can you please post the spoiler from this The Office post to the "more inside"?

August 31, 2004 6:09 PM

Matt, can you please post the spoiler from this The Office post to the "more inside". And in general, can people please not put spoilers on the front page. It's pretty lame. And if you are going to include spoilers on the more, a warning on the front page would be nice. Thanks! (NOTE: don't click the link if you haven't seen all of The Office!)
posted by dobbs to Etiquette/Policy at 6:09 PM (184 comments total)

Wasn't it aired ages ago tho? It's not like it's a new show, or on its first-run. How would the poster have known it hadn't already aired, on BBCAmerica, or elsewhere--It's a Christmas episode.
posted by amberglow at 6:32 PM on August 31, 2004

Worse, it is also revealed in that thread that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father. Some people haven't seen Star Wars yet, dumbass!

Also, The Office is a mock-documentary comedy, not a freakin' soap opera. It's about the journey, not the destination.
posted by reklaw at 6:39 PM on August 31, 2004

Worse, it is also revealed in that thread that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father. Some people haven't seen Star Wars yet, dumbass

That would be "The Empire Strikes Back." Or, possibly, "The Revenge of the Sith."
posted by eyeballkid at 6:44 PM on August 31, 2004

/me shoves the community up reklaw's ass on his way out the door.
posted by dobbs at 6:50 PM on August 31, 2004

Sorry, again, for the third time, guys. My explanation is in the original thread. I would never knowingly post a spoiler, nor did I have any way of knowing I was spoiling something. Not sure what else to say in my own defense...
posted by dhoyt at 6:54 PM on August 31, 2004

rosebud is a sled.
posted by crunchland at 7:00 PM on August 31, 2004

THANKS A LOT, CRUNCHLAND, YOU FUCK.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:20 PM on August 31, 2004

All along, the birdman really was me.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:58 PM on August 31, 2004

I axed it at the posters request. It was a total spoiler, and afaik it never aired in the US.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:00 PM on August 31, 2004

even if something has aired, spoilers are still bad!

also, i love tim.
posted by kv at 8:48 PM on August 31, 2004

turns out it's present day.
posted by soyjoy at 8:58 PM on August 31, 2004

the walrus was paul.
posted by fishfucker at 9:04 PM on August 31, 2004

I shot JR.
posted by PrinceValium at 9:11 PM on August 31, 2004

And Lucy does get to play the bongos in Ricky's band. I fucking knew it!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:25 PM on August 31, 2004

In Jurassic Park the dinosaur eats everyone but an openly gay Jeff Goldbloom (it gets weird at the end, with him coming out).
posted by geoff. at 9:36 PM on August 31, 2004

Soylent green is made of peeeeeople!!!!
posted by ook at 9:38 PM on August 31, 2004

bruce willis is dead.
posted by graventy at 9:55 PM on August 31, 2004

Charlton Heston sees the Statue of Liberty, and realizes he was on Earth the whole time, but in the future.
posted by amberglow at 9:56 PM on August 31, 2004

ooo! also, Zira switches her talking baby with a chimp baby in the zoo, paving the way for the eventual takeover of the planet. : >
posted by amberglow at 10:01 PM on August 31, 2004

Rochester has a crazy wife living in the attic; Grace Poole is only her nurse.
posted by taz at 11:27 PM on August 31, 2004

Well thanks a bunch taz. Now I've got to cancel that Amazon order for "Wide Sargossa Sea."
posted by seanyboy at 11:53 PM on August 31, 2004

Oh Auntie Em, it was just a dream. But it seemed so real! You were there, Hickory, and you, and you...
posted by scody at 12:10 AM on September 1, 2004

His mother died years ago, and he dresses up as her to commit the murders.
posted by crunchland at 12:55 AM on September 1, 2004

The whole town comes to his aid, and gives him enough money to cover the missing deposit, and Clarence gets his wings.
posted by crunchland at 1:01 AM on September 1, 2004

