can you please post the spoiler from this The Office post to the "more inside"? August 31, 2004 6:09 PM Subscribe
Matt, can you please post the spoiler from this The Office post to the "more inside". And in general, can people please not put spoilers on the front page. It's pretty lame. And if you are going to include spoilers on the more, a warning on the front page would be nice. Thanks! (NOTE: don't click the link if you haven't seen all of The Office!)
Worse, it is also revealed in that thread that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father. Some people haven't seen Star Wars yet, dumbass!
Also, The Office is a mock-documentary comedy, not a freakin' soap opera. It's about the journey, not the destination.
posted by reklaw at 6:39 PM on August 31, 2004
Also, The Office is a mock-documentary comedy, not a freakin' soap opera. It's about the journey, not the destination.
posted by reklaw at 6:39 PM on August 31, 2004
Worse, it is also revealed in that thread that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father. Some people haven't seen Star Wars yet, dumbass
That would be "The Empire Strikes Back." Or, possibly, "The Revenge of the Sith."
posted by eyeballkid at 6:44 PM on August 31, 2004
That would be "The Empire Strikes Back." Or, possibly, "The Revenge of the Sith."
posted by eyeballkid at 6:44 PM on August 31, 2004
/me shoves the community up reklaw's ass on his way out the door.
posted by dobbs at 6:50 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by dobbs at 6:50 PM on August 31, 2004
Sorry, again, for the third time, guys. My explanation is in the original thread. I would never knowingly post a spoiler, nor did I have any way of knowing I was spoiling something. Not sure what else to say in my own defense...
posted by dhoyt at 6:54 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by dhoyt at 6:54 PM on August 31, 2004
rosebud is a sled.
posted by crunchland at 7:00 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by crunchland at 7:00 PM on August 31, 2004
THANKS A LOT, CRUNCHLAND, YOU FUCK.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:20 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:20 PM on August 31, 2004
All along, the birdman really was me.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:58 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:58 PM on August 31, 2004
I axed it at the posters request. It was a total spoiler, and afaik it never aired in the US.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:00 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:00 PM on August 31, 2004
even if something has aired, spoilers are still bad!
also, i love tim.
posted by kv at 8:48 PM on August 31, 2004
also, i love tim.
posted by kv at 8:48 PM on August 31, 2004
the walrus was paul.
posted by fishfucker at 9:04 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by fishfucker at 9:04 PM on August 31, 2004
I shot JR.
posted by PrinceValium at 9:11 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by PrinceValium at 9:11 PM on August 31, 2004
And Lucy does get to play the bongos in Ricky's band. I fucking knew it!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:25 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:25 PM on August 31, 2004
In Jurassic Park the dinosaur eats everyone but an openly gay Jeff Goldbloom (it gets weird at the end, with him coming out).
posted by geoff. at 9:36 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by geoff. at 9:36 PM on August 31, 2004
Charlton Heston sees the Statue of Liberty, and realizes he was on Earth the whole time, but in the future.
posted by amberglow at 9:56 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by amberglow at 9:56 PM on August 31, 2004
ooo! also, Zira switches her talking baby with a chimp baby in the zoo, paving the way for the eventual takeover of the planet. : >
posted by amberglow at 10:01 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by amberglow at 10:01 PM on August 31, 2004
Rochester has a crazy wife living in the attic; Grace Poole is only her nurse.
posted by taz at 11:27 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by taz at 11:27 PM on August 31, 2004
Well thanks a bunch taz. Now I've got to cancel that Amazon order for "Wide Sargossa Sea."
posted by seanyboy at 11:53 PM on August 31, 2004
posted by seanyboy at 11:53 PM on August 31, 2004
Oh Auntie Em, it was just a dream. But it seemed so real! You were there, Hickory, and you, and you...
posted by scody at 12:10 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by scody at 12:10 AM on September 1, 2004
His mother died years ago, and he dresses up as her to commit the murders.
