comment that's more pointless than that?

posted by benito.strauss to MetaFilter-Related at 9:23 PM (98 comments total)

My first comment had a response from quonsar that I've remembered fondly for many years.
posted by cgc373 at 9:37 PM on May 22, 2012

My first comment was an immediately-rescinded accusation of a cartoonist.
posted by griphus at 9:39 PM on May 22, 2012

granted and I are twins, which is why she thinks she's allowed to be mean to me
posted to Ask Metafilter by changeling at 10:31 AM on August 23, 2006 [+]

aww. sometimes she's still mean to me but I love her anyway.
posted by changeling at 9:42 PM on May 22, 2012

My first comments (I went twice in a row, very eager) were rated by stavrosthewonderchicken as an "American Culture for Kindergarteners lesson."
posted by furiousxgeorge at 9:48 PM on May 22, 2012

My first comment seems somewhat prophetic: "Buy war bonds and use prophylaxis!"

Maybe not the war bonds, so much, but prophylaxis is always a good idea.
posted by cmyk at 9:54 PM on May 22, 2012

My first comment was stupid, and I misspelled 'Labor'. I'm still a big lurky-lurker though.
posted by h00py at 9:57 PM on May 22, 2012

My first is a hesitant show of support for vandals. Not the criminal kind, mind you.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:05 PM on May 22, 2012

For a first comment I dumped on an 11 year old kid so, yeah, I'm proud of that.

My third comment was poop. You can sense the momentum of my posting history from these data points.
posted by mazola at 10:28 PM on May 22, 2012 [3 favorites]

My first comment was about how cool I thought dinosaurs were.

Then I got called out for incorrectly calling a plesiosaur a dinosaur. One of many instances of me being wrong on the internet.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:55 PM on May 22, 2012

My first comment had a minor problem, in that it implied that my wife and I had already built a house, instead of deciding that's what we were going to do. (A decision which never came to pass.) I am a lying liar who lies.
posted by maxwelton at 10:56 PM on May 22, 2012

My first three comments were obituary dots.
I am sort of shy in the inrernet.
posted by St. Sorryass at 10:56 PM on May 22, 2012

I am amused at my first comment on the blue.

Didn't the kid riding Mission: Space and this kid on Rockin' Roller Coaster both allegedly have congenital heart defects? Going to Disney World is Darwinism - the new way to screen out kids with heart defects. If your kid survives roller coasters and thrill rides at Disney, he/she doesn't have a heart defect.

posted by IndigoRain at 11:08 PM on May 22, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first comments (I went twice in a row, very eager) were rated by stavrosthewonderchicken as an "American Culture for Kindergarteners lesson."

Wow, I totally don't remember that. I certainly was... less diplomatic back then. Sorry, man.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:26 PM on May 22, 2012 [2 favorites]

My first comment seems to have been a vague endorsement of anti-labor values. As usual I can't actually tell what I was thinking from what I wrote. Yay me!
posted by zennie at 11:30 PM on May 22, 2012

Mine was in MeTa, contributing to one of Miguel's gabfests. I was lamenting that MeFi took up so much time when I was supposed to be working. The more things change ...
posted by dg at 11:38 PM on May 22, 2012

Mine was an FTFY, and I didn't even know what an FTFY was at that point.
posted by not_on_display at 11:53 PM on May 22, 2012

Seeking my first comment led to a rapid series of thoughts - "Inane" said the first one,

Isn't the United States of America a secular nation? Or am I mistaken?

followed by instant beanplanting Mefitedom with,

re: RTFA ~thedevildancedlightly

Yes, I know, I was perhaps a bit too brief and tongue in cheek there - but contextually over the past few weeks, religion has been brought up in the case of a) a justified case of allowing a body to die when there was no brain alive b) the move by the state govt in FL that would allow students to sue professors who would not "allow" the belief in creationism as valid in class (paraphrasing here) and let's not forget ohio and the gay marriage ban fiasco.

Having lived in an islamic country and *seen* the impact of Shayriat (Koranic Law) being applied to the muslim population, one believes one is now living in a nation built on rational principles no? viz., Declaration of the Rights of Man.