Bush loses because of the Electoral College system.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 1:54 AM on September 1, 2004

Jesus gets tacked up. But he gets over it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:29 AM on September 1, 2004 [2 favorites]

It's 2004 and they're living in a large nature reserve with a no-fly zone.
posted by John Shaft at 2:30 AM on September 1, 2004

Turns out Bruce Willis was an automobile decoration consisting of a raised horizontal metal surface all along.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:48 AM on September 1, 2004

KHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN....
posted by Witty at 3:13 AM on September 1, 2004

The chick has a dick.
posted by AwkwardPause at 3:18 AM on September 1, 2004

It was Ozmandius all along.
posted by seanyboy at 3:19 AM on September 1, 2004

She smothered her children with a pillow and then shot herself. It's really 1937, not 1917.
posted by salmacis at 3:43 AM on September 1, 2004

It's all just been a horrible dream!
posted by dash_slot- at 3:46 AM on September 1, 2004

NEO AND TRINITY BOTH FUCKING DIE
posted by angry modem at 4:04 AM on September 1, 2004

Mr Glass blew up the train.
posted by seanyboy at 4:07 AM on September 1, 2004

Everybody lives happily ever after.
posted by seanyboy at 4:11 AM on September 1, 2004

Bob is her father - he's possessed.
posted by Blue Stone at 5:19 AM on September 1, 2004

stavros. you kill me.

(dress-up jesus is stuck to my fridge. currently wearing a hat and trousers.)

and i can't believe anyone didn't already say it... everyone dies but the girl and the cat.
posted by caution live frogs at 5:40 AM on September 1, 2004

Frankly, dobbs, I don't give a damn.
posted by rocketman at 6:01 AM on September 1, 2004

Ricky Gervais rips off his face in the last episode of The Office, revealing himself to be Jesus fuckin' Christ. But then Jesus takes the shape of an F-15 fighter jet, revealing himself to be a Transformer. Oh, that dry British humor. Their boss was a buffoonish Transfomer all along!
posted by dhoyt at 6:15 AM on September 1, 2004

I am so sorry I read this thread.
posted by chicobangs at 6:19 AM on September 1, 2004

i didn't bother, i've read the book.
posted by quonsar at 6:32 AM on September 1, 2004

His soul is in the briefcase.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:38 AM on September 1, 2004

Joey marries the duck
posted by sebas at 7:14 AM on September 1, 2004

Jesus gets tacked up. But he gets over it.

- you are not going to resurrect that old one are you stav.
posted by johnnyboy at 7:41 AM on September 1, 2004

And then Bob wakes up, and it was all a dream -- Vermont, the two Darrells, everything! -- and there's Suzanne Pleshette there to reassure him, and happily, it's 1973 all over again.
posted by chicobangs at 7:47 AM on September 1, 2004

And in the end he gets burnt to death!

"Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!"
posted by nthdegx at 7:48 AM on September 1, 2004

Really, there can be only one, but they'll make sequels anyway.
posted by wobh at 8:01 AM on September 1, 2004

To Serve Man: It's a cookbook.

In the same vein: Soylent Green is people.
posted by timeistight at 8:31 AM on September 1, 2004

(So...what was the Office spoiler? Really.)
posted by ChrisTN at 8:36 AM on September 1, 2004

haha wobh
posted by Pretty_Generic at 8:37 AM on September 1, 2004

Col. Mustard in the Drawing Room with the Candlestick.
posted by crunchland at 8:39 AM on September 1, 2004

Jesus tosses the Book of Life laptop in the water and Armageddon is averted.
posted by jessamyn at 8:53 AM on September 1, 2004

Michael has Fredo killed.
posted by crunchland at 8:53 AM on September 1, 2004

After a struggle on the cliffs over the fiery pit, Gollum bites off the ring and the finger, and falls in, destroying it and saving the world.
posted by crunchland at 8:54 AM on September 1, 2004

Harry and Voldemort are the same person.