posted by crunchland at 12:55 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by crunchland at 12:55 AM on September 1, 2004
The whole town comes to his aid, and gives him enough money to cover the missing deposit, and Clarence gets his wings.
posted by crunchland at 1:01 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by crunchland at 1:01 AM on September 1, 2004
Bush loses because of the Electoral College system.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 1:54 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by Pretty_Generic at 1:54 AM on September 1, 2004
Jesus gets tacked up. But he gets over it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:29 AM on September 1, 2004 [2 favorites]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:29 AM on September 1, 2004 [2 favorites]
It's 2004 and they're living in a large nature reserve with a no-fly zone.
posted by John Shaft at 2:30 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by John Shaft at 2:30 AM on September 1, 2004
Turns out Bruce Willis was an automobile decoration consisting of a raised horizontal metal surface all along.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:48 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:48 AM on September 1, 2004
The chick has a dick.
posted by AwkwardPause at 3:18 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by AwkwardPause at 3:18 AM on September 1, 2004
She smothered her children with a pillow and then shot herself. It's really 1937, not 1917.
posted by salmacis at 3:43 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by salmacis at 3:43 AM on September 1, 2004
It's all just been a horrible dream!
posted by dash_slot- at 3:46 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by dash_slot- at 3:46 AM on September 1, 2004
NEO AND TRINITY BOTH FUCKING DIE
posted by angry modem at 4:04 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by angry modem at 4:04 AM on September 1, 2004
Bob is her father - he's possessed.
posted by Blue Stone at 5:19 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by Blue Stone at 5:19 AM on September 1, 2004
stavros. you kill me.
(dress-up jesus is stuck to my fridge. currently wearing a hat and trousers.)
and i can't believe anyone didn't already say it... everyone dies but the girl and the cat.
posted by caution live frogs at 5:40 AM on September 1, 2004
(dress-up jesus is stuck to my fridge. currently wearing a hat and trousers.)
and i can't believe anyone didn't already say it... everyone dies but the girl and the cat.
posted by caution live frogs at 5:40 AM on September 1, 2004
Ricky Gervais rips off his face in the last episode of The Office, revealing himself to be Jesus fuckin' Christ. But then Jesus takes the shape of an F-15 fighter jet, revealing himself to be a Transformer. Oh, that dry British humor. Their boss was a buffoonish Transfomer all along!
posted by dhoyt at 6:15 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by dhoyt at 6:15 AM on September 1, 2004
I am so sorry I read this thread.
posted by chicobangs at 6:19 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by chicobangs at 6:19 AM on September 1, 2004
His soul is in the briefcase.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:38 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:38 AM on September 1, 2004
Jesus gets tacked up. But he gets over it.
- you are not going to resurrect that old one are you stav.
posted by johnnyboy at 7:41 AM on September 1, 2004
- you are not going to resurrect that old one are you stav.
posted by johnnyboy at 7:41 AM on September 1, 2004
And then Bob wakes up, and it was all a dream -- Vermont, the two Darrells, everything! -- and there's Suzanne Pleshette there to reassure him, and happily, it's 1973 all over again.
posted by chicobangs at 7:47 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by chicobangs at 7:47 AM on September 1, 2004
And in the end he gets burnt to death!
"Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!"
posted by nthdegx at 7:48 AM on September 1, 2004
"Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!"
posted by nthdegx at 7:48 AM on September 1, 2004
Really, there can be only one, but they'll make sequels anyway.
posted by wobh at 8:01 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by wobh at 8:01 AM on September 1, 2004
To Serve Man: It's a cookbook.
