matcha with tears

February 16, 2020 9:17 AM

Fizz and I often joke about how random or out-of-context phrases or clauses that we either say or overhear in conversation would "make a great Metafilter username." Since we almost never bother to write them down, we've forgotten many of our favorites. Now that we plan to start writing them down, we thought we'd have some fun and put the question out to the community: what random phrases or expressions have you said or overheard that you think would make a great Metafilter username? (Fun bonus question: what out-of-context Metafilter comment snippets do you think would make great Metafilter usernames?)

This is freeform, go nuts.

posted by nightrecordings to MetaFilter-Related at 9:17 AM (144 comments total)

Mine? I mean I overheard it in my own head, but I still think that counts. I was coming down a department store escalator at christmas and there were some big (life-size) penguin ornaments standing guard at the bottom of the escalator and I randomly thought "If only I had a penguin..."

Now here i am!
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 9:41 AM on February 16, 2020 [11 favorites]

This is freeform, go nuts.
posted by michaelh at 10:49 AM on February 16, 2020 [9 favorites]

Not quite what you are asking but close enough...

I've always thought pony related user nameswould go good here 'a wondering pony', 'the pony express', 'unrecognized pony' , 'the pony worth a thousand words' etc etc etc.
posted by AlexiaSky at 10:56 AM on February 16, 2020 [7 favorites]

I HEARD A CHEESE WRAPPER
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 10:57 AM on February 16, 2020 [7 favorites]

Starbucks kim chee (origin story of the phrase here.)
posted by creepygirl at 10:57 AM on February 16, 2020 [2 favorites]

Spinch.
posted by Scattercat at 11:11 AM on February 16, 2020 [5 favorites]

Geez, a substantial portion of my 9000+ Metafilter and Metatalk comments are of the "[found phrase in thread] would make a great band/user name" type.

By the way, "found phrase in thread" would be a good username...
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:20 AM on February 16, 2020 [5 favorites]

Mod note: Floam, try harder to not look like a troll. Thanks.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 11:42 AM on February 16, 2020 [4 favorites]

“Not looking like a troll thanks” would, of course, be a fairly presentable username.
posted by Namlit at 11:45 AM on February 16, 2020 [10 favorites]

There’s a lot of “that would make a great indie band name” in my circles. I think most of them would also make great Metafilter usernames. Most recent one was “duct tape elevator.”
posted by brook horse at 11:54 AM on February 16, 2020 [3 favorites]

Clavses!
posted by clavdivs at 12:09 PM on February 16, 2020 [11 favorites]

eternity in sixteenth notes
posted by eirias at 12:33 PM on February 16, 2020 [4 favorites]

Allegro moderato [staff]
posted by Namlit at 12:38 PM on February 16, 2020 [8 favorites]

From right now in the shop referring to a fuzzy boy who came indoors:

“Bumble bee emergency”
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:55 PM on February 16, 2020 [13 favorites]

a solution neatly divided into problems
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 1:14 PM on February 16, 2020 [18 favorites]

murder kitten and murder victim kitten
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:33 PM on February 16, 2020 [4 favorites]

hey nonny not
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:34 PM on February 16, 2020 [2 favorites]

“Not looking like a troll thanks” would, of course, be a fairly presentable username.

A fairly presentable username
posted by Wordshore at 2:04 PM on February 16, 2020 [19 favorites]

If I could go back and pick another user name, it would be “Brimming with post-apocalyptic cheer,” which was a how a friend of mine once described a particularly depressing resort he went to somewhere near Brighton.
posted by holborne at 2:48 PM on February 16, 2020 [12 favorites]

I briefly considered “wonder-loving grandmothers” and “fragrant chariot” as user names.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:05 PM on February 16, 2020 [7 favorites]

it_vibrates
posted by googly at 3:31 PM on February 16, 2020 [2 favorites]

I had a list of puns that I ended up using for Carbon 7 song titles, but there’s still a couple kicking around - Sponge Bob Newhart & Gas Stations of the Cross are a couple I’ve written down.
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:31 PM on February 16, 2020 [14 favorites]

Are you nuts? I'm not sharing my stash of top shelf MetaFilter parachute account names!

