Fuckin' duvet covers: how do they work?

November 30, 2016 7:27 PM

This thread on AskMefi is BLOWING MY MIND.

There seem to be two camps:

1) Duvet cover + fitted sheet. (Wash duvet cover regularly?)
2) Duvet cover + flat sheet + fitted sheet. (Wash sheet set regularly. Wash duvet cover less regularly.)

Is this an America vs. Europe thing? Is this a regional thing? Or is this more idiosyncratic, like family habits passed through generations? WHERE DO YOU STAND, MEFITES?

(I'm in camp 2.)

posted by whimsicalnymph to MetaFilter-Related at 7:27 PM (350 comments total)

I would just like to say that I am correct and everyone else in that thread is wrong.

(I did not go to debutante camp for nothing, people.)
posted by DarlingBri at 7:31 PM on November 30, 2016 [30 favorites]

CAMP ONE REPRESENT!
posted by thatone at 7:36 PM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

I am in camp 2 but know plenty of people in camp 1.

I'm just mystified that anyone actually wants their sheets to match their duvet cover.
posted by olinerd at 7:36 PM on November 30, 2016 [6 favorites]

A duvet is just a comforter with a cover on it, right? Is there any other difference between the two?
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:37 PM on November 30, 2016 [8 favorites]

Those kinds of threads always make me laugh because people tend to speak in such absolutes -- this is how one does things, not that other way which is wrong.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:38 PM on November 30, 2016 [16 favorites]

I literally sweat at night so consistently and profusely that Web MD TOLD ME I HAD HIV; as it turned out I needed to stop using a duvet and start using a lightweight coverlet instead. So now I am in Camp Fitted Sheet, Top Sheet, Lightweight Blanket, Haven't Sweat at Night in Literally Five Years.
posted by kate blank at 7:45 PM on November 30, 2016 [22 favorites]

We had a
little red duvet
Maybe it washed to fast.
posted by clavdivs at 7:47 PM on November 30, 2016 [43 favorites]

After having used duvet covers for many years I can now only think they're terrible. It's way too much of a pain in the ass getting that thing on and off more than once a month - now I'm all about a top sheet. The key is that you have to get the top sheet tucked into the mattress so it stays in place. Now I have nice clean sheets every week or so. I honestly don't know what the heck I was doing messing around with duvets so long. I think it's because I could only find nice looking duvets at IKEA and there were no nice looking comforters back then.
posted by bleep at 7:48 PM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

in the US duvet covers are still considered newfangled

Why?
posted by jeather at 8:00 PM on November 30, 2016

i think it's because most americans are stupid and bad but ymmv
posted by poffin boffin at 8:05 PM on November 30, 2016 [45 favorites]

Fitted sheet, top sheet, lightweight blanket, comforter, and occasionally two cats. Does everyone maintain a steady body temperature at night and thus have no need to tweak the blanket situation? Even if I don't have cats around, I find I'll randomly overheat or get very chilled and need to adjust.
posted by ghost phoneme at 8:06 PM on November 30, 2016 [10 favorites]

Loathe top sheets. Have NO issue washing the duvet cover once a week. Though in the late summer we do just use the cover without the duvet. So I guess in the summer we basically have a double top sheet?

But the idea of buying sheets in sets confuses me. We just order random stuff from Company Store that looks like it will hold up to us + random pet zoo.
posted by hilaryjade at 8:08 PM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]

Camp 2, but I learned from Camp 1ers and see the logic just fine. Habit at this point.

I use a flat sheet under my duvet, but I also use a flat sheet instead of a fitted sheet on the mattress. Used to have severe lower back pain, and wrestling the duvet cover on and off, as well as removing the fitted sheet once a week for washing, was more than I could manage sometimes. So now I just roll back my covered duvet, yank off both sheets, and toss them in the hamper.

Now this is when the weather is temperate. Currently I have: a flat sheet beneath, topped with a flat sheet, a thin fleece, another sheet, a puffy faux-down blanket, a crocheted wool blanket, the duvet, and a flannel blanket. On really cold nights I sometimes add an interstitial layer of towels, or an area rug. It's easier than finding an affordable apartment with a landlord who believes in adequate heating, apparently.
posted by notquitemaryann at 8:09 PM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

I converted to Euro-style no top sheet after the first time this was debated on Metafilter in 2005. Never going back. Top sheets are useless.
posted by MsMolly at 8:11 PM on November 30, 2016 [17 favorites]

Camp 1. It is so much easier to make up my bed without a top sheet. I just straighten up the duvet and I'm good to go. I wash everything (duvet cover, fitted sheet, pillow cases) weekly.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:18 PM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

Two in the winter, one in the summer. Now I wonder if I've been duvetiting all wrong.
posted by -t at 8:18 PM on November 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

top sheets are great when you decide you want more than 2 pillowcases that match your fitted sheet though. you have all that extra fabric now.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:18 PM on November 30, 2016

I converted to Euro-style no top sheet after the first time this was debated on Metafilter in 2005. Never going back. Top sheets are useless.

Even in summer? If I slept under a duvet in summer I would sweat myself into a dehydration migraine every night
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:19 PM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

i can't believe i had to watch a potato sack race on youtube
posted by poffin boffin at 8:23 PM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]

A duvet is just a comforter with a cover on it, right?

Comforters were built much tougher than duvets in my house, as they were put on the bed with no cover at all, like a big puffy blanket (over a top sheet ofc). They were made with tough fabrics, and often quite decorative, including embroidery work. Comforters might be folded during the day, or hung on an airing rack or they might be put on top of a bedspread.

Duvets, on the other hand, are meant to live life covered, and are made with material that would wear out and get soiled very quickly if used bare. Duvet covers are made of the same material used for flat sheets, but often patterned or attractive fabric patterns as they're used instead of a bedspread. As temperature changes you might change duvets. We have a light summer and a heavier winter one.
posted by bonehead at 8:25 PM on November 30, 2016 [8 favorites]

If I slept under a duvet in summer I would sweat myself into a dehydration migraine every night

On those nights we just use the duvet cover itself, no duvet.
posted by bonehead at 8:28 PM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh I knew that the type of blankety thing that goes inside a duvet cover is different from the type of blankety thing that doesn't, but once a duvet is covered, it is (I thought) functionally the exact same thing as a comforter.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:29 PM on November 30, 2016 [6 favorites]

Now I have nice clean sheets every week or so.

I realized a while back that the sheets are to keep our skin, sweat, body oils and dead skin cells from the mattress and comforter/blanket.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:29 PM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]

On those nights we just use the duvet cover itself, no duvet.

Huh! Mine has button closures on both ends - covered by a placket, so they don't bother me when the duvet is stuffed, but if I tried to sleep under it empty I think it would be super annoying. Do Euro-style ones not have that? Or is it just less annoying than I've been thinking?
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:31 PM on November 30, 2016

Ours just have snap closures at the foot. None at the top. Never bothered me, nor has my partner ever mentioned it.
posted by bonehead at 8:35 PM on November 30, 2016

These threads are the best. They make identifying who needs a come to Jesus talk about their bedding/showering/sitting/standing/etc priorities ASAP so much easier.
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:39 PM on November 30, 2016 [14 favorites]

it is (I thought) functionally the exact same thing as a comforter.

Leaving aside that duvets are covered in fresh sheets and smell nice and are warm and comforters are oily and gross and cold, sure, sure I could see that.

Note that however, a duvet replaces a bedspread as well. Making the bed in the morning is as difficult as picking it up, giving it a good shake and floating it back on the bed. This process has the added advantage of greatly amusing its feline users too.
posted by bonehead at 8:39 PM on November 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

Leaving aside that duvets are covered in fresh sheets and smell nice and are warm and comforters are oily and gross and cold, sure, sure I could see that.

Them's fighting words, right there. (ง •̀_•́)ง
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:40 PM on November 30, 2016 [10 favorites]

Note that however, a duvet replaces a bedspread as well.

Like, a bedspread as in a blanket aside from the comforter? I've never had anything like that, I always just used a comforter over a sheet before I got a duvet.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:44 PM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

I became a convert to the duvet-no-top-sheet in Sweden, in part because that gives you maximum self-burritoing capabilities. I still love the feel of the duvet wrapped around my feet. In the late 80s, when I came back, it was so difficult to find duvet covers in Texas that my mom made me one from sheets so I could keep doing it.

But then I got older and I got cats, which meant that their grit and dirt would easily roll off the duvet and leave me sleeping in their detritus, and I switched back to top sheet - well tucked. And then I got a husband and dogs, enormous dogs, so that now we have dual overlapping sheets and blankets - my sheet is tucked, my blanket is light, his sheet is untucked and his blanket is heavy down - because dogs will lay down in the middle and make it so you don't have enough covers to cover your ass if you try to use one King sheet and blanket.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:44 PM on November 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

Now I have nice clean sheets every week or so.

I realized a while back that the sheets are to keep our skin, sweat, body oils and dead skin cells from the mattress and comforter/blanket.

Not sure if this is implying that I don't know that but this was imprinted on me early. In addition to my mom knowing what was up as a nurse, I had a biology teacher in 10th grade who talked alot about how important it is to wash things in bleach - "bleach kills living organisms, and living organisms are in your sheets, feeding off your dead & decaying flesh - wash your sheets in bleach, y'all." So yeah, I wash my sheets early & often. In bleach. Undies too.
posted by bleep at 8:53 PM on November 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Camp 2, because I sweat buckets and wash the sheets sometimes twice a week.

So now that that's settled, do you say "doovay" or "doovit"?
posted by scratch at 8:58 PM on November 30, 2016

Even in summer? If I slept under a duvet in summer I would sweat myself into a dehydration migraine every night

I live in Texas where air conditioning in the summer is not optional, so yes.
posted by MsMolly at 9:05 PM on November 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Maybe it's changed but all the duvets for sale in US department stores seem to be super warm goose down. Even the thinner "summer" duvets. Down is just too hot for me.

But I guess some people just use empty duvet covers in the summer?
posted by mullacc at 9:28 PM on November 30, 2016

When duvet covers first made it to my awareness, I did 2), because I felt (not thought) that the duvet (with cover) and I needed protection from each other, via a sheet, as is necessary with mere blankets (which I grew up with). Because the duvet cover felt like *part of* the duvet. Going sheetless under a duvet just *felt* wrong. Then, I forced myself to realize that a duvet cover is just a sheet, but with another sheet stuck to it. And that since I was washing everything weekly anyway, it was all fine. So flipped to 1).

Now, like right now, I'm at *just* a fitted sheet + top sheet + (cotton) bedspread. (Plus air con, though in Canada, because of old radiators. In case anyone wondered.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 9:38 PM on November 30, 2016

I used to do a top sheet and a king duvet on my full-size bed, but I have since seen the light:

It's so much easier to do a fitted sheet and then a twin-size duvet set lengthwise across the bed. Too hot? Stick yer feet out. Not warm enough? Curl up like a kitten under a blanket. I have never slept so happily as I do now.

And the twin size is super easy to take the cover on and off for washing. Should I ever have to share a bed again, it'll be two twin duvets side by side, like they have in hotels overseas.
posted by mochapickle at 9:45 PM on November 30, 2016

We're camp 2 if only because my spouse needs to have the sheet tucked in.
posted by Mitheral at 9:50 PM on November 30, 2016

do you say "doovay" or "doovit"?
Let me check with my valet
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 10:05 PM on November 30, 2016 [26 favorites]

> so much easier to make up my bed

Well, there's your problem!

We cannot have no-top sheet because there are cats look here's one in this household who like to sleep under the covers but not right next to a human. For these cats, the preferred order is: human/sheet/light blanket/cat/heavier blanket/possibly also fluffy blanket the cat likes to knead when not under the covers.
posted by rtha at 10:09 PM on November 30, 2016 [22 favorites]

I hate tucked in sheets -- I'm not quite tall enough to overhang the mattress, but my feet definitely go down to the end of the bed and tucked in bedding (like they do in most hotels) doesn't provide comfortable foot space at the tucked in end.

Relatedly, I use a king-size duvet on a queen-size bed, which means there is a luxurious amount of duvet, rather than simply adequate.
posted by Dip Flash at 10:09 PM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]

I am tall and have difficulty falling asleep if I'm not on my back. Tucked in sheets just don't work for me.
posted by Candleman at 10:17 PM on November 30, 2016

Top sheets are a kinetic sink. They buffer the constant tossing and turning on the part of those who sleep the Sleep of the Damned and prevent the blanket or comforter from bunching or falling off the bed as a result. I envy the relatively untortured psyches that can get by with method number one.
posted by invitapriore at 10:21 PM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

They also offer an intermediate warmth level for those whose feetsies get distractingly toasty in the night, but not so toasty that they want to be exposed directly to the frugally-heated and therefore ultimately pretty cold wintertime apartment air, but that didn't sound as dramatic
posted by invitapriore at 10:25 PM on November 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

> so much easier to make up my bed

Well, there's your problem!

I see that rtha and I are in Camp 3: why the hell would you make the bed? Do you tie your shoes after you take them off?*


*thank you, Jim Gaffigan, for a good rationalization
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:36 PM on November 30, 2016 [27 favorites]

wash thy self
posted by philip-random at 12:03 AM on December 1, 2016

Amerian here. I don't use a top sheet - I hate the feeling. But I use 1 to 2 thin blankets with the comforter/duvet on top. Though I recently took off the duvet cover because it was getting crazy tangled and I was tired of it.

My husband uses a top sheet with approximately 1 to 20000 other blankets. (Top sheet, thin blanket, thin coverlet, top comforter no duvet cover.)

Things that touch us directly get washed more often.

Also, never tuck in sheets. You must become a fully encapsulated burrito but with a tiny face-hole in the blanket mountain to access oxygen.
posted by Crystalinne at 1:09 AM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

Duvet schmuvet. It's called a doona.
posted by deadwax at 2:26 AM on December 1, 2016 [12 favorites]

I'm from a hot clime with unreliable air conditioning. In this environment the best thing in the world is a cold shower followed by bed with pure cotton sheets underneath and a silk sheet on top. When making your bed you fold it neatly and put it at the foot of the bed. When going to bed, fling it over yourself like a tablecloth so it rests lightly on you with minimal tucks and folds. No duvet unless you have a deathwish. And each person has their own sheet. You really, really don't want to snuggle in the heat.