Voldemort went back in time to kill Harry, but in casting the spell, he tampers with time and causes a recursion along with the split personality.

Why wasn't Voldemort killed? He is! The one who travels back in time is killed. The one just split off from Harry lives on.

... or something like that. ;-P
posted by mischief at 9:08 AM on September 1, 2004

Nicole Kidman and her two children are actually teh ghosts, and teh "ghosts" are really the real people!!!
posted by naxosaxur at 9:18 AM on September 1, 2004

What about Kaycee Nicole? Any news on her yet?
posted by iconomy at 9:18 AM on September 1, 2004

Of course, the punchline is that Klinger winds up staying in Korea after everyone else leaves, because he likes it there after all.

I know, go figure.
posted by chicobangs at 9:40 AM on September 1, 2004

The narrator did it.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:14 AM on September 1, 2004

After about 15 minutes or so trying different positions, the delivery boy climaxes rather messily, and then he puts his overalls back on and leaves her with her pizza.

He does not ask for payment.
posted by chicobangs at 10:22 AM on September 1, 2004

Or, alternatively: He fixes the cable.
posted by chicobangs at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2004

Frodo lives. Charlotte dies. Jesus does both.
posted by Karmakaze at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2004 [1 favorite]

I love that Yaz song.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:32 AM on September 1, 2004

The narrator is Tyler Durden.
posted by karmaville at 10:34 AM on September 1, 2004

I got all that, but WHO IS KEYSER SOZE?
posted by wendell at 10:40 AM on September 1, 2004

The President orders New York City to be nuked.
posted by briank at 10:40 AM on September 1, 2004

The whole thing was dreamed up by an autistic boy as he played with a little plastic snow globe with a hospital in it.
posted by iconomy at 10:41 AM on September 1, 2004

After the clock strikes midnight everything that takes place occurs in a "tangent" universe.
posted by shoepal at 10:42 AM on September 1, 2004

And even after Number 6 escapes "The Village", he's still a Prisoner (and thirty years later, having grown hairless and toothless, gets a job as the dancing mascot for Six Flags).
posted by wendell at 10:43 AM on September 1, 2004

Kelly, Ozone, and Turbo save the community center.
posted by eddydamascene at 10:46 AM on September 1, 2004

Screech wins against Horschack.
posted by amberglow at 10:53 AM on September 1, 2004

And mathowie deletes the thread.
posted by wendell at 10:59 AM on September 1, 2004

Maya is actually the child of Lisa and Lisa's sister Barbara's husband, and they wanted Maya so that's why Barbara's husband killed Lisa, which Nate connects the dots about because of a photo of Lisa he finds in the book "Stiffs" which was stuck there by Michaela as a clue for him.

And Michaela is actually Lisa and Nate's child from years back when Lisa didn't really get an abortion like she said.

George goes insane.
posted by luser at 11:14 AM on September 1, 2004

and Luke rapes Laura, then marries her.
posted by amberglow at 11:16 AM on September 1, 2004

They cross the streams, despite earlier advice suggesting that 'crossing the streams was Bad.'
posted by kaibutsu at 11:21 AM on September 1, 2004

AND close the gate, AND kill the giant marshmallow man, AND Venkman gets the girl. (yeesh.)
posted by crunchland at 11:27 AM on September 1, 2004

The couple in the orange jersey LOVES their new living room, while the couple in the blue jersey think Hilde's color choice is all wrong, and they won't be able to live with their new bedroom, AT ALL.
posted by crunchland at 11:30 AM on September 1, 2004

Buckaroo commandeers an alien lifeboat, lasers the fleeing Dr Lizardo and Red Lectroids, parachutes back to Earth and resurrects Penny with a statically-charged kiss.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:38 AM on September 1, 2004

It looks like they're going to get away with it, but the bus skids and ends up teetering on the edge of a cliff, with the gold threatening to fall into the valley. Charlie says "I've got a great idea," but the credits start rolling and you never find out what it is.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:09 PM on September 1, 2004

It was all just a big joke that Sean Penn played on Michael Douglas for his 40th birthday party.
posted by sharpener at 12:21 PM on September 1, 2004

It was Earth all along?

YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT ALL UP!
posted by arto at 12:22 PM on September 1, 2004

the whole everlasting gobstopper thing was just a test, and Slugworthy actually worked for Willy Wonka.
posted by amberglow at 12:31 PM on September 1, 2004

turns out the rope didn't break after all.
posted by soyjoy at 12:34 PM on September 1, 2004

The Nazi is actually a fag and kills Kevin Spacey.
posted by rocketman at 12:59 PM on September 1, 2004

Soyjoy! I love that film--director's a genius! great reference!
posted by ParisParamus at 1:13 PM on September 1, 2004

After getting drunk and sleeping with Seymour, Enid gets takes the bus.
posted by y2karl at 1:19 PM on September 1, 2004

er, takes the bus...
posted by y2karl at 1:20 PM on September 1, 2004

Joel takes an archetypal hero's journey and returns to New York. Oh, sorry, that wasn't the ending, though it should have been.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:27 PM on September 1, 2004

The owl bites through to the tootsie roll center after three licks.
posted by eddydamascene at 1:34 PM on September 1, 2004

Superfly ends up having to kick some ass.
posted by transient at 1:44 PM on September 1, 2004

transient, that was my favorite bewitched ep!
posted by luser at 1:48 PM on September 1, 2004

Jesus is dead.
posted by the fire you left me at 2:11 PM on September 1, 2004

luser : >
posted by amberglow at 2:16 PM on September 1, 2004

They're not terrorists after all, they just want to steal the bonds in the vault.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 2:42 PM on September 1, 2004

It turns out the Sheriff is Black.
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:43 PM on September 1, 2004

Kevin Spacey is "envy" and Brad Pitt is "wrath."
posted by sharpener at 2:46 PM on September 1, 2004

He admits to being a daft prick and they live happily ever after.
posted by shoepal at 2:48 PM on September 1, 2004

Godot never arrives.
posted by SteelyDuran at 3:02 PM on September 1, 2004

The rich girl ends up with the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. The goth girl ends up with the jock. The math geek ends up with the writing assignment.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 3:07 PM on September 1, 2004

Jeff takes out the Aliens with a Mac Virus
posted by Mitheral at 3:09 PM on September 1, 2004

a few of them get saved by going up to the bottom of the boat, but Shelley Winters and that slutty woman die on the way.
posted by amberglow at 3:34 PM on September 1, 2004

The walrus was Paul.
posted by padraigin at 3:39 PM on September 1, 2004

(but you guys knew that already)
posted by padraigin at 3:44 PM on September 1, 2004

the nerds get laid
posted by mr.marx at 3:51 PM on September 1, 2004

His buddy goes to jail, his mom gets shock treatment, his girlfriend starts selling herself for drugs and he loses an arm.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:15 PM on September 1, 2004

He gives himself a frontal lobotomy with a drill. He sits on a park bench and watches a little girl play.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:23 PM on September 1, 2004

The gold was buried in the grave *next* to Arch Stanton's.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2004

... and if it weren't for you meddling kids they'd have gotten away with it.
posted by milovoo at 4:35 PM on September 1, 2004

Its all in the reflexes. He idiotically refuses the advance of the totally hot green eyed babe. The demon is still alive on the back of his truck in the driving rain storm.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:36 PM on September 1, 2004

and just don't even ask what happened to Sunnydale!
posted by milovoo at 4:41 PM on September 1, 2004

Anybody feel like composing a key to all these spoilers, matching the spoiler with the movie? I feel like I'd want to see some of these movies on the basis of the spoiler alone, but have no idea what movie to rent. Should only take a few hours, really!!!
posted by onlyconnect at 4:41 PM on September 1, 2004