Nice try though.
posted by ODiV at 3:58 PM on February 16, 2020 [9 favorites]

I almost went with "sea pancake". Still have regrets about that.
posted by bile and syntax at 3:59 PM on February 16, 2020 [7 favorites]

I just remembered one uttered by dr. dank about four years back: "teetering ominously near the mise en place". I'm not able to explain why the phrase delights me as much as it does. Ever since I saw it I've been waiting to use it in an appropriate context, but no luck so far.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:14 PM on February 16, 2020 [5 favorites]

“Bumble bee emergency”

Busy bee emergency!!
posted by sallybrown at 4:51 PM on February 16, 2020 [1 favorite]

I've been rereading Pattern Recognition, and Cayce's calming mantra "he took a duck to the face" or just "a duck to the face" could be a pretty solid username.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:00 PM on February 16, 2020 [5 favorites]

Also, from previous threads:

sizable mouse
Fishery Barometer Manual
raging cloth boners jutting through their puffy culottes
Oh, my fiery feet
gas-tight Mylar pantaloons
3200 Phaethon
The Squirrel from the Earth
male-gaziest Updikean article
microsegmented chitonous plates
The golden age of the sinkpissers
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:52 PM on February 16, 2020 [9 favorites]

Hell hath no Furby
rotten octopus
only then did we realize
huitlacoche
camphor belle
10 short
Willie Gizzler
posted by briank at 8:01 PM on February 16, 2020 [7 favorites]

~~ sunlight on the wings of birds
~~ all watched over by machines of loving grace
~~~~~ Richard Brautigan

~~ Live forever or die trying.
~~~~~ Yossarian, via Joseph Heller

Here are some I've just dreamed up —
~~ Austin Dreams
~~ gleaming metallic stands of glass
~~ shards of my heart
~~ thrown but I kept hold the rein
~~ gorgeous soft gray November days
~~ colors streaming across the canvas
~~ colors streaming across the skies of my heart
~~ I don't need to go to the hospital
~~ the heartbreaking love of a liar
~~ don't just do something — stand there

I wouldn't use but Austin Dreams* or shards of my heart but I like the others, just because.
* gleaming metallic stands of glass is looking at Austin from the west at sunset, hell of a show

I don't have a sock puppet but I've got a name for one should I ever need to put it into action but I won't tell you that one.
posted by dancestoblue at 8:09 PM on February 16, 2020 [3 favorites]

Phrases I say regularly to dogs which would make good usernames: A poem

Oh Huggy
Drop it drop it drop it
That is not your room
That is not your toy
What is it, bug?
Wiggle butt wiggle butt dog
Knock it off and go to sleep!
I’m a mean old momma but I like you
Who is the sweet boy?
Get down from there!
Stairs up! Stairs up! Good boy!
No treat for you.
Stop licking feet!
What are you chewing?
Do you have to poop right here?
posted by frumiousb at 8:20 PM on February 16, 2020 [12 favorites]

Jellyfish Grenade
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 8:42 PM on February 16, 2020 [1 favorite]

And one I saw from an excellent meme, the existence of rough jazz
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 8:46 PM on February 16, 2020 [9 favorites]

I'll have a bit of a think, but right as I clicked on this thread Rik Mayall shouted from the telly "Now look here you roustabouts!" and I'm not sure I can beat that with anything from memory.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:57 PM on February 16, 2020 [5 favorites]

"Dubious Banana"
I thought of it as a DJ name, but it could work as a username too...
posted by Zumbador at 9:08 PM on February 16, 2020 [4 favorites]

Meanwhile Bob Pollard eagerly refreshes this thread for new song titles...
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 9:11 PM on February 16, 2020 [4 favorites]

the existence of rough jazz

If you told me that phrase came from an Achewood comic, I wouldn't doubt you one bit.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:31 PM on February 16, 2020 [3 favorites]

just depraved or food goop spring to mind.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:53 PM on February 16, 2020 [1 favorite]

i just about daily think of something that would be a better user name. can't think of any right at this moment. just today, while considering a ... discursive rant i ultimately didn't type out (in favor of a terse attempted pun-driven, metatextual gloss), i was struck by the phrase "idiom creep." not sure i'd want that to be my principal identity here.