Watching it slide into what perceptually feels like religious extremism is unnerving.

and rapidly, the utter humiliation of using an :P like an idiot. I think I used to live in SF and there may have been a pipe involved...

but going back there showed me amberglow and the missing reawakens...
posted by infini at 12:06 AM on May 23, 2012

"Yup. This country's rubbish. Any suggestions for a new one to move to?"

That was my first comment on the blue, which clearly should have been posted to AskMetafilter.
posted by MattMangels at 12:07 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

My first comment was to suggest earbuds as a special Valentine's Day gift.

Note to cp311's boyfriend: I owe you one, mister. Please tell me it's not too late to make it right.
posted by argonauta at 1:10 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was twelve years and four months ago. Feel old yet everyone?
posted by Neale at 2:00 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Mine, sadly fitting for my humdrum life, was a housekeeping tip.

"Borax, sprinkled generously on the mattress, will both absorb the pee (if it hasn't soaked through too far) and remove the odor."

I stand by my comment.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 3:51 AM on May 23, 2012 [6 favorites]

Oh surprise surprise mine was something about food....

"Australian bananas are getting almost expensive as Japanese melons."

That should probably say "as Japanese melons sold in exclusive, ridiculously expensive department stores". Saw some pretty decent melons down the road (in Kanagawa) for about 900 yen today.

Maybe people are buying bananas because they really like 'em? Also should they just abandon the banana growers who have suffered from a natural disaster by letting the only bananas they have to offer go to waste instead of paying a few extra bucks for them?

How prophetic that I now live smack in the middle of banana land and arrived right after Cyclone Yasi had wiped out 80% of the crop.
posted by gomichild at 4:04 AM on May 23, 2012

I signed up for the specific purpose of offering a restaurant recommendation that I would make again today if someone asked a similar question. Totally borked the link though, so had to post again to correct it. So what if I'm a dork??
posted by ersatzkat at 4:15 AM on May 23, 2012

Mine ended with the prescient "no one reads weblogs for their looks" it was alsmost a self link and it was over twelve years ago.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:16 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

Oh god. Mine was a ramble about UTIs and bacterial infections in a thread about a tilted uterus. Hi, new internet friends!
posted by iamkimiam at 4:17 AM on May 23, 2012 [4 favorites]

In my memory, my first comment was an axe-grindy derail that should have been deleted, but I guess that actually happened about five comments in. In reality I spent my first comment attacking Freud for being unscientific.
posted by Jpfed at 4:24 AM on May 23, 2012

I'd like to think that my first comment was something insightful and sardonic. I'd really like to think that. But it wasn't, and even better, someone else's unclosed bold tag meant that it was part of a little cluster of comments that were bolded against our will.

oops. unclosed bold tag somewhere. damn, metafilter needs a PREVIEW function for idiots like me.
posted by Zeldman at 1:40 PM on April 21, 2000 [+] [!] No other comments.

Luckily, it -- umm, finished up OK. And we have a PREVIEW function now, too. Thanks, unsung hero of the accidentally munged tags!

(I'm thinking that "error" was actually part of a careful, long-range strategy by Mr. Z to improve the quality of the HTML on MetaFilter. The content? Well, that's our responsibility.)
posted by maudlin at 4:28 AM on May 23, 2012

What I thought was beautiful design back then does not strike me as particularly beautiful design today.
posted by mediareport at 4:34 AM on May 23, 2012

(But damn, kudos to the LOC for the link still being active.)
posted by mediareport at 4:36 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was on November 18 ought 4 when there was a metatalk thread about how people on Monkeyfilter felt about MetaFilter after Matt opened signups here. I thought it was silly because we created MonkeyFilter as a place to hang out since we couldn't hangout at Mefi. I loved me some MoFi and still do actually, but I'm not surprised that it has dwindled to a mere shadow of its former self.
posted by Kimberly at 4:55 AM on May 23, 2012

Oh, the shame of no capitalization, rare punctuation {and using curly brackets for all parenthetical notation}, moreso for the fact it's in a thread about being a good student. That was just over 11 years ago, and if I'd done the same first few comments and then made the post that I'd made then today, I'd probably raise some nasty self/friend-linker flags.
posted by carsonb at 5:06 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was a dumb poo joke, so you should really feel no shame whatsoever in comparison.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:13 AM on May 23, 2012

