looking for a thread about communication

October 21, 2012 2:26 PM

I remember (and am trying to find) an AskMe thread about communication/conversation which included a comment that described the following scenario:

Person A: Do you have a dog?
Person B: No. Do you?
Person A: Nope. [Person A doesn't go on to talk about dogs or give any explanation or context for the question and moves on to another topic.]

The point of the comment was that this is somewhat weird/awkward conversationally--that generally in conversation you'd expect some kind of context for questions, or expect the asker to use the question as a way to start chatting about dogs (or whatever they're asking about), but in the example Person A does nothing. The example may not have been "Do you have a dog?" but I think it was.

I can't find it. Maybe you can?

posted by needs more cowbell to MetaFilter-Related at 2:26 PM (27 comments total)

This is a shot in the dark, but discursive weirdness like this always makes me think of Grice's maxims, and the most promising thing I found searching Askme comments for "Grice" was this thread about missing the point.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:35 PM on October 21, 2012 [6 favorites]

Thanks Cortex. That's an interesting thread, but not the one. I think the thread in question was about conversation (or maybe possibly dating/getting to know people) in general, and just one comment mentioned this phenomenon.
posted by needs more cowbell at 2:45 PM on October 21, 2012

I can't find it. Maybe you can?

Nope.
posted by softlord at 2:45 PM on October 21, 2012 [17 favorites]

This sounds familiar to me too! And there were other examples featuring more appropriate responses.
posted by Autumn at 3:00 PM on October 21, 2012

I remember this comment, just not the thread...it definitely happened though! I think there was an Ask thread where the poster was perplexed about why people didn't like her, maybe specifically referring to people she was in school with (and if I remember correctly it was clear from the tone/content of the Q that the poster was condescending, awkward, sort of unfriendly, etc).
posted by sallybrown at 3:02 PM on October 21, 2012

Is this the comment you're looking for?
posted by Autumn at 3:13 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

that is not my dog!
posted by edgeways at 6:20 PM on October 21, 2012 [2 favorites]

And the portions are too small!
posted by Nomyte at 6:22 PM on October 21, 2012 [2 favorites]

I also remember there being some discussion in the question or in the thread itself about how the OP disliked that her classmates/friends would make jokingly disparaging remarks about one of her hobbies, or something like that.

Both of these answers (1, 2) are fairly similar, if not the exact answer you were looking for.
posted by sallybrown at 6:24 PM on October 21, 2012

I never heard of Grice's maxims before and am really glad they were mentioned here, as I'd have missed them otherwise. Cool.
posted by Miko at 6:52 PM on October 21, 2012 [3 favorites]

Do you have stairs in your house?
posted by oulipian at 6:55 PM on October 21, 2012 [2 favorites]

We've met before, haven't we.
posted by The Whelk at 7:35 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

You ever seen any peat?
posted by Pudhoho at 3:24 AM on October 22, 2012

Sure. Want a penguin?
posted by flabdablet at 3:36 AM on October 22, 2012

Two blocks down and it's the third on the right. Look for the yellow mailbox.
posted by Miko at 4:46 AM on October 22, 2012

I just put it down over here. Have you see it?
posted by From Bklyn at 4:54 AM on October 22, 2012

If you look into a mirror and say 'mauve' 300 times you will decohere.
posted by Mister_A at 5:56 AM on October 22, 2012 [1 favorite]

This is not the dog you're looking for. Move along now.
posted by philipy at 6:35 AM on October 22, 2012

Wanna buy a duck?
posted by patheral at 9:43 AM on October 22, 2012

It's just over the bridge that used to be painted silver.
posted by Pudhoho at 11:03 AM on October 22, 2012

My dog barks some.

Mentally, you picture my dog, but I have not told you the type of dog which I have.

Perhaps you might even picture Toto from the "Wizard of Oz!

But I can tell you... my dog is always with me.
posted by cmoj at 12:18 PM on October 22, 2012 [1 favorite]

Maybe it's this comment?
posted by alyxstarr at 1:12 PM on October 22, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yes.
posted by Omnomnom at 1:49 PM on October 22, 2012

Yes, that's it! Thank you alyxstarr!
posted by needs more cowbell at 1:53 PM on October 22, 2012

Are you in Europe? Do you need an adapter?
posted by maryr at 2:55 PM on October 22, 2012

Yeah, you got it... time machines.
posted by flabdablet at 3:17 PM on October 22, 2012

As long as it's not with bleu cheese.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:27 AM on October 23, 2012