i constantly spawn pseudonyms, but i usually keep them to myself. huh, how 'bout "pseudonym-spawning introvert."

an ongoing destructive writing project, i keep a list of notable malapropisms and egregious or irksome syntax failures from among the generally senior-VP-level fortune-500 execs, and their ilk, whose email traffic i read for job, and periodically produce pieces of hostile dada text, typically entitled "sic, or [some mangled language]."
posted by 20 year lurk at 10:24 PM on February 16, 2020 [2 favorites]

I was making one of my first internet accounts, must have been back in the late ninety's, and was suggested Razor Pancake. I never used it, but it's made me laugh for more than 20 years.
posted by Carillon at 10:39 PM on February 16, 2020 [3 favorites]

Clearly: “pun-driven, metatextual gloss”
posted by Tiny Bungalow at 11:18 PM on February 16, 2020 [4 favorites]

What makes something a good username, though? They all seem random to me. Is randomness the only criterion?
posted by Omnomnom at 1:19 AM on February 17, 2020

CROCKETY BLOAT

or

did I throw a throne last night?
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:32 AM on February 17, 2020 [3 favorites]

Or a particularly euphonious sound. Something that makes you smile.
posted by Scattercat at 1:33 AM on February 17, 2020

The Ladylike Elegance of... Murder
It came up in the brainstorming of a fashion show I am doing and I didn't know what to do with it until this.
posted by Tchad at 2:49 AM on February 17, 2020 [3 favorites]

With a few rare exceptions, every Guided By Voices song title that isn't already claimed would make a good username. Or band name.
posted by ardgedee at 3:19 AM on February 17, 2020

> Meanwhile Bob Pollard eagerly refreshes this thread for new song titles...

DAMMIT
posted by ardgedee at 3:23 AM on February 17, 2020 [1 favorite]

Eagerly Refreshes

[what was I thinking...]
posted by Namlit at 3:58 AM on February 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

I have jotted down some over the years, tucked away at the bottom of my profile page. Looking back on them, I still like Bag-a-Banthas, something my wife or I said when riffing on the jumbling the sounds of agapanthus.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:02 AM on February 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

All I can think of now is this winner by mbrubeck (warning, The Good Place spoilers), but It seems there's already a song and a movie named that so I'm not sure it's original enough for a username. I think it's pretty obvious which part of that comment is the potential username.

Also, "not original enough for a username" might do in a pinch.
posted by Tehhund at 7:30 AM on February 17, 2020

> ODiV: Are you nuts? I'm not sharing my stash of top shelf MetaFilter parachute account names!

I've often regretted that I didn't just use something more related to my actual name (and less related to TMNT) when I signed up. If it didn't mean losing all my precious favorites, I would probably switch to Brand New Dave.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:42 AM on February 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

Byzantin3Lawz0fLicht3nstin3
posted by Oyéah at 8:49 AM on February 17, 2020 [1 favorite]

Plat0B3anz
posted by Oyéah at 8:50 AM on February 17, 2020

a yam doomed by a moody baby
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 8:59 AM on February 17, 2020 [1 favorite]

long time ago I used to build computers for fun so I always thought the band name Heatsink would be funny because of course supporters of the band Heatsink would be Heatsink Fans

"Yeah I'm a big Heatsink fan"

nowadays I'd change it up to something like Radiator or Bathroom (Radiator fans, Bathroom fans)
posted by some loser at 9:09 AM on February 17, 2020 [8 favorites]

Butterside Downs
posted by aubilenon at 9:18 AM on February 17, 2020 [8 favorites]

my boss was texting me some menu info yesterday and wrote honey mustangs instead of honey mustard.
posted by vrakatar at 9:56 AM on February 17, 2020 [6 favorites]

N0bl3Cuvs3s!
posted by Oyéah at 10:17 AM on February 17, 2020

Aunti30n3P3rc3nt$
posted by Oyéah at 10:20 AM on February 17, 2020

I have considered using lasagna whale, after my initial best shot at reading a particularly awful scrawled answer on a genetics exam several years ago.