He couldn't know it was Iron Balls McGinty.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:43 PM on September 1, 2004

John Galt turns out to be as completely implausible as the rest of the book.
posted by orange swan at 4:45 PM on September 1, 2004

You will die aloooooone.
posted by John Shaft at 4:46 PM on September 1, 2004

If he had brain one in that *huge* melon on top of his neck, he'd be living the good life, in California's ~beautiful~ San Fernando Valley. Oh, and Ray is Vigo now.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:46 PM on September 1, 2004

Anybody feel like composing a key to all these spoilers,

Have you seen the Pooper?

Also, the man in the red shoes is actually the photo-booth repairman.
posted by milovoo at 4:54 PM on September 1, 2004

He switched the tapes. Maybe swing music can bring about world peace.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:54 PM on September 1, 2004

Minnesota Fats decides to stop fucking around.
posted by LionIndex at 4:57 PM on September 1, 2004

By the way, Adrienne Barbeau figured out how to get 7 shots out of a six shooter. Too bad about the Cadillac, though.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:58 PM on September 1, 2004

The little squirrel critter never does get the nut. People laugh at his pain.
posted by Wulfgar! at 5:00 PM on September 1, 2004

He destroys the Ministry of Information with the help of the rogue Air Conditioning Repair Man and escapes with the woman of his dreams.

In reality, he's being tortued by a fellow Ministry of Information employee donning a baby mask.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:00 PM on September 1, 2004

SHE brands HIM with a cigerette holder.
posted by Wulfgar! at 5:02 PM on September 1, 2004

Everybody dies.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 5:07 PM on September 1, 2004

Slim Whitman's singing makes the aliens' heads explode.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 5:17 PM on September 1, 2004

Truly, he was the Son of God.
posted by Vidiot at 5:18 PM on September 1, 2004

Rick doesn't get the girl. He does get to walk off arm in arm with the police captain.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:21 PM on September 1, 2004

It's a cookbook.
posted by Vidiot at 5:21 PM on September 1, 2004

Oh and the coyote only hurts himself with the Acme T.N.T. but he doesn't die.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:24 PM on September 1, 2004

By taking control of their machine, John creates the sea, the sun and Shell Beach.
posted by shoepal at 5:25 PM on September 1, 2004

This week's top 10 grossing movies:
WARNING: SPOILERS
Nameless Hero was executed as an assassin but buried as an honored hero.
Gail, Sam, Bill and Cole are the only survivors.
Del gives the friends a bag full of D.B. Cooper's parachute and tons of money.
Mia is crowned as the new Queen of Genovia.
"It's not Merrin... It's Father Merrin."
Vincent says "if someone died on the metro, think anyone would notice?" and then head drooping, dies.
A fisherman gutting a dead shark, finds Susan's yellow waterproof camera. and says " I wonder if it still works".
A chestburster comes out of the Predator, and at the sides of its mouth we see four tiny tusks...
Pam tells Bourne that his real name is David Webb, his birthday is April 15, 1971, and he's from Newsome, Missouri.
Mackelway holds O'Ryan in his arms as he dies and O'Ryan thanks him telling him he knew it would end like this.

Wendell really likes the Movie Spoiler site and is somewhat tickled at the fact that they haven't found anybody to watch "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2"

For Once, we agree.
posted by wendell at 5:25 PM on September 1, 2004

He flies the helicopter upside down and shoots Malcolm McDowell.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 5:31 PM on September 1, 2004

The fake crop report does the trick, and the Dukes end up penniless while our heroes eat lobster and cracked crab on the beach.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:38 PM on September 1, 2004

She goes with Ben. Not Noel.
posted by Sonny Jim at 5:53 PM on September 1, 2004

*wakes up. universe winks out.*
posted by quonsar at 6:02 PM on September 1, 2004

The symbolic erection recedes. She ends up teaching a boy's gym class, dressed in a half shirt, shorts, tights and leg-warmers. Oh, Yeah ...