Of course if it's June and there hasn't been electricity for hours and you have to go to school in the morning all you can do is lie spreadeagled across your bed with even your toes spread out, nothing on top of you, longing only for death or your morning cold shower, whichever comes first.
posted by tavegyl at 2:28 AM on December 1, 2016 [12 favorites]

What's a duvet?
posted by fixedgear at 2:51 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I seriously read that thread (and this one) and I don't even understand the terminology enough to have any idea which group I fall into.

My bed has, starting at the bottom: a fitted sheet, followed by my wife and I, followed by a non-fitted sheet, followed by something we call a "blanket" or "bedspread". I don't know what a duvet is or what a duvet cover is. Some kind of blanket that is so hideously ugly that you have to hide it inside a sheet? The mind boggles.

Somehow my wife and I both agreed that this was the common way to make a bed when we got married so we must both be insane.
posted by mmoncur at 3:03 AM on December 1, 2016 [11 favorites]

I was raised fitted sheet, top sheet, blanket (s) and so always, always used top sheets because only disgusting people had skin contact with blankets, apparently. I moved on to fitted sheet, top sheet, doona in adulthood but top sheets just get all tangled up and grrr. So I am team fitted sheet and doona for life.

I am in humid hot Oz with no air con and I love my down doona because in summer it stays cool and in winter I snap its twin on and then I am toasty warm.

One cat goes on top of the doona (on my feet) and the other has trained me to lift up a bit so she can crawl under and curl up under my arm against my side. Apparently I do this in my sleep as I often wake to find myself spooning with the cat (winter only, they do not need me when the room temp is above frickin' cold)
posted by kitten magic at 3:15 AM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

mmoncur, a duvet is like a bed sized thin squishy pillow in that the squishy stuff (down, nylons fibre, wool, whatever) is encased with a plain white cover and then you cover that with the duvet cover which is like a bed sized pillowcase.

The naked duvet has cross cross sewing (quilting?) so that all the stuffing stays in place because otherwise you have a terrible situation where all the puffy warm bits are at the bottom and by your chin and arms it is thin and cold. Blankets are the same thickness all through but not puffy and that makes me sad because you cannot burrito successfully and it is not like sleeping on clouds.
posted by kitten magic at 3:21 AM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

Wait, there are people in this world who use a top sheet but DON'T tuck it in at the bottom of the bed? But...how do you pull it up around you without making a mess? How do you make sure all parties have equal access to bedding and not just have one guilty party steal all the sheets to make a rats nest burrito of blankets?

Like, I can understand why someone would hate a top sheet if it was left untucked...but why would you ever do that?

Tuck the top sheet people!
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 3:21 AM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

I read that description, and I still don't know what a duvet is!
posted by thelonius at 3:41 AM on December 1, 2016

How do you make sure all parties have equal access to bedding and not just have one guilty party steal all the sheets to make a rats nest burrito of blankets?

First of all this is solved by never sharing blankets. Ever. * exception for couch snuggles

Second - tucked means you can't wrap the blankets under your feets for full burrito potential. Gotta wrap those feets.
posted by Crystalinne at 4:16 AM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

It is critically important to have one foot burritoed in the blankets and the other stuck out in the open air. This is how you maintain body temperature while also appeasing the monsters under the bed. Were you all raised by wolves in a barn?

(In our house I have full control of all bedding decisions. This frees up our time to fight about whether wearing socks to sleep is right or wrong. )
posted by Stacey at 4:35 AM on December 1, 2016 [28 favorites]

1. I have Serious Sleep Neuroses.
2. Fitted sheet on bottom, no flat sheet, comforter/blanket that I have had since college that is seriously the most well-made thing I have ever owned in my life; it still looks practically new after having it for *mumble* years with at least twice-weekly washings (see: allergic to pretty much everything). If we travel by car, my pillows (2) and comforter go with us and into the hotel if I want to have any chance at sleep at all. Hoteling a plane ride away makes for a very tired vacation for me. In winter, add a quilt that was made by my grandmother.
3. Husband sleeps on the far side of the king-sized bed OR, in a development that is actually working out SO WELL that it has pretty much become permanent, husband sleeps in spare bedroom so my Serious Sleep Neuroses don't interfere. Even when he is in my bed, though, no blanket sharing because what am I, a sharer?
4. I don't make the bed. Ever. No one comes into my room except me, husband, and kids. I literally see no point in it, I was forced to do so as a child and refuse to do so now. When I'm ready for bed, I shake out the blankets and spread them evenly and then dive in.
5. No animals share the bed, either. See: Serious Sleep Neuroses.

Yes, it is exhausting being me. Yes, I have talked to someone about the Serious Sleep Neuroses, which necessitates white noise, blackout curtains, and absolute silence from the house when falling asleep. Ask me how it went when my kids were babies....
posted by cooker girl at 4:40 AM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

This is like shoes on vs. shoes off or sitters vs. standers, isn't it?
posted by rabbitrabbit at 4:57 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Related: Anthea Turner puts on a duvet.
posted by Wordshore at 5:01 AM on December 1, 2016

Definitely Camp One - here in the UK I think it's pretty much the default. At the moment it's pretty cold so my bed is currently:

Blanket
Dog
Duvet
Me
Fitted Sheet
Mattress

And unless you have short arms and a giant bed, putting on a duvet cover really isn't that difficult. Put the far corners in, shake, put the near corners in, shake more, button it up.
posted by A Robot Ninja at 5:05 AM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

Also, I have different duvets for summer and winter. The winter one is squishy and perfect for bed-burrito-ing; the summer one is so thin it's really just one step warmer than putting an empty duvet cover on the bed.
posted by A Robot Ninja at 5:09 AM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

Fitted sheet
Top sheet
Duvet cover
Duvet
Comforter
Blanket
Shrink wrap
Bubble wrap
Cardboard
Bubble wrap
Wooden crate
Pallet
Hyperbaric chamber
ratcheting tie-down straps
ISO 6346 series 1 intermodal shipping container, 6m
Kenworth
Armed leading and following motor escort
posted by ardgedee at 5:23 AM on December 1, 2016 [57 favorites]

why the hell would you make the bed?

Truth. But I am in the 25-lbs-of-blankets camp so just making the bed is an upper body workout for me. Top layer is a duvet inside a cover but then there's more blankets and stuff under it. I have a top sheet under all that and if it's not tucked in at the bottom I get the fidgets.

I had an amusing social media interaction with Starwood/Sheraton after I noticed that the bottom sheet on my bed wasn't fitted (it was late at night and I was just curious about the situation). The people from Twitter called the hotel who called me and were like "Uh, we got a call from the Starwood social media folks? We don't HAVE fitted bottom sheets in this hotel" After some chitchat with other folks about this on facebook, I guess this is sort of normal in hotels, even decently nice ones.

My SO has feel that seem specially made for churning up sheets and blankets into unrecognizeable forms. We do not live together.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 5:37 AM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

I read that description, and I still don't know what a duvet is!

OK, so you know those puffy comforters that they have on hotel beds? Like this one? That's a duvet. Then, like a pillow, you put it inside a case that's closed on 3 sides and open on one - that's a duvet cover. Anytime you want a different visual style or material, you don't have to rebuy the down filling, you just buy a new cover. Or if you want a heavier weight blanket, you just get a heavier weight duvet and can keep the same duvet cover. Also you only have to wash the duvet cover and not drag the whole damn comforter down to the laundromat.

We have a topsheet, a duvet, AND some blankets on our bed, for maximum sleep options in every season.
posted by muddgirl at 5:42 AM on December 1, 2016

- Mattress cover/protector (keeps sweat/grossness off the actual mattress)
- standard fitted sheet
- duvet cover, within which you can find 1 of three seasonal options: 1. down insert for cold 2. top sheet INSIDE duvet cover(when it's getting chillier in sept and you don't want full on warm burrito, and then 3. just duvet cover for a very hot NYC summer.
- optional blanket (for when you are sick and everything is terrible. and a warm duvet is just not enough to ward off everything being terrible)

We change the duvet cover and sheets every 1.5-2 weeks or if someone is sick/overly sweaty, which probably makes us gross, but we don't have laundry in house, and it's a hassle to take everything a few blocks over to the Laundromat.

we also have a twinsized duvet per person, which allows for a nice compromise between those who burrito and steal all the blankets and those who prefer to not fight over blankets all night and they are different colors, so if someone ends up with the wrong duvet, the blanket stealer can be justly accused of their crimes.
posted by larthegreat at 5:43 AM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

I am in Camp Doona with top sheet for most of the year. In Sprinter and Sprummer*, and sometimes in Autumn, I have a multi-layered approach which well suits the changeable Melbourne climate: I have a top sheet, a doona and a light cotton blanket or bedspread. One of these layers is folded in half on the side of the bed I don't sleep on. If it gets too hot with the doona, I shove it aside and pull over the lighter blanket. If it gets too cold with the light blanket, I shove it aside and pull over the warmer doona.

For winter I have the Doona of Extreme Warmth which put paid to my flannel sheets when I got it - it is too gaspingly hot. In fact, this past winter I was convinced I was undergoing the night sweats of menopause until I had the brilliant thought that perhaps the Doona was Too Extremely Warm and swapped it for my ancient comforter (which I have had since high school and is so discoloured that I put it in a doona cover; I cannot throw it out because it has sentimental value and besides, it's still good!). My night sweats miraculously stopped! I think perhaps I should donate the Doona of Extreme Warmth to one of my cold-blooded friends.

I loathe the top sheet tucked in because then my feet are either floating in cavernous cold instead of tucked up warmly, or, in summertime, trapped inside the tent of sweaty doom instead of able to stick out nice and cool. It is not particularly difficult to keep it where it belongs, and means making the bed is much simpler.

*"Sprinter" and "Sprummer" are the two seasons in between winter and summer, of course. See here.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:46 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

I feel like i finally understand why couples eventually end up sleeping in two twin beds in the same room. My SO puts up with my insistence on the correct way to make a bed (fitted sheet, top sheet tucked in, fuzzy blanket, duvet - his preference? A pile of chaos.) but destroys it by morning. He is a diagonally-sleeping-starfish that hates the glorious tucked-in-ness and furiously untucks his side so his feet can stick out the bottom (omgwhy!?). Thruout the night he constantly rolls to my tucked in side after destroying his, and all the bedding slowly slides over so that by morning it is a heap on the floor except for my little anchored tucked corner. And somehow i get in trouble for "stealing all the covers."
posted by danapiper at 5:48 AM on December 1, 2016 [10 favorites]

I'm a proud member of Team Untucked Top Sheet and Blanket. Also Team Unmade Bed. I like to wrap the base of the blanket around under my feet and hang my feet off the bottom edge of the mattress. Every once in a while we need to rearrange, but mostly the top sheet and fuzzy blanket do the right thing and stay approximately oriented and together.

I've slept with duvet covered duvet and no top sheet and it always strikes me as slightly weird and I sometimes have a bit of trouble finding the right temperature adjustment during the night but I'm sure if I was doing it more regularly I'd be fine.

So, uh, stupid duvet question: isn't it a pain in the ass getting the duvet in and out of the cover? With pillowcases, I can hold it up and sort of shake everything to get a partly-inserted pillow to settle correctly.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:48 AM on December 1, 2016

It just occurred to me that I could buy a duvet cover for my comforter, which I distinctly remember buying at Benetton in the mall but Benetton didn't sell anything but clothes, right? Anyway, my comforter is very much of the late 1980s (read: so, so not cute) and maybe I should get a cover for it?

But I kind of hate duvet covers because there's that one side that's open, right? It doesn't close? At least that's the way it is in hotels and they always put the not-closed side on the top of the bed (as opposed to the bottom where the feets go) and it always gets super wonky by the end of the night because for heaven's sake, I don't sleep like a corpse, I sleep like a person beset by Serious Sleep Neurosis who is fighting zombies and running marathons in her sleep.

I guess I could put the non-closing part on the bottom of the bed?
posted by cooker girl at 5:54 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

The open end at the foot of the bed is the usual arrangement over here, and also most non-hotel duvet covers have buttons or press-fit closers at the end. The only cover I have which doesn't is a cheap set from IKEA.
posted by A Robot Ninja at 5:56 AM on December 1, 2016

cooker girl, that's exactly what I have done with my comforter, which I've had since the 80s as well. It was pretty once but the cream parts are kinda greyish now. Nicer to have it in the doona cover. And yes, most doona/duvet covers have snaps or buttons or fancy ties or something at the bottom to keep the doona from falling out. It works fine.
posted by Athanassiel at 6:00 AM on December 1, 2016

Fitted sheet (called "contour sheet" in my youth), flat sheet, blanket(s), bedspread. Because I am too old for these newfangled ways.
posted by JanetLand at 6:03 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I was thirty before I learned that Americans don't use duvet covers (and some have never seen a duvet!)
I was mind boggling to me.

I think I would hate having a sheet between me and the blanket/duvet/spread, because wouldn't the topmost thing always slide about on the top sheet and slip off?
posted by Omnomnom at 6:04 AM on December 1, 2016

Camp 1. We have a winter weight and a summer weight duvet. My winter weight duvet was purchased in 1989 when I went to university and I may replace it this year just because it's losing its fluffy qualities, but it has survived 8 moves, university, 4 rounds of redecorating, a German shepherd, 2 children and 5 cats. Not all the covers did although the university cover is around as a backup. You can get covers that zip/snap/tie. In summer I wash the cover every week and in winter every other.

