Are we opening a social network?

August 13, 2012 2:41 PM

Mathowie + Josh Miller + Branch = how babby social networks are made?

I was interested to see Matt's photo (and Anil's) being used to explain post-Twitter love child Branch and How it Works. 10 minutes after signing up for an invite, I got an auto-response email from someone named Josh Miller letting me know about a "secret" way into Branch. At which point I began wondering if I was missing something, like... you are all moving to SF to move in with Evan Williams and we're all being sold to Facebook or something.

What gives?

PS: If there is any legit involvement from anyone at MeFi with Branch, maybe someone could explain to me what it is. Because I have read all the words, but in that order they convey no meaning at all.

posted by DarlingBri to MetaFilter-Related at 2:41 PM (77 comments total)

Are you confusing Josh Miller with Josh Millard?
posted by zsazsa at 2:46 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

I just don't get social media at all.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:47 PM on August 13, 2012

No, there's no connection between MetaFilter and Branch. Maybe they used pictures of Matt, Anil, and me because we were involved in an early conversation on Branch.

Branch is another spot to have conversations with people. It's kind of like Twitter in that comments can only be so long. It's not like Twitter in that only invited people can participate in a conversation. All of the comments show up in one list on one page, unlike Twitter. So it's a little easier to follow a single conversation. I think that's the selling point.
posted by pb (staff) at 2:49 PM on August 13, 2012

For the record, I don't know what the whozit is with the whatsit on any of this, though it is amusing to see Matt and Paul's smiling avatars show up on that little animation thing over there for whatever reason.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:49 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

My Tweet Branched out into your Facebook's Last Jam.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:50 PM on August 13, 2012

Are you confusing Josh Miller with Josh Millard?

YES! Yes I am! I feel so much better now, thank you!

Except for the profound public humiliation part.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:50 PM on August 13, 2012 [25 favorites]

Well at least you invited us all here to mock you.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:52 PM on August 13, 2012 [4 favorites]

If it will make you feel better I invite everyone to mock me for my endless ~FEELINGS about teen wofl.
posted by elizardbits at 2:55 PM on August 13, 2012

It's a social network that operates on a shame-based economy.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:56 PM on August 13, 2012

Since I was born without a shame gland this is not really a big deal to me though.
posted by elizardbits at 2:56 PM on August 13, 2012

Poor Cortext should not take it personally; I spelled my own husband's name wrong on our wedding favours. For real!
posted by DarlingBri at 2:58 PM on August 13, 2012 [3 favorites]

If it will make you feel better I invite everyone to mock me for my endless ~FEELINGS about teen wofl.

wofl? is that some new social media thingy that delivers waffles? invite plz.
posted by juv3nal at 2:59 PM on August 13, 2012 [8 favorites]

I'm sure he won't, whoever he is.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:59 PM on August 13, 2012 [11 favorites]

it delivers wofls perched upon the firm glorious manbreasts of derek hale
posted by elizardbits at 3:01 PM on August 13, 2012

I'll pay the $5 if Josh Miller wants the cortext account.
posted by Gary at 3:01 PM on August 13, 2012 [6 favorites]

wofl is how Elmer Fudd laughs online.
posted by shakespeherian at 3:02 PM on August 13, 2012 [10 favorites]

I hope cortext, jazzy ming and restless_bromide all chime in on this exciting new social network!
posted by mintcake! at 3:14 PM on August 13, 2012 [9 favorites]

THIS IS WHY WE NEED AN EDIT WINDOW.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:18 PM on August 13, 2012 [3 favorites]

don't forget baz!
posted by Think_Long at 3:19 PM on August 13, 2012 [2 favorites]

I propose that cortex start an alternative to Facebook called BUTTSLOLbook.
posted by desjardins at 3:21 PM on August 13, 2012 [4 favorites]

The weirdest thing about this is that Anil invited me and the ex-Blogger people into a conversation and I knew it was using some sort of beta software of some kind, but I had no idea any of it would become public or that what we were doing was like a test case for the company. It was all password-protected at the time, but eventually I figured out that Ev invested in it or something. It's fine and I like how it turned out, but I probably would have been more thoughtful if I knew it was going to be a big example of conversation that the public would see.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 3:44 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

Dear Vimeo:

Your embedding still sucks.

Love,
Cautious Internet guy.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:45 PM on August 13, 2012 [3 favorites]

If it will make you feel better I invite everyone to mock me for my endless ~FEELINGS about teen wofl.


Is that you who's in the top bookmarks on pinboard every day with the Teen Wolf fic? Coz if you'd go ahead and check that "I am part of fandom" box I'd be super grateful.
posted by mph at 3:48 PM on August 13, 2012

Babby is not made. Babby is formed.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 3:54 PM on August 13, 2012 [6 favorites]

I'm living the Josh Miller High Life.
posted by special-k at 3:57 PM on August 13, 2012

Millard. Like Willard, but he doesn't turn the rats on us at the end.
posted by Toekneesan at 4:00 PM on August 13, 2012

Ugh, pinboard. Hells to the no.
posted by elizardbits at 4:03 PM on August 13, 2012

Oh wait pinboard is not pinterest. I retract my UGH but still no.
posted by elizardbits at 4:04 PM on August 13, 2012

It's kind of like Twitter in that comments can only be so long.