Oh wow who ever could have predicted that my very first comment would be about horrible neighbors, stinky cats, and bacon.
posted by elizardbits at 5:19 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Huh. Apparently my first comment was about Rod Stewart. (Although, Eidteiker quoted me in here about 3 months before I even heard of the place, does that count?)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:55 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comments were my best comments. I wasn't yet comfortable enough to be my real stupid self.
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:02 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

Oh God, I didn't use capitals in most of my first comments. I was one of those people. eww.
posted by Think_Long at 6:03 AM on May 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

My first comment involved navelgazing introspection and conjecture about a time when I would fondly be thinking back on the time I made it.
posted by Eideteker at 6:14 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was a recommendation for things to do in Toronto. (I suggested Distillery District and Lula Lounge.) It was favourited by GuyZero. I was thrilled.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 6:15 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was a . for a poor departed soul mentioned in the coroner's reports of 1896-1935 Monroe County, Indiana.

Google tells me the site linked in the FPP isn't there any more, but has been replaced by a handy pdf. So that's two years' progress, I suppose.
posted by fight or flight at 6:17 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was on Ask and it included links to heat-blocking films at Lowe's and Home Depot. I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to use links. Not sure why.

My first comment on the blue wasn't until four years after I joined up and it was in response to...wait for it...a Harry Potter FPP.
posted by cooker girl at 6:18 AM on May 23, 2012

Mine was unremarkable, but I posted in a thread where ParisParamus was slashing and burning and it was hard for anyone to get a word in.
posted by three blind mice at 6:19 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was an anecdote re D&D... I specifically delurked to make it too. Nerdcore4Life!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:35 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was about M.F.K. Fisher's How To Cook A Wolf - a subject which, almost three years and a banhammering later - I made into a rewardingly favorited FPP. So, no regrets here.

However, my first MeTa post - which asked if "Christ, what an asshole" counted as an official MeFi in-joke and should thus be included in the FAQ list of them - was a horrible experience to the point where I can't bring myself to read the 231 (!) comment thread that resulted.
posted by Trurl at 6:42 AM on May 23, 2012

I signed up specifically in order to miss languagehat's point. Apparently.
posted by Sonny Jim at 6:55 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Just had a look and mine was a 'best answer'! I am a credit to this community /smug
posted by Abiezer at 7:06 AM on May 23, 2012

(Starbucks is not a food)

My first Ask reply (Forget circles, go triangle wheeled.) was a 'best answer', huh!
posted by tilde at 7:11 AM on May 23, 2012

I recommended warm and waterproof clothing for a trip to Norway. Advice that stands the test of time.
posted by arcticseal at 7:13 AM on May 23, 2012

I inspired a positive MetaTalk post? Awesome!!!
posted by sweetkid at 7:17 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

My first was part of a loquax pileon in an Iraq war thread.

My second was worse: "I also think I picked the wrong day to join metafilter."

What was I thinking? It's always a good day to join metafilter.
posted by notyou at 7:24 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

My first comment was some advice about mp3 players. It's now completely and totally outdated.
posted by box at 7:27 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first comment was about Johnny Ramone.

God, I'm like a broken record.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:47 AM on May 23, 2012 [7 favorites]

. . . much like his latest posthumous release.

Zing

oh. wait. that was Joey. Oh well, the joke shall remain.
posted by Think_Long at 7:53 AM on May 23, 2012

Oh wow, I went to check out my first favourite and it came a whole year later but was from #1 himself... bet I was too dumb to even appreciate that back then.
posted by infini at 8:03 AM on May 23, 2012

I inspired a positive MetaTalk post? Awesome!!!

Me too! (uncredited)
posted by John Cohen at 8:24 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first comment was a recommendation of things to do in Boston and Cambridge in AskMe. I didn't comment on the blue until over a year later.
posted by ocherdraco at 8:26 AM on May 23, 2012

I debated the utility of lesbian pornography in behavioral testing.
posted by Toekneesan at 8:31 AM on May 23, 2012

jeb.
posted by jeb at 1:54 AM on May 9, 2001 [+] [!]