My boys are in camp 1 too and we were musing that they do not have the skill set to tuck corners in as a result...oh well!
posted by warriorqueen at 6:06 AM on December 1, 2016

Previously
posted by 1970s Antihero at 6:06 AM on December 1, 2016

I switched to no flat sheet because of Metafilter, ages ago. I am kind of a thrashy sleeper. It was a revelation of actually being able to keep my covers on at night and fix them easily if I throw them off--no waking up fully as I attempt to rearrange several layers. I grew up as a top sheet-blanket-quilt person and I think that's perfectly comfortable temperature-wise but results in a giant tangle by morning. The duvet still gets a bit rearranged, but the important part is that if it's chilly, I still wake up to being fully underneath it.
posted by Sequence at 6:16 AM on December 1, 2016

The weirdest thing about this whole discussion is that people are shocked when they learn that other people Do Things Differently. Do you wash your dishes with a washcloth or a sponge or a brush? GASP YOU HEATHEN
posted by Plutor at 6:27 AM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

Do you wash your dishes with a washcloth or a sponge or a brush?

For what it's worth, I have seen actual heated discussions about this on Ravelry. And while that is certainly goofy as fuck, I was eventually converted from a sponge person to a dishcloth person, and now I disdain sponge-washers with the zeal of the converted. Well, ok, I don't, but I definitely prefer dishcloths now that I've tried them.

The duvet and no-top-sheet thing is just purely a function of laziness and chore-preference for me, though. I don't mind doing laundry, feel better about life in general when I make up my bed every morning, and don't like tucking in sheets. I don't think it's a superior way to do bed linens. It's just the way that works best for my particular preferences.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:48 AM on December 1, 2016

I have used a duvet + cover but realised that it does not allow for enough blanket choice and also I am way too lazy to keep removing the duvet to wash it, so I do "fitted sheet + flat sheet the first night or two before I kick it off the bed + somewhere between 1-5 washable blankets of varying weight depending on the weather and my health".
posted by jeather at 6:49 AM on December 1, 2016

As anyone who can remember when these things arrived in the UK will tell you, the correct term for a duvet is a 'continental quilt'. Sounds faintly geological, I always think. British people were overjoyed at being liberated from scratchy old wool blankets, and I don't think it's entirely unconnected that we went on to join the EU. No doubt they'll be wanting their duvets back at some point.

Any time I've had to sleep under any kind of blanket/top sheet combo, the result has inevitably involved waking up several times in the night to find the sheet knotted around my knees and the blanket halfway to the next room. It's probably because I don't have any livestock to keep it weighed down with, which seems to be the preferred strategy.
posted by pipeski at 6:54 AM on December 1, 2016 [11 favorites]

British people were overjoyed at being liberated from scratchy old wool blankets, and I don't think it's entirely unconnected that we went on to join the EU.

My new million dollar/pound/euro idea for 2016: The Brexit Blanket!
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:55 AM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

What's a duvet?
posted by cjorgensen at 7:12 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

This debate would make more sense to Americans if they realized that Oslo is north of Juneau and Paris is north of the Canadian border. London is north of Calgary. Yes, the climates are not the same due to ocean currents, but you really can't compare sleeping without a top sheet in Texas or California to sleeping without one in Europe.
posted by AFABulous at 7:18 AM on December 1, 2016 [10 favorites]

What's a duvet?

An annoying heavy thing that makes me sweat just thinking about it. And I'm allergic to feathers so they usually make me sick as well.

Handmade quilts FTW.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:45 AM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

You get two sheets. Every Saturday, you put the clean sheet on the top, the top sheet on the bottom, and the bottom sheet you turn in to the laundry boy. Any man turning in the wrong sheet spends a night in the box.
posted by Melismata at 8:10 AM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

What's a sheet?
posted by pipeski at 8:10 AM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

What's sleep?
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:14 AM on December 1, 2016 [21 favorites]

Has anyone else on here ever had to shower (facing if you must ask) while wearing a duvet cover because reasons?
posted by Wordshore at 8:15 AM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

Camp 1. Unequivocally (my parents were European, if it matters). Brought up my two sons as Camp 1s; that method of rest and recreation is Right, Good, and Proper. A few weeks ago we spent a weekend in a son and daughter-in-law's new home. I was a little bit heart-broken to see that my son has followed his wife into Camp 2. This felt like a more complete separation than when he left home in the first place.
posted by angiep at 8:19 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Camp 2. We use a fitted sheet, a top sheet, 6 months of the year a fleece blanket, then a duvet. On top of the duvet are four smaller blankets which live life folded up on the foot of the bed but get pulled up and over as needed. I was surprised by the comments that the duvet cover is made of sheet material. None of ours are that thin - more like 4x sheet thickness.

But bed made or unmade? I think making the bed is a waste of time and Mrs Wreckage thinks that's barbaric because we're proper adults. So we go with made bed, sheets and fleece all tightly tucked in. But I'm about a foot longer than the bed so every night I kick the sheets out of their tuck which isn't good for the sheets and it's a tiny little fit of rage each time.

Now I'm confused on the difference between a bedspread and a comforter. I thought they were synonymous.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 8:26 AM on December 1, 2016

Maybe it's because, as a Canadian, I'm used to straddling "American" and "British" ways of doing things, but these kinds of discussions just seem so silly to me.

Beyond basic questions of hygiene (do you wash your sheets?), this seems like such a purely personal decision that I can't understand why anyone is surprised that other people do it differently.

I mean, at Chez Motion, we are anywhere between Camp 1, Camp 2, or Camp 2.5 (fitted +flat+empty duvet cover) at any given point in the year. Sometimes, there's one or more blankets in the mix. The decision for the next week or so gets made went the sheets get changed out.

Like maybe one method or another might be able to result in less sheet washing for equivalent levels of hygiene, but I'm not going to judge people for chores they choose to do. As long as you include a washable layer between human flesh and unwashables (mattress, fairy dust woven blankets), you're fine in my book.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:28 AM on December 1, 2016 [8 favorites]

White fitted sheet, white duvet cover, white duvet, white pillowcases. I don't even take the duvet out of the cover to wash it! With bleach! SO CLEAN. SO COZY.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:58 AM on December 1, 2016

In my case, I don't use Duvet covers. I find them the worlds most annoying thing. Things get bunched up. It's heavy. Bleh.

I have flat sheet + woven blanket + fleece blanket.

Camp NONE OF THE ABOVE
posted by INFJ at 9:01 AM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

That's the weirdest conversation in English that I literally don't understand. Duvet? Top Sheet? Fitted Sheet?

We call the 'fitted sheet' the "bottom sheet", then there's the "top sheet" and then a 'blanket' or heavy 'comforter' for winter weather. Sometimes the 'blanket' gets tossed on the floor in the summer, so we just sleep with 'sheets'.

Our way is the best way.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:01 AM on December 1, 2016 [9 favorites]

I think of "bottom sheet" as a description of any sheet that's intended to go between the human(s) and the mattress, while "fitted sheet" refers to a particularly shape of sheet used as a bottom sheet that's got elastic corners and is specifically made to be put on a mattress (as opposed to doing hospital corners on a flat sheet).
posted by rmd1023 at 9:04 AM on December 1, 2016

Is this a class thing where 'blankets' are looked down upon, so there's a 'duvet' instead, performing the same function?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:05 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

there are people in this world who use a top sheet but DON'T tuck it in at the bottom of the bed?

Tall people don't like having their feet twisted into circulation-blocking joint-rending positions. À chacun son goût.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:14 AM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

MetaFilter: the weirdest conversation in English that I literally don't understand
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:14 AM on December 1, 2016 [11 favorites]

In the US, duvets definitely have some Euro cache. But it's mostly a laziness thing, where we've figured out a hack to simplify our morning routines.

Which brings me to the related issue of decorative pillows. I just got back from Thanksgiving at my parents' house, and there are like seven decorative pillows on the bed in their guest room, which must be stacked in the proper decorative configuration. Why do people do that? What is the point?
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:19 AM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

Is this a class thing where 'blankets' are looked down upon, so there's a 'duvet' instead, performing the same function?

A blanket and a duvet are two different things. Blankets are generally a woven, fleece, or knit material in one layer. A duvet has a quilted interior and made up of several layers, thus a single duvet is warmer than a single blanket. But a blanket is lighter and more portable. For people who make the bed, having 3 or 4 layers of blankets is more difficult than a single duvet.
posted by muddgirl at 9:20 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

(I never make the bed, hence why I have a sheet, a duvet, AND two blankets that must be carefully sorted out before bed and also around 3am.)
posted by muddgirl at 9:26 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

Since putting the cover on the duvet in my house seems to be a complicated operation along the lines of modern rocket science, my wife and I fall into camp 2 and use a flat sheet underneath so we don't have to wash the duvet cover as much. But we're americans, so we are quite possibly too dense and uncivilized to equip a duvet into a cover with efficient dispatch.

Mind you, this came after several years of no cover on said duvet because while my hands may be precision instruments on a lead guitar, they turn but to pudgy stumps whilst employed in the manner of inserting the duvet into a cover. During that time Maison Du Sparkles took particular care to use a flat sheet beneath the naked, unprotected duvet so as to limit required washings of the down-filled, fire-breathing beast.
posted by Annika Cicada at 9:35 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

Fitted sheet
Top sheet
Duvet cover
Duvet
Comforter
Blanket
Shrink wrap
Bubble wrap
Cardboard
Bubble wrap
Wooden crate
Pallet
Hyperbaric chamber
ratcheting tie-down straps
ISO 6346 series 1 intermodal shipping container, 6m
Kenworth
Armed leading and following motor escort

In the aptly named YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG thread you can find a whole slew of Mefites' preferred bed-layering setups. Starting with my own, and then it just gets weirder from there. Be prepared for tangents about sheet ironing, mattress pads, and of course cats and dogs.
posted by Kabanos at 9:58 AM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

I've tried duvets and duvet covers and they just didn't work for me - the duvet just got stuck in one end like a big ball. I just use a comforter and a fitted and top sheet. And we wash the comforter from time to time, but the top sheet a lot more often. I feel like there are many ways to do this, just make sure you wash the stuff that's in contact with your skin more often.
posted by peacheater at 9:59 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Fitted sheet
Top sheet
Duvet cover
Duvet
Comforter
Blanket
Shrink wrap
Bubble wrap
Cardboard
Bubble wrap
Wooden crate
Pallet
Hyperbaric chamber
ratcheting tie-down straps
ISO 6346 series 1 intermodal shipping container, 6m
Kenworth
Armed leading and following motor escort

Peasants! There's supposed to be an iron lung inside the hyperbaric chamber.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:03 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was converted to camp 1 by German hotels. It felt so liberating getting rid of the top sheet. What was the point of it? In the morning it's always missing, crumpled into one of the corners of the bed, so clearly I'm trying to ditch it in my sleep. And tucking it in doesn't work because it's too constricting (my sleeping technique is definitely burrito) and I can't kick a foot out if I get hot.

Even better, we use 2 twin-sized duvets, so when Mr. antinomia does the burrito thing I'm not left in the cold. Also learned this from German hotels.
posted by antinomia at 10:17 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

I grew up with fitted sheet, top sheet, blanket, comforter/bedspread. Comforter is poofy but filled with like stuffing or something. The things you get in a Bed In A Bag kits. All one piece, you launder them, etc. The bedspreads were heavier in weight but thinner, so like, a quilt, or similar sort of thing. They also tended (at least in my family) to be bought/made larger so that they hung down over the sides of the bed.

Then when I moved out on my own I wanted a down comforter and learned that down comforters are duvets and they go in duvet covers. So I bought a good down comforter and have been swapping duvet covers ever since. I still like the top sheet because between 4 and 5 AM every night I wake up way too hot (this is independent of jetlag, time of year, method of environmental control, etc) so I end up using the top sheet over my shoulders and feet and the duvet everywhere else.

I don't know what you're talking about, people saying a duvet is in a plain white cover and then another cover. That's too many covers. It's the box-baffled down thing, then the giant pillowcase type thing on top.

Also, highly recommend a good linen duvet cover. Washes really well (hello, dog and toddler!), adjusts well for the seasons, and without the duvet in it is a great hot humid summer layer.
posted by olinerd at 10:17 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think that the USian trend towards multiple textiles is a way to fine-tune the temperature shifts in the watches of the night. There are definitely several nights per year when it's too cold for just the top sheet and a blanket, but too hot for the top sheet, blanket, and a duvet. Adding one more blanket does the trick.

I have sheet sets, but then I also have a couple fleece blankets, two quilts, a duvet, and a bunch of throw blankets, and what I use depends wildly on the season and the temperature. If it's too hot for a duvet, but still chilly, I can add a blanket. If the duvet is too warm but just a blanket is too cold, I have the quilts. If it's hot as balls, it's just the top sheet. (I've never felt comfortable sleeping totally exposed, I need something on top.) And there's always a throw blanket folded up at the foot of the bed so if I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm cold I can add that.

You know how in super-changeable weather the advice is to dress in layers? In the US we just have need to apply that concept to our bedding is all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:26 AM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

Our bed's sheets have dinosaurs on them, which is really more important that what kind of blanket you use.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:36 AM on December 1, 2016 [20 favorites]

I think people who don't use top sheets with their duvets don't have sex very often.
posted by pupsocket at 10:43 AM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

A blanket and a duvet are two different things. Blankets are generally a woven, fleece, or knit material in one layer. A duvet has a quilted interior and made up of several layers, thus a single duvet is warmer than a single blanket.

So yeah, a class thing.

But a blanket is lighter and more portable. For people who make the bed, having 3 or 4 layers of blankets is more difficult than a single duvet.

No one makes a bed with 3 or 4 layers. You fold the other blankets neatly at the foot of the bed, or even better, on the trunk at the end of the bed and pull them onto you as needed. That's the only sane and correct way.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:50 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

mattress
heated mattress pad
regular mattress pad
fitted sheet
me, in pajama
duvet #1, inside duvet cover
duvet #2, nakey
duvet #3, inside duvet cover
the entire horrible world outside my blanky cave
posted by poffin boffin at 10:59 AM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

I think one missing piece of data is size of bed. For a CA King (183cm x 213cm), wrestling a duvet cover can indeed be an ordeal compared to smaller beds. That could push USians with big beds into Camp #2, where you don't have to swap the cover every time because it's a pain.

