Metafilter Fantasy Football Challenge 2012/2013

July 23, 2012 5:23 AM

The stars are right and the signs have manifested, the annual ritual of the MetaFilter Fantasy Football lives again! If you had a team last year, just log back into it and you should automatically rejoin the league. Putting on your Premier League gaffer's shoes for the first time? Go to the the official site, create a team (it's free!), and join the league using the code 31925-10953.

You are free to mess about with your team until the first ball is kicked on August 18th. This should give you plenty of time to follow the ongoing transfer rumors and adjust your squad as needed.

As a free service, here's a selection of the most recent football gossip, each meticulously researched on Twitter and verified using spiritual channeling of the Great Ascended Master Zorp, May He Top The League Forever:

- Luca Modric of Spurs is demanding a transfer to Real Madrid where he will live in a bootroom locker, emerging only at night to cobble the team's shoes and feast upon the offerings of bread and milk left out by Mesut Özil.

- Eden Hazard, having signed for Chelsea, has a clause in his contract stating that every time a media outlet prints a pun based on his name ("Garden of Eden" | "Hazard A Guess" etc), he will get the contents of Chelsea Owner and Billionaire James Bond Villain Roman Abramovich's left trouser pocket. This lucrative deal is expected to be worth 37 million pounds over the course of the season.

- American Clint Dempsey has stated that he wants to play Champions League football and as such is interested in a move to Liverpool. This will not be a problem as Liverpool defender Martin Skrtel has recently installed a flux capacitor in his SKRTEL-Mobile capable of the 1.21 gigawatts required to get back to the 1980s.

- With only a year left on his contract, Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie hopes to secure a transfer away from the club before Arsene Wenger casts him in his latest one act play.

- Queens Park Rangers look to expand their program of purchasing aging players by sending misfit midfielder Joey Barton on a series of recruiting missions to retirement communities. "Finally, we have found a role for Joey that capitalizes on his talent," owner Tony Fernandes stated, "Attacking and forcibly abducting old people from their homes."

- David Moyes found a fiver in his jacket pocket. Things are looking up for Everton! Expect a new striker any day now.

- At the end of the London Olympics, the entirety of West Ham United will move into the Olympic Stadium and chain themselves to the seats, hoping to secure squatters rights for the facility.

- Will 2012 be the End of Days? Not according to Manchester psychic Anawiccia Lightsheppard-Jones, the inventor of Balotellology, which is a system of foretelling future events based on the random acts of City striker Mario Balotelli. "His t-shirts are the I-Ching for the next age, his casual arsonry the tea leaves of tomorrow," she claimed.

- And finally, Sir Alex Ferguson has denied reports stating that he has threatened to return England international Wayne Rooney to his Naughty Box if Manchester United do not win the league. When asked for confirmation, Rooney stated that he's a good boy, such a good boy, and began to rub his head furiously.

So I hope that helps! Looking forward to seeing you all in the MetaFilter Premier League Fantasy Football Challenge this year!

posted by robocop is bleeding to MetaFilter-Related at 5:23 AM (50 comments total)

Now *my* question is does anyone around here have a picks league? I wish I was detail oriented enough for full on FF, but there you go.
posted by bibliogrrl at 5:35 AM on July 23, 2012

Where's Juve3nal so that I can throw it in his/her fact that I ended above them in the league last year?
posted by josher71 at 7:36 AM on July 23, 2012

I put Premier League Football in a category with sci-fi fandom, Dwarf Fortress, dubstep music and linux. Things I am quite interested in and enjoy reading about, but really can only occasionally dip my toe into the actual content, otherwise I am likely to drown in the torrent of information and esoterica those things bring with them. So, no I won't be joining your league, but this is one of the most amusing MeTa posts I've read in some while. Thanks!

- Eden Hazard, having signed for Chelsea, has a clause in his contract stating that every time a media outlet prints a pun based on his name ("Garden of Eden" | "Hazard A Guess" etc), he will get the contents of Chelsea Owner and Billionaire James Bond Villain Roman Abramovich's left trouser pocket. This lucrative deal is expected to be worth 37 million pounds over the course of the season.

You are a genius, sir.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:01 AM on July 23, 2012

I'm in. I renewed / updated my account from last season so I didn't need to use the league code again: in fact, when I tried to use it, nothing happened!

