Pretty_Generic's comment now available on merchandise

November 16, 2005 10:59 AM

Just in case anyone hadn't noticed, this thread led to this comment, which led, perhaps inevitably, to this store. Buy your shirts, mugs and stickers now, to support Pretty_Generic's best Infocom/Nixon crossover gag ever.
posted by Faint of Butt to MetaFilter-Related at 10:59 AM (57 comments total)

Oh my God, that's fabulous.
posted by Gator at 11:04 AM on November 16, 2005

Heheheheh
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:06 AM on November 16, 2005

I love it, but shouldn't it really be:

The Watergate Hotel
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by agnew.

>_

posted by cerebus19 at 11:16 AM on November 16, 2005 [1 favorite]

Can you not put it on a black t-shirt? If you could put the white lettering on a black t-shirt (and hopefully incorporate cerebus19's suggestion), I'd buy it.
posted by gd779 at 11:19 AM on November 16, 2005

You're quite right. However, I feel unable to rewrite history.

Anyone familiar with CafePress? It says I've had no customers, even though several people say they've bought stuff. Is there a delay before I get told? Or did everyone buy in the brief period before I remembered to put on a mark-up?

Holy shat I'm poor.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:19 AM on November 16, 2005

May I suggest a slightly larger font, so that one would not have to breach social boundaries for random passersby to see it?

When I was thirteen or so, I used to have a button on my jacket that said, "It's none of your business what it says." While cute, I eventually learned that it caused people to get closer to me than I would have liked.
posted by Gator at 11:20 AM on November 16, 2005

I designed a black t-shirt, but they don't sell them yet. Coming soon I guess, unless someone can suggest a better custom-t-shirt site.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:20 AM on November 16, 2005

I designed a black t-shirt, but they don't sell them yet

It looks like they sell them. Am I missing something?

I want one of these shirts. Badly.
posted by gd779 at 11:22 AM on November 16, 2005

Um, this may make me look incredibly dim, but I have honestly no idea why this is funny, nor why adding a >_ makes it funnier. Could someone explain?
posted by jack_mo at 11:23 AM on November 16, 2005

Anyone familiar with CafePress?

Log-in -> Sales Reports -> Order Report -> All Dates should show everything, including sales with no markup. Maybe takes a few days?
posted by eddydamascene at 11:24 AM on November 16, 2005

It's a bit of a swindle - they let you design the shirts now but they anticipate you will be able to sell them in a "few weeks".
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:25 AM on November 16, 2005

Thanks eddy, I missed that particular report.

I really want to have the shirts look like a screenshot... do you guys really think the font is unreadably small? Maybe I should make another store with larger-font shirts.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:28 AM on November 16, 2005

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh. There you go, jack_mo. :)
posted by Gator at 11:29 AM on November 16, 2005

jack_mo, explaining any joke kills the humor... but just for reference, P_G is punning part of an OLD text based adventure game (zork).

here is the game as rendered on the net
posted by edgeways at 11:30 AM on November 16, 2005

Um, this may make me look incredibly dim, but I have honestly no idea why this is funny, nor why adding a >_ makes it funnier. Could someone explain?

HELLO SAILOR

>
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:33 AM on November 16, 2005

Big font shirts
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:45 AM on November 16, 2005

It really makes no sense. Please, kill the joke by explaining it, since it's dead to many of us already.

That's a shame, since it's brilliant. You young kinds have no appreciation of history, do ya?
posted by gd779 at 11:47 AM on November 16, 2005

Thanks all. Sorry for forcing the explanation/joke-ruination.

Never really played any computer games, but those text-only ones have look rather more fun than, er, whatever the name is for the sort people play on Playstations and such.

HELLO SAILOR

>

They had retro gay text games? So I'd type 'How bona to varda your eek' at this point, then?
posted by jack_mo at 11:48 AM on November 16, 2005

Oh, dear gods. All right, since anyone who would actually get the joke has already gotten it...

In many Infocom text adventures, particularly the Zork series, whenever you entered a dark area, the game would say, "It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue." A "grue" is a monstrous creature that lives in total darkness and feeds on lanternless adventurers.

Richard Nixon's vice president was Spiro Agnew, who was instrumental in the break-in staged at the Watergate hotel, the scandal that eventually brought down Nixon's entire administration.