(I believe the student was attempting to say "lesion bypass," from additional context. Probably. I'm pretty sure.)
posted by sciatrix at 10:50 AM on February 17, 2020 [9 favorites]

(the eternal ache of an unclosed parenthesis
posted by Corvid at 12:13 PM on February 17, 2020 [19 favorites]

On my bike ride last night, after posting here, two other nicks using shards came to mind:
~~ shards of color
~~ shards of deep rich blues


~~ days of solid marble
from a line of Brautigan's that I love, from his last book -- An Unfortunate Woman -- which some see as his suicide note but I see as an acheful goodbye from a lost and broken man. Here it is in context, which is also in my profile:
It would be convenient if one could redesign the past, change a few things here and there, like certain acts of outrageous stupidity, but if one could do that, the past would always be in motion. It would never settle down finally to days of solid marble.
-- Richard Brautigan
posted by dancestoblue at 12:20 PM on February 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

So on a recent train journey I noticed a sign about emergencies, and how you should stay on the train if possible, but evacuate if there's fire. To that end, use the doors, or break a window using the emergency hammers provided.

So I propose: "emergency hammers provided".
posted by Dysk at 12:32 PM on February 17, 2020 [4 favorites]

I wrote an essay on HUAC. Part of it read:
"Which begs the question, if collectively a system based on fear equated with freedom and ones duty to inform attacks Hollywood, it as if people are all living in Gary Cooper's crane shot." (in reference to 'High Noon ')

Gary Cooper's crane shot Is my third alt. Handle.
posted by clavdivs at 12:37 PM on February 17, 2020 [3 favorites]

a meerkat of strange angles
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:15 PM on February 17, 2020 [1 favorite]

I found a few during a quick look back at the last 6 months of my comment history...

User names:

the bellowing of enraged flamingos
Fluffy the Trout
the God of Paperclips
Werther's aficionado
the leeks still taunt
underestimating tarragon
The fish argument in the car
teddy bear scientist's collapsing simulation
daylong omnishambles
sparkling cavity
spooky hut noises
shiny speedy ant
turf-full-of-toes (although I like "toes full of turf" better, it conjures up the wonderful feeling of wiggling one's toes in lush grass)
Reylo Curtains
sandwich shaped bruises
Stage Two butter

Band names:

Pre-Brewed Oolong
Carnian Pluvial Episode (debut album: Meat Rain Time)
Secured Crash Zone
Tube Implosion
Hard Rubbish Day
Robot Bone
Bonobo Ghost Code
Ruptured Globe
The Scablands analysis and Continental Drift
Zucchini Breakthrough
Dunking on Cats
Giant Wheeled Lady Ducks
The Area Guinea Pigs
Satellite Beer Excursion
Creamy Radiation
Four Ibuprofen and a Couple of Gins (smoky blues solo piano album name)
Mauled by Constipated Bears in Hell (album name, clearly for a death metal band))
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:20 PM on February 17, 2020 [3 favorites]

toilet spider
posted by Scattercat at 1:34 PM on February 17, 2020 [4 favorites]

What makes something a good username, though? They all seem random to me.

For me, it's a string of words that just sound amusing together (for personal-quirky-sense-of-humor values of "amusing"); or that plausibly hint at some larger story or event of significance to the user, but that don't provide much illuminating context.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:35 PM on February 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

Clavdivs Vbiqviti Velcro
posted by y2karl at 2:45 PM on February 17, 2020

The first boss I ever had, at a little deli, pronounced balsamic vinegar “balls-o-matic vinegar” and that pings around in my head a lot.

I’ve always wanted to make an (obvious) sock puppet account with the username “the rose bushes have thorns” to use for, uh, thorny questions on AskMe but have been too lazy.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 2:49 PM on February 17, 2020 [10 favorites]

I love this shit.