I personally am Camp #2 because the sheet drapes better and can be flannel, my wife is #1. This lets her pull the duvet taut between us and eventually steal the duvet, but leaves me with the sheet. So we end up in Camp #2 even though we dislike the duvet cover shuffle.
posted by troyer at 11:00 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm in the UK and to my knowledge duvet / blanket is not a class thing, just an era thing. People used to use a top sheet and a blanket, now they just use a duvet, unless perhaps they are 120 years old. Duvets are available in all price brackets from cheapo £10 ones to fancy goose down ones. They are just far better at insulating than blankets, because of all the warm air that can get trapped in there.
posted by emilyw at 11:00 AM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

Wait, there are people in this world who use a top sheet but DON'T tuck it in at the bottom of the bed?

If I can't stick my feet out of the covers during the night, I'll literally burst into flames. Doesn't anyone else's feet get hot during the night?
posted by octothorpe at 11:00 AM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

If I can't stick my feet out of the covers during the night, I'll literally burst into flames. Doesn't anyone else's feet get hot during the night?

You throw your foot out the side of the blanket/top sheet and rest it on top until you cool off. Then when you get cold, your warm tucked in blanket cave is still there.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:03 AM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

Jesus, why can't you people lie in bed correctly?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:05 AM on December 1, 2016 [8 favorites]

If I can't stick my feet out of the covers during the night, I'll literally burst into flames. Doesn't anyone else's feet get hot during the night?

No, they get fucking freezing during the night. If one toe is exposed to anything less than a 75-degree F room, I start shivering.
posted by Melismata at 11:06 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Is this an America vs. Europe thing? Is this a regional thing? Or is this more idiosyncratic, like family habits passed through generations? WHERE DO YOU STAND, MEFITES?

Facing the shower head, obv
posted by Kabanos at 11:14 AM on December 1, 2016 [9 favorites]

It is critically important to have one foot burritoed in the blankets and the other stuck out in the open air. This is how you maintain body temperature while also appeasing the monsters under the bed.

If I can't stick my feet out of the covers during the night, I'll literally burst into flames. Doesn't anyone else's feet get hot during the night?

I have dubbed this phenomonon Thermostat Foot. I do this, and have to do this, and have my whole life. If I'm cold, both feet go under. If I'm not, both come out. Most nights it's a one-in/one-out situation.
posted by jhope71 at 11:16 AM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

Wife and I just bought a nice new set of linens (inc duvet cover) to match our new mattress. All King sized, praise be to the heavens. Except the old down duvet itself, it's queen and we're suffering from slide pain when we tried to utilize it in the king cover.

Any tips, besides the trivial solution of buy a new duvet or cover since we'd rather not do either of those for various reasons, for us?

Oh, and camp 1. And yes duvets are newfangled to this USian.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:25 AM on December 1, 2016

why the hell would you make the bed?

Two sheets tightly made up and tucked in are intended to keep the biting and stinging critters from slipping beneath your covers into your sleeping area when the bed is not in use.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:33 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I Can't Believe It's Not Bedspread™
posted by Kabanos at 11:34 AM on December 1, 2016

Two sheets tightly made up and tucked in are intended to keep the biting and stinging critters from slipping beneath your covers into your sleeping area when the bed is not in use.

I don't doubt you or your logic, but if there's been a critical and/or scientific (or hell even a note in a historical text) about this aspect of human behavior, I'd love to read it.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:35 AM on December 1, 2016

the citation you seek is called australia
posted by poffin boffin at 11:36 AM on December 1, 2016 [8 favorites]

Wait a minute...you mean you can put sheets on a bed???
posted by jonmc at 11:42 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

I fail to believe that some creased, tightly stretched sheets render, or help to render, Australia inhabitable. I will allow, however, that some Australians own them.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:44 AM on December 1, 2016

Since we're talking about this, may I just drop in a link to Saffron Marigold, where I got this gorgeous Indian-block-print duvet cover? You can also get matching sheets and pillowcases if that's your jam.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:46 AM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

If I can't stick my feet out of the covers during the night, I'll literally burst into flames. Doesn't anyone else's feet get hot during the night?

My feet are always cold. They're cold right now in my ~70 degree office. They're crazy cold at night. I need everything untucked so I can wrap the blankets and sheets around my feet a few times to make a little foot mummy. Also because if tucked I have to curl up to fit on the bed, but I could live with that if my feet weren't frozen.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 11:48 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

I need everything untucked so I can wrap the blankets and sheets around my feet a few times to make a little foot mummy

may i introduce you to the technological marvels known as "socks"
posted by poffin boffin at 11:52 AM on December 1, 2016 [8 favorites]

they're like individual foot mummies you can remove at will
posted by poffin boffin at 11:52 AM on December 1, 2016 [13 favorites]

I know what you're getting at poffin boffin, but sleeping in socks sucks because socks, in general, suck.

Down with Duvet covers and socks!

(I was just pursuing amazon last night for a heated mattress pad for the feet region only)
posted by INFJ at 11:57 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

1. I can vouch for those dinosaur sheets. A+ sheeting.
2. If you don't use a top sheet, then you don't get the joy of slipping in between flannel sheets!
3. I am very short and sometimes end up sliding halfway down the bed to stick my feet out the bottom of the blankets and then wake up in the middle of the night smothering myself underneath all the blankets and sheets for the sake of not overheating my feet. I don't have any good solutions to this.
posted by ChuraChura at 11:59 AM on December 1, 2016

Sleeping with socks=no difference. There's still COLD AIR everywhere, and it must be stopped.
posted by Melismata at 12:00 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

velcro on ur butt
posted by poffin boffin at 12:01 PM on December 1, 2016

ChuraChura, you can pull your blanket up, effectively making it shorter. Like have it bunched about your waist.

If a spouse is a concern, Why are you sharing blankets in the first place? Separate sleeping covers for all makes for happier spousal life.
posted by INFJ at 12:04 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

the duvet just got stuck in one end like a big ball.

Civilized duvets have little corner hook thingies that you can attach to the corners of civilized duvet covers (mine have velcro) so this abomination doesn't happen.

we're suffering from slide pain when we tried to utilize it in the king cover.

I do not know what this means but "Get a new duvet cover or make one out of some sheets" is the solution you want here.

my blanky cave

This is almost exactly my layout except I have a blanket instead of one of the duvets and also I am wearing a hat.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 12:04 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

I use a washable down blanket, which is like a duvet cover in that you can readily clean it but unlike a duvet in that you don't need to wrestle the duvet itself inside. Also, a duvet in a duvet cover is too hot, because you have the duvet and then two sheets. Also, the solution to sharing blankets is that you have a large bed and twin sized blankets for each person. Everyone can wrap themselves into their own blanket burrito. By day, you can either fold the blankets or spread them across the top of the bed, possibly with one large blanket to cover the whole thing if you're troubled by the optics.

And also: I grew up using two flat sheets (that's how you learn to make a bed, people - hospital corners!!!) and a blanket and a bedspread. That is the proper way to make a bed and the proper way to run a home. Sadly, I myself live carelessly and slummily and do not do this, but if I ever have a proper home run in normal bourgeois order, I will revert.
posted by Frowner at 12:06 PM on December 1, 2016

I avoid the whole issue by sleeping inside the doona (ok, "duvet", if you must) cover, like a sleeping bag.

This also helps protect against redback spider bites.

(Not much protection, but some is better than none)

Also: earplugs to avoid spider eggs in ears & hatchlings burrowing their way into the brain.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:10 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

Another important precaution is checking inside the doona/sleeping bag before getting into bed, lest you be surprised by eight (or zero) legged friends who have climbed in during the day.
posted by zamboni at 12:17 PM on December 1, 2016

Also: earplugs to avoid spider eggs in ears & hatchlings burrowing their way into the brain.

I can't tell if this is serious or not but I am never going to Australia now
posted by AFABulous at 12:21 PM on December 1, 2016 [19 favorites]

welp there goes all my opinions on sheets because who needs sleep if it'll involve spiders laying their eggs in your ears

thanks for the nightmare fuel UboRoivas
posted by Hermione Granger at 12:36 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

I believe I have mentioned here before the recluse spider that made its way into my full face CPAP mask, and the ensuing spider bite, large necrotic hole on the bridge of my nose, swallowing of said spider, etc. And I live in Washington State. The CPAP mask was resting on my pillow. We make the damn bed.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:38 PM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

the recluse spider that made its way into my full face CPAP mask

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

(today on "finding my nightmares on mefi")
(edited because one giant aaaaahhh broke formatting)
posted by rmd1023 at 12:46 PM on December 1, 2016 [11 favorites]

why doesnt remove from recent activity work on my brain
posted by poffin boffin at 12:48 PM on December 1, 2016 [15 favorites]

(like, literally, I had a nightmare about that (with a generic spider) once, and remember in the nightmare saying "well, I'm going to freak the fuck out now". I almost always let the cpap run for a few moments before masking up because it seems safer that way.)
posted by rmd1023 at 12:49 PM on December 1, 2016

At my age, I'm grateful when my brain actually remembers recent activity.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:50 PM on December 1, 2016

If it makes you feel any better, rmd1023, even with the cute divot I now have in my nose, I came out of the event a hell of a lot better off than the spider did.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:51 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

I'm not actually sure, given the spider's fate. I met some fucked up spiders when I lived in WA. Thankfully, never like that. Or with that result.
posted by rmd1023 at 12:55 PM on December 1, 2016

No one makes a bed with 3 or 4 layers. You fold the other blankets neatly at the foot of the bed, or even better, on the trunk at the end of the bed and pull them onto you as needed. That's the only sane and correct way.

What? Do you people not live anywhere with, like, climates? Its 50 degrees in my bedroom in the winter. Also, why would I want to spend a half hour making my bed every night?

Down comforter with cover
Fleece blanket
Heavier fleece blanket
Wool blanket
Another Fleece blanket (wool is itchy)
Flannel Flat Sheet
Flannel Fitted Sheet
Warming mattress pad
mattress

Duvet with cover is fine in the summer, but in the winter I'd freeze to death.

I need everything untucked so I can wrap the blankets and sheets around my feet a few times to make a little foot mummy

may i introduce you to the technological marvels known as "socks"

Socks, shmocks. Allow me to introduce you to Foot Duvets (yes, really). Way better than socks. I actually only wear mine in bed and then switch to regular slippers when I get up. No more cold feet. May have saved my marriage.
posted by anastasiav at 1:01 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

I was just about to post about Foot Duvets. Don't have a pair, but would love some. Any way to get a pair without going into RH (there is one near me, but I don't want to go there just for these).
posted by peacheater at 1:09 PM on December 1, 2016

peacheater: Here's some on Amazon. or from John Lewis (may be UK only?). the JL ones are much closer to the ones I get from RH.
posted by anastasiav at 1:16 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

No one makes a bed with 3 or 4 layers. You fold the other blankets neatly at the foot of the bed, or even better, on the trunk at the end of the bed and pull them onto you as needed. That's the only sane and correct way.

Is it really any easier to fold the blankets neatly at the foot of the bed than to pull them up over the bed? It takes me about a minute to make the bed right now, with top sheet, blanket, and quilt (and that's with some extra folding back because we like the contrast of the blanket and quilt). We're using all of them nightly, so maybe that's why it wouldn't be a time saver for us.
posted by ghost phoneme at 1:19 PM on December 1, 2016

Do you wear your Foot Duvets with or without sheets socks?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:19 PM on December 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

I grew up with fitted sheet, flat top sheet, blanket, bedspread. (Maybe blanket was left out in summer?). Then later in teenage years it became fitted sheet, flat top sheet, comforter (which is basically a duvet+cover only all sewn up together.) I use an actual duvet now, but I still use the top sheet also because I think of the duvet as being like the comforter.

Mainly what the duvet is good for to me is shoving parts of it between my knees since I sleep on my sides most of the time, and having my bony knees lying on each other for hours hurts. (I've tried using a small extra pillow for that, but using the duvet for it is just easier.)
posted by dnash at 1:24 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Is it really any easier to fold the blankets neatly at the foot of the bed than to pull them up over the bed?

you need to have a selection of layers suspended above the bed which can be raised or lifted by a series of small bedside levers
posted by poffin boffin at 1:26 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

the jindosh clockwork blankie
posted by poffin boffin at 1:26 PM on December 1, 2016

That is what the robots are for.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:28 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I live in New England so we have sheets, quilts, and afghans, usually crocheted by a female relative. Maybe a wool blanket at the foot of the bed.

I tried using a comforter once. What a pain in the arse to clean and yes, cover or no cover, quilted box stitching or leave the feathers all in a big jumble, that you have to shake out every other damned day, and then yes, my Ex had a cover on his, complete with giant buttons, and it was a constant ritual of getting it all. lined. up. And he insisted on no box stitching so we had to fluff the damned thing all the time, so by that time, I hated bed and going to bed and all things associated with being cozy in bed.

You shouldn't have to fight your bedcovers, people. Just get a freaking quilt, and have some grannie make you an afghan.

Camp #3.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 1:34 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

How do electric blankets get incorporated to the duvet stack? Or is this another thing where 220V Europe doesn't do it because of the risk of electric death?
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:43 PM on December 1, 2016

Fuckin' duvet covers: how do they duvet work?

Don't let a pun like that slip through your fingers!
posted by jason_steakums at 1:52 PM on December 1, 2016 [16 favorites]

How do electric blankets get incorporated to the duvet stack? Or is this another thing where 220V Europe doesn't do it because of the risk of electric death?

Forget that nonsense! Heated mattress pads are where it's at.

Anyway, newer electric blankets or mattress pads have a bunch of safety features, and many of them operate at lower voltage than the wall outlet. Besides, older electric blankets are/were more of a fire hazard than an electrocution hazard.
posted by aubilenon at 2:10 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

I discovered duvets while living in England in high school. I'm totally in camp one, since I hate having anything tucked in at the end of the bed because tall.

When I got to my mom's house in New Hampshire, I sleep in a double bed with flannel sheets, electric blanket and a pile of quilts because she's a hardcore quilter. The first thing I do is untuck the bottom of the flat sheet - because in a double bed my feet stick out about a foot beyond the end of the bed - and turn off the electric blanket because it's way too hot. Then I lament that I'm not sleeping in my own bed.