Holy shit. I can't believe I Todd Lokken'd my very first comment, probably before Todd Lokkening was even a thing.
posted by jeb at 8:32 AM on May 23, 2012

Wow. I didn't even realize that it was my first comment on palindromes that led to this post on MetaTalk almost 9 years later.
posted by etc. at 8:39 AM on May 23, 2012

Does anyone else have a first comment that's more pointless than that?

YES!
posted by clavdivs at 8:45 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first comment was about fighting in Russian professional hockey, and I remember thinking, I should only ever comment about Russian hockey. I was probably right.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 8:45 AM on May 23, 2012

Mine was a Oh Dear God No in the DFW obit thread, which thanks to a combination of red wine in boxes, existential despair, and Monty Python, led to me finally joining the site.

So you can out the blame right there.
posted by The Whelk at 8:48 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

My first comment was on the blue, correcting shetterly when he said that Martin Luther King had been assassinated before Loving v. Virginia was decided.

Not long ago, in another forum, I said this about myself: "I'm an English major with a law degree, so I'm pretty much the most irritating person on the internet." I was wrong. Even before I had the law degree, I was pretty much the most irritating person on the internet.
posted by bakerina at 8:53 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first MeTa was a blatant piece of self-indulgent wank with nothing to recommend it. Thank you, Metafilter, for helping me learn to dial that back some.
posted by flabdablet at 8:58 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Mine was a Oh Dear God No in the DFW obit thread, which thanks to a combination of red wine in boxes, existential despair, and Monty Python, led to me finally joining the site.

To break down my personal feelings:

DFW's death = BAD
Red Wine in Boxes = MEH
Existential Despair = SOMETIMES USEFUL, OFTEN BAD
Monty Python = SOMETIMES USEFUL, OFTEN MEH
Whelk joining Metafilter = GOOD
posted by sweetkid at 9:00 AM on May 23, 2012

Wow, had to go back and see. Turns out my first comment was a recommendation for a book on self-deception and social (re)presentation penned by a former law professor of mine. Hmm.

And don't worry, Jpfed, someone in that thread called Freud out for being unscientific, too.
posted by joe lisboa at 9:02 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was a really boring answer about HIPAA portability, but it started with the decidedly non-inane (and now looking kind of creepily flippant): "Sorry about the cancer."
posted by Pax at 9:13 AM on May 23, 2012

Huh. My first comment was one of the more cogent things I've produced on the site, actually.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:13 AM on May 23, 2012

DFW's death = BAD

As a Texan, I consistently read this as Dallas/Fort Worth, and I was wondering just now what's so bad about that?
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:15 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

Huh. My first comment was one of the more cogent things I've produced on the site, actually.

Metafilter: Don't ask me what that rambling bit has to do with Pepsi Holiday Spice.
posted by joe lisboa at 9:20 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment garnered over 400 favorites. Everybody was incredibly excited that I had shown up on Mefi.

No, wait, that was Steve Wozniak.
posted by twirlip at 9:23 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

My first comment was about my brief experience in Zimbabwe. My propensity for writing at length was marked from the start.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:32 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment got a favorite but it was only a few weeks later that this rather clueless one got a strong suggestion that I LURK MOAR from Burhanistan. Ouch.
posted by bearwife at 9:33 AM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

Do I have the most inane first comment ever ?

You set yourself an extremely low pole under which to limbo.
posted by y2karl at 9:34 AM on May 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

In my first comment I said that some of Jim Henson's work calls Gitmo to mind. I'll stand by that. It's certainly not the most inane thing I've ever written around here.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 9:51 AM on May 23, 2012

My first comment: I want a crab-made plastic house.

That's pretty inane, I suppose.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:29 AM on May 23, 2012

"This is fun. Thank you."

Pony request: A five year edit window?
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 11:31 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first comment: "I want a crab-made plastic house." That's pretty inane, I suppose.

No, the word you're looking for is "awesome."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:34 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

stop reading this site and get back to work

Heh, still relevant, I guess.
posted by carter at 11:54 AM on May 23, 2012

In my first comment, I got the gender of a long inactive member wrong in her final post on MeFi (so far?)
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:41 PM on May 23, 2012

"I got the gender of a long inactive member wrong in her final post on MeFi"

I read that wrong.
posted by iamkimiam at 1:09 PM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first comment on the Blue was apparently:

"*blink*

*blink*

....well, that's interesting...."