My current engineering jobby job has this going. Anytime one of us says something that's vaguely inappropriate when taken out of context we add it to the "track list". Once we get 12-16 songs we release the album. Cover art and everything. Songs generally have a theme.

When I was a bike mechanic the master tech in my shop and I were riding trails one night, and we passed some dudes taking a break on the side of a trail, and as we rode past we just caught a snippet of their conversation ".......and then I blew out my nutsack......". So for the rest of our time together in that shop, anytime an employee or customer would say anything that sounded weird, one of us would turn to the other and whisper "blew out my nutsack".
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 2:50 PM on February 17, 2020 [9 favorites]

"plate of shrimp" is a phrase that is part of my vocabulary which I use in reference to strange coincidences. It comes from Repo Man
posted by acidnova at 3:17 PM on February 17, 2020

I call dibs on it for the title of a short story collection that I might try to publish some day, but, "I am not the man who sold you those umbrellas," is the most interesting sentence I've ever ever written. If I could go back and re-name all my online identities with it, I would.

(I've already used "the future killed my dog" for other things.)
posted by eotvos at 3:41 PM on February 17, 2020 [3 favorites]

My wife and I often imagine we'll go on tour, with a new bandname every night. We generally come up with one a day that'd work (yesterday Moist Lettuce would've rocked the house). The clear all-time winner, of course, is our son's appellation for my stepfather and his friends' morning gaggle, The Grandfather Prophets of Doom.
posted by riverlife at 4:34 PM on February 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

Another one I just encountered IRL: visual bacon
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:38 PM on February 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

Midlothian screaming head would be an outstanding username (or band name).
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:16 PM on February 17, 2020 [1 favorite]

A phrase that I misheard something like 20 years ago, which has since been my go-to suggestion when someone is naming a pet / D&D character / actual human child:
LASAGNA JUSTICE
posted by D.Billy at 6:51 PM on February 17, 2020 [5 favorites]

Apropos the provided emergency hammers, via friends who took a trip to Germany in high school and liked inside jokes riffing off of train cabin safety equipment: “The Life-Hammer Giveth.”
posted by Alterscape at 7:06 PM on February 17, 2020 [1 favorite]

“This username is taken”

“I must be new here”
posted by mikepop at 9:05 PM on February 17, 2020 [3 favorites]

since my partner isn't a mefite, around my house this game generally takes the form of "the name of my new punk band" or sometimes it's a new wave band, depending on the sound of the proposed name. My all time favourite?

Grubby Vulva
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:21 PM on February 17, 2020 [4 favorites]

Here’s a partial list of phrases gleaned from comments, post titles, etc, that I considered for BND/sockpuppet purposes at least for long enough to put them on a list.
I think it goes without saying that I will probably never use any of these.

Magnus, P.I.
Grandpa's Attic
Frank Lloyd White
We smart harder
Yung Berg's Yoga Playlist
My Hometown Smelled Quite Nice
shit cake with poop sprinkles
Incredible Hulk's Angry Urethra
Subtle as a brick knife
East, West, Widdershins, Chocolate, Avocado, Riggs, Murtaugh, and Vichyssoise
Butts of the highest order.
Difficulty level: Canada.
Three albums in mono through a box fan
A case of the hiney pucker
Batman the animated series generic criminal
Art soilegelman
stupid tiny ersatz people
Doofus shibboleth
the strongly moldlike intelligence of our economy
ashamed poops in a small office environment
what's this now with the what what
Barfs fire everywhere
Poetry, Counterintelligence, and Soup
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:03 PM on February 17, 2020 [4 favorites]

Paper bag revolver.
posted by clavdivs at 11:52 PM on February 17, 2020 [2 favorites]

The punchline to an adolescent joke about a king who farted (!) in the bath: ‘A Hot Water Bottle and a Bottle of Olives’.
posted by The Patron Saint of Spices at 12:10 AM on February 18, 2020 [2 favorites]

ideo etiam Carolus Ubiquiti baculum potest.