I'm currently sleeping with a thick down duvet from Overstock.com with a cool brushed-cotton cover and can pull it up and down and stick legs and feet out of the covers and move parts over to the cool parts of the duvet for temperature regulation. In warmer weather I have a lightweight duvet that came from IKEA.

My mom knows I sleep like this, but she has still given me more quilts than I know what to do with.

I agree with the trick of using a king-sized duvet on a queen-sized bed when you have a bedfellow, but that's been years for me now and I'm happy to sleep in the middle of the queen with the whole duvet.
posted by bendy at 2:44 PM on December 1, 2016

I'm 5 feet tall. My king size duvet is like 3 times my size and weighs about as much as I do. There's no way I'm taking that cover off with any regularity. Also, in addition to a top sheet, I put a blanket between the top sheet and the duvet, because I am made of ice and this is the only way to keep myself warm in winter.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 2:45 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

Duvets are the literal worst,no duvets ever I live in Arizona and my husband is like a furnace why in the hell do I want a giant roasty blanket lying on me with with no layers to tweak?

Flat sheet, cotton blanket, bliss. Oh it's "winter"? We can also add another slightly thicker cotton blanket that either me or the husband will toss on the floor sometime around 3 AM.
posted by Squeak Attack at 3:12 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

Making the bed consists of the nearest three or four textile- and pillow-like objects, because there's nothing like getting into a nicely made bed at night (though I will admit this was a later-in-life revelation for me). Nothing tucked in, because life is too short and I am too tall. I also sleep facing the shower.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:26 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'm in camp 2 but I wash the duvet cover every other week -- I flip it after the first week and wash it after the second. Why you may ask well let me tell you. Cats. Cat hair. White duvet cover. Black cats. There ya have it.
posted by janey47 at 4:01 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

My mother-in-law makes quilts, so we have ALL OF THE QUILTS, and acquiring a duvet would be tantamount to treason.

Current set up is:

Fitted sheet
Top sheet
Old soft comforter dating back to SO's father's college days
Jungle quilt, made after SO accompanied MIL to fabric store when he was 7, saw the stack of animal pattern fabric and went I WANT A JUNGLE QUILT
Wedding quilt made for, well, the wedding

# of quilts, and presence/absence of comforter gets adjusted according to the weather. When we visit the in-laws, who keep the temperature rather low in their house, we end up with like, 4 quilts on top of SO's childhood bed.
posted by damayanti at 4:38 PM on December 1, 2016 [10 favorites]

I'm pretty sure that I've only ever seen the word "duvet" here on metafilter. Has anyone else ever heard it used in the US?
posted by octothorpe at 4:51 PM on December 1, 2016

I don't know that I've heard it a lot, but you can buy duvets and covers from, for instance, Crate and Barrel and Target.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 4:57 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yes, octothorpe. I have definitely seen and heard "duvet" used in the U.S.

But the important issue right now is: FOOT DUVETS ARE JUST FREAKING SLIPPERS WHY ARE THEY BEING CALLED THAT TWEE NAME FOOT DUVET GAAAAAHHHHHHH
posted by cooker girl at 5:34 PM on December 1, 2016 [12 favorites]

mattress
mattress protector
fitted sheet
native soil
spring-loaded thingy that pivots me upright if my slumber is disturbed, scaring the bejesus out of everyone
me
more native soil
assorted thralls (male & female)
sarcophagus lid
demon cat
posted by um at 5:50 PM on December 1, 2016 [12 favorites]

I'm also short (5'2) and I like to have a king-size blanket on a queen bed, because I prefer the blanket to hang more generously on the sides than queen blankets do. Trying to deal with getting a comforter into a duvet cover was just plain cumbersome, not to mention that the comforter was too bulky to wash in my washing machine. When I did have a duvet cover, it had a button closure, and I put the button side at the foot of the bed so I wouldn't have buttons in my face.

I finally gave up and my current set-up is:

1. Fitted and flat sheet (Pure Beech sateen modal sheets from Bed, Bath & Beyond, aka the best sheets in the known universe)
2. Fuzzy plush blanket
3. Another fuzzy plush blanket
4. A thin fiberfill comforter ($25 Black Friday special from Macy's, a really great deal)
5. A red cable-knit/Sherpa throw from Pottery Barn (the warmest blanket in the universe--no kidding, that thing gets as warm as an electric blanket on high)

All of the above fit in my washer and wash nicely, and can be added or removed depending on how cold I am. Right now I just have 1, 2, 3 and 5.
posted by Autumnheart at 5:54 PM on December 1, 2016

Camp 2, except my wife uses an extra blanket or two under the top sheet because her preferred temp is about 6-7 degrees C more than mine.
posted by thefoxgod at 5:55 PM on December 1, 2016

I also have a herd of cats, and like being able to switch blankets out in case of a mishap. I change sheets weekly, and wash the blankets and mattress pad monthly. My comforter is white (3 grey cats and a black/brown "mini coon"), but the rest of my blankets are colors.
posted by Autumnheart at 5:58 PM on December 1, 2016

A flat sheet under the doona (which is an upside-down duvet) can be good on hot nights if you want to kick off the doona.

The doona covers get washed with the same frequency as the sheets.

So I'll be camp 3. Or maybe 1.5...
posted by pompomtom at 6:49 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Peasants! There's supposed to be an iron lung inside the hyperbaric chamber.

I hope you know that iron lungs won't fit in most hyperbaric chambers, and you would have to do a lot of fiddling with the settings to get them to work right.

(I wonder if any other mefites have actually used an iron lung)
posted by TedW at 7:03 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I didn't even know iron lungs had been in use anytime recently. Both my parents had to use a hyperbaric chamber, though, when they got carbon monoxide poisoning. I don't think there were any duvets involved in their hyperbaric chamber experience, although apparently they were allowed to watch movies. They said that being in a hyperbaric chamber is really boring.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:31 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

In Iceland last month, I think I finally learned what a duvet is. "Oh, it's a heavier comforter that I guess I could just sleep under instead of between this top sheet and fitted sheet that are right where they should be."

Thinking about bedding reminds me that in my youth, I remember my bed having this configuration:

bed spread
thin decorative blanket cover
blanket
top sheet
fitted sheet
mattress pad
mattress

Where did the thin blanket covers of my youth go? Was this just a northeastern U.S. phenomenon?
posted by emelenjr at 7:32 PM on December 1, 2016

Is a blanket cover a thing that the blanket goes inside or is it a thing that goes over the blanket in which case isn't that just another blanket?

I like to have a king-size blanket on a queen bed

I am also 5'2" and I do this but it can be a problem because the thing is so heavy that once it starts slipping off one side of the bed, it's definitely going all the way over and taking most of your blankets with it.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:39 PM on December 1, 2016

Camp 2 here.
posted by bunderful at 7:46 PM on December 1, 2016

I remember being moderately confused by the usage of the word "Duvet" while I was living in university housing in the UK, as it seemed to be synonymous with "blanket" instead of "comforter" which I was accustomed to, having come from the US.

I grew up in a Camp 2 household, but gradually became Camp 1, but later went back to Camp 2 after moving to DC, which has a much more ... variable ... winter climate.
posted by schmod at 7:49 PM on December 1, 2016

I guess It wasn't so much a cover as just another thin (but decorative) sheet on top of the blanket.
posted by emelenjr at 8:04 PM on December 1, 2016

What? Do you people not live anywhere with, like, climates? Its 50 degrees in my bedroom in the winter. Also, why would I want to spend a half hour making my bed every night?

Just for the sleeping part, I could quite happily have an unheated bedroom, down to a pretty low temperature at least, past a point it is just too cold.

But for everything else one does in a bedroom, like reading or getting dressed, that would be hell, and so I end up with a bedroom that is slightly chilly for hanging out, but also warmer than I would prefer for sleeping.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:09 PM on December 1, 2016

My friend the ex-pat informs me that two sheets + comforter/quilt is American, one sheet plus frequently washed duvet cover is European. I feel this fits my Lands' End catalogue vs IKEA experience.
posted by maryr at 8:17 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

PS: I am camp 2 because you need a blanket in the winter between you and the duvet and you don't want to wash the heavy, possibly electric, blanket, so you need a sheet. I can sleep fine the other way, it's just easier to wash sheets. So, more or less what everyone else has said.
posted by maryr at 8:22 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Okay try this, cold-weather people:

Fitted cotton sheet
(People)
Flat cotton sheet (optional)
Cotton duvet cover with down duvet
SYNTHETIC FLEECE-TYPE BLANKET ON TOP

The air circulates through the cotton and down layers but the synthetic blanket holds the heat in. But the layers of natural fibers with the circulation mean you don't sweat to death.

Thermostat 55*F at night, yo.

PS, get a programmable thermostat so you can heat the house to 65 half an hour before you get up, if you're a wussy
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 8:48 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

Heated mattress pads are the best, they work infinitely better for me than an electric blanket. We were gifted one that had separate controls for each side. That was the best I've ever slept. Unfortunately it died rather quickly, so we returned it for credit because my husband was always slightly concerned about everything going up in flames.

get a programmable thermostat so you can heat the house to 65 half an hour before you get up, if you're a wussy.

Our apartment has separate temperature settings for occupied/unoccupied, but somebody threw out the user guide, so I haven't figured out how to change when it switches between occupied to unoccupied. Once I do, I plan to set it to decidedly chilly at night, but have it start warming up shortly before wakeup, about when my natural light alarm starts to slowly brighten the room. Maybe I'll finally stop hitting the snooze button (the natural light alarm did help a lot already).
posted by ghost phoneme at 9:04 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Our apartment has separate temperature settings for occupied/unoccupied, but somebody threw out the user guide

Is there by chance a googleable brand + model number on the thermostat?

Also, there are more short, easily chilled MeFites than I was previously aware of.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:42 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I was going to offer some sage advice on the best way to change a duvet cover, but then I came across this duvet burrito craziness.

I might have to go and change the duvet cover just to try it.
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 9:49 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

How are people even tolerating a sheet, an electric blanket, AND a duvet without roasting to death in their sleep? I'm honestly baffled.
posted by mochapickle at 9:50 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

Our bedroom is about 10 degrees in the winter thanks to set back thermostat so we have several blankets
posted by Mitheral at 9:54 PM on December 1, 2016

Another thing to consider when it comes to the need for variable-temperature bedlinen:

Some of us are both the gender and age whereby our own bodies will spontaneously and unpredictably generate their own heat in short intervals. Let's just put it that way.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:55 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

SYNTHETIC FLEECE-TYPE BLANKET ON TOP

i have seen up close and personal what these look like after a house fire, no thanks
posted by poffin boffin at 10:45 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

So now that that's settled, do you say "doovay" or "doovit"?

Doo-vay. Duvet is the French word for "down" i.e. the stuffing in a duvet (which, yes, can be something other than down, but was traditionally down). What y'all call a duvet in English is called une couette in French.

Anytime textile-related stuff comes up I find it fascinating because I realize how ancestrally-influenced my family were, which is not something I noticed growing up because my parents were pretty shitty; they moved to the boondocks to isolate their kids (they told us this) and forbade me from staying overnight at friends. Anyway. So, I grew up with layers of thick handwoven wool blankets and thought that was completely normal. Took one of them to France with me that I still have, and still use when it gets really cold. It's pretty weird to grow up, travel and read MeFi and realize, like, people don't actually take the wool blanket their great-grandma made with them. Also, wool blankets that quality cost gajillions to buy. (It's thick, tightly woven, weighs a ton.)

I can vouch for the awesomeness of wool blankets though. They do temperature control better than anything I've ever experienced. I have a really nice duvet here in France, but I still occasionally overheat at times. Mine's actual down in cotton, plus my duvet cover is cotton, and yet it just doesn't breathe, so I have to toss off a corner and go with just the flat sheet to cool down (I'm in camp 2). Never happened to me with wool blankets. Wool doesn't have the same toasty warmth as duvets, but they do have a lovely sort of breathing insulation. You don't get hot under them, but if you have the right amount of layers, you don't get cold either. They're also friggin' awesome if you like to feel wrapped up, because they're heavy.

Worked at Crater Lake National Park twenty years ago and our dorm was a big loft-like space on the top floor under the rafters. One day the heating broke, temps dropped below freezing, there weren't enough beds to re-home those of us on the freezing top floor into the smaller rooms that could be reasonably heated with space heaters. I volunteered to stay upstairs. Tossed on four wool blankets, never got chilly. Got a kick out of the reputation it gave me for being badass. Like, nah, it's all thanks to sheep fur.
posted by fraula at 2:46 AM on December 2, 2016 [7 favorites]

I'm Dutch and currently live in the UK. Both countries consider the duvet cover to be the sheet that gets washed regularly, so you don't need yet another sheet between you and the duvet. That coloured bag *is* your sheet. The inside white fluffy thing gets washed much less regularly. It's doesn't fit in home washing machines, so requires a trip to the laundry place. (Which is not common in these countries, since everyone has a washing machine at home)

I've also lived in Canada, and here I encountered people who INSISTED there needed to be another sheet because it was gross to not have one. When I explained the thing that I washed every two weeks or so, and its sheet-like properties, I got the impression that the people I was talking to maybe had another kind of duvet, which didn't have such an easily removable outside layer. When I stayed at other people's houses there, there seemed to be two camps: some with beds like mine, and others with a loose sheet and a sort of quilt that seemed tedious to wash, but some people did call that quilt thing a "duvet" as well.

So I think that "duvet" is used to refer to two different types of bed coverings, that come with entirely different washing protocols, and that's where the confusion comes from.

(And to add to the cold weather tip: with a European-style duvet you can squeeze a fleece blanket inside the cover together with the usual thing. Or just wrap yourself in the fleece blanket because it's 3AM and you didn't realise it was going to be so cold tonight but you're certainly not remaking the bed at this hour.)
posted by easternblot at 4:24 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

American, firmly in camp 1. We are not all savages.
posted by theredpen at 5:08 AM on December 2, 2016

What's sleep?

