A MetaFilter Kindness December 29, 2015 8:32 AM   Subscribe

I'd like to call out raccoon409 who, in response to my AskMe, sent me some bourbon balls.

It was fantastic enough to receive bourbon balls in response to my AskMe, but it was even more special because it raised the number of Christmas gifts I got from zero to one. raccoon409 asked only that I pay the gift forward. The beneficiaries of raccoon409 kindness were a STEM program at my high school and a local cat and dog shelter who needed some money toward a generator.
posted by Rob Rockets to MetaFilter-Related at 8:32 AM (49 comments total) 67 users marked this as a favorite

Yay! Up with this kind of thing.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:33 AM on December 29, 2015 [21 favorites]


Aw yay! Awesome kindness, and awesome kindness payed forward. So Metafilter!
posted by ldthomps at 8:34 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


I like this! This is the best kind of holiday story.

Still: Rob Rockets... raccoon409... I cannot help but feel there is a Guardians of the Galaxy joke somewhere in here which I cannot quite find.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:35 AM on December 29, 2015 [8 favorites]


That also broke my brain for a few seconds. (And it takes A LOT to distract my brain from the words "bourbon balls".)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:37 AM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]


Hooray for raccoon409!

For she's a jolly good raccoon!
For she's a jolly good raccoon!
For she's a jolly good raccoon!
How can a raccoon type?
posted by benito.strauss at 8:43 AM on December 29, 2015 [10 favorites]


Wouldn't a racoon wash the rum balls until they dissolved, and therefore be unable to actually send them? I think there are racoon shenanigans going on....

On the other hand, when aren't there, and this is way nicer than knocking over the garbage cans again....
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:55 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yay! Up with this kind of thing.

Seconded! Yay for kindness, and happy callouts, and bourbon balls, which I personally much prefer to rum balls (although to be fair to rum balls I should probably try making them once with better rum than has been historically used in my family).
posted by EvaDestruction at 9:03 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


You know, rum balls are pretty easy to make...
posted by cjorgensen at 9:08 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


I pull focus of this thread away from heroes Rob Rockets and raccoon409 to tell McMikeNamara: "Mike, you are a treasure. Never stop."

Also, the rest of you, never stop with this sort of kindness.
posted by crush-onastick at 9:34 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]


At first, I thought you meant you forwarded the bourbon balls to the STEM students and the dog & cat shelter.... I was thinking, 'maybe high-schoolers are a little young for bourbon balls? And do cats really like them?'
posted by easily confused at 9:40 AM on December 29, 2015 [18 favorites]


What a wonderful occurrence all around!
posted by biggreenplant at 9:42 AM on December 29, 2015


Another reason I love this place! Kindness abounds here.
posted by bearwife at 9:54 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Very cool! Great job, both.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:57 AM on December 29, 2015


This might be a good place to re-thank someone for a similar gifting. Shortly after moving to Florida I was moaning on chat about missing NY bagels. This prompted The Whelk to offer to send me some. And so he did, bagels from Zabar's no less. Thank you again, you finest of sea snails.
posted by Splunge at 10:25 AM on December 29, 2015 [13 favorites]


Wonderful!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:31 AM on December 29, 2015


For she's a jolly good raccoon!
How can a raccoon type?
posted by benito.strauss


Well, raccoons do have hands, so I guess the limiting factor would be writer's block.
posted by workerant at 11:22 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]


I have never eaten a bourbon ball and at first I thought boubon balls was something a young fella got on a Friday or Saturday night similar to whiskey dick. Learn something new everyday.

Great story. Thank you Rockets and racoon.
posted by AugustWest at 11:27 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]


...and a local cat and dog shelter who needed some money toward a generator.