Fresh pressed hankie.
Flattened file cabinet forensic.
Fertile pop machine.
Fergus forgets the basil.
Great, let's blame Kandinsky.
Henry Ford starts the car with a light bulb.
Sorta true
Gunsels under duress.
posted by clavdivs at 1:03 AM on February 18, 2020 [2 favorites]

more magnets

I sometimes wonder where Magnus is now...
posted by goodnight at 4:36 AM on February 18, 2020

full stop,
posted by moonmilk at 4:49 AM on February 18, 2020 [6 favorites]

I've been telling myself for ages that if I start over here, it will be as Birds, Snakes, and Aeroplanes
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:36 AM on February 18, 2020 [4 favorites]

Grubby Vulva

So, Grulva?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:22 AM on February 18, 2020 [4 favorites]

From a meeting I’m in right now: “One’s confusion is not present as it sees everything.”
posted by daisyk at 6:43 AM on February 18, 2020 [1 favorite]

Not Mefi-related, but a few weeks back my son told me that for some reason, you can't enchant a hoe in Minecraft and I think Enchanted Hoe would make a good username or band name.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 7:24 AM on February 18, 2020 [7 favorites]

[powerful gay music]
posted by emjaybee at 12:56 PM on February 18 [+] [!]

This right here.
posted by Fizz at 10:01 AM on February 18, 2020 [4 favorites]

prophylactic hairshirt
posted by eirias at 11:18 AM on February 18, 2020 [2 favorites]

Just from today's H20 Post we have the evergreen

don't forget to poop

drink my own urine
posted by riverlife at 2:07 PM on February 18, 2020 [2 favorites]

As well as:

Butt chugging mud

Anal rehydration
posted by Literaryhero at 4:26 PM on February 18, 2020 [2 favorites]

There’s a lot of “that would make a great indie band name” in my circles.

See also stripper names, like Sarcoxie LaRussell from a road sign in OK/MO. Remember: there are no *bad* stripper names, only niche market stripper names.

Or more specifically male stripper names, like Meat Snacks from a sign over the aisle that tells you what's in the aisle from our nearest fooditorium.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:49 PM on February 18, 2020 [4 favorites]

My collection of alternate identities are based on my life-long love of cartoons and comics, but the only ones I used at MeFi were two characters from the animated Tick: the obviously misspelled Deflatermouse and joyfully redundent Evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight. So many other great character names on that toon, from AmericanMaid and SewerUrchin to ChairfaceChippendale, Thrakkorzog, CaptainMucilage, BabyBoomerangutan, Gesundheitan, Sarcastro, ElSeed, TheOttomanEmpress, PineapplePokopo and UncleCreamy.

But I have 40+ years of cartoonery prior to this to pick from, including CrusaderRabbit, RaglanTiger, DudleyNightshade, TomTerrific, ManfredtheWonderDog, CrabbyAppleton, ColonelBleep (yes, a character by that name had his own show in the '50s), BorisBadenov, Gidney&Cloyd, SnidelyWhiplash, SaltWaterDaffy, ProfessorGizmo, WaldoWigglesworth, OdieColognie, TennesseeTuxedo, PhineasJWhoopie, Superchicken, BaronOttoMatic, and I'm only halfway through the '60s.

And for the record, OneSwellFoop is based on a decades-old spoonerism of the cliche phrase One Fell Swoop, was originally picked for a domain name because I couldn't find a good one based on "Wendell", and became my primary MeFi ID when I decided to drop use of Wendell as a pen name. (It's not the name I was born with but a family story says it came close.)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:54 PM on February 18, 2020 [3 favorites]

Just from today's H20 Post

In a riff on some of the facts in this story from said thread, I'd like to submit "Lake Michigan frisbee water."