Then she marries that asshole, Steven Seagal, and her whole career goes to hell. Bye, Kelly.
posted by Wulfgar! at 6:04 PM on September 1, 2004

He's cured, all right.
posted by moss at 6:13 PM on September 1, 2004

Affleck and Damon fuck.
posted by dhoyt at 6:29 PM on September 1, 2004

The train goes into a tunnel.
posted by Vidiot at 6:46 PM on September 1, 2004

They re-calibrate the phase array and divert power from the shields.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:14 PM on September 1, 2004

She raises her dead transvestite ex-husband's illegitimate child in Madrid Barcelona.
posted by shoepal at 8:11 PM on September 1, 2004

... but I still can't believe that he would give the hard won diamond earrings to the passive-aggressive tomboy Watts instead of the sweet perky redhead Amanda.
posted by milovoo at 8:13 PM on September 1, 2004

So all the heavy metal doors close but the last one, and Max turns around to see why it doesn't, and they suddenly swing shut, hitting him on the nose.
posted by crunchland at 8:51 PM on September 1, 2004

Peter, Michael Bolton, and Samir get away with the computer scam because Milton sets fire to the building!

Woogie is actually Dom Wooganowski. Duh.
posted by naxosaxur at 9:12 PM on September 1, 2004

The guy with the limp did it.
posted by jeblis at 9:35 PM on September 1, 2004

the boat sinks.
posted by Marquis at 10:05 PM on September 1, 2004

Credits roll.

Paul Slatter was the gaffer.
posted by jazon at 10:19 PM on September 1, 2004

...and so the kindly old doctor pumped ten whole quarts of jism from Rod Stewart's belly that night, sending him on his way the next morning to live a happy, healthy life in the sweet thereafter.
posted by dhoyt at 10:55 PM on September 1, 2004

Francesca stays with her husband; Robert Kincaid slowly drives away.
posted by SteelyDuran at 10:55 PM on September 1, 2004

They look into each other's eyes as the cops draw closer, and then punch the accelerator, driving over the cliff.
posted by mwhybark at 11:00 PM on September 1, 2004

Turns out there was no kidnapping, no ransom, the toe came from one of the Germans, and Donny died of a heart attack.

But what happened to the rug?
posted by arto at 11:06 PM on September 1, 2004

Yeah man, it really tied the room together.
posted by John Shaft at 11:32 PM on September 1, 2004

They take Ray Milland's head back off Rosie Grier's body, and everybody lives happily ever after.
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:33 PM on September 1, 2004

Charles De Gaulle ducks.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 12:24 AM on September 2, 2004

Joey marries the ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
posted by Feisty at 12:47 AM on September 2, 2004

Producing car parts, "Forgive us mother, for I have sinned, I have too." And the family goes over the mountain.
posted by Feisty at 12:49 AM on September 2, 2004

Ray Milland removes his eyes, but can still see, if Stephen King is to be believed.
posted by John Shaft at 1:36 AM on September 2, 2004

There turns out to be no way out of the IKEA showroom.
posted by SteelyDuran at 2:17 AM on September 2, 2004 [1 favorite]

During a small gathering of friends, the author offers to tell the tale of Bach's Musical Offering, and the book begins again.
posted by SteelyDuran at 2:30 AM on September 2, 2004

I'M HER MOTHER. NO, I'M HER SISTER. NO, I'M HER MOTHER. NO, I'M HER SISTER. I'M HER MOTHER!!!!

It's Chinatown, Jake.
posted by ZippityBuddha at 6:35 AM on September 2, 2004

He is ambushed by lackeys
posted by fullerine at 6:42 AM on September 2, 2004

A robber comes in and shoots him dead, but one of the producers convinces the director to leave that scene out.
posted by wobh at 7:16 AM on September 2, 2004

After killing the computer, he sees the obelisk in space and goes back to his childhood while sitting in bed.