I don't totally know, but I assume it's what can sometimes happen after 200 mg magnesium + 600 mg l-theanine (+ if desperate, the teensiest, most fractional slip of sublingual lorazepam - I have conceded) + putting YouTube on autoplay (instructional videos, or anything in the unboxing genre).
posted by cotton dress sock at 5:58 AM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

I think people who don't use top sheets with their duvets don't have sex very often.

No, this is why we need a nice washable cover. Who has sex under a sheet? I thought that was a media convention for the cameras. (I am Canadian, ice sports are in my blood.)
posted by warriorqueen at 6:35 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

Well, we sometimes start out under the sheet, until we no longer care that it's cold in the bedroom.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:41 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Who has sex under a sheet?

Americans, apparently.
posted by bonehead at 6:53 AM on December 2, 2016

This duvet thing is going to be something we repeat every so often just like the cat scanner.
posted by exogenous at 7:10 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

scratch: now that that's settled, do you say "doovay" or "doovit"?

Dekbed.
posted by Too-Ticky at 7:16 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Who has sex under a sheet?

Americans, apparently.


Freedom Comforters.
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:06 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

Back in my single days I was firmly Camp 1, but my clever, funny, kind and handsome husband is utterly unable to pull up the comforter except by pulling on the duvet cover. Eventually, the duvet works its way to the foot of the cover, leaving our bodies covered by an empty gigantic pillowcase that gets pulled off the bed by the weight of the duvet wadded up in the foot of the cover.

And yes, I tried the little clippy things that are supposed to keep the duvet squarely inside the cover. They're not strong enough to overcome my husband's determination to wreck the bedding.

Now we're back to the American standard setup of fitted sheet, top sheet, quilted bedspread. I don't like it nearly as much but I don't dislike it enough to divorce him... yet.
posted by workerant at 8:42 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

So, today I learned that a duvet is the thing that fancy hotels are using instead of a top sheet and a blanket, meaning that I wake up at 3am soaked in sweat and with no choice but to now freeze to death because it's either the heavy duvet of doom or nothing. I figured this was just a way for them to save money on housekeeping by leaving off the top sheet.

I also learned today that there are people who use this setup on purpose. Mind-boggling, to say the least. Do you people not sweat, or do you live somewhere so cold that this kind of bedding arrangement makes practical sense? For me it's always been: fitted sheet, top sheet, and depending on the time of year a thin blanket supplemented by more blankets, plus one to three small dogs under the covers. Southeastern US, for what it's worth.

I also don't make the bed in a formal sense, I just pull the covers up so that it looks somewhat neat and tidy, and sheets get washed and changed probably every two weeks.
posted by ralan at 8:43 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Who has sex under a sheet?

Americans, apparently.

Freedom Comforters.

Official GOP Shameful-And-Disgusting-Activity Screens™
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:49 AM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

I tried the little clippy things that are supposed to keep the duvet squarely inside the cover.

I guess it's too late for you guys, but quality duvet covers have ties inside each corner that actually work to keep the cover aligned.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:51 AM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

I also don't make the bed in a formal sense, I just pull the covers up so that it looks somewhat neat and tidy, and sheets get washed and changed probably every two weeks.

Yeah, I've seen a few posts along the lines of "ugh, top sheets, then making your bed becomes a whole production where you have to tuck it in all nice. But with a duvet I can just pick it up and shake it out to cover the bed" and I'm like... well, yeah. And you can do that with sheets too. That is exactly what I do, I just pick up the duvet and the sheet together, by two corners, and shake them. I don't think I've tucked in a top sheet in my life.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:52 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

Official GOP Shameful-And-Disgusting-Activity Screens™

Only if the sheet has a hole in it.
posted by bonehead at 9:01 AM on December 2, 2016

I spent my early childhood in old, drafty un-restored Victorian flats in San Francisco, so sleeping was a thing you did under massive amounts of cover. When I moved to Texas, suddenly it was hothothot but I couldn't sleep without some sort of covering -- it's just not right. So I am firm in my use of a top sheet for thermal regulation.

In fact, we have 3 layers -- sheet, thin blanket, comforter, which can be tossed off or pulled up depending on body temp. My wife is warmer than me all the time, so she usually starts even cool nights out with just the sheet & thin blanket, while I need the comforter, too. I joke that I'm going to make a comforter with a zipper down the middle because we struggle over blanket rights a lot.

Also, hygiene. I can't sleep in pajamas because I turn the same direction in my sleep apparently, and wake up strangling in a wadded pajama set halfway through the night, so it's necessary to wash our sheets pretty regularly. I don't feel at all like taking a comforter out of a duvet cover every weekend.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:06 AM on December 2, 2016

I use a top sheet only about 9 months out of the year (then I add a blanket), but it's cool because (1) I live in FL and I'm always hot anyway and (2) I've always known I'm a weirdo about bedding, so in this singular case I was not surprised by the Ask thread reaffirming that it's so.
posted by penduluum at 9:19 AM on December 2, 2016

Official GOP Shameful-And-Disgusting-Activity Screens™

Only if the sheet has a hole in it.

Well, they usually like the two eyeholes.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:46 AM on December 2, 2016 [8 favorites]

Wait, people wash bedding? KRAY-ZAY
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:55 AM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'm 5 feet tall. My duvet/cover is King size despite having a Queen bed because it makes blanket-stealing a non issue. I'd have to, like, stand on a ladder to do the "oh, just turn the cover inside out, grab the corners and shake!" thing to work. Like I physically can't understand how this is working so well for y'all because I've tried it and it doesn't work for me.

So, top sheet ftw.

Also I get hot at night but hate being totally uncovered and a top sheet is great for that.
posted by misskaz at 9:55 AM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]

Having something covering you is necessary because otherwise the monsters will get you. Did you people not learn that as children?
posted by AFABulous at 11:18 AM on December 2, 2016 [9 favorites]

Currently:

Thin blanket in duvet cover that gets washed regularly
Me
Fitted sheet
Mattress

During hot summer nights the thin blanket is deleted from the package, and in extreme cases the duvet cover goes away as well

During cold winter nights another thin blanket is added on top
posted by rjs at 11:24 AM on December 2, 2016

Having something covering you is necessary because otherwise the monsters will get you. Did you people not learn that as children?

I always sleep on my side, and as a kid I got in the habit of making sure my top-most ear was always covered after seeing Hamlet.
posted by rjs at 11:28 AM on December 2, 2016 [10 favorites]

Wait, people wash bedding? KRAY-ZAY

KRAY-ZAY AWESOME! Freshly cleaned sheets (ideally line dried on a breezy summer's day, but I take what I can get) are the best thing ever.

Is there by chance a googleable brand + model number on the thermostat?

Sigh. Be reasonable and completely derail my righteous indignation. Pfft.

There's no model number, but the googling the brand let me figure out the model , and ultimately the user manual. Thermostat is now programmed.
posted by ghost phoneme at 11:40 AM on December 2, 2016 [8 favorites]

Having something covering you is necessary because otherwise the monsters will get you.

Primarily known as mosquitoes.
posted by INFJ at 11:53 AM on December 2, 2016

Yeah, clean sheets are one of the simple pleasures in life, like a box fan or a nice sunset.
posted by Devils Rancher at 12:28 PM on December 2, 2016

I think people who don't use top sheets with their duvets don't have sex very often.

this is hilarious to me bc it reminds me of one of my favourite tumblr usernames, "sexhaver"
posted by poffin boffin at 1:07 PM on December 2, 2016

I spend most of most nights on four beach towels inside a cotton sleeping bag liner sewn from a sheet, atop a slab of glass, and under a single cotton sheet.

For Reasons.
posted by jamjam at 1:18 PM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

The Internet is full of difficult questions this week.
posted by Wordshore at 1:27 PM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

The Internet is full of difficult questions this week.

That's a solved issue, see e.g. "I have no idea why this image is even an issue."

The original tweet & photo was great, though. I can see why he's a bit pissed off.
posted by effbot at 2:29 PM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

The easiest way to put a cover on a duvet or doona, and which makes you look like a magician, is to turn the cover inside out, put your hands in the far corners and use them like mittens to grab the corresponding corners of the duvet/doona, and then with one, mighty, theatrical flourish you shake it out and the cover is over the duvet/doona, and requires only some minor tucking and poking to make it all neat and tidy. Ta-da!
posted by glitter at 3:46 PM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was always a fitted sheet + flat sheet + duvet person and Greg was always a fitted sheet + duvet person. When we moved in together, I adapted to the fitted sheet + duvet way of life because frankly I just don't care that much and also he gets really mad when he even thinks about fitted sheets. we wash the duvet cover regularly but tbh we might also be a little filthy

(although sometimes when he's not around I like to get a top sheet on there, tuck everything in super tight, and slip in it like i'm a little swaddled babe)
posted by likeatoaster at 4:45 PM on December 2, 2016 [5 favorites]

where is this When Greg's Not Around vine of you in a burrito
posted by poffin boffin at 5:08 PM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Does the fact that they sell sheets in SETS mean nothing to you heathens!?!?
posted by tristeza at 5:45 PM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Does the fact that they sell sheets in SETS mean nothing to you heathens!?!?

It means I have a large and growing stack of unused top sheets in the linen closet that I should probably go ahead and donate because I am never going to use them.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:21 PM on December 2, 2016 [5 favorites]

Screw charity, it's time for a massive blanket* fort!

*Technically sheet fort, but that just sounds wrong.
posted by ghost phoneme at 7:03 PM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

Fitted sheet top sheet wonderful wool blanket quilt duvet quilt sleeling bag et cetera until husband warm (i.e. never). Then I shove it all to the middle once I'm warm and sleep under sheet with feet under one quilt.
posted by chapps at 8:49 PM on December 2, 2016

mattress
foam pad
mattress topper
fitted sheet
me
flat sheet
blanket
blanket
comforter
Siberian Huske (me directly 5 layers below, occupy same verticle space, much conflict)
cat
posted by HuronBob at 9:37 PM on December 2, 2016 [6 favorites]

No flat sheet camp. In the summer a thin quilt goes in the duvet, and in winter we go with fluffy down .

My grandmother always told me I wouldn't find a man if I didn't sleep with a top sheet.

I've always hated top sheets.
posted by AlexiaSky at 10:40 PM on December 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

I spent last night at my mom's, and I learned the apple has rolled so far away from the tree. The guest room has very nice bedding, but there were so many layers that getting into bed felt kind of like undressing a victorian lady. There was a fitted sheet and a flat sheet and a blanket and a duvet in a cover and a foot blanket and a throw and myriad pillows (only one of them made for sleeping, the rest plump and as useful as marshmallows). Everything was in good, crisp cotton. It was beautiful, of course, but I slept maybe three hours in all that wrapping.
posted by mochapickle at 11:05 PM on December 2, 2016

I guess I grew up like a total savage in more than one way. The standard I experienced (which is now the standard in my house): fitted sheet, fluffy comforter, maybe another blanket on top if need be. I don't get duvet covers and duvets, and the only reason we previously had a foam mattress topper is because the old bed started to wear out and take my back with it, so that bought us another few years. The foam eventually started to wreck our backs like the bed had, then started disintegrating into bits, so that became suboptimal.

When my husband was really sick, though, I got used to sleeping with my own microfleece blanket or two, and now we can go to bed at completely different times and still each have a blanket (and not have to wake up the other to reclaim some part of it to go to sleep). Now the only issue is that the current bed is a little small, so when he has a whole comforter to himself, some portion of it piles up between us like a third person in the bed and creeps into my territory.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
posted by limeonaire at 11:50 PM on December 2, 2016

HuronBob, is the cat actually stacked on top of the Husky? I hope so!
posted by aubilenon at 1:05 AM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Does the fact that they sell sheets in SETS mean nothing to you heathens!?!?

they sell black and red licorice bites together too and that doesn't mean im gonna eat that ass-tasting devil's candy just cause it was included with my red bites.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:52 AM on December 3, 2016 [6 favorites]

tristeza: Does the fact that they sell sheets in SETS mean nothing to you heathens!?!?

No. Because they don't. Not over here, that is. *blows raspberry*
posted by Too-Ticky at 3:13 AM on December 3, 2016

Sleeping on a boat (in the v-berth) changes you:

triangular mattress
fitted canvas mattress cover
nautical bottom sheet (little anchors and knots and shit)
me
non-matching flannel sheet
quilted moving blanket that I traded a six-pack for from the guys in the moving van 20 years ago when I first moved to new york
yard-sale sleeping bag unzipped and opened out (when it's really cold)
flaregun/VHFhandset/compass/type 1 life jacket
flat coat retriever

also, growing up down south, it was always sheets/quilts/blankets/bedspread. Even the word "comforter" wasn't encountered until I was in my teens, from a "city" girlfriend. If you said duvet to me, I would figure you were french or something.
posted by valkane at 7:23 AM on December 3, 2016

My only contribution to this discussion is my surprise that no-one appears to have mentioned the necessity of having several duvets available in varying thicknesses for different seasons of the year.
posted by walrus at 7:42 AM on December 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

no-one appears to have mentioned the necessity of having several duvets available in varying thicknesses for different seasons of the year.

*cough* layeringquiltsandblanketsinsteadwouldletyouavoidthat *cough*
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:46 AM on December 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

That sounds like an insane amount of hassle though.
posted by walrus at 7:50 AM on December 3, 2016

Also getting the duvet into the cover is incredibly easy, just shove the corners into the corners, grasp the corners from the outside and give it one good flap.
posted by walrus at 7:54 AM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Also getting the duvet into the cover is incredibly easy, just shove the corners into the corners, grasp the corners from the outside and give it one good flap.

I suspect it is incredibly easier if you have long arms and are tall.
posted by amtho at 8:39 AM on December 3, 2016 [12 favorites]

they sell black and red licorice bites together too and that doesn't mean im gonna eat that ass-tasting devil's candy just cause it was included with my red bites.

That is not anise thing to say.
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:40 AM on December 3, 2016 [13 favorites]

"I suspect it is incredibly easier if you have long arms and are tall."

Or familiar with the concept of scrunching.
posted by walrus at 8:48 AM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

That sounds like an insane amount of hassle though.