Thx.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:13 PM on February 18, 2020 [8 favorites]

I always wanted to create some kind of script / alert if-this-then-that that pinged me whenever the phrase 'overthinking a plate of beans' was mentioned, then have the account called Plate of Beans just state 'You Rang?"
posted by Faintdreams at 5:17 AM on February 19, 2020 [2 favorites]

I also think "I Heard You like Eclectic Jazz" would be a fun username
posted by Faintdreams at 5:19 AM on February 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Hi!
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 5:42 AM on February 19, 2020 [6 favorites]

As a toddler, our son briefly insisted he was changing his name to Action Horse. I was not kleen on that for a legal name, but it would be an A++++ MerFi username.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:12 AM on February 19, 2020 [13 favorites]

Heck with it. I registered Action Horse for him. If that username ever shows up, it will be DOT, Jr.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:24 AM on February 19, 2020 [8 favorites]

I see potential names all the time in passing, but never remember them. The only one that really comes to mind is [SPONSORED POST]
posted by rhizome at 11:44 AM on February 19, 2020 [5 favorites]

now about colonialism
posted by miles per flower at 12:51 PM on February 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

This is just to say
posted by Mchelly at 4:26 PM on February 19, 2020 [7 favorites]

Another one from a non-Metafilter source, just a few moments ago:

the wienies are freezing
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:02 PM on February 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

this morning in the shower I wondered if panini is plural. It is.
panino

poorly-translated bullet point in some motorcycle cover instructions
oxford resistant

from damnyouautocorrect
emergency sex change

fecal transplant

DJ Overshare

hasten jason, bring the basin

the wind was rough along the lough as the ploughman fought through the snow, and though he hiccoughed and coughed, his work was thorough

a little from column a, a little from column b

rocket horse and jet chicken

way too fucking optimistic

to be determined
posted by bendy at 7:49 PM on February 19, 2020 [2 favorites]

somestupidsucker
coronarybypass
failedbrakejob
jawjackin
foundlostmarbles
questionableodor-I had a friend who named his cat this.
posted by Oyéah at 9:03 AM on February 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

Inspired by an episode of Derry Girls:

wee fat furry fucker
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:18 AM on February 20, 2020 [4 favorites]

This is just to say

Is there enough of a username character allowance for William Carlos Williams and the Case of the Pilfered Plums?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:58 AM on February 20, 2020 [7 favorites]

From a book I am reading:
“Call to remove excess or inappropriate reptiles”
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:03 PM on February 20, 2020 [6 favorites]

To quote Bob Dylan in Brownsville Girl,

If there's an original thought out there, I could use one right now.

I see I am in good company.
posted by y2karl at 1:08 PM on February 20, 2020 [3 favorites]

Bill & Ted was his Gilbert Grape, Speed his Titanic
posted by chavenet at 2:38 PM on February 20, 2020 [3 favorites]

Trappers John, surely
posted by mubba at 10:18 PM on February 20, 2020 [3 favorites]

"Yeti of Ill Omen" I hesitate a little to give this up, since it currently returns no google results, but from the english translation of a french documentary about Alexander Mcqueen's fashion shows I saw online a while ago and now can't find anywhere anymore. I think it was a description of a dress from the Horn of Plenty show.
posted by gryftir at 8:32 AM on February 21, 2020 [3 favorites]

from a Master of Orion clone thread .. last year? KilgoreTroutMaskReplica was the gitlab handle of the developer and that would be a dope MF handle as well.
posted by Sauce Trough at 8:53 AM on February 21, 2020 [1 favorite]

Wonton Destruction
posted by some loser at 10:38 AM on February 21, 2020 [5 favorites]

Thousands and Thousands of Rubber Gloves
posted by Lyme Drop at 12:11 PM on February 21, 2020 [4 favorites]

O yee of little haw
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:15 PM on February 21, 2020 [7 favorites]

I called it out as such in the thread where penguinicity first posted it in 2017, but I will repeat "an escalator's graceful failover to stairs".
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:31 PM on February 21, 2020 [7 favorites]

The paper cut of love
posted by LaBellaStella at 7:22 PM on February 21, 2020 [1 favorite]

This thread lends itself to the construction of delightfully absurd sentences and storytelling prompts: "Action Horse handed the meat snacks to the toilet spider, who replied with a particularly euphonious sound...."
posted by Lyme Drop at 9:58 AM on February 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