Does anyone have the league table for last season? I can't remember if I made it to a CL spot but I think it was the Europa League for me.
posted by smcg at 8:16 AM on July 23, 2012

Ah, I see you mentioned that in the second sentence of the post. That can only bode well for this season.
posted by smcg at 8:20 AM on July 23, 2012

Oh alright, you've twisted my arms. As if I needed another reason to obsess about football.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:55 AM on July 23, 2012

Sure, I'll play, I love fantasy footb---

Oh, you mean fantasy soccer. Carry on.
posted by King Bee at 9:42 AM on July 23, 2012 [5 favorites]

OH MAN YOU TOTALLY GOT US!
posted by inigo2 at 10:48 AM on July 23, 2012

How much fun would this be versus how intimidating would this be for an American who is just starting to get in to soccer?

I watch the EPL games on FoxSoccer, and can follow along with what's happening on the field, but don't know much about strikers versus wingers versus mid-fielders, and so on. I can recognize some of the big names, but I'm not as deeply immersed in the minutia of the game like some of my soccer crazed coworkers are.

Would this be fun for me, or totally above my level?
posted by ralan at 11:11 AM on July 23, 2012

ralan, that's how I got started. Playing the fantasy game gave me a lot more understanding about what was going on in the games I watched, which made the games more interesting, which made me better at the fantasy game, which taught me more about the game and...

Well, long story short, I'll be watching Liverpool play Roma at Fenway on Wednesday and then will be packing up the family to drive to Maryland to watch them play Spurs on Saturday.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:19 AM on July 23, 2012

Where's Juve3nal so that I can throw it in his/her fact that I ended above them in the league last year?

That's fair. You were already so far ahead by halfway through the season that I gave up.
posted by juv3nal at 11:32 AM on July 23, 2012

that's the thing with this fantasy game - it's a rush of excitement at first but after a month my nerves can't handle it and i wander off, and my team languishes. one of my good mates obsesses about it though and builds it into his friday night routine, so he regularly kills us. i might give it ago, knowing the best part of my team will be my name.
posted by kendrak at 11:35 AM on July 23, 2012

Oh. You mean soccer.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:22 PM on July 23, 2012

Hey my fellow Americans, you are not being cool with the "Oh, you mean soccer" thing. There are two three several sports named football, and we use context to determine which one. I know it's all in fun, but you are not helping the perceived US-centricity of MeFi.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:31 PM on July 23, 2012

The "Oh, you mean soccer" thing has been keeping me up at night because I'm trying to start an "Association Football Caucus" for one of my professional associations, and don't want to use "Soccer" because we're supposed to be international, but a lot of people don't know what "Association Football" is. Alas... it's a teaching moment but also a pain in the neck.
posted by kendrak at 12:35 PM on July 23, 2012

I'm in! One more mid-table finish here I come.

Could whoever called themself Infinite Jest last year please not do it again, you're confusing me....

kendrak: In your place, I'd just use 'soccer'. It's not like other English speakers don't use it. (I mean, even in the UK there's a TV show called Soccer Saturday, and no-one seems terribly upset by it).
posted by Infinite Jest at 12:39 PM on July 23, 2012

It was "oh you mean soccer" in that I was disappointed it wasn't American football. I know nothing about the former and enjoy the latter. That is all.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:49 PM on July 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

American Football is also around the corner, I can almost smell it. In anticipation, I give you Trackshittaz.
posted by kendrak at 1:01 PM on July 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hey my fellow Americans, you are not being cool with the "Oh, you mean soccer" thing.

I wasn't trying to be cool. That was my honest reaction.
posted by King Bee at 1:10 PM on July 23, 2012

I wasn't trying to be cool. That was my honest reaction.

Sadly, that's rare. It's more often a yuk yuk type of statement which is why got people's hackles up.
posted by josher71 at 1:24 PM on July 23, 2012

That's why I ended my comment with "carry on" and checked out; I just wasn't interested after I found out it wasn't NFL football.

I didn't mean to rile anyone up, so apologies.
posted by King Bee at 1:35 PM on July 23, 2012

robocop is bleeding: "- Eden Hazard, having signed for Chelsea, has a clause in his contract stating that every time a media outlet prints a pun based on his name ("Garden of Eden" | "Hazard A Guess" etc), he will get the contents of Chelsea Owner and Billionaire James Bond Villain Roman Abramovich's left trouser pocket. This lucrative deal is expected to be worth 37 million pounds over the course of the season."