In the same vein: Soylent Green is people.
posted by timeistight at 8:31 AM on September 1, 2004
In the same vein: Soylent Green is people.
posted by timeistight at 8:31 AM on September 1, 2004
haha wobh
posted by Pretty_Generic at 8:37 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by Pretty_Generic at 8:37 AM on September 1, 2004
Col. Mustard in the Drawing Room with the Candlestick.
posted by crunchland at 8:39 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by crunchland at 8:39 AM on September 1, 2004
Jesus tosses the Book of Life laptop in the water and Armageddon is averted.
posted by jessamyn at 8:53 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by jessamyn at 8:53 AM on September 1, 2004
Michael has Fredo killed.
posted by crunchland at 8:53 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by crunchland at 8:53 AM on September 1, 2004
After a struggle on the cliffs over the fiery pit, Gollum bites off the ring and the finger, and falls in, destroying it and saving the world.
posted by crunchland at 8:54 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by crunchland at 8:54 AM on September 1, 2004
Harry and Voldemort are the same person.
Voldemort went back in time to kill Harry, but in casting the spell, he tampers with time and causes a recursion along with the split personality.
Why wasn't Voldemort killed? He is! The one who travels back in time is killed. The one just split off from Harry lives on.
... or something like that. ;-P
posted by mischief at 9:08 AM on September 1, 2004
Voldemort went back in time to kill Harry, but in casting the spell, he tampers with time and causes a recursion along with the split personality.
Why wasn't Voldemort killed? He is! The one who travels back in time is killed. The one just split off from Harry lives on.
... or something like that. ;-P
posted by mischief at 9:08 AM on September 1, 2004
Nicole Kidman and her two children are actually teh ghosts, and teh "ghosts" are really the real people!!!
posted by naxosaxur at 9:18 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by naxosaxur at 9:18 AM on September 1, 2004
Of course, the punchline is that Klinger winds up staying in Korea after everyone else leaves, because he likes it there after all.
I know, go figure.
posted by chicobangs at 9:40 AM on September 1, 2004
I know, go figure.
posted by chicobangs at 9:40 AM on September 1, 2004
The narrator did it.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:14 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:14 AM on September 1, 2004
After about 15 minutes or so trying different positions, the delivery boy climaxes rather messily, and then he puts his overalls back on and leaves her with her pizza.
He does not ask for payment.
posted by chicobangs at 10:22 AM on September 1, 2004
He does not ask for payment.
posted by chicobangs at 10:22 AM on September 1, 2004
Frodo lives. Charlotte dies. Jesus does both.
posted by Karmakaze at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2004 [1 favorite]
posted by Karmakaze at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2004 [1 favorite]
I love that Yaz song.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:32 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by onlyconnect at 10:32 AM on September 1, 2004
The narrator is Tyler Durden.
posted by karmaville at 10:34 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by karmaville at 10:34 AM on September 1, 2004
The whole thing was dreamed up by an autistic boy as he played with a little plastic snow globe with a hospital in it.
posted by iconomy at 10:41 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by iconomy at 10:41 AM on September 1, 2004
After the clock strikes midnight everything that takes place occurs in a "tangent" universe.
posted by shoepal at 10:42 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by shoepal at 10:42 AM on September 1, 2004
And even after Number 6 escapes "The Village", he's still a Prisoner (and thirty years later, having grown hairless and toothless, gets a job as the dancing mascot for Six Flags).
posted by wendell at 10:43 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by wendell at 10:43 AM on September 1, 2004
Kelly, Ozone, and Turbo save the community center.
posted by eddydamascene at 10:46 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by eddydamascene at 10:46 AM on September 1, 2004
Maya is actually the child of Lisa and Lisa's sister Barbara's husband, and they wanted Maya so that's why Barbara's husband killed Lisa, which Nate connects the dots about because of a photo of Lisa he finds in the book "Stiffs" which was stuck there by Michaela as a clue for him.
And Michaela is actually Lisa and Nate's child from years back when Lisa didn't really get an abortion like she said.
George goes insane.
posted by luser at 11:14 AM on September 1, 2004
And Michaela is actually Lisa and Nate's child from years back when Lisa didn't really get an abortion like she said.