I don't know why this -- in the case of Twitter or anywhere else -- ignites such fury in me. But it does. It's odd.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:28 PM on August 13, 2012

Oh, good, someone mentioned Pinboard. Now I can link Pinboard founder Maciej Ceglowski's thoughts on Branch.
posted by zsazsa at 4:29 PM on August 13, 2012 [4 favorites]

Millard. Like Willard, but he doesn't turn the rats on us at the end.

We can't be sure of that. We're not at the end yet.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:34 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

brev=lolsol
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:44 PM on August 13, 2012

Pretty soon we'll all be so busy social networking that we don't have any friends.
posted by spitbull at 4:46 PM on August 13, 2012

I ddn't have any friends before it was cool.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:53 PM on August 13, 2012 [2 favorites]

The secret: What we would all rather be doing is sitting in a park talking with a friend like in that video, not communicating on another goddamn social network.
posted by dunkadunc at 4:59 PM on August 13, 2012 [2 favorites]

For the longest time, I confused Josh Million with Josh Milliard.
posted by DU at 5:03 PM on August 13, 2012

Anyone in the app.net alpha? I heard app.net is the new branch.
posted by Ad hominem at 5:15 PM on August 13, 2012

app.net is twitter with more whitespace and it costs $50
posted by desjardins at 5:24 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm stunned that app.net isn't already the name of a Microsoft product.
posted by Gary at 5:35 PM on August 13, 2012 [6 favorites]

Toekneesan: "Millard. Like Willard, but he doesn't turn the rats on us at the end."

It's too bad it's not Mallard. Because then we could call him Duckie. /NCIS fanatic
posted by IndigoRain at 5:57 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

for $1000 you get twitter + access to groundbreaking In-Person meeting technology.

You are right, I can't believe Microsoft dropped the ball on the app.net name, that could have been their new app creation app.They need to fire Balmer.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:00 PM on August 13, 2012

Their pitch kind of sounds like a description of Metafilter, actually.

I know this is kind of missing the point, but that whole jolly-voiceover-explaining-the-obvious, stock images of potential users having a perfect time, and that plinky-plunky-tinkle-tinkle quasi-iPhone ad music, just make me go bleh. But I guess I am not in their demographic.
posted by carter at 6:14 PM on August 13, 2012

Branch has a much better video than app.net, which was just painfully awkward to watch. The guy's probably a member here, so I apologize, but consider using a script and looking into the camera (or just hire a spokesperson, now that you have three quarters of a million dollars).
posted by desjardins at 6:22 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

plinky-plunky-tinkle-tinkle

brb, have to pee
posted by desjardins at 6:22 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

Be a sweet, and wipe the seat!
posted by carter at 6:32 PM on August 13, 2012

he should just read the statement like 10 times and do jump cuts between the take that seems best between each take, make him look dynamic as fuck like the web 2.0 CEO version of Jay Smooth. He should throw some cats in there too, I only want to get on app.net to see cat pics nobody else has access to. VIP cat type shit.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:54 PM on August 13, 2012 [2 favorites]

I'm not going to lie, I was really excited to see my name added to Matt's, but I'm glad I didn't accidentally procreate a social network with him, like while I was blacked out that one time. That'd be a little scary.
posted by anotherpanacea at 7:11 PM on August 13, 2012

the thing about app.net is that it seems to be nothing but a face of white male faces.
posted by subbes at 7:15 PM on August 13, 2012

subbes: "a face of white male faces"

Arrggghhh!
posted by arcticseal at 7:26 PM on August 13, 2012

Oh wait pinboard is not pinterest. I retract my UGH but still no.

I paid $4 or 5 for my pinboard account. I never use it. I don't remember my username or password. If the guy starts charging a $5 a year maintenance fee I am paying it. I want to encourage that sort of service. I've a lot of fun on twitter over the years, but their treatment of third party devs, their insistence I see ads for products I couldn't give a shit about, and the fact that they keep suggesting I follow asshole celebrities I've already blocked, makes me question how long I'll stay a member. Let me pay.

Oh, yeah, Matt, send me an invoice.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:29 PM on August 13, 2012

There are ads on twitter? I've never seen one. Huh.
posted by heyho at 7:50 PM on August 13, 2012

he should just read the statement like 10 times and do jump cuts between the take that seems best between each take, make him look dynamic as fuck like the web 2.0 CEO version of Jay Smooth.

I can't even watch a Jay Smooth video without wanting to punch him in the dick face for those jump cuts. They're just completely intolerable.
posted by desjardins at 7:56 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

elizardbits: "If it will make you feel better I invite everyone to mock me for my endless ~FEELINGS about teen wofl."