Awww, happiness is a warm puppy. (I remember the bumper sticker.)
posted by puddledork at 11:28 AM on December 29, 2015


Aw, this is so kind! Best (people) of the web!
posted by Fig at 11:37 AM on December 29, 2015


Hey now. Don't diss rum balls. Rum balls are just as awesome as bourbon balls. Definitely wanna use something dark and flavorful. I like Clement rhum agricole (which won't break the bank and is great for sipping neat as well.)
posted by Hairy Lobster at 3:41 PM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Rum balls? Puppy nuggets!
posted by Joseph Gurl at 4:09 PM on December 29, 2015


Rob Rockets... raccoon409... I cannot help but feel there is a Guardians of the Galaxy joke somewhere in here which I cannot quite find.

I am groot.

translation: I love me some bourbon balls.
posted by SpacemanStix at 4:59 PM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


That question was so tasty. I'm glad this happened.
posted by sweetkid at 5:08 PM on December 29, 2015


Donkey patties!
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:33 PM on December 29, 2015


Pony tenders!
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:33 PM on December 29, 2015


Lovely, and how nice that no one gave you recipes when you asked for no recipes. A Christmas Miracle!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:07 PM on December 29, 2015 [40 favorites]


At first, I thought you meant you forwarded the bourbon balls to the STEM students and the dog & cat shelter.... I was thinking, 'maybe high-schoolers are a little young for bourbon balls? And do cats really like them?'

You obviously did not grow up with my family. Well, in terms of underage people having rum balls, not so much the cats. I can't remember a childhood Christmas without rum balls. And we called them "rum balls" even though my mother always made them with bourbon. The enormous tin she sent me freshman year of college made me very popular in my dorm.

My mother also swore by her grandmother's recipe for soothing a child's sore throat, which was tea with honey and bourbon, so my family's assumptions about how much bourbon was appropriate for children may be non-average.
posted by jaguar at 7:43 PM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]


I sure would like to get my mouth around some Schwetty...err... raccoon...err...bourbon balls.
posted by 4ster at 8:16 PM on December 29, 2015


My mother also swore by her grandmother's recipe for soothing a child's sore throat, which was tea with honey and bourbon

Oh, also lemon.
posted by jaguar at 9:03 PM on December 29, 2015 [5 favorites]


My mother also swore by her grandmother's recipe for soothing a child's sore throat, which was tea with honey and bourbon

Oh, also lemon.


My gran's recipe for whatever ails you was a hot buttered rum and an aspirin, repeated as necessary. She lived to 90-odd years...
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:34 PM on December 29, 2015 [5 favorites]


My gran's recipe for whatever ails you was a hot buttered rum and an aspirin, repeated as necessary. She lived to 90-odd years...

My grandmother drank only champagne and in her case I'd change the preposition/punctuation; she lived for 90 odd years. At least, they felt odd to the rest of us.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 5:11 AM on December 30, 2015 [11 favorites]


My own grandmother was a red-wine drinker: "it's good for you!" Yeah, but THAT MUCH, Grandmom?!?
posted by easily confused at 6:19 AM on December 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


Mr. Carmicha's grandmother believed in the medicinal properties of bourbon, but didn't want anyone in her small, churchy Iowa town to know... so she made her son drive to a liquor store located about 15 miles away to restock her supply.
posted by carmicha at 6:39 AM on December 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yeah, but THAT MUCH, Grandmom?!?

The WINE... is the LIFE!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:12 AM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


jaguar: "My mother also swore by her grandmother's recipe for soothing a child's sore throat, which was tea with honey and bourbon, so my family's assumptions about how much bourbon was appropriate for children may be non-average."

Sounds like my grandfather's assumptions about wine. So just right.
posted by Splunge at 8:57 AM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


I appreciate this MeTa for not only showing how awesome people are on here, but also introducing me to the idea of bourbon balls. ooooh.
posted by yueliang at 1:32 PM on December 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


My Mom, who is a great-grandmom, swears by at least 2 glasses of champagne per night. At this rate, she may turn into a lush by age 91....she's 85 and still opinionated.