George goes insane.
posted by luser at 11:14 AM on September 1, 2004
They cross the streams, despite earlier advice suggesting that 'crossing the streams was Bad.'
posted by kaibutsu at 11:21 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by kaibutsu at 11:21 AM on September 1, 2004
AND close the gate, AND kill the giant marshmallow man, AND Venkman gets the girl. (yeesh.)
posted by crunchland at 11:27 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by crunchland at 11:27 AM on September 1, 2004
The couple in the orange jersey LOVES their new living room, while the couple in the blue jersey think Hilde's color choice is all wrong, and they won't be able to live with their new bedroom, AT ALL.
posted by crunchland at 11:30 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by crunchland at 11:30 AM on September 1, 2004
Buckaroo commandeers an alien lifeboat, lasers the fleeing Dr Lizardo and Red Lectroids, parachutes back to Earth and resurrects Penny with a statically-charged kiss.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:38 AM on September 1, 2004
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:38 AM on September 1, 2004
It looks like they're going to get away with it, but the bus skids and ends up teetering on the edge of a cliff, with the gold threatening to fall into the valley. Charlie says "I've got a great idea," but the credits start rolling and you never find out what it is.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:09 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:09 PM on September 1, 2004
It was all just a big joke that Sean Penn played on Michael Douglas for his 40th birthday party.
posted by sharpener at 12:21 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by sharpener at 12:21 PM on September 1, 2004
It was Earth all along?
YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT ALL UP!
posted by arto at 12:22 PM on September 1, 2004
YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT ALL UP!
posted by arto at 12:22 PM on September 1, 2004
the whole everlasting gobstopper thing was just a test, and Slugworthy actually worked for Willy Wonka.
posted by amberglow at 12:31 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by amberglow at 12:31 PM on September 1, 2004
The Nazi is actually a fag and kills Kevin Spacey.
posted by rocketman at 12:59 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by rocketman at 12:59 PM on September 1, 2004
Soyjoy! I love that film--director's a genius! great reference!
posted by ParisParamus at 1:13 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by ParisParamus at 1:13 PM on September 1, 2004
After getting drunk and sleeping with Seymour, Enid gets takes the bus.
posted by y2karl at 1:19 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by y2karl at 1:19 PM on September 1, 2004
Joel takes an archetypal hero's journey and returns to New York. Oh, sorry, that wasn't the ending, though it should have been.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:27 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:27 PM on September 1, 2004
The owl bites through to the tootsie roll center after three licks.
posted by eddydamascene at 1:34 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by eddydamascene at 1:34 PM on September 1, 2004
Jesus is dead.
posted by the fire you left me at 2:11 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by the fire you left me at 2:11 PM on September 1, 2004
They're not terrorists after all, they just want to steal the bonds in the vault.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 2:42 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 2:42 PM on September 1, 2004
It turns out the Sheriff is Black.
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:43 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:43 PM on September 1, 2004
He admits to being a daft prick and they live happily ever after.
posted by shoepal at 2:48 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by shoepal at 2:48 PM on September 1, 2004
Godot never arrives.
posted by SteelyDuran at 3:02 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by SteelyDuran at 3:02 PM on September 1, 2004
The rich girl ends up with the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. The goth girl ends up with the jock. The math geek ends up with the writing assignment.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 3:07 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 3:07 PM on September 1, 2004
a few of them get saved by going up to the bottom of the boat, but Shelley Winters and that slutty woman die on the way.
posted by amberglow at 3:34 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by amberglow at 3:34 PM on September 1, 2004
His buddy goes to jail, his mom gets shock treatment, his girlfriend starts selling herself for drugs and he loses an arm.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:15 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by eyeballkid at 4:15 PM on September 1, 2004
He gives himself a frontal lobotomy with a drill. He sits on a park bench and watches a little girl play.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:23 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by eyeballkid at 4:23 PM on September 1, 2004
The gold was buried in the grave *next* to Arch Stanton's.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2004
... and if it weren't for you meddling kids they'd have gotten away with it.