As long as you mean the movie I have no problem with that.
posted by theichibun at 8:18 PM on August 13, 2012

Nobody has explored the jump cut on YouTube like Robbie Sherrard? He is almost, but not quite, assembling videos word by word.

Maybe app.net dude is doing something right by not presenting a slicker image. He is like the Pepperidge Farm, Country Time, or Bartles and James of social networks. He harkens back to a simpler time when there were like 5 people on and they were all dudes who just wanted to talk about The Evil Dead and Warhammer Miniatures with somebody. Instead of doing a website he should do the whole thing in ncurses, maybe if you pay extra you get a shell with dial in access.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:27 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

> If it will make you feel better I invite everyone to mock me for my endless ~FEELINGS about teen wofl

If it makes you feel guilty I will tell you that I've added Teen Wolf to my Netflix queue based on nothing but your Tumblr.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:40 PM on August 13, 2012

Tumblr loves the Teen Wolf.
posted by maryr at 10:33 PM on August 13, 2012

elizardbits :Since I was born without a shame gland this is not really a big deal to me though.

Maybe you just need to have your shame glands expressed.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:42 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

Branch is slowly becoming an indispensable resource for technology discussion. Is this the Quora Killer?
posted by Ad hominem at 11:34 PM on August 13, 2012

Logo looks a but like they snagged some of Borders branding in the fire sale.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 3:41 AM on August 14, 2012

I bet this will me mildly successful and then twitter will go "omnomnom rranches are tasty!"
posted by royalsong at 4:38 AM on August 14, 2012

bah. branches*
posted by royalsong at 4:38 AM on August 14, 2012

Wait when you say 'Teen Wolf' you're talking about young Tom Wolfe right?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:14 AM on August 14, 2012

Matt would not allow the camera to remain out of focus.
posted by clavdivs at 6:55 AM on August 14, 2012

I'm on app.net, same username as here, if anyone wants to reach out to me there.

/hahah nevermind why would anyone want to talk to me?

I ponied up the $50 because I like the idea of a startup that actually has a revenue model from the get go, and the no ads thing, and the transparent data/API access thing, and why the hell not.
posted by misskaz at 8:04 AM on August 14, 2012

I still haven't quite figured out how I should be using it, but stellar.io seems pretty cool to me.
posted by schmod at 9:01 AM on August 14, 2012

Logo looks a but like they snagged some of Borders branding in the fire sale.

Still in play at Borders...in Malaysia.
posted by mintcake! at 10:01 AM on August 14, 2012

Maybe you just need to have your shame glands expressed.

I've heard the smell from that can be absolutely horrific.
posted by MsMolly at 11:28 AM on August 15, 2012

"don't forgt baz!" made me laugh so hard i nearly peed. Either i love this site or i am up too late. Both maybe.
posted by davejay at 11:27 PM on August 15, 2012

Yep, davejay booth! :)
posted by i_wear_boots at 11:38 PM on August 15, 2012

> There are ads on twitter? I've never seen one. Huh.

So far only sponsored tweets in your timeline and trending topics and sponsored people you should follow and escort ads. So far.

Most third party apps doesn't show this crap. I suppress a lot of it with stylesheets. If you are using something other than the web you're probably fine until twitter cuts off you app of choice.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:42 AM on August 16, 2012

Given the enormous clusterfuck of my spelling errors all over Metafilter for the past 7 days, way above average even for me, I just wanted to clarify that I am not posting while drunk. I mean, I'm sure I have posted while drunk, but I'd pretty much have to have been drunk all week for that to be the case.

While that sounds fun, the boring reality is that I have moderate dyscalculia and mild dyslexia; the dyslexia gets much worse when I'm tired or stressed, both of which I have been all week. Coupled with the fact my in-browser spell checker appears to have changed languages, it has not been a good week for text communication. (Funny, yes; effective, not so much...)

For the record, I know perfectly well Josh is cortex and not cortext, although I was genuinely surprised to discover his last name is Millard and not Miller. Sorry Cortex!
posted by DarlingBri at 7:18 AM on August 16, 2012

It's cool, it's a common typo (and the word "context" is constantly giving me double takes, for that matter) and Miller is a much more common last name. And most people mispronounce Millard to rhyme with it, so you were just riding the like psycho-phonetic vibe or whatever.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:55 AM on August 16, 2012

I think you should tell people it's pronounced m'lord. That would be awesome.
posted by DarlingBri at 9:03 AM on August 16, 2012

I pronounce it more like I'm rapping about culinary fat, like I got my lard on my mind and m'mind on m'lard.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:13 AM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Ooh, new toy! Can I have one?
posted by lackutrol at 5:19 PM on August 17, 2012

Lard? I've got some some extra right here...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:24 PM on August 17, 2012

$50 only gets you access for one year.
posted by IndigoRain at 11:04 PM on August 17, 2012