By the time you finish reading this sentence, I will have added and replaced Eden Hazard from my team approximately 37 times.
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:37 PM on July 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm in. Atletico Burbank is looking to secure a Top 10 finish this year. My first scouting mission will be traveling to Oxnard to see Swansea City vs. the Ventura County Fusion on Saturday. My other scouting missions will be done on YouTube.
posted by stennieville at 1:41 PM on July 23, 2012

The highlight of my summer so far has been finishing 1 point behind Hogtown in the UEFA league.
posted by cgk at 2:24 PM on July 23, 2012

Thank god the footie's almost back. Hogtown Hotspur plans on defending their crown this year! (Well at least until the first saturday morning I sleep in and fail to change my captain after a broken leg or summat and say "feck it").
posted by jamesonandwater at 2:58 PM on July 23, 2012

Oh dang. Wrong football.

that said as grartastic as my NFL team usually is, I should switch sports.
posted by bibliogrrl at 3:08 PM on July 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Wow. RvP is very expensive for someone who is completely dead to me.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:13 PM on July 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

ralan, I'm with you. I enjoy watching, but don't know the intricacies well enough to even pretend I'd be constructing a team that makes any sense.

Then again, I do NCAA pools by picking which mascot would win in a fistfight, so maybe I'm in.
posted by catlet at 5:40 PM on July 23, 2012

You can still play catlet, lots of people (the fantasy football diehards call them "the casuals") just pick a team on week 1 and leave it as is for the year, rather than obsessively tweaking week to week. The site will autopick a team for you if you want, you can throw in the names of players you recognize or I'm sure people here would be happy to help.
posted by jamesonandwater at 6:20 PM on July 23, 2012

My first time around, I picked players based on their names sounding like Jack Kirby monsters.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:22 PM on July 23, 2012

I'm in, as the MeFi Roaring Lads. I let the site autoselect a team for me, and then swapped out for players who I've heard of and could afford.

I have no clue what the hell I'm doing, so this should be fun.
posted by ralan at 6:52 PM on July 23, 2012

catlet: "Then again, I do NCAA pools by picking which mascot would win in a fistfight, so maybe I'm in."

If it helps, you can think of Joey Barton as a living, breathing version of Notre Dame's mascot.
posted by Dr. Zira at 6:52 PM on July 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Christ, I'll do it again— though I seemed cursed by making the wrong (but what seemed to be good) decisions repeatedly. It was uncanny. I kept letting go of players right before they went on a tear. But also, I just didn't get it at the beginning and only slightly got it by the end.

I do wish there had been a way to bitch and moan and commiserate with others throughout the season.
posted by Red Loop at 7:19 PM on July 23, 2012

American Clint Dempsey has stated that he wants to play Champions League football and as such is interested in a move to Liverpool.

Which is fascinating, considering that Liverpool aren't in the Champions League this year, and, sorry robocop, won't be next year either.

Dr. Zira, change all the players you like. I will still completely crush you by one whole point. Not that that matters, we're all going to get destroyed by jamesonandwater again.

ralan, playing the fantasy game is a great way to expand your knowledge of the actual game. It's a lot of fun.

Is there any interest in starting a similar head-to-head league to go along with the classic league? I'm doing that this year with my private leagues, and it seems like a good way to keep people interested even if they're not doing so well.
posted by Errant at 8:01 PM on July 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Which is fascinating, considering that Liverpool aren't in the Champions League this year, and, sorry robocop, won't be next year either.

Heh, read the sentence after the one you quoted...;-)
posted by Infinite Jest at 12:08 AM on July 24, 2012

Much like the fnords, I cannot see any sentence that involves Robin van Persie.
posted by Errant at 2:43 AM on July 24, 2012

Yeah, poor Dempsey is up a creek a bit, I think. There's no place for him in the Champions League teams right now, so he has to look to the other "big" clubs for a place and hope they qualify.

