We are from the internet.

June 27, 2005 4:36 PM

Are we "friends" or what? [mi]
posted by ColdChef to MetaFilter-Related at 4:36 PM (57 comments total)

When you are speaking of this site in the real world, or topics we’ve discussed here, how do you refer to something that someone has written?

The obvious choices are:

Avoid referencing the source: ”I recently heard that there is biological support for marrying your cousin.” to which someone is going to ask you anyway where the hell you heard that and then you have to explain what MetaFilter is (I can’t imagine trying to explain this site to my mom). Which brings us to the next choice:

Mention where you heard the info and who said it: “I was on MetaFilter today, and fishfucker said…” but, again, are going to have to explain to someone what MetaFilter is and how this guy really isn’t really suffering from the same condition as Troy McClure. Not to mention the awkward sentence construction that is, “It’s like what the fire you left me was saying the other day…”

Vaguely refer to the member as “this person” such as:”This person I know says that…” okay, fine, you skip all the necessary explanations, but here’s the thing: I’ve “known” some of you people for four years now. And when I catch myself saying, “My friend Jon in New York…” I always hesitate, because I know I’m going to have to explain how Jon is my friend even though I’ve never actually met him and I know that if I say I met him on the internet, I’m going to sound like the kind of person who argues over who would win in a fight between Worf and Gimli.

So, my question is: how do you refer to people you meet and know on MetaFilter?
posted by ColdChef at 4:36 PM on June 27, 2005

this is a trivial problem, because I hardly ever say anything worth repeating.
posted by fishfucker at 4:43 PM on June 27, 2005

My wife can't seem to remember what Metafilter is (she can't read English, so it's not like she can scan over it to see what it is), so inevitably conversations go like this:

Me: "I read that penguins actually excrete pure xenon."
Her: "Where'd you read that?"
Me: "Metafilter."
Her: "What's Metafilter?" (again)
Me: "The blue site I'm always reading, where I got that weird video link the other day."

For regular folks, I just say "this discussion board that I read", and that seems to work. I pretty much never attribute by person to folks who don't know Mefi, because the only people who would care are people who read Metafilter. And for folks who read mefi, all you have to say is "On Mefi, Coldchef said 'I fuck penguins'. I think he meant it."
posted by Bugbread at 4:44 PM on June 27, 2005

I have a kind of similar experience to bugbread with my wife, actually, except in this case it goes:

Me: "I read that George Bush plans to launch nuclear missiles at Panama next thursday"
Her: "Where'd you read that?"
Me: "Metafilter"
Her: "Oh, that site that does the CD swap?"

She really likes the swap CDs I received.
posted by Jimbob at 4:51 PM on June 27, 2005

I use "on this internet message board" all the time, as in, "one of the people on an internet message board I read a lot said..."
posted by jonson at 4:52 PM on June 27, 2005

I just say "I was reading Metafilter," and add, if necessary, "na internet web site I frequent". Most of the people I talk to the most know about it already anyway, and several have viewed at least one thread, because I forwarded some pertinent info to them at some point.
posted by orange swan at 5:17 PM on June 27, 2005

posted by Smart Dalek at 5:19 PM on June 27, 2005 [1 favorite]

My friends and I no longer have lives apart from MetaFilter. Before MeFi we merely grunted at each other while watching cartoons. Now, we say things like "did you see that thing on MetaFilter that..."

It sure beats having real conversations.
posted by hototogisu at 5:20 PM on June 27, 2005

I pretty much never attribute by person to folks who don't know Mefi, because the only people who would care are people who read Metafilter. And for folks who read mefi, all you have to say is "On Mefi, Coldchef said 'I fuck penguins'. I think he meant it."

Yup, that about covers it.

And dude, Worf would totally wipe the floor with Gimli.
posted by languagehat at 5:25 PM on June 27, 2005 [1 favorite]

“My friend Jon in New York…”

First of all, I'm honored that you (one of the MeFite's I admire most, since you are easily one of the 2 or 3 funniest humans I've ever encountered) would refer to me that way, and rest assured I think of you the same way, since we've corresponded and interacted online in much more casual circumstances. And the same goes for MeFites I've interacted with IRL. I refer to them as freinds, especially since several of them have been there for me in tough spots that other "freinds" weren't.

Other people, who's style I admire but whom I haven't gotten to know, I simply refer to as "this neat guy/gal."

But emotional interaction is interaction, online or not
posted by jonmc at 5:42 PM on June 27, 2005

My husband sounds just like Jimbob's wife:

Him: "Where'd you read that?"
Me: "Metafilter"
Him: "Oh, that site that does the CD swap?"

Also:

I pretty much never attribute by person to folks who don't know Mefi, because the only people who would care are people who read Metafilter.

Ditto, that. And if I really need to tell my mother about an AskMe thread, I say, "I read online that..."
posted by rhapsodie at 5:49 PM on June 27, 2005

I generally just say "I read somewhere ..." and if asked where, just say "on the Internet", because to try and explain MetaFilter to someone who has never seen it just makes it sound completely trivial and pointless. It's not, is it?