posted by milovoo at 4:35 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by milovoo at 4:35 PM on September 1, 2004
Its all in the reflexes. He idiotically refuses the advance of the totally hot green eyed babe. The demon is still alive on the back of his truck in the driving rain storm.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:36 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:36 PM on September 1, 2004
and just don't even ask what happened to Sunnydale!
posted by milovoo at 4:41 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by milovoo at 4:41 PM on September 1, 2004
Anybody feel like composing a key to all these spoilers, matching the spoiler with the movie? I feel like I'd want to see some of these movies on the basis of the spoiler alone, but have no idea what movie to rent. Should only take a few hours, really!!!
posted by onlyconnect at 4:41 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by onlyconnect at 4:41 PM on September 1, 2004
John Galt turns out to be as completely implausible as the rest of the book.
posted by orange swan at 4:45 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by orange swan at 4:45 PM on September 1, 2004
You will die aloooooone.
posted by John Shaft at 4:46 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by John Shaft at 4:46 PM on September 1, 2004
If he had brain one in that *huge* melon on top of his neck, he'd be living the good life, in California's ~beautiful~ San Fernando Valley. Oh, and Ray is Vigo now.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:46 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:46 PM on September 1, 2004
Anybody feel like composing a key to all these spoilers,
Have you seen the Pooper?
Also, the man in the red shoes is actually the photo-booth repairman.
posted by milovoo at 4:54 PM on September 1, 2004
Have you seen the Pooper?
Also, the man in the red shoes is actually the photo-booth repairman.
posted by milovoo at 4:54 PM on September 1, 2004
He switched the tapes. Maybe swing music can bring about world peace.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:54 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:54 PM on September 1, 2004
By the way, Adrienne Barbeau figured out how to get 7 shots out of a six shooter. Too bad about the Cadillac, though.
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:58 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:58 PM on September 1, 2004
The little squirrel critter never does get the nut. People laugh at his pain.
posted by Wulfgar! at 5:00 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Wulfgar! at 5:00 PM on September 1, 2004
He destroys the Ministry of Information with the help of the rogue Air Conditioning Repair Man and escapes with the woman of his dreams.
In reality, he's being tortued by a fellow Ministry of Information employee donning a baby mask.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:00 PM on September 1, 2004
In reality, he's being tortued by a fellow Ministry of Information employee donning a baby mask.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:00 PM on September 1, 2004
Everybody dies.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 5:07 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by inpHilltr8r at 5:07 PM on September 1, 2004
Slim Whitman's singing makes the aliens' heads explode.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 5:17 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 5:17 PM on September 1, 2004
Rick doesn't get the girl. He does get to walk off arm in arm with the police captain.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:21 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:21 PM on September 1, 2004
Oh and the coyote only hurts himself with the Acme T.N.T. but he doesn't die.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:24 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:24 PM on September 1, 2004
By taking control of their machine, John creates the sea, the sun and Shell Beach.
posted by shoepal at 5:25 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by shoepal at 5:25 PM on September 1, 2004
This week's top 10 grossing movies:
WARNING: SPOILERS
Nameless Hero was executed as an assassin but buried as an honored hero.
Gail, Sam, Bill and Cole are the only survivors.
Del gives the friends a bag full of D.B. Cooper's parachute and tons of money.
Mia is crowned as the new Queen of Genovia.
"It's not Merrin... It's Father Merrin."
Vincent says "if someone died on the metro, think anyone would notice?" and then head drooping, dies.
A fisherman gutting a dead shark, finds Susan's yellow waterproof camera. and says " I wonder if it still works".
A chestburster comes out of the Predator, and at the sides of its mouth we see four tiny tusks...
Pam tells Bourne that his real name is David Webb, his birthday is April 15, 1971, and he's from Newsome, Missouri.