I wonder, though, if he'd be willing to accept the diminished role that would be asked of him at a bigger club than Fulham. It's not like he has to worry about not being picked for Team USA or anything, but it's pretty clear the dude wants to play. The only think Liverpool can offer that the other "fighting for #4-5" clubs can't is getting his mug on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Of course, in the New Liverpool Way, they've already flubbed the transfer so I doubt we'll see him in red this fall. Fulham is rightly trying to cash in on Dempsey's banner season, and Liverpool accidentally counting their chickens before the transfer fee is cashed by posting that they acquired him on FSG's website, so Fulham knows how keen the Reds are to sign him. After the Siggy Saga, we know Rodgers won't overpay for a player, no matter how keen he (or FSG - Dempsey Sells Shirts) is.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:34 AM on July 24, 2012

I think you should start a head to head, Errant, those are fun too.
posted by jamesonandwater at 5:56 AM on July 24, 2012

Yes, we should totally do head to head leagues as well, as we have many heads.
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:05 AM on July 24, 2012

Somehow I managed to remember my account and reactivate it. Didn't play this one much last year, but maybe this time.
posted by philipy at 8:45 AM on July 24, 2012

Ah, fond high school memories.
posted by Zed at 11:31 AM on July 24, 2012

FC Efficacy is in. Of course with Van Persie up in the air, my last year strategy of pick Van Persie as captain and coast, might have to be tweaked...

To those thinking of starting out for the firs time, definitely give it a shot. It adds another layer to watching the games, and adds a rather amusing factor of wanting players you have in your fantasy team to do well as a secondary if the actual team you support isn't. Also makes watching the highlight reels more interesting to me, because normally I wouldn't care overly much about how two bottom table sides fared against each other, but this gives me some skin in the game.

Also some of us have been in on the Champions League fantasy, but not nearly as many as the Premier League one, so keep an eye out when that one gets going if anyone's interested! (Pro-tip-- pick Messi).
posted by haveanicesummer at 2:15 PM on July 26, 2012

Too bad we can't draft Beckham, because he is getting more coverage during the GBR/Senegal qualifier than most of the gentlemen actually playing. Somewhere a single tear falls down the cheek of Aaron Ramsey's agent.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:33 PM on July 27, 2012

I have already suppressed forgotten my final position in last year's league, but I'm in as always. And I'm Ameobitious enough to go for glory; I've got a feeling that this will be my year.

*transfers in Torres and crosses fingers*

Thirding the suggestion for a head-to-head league.

Also, where is the banter at? I seem to remember it was happening at MeFightClub last year, although I never got around to joining.
posted by Bukvoed at 1:26 PM on July 28, 2012

Last year we set up our own live chat room for the first few matches. Can't remember who captained that endeavor, but we should do that again.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:53 PM on July 28, 2012

Just what is a head-to-head league, anyway? Last year was the first time I've ever done any of this fantasy stuff, and it took a while to figure out how to do it; it's fun, though!
Well, usually fun.
posted by Red Loop at 6:27 AM on July 29, 2012

Ok, I created the MeFight Head-To-Head league. The join code is 205169-135608.

Red Loop, a head-to-head league works more like fantasy American football or fantasy baseball. Each week you get paired up against a different team in the league, and whoever scores more points at the end of the gameweek gets 3 points in the league table. If you end up tied, both teams get 1 point. The points accrued from wins and draws are what determines your overall league standing, as opposed to the classic-style league in which the points accrued by your fantasy players determines ranking. As an example:

In Week 1, Team A scores 50 pts vs Team B scores 40 pts. Team C scores 30 pts vs Team D scores 20 pts. The classic league would rank them as:
Team A
Team B
Team C
Team D

But the head-to-head would rank them as:
Team A, 3 pts
Team C, 3 pts
Team B, 0 pts
Team D, 0 pts.

You join the league with the same team as the classic league, so you don't have to do any extra work. It's basically a league where consistently scoring above-average point totals gets you more reward than having many up weeks and many down weeks.
posted by Errant at 2:23 PM on August 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

I haven't looked at this since I joined and threw up a placeholder team, meaning to think about it more later.

But now the Premiership is imminent. Yikes!
posted by philipy at 11:31 AM on August 13, 2012

Just a reminded that more should join the head-to-head league! A lot more are in the main league, and it's be nice to have more!
posted by haveanicesummer at 12:41 PM on August 16, 2012

Regulators, saddle up!
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:21 PM on August 17, 2012