The phrases "a grue" and "Agnew" are pronounced similarly, and when an unexpected phrase is switched for a different, similar-sounding one for deliberate humorous effect, this is called a "pun."

Clear?
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:50 AM on November 16, 2005

I really am exceptionally poor if someone could nudge this into some nest of geeks such as slashdot or something awful I would be most grateful and have food to eat also tia
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:54 AM on November 16, 2005

My mom, aunt, and uncle used to spend hours and hours playing Zork on an IBM 8086 (cost, around $5,000). As a kid, I never liked Zork -- too static. I like the super-thrill of 8-bit graphics. Decathlon, anyone?

[snip explanation -- Faint of Butt beat me to it]
posted by teece at 11:56 AM on November 16, 2005

You young kinds have no appreciation of history, do ya?

Well, I did get the Nixon, Agnew and Watergate parts.

(I can't actually believe theres so much computer game history on Wikipedia, yet I always hit 'We don't have an article called...' pages when doing research for work. Suppose the point is that I should be changing that rather than moaning about it.)
posted by jack_mo at 11:57 AM on November 16, 2005

Why does this remind me of The Simpsons, and the Dennis Millier Ratio^TM?
posted by SweetJesus at 12:02 PM on November 16, 2005

buy an effing text ad.
posted by crunchland at 12:02 PM on November 16, 2005

...
Richard Nixon's vice president was Spiro Agnew, who was instrumental in the break-in staged at the Watergate hotel, the scandal that eventually brought down Nixon's entire administration
...


What's most remarkable is that this all happened before P_G was born, and in a different country, too. It's like Eddie Izzard doing his stand-up in France, in French.

Kudos, my boy.
posted by dash_slot- at 12:10 PM on November 16, 2005

buy an effing text ad.

Those were discontinued, snark-master general.
posted by eddydamascene at 12:11 PM on November 16, 2005

dash_slot- is a lovely chap
posted by Pretty_Generic at 12:14 PM on November 16, 2005

Standing ovation for P_G... this really made me smile.

Also, any Infocom-related thread cannot be allowed to end without a reference to flashboy's idea for a creation-related text adventure.
posted by greycap at 12:21 PM on November 16, 2005

Agnew was not instrumental in the Watergate break-in . He was never implicated in the break-in or the coverup. He resigned over bribery charges from when he had been governor of Maryland.
posted by TimeFactor at 12:51 PM on November 16, 2005

::nods::
posted by dash_slot- at 12:52 PM on November 16, 2005

Agnew was not instrumental in the Watergate break-in.

Are you sure?
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:57 PM on November 16, 2005

Seconding cerebus19's comment above, wouldn't it be better as:

The Watergate Hotel
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by agnew.

>_
posted by nobody at 1:23 PM on November 16, 2005

So PG, if you make any money are you going to buy your fellow London mefi friends a drink or are you just going to spend it on floozies again.
posted by dodgygeezer at 1:25 PM on November 16, 2005

Ok, no text-ad. Maybe take it here, then. Funny joke or not, a single user's financially enriching project, no matter how trivial, clearly doesn't belong here.
posted by crunchland at 1:29 PM on November 16, 2005

Agnew was not instrumental in the Watergate break-in.

Are you sure?
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:57 PM PST on November 16

Interestingly, the wikipedia page on Watergate makes no mention of a grue Agnew.
posted by dash_slot- at 1:35 PM on November 16, 2005

Actually, the pre-Infocom version of Zork (Dungeon) shown here doesn't have room titles. So, I'm just keepin it raw and retro.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 1:39 PM on November 16, 2005

Funny joke or not, a single user's financially enriching project, no matter how trivial, clearly doesn't belong here.

I disagree. P_G is a regular contributor here who made a joke in one of his comments. Some people here liked the joke, so P_G made shirts, and now he's trying to sell it to the people who read his comment comment and liked the joke. It's not like this is some off-MetaFilter project that he came here just to hype. This is as "MetaFilter-related" as you can get without Matt's approval and a logo.
posted by gd779 at 1:46 PM on November 16, 2005

Oh, and obviously, it's important that P_G didn't self-link to talk about the shirts. But he didn't, so it's all good.
posted by gd779 at 1:50 PM on November 16, 2005

Agnew was not instrumental in the Watergate break-in.