Mackelway holds O'Ryan in his arms as he dies and O'Ryan thanks him telling him he knew it would end like this.
Wendell really likes the Movie Spoiler site and is somewhat tickled at the fact that they haven't found anybody to watch "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2"
For Once, we agree.
posted by wendell at 5:25 PM on September 1, 2004
WARNING: SPOILERS
Nameless Hero was executed as an assassin but buried as an honored hero.
Gail, Sam, Bill and Cole are the only survivors.
Del gives the friends a bag full of D.B. Cooper's parachute and tons of money.
Mia is crowned as the new Queen of Genovia.
"It's not Merrin... It's Father Merrin."
Vincent says "if someone died on the metro, think anyone would notice?" and then head drooping, dies.
A fisherman gutting a dead shark, finds Susan's yellow waterproof camera. and says " I wonder if it still works".
A chestburster comes out of the Predator, and at the sides of its mouth we see four tiny tusks...
Pam tells Bourne that his real name is David Webb, his birthday is April 15, 1971, and he's from Newsome, Missouri.
Mackelway holds O'Ryan in his arms as he dies and O'Ryan thanks him telling him he knew it would end like this.
Wendell really likes the Movie Spoiler site and is somewhat tickled at the fact that they haven't found anybody to watch "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2"
For Once, we agree.
posted by wendell at 5:25 PM on September 1, 2004
He flies the helicopter upside down and shoots Malcolm McDowell.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 5:31 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 5:31 PM on September 1, 2004
The fake crop report does the trick, and the Dukes end up penniless while our heroes eat lobster and cracked crab on the beach.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:38 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:38 PM on September 1, 2004
The symbolic erection recedes. She ends up teaching a boy's gym class, dressed in a half shirt, shorts, tights and leg-warmers. Oh, Yeah ...
Then she marries that asshole, Steven Seagal, and her whole career goes to hell. Bye, Kelly.
posted by Wulfgar! at 6:04 PM on September 1, 2004
Then she marries that asshole, Steven Seagal, and her whole career goes to hell. Bye, Kelly.
posted by Wulfgar! at 6:04 PM on September 1, 2004
They re-calibrate the phase array and divert power from the shields.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:14 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Space Coyote at 7:14 PM on September 1, 2004
She raises her dead transvestite ex-husband's illegitimate child in Madrid Barcelona.
posted by shoepal at 8:11 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by shoepal at 8:11 PM on September 1, 2004
... but I still can't believe that he would give the hard won diamond earrings to the passive-aggressive tomboy Watts instead of the sweet perky redhead Amanda.
posted by milovoo at 8:13 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by milovoo at 8:13 PM on September 1, 2004
So all the heavy metal doors close but the last one, and Max turns around to see why it doesn't, and they suddenly swing shut, hitting him on the nose.
posted by crunchland at 8:51 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by crunchland at 8:51 PM on September 1, 2004
Peter, Michael Bolton, and Samir get away with the computer scam because Milton sets fire to the building!
Woogie is actually Dom Wooganowski. Duh.
posted by naxosaxur at 9:12 PM on September 1, 2004
Woogie is actually Dom Wooganowski. Duh.
posted by naxosaxur at 9:12 PM on September 1, 2004
...and so the kindly old doctor pumped ten whole quarts of jism from Rod Stewart's belly that night, sending him on his way the next morning to live a happy, healthy life in the sweet thereafter.
posted by dhoyt at 10:55 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by dhoyt at 10:55 PM on September 1, 2004
Francesca stays with her husband; Robert Kincaid slowly drives away.
posted by SteelyDuran at 10:55 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by SteelyDuran at 10:55 PM on September 1, 2004
They look into each other's eyes as the cops draw closer, and then punch the accelerator, driving over the cliff.
posted by mwhybark at 11:00 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by mwhybark at 11:00 PM on September 1, 2004
Turns out there was no kidnapping, no ransom, the toe came from one of the Germans, and Donny died of a heart attack.