Veni, vidi, i punctum temporis connivuit.
posted by zarq at 1:24 PM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first comment was about the paternoster in the movie The Omen. At that time, I didn't know they were called paternosters in English too.
posted by workerant at 2:40 PM on May 23, 2012

Veni, vidi, i punctum temporis connivuit.

Veni, vidi, abii.
posted by y2karl at 3:01 PM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

Apparently my first comment was about low- and high-yield nukes. I would never in a million years have guessed that.

Veni, vidi, oblivisci.
posted by languagehat at 3:11 PM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

My first comment was about David Byrne. I probably could have guessed that.
posted by painquale at 5:47 PM on May 23, 2012

My first comment exhorted the weird poetry books of Leonard Nimoy.
posted by hot soup girl at 6:44 PM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Huh. I did not recall that I plunked down my $5, finally, to mouth off in music Asks, but apparently that's what I did.
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:55 PM on May 23, 2012

My first comment was a total freakout flashback nightmare. Latin is the only class I STILL have bad dreams about.

Veni, vidi, lingua trucidantur.
posted by semper ubi sub ubi at 8:22 PM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

I think Merrill Markoe is really funny. She used to be head writer for David Letterman when he was at his best. Her "What the Dogs Have Taught Me" was a really funny book.

You can also put me in the pro Rita Rudner column. Many of her jokes show up in books of quotations, and collections with titles like, "The 100 Best Things Anyone's Ever Said." I think her jokes are not just funny, but extremely well put. I believe it's possible that she'll be as long remembered as Dorothy Parker.

Nancy Cartwright has been funny as Bart Simpson for a lot of years, Julie Kavner does Marge very well, and Pamela Hayden is great as Milhouse. It's easy to think of these folks as just people who make voices, but they've got to find funny ways to say their lines, too.

Speaking of cartoon voices, June Foray has done tons of funny stuff over an enormously long career. Rocky the flying squirrel, Natasha the spy, Tweety Bird's Granny.

Madeline Kahn was really funny, and really cute, in "Blazing Saddles," "Young Frankenstein," and "High Anxiety."

There's lots.

Holy Carp! Swingin' for the fences!
posted by Trochanter at 10:05 PM on May 23, 2012

Devils Rancher: "DFW's death = BAD

As a Texan, I consistently read this as Dallas/Fort Worth, and I was wondering just now what's so bad about that?"

DFW are my maiden name initials. Imagine how I felt.
posted by deborah at 10:08 PM on May 23, 2012

My first (a book title) got marked 'best answer' --- yay me! --- but it's been downhill from there....
posted by easily confused at 3:45 AM on May 24, 2012

My first comment is absolutely, and literally, "Idiocratic:"

I can't believe you like money too. We should hang out.
posted by General Malaise at 8:46 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

I had to go read the thread in which I made my first comment to figure out what in the world I was talking about. Apparently the T in T-Pain stands for Tallahassee. I did not know that before that thread, and apparently I wasn't the only one. The subject video of the FPP has fallen to the gods of copyright takedown by Viacom, but is currently available if you google around for Taylor Swift rapping. My next comment was some odd conjecture about genital theft and hallucinations caused by rye fungus.

I have no clue why I was driven to join in order to make those comments.
posted by This Guy at 9:16 AM on May 24, 2012

Genital theft?
posted by zarq at 9:45 AM on May 24, 2012

Aaaaaand we're back to cockburgling.
posted by The Whelk at 9:54 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Genital theft?

*checks pants, breathes sighs of relief. Heavy, panting sighs.*
posted by Think_Long at 9:55 AM on May 24, 2012

Ah, remember The Cockburgler, KFC's answer to The Hamburgler? Whatever happened to him? I thought his floppy red comb was so cute.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:23 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

My first comment gave away the ending to The Sixth Sense without a spoiler alert and I had to apologize for being stupid, very stupid.
posted by tamitang at 9:33 AM on May 27, 2012