Bananas in the Break Room

October 8, 2012 8:08 AM

This has been driving me nuts: where is the post about bananas in the break room?

There was a ask metafilter post a few years ago that had to do with the complete meltdown of a multinational corporation's email system initiated by a well-intentioned email about "bananas in the breakroom". I cannot find it for the life of me.

I've searched, believe me. My usual approach isn't working here.

I thought I'd appeal to you all before I come to the conclusion that I just dreamed up the whole thing

posted by noonday to MetaFilter-Related at 8:08 AM (63 comments total)

It's this comment on the blue.
posted by jedicus at 8:10 AM on October 8, 2012 [5 favorites]

the name of the post is UNSUBSCRIBE ME FROM THIS LIST and it is on the blue

search FREE BANANAS IN THE KITCHEN
posted by elizardbits at 8:10 AM on October 8, 2012

Hey, it's from— dammit.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:14 AM on October 8, 2012

My brain is full of nominally useless trivia and yet it is a sincere trial to remember to put on pants before I leave the house.
posted by elizardbits at 8:16 AM on October 8, 2012 [12 favorites]

It is not cool to turn one of your colleagues into a random piece of fruit.

Whomever did this, change Andy back into his human form ASAP.
posted by MuffinMan at 8:22 AM on October 8, 2012 [18 favorites]

Oh I forgot how much I loved that story. Added to the BestOf blog.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:25 AM on October 8, 2012 [11 favorites]

Fruitomancy is the darkest of arts.
posted by The Whelk at 8:28 AM on October 8, 2012 [4 favorites]

Yes!!!! That was it!!
Many thanks.
posted by noonday at 8:41 AM on October 8, 2012

That is one of the best told stories ever. The setup and punch line are perfect.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:58 AM on October 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

TO: Distribution_list
RE: Plums in the icebox
posted by steef at 9:09 AM on October 8, 2012 [30 favorites]

As a side note, I totally understand for awesome old stuff thike this, but I've noticed the sidebar falling into disue and some great things going onto the best of blog without making it to the sidebar as well.
posted by Blasdelb at 9:45 AM on October 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

That is one of the best told stories ever. The setup and punch line are perfect.

What bugs me is that the story goes that the CEO typed his email and THEN hit "Reply All". But actually, you'd have to do it the other way around.

THE WHOLE STORY IS BUILT ON LIES
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 10:36 AM on October 8, 2012 [10 favorites]

Sometimes I wish my company was bigger so I could do this.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:37 AM on October 8, 2012

You would ruin it all as an elaborate setup for a Fresh Prince shaggy dog joke though.
posted by elizardbits at 10:55 AM on October 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

because you are a ruiner who ruins things
posted by elizardbits at 10:55 AM on October 8, 2012

Shakesperian is the PRINCE OF LIES
posted by The Whelk at 10:56 AM on October 8, 2012

NEVER FORGET
posted by elizardbits at 10:57 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

basically history's greatest monster
posted by The Whelk at 11:04 AM on October 8, 2012

How did that never get sidebarred, btw.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:08 AM on October 8, 2012

because you're wrong on the inside.
posted by The Whelk at 11:09 AM on October 8, 2012

i lol'd
posted by elizardbits at 11:10 AM on October 8, 2012

I've noticed the sidebar falling into disue and some great things going onto the best of blog without making it to the sidebar as well.

The sidebar is the thing we use now much more for site-specific stuff that won't make sense to people off the site, or for "hey check out this post/comment you might have missed" Stuff that answers the question "Why might someone who didn't know much about MetaFilter enjoy reading MetaFilter?" it's usually posted ot BestOf. NB: if you read the blog at bestof.metafilter.com, it has both the sidebar and BestOf content on it.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:11 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Will someone please think of the mulberries?
posted by arcticseal at 11:14 AM on October 8, 2012

> Shakesperian is the PRINCE OF LIES

All his best comments were written by baconian.
posted by ardgedee at 11:16 AM on October 8, 2012 [14 favorites]

i don't get it
posted by shakespeherian at 11:25 AM on October 8, 2012

shakepeherian's crime
posted by Kattullus at 11:36 AM on October 8, 2012

the set-up
posted by elizardbits at 11:39 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

why isn't he in Internet Jail by now I mean
posted by The Whelk at 11:40 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'M READING IT ALL AGAIN RIGHT NOW AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH
posted by elizardbits at 11:41 AM on October 8, 2012

THIS WOUND
WILL NEVER
HEAL
posted by The Whelk at 11:42 AM on October 8, 2012

CRAWLING IN MY TATER SKIN
posted by elizardbits at 11:43 AM on October 8, 2012

i feel like the three of us should have a terrible publc-access cable talk show
posted by elizardbits at 11:43 AM on October 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

Jesus fuck. I bet there were people in Hitler's pottery class in Berlin in the 1945 who were all like "He declared war against who now? Henry, did you hear about this with Hitler?"
posted by Jofus at 11:46 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Never get into a land war in Asia, and never trust a shakespeherian when taters are on the line.
posted by daniel_charms at 11:47 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yes, shakespherian. Hitler. Actual Hitler.
posted by Jofus at 11:47 AM on October 8, 2012

Well I mean I'm a pretty mediocre painter but that's just mean.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:48 AM on October 8, 2012 [4 favorites]

You're walking in Berlin

there's no one around and you have no phone

out of the corner of your eye you spy him

Hilter.
posted by The Whelk at 11:49 AM on October 8, 2012

You're a Looper!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:51 AM on October 8, 2012

God, I still am blown away by how good this single comment of shakespeherian's is, in response to people asking for more info on the taters story. Just straightforward blithely-friendly opaque denial-of-desire. Perfect, perfect. Perfect.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:17 PM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

SEE WHAT WE MEAN.