But what happened to the rug?
posted by arto at 11:06 PM on September 1, 2004
But what happened to the rug?
posted by arto at 11:06 PM on September 1, 2004
Yeah man, it really tied the room together.
posted by John Shaft at 11:32 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by John Shaft at 11:32 PM on September 1, 2004
They take Ray Milland's head back off Rosie Grier's body, and everybody lives happily ever after.
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:33 PM on September 1, 2004
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:33 PM on September 1, 2004
Charles De Gaulle ducks.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 12:24 AM on September 2, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 12:24 AM on September 2, 2004
Joey marries the ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
posted by Feisty at 12:47 AM on September 2, 2004
posted by Feisty at 12:47 AM on September 2, 2004
Producing car parts, "Forgive us mother, for I have sinned, I have too." And the family goes over the mountain.
posted by Feisty at 12:49 AM on September 2, 2004
posted by Feisty at 12:49 AM on September 2, 2004
Ray Milland removes his eyes, but can still see, if Stephen King is to be believed.
posted by John Shaft at 1:36 AM on September 2, 2004
posted by John Shaft at 1:36 AM on September 2, 2004
There turns out to be no way out of the IKEA showroom.
posted by SteelyDuran at 2:17 AM on September 2, 2004 [1 favorite]
posted by SteelyDuran at 2:17 AM on September 2, 2004 [1 favorite]
During a small gathering of friends, the author offers to tell the tale of Bach's Musical Offering, and the book begins again.
posted by SteelyDuran at 2:30 AM on September 2, 2004
posted by SteelyDuran at 2:30 AM on September 2, 2004
I'M HER MOTHER. NO, I'M HER SISTER. NO, I'M HER MOTHER. NO, I'M HER SISTER. I'M HER MOTHER!!!!
It's Chinatown, Jake.
posted by ZippityBuddha at 6:35 AM on September 2, 2004
It's Chinatown, Jake.
posted by ZippityBuddha at 6:35 AM on September 2, 2004
A robber comes in and shoots him dead, but one of the producers convinces the director to leave that scene out.
posted by wobh at 7:16 AM on September 2, 2004
posted by wobh at 7:16 AM on September 2, 2004
After killing the computer, he sees the obelisk in space and goes back to his childhood while sitting in bed.
Daniel ends up roleplaying with the geeks, Lindsey and Daniel's girlfriend go on a roadtrip with the dead. Nick enters a disco competition that Joel Hodgson hosts. Ken stays with the hermaphrodite. Sam breaks up with Cindy.
The good wizard shoots the bad wizard and hooks up with the cute fairy.
The rabbits start their own warren.
Bloom's day ends with his wife fantasizing about other men
Lenny kills someone. George kills lenny.
Brandon's camera breaks and they decide that their movie's sucked anyways.
Trinity House converts 15,000 people.
Coven is never completely finished.
Mandy Moore's character kills Jesus.
He wins her heart at a dance contest.
He was dreaming the entire film.
They lose the contest but become a real band.
They buy the evil gym.
They get arrested for not helping someone out.
He fakes his death one last time, then plays banjo.
She wins the election.
He goes with her to London.
Punk rock dies.
They lose all the money but get it back by selling flon in a tube (don't ask me how I know that one)
Christmas is saved!
posted by drezdn at 7:38 AM on September 2, 2004
Daniel ends up roleplaying with the geeks, Lindsey and Daniel's girlfriend go on a roadtrip with the dead. Nick enters a disco competition that Joel Hodgson hosts. Ken stays with the hermaphrodite. Sam breaks up with Cindy.
The good wizard shoots the bad wizard and hooks up with the cute fairy.
The rabbits start their own warren.
Bloom's day ends with his wife fantasizing about other men
Lenny kills someone. George kills lenny.