Layering quilts and blankets is more hassle than assessing which duvet you need?

Consider:

a) You've got a sheet, a blanket, and a bedspread on your bed. It's a little chilly still, so you go to the linen closet, get a couple blankets, put one on the bed and put the other folded up at the foot. That way, if the first extra blanket still isn't enough, you can reach down and there's the second blanket. If the first extra blanket is enough, you're good.

b) You've got the summer-weight duvet on your bed. It's a little chilly, so you think maybe it's time for the mid-season duvet. You go get that from the linen closet, and stuff the summer weight one into the closet. You put the midseason one on the bed. But you wake up in the middle of the night because the midseason onet's still not enough, so you go get the winter one from the attic or whereever you stored it (not in the linen closet becuase it's too big). You stuff the midseason one back in the linen closet. Except the winter one is too hot. So then you put that back up on the attic and go get the mid-season one again. Except that's not warm enough. So then you have to decide whether you want to be too hot or too cold, all while figuring out where you're going to store the duvet you're not using (as soon as you figure out which one you're going to use). And meanwhile your neighbor who has the extra blanket folded up at the foot of the bed has just spread that on the bed and is already back asleep.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:12 AM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am short and seriously have tiny little t-rex arms, and I don't have any problem changing a duvet cover. I think it's one of those things that is really fiddly and annoying until you get the hang of it.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:25 AM on December 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

We have a thing that we call a quilt but I guess it is a duvet (it is cotton, though, and heavy) because it lives in a separate cover. When we have taken the cover off for washing and are putting the innards back in, we've found the easiest way to do this is to put the corners into the corners and then - while still holding the corners, of course - drop the whole thing over the stair railing and into the stairwell. Does not require long arms or being tall, but living in a 3rd floor flat definitely helps!

What I have never learned, no matter how many videos I've watched, is how to fold a fitted sheet so it is smooth and square(ish). I have learned to not care, though.
posted by rtha at 9:31 AM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

"Layering quilts and blankets is more hassle than assessing which duvet you need?"

I assess it maybe three or four times in a calendar year, so yes.
posted by walrus at 9:32 AM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Or familiar with the concept of scrunching.

I'm not saying it's impossible, just awkward and a bit of work. I've scrunched many a duvet in my time :) Longer arms would help.

My personal approach is generally a comforter (sometimes with a duvet cover) covered by a pretty sheet, which I then can wash weekly or as often as I want. The sheet takes less space in the washer, uses less water to clean, and that lets me wash it more frequently than I would a duvet. This was important when I had a cat and a cat allergy -- it helped a _lot_ with the allergy symptoms.
posted by amtho at 9:34 AM on December 3, 2016

I am short and seriously have tiny little t-rex arms, and I don't have any problem changing a duvet cover.

Do you just terrify smaller but longer-limbed dinosaurs into changing it for you?
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:37 AM on December 3, 2016 [13 favorites]

The best part of these threads by the way is that there is no wrong answer apart from everyone elses.
posted by walrus at 9:39 AM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Naturally, walrus. I also love sleeping under duvets prepared by other people!
posted by amtho at 9:47 AM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

More that its presence is a response to anticipated messiness.
posted by amtho at 9:58 AM on December 3, 2016

That makes no sense to me, but whatever helps people get their sexy on in bed is ok in my world. If the sheet helps, more power to you.
posted by Dip Flash at 10:08 AM on December 3, 2016

Ugh, it's just that washing a sheet is a lot easier than washing a duvet. It's thoughtful.
posted by amtho at 10:51 AM on December 3, 2016

Aren't we back around to duvet covers then? Fucking duvet covers?
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 10:55 AM on December 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

More that its presence is a response to anticipated messiness.

so ... it's a giant dick napkin then?
posted by poffin boffin at 11:01 AM on December 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

Some people have a duvet especially for fucking?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:08 AM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

I can't tell if people are actually upset right now.
posted by amtho at 11:17 AM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Washing a sheet is easier than washing a duvet cover. Also a factor: washing machines that are older or smaller; speed of removal from the bed; having additional sheets ready so you don't have to wash dirty ones _immediately_ (especially if you want to sleep in a clean bed right then).

Sheets are also much less expensive to replace than duvet covers, should they be washed so many times that they start to fade.
posted by amtho at 11:20 AM on December 3, 2016

...are you guys coming in your sheets then?
posted by likeatoaster at 11:25 AM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think I would hate having a sheet between me and the blanket/duvet/spread, because wouldn't the topmost thing always slide about on the top sheet and slip off?

That's the part I don't understand about duvets, and I think part of the misunderstanding here; the problem is the duvet, not the sheet. Those stupid things drift and slide all over the place no matter what the arrangement. "They only work right if you don't have anything else on the bed" is a bug, not a feature. We tried to use a duvet and various puffy light comforter things for years until we both just said "what the hell are we doing?" and just got new blankets and quilts. Now nothing moves and everything is cozy and temperature adjustable. The puffy thing is in the shed for use as packing material.

Don't use puffy bedding. Go flat, go layers.
posted by bongo_x at 11:26 AM on December 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

No-one else just takes the covers off whilst having sex?
posted by walrus at 11:27 AM on December 3, 2016

Winter is cold.
posted by amtho at 11:31 AM on December 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

but i am red hot

Well, you are married to a toaster.
posted by i feel possessed at 11:47 AM on December 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

"Winter is cold."

I thought it was coming.
posted by walrus at 11:50 AM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

On the duvet, apparently.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:35 PM on December 3, 2016 [8 favorites]

amtho: Washing a sheet is easier than washing a duvet cover.

In what way? I find it very very similar.
posted by Too-Ticky at 12:38 PM on December 3, 2016

There are different Europes: I grew camp 1 dogmatic German, and have transitioned to camp 2 (only in winter) Italy. Northern Europe is pretty solidly sold on the rationality und frugality of avoiding unnecessary bedding. (Buttons, btw, are now conventionally on the side, so out of the way.) What's mainly operative about the Italian way, in my experience, is a modesty-driven approach to bedtime etiquette: pajamas are the general rule (where up north nights are as often in the mude as they might be clothed), and sheets are attributed a primary sanitary/hygenic purpose, beyond thermics or creature comforts.
posted by progosk at 12:45 PM on December 3, 2016

The whole sheets/no sheets when fucking question is just reminding me of a bit from Billy Connolly where he said that it's impossible to have sex on nylon sheets "because ye can't get any purchase".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:52 PM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

We have two duvets (each covered separately) for optimal burritoing.

And of course a top sheet, because America is great again and Trump won, get over it.



Although I only just now realized the top sheet must get shoved aside somewhere during the individual burritoing process. Maybe the cat's using it.

Also, am I the only one that finds it hilarious to make the bed on top of Cat who refuses to move? I like watching the lump slowly move under the two duvets and slink out the side of the bed...
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:57 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

the surliest lil spooky ghost
posted by poffin boffin at 1:13 PM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: optimal burritoing.
posted by sammyo at 1:28 PM on December 3, 2016

Washing a sheet is easier than washing a duvet cover.

In what way? I find it very very similar.

The struggle (admittedly brief) to get it off/on the duvet is part of it, but mostly it's the sheer size of the thing, plus the fact that it gets tangled up in everything. You generally need to wash it alone in a load so that the water can circulate properly to clean it. Then there's the struggle to wrangle the huge thing without dragging it on the ground and without overly wrinkling it. That plus the time pressure of (generally) having only one duvet cover makes it a bit of an ordeal.
posted by amtho at 1:51 PM on December 3, 2016

The struggle (admittedly brief) to get it off/on the duvet is part of it, but mostly it's the sheer size of the thing, plus the fact that it gets tangled up in everything. You generally need to wash it alone in a load so that the water can circulate properly to clean it. Then there's the struggle to wrangle the huge thing without dragging it on the ground and without overly wrinkling it.

Are we talking about the same thing? My duvet cover is basically like two sheets that have been sewn together, with buttons at the bottom to close it up. I just ball it up and throw it in a load with my other lights. The only issue is that I have to close it up so nothing gets stuck in it during washing, or else sometimes I find a sock in one of the corners and inevitably neither the sock nor the corner gets dry in the drier. Other than that, it's not any more difficult to wash than a top sheet would be.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 1:57 PM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

What ArbitraryAndCapricious said. And we have three duvet covers here in Chez Too-Ticky, each with matching pillow cases. I dry them outside when the weather permits, it doesn't crease them like the dryer does.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:02 PM on December 3, 2016

It's not a back-breaker, but it is a significant difference in volume and time. Enough that using a sheet makes sense, especially if you multiply the differences weekly over the course of years. I don't feel the need to own multiple covers, this way, also.
posted by amtho at 2:12 PM on December 3, 2016

Then there's the struggle to wrangle the huge thing without dragging it on the ground and without overly wrinkling it. That plus the time pressure of (generally) having only one duvet cover makes it a bit of an ordeal.

Either you're have a tiny washing machine and a tiny budget for duvet covers, or you're not talking about the same kind of duvet covers as most others seem to be talking about, because they're neither very expensive nor anything that you'd only have one set of (because that makes changing your bedlinen a bit impractical).
posted by effbot at 2:12 PM on December 3, 2016

On the subject of duvet covers, I feel we haven't yet covered the most important question: satin, linen, egyptian cotton, or something too terrible to contemplate?
posted by walrus at 2:14 PM on December 3, 2016

On the subject of duvet covers, I feel we haven't yet covered the most important question: satin, linen, egyptian cotton, or something too terrible to contemplate?

Fiberglass insulation?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:19 PM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

To be clear, that's the "too terrible to contemplate."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:20 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

It would probably be quite warm though.
posted by walrus at 2:21 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Team two - and I wash sheets AND duvet cover weekly.
Cotton fitted sheet, cotton top sheet, cotton duvet cover.
I wash the pillows and sheets in one load, and the duvet cover gets its own load because of the dangers of other clothing getting stuck inside it and never getting dry.
posted by seawallrunner at 2:23 PM on December 3, 2016

My clothes washer is from, I think, the 1980's. I do suspect it's a bit smaller than some other washers. Maybe. Plus I think it's using a little less water than it's supposed to. It's tempting to get a new one, but knowing the amount of stuff that goes into manufacturing a large appliance I just can't justify it to myself. I ordered agitator dogs for it last week.

That, and my closets/storage are stuffed full and I'm trying to avoid owning more stuff than is absolutely necessary.

However, I honestly did not know one could purchase duvet covers for less than $50, so thanks for that.
posted by amtho at 3:09 PM on December 3, 2016

satin, linen, egyptian cotton, or something too terrible to contemplate?

Flannel. Year round.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 3:28 PM on December 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

For my tactilly sensitive skin, satin is too terrible to contemplate. (Or, what jessamyn said.)
posted by Melismata at 3:42 PM on December 3, 2016

A flannel is way too small to keep you warm in the winter. It probably suits everyone who struggles with washing and changing duvet covers i suppose.
posted by biffa at 4:12 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

satin, linen, egyptian cotton, or something too terrible to contemplate?

a swarm of furious bees loyal only to me
posted by poffin boffin at 4:15 PM on December 3, 2016 [6 favorites]

Flannel. Year round.

That is the "something too terrible to contemplate" option for some. I am ok with flannel in cold weather, but not a fan at all during the other three seasons. And maybe I've only slept on cheap flannel, but I found that it pilled and wore out much more quickly than other sheets.

I associate satin sheets with gross 1980s activities, and would want to scan them for stray bodily fluids before going to bed.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:21 PM on December 3, 2016

What's driving me crazy a bit right now is that it seems like--I can get a plain white percale cotton sheet set from Target for like $30. But an equivalent duvet cover? I can't even get one of those there. And most of their duvet covers generally are much more expensive than sheets. It seems like I'm looking at $80 or $100 for a decent percale duvet cover. So right now I have a $30 cover, and it's polyester, and I really don't like the feel of it at all. It does seem like if you're picky about what's against your skin, going duvet-only is the more expensive option by a long shot.
posted by Sequence at 5:05 PM on December 3, 2016

Get thee to IKEA, Sequence.
posted by mochapickle at 5:29 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

I only pay about £20 for a double egyptian cotton duvet cover and pillow cases in the UK. Affordable luxury.
posted by walrus at 5:57 PM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

I stayed at an Airbnb that had POLYESTER SATIN SHEETS IN THE SUMMER and it was just terrible. And THEIR HEAT WAS ON despite it being 80 degrees outside. All I can figure is they had relocated from central Hell and were homesick.
posted by blnkfrnk at 7:16 PM on December 3, 2016 [5 favorites]

I guess I had a duvet growing up but I called it a comforter. Sometimes I would open up the cover and crawl inside with a flashlight and read a book and pretend I was camping in my own personal tent. Those were the days.
posted by ferret branca at 8:18 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

I associate satin sheets with gross 1980s activities,

I think they're kind of hot too.
posted by bongo_x at 8:46 PM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Today is my 46th birthday. I have lots of beer and pips made me linguine with shrimp and garlic. And through some beautiful act of fate The Last Waltz was on PBS tonight.

*wanders into the mist singing Ophelia*
posted by jonmc at 8:55 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Happy garlicky birthday!
posted by lazuli at 9:00 PM on December 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thanks. As great as the garlic was, the Last Waltz was the divine intervention moment. That movie is one of my rock n roll spirit pit stops, and I lost my copy when we moved to the Bronx, so it was soooo welcome.
posted by jonmc at 9:06 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

warriorqueen: "Who has sex under a sheet? I thought that was a media convention for the cameras."

See the aforementioned 10 degree bedroom. When things are first getting started and subsequently somewhere in the second hour when the initial pace has slowed down a bit one can get chilly.
posted by Mitheral at 9:07 PM on December 3, 2016

(and tommorrow we're gonna see Rev Horton Heat and Nashville Pussy live)

*shuts up thanks everyone for birthday indulgence*
posted by jonmc at 9:08 PM on December 3, 2016

mochapickle, Ikea doesn't seem to have anything solid white in percale. Or at least, not that they actually describe as percale, and the lack of information and the really low thread counts seem a bit worrisome. (It's not everything, but it's not nothing, either.) I don't have one locally to go see in person, though, and I get the feeling Ikea's not terribly concerned about selling a lot of sheets through its website.
posted by Sequence at 9:46 PM on December 3, 2016

Duvet or not duvet?
That is the question.