Some people here are friends, some are aquaintances. I have had the same experience as jonmc in that some of the people here have helped me when peope in the real world wouldn't. Those people are friends.
posted by dg at 5:51 PM on June 27, 2005

"Someone on this internet community that I participate in said...."
posted by matildaben at 6:04 PM on June 27, 2005

Actually, at my job, a few people have started to peruse the blue after I've emailed them links to threads. (I also have my current job because of this site. long story, not worth it. thanx lilboo) A few have toyed with joining up. One said "you're like a rock star there," which was flattering.
posted by jonmc at 6:10 PM on June 27, 2005

This online community I go to that used to be closed for memberships, thereby making all the current members full as fuck of themselves said this about the government but it doesnt matter because in the end we end up just insulting each other.
posted by Dean Keaton at 6:16 PM on June 27, 2005

Me: "The blue site I'm always reading, where I got that _______ the other day."
That's my standard statement at work, when i tell someone there about something i read here. To my friends i just say "at Metafilter" and they always say, "oh yeah, i should join."
posted by amberglow at 6:19 PM on June 27, 2005

I suggested to my mother that she would enjoy MeFi. I started by sending her links - she would see flat files, of course, but could read all the posts and comments (thank goodness she didn't let the pottymouthism keep her from enjoying the pure MeFi experience!). When memberships opened again, she joined. Now she is one of the more active members - in fact, she posts far more comments and threads than I do these days! Hi Mom! (I also signed up my daughter, husband and son, so they would know what I was referring to so often).
posted by Lynsey at 6:38 PM on June 27, 2005 [1 favorite]

Truth be told, with my wife, when I say I read something on Metafilter, she rolls her eyes and sort of assumes that what I'm about to say has a very high "crank" factor.

With my friends, it actually ends up more like they say "Did you see that thing on Metafilter the other day?" and I say, "uh... no. I guess I really don't read that site as closely as I used to."
posted by crunchland at 6:57 PM on June 27, 2005

One said "you're like a rock star there," which was flattering.

you sure it wasn't meant as an insult, a la, wow man, you're the king of the dorks!

I just say "that site / message board I read a lot" to most of my friends, or sometimes just "I read online". Happens all the time though - makes me realize how much of my (conversationally relevant) influx of information is dependent on this site...
posted by mdn at 7:02 PM on June 27, 2005

you sure it wasn't meant as an insult, a la, wow man, you're the king of the dorks!

Heh. the person in question is a geek herself. She almost came to a meetup once. But I'd gladly claim the title of King Of The Dipshits.
posted by jonmc at 7:16 PM on June 27, 2005

One said "you're like a rock star there," which was flattering.
posted by jonmc at 6:10 PM PST on June 27

I wouldn't consider John Tesh a rock star, really.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:32 PM on June 27, 2005

*taps foot*

*waits for eyeballkid*
posted by Cyrano at 7:43 PM on June 27, 2005

optimus, at this moment I'm making a gesture with my fist near my crotch. I'll let you figure out the rest.
posted by jonmc at 7:45 PM on June 27, 2005

Enought of that - what's all this about fishfucker not fucking fish?
posted by soyjoy at 7:46 PM on June 27, 2005

Sorry, that should've been "enufft."
posted by soyjoy at 7:46 PM on June 27, 2005

He's busy and asked me to fill in, Cyrano.

I hate you all.
posted by yhbc at 7:47 PM on June 27, 2005

I used to hate you all, but then I found that there are a few who I no longer hate and "I hate most of you" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
posted by dg at 8:05 PM on June 27, 2005

"Mention where you heard the info and who said it: 'I was on MetaFilter today, and fishfucker said…'"

Try introducing your twelve-year-old child to your friend "fishfucker". You'll scar the poor little fellow for life, unless you've already fucked him up pretty badly. Which, of course, I had. But the point stands.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:11 PM on June 27, 2005

"Son, this is mr_crash_davis. Daddy's internet friend."

"...Gee, dad. Kevin Costner's really let himself go."
posted by ColdChef at 8:14 PM on June 27, 2005

I usually say "On the Internet..." which sounds pretty dumb, but I've gotten over it. When I'm talking to my girlfriend then I'll say "Metafilter" or "Something Awful" (gasp!).

And Worf... Totally.

Also, I saw a license plate in Halifax, NS that said "STAVROS" the other day. Weird, eh?
posted by ODiV at 8:21 PM on June 27, 2005

Try introducing your twelve-year-old child to your friend "fishfucker".

Espeially if the kid has a pet goldfish. That'd fuck him up.
posted by jonmc at 8:22 PM on June 27, 2005

Can I have your autograph, Jon?
posted by ODiV at 8:53 PM on June 27, 2005

If you're alluding to or quoting one of my comments the proper attribution is "orthogonality, speaking ex cathedra from her navel".
posted by orthogonality at 8:53 PM on June 27, 2005

I have the typical geek habit of sharing any and all information that might potentially be relevant. Which is great at quiz night, but annoying in casual conversation. People geeky enough to actually encourage me to speak more (say, regarding my source) do not need me to explain what MeFi is.
posted by cali at 11:41 PM on June 27, 2005

Tougher than hell fitting 'thewonderchicken' on a licence plate.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:42 PM on June 27, 2005

When you are speaking of this site in the real world...

