I can't stop commenting said Tom threadjackingly

August 7, 2003 2:30 AM

"I couldn't stop posting," said Brad in a one-poster thread. I'm as much for collaborative wordplay as the next guy, but when one person monopolizes a thread like this over the course of several hours, it's the kind of thing that belongs on his own blog.
posted by ed to etiquette/policy at 2:30 AM (36 comments total)

"That's just not kosher", crabbed Tom.
posted by taz at 2:46 AM on August 7, 2003

its better than my previous attempt , i have to say.
i beg for clemency on behalf of my client , your honour ,
he has a rare medical condition , rather like tourettes .
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:05 AM on August 7, 2003

"Call me Mister," said ed, hoarsely.
bradlands.com vs. edrants.com... a MeFi grudgematch.

Maybe if he was going to download his personal collection of Tom Swifties into this Cold Fusion database, he should've done it ten-or-twenty per post, but it fits well in the current "silly season" with Google Voyeurism, the LED webcam and a feud with Linkfilter (not to mention the not-yet-dead Acronym Thread), and it sure beats another thread about who's running for California Governor (Has Mike Hawash filed his papers yet?)
posted by wendell at 4:09 AM on August 7, 2003

Damn, the drugs are kicking in.

Get the fuck away from me, you leathery cheesehostesses! Go model the Jersey dirt!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:46 AM on August 7, 2003

Did I raise trouble?

D-I-R-T? Omigod, he's doing it again!!!
posted by wendell at 4:59 AM on August 7, 2003

"Ed seems to have sour grapes", Tom said chardonnayically.
posted by dash_slot- at 5:05 AM on August 7, 2003

I just looked at that thread for the first time, and realized what this thread was about, and remembered the time I was temporarily banned for doing the same sorta thing with an icebergy partner in crime, except our little adventure was less perhaps somewhat less clever.

Still, what's the harm, eh?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:11 AM on August 7, 2003

Brad has posted 604 comments at Mefi in his three and a half years here—175 of them in that one thread.

I'm not sure whether it's an ironic comment on the collective wordplay in a certain recent thread; genuine enthusiasm for Tom Swifties (we reveal ourselves in strange ways); or a cynical one-off attempt to increase his post count by fifty percent, for reasons unknown.

Whichever it is, it's impressive. And a prime candidate for RSI of the index finger from clicking the Post button.

Tom Swifty punchline removed on medical advice.
posted by rory at 6:18 AM on August 7, 2003

was less perhaps somewhat less clever

Story of life mine be do, also too much.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:40 AM on August 7, 2003

I think it's gorgeous and amazing. I'm envious.

heh: bereft
posted by gleuschk at 7:13 AM on August 7, 2003

Sour grapes? Grudgemaking? Battle of the network stars? No. I just can't stand adverbs -- even benign, double-edged, or playful ones. There are better units of grammar with which to pun about than those simpering little clutterfucks which clot the flow. Tom Swift can bite my ass.

And when one single individual takes it upon himself to propagate a thread like this, however amicable or appropriately devious the intentions, it not only cuts against the whole idea of "community weblog," but suggests some desperate need for attention, or perhaps something along the lines of what rory suggested.

It's akin to pissing upon Matt's carpet, albeit in a highly acrobatic way that just about anyone can appreciate. But there's still a poor deportment involved.
posted by ed at 7:17 AM on August 7, 2003

it is? I thought perhaps Brad was getting tipsy and thinking up one pun after the other, posting each with a chuckle.. while I sit there staring at the thread and can't think of one, she said blankly.