Brandon's camera breaks and they decide that their movie's sucked anyways.
Trinity House converts 15,000 people.
Coven is never completely finished.
Mandy Moore's character kills Jesus.
He wins her heart at a dance contest.
He was dreaming the entire film.
They lose the contest but become a real band.
They buy the evil gym.
They get arrested for not helping someone out.
He fakes his death one last time, then plays banjo.
She wins the election.
He goes with her to London.
Punk rock dies.
They lose all the money but get it back by selling flon in a tube (don't ask me how I know that one)
Christmas is saved!
posted by drezdn at 7:38 AM on September 2, 2004
1. He loses.
2. He wins.
3. No one cares.
4. No one cares.
5. No one cares.
posted by iconomy at 8:20 AM on September 2, 2004
2. He wins.
3. No one cares.
4. No one cares.
5. No one cares.
posted by iconomy at 8:20 AM on September 2, 2004
Jack freezes to death in the garden maze.
The sniper turns out to be a teenage girl.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 8:38 AM on September 2, 2004
The sniper turns out to be a teenage girl.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 8:38 AM on September 2, 2004
They decide to remake The Office using American actors in a US locale, and despite the talent of all involved, the show completely tanks.
posted by chicobangs at 8:48 AM on September 2, 2004
posted by chicobangs at 8:48 AM on September 2, 2004
#1: Jason dies.
#2: Jason dies.
#3: Jason dies.
#4: Jason dies.
#5: Jason dies.
#6: Jason dies.
#7: Jason dies.
posted by iconomy at 9:02 AM on September 2, 2004
#2: Jason dies.
#3: Jason dies.
#4: Jason dies.
#5: Jason dies.
#6: Jason dies.
#7: Jason dies.
posted by iconomy at 9:02 AM on September 2, 2004
Dexy's Midnight Runners' second album is not as well recieved.
posted by petebest at 11:33 AM on September 2, 2004
posted by petebest at 11:33 AM on September 2, 2004
He informs his mother that he has, in fact, made it to the top of the world. Shortly thereafter, the gas refinery explodes.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 4:31 PM on September 2, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 4:31 PM on September 2, 2004
Bill kills his wife, probably accidentally, and escapes to Tangeirs.
posted by SteelyDuran at 4:42 PM on September 2, 2004
posted by SteelyDuran at 4:42 PM on September 2, 2004
Vidiot:
Senator and Mrs. Blutarsky, Washington, D.C.
These are important details.
posted by yhbc at 5:01 PM on September 2, 2004
Senator and Mrs. Blutarsky, Washington, D.C.
These are important details.
posted by yhbc at 5:01 PM on September 2, 2004
Mathowie turns out to really be Karl Rove doing some research on the opposition.
posted by ParisParamus at 5:01 PM on September 2, 2004
posted by ParisParamus at 5:01 PM on September 2, 2004
Nirvana turns out to be the wheel of becoming.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:25 PM on September 2, 2004
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:25 PM on September 2, 2004
Ross, the largest Friend, simply eats the other five.
posted by Gortuk at 7:44 PM on September 2, 2004
posted by Gortuk at 7:44 PM on September 2, 2004
The bus ends up hanging half over a cliff. Gold at one end; heros at the other.
posted by Mitheral at 10:11 AM on September 3, 2004
posted by Mitheral at 10:11 AM on September 3, 2004
He goes to LA, but plans to come back, and leaves his guitar as evidence.
posted by taumeson at 11:50 AM on September 4, 2004
posted by taumeson at 11:50 AM on September 4, 2004
The thread goes off the front page of MeTa, but a few sad individuals keep posting to it anyway.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 8:21 AM on September 5, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 8:21 AM on September 5, 2004
30 days later the thread gets closed to further comments
posted by filmgoerjuan at 2:53 PM on September 30, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 2:53 PM on September 30, 2004
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
posted by amberglow at 6:32 PM on August 31, 2004