Or is it better to quilt while you're abed?

I am uncomforterble
And I'm losing my sheet,
For I doona know the answer.
posted by valetta at 12:34 AM on December 4, 2016 [6 favorites]

More that its presence is a response to anticipated messiness.

so ... it's a giant dick napkin then?

Some people in the UK apparently just use a Penis Beaker.
posted by Kabanos at 5:59 AM on December 4, 2016

I get the feeling Ikea's not terribly concerned about selling a lot of sheets through its website.

I agree, Ikea is great in person but not so great online. The last time I needed a duvet cover and couldn't make it to Ikea, I found the best options came from checking sale items at places like West Elm -- excellent quality, and very low prices in the clearance section. I think I paid less than $50 for a king sized cover made from very nice material. Places like Bed Bath and Beyond sell very cheap duvet covers as well. I've never seen them at Target or Walmart but they might be there, I don't know.

So while the cost is usually going to be higher than the cheapest of sheet sets, it also doesn't need to be outrageous, and I guess you could claim a savings in that the duvet cover can take the place both of the top sheet and of a decorative bedspread.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:05 AM on December 4, 2016

All I know is that when I went to bed last night, I was under a top sheet, blanket, and duvet, and when I woke up I was under a top sheet and my fiancee had rolled herself into a burrito
posted by dismas at 7:48 AM on December 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

satin, linen, egyptian cotton, or something too terrible to contemplate?

Diamond plate
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:10 AM on December 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

Some people in the UK apparently just use a Penis Beaker.

This is the line that finally got Dr Bunsen Honeydew suspended.
posted by biffa at 11:41 AM on December 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

Which was thoroughly unfair- Beaker swore like a sailor for years, but since it was all censored in post, it wasn't a big deal. What, you thought he really said nothing but "meep"?
posted by zamboni at 3:23 PM on December 4, 2016 [4 favorites]

"duvet stuffer" sounds like a fun insult.

"What are you, some kind of duvet stuffer?"
posted by Evilspork at 3:27 PM on December 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

What's driving me crazy a bit right now is that it seems like--I can get a plain white percale cotton sheet set from Target for like $30. But an equivalent duvet cover? I can't even get one of those there. And most of their duvet covers generally are much more expensive than sheets. It seems like I'm looking at $80 or $100 for a decent percale duvet cover.

My solution was to buy two $30 sheets and sew them together. Boom, $60 duvet cover.
posted by BrashTech at 5:45 PM on December 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

Flannel fitted sheet, flannel flat sheet, wool blanket, duvet in duvet cover, second wool blanket, second duvet in duvet cover, mohair throw, and zero-to-two cats. Welcome to Ottawa; winter is coming.
posted by heatherlogan at 5:48 PM on December 4, 2016 [6 favorites]

I have no actual preference, but I do trust that all the commenters here take their shoes off in the bed. Er, house.
posted by Ideefixe at 9:50 PM on December 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

My solution was to buy two $30 sheets and sew them together. Boom, $60 duvet cover.

If you only sew them down 2 sides then put fasteners on the other two then it will be easier to change the duvet. (I guess someone has already said this somewhere in these threads but I can't face reading this much duvet fluff.)
posted by biffa at 8:17 AM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I can get a plain white percale cotton sheet set from Target for like $30. But an equivalent duvet cover? I can't even get one of those there. And most of their duvet covers generally are much more expensive than sheets

They don't seem to be super expensive in Canada.

IKEA cotton-poly duvet sets (cover + 2 pillow cases) run $40 to $60, on sale $30. They last 10-15 years. We've also bought from local linens stores, but those were not as good for more money. Higher end ones can be had at the Bay for $60 and up, yeah, topping at over $300 a set, but those are high-thread count Egyptian. Amazon.ca is roughly similar to the Bay's pricing, in the $60 to $100 range per set. All values CAD, ofc.

We buy most of ours from IKEA.
posted by bonehead at 9:22 AM on December 5, 2016

In response to this thread, I (a life-long top sheeter) attempted this weekend to sleep with just a duvet (covered) and a fitted sheet. I tossed and turned and tried to get comfortable for hours until, at 5am, I got up and put the top sheet back on the bed. It was easily in my top-three worst sleeps ever.
posted by zebra at 11:04 AM on December 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

What does Next Weekend mean? is another great You Do What? thread.
posted by soelo at 11:09 AM on December 5, 2016 [6 favorites]

To the tune of "Eleanor Rigby":

Duvet and top sheet
keeping the grease from infesting the linens you see
clean as can be
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:37 AM on December 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

Never did find out what happened to that thanksgiving bottle of tequila.
posted by fixedgear at 11:44 AM on December 5, 2016

So my new revelation is that most people aren't just tolerating them because they're cheap, most people genuinely don't mind non-100%-cotton sheets. Which is good for most people! Not so good for me, but I guess I'll cope. I'm debating the sewing project but probably just going to buy something more expensive. I always figured that not preferring sateen to percale made me a little weird, but I apparently have a very, very, very narrow range of acceptable sensory input when it comes to bedsheets. I've never found another fabric that isn't either "too smooth" or "too scratchy" and both are sleep-disruptors for me.
posted by Sequence at 12:13 PM on December 5, 2016

Canada. Two.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:24 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

So I've heard people talk about putting two duvets inside a single duvet cover in the winter, anybody tried that? I'd give it a shot if I could afford to blow some cash on a second duvet for the sake of experimentation...
posted by showbiz_liz at 12:49 PM on December 5, 2016

IKEA sheets and duvet covers get very soft after multiple washes. And, overstock.com has been a good source for bargains on bedding, IME.
posted by bendy at 1:00 PM on December 5, 2016

I used to keep a standard old fashioned American style bed of mattress pad, heated bed pad, fitted sheet, flat sheet, cotton comforter, quilt. Always wore a nightgown and laundered the sheets every couple of weeks.

Then the depression overwhelmed me and the last time I washed the sheets, a month ago, i just tossed them in a heap on the bed. Pulled the comforter over the heating pad and let the foot of the bed eat the quilt. Now I sleep in my clothes on top of the comforter and pulled the wadded sheets and assorted dirty clothes on top of me when I get cold.

I used to watch the Hoarders show and noticed that the ones who could still get to their bed slept in a pile of stuff. I am doing a modified version.

I've greatly enjoyed reading about y'all's bedmakings and I hope it inspires me to get those sheets back on the bed and me in between them.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:14 PM on December 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

I'd like something that's just like a set of cotton sheets, but breathable and not too stiff or heavy. What should I be looking for -- sateen? Percale? Low thread count?

Percale's usually more breathable than sateen, so you could go for something equivalent to the fitted sheets you like. Or if you want to try linen (super light and breathable), Ikea's got the cheapest regular-price linen duvet covers (LINBLOMMA). They start out very stiff, but are comfortable against skin after one wash and get softer with every wash. A clothes dryer is not required for this effect, but it would probably help speed things along.
posted by asperity at 1:41 PM on December 5, 2016

So, am I missing something here, or does Ikea US just assume Americans don't know what a duvet is? I see duvet covers for sale, but the only duvets I see are actually categorized as "comforters" and don't show up as duvets when I search.
posted by rmd1023 at 1:46 PM on December 5, 2016

So I've heard people talk about putting two duvets inside a single duvet cover in the winter, anybody tried that? I'd give it a shot if I could afford to blow some cash on a second duvet for the sake of experimentation...

Yep, mine is designed to do that. The two thinner duvets click together at each corner to make an extra puffy warmer one. It's great, the cats jump on it and sink down almost out of sight, like a snow drift :-)
posted by kitten magic at 3:00 PM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: 340 comments with regards to duvets, covers, sheets, as side gossip to an ask me.

I was so cold, I had piled up top sheet, two quilts, then threw the duvet on the top. Then I was being crushed, when I realized the duvet would do the whole thing, with the sheet. Hell yeah! One sheet, one duvet, light as a feather, and perfect. I know someone else made this exact same comment.
posted by Oyéah at 8:50 PM on December 5, 2016

My Non-Summer bed strata is as follows:

Blanket
Quilt
Light duvet
Light quilt
Sheet
Pillow, me
Fitted sheet - Can't be too smooth or it feels slimy (Ew, silk), but not too rough or pilly (Ow, flannel) for delicate me
Mattress
Boxspring
Floor

I like being all cosied up/pinned down; if I could get one of those lead aprons they put on you for x-rays tossed on top I'd be pretty happy.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:47 AM on December 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

Alvy, they sell weighted blankets for people with sensory processing disorder. They're rather expensive but sturdy and it might be the top layer you're after!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 4:06 AM on December 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

if I could get one of those lead aprons they put on you for x-rays tossed on top I'd be pretty happy.

Same. I weighed my blankets once and it came in at about 25lbs. I have a winter weight king sized duvet with a flannel cover and then another sheeps wool duvet (is it still a duvet if it's wool?) on top of that and then the usual blankets and I basically can't move at all. Bonus: when you change the sheets over to flannel in the winter, it's basically like sleeping in velcro with your flannel jammies.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 6:31 AM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Question everyone's been tiptoeing around: Camp 2, how do you let the farts out with your flat sheet hindering effective wafting?
posted by scruss at 7:54 AM on December 6, 2016

How do non-flat-sheet folks Dutch Oven their partner?
posted by muddgirl at 8:02 AM on December 6, 2016

Ooh, I'll have to look into those weighted blankets, thank you!! I don't think I have a sensory processing disorder (well, maybe somewhat) as much as I have the need to make sure that not even one partial toe is out from under the blanket when it's below 80°F in the room.
posted by Melismata at 8:03 AM on December 6, 2016

We have cats who have this magical quality of increasing in size and mass in the night when they are on the bed. They are extremely effective weights.
posted by rtha at 8:10 AM on December 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

What should I be looking for -- sateen? Percale? Low thread count?

phatkitten, I sleep hot too and I love percale - it's crisp and doesn't cling to your body. We have percale sheets from Target that are reasonably priced and great, and a percale duvet cover from Brooklinen that is less reasonably priced and also great.
posted by insectosaurus at 10:35 AM on December 6, 2016

" don't think I have a sensory processing disorder (well, maybe somewhat)"

The big thing I have learned is that we're all on the sensory processing spectrum and most of us manage to reduce it to pen-clicking or foot-jiggling or whatever but some of us have larger sensory needs. ANYWAY sensory processing disorder websites have the BEST objects which feel SO GOOD regardless of where you are on the sensory processing spectrum because they're all full of scientific research on how to make a perfect fidget toy/awesome blanket/spectacular headphones. I do not have the sensory needs of my SPD child, but OMG I play with his sensory toys all the time because they feel so good.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 9:32 PM on December 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

“Question everyone's been tiptoeing around: Camp 2, how do you let the farts out with your flat sheet hindering effective wafting?”

The various blankets & quilts & sheets are tucked carefully around me, breathing parts on the outside, farting parts on the inside. Wafting would be unnecessary and counterproductive.
posted by traveler_ at 11:24 PM on December 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

Where's a good place to get flannel bathrobes these days, btw? I'd have gone with LLBean for me and my sweetie but it looks like their quality is iffy now. We just got the Pinzon flannel sheets that sleeplikethedead recommends, but we need more flannel in our lives.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:32 PM on December 6, 2016

I keep forgetting just how freaking American I am. I'm in camp "what the fuck is a duvet and also why"

so the thing about the top sheet is that it actually keeps the blankets from moving with me when I roll around, because the top sheet is tucked in, and it's a slightly smoother surface than the wool or synthetic blankets I have. If I try to burrito, I end up not actually covered by the blanket because it goes off the side.
posted by Rainbo Vagrant at 3:22 PM on December 7, 2016

I think I would hate having a sheet between me and the blanket/duvet/spread, because wouldn't the topmost thing always slide about on the top sheet and slip off?

Not unless it's satin? Cotton sheets don't make things slide, generally.

But I agree the top sheet/no top sheet thing is much more about "how hot and sweaty does it get at night where you are." We have very thin blanket for summer and a heavier one for winter, and we wash them periodically but don't muck around with covers on them. Sheets get changed every week.

We only moved to Big Winter Blanket last weekend; it was 70 degrees for much of November here. Tonight we get a freeze. We need a system that adapts quickly, is what I'm saying.
posted by emjaybee at 8:40 AM on December 8, 2016

Camp 2, how do you let the farts out with your flat sheet hindering effective wafting?

Aim ass outwards, lift sheet and flap briefly? If you are wrapping yourself in a sheet I guess it's harder but we don't do that.
posted by emjaybee at 8:43 AM on December 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

press buttocks to your sleeping partner's unsuspecting leg, release your vile bounty, cackle.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:02 AM on December 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

So I normally sleep with fitted sheet, flat sheet, blanket, comforter, and cat(s). Most nights my temperature varies. Sometimes I sleep with all layers, sometimes one or two or none. I don't mean that this varies with the change of seasons, I mean this varies from night to night and within the night itself. I can't imagine my options being one or none. Warmth is a spectrum!
posted by AFABulous at 11:28 AM on December 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

MetaTalk: breathing parts on the outside, farting parts on the inside
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:25 AM on December 10, 2016 [7 favorites]

I wanted to thank all the commenters on this post. After a draining and exhausting November, this thread was like a soft, warm, soothing top sheet comforter duvet blanket for my soul.
posted by i feel possessed at 3:40 PM on December 10, 2016 [3 favorites]

An annoying heavy thing that makes me sweat just thinking about it.

Cheap duvets might be heavy. The pure goose down ones are as just light as you'd expect goose down to be.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:51 AM on December 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm late to the discussion, lack the time to read all.
Does no one seem to understand, many of us have a legitimate problem with anything being tucked in at the bottom, when our feet are underneath? This is a well-documented part of the problem known as "restless leg syndrome", or RLS.
posted by Goofyy at 3:57 AM on December 20, 2016