Daniel ends up roleplaying with the geeks, Lindsey and Daniel's girlfriend go on a roadtrip with the dead. Nick enters a disco competition that Joel Hodgson hosts. Ken stays with the hermaphrodite. Sam breaks up with Cindy.

The good wizard shoots the bad wizard and hooks up with the cute fairy.

The rabbits start their own warren.

Bloom's day ends with his wife fantasizing about other men

Lenny kills someone. George kills lenny.

Brandon's camera breaks and they decide that their movie's sucked anyways.

Trinity House converts 15,000 people.

Coven is never completely finished.

Mandy Moore's character kills Jesus.

He wins her heart at a dance contest.

He was dreaming the entire film.

They lose the contest but become a real band.

They buy the evil gym.

They get arrested for not helping someone out.

He fakes his death one last time, then plays banjo.

She wins the election.

He goes with her to London.

Punk rock dies.

They lose all the money but get it back by selling flon in a tube (don't ask me how I know that one)

Christmas is saved!
posted by drezdn at 7:38 AM on September 2, 2004

Senator Blutarsky, Washington, DC.
posted by Vidiot at 8:09 AM on September 2, 2004

1. He loses.
2. He wins.
3. No one cares.
4. No one cares.
5. No one cares.
posted by iconomy at 8:20 AM on September 2, 2004

Jack freezes to death in the garden maze.

The sniper turns out to be a teenage girl.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 8:38 AM on September 2, 2004

They decide to remake The Office using American actors in a US locale, and despite the talent of all involved, the show completely tanks.
posted by chicobangs at 8:48 AM on September 2, 2004

#1: Jason dies.
#2: Jason dies.
#3: Jason dies.
#4: Jason dies.
#5: Jason dies.
#6: Jason dies.
#7: Jason dies.
posted by iconomy at 9:02 AM on September 2, 2004

It was beauty killed the beast.
posted by Vidiot at 9:17 AM on September 2, 2004

Dexy's Midnight Runners' second album is not as well recieved.
posted by petebest at 11:33 AM on September 2, 2004

Mother of Mercy, it was the end of Rico.
posted by Vidiot at 12:46 PM on September 2, 2004

He informs his mother that he has, in fact, made it to the top of the world. Shortly thereafter, the gas refinery explodes.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 4:31 PM on September 2, 2004

Bill kills his wife, probably accidentally, and escapes to Tangeirs.
posted by SteelyDuran at 4:42 PM on September 2, 2004

Vidiot:

Senator and Mrs. Blutarsky, Washington, D.C.

These are important details.
posted by yhbc at 5:01 PM on September 2, 2004

Mathowie turns out to really be Karl Rove doing some research on the opposition.
posted by ParisParamus at 5:01 PM on September 2, 2004

All right, who farted?!?

Oh, ParisP is in here.
posted by Wulfgar! at 5:57 PM on September 2, 2004

Nirvana turns out to be the wheel of becoming.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:25 PM on September 2, 2004

The butler did it.
posted by deborah at 7:13 PM on September 2, 2004

Ross, the largest Friend, simply eats the other five.
posted by Gortuk at 7:44 PM on September 2, 2004

KHAAAN !!!
posted by Witty at 1:56 AM on September 3, 2004

The bus ends up hanging half over a cliff. Gold at one end; heros at the other.
posted by Mitheral at 10:11 AM on September 3, 2004

He goes to LA, but plans to come back, and leaves his guitar as evidence.
posted by taumeson at 11:50 AM on September 4, 2004

The thread goes off the front page of MeTa, but a few sad individuals keep posting to it anyway.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 8:21 AM on September 5, 2004

30 days later the thread gets closed to further comments
posted by filmgoerjuan at 2:53 PM on September 30, 2004