;)
posted by dabitch at 7:29 AM on August 7, 2003

"This place has gone to hell," tom said devilishly.
posted by crunchland at 7:30 AM on August 7, 2003

Given the total lack of content of the front page post itself ("Tom Swifties, yuk yuk yuk!"), I think Brad's contributions were reasonable, not to mention hilarious. I can't think of any reason to complain unless one were upset that they didn't get the chance to do what Brad did.

it ... cuts against the whole idea of "community weblog"

You're pushing it there. He didn't post them to the front page. The thread was about Tom Swifties. Brad had 175 things to say about Tom Swifties. I still don't get how you or Metafilter was hurt by this.

suggests some desperate need for attention

Much like your own post suggests a desperate need for smugness?
posted by daveadams at 8:07 AM on August 7, 2003

When Mahogne singlehandedly researched and posted the history of CatScan.com and all related scanning sites over there I thought it was really funny and charming. This is maybe a little different, but I guess I still don't see it as peeing on the carpet.

off-topic: What the hell happened to the MeFi DC wiki???
posted by onlyconnect at 8:11 AM on August 7, 2003

The thread was about Tom Swifties. Brad had 175 things to say about Tom Swifties. I still don't get how you or Metafilter was hurt by this.

The academic community frowns on your conclusion.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:21 AM on August 7, 2003

That said, I'll give each and every poster in this thread a big slobbbery kiss†, 'cause it really doesn't matter, and I love you all.


†not gay, especially.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:24 AM on August 7, 2003

I don't think it violated any community norms (heh). The only reason I've seen thread monopolization be an issue is in the case of either:

a) moderation (self- or otherwise) or
b) relentless derail.

In this case, Brad was as on-topic as possible and it wasn't a moderateable situation. Anyone who wanted to contribute could, and he made me chuckle, so I say good on ya, Brad.
posted by norm at 8:27 AM on August 7, 2003

Would it have been better if he put them all in one post. A post that would still have a smaller word count than most of what would be written in any of our clockwork regular, hostile threads?
posted by thirteen at 8:37 AM on August 7, 2003

Brad had 175 things to say about Tom Swifties.

I just love that it's possible to quantify this. Brad, if you're reading, you might want to slap that onto a line of Café Press t-shirts.
posted by rory at 8:42 AM on August 7, 2003

This is such a non-issue. He's done it in ONE thread. If he were in the habit of monopolizing threads we could talk about it. He was having fun, not pissing on anyone's carpet. Ease up.
posted by widdershins at 9:51 AM on August 7, 2003

He was having fun, not pissing on anyone's carpet. Ease up.

i'll hold ya to that attitude.
posted by quonsar at 10:23 AM on August 7, 2003

I'm with the lighten up crowd, so many people take Mefi far too seriously. I thought it was quite funny - and it made for slightly better reading than the BlogSpot one.
posted by carfilhiot at 10:32 AM on August 7, 2003

I guess I'd go with the 'lighten up' crowd, but I'll admit that I was amused when I saw that the thread had gotten so long, and kinda dissappointed and annoyed when I opened it up and saw that it was mostly just one guy.
posted by GeekAnimator at 10:51 AM on August 7, 2003

and kinda dissappointed and annoyed when I opened it up and saw that it was mostly just one guy.

What about when the majority of the Swifties he posted were more clever than those posted pre- and post-Brad's mad dash for hilarity?
posted by j.edwards at 11:02 AM on August 7, 2003

What some people don't appear to understand here is that Metafilter is not just an experience in which bored people pass the hours with snarky, often angry, often unreasonable comments, inevitably evolving into hatred (the only thing that lasts, according to Mickey Rourke), thread derailment and the inevitable Metatalk callout, but an interactive regularity that allows savage emotions that seethe underneath the surface, things that no one here would have the grand Lady Anne testicles to say to each other in person and items that are probably taken far too seriously (such as this Metatalk post and subsequent posts in question over a non-issue, which was not meant to inflame contrary to the Sawny Beanes in attendance here looking to chow down and which was in all likelihood a non-issue, or perhaps a very minor, very miniscule issue, the reading equivalent of a boo-boo, a disappointment commensurate with perhaps a touch of insomnia and related feelings that equate not being able to fall asleep on a highly comfy futon; remarkably, the post's time stamp signature of 2:30 AM PST was completely overlooked by the Metafilter pistoleros), things that come out with all the efficacy and faux joy as that morning pot of coffee allowed to reside in a festering, crumbling pewter basin for several hours and then handled, imbibed by the truly desperate, hoping that whatever grounds remain, with the needed caffeine, are permitted to trickle into a most likely light-colored coffee cup with a company logo emblazoned on its side, probably obtained for free with some UPS package or delivered in person by a smiling company rep as a dubious incentive for a low-level admin type who has some say over whom the company outsources its services to, probably an unpleasant regularity for both parties, and perhaps contemplated by this Metafilter user type (again, not indicative of all Metafilter users, but just these angry trollers who seem to walk the halls with a random axe to lodge in someone's skull and seem to have nothing better to do) while in the midst of forming some hateful comment condemning another user, calling for the head of George Bush (Alfredo Garcia's apparently being unavailable), laughing about Gary Coleman or Arnold or the next celebrity bozo disrupting Cal-poli, or otherwise reacting with the appropriate anger indicative of the blue and gray (or in this case simply the gray).