I'm not ticking

Lord help me, I cannot stop. Is there a self-help group available for People Who Hear User/Band Names Everywhere? "I can't come tonight, I've got a PWHUBNE meeting. No, my shrink says I gotta go."
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:48 PM on February 22, 2020 [2 favorites]

dented cronut
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:24 PM on February 22, 2020

If anyone is seeking inspiration, here's my current favorite spam mail to Mefi:

I simply could not go away your site before suggesting that I actually enjoyed the standard info a person supply for your visitors? Is gonna be back incessantly to check up on new posts you're actually a just right webmaster. The website loading velocity is incredible. It kind of feels that you're doing any distinctive trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you've done a wonderful activity on this topic! we just last week put up a wierd blog I know could be a resource if you have the need for afew of these opportunities and if you're are within the township: [mangled url] Valley Parking for funerals in City, US State.

So many possibilities.
posted by taz (staff) at 12:53 AM on February 23, 2020 [5 favorites]

I think my favorite is "Any Distinctive Trick."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:57 AM on February 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: a wierd blog I know
posted by bendy at 7:08 PM on February 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

We Are Having Meedlenoosh! s/o to Empress Callipygos.
posted by wires at 7:21 AM on February 25, 2020

I'm guessing nobody's still reading this, but I just encountered this one and have to document it somewhere: think-piece snafu
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:56 PM on February 25, 2020 [4 favorites]

New one:

WE ARE A DIGITAL MARKETING COMPANY .WE GIVE SUPPORT FOR YOUR BUSINESS AND MAKE BUTTER.

That's it. That's the whole message.
posted by taz (staff) at 4:43 AM on February 26, 2020 [9 favorites]

Could it have been from... The Evil Business Guy Made of Butter???
posted by moonmilk at 6:06 AM on February 26, 2020 [1 favorite]

Bite Me Gently (originally heard as a proposed band name)
A Rambunctious Peckering
You Know, That Wasn't Mr. Ed's Real Voice On The Show
You Couldn't Hear That, You Weren't In My Ears
Frenulum Papercut Extravaganza
Crevice Talk
The Jacket Buttons Felt Supernumerary
posted by wires at 2:40 PM on February 26, 2020 [3 favorites]

From a more-recent meta:

Thomas Eagleton's depression
posted by riverlife at 5:52 PM on February 26, 2020 [1 favorite]

back incessantly from taz earlier truly speaks to me because that is an entirely too accurate description of myself.
posted by Bella Donna at 6:26 PM on February 26, 2020 [1 favorite]

Has anyone mentioned the classic Ask vs Guess yet? Too insiderish maybe but I like it. Also, as a shout out to nightrecordings and Fizz, flowers in the snow.
posted by Bella Donna at 6:33 PM on February 26, 2020

A Rambunctious Peckering

Replace "peckering" with "puckering" and I think you've really got something!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:33 PM on February 26, 2020 [3 favorites]

Also, from this classic MetaFilter comment, laudanum fugue and pasty warlock. Hat tip to aspersioncast for the memorable imagery.
posted by Bella Donna at 3:53 AM on February 27, 2020 [2 favorites]

fart hoodies for bees (I laughed until tears.)
posted by freethefeet at 3:57 AM on February 27, 2020 [1 favorite]

Wankers Aweigh!
posted by some loser at 8:06 AM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Found two in comments on another site today:

the travesty of the outside world
early construction dirt
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:10 PM on March 5, 2020 [2 favorites]

So my morning routine involves brushing my teeth and splashing my face with water. I am incredibly easily distracted, and often when that happens I end up standing in a room repeating out loud, "What am I looking for?" until I remember what I came to do.

Today I brushed my teeth, immediately forgot what I was supposed to be doing next, and said, "What am I looking for?" And then after a second, "Face water." A second after that: "That would make a good Metafilter username."
posted by brook horse at 6:06 PM on March 5, 2020 [3 favorites]

A recent typo on the blue:
Blank Panda
Seems like a good handle.
posted by Zumbador at 9:01 AM on March 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

Has anyone mentioned the classic Ask vs Guess yet?

Ask vs Guess Cage Match
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:40 AM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]

indignant wildlife
posted by some loser at 4:48 PM on March 14, 2020