MONSTER.
posted by The Whelk at 12:20 PM on October 8, 2012

Also this:

So we finally got to the neighborhood and spent about fifteen minutes going the wrong way on a north-south street because we weren't familiar with the area and I'm rubbish at navigation (I'm from San Diego originally and have trouble orienting myself without mountains on the horizon).

is making me roll around in bliss like a dog on a patch of grass. SO FUCKING USELESS. Such WHOLLY UNNECESSARY INFORMATION. He typed it. He typed it and MADE ME READ IT. Ah! Sublime.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:21 PM on October 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Shakesperian is a skilled fabulist (read LIAR)
posted by The Whelk at 12:23 PM on October 8, 2012

Hitler allusions notwithstanding, Shakespeherian is the best at Metafilter. Also his name is almost impossible to spell the same way twice.
posted by Jofus at 2:18 PM on October 8, 2012

After logging in to so many things over the years I now have to catch myself whenever I spell Shakespeare's name.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:22 PM on October 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

Of course, the taters lady did return later to reveal it was an euphemism for porn. But her comment wasn't nearly so fun.

(Also shakespeherian you are worse than Stalin.)
posted by subbes at 5:34 PM on October 8, 2012

The Whelk: "Shakesperian is a skilled fabulist (read LIAR)"

You mean Shakespeherian.
posted by IndigoRain at 5:47 PM on October 8, 2012

The god of deciet has many names.
posted by The Whelk at 6:30 PM on October 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Anyway how much would it take to get a cable access call in show anyway?
posted by The Whelk at 6:43 PM on October 8, 2012

The first expense is flying you two out here.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:40 PM on October 8, 2012

She also said she cringes whenever she comes across it, which means I cringe whenever I come across it. So awkward!
posted by batmonkey at 8:57 PM on October 8, 2012

Call in show. You get to call-in Shakes. Or appear as a spectral vision on a light-up globe
posted by The Whelk at 9:01 PM on October 8, 2012

Oh god, that just brought back memories of my first internet-related job, when I set up my first mailing list and, despite not being done, reluctantly gave the mailing list address to the owner of the small business who had hired us, with the instruction not to use it yet. Not only did he use it, but he used it to "test" sending an attachment of hundreds of customers' names, addresses, phone numbers and emails. As I'd misconfigured the mailing list (I wasn't done yet!) the mail went out instead of into moderation, and every reply to the list went out to everyone on the list, and some of the people were using WebTV for f's sake, and so it was taking them hours to slog through all the replies (and then of course to reply in complaint, making it worse) and the phone calls I had to make to calm people down and not sue us, good lord it was awful. And the owner of that small business loudly and repeatedly accused me of sending the mail that kicked it all off, although he never had an explanation for how I'd gotten a list of the customers' names and addresses and phone numbers and emails. Gah.

At least I now know what I'll be dreaming about.
posted by davejay at 11:05 PM on October 8, 2012

Of course, the taters lady did return later to reveal it was an euphemism for porn. But her comment wasn't nearly so fun.

Wait, what? Really? How were we all not alerted?!

But now it feels less special.
posted by flaterik at 1:13 AM on October 9, 2012

Kickstarter: podcast with all of you.

Also, I want to get shakespeherian a book deal.
posted by misha at 11:42 AM on October 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Kickstarter: podcast with all of you.

No cause then we'd have to reveal what we actually talk about.
posted by The Whelk at 11:54 AM on October 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh god so embarrassing.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:58 AM on October 9, 2012

I'm so not cool with your Derek Hale/Steve Rogers fic Tim
posted by The Whelk at 12:03 PM on October 9, 2012

Are you saying it made you hot
posted by shakespeherian at 12:17 PM on October 9, 2012

Thank you! I've been looking for this forever. For some reason I thought it was from DailyWTF, but I couldn't find it there. Thanks for rescuing this from the memory hole!
posted by Afroblanco at 1:44 PM on October 9, 2012

Reading that comment again made me laugh so hard the cat jumped off my lap in disgust. Now she's washing her crotch at me.
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:49 PM on October 9, 2012

Ah. Was wondering why that had just popped up on the "Best Of" blog. This explains it.

After several years I'm almost tempted to reveal who the uber-boss was, but I probably shouldn't just to be safe (he's still alive, and in the House of Lords).

If anyone really cares that much though memail me and I'll tell you, on super-secret-mefi-honour that you don't spread the name around.
posted by garius at 5:13 AM on October 10, 2012

NB: if you read the blog at bestof.metafilter.com, it has both the sidebar and BestOf content on it.

A small link to the blog in the sidebar might be useful then. I was under the impression that the blog only included sidebar content.
posted by ersatz at 6:27 AM on October 10, 2012

Anyway how much would it take to get a cable access call in show anyway?

I think it's a lot cheaper if you tape it ahead of time.
posted by Lemurrhea at 7:48 AM on October 10, 2012