The result is an idle thought, a stupid caprice, an unwise vagary, an ill-formed whim, time wasted discussing this, who knows how many K and bandwidth disposed of in the name of posts, initiating counter-threads, considering and possibly acting upon counter-counter-threads, linking to threads, writing about some nonexistent internecine scrape, writing about what was at best an annoyance at seeing adverbs stemming from solo, and essentially damning rather than actually attempting to understand this small point of hypocrisy (the lower the number, the higher the threshold for pardon), or doing the wise thing altogether and dismissing it, or propagating tremendously long sentences, or otherwise finding a suitable form of employ for what is an utterly shit, decrepit thread, a pointless discussion, a matter that at least on a positive note draws attention to Brad's verbal gymnastics (if Tom Swift's your thing, Brad's the king!) and, well, really, should this thread, should these sentences, be continuing, or is this really all a fundamental exercise of time with which you all could have grabbed a Diet Coke and a half smile and perhaps sung a ditty in the company of some desultory dame or hip hunk, taking five minutes of your life to come closer to hitting a homerun, licentious or romantic, the play's the thing and it's not in evidence here, whether through quoting Metafilter policy as if its the goddam Federal Tax Code (clearly, it is not as long) or engaging in glorious slander, disagreements, and eldritch cries of "GODDAMMIT CHILL YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH FUCKER FUCKER DON'T YOU GET OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE I HATE YOU MOTHER FATHER SON DAUGHTER DAMMIT I LOVE BRAD SO FUCKING MUCH THAT I'M READY TO SLAUGHTER YOUR FIRSTBORN!"

Or to put it another way:

There are more constructive things to do.
posted by ed at 11:38 AM on August 7, 2003

Two words: paragraph breaks.
posted by dhoyt at 11:44 AM on August 7, 2003

what ed said, only naked and petrified, with hot grits down my pants.
posted by quonsar at 11:58 AM on August 7, 2003

and dhoyt, paragraph breaks cannot appear mid sentence.
posted by quonsar at 12:01 PM on August 7, 2003

God, I love MetaTalk!
posted by timeistight at 12:30 PM on August 7, 2003

William Faulkner would like his syntax back.
posted by varmint at 12:31 PM on August 7, 2003

I keep re-reading that to see if I'm being condemned (pistolero? tax policy?). I'm still not sure, but just in case:

A. STFU, Ed!
B. Thanks for the great prose, Ed!

Pick whichever is appropriate.
posted by norm at 12:47 PM on August 7, 2003

Sheesh, ed, talk about monopolizing a thread. Don't you own any mirrors? ;-P
posted by mischief at 4:13 PM on August 7, 2003

this (meta) thread is sillier than the (mefi) thread been criticised.
posted by andrew cooke at 5:32 PM on August 7, 2003

Ed needs editor? This is turning into another Tom Swifties thread!
posted by wendell at 4:08 AM on August 8, 2003

What's wrong with paragraph

breaks in the middle of a sentence?
posted by DrJohnEvans at 11:59 AM on August 8, 2003