There's a "real world"? And you have friends in it?
posted by dabitch at 12:52 AM on June 28, 2005

"If I told you that, I'd have to kill you," works for me.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:56 AM on June 28, 2005

fishfucker writes "this is a trivial problem, because I hardly ever say anything worth repeating."

Worth repeating...
posted by benzo8 at 3:12 AM on June 28, 2005

because I hardly ever say anything worth repeating.

you're wildly underestimating the coolness factor of the words "my friend fishfucker says that...". content becomes unimportant, then.

When you are speaking of this site in the real world, or topics we’ve discussed here, how do you refer to something that someone has written?

unless I'm quoting fishfucker I say, "I just read that..." etc.
and if it's something that jonmc said I just say "my nephew Giovanni told me that...", and people are indeed quite baffled at that
posted by matteo at 3:55 AM on June 28, 2005

Can I have your autograph, Jon?

Sure. Female fans, I'll be happy to sign any body part you like. Except the pancreas. I don't have the right pen.
posted by jonmc at 6:47 AM on June 28, 2005

I refer to you all as my imaginary friends. Except for Jon, who is my imaginary rock star friend.
posted by theora55 at 6:48 AM on June 28, 2005

*pant*...I got hear as fast as.... *cough* .... I could and....

HEY! GODDAMNIT I HATE YOU THE MOST COMMISH!

(and jrun. ¡HATE! jrun)
posted by eyeballkid at 7:45 AM on June 28, 2005

Me: ". . . on metafilter"
Husband: (again) "whazzat?"
Me: "like Sportsfilter, but with all kinds of stuff."
posted by rainbaby at 9:39 AM on June 28, 2005

Since I've met you, ColdChef, I call you my friend. The rest of these freaks I call "the rest of these freaks". Jonmc I call "Grumpy McRockStar".
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:43 AM on June 28, 2005

I've received some strange looks in the past when I've said things like "Stavrosthewonderchicken was saying..."

Now I just say "I read on Metafilter" which causes people's eyes to glaze over as I say it far too often.
posted by Tarrama at 10:18 AM on June 28, 2005

stavrosthewonderchicken writes "Tougher than hell fitting 'thewonderchicken' on a licence plate"

You'd have to get it on a Firebird and then you have the chicken part covered (or am I the only one who calls firebirds firechickens?).
posted by Mitheral at 11:12 AM on June 28, 2005

I don't think any of you are my friends. But I wish some of you were, because I could use more friends.
posted by tr33hggr at 11:27 AM on June 28, 2005

I find that when I don't attribute my sources, it makes me sound smarter. And trust me, I need all the help I can get in that department. So basically, I'm passing off your thoughts as my own.

Keep up the good work, Mefites.
posted by Jart at 12:21 PM on June 28, 2005

I just realized how sweet my husband is. He never subjects me to the stuff he reads on the bike boards, but he knows all you guys second hand. He knows who is boring, who is obnoxious, who is intriguing, who is reasonable, who is clever, who is funny, who is long-winded, and just who it is exactly that I have a crush on.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:44 PM on June 28, 2005

I wish some of you were, because I could use more friends.

I know what ya mean, tr33hggr. I talk to the trees, but they don't listen to me.
posted by soyjoy at 8:20 PM on June 28, 2005

Holy crap, soyjoy, did you just make a "Paint Your Wagon" reference??
posted by librarina at 10:40 PM on June 28, 2005

"So on this website I go to a lot..." is about as far as I get before my In Real Life friends glaze over or get that pitying 'she is such a pathetic geek' look.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:56 AM on June 29, 2005

'My invisible friends' then we all have a laugh about my social disability.

Then everyone bemoans the fact they haven't the time to trawl the 'filter like I do and we talk about what they have seen at boingboing.

I am your friend tr33huggr.
And soyjoy
*hugs*
posted by asok at 6:02 AM on June 29, 2005

I love you all.

Except when I hate you all. Then I just love you a wee bit less.

If that's friends, then that's that, then.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:12 AM on June 29, 2005

Awww, thanks asok. :)
posted by tr33hggr at 1:32 PM on June 29, 2005

Then everyone bemoans the fact they haven't the time to trawl the 'filter like I do and we talk about what they have seen at boingboing.

I can attest that this occurs, though with myself in the place of asok. I find that plenty of geek-ish-ite-ists are aware of MetaFilter but, for whatever reason, lack the tenacity (temerity?) to actually keep up. Are they intimidated, or -- heaven forfend -- scared?

Perhaps they should be.




9622v2 4evar
posted by gramschmidt at 5:43 PM on June 29, 2005

I got a few friends to join once. They missed a day, got too far behind and quit.

And that's why they'll never win at MetaFilter.
posted by ColdChef at 9:58 PM on June 29, 2005