Oh, and rum cake all the way.
posted by mightshould at 3:52 PM on December 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


....can we get good rum ball recipes in the meta? I'm thinking of trying my hand at them.
posted by Deoridhe at 7:05 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


My mother's recipe (she may have stolen it from somewhere, but the final parenthetical is all her):

RUM BALLS

2 boxes vanilla wafers, crushed
4 T. unsweetened cocoa
2 cups confectioners' sugar
2 cups finely chopped walnuts or pecans
1 1/2 cups light corn syrup
3/4 cup rum (or bourbon)
extra confectioners' sugar

Mix together wafer crumbs, cocoa, powdered sugar, and nuts. Add corn syrup, rum (or bourbon); mix well. Form into 1" balls, roll in extra powdered sugar and set on a piece of waxed paper to firm up. Store in an airtight container. (I always add more rum -- but don't let the mixture get so soggy that you can't roll into balls.)
posted by jaguar at 7:20 PM on December 30, 2015 [9 favorites]


(And the "crushed wafers" and "finely chopped nuts" were always done in the food processor.)
posted by jaguar at 7:22 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Everything about this is chill as hell. Thanks for sharing it.
posted by mintcake! at 9:56 PM on December 30, 2015


Imma let you finish but Don Pepino has been an awesome mailer/pen-pal through a month that was pretty rough.
posted by PMdixon at 1:24 AM on December 31, 2015 [2 favorites]


Many thanks to Rob Rockets, because that AskMe sent me looking for rum ball recipes. I made these with some alterations* and they were fantastic.

*
- 1 cup sugar instead of 1 1/4 cup
- an overflowing 1/4 cup of rum instead of 1/2 cup
- chill after mixing in rum (easier to handle)
- roll in a mixture of cocoa powder, cinnamon and sea salt (approximate proportions 4 : 1 : .5)

There are leftover rum balls hidden in the freezer and now I am having some for breakfast with coffee. Deadline, shmeadline. Rum balls!
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 7:13 AM on December 31, 2015 [2 favorites]


We made chocolate balls when we were living in Australia, and our neighbors raved about the rum balls we made.

Ingredients:

- cocoa powder
- cream
- powdered sugar

Add each to taste, roll into balls. Roll in cocoa powder. Store in fridge. Enjoy.
posted by aniola at 10:56 AM on December 31, 2015


Well, raccoons do have hands, so I guess the limiting factor would be writer's block


No, it's that there's no Mavis Beacon for raccoons. You silly!

My own grandmother was a red-wine drinker: "it's good for you!" Yeah, but THAT MUCH, Grandmom?!?

You respect your grandmom! She grand-gave-birth-to-you!
posted by discopolo at 11:45 PM on January 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


All this talk of bourbon and rum balls reminds me of a venerable tradition in my family: at some point during the holiday swirl, a small child will eat too many of them. Sometimes hilarity ensues. Sometimes hurling ensues. And sometimes both.
posted by carmicha at 8:17 AM on January 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


Next time, try these ones shipped from Kentucky, they're the best.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:22 AM on January 3, 2016


Heh, carmicha. When I were a lad, my best friend and I (and a couple other kids) used to work in the school's office at recess and lunch so the secretaries could have breaks. He and I had it the best, because we worked Fridays, which was the day all the teachers would potluck various baked goods to celebrate the end of the week, and the secretaries would always bring us noms.

One week there were rum balls. I guess nobody paused to think, or all the staff knew his parents and mine professionally as well as personally, or maybe it was just the 80s. In any case, we were buzzed as fuck for the rest of the day and it was glorious.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:39 AM on January 3, 2016


Ah, rum/bourbon balls. They were the only Christmas "cookie" my little sister and I were allowed to help make. The giant yellow Tupperware bowl full of pulverized Nilla wafers, nuts, cocoa powder, and a can of condensed milk. To which my Mom would add several generous glugs of whatever hard booze she grabbed from the pantry (sometimes Dad's single-malt scotch — until he croaked "STOP!" in dismay and managed to hand her the bottle of Jack in exchange). Our job was to form them into balls, roll them around in a pie plate full of powdered sugar, and individually wrap them in little squares of foil. After a while, our palms would go numb from the booze. They were the best. I should make some next year. Hell, I should make some for next game night.
posted by mon-ma-tron at 6:05 PM on January 17, 2016


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