Are you sure?
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:57 PM PST on November 16

Yes.
posted by TimeFactor at 2:30 PM on November 16, 2005

Are you likely to be eaten by a grue?
posted by eddydamascene at 2:36 PM on November 16, 2005

[this is good]

>_
posted by shmegegge at 2:59 PM on November 16, 2005

TELL ME that's not awesome use of the blink tag!
posted by shmegegge at 3:00 PM on November 16, 2005

Thanks P_G, that brightened my day immensely. I actually snorted loudly. And seeing that I have a terrible head cold, it really hurt.
posted by Razzle Bathbone at 3:05 PM on November 16, 2005

Oh, and obviously, it's important that P_G didn't self-link to talk about the shirts. But he didn't, so it's all good.

Yeah, but how do we know that Faint of Butt isn't P_G's sock puppet?
posted by gyc at 4:01 PM on November 16, 2005

Do you see any socks for sale at that store?

QED.
posted by cortex at 4:40 PM on November 16, 2005

TELL ME that's not awesome use of the blink tag!

That's not awesome use... not... use...

Aw, hell. Awesome.
posted by gsteff at 4:45 PM on November 16, 2005

It's important that P_G didn't self-link to talk about the shirts

well he did, actually. He just didn't this time.
posted by jessamyn at 6:15 PM on November 16, 2005

The phrases "a grue" and "Agnew" are pronounced similarly, and when an unexpected phrase is switched for a different, similar-sounding one for deliberate humorous effect, this is called a "pun."
Clear?
Well, that part is clear, but the part about why is is funny seems a little murky to me.

Also, crunchland is right - MetaTalk may be many things, most of which are unhealthy, but it is not for shilling user merchandise.
posted by dg at 6:32 PM on November 16, 2005

Pretty_Generic writes "I really am exceptionally poor if someone could nudge this into some nest of geeks such as slashdot or something awful I would be most grateful and have food to eat also tia"

German whores are expensive. And the big-headed ones cost extra.
posted by orthogonality at 7:28 PM on November 16, 2005

I forget--was there an FPP about these shirts, self-linked by P_G? (no)

Then what's the problem?

There are pictures of mefi shirts floating around--did these just spontaneously originate from the cheesecloth of the internet, or did they get posted, here, sometime in the past?
posted by hototogisu at 8:51 PM on November 16, 2005

I LOVE EDDIE IZZARD


and "dress to circle" was not that great, imho. but i'll be damned if dressed to kill and a few of these older ones i have on VHS (San Francisco performance and one in a giant theatre in London) are not some of the most brilliant one man comedy/condescending education I have ever seen.

When will we get Sexi in the US? That's my question.

/derail
posted by lazaruslong at 9:04 PM on November 16, 2005

Well, this official U.S. government site says: Innocent of any connection to Watergate, Agnew spoke out in Nixon's defense. (It does discuss in some detail Agnew's own problems, which lead to his resignation.)

Agnew wasn't part of Nixon's inner circle of advisers and confidants; in fact, in mid-1971, Nixon was considering how to dump Agnew. (Same source as above.)
posted by WestCoaster at 9:26 PM on November 16, 2005

It was all part of Agnew's plan. To get back in Nixon's good graces, he would dispose of any intruders in the Watergate scandal. He also forgot to bring a lunch, and the vending machines in the lobby ate his change.
posted by Saydur at 9:38 PM on November 16, 2005

Spiro Gyra on the other hand? Guilty as sin.
posted by arto at 10:31 PM on November 16, 2005

Well, this official U.S. government site says: Innocent of any connection to Watergate, Agnew spoke out in Nixon's defense.
posted by WestCoaster

Oh, then I guess it isn't funny after all. And here I laughed for nothing.
You humourless git....
posted by Floydd at 1:22 AM on November 17, 2005

Did the joke come from the same place as all the image macros, I find myself wondering, with too little charity.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:47 AM on November 17, 2005

FWIW, Spiro Agnew rearranged = Grow a Penis


George washington? Gaggin' on wet horse.
posted by lazaruslong at 12:22 PM on November 18, 2005