Why has "deal with it" become the ultimate write-off at the end of a post? October 11, 2001 10:11 PM   Subscribe

Why has "deal with it" become the ultimate write-off at the end of a post? (more...)
posted by cyniczny to Etiquette/Policy at 10:11 PM (19 comments total)

To me, it suggests that the poster isn't interested in discussing the issue and whomever they're addressing is merely an idiot who can't see the bloody obvious. Is this dismissive language really necessary?
posted by cyniczny at 10:12 PM on October 11, 2001

it's not necessary, of course, but people will continue to use it because everyone wants to Win The Argument by shutting the other person up.
posted by moz at 10:18 PM on October 11, 2001

As being a person who used this as per your link, cyniczny, it is not used as dismissive language.

It is used to point out that there are facts that you disagree with. In my sense, 'deal with it' means that the facts that you are railing against are temporarily unchangeable. The facts point towards my opinion.

As an example:

I like the color blue.
You tell me I should like the color red because it's a wonderful color and everyone loves it. 'I can't believe you still like plain-old blue' you say.
In this case I say 'Deal With It'.
posted by ttrendel at 10:34 PM on October 11, 2001

It certainly comes off as sounding brusque and somewhat stupid.
posted by Marquis at 11:01 PM on October 11, 2001

Metafilter euphemisms for "fuck you" and "no, fuck you" are fascinating and deserve further study. I like "get over yourself" as it's simultaneously cruel, true and impossible to achieve. "Chill" is very effective and generally called for, anyway. Though it loses its barb if accompanied by the chummy "you guys". "Have you read the link(insert nickname)?" is devastating. "Thanks for sharing" is also good. Mothership references, too, are always welcomingly insulting.

BUT...the pancakes references, cyniczny(that's what you were really asking about, right?) I still don't get... but I fear the worst.

P.S. My favourite rejoinder, btw, is the stiff-upper-lip English habit of reacting to some boring, repetitive harangue with "So you say..."

So you say - I love that! Pity I don't have the aplomb or the custard-stained old school tie to go with it.
So I guess "deal with it" or, at a pinch, "get a grip on yourself, man!" are about as far as we can go, for the moment.

posted by MiguelCardoso at 11:12 PM on October 11, 2001

Sorry for being an idiot, but can someone explain the pancake thing? I have seen this inside joke a lot lately and am feeling left out.

posted by phatboy at 12:10 AM on October 12, 2001

Deal with it, phatboy. :)

Pancake info here.
posted by Optamystic at 12:30 AM on October 12, 2001

Right, thats a full imperial quart of a sticky Mint Julep sprayed over every single key except ª and º.
The invoice is in the post, Optamystic.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 12:35 AM on October 12, 2001

I have suddenly realized that there's a gaping hole in my vast and badly woven tapestry of life experience.

I have never had a Mint Julep. I wanna ride the green horse!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:48 AM on October 12, 2001

Ya know what's funny? I'm old blood North Florida/South Georgia White Trash. I, too, have never had a mint julep. And some guy in freakin' Portugal (!) reminds me of that fact. I simply love this site. (and thanks for the shoutout, Miguel).
posted by Optamystic at 2:03 AM on October 12, 2001

It was a turbo-driven double nosejet, with random distribution, mint slivers on the loudspeakers, an awful sour mash aroma about the whole installation and one humongous, grossly unscandinavian cane-sugar splatter all over my previously immaculate Nokia screen.

You'll have gathered by this how to make a Mint Julep. But I'll be emailing you both the best recipe(James Beard's)in case you never make it to (harrumph) " freakin'" Portugal.

Phatboy will pay for this.

posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:22 AM on October 12, 2001

::Mint Julep::
Stavros, you've not missed a thing. They are truly awful. (Sorry Miguel).
A once-girlfriend served me one as part of a get-me-drunk birthday spree at a local drinkery. It came right after some weird thingy which seemed to consist of a glass full of cherries, sweet goo, and rubbing alcohol - which admittedly may have prejudiced my last active taste bud. Anyway, one of the reasons she Juleped me was because I am South, and she was Seattle, and part of typing the stereo involves hot tin roofs, Big Daddy, and Mint Juleps. It was ghastly.

I've not had one since - neither my bartendered serving nor the inevitable porcelain-and-sweat redux recommend it. Anyone else had one - and liked it?
posted by Opus Dark at 5:12 AM on October 12, 2001

Miguel: Very funny analysis of our culture. Just once, I'd like to see someone use the dismissive phrase "talk to the hand." Maybe it doesn't work in print.
posted by rcade at 5:19 AM on October 12, 2001

The Mint Julep is a Mojito, spoiled.

My favourite dismissive riposte, from years of Oxford tutorials: the withering "Re-ally?", normally delivered as the tutor peers over his spectacles. Doesn't work on screen. Though "Quite." can sometimes be effective.
posted by holgate at 7:42 AM on October 12, 2001

posted by briank at 8:14 AM on October 12, 2001

No....a mojito has rum and sugar and a mint julip has bourbon and syrup. As a Southern Latina, I enjoy both.
posted by jennak at 8:45 AM on October 12, 2001


Quite. But "How interesting..." is also good. And "Well that's certainly something I'd never considered". Worse of all, "Good for you! I'm glad you said that, because..."

Variant-destructive:" I can see why you'd say that, yes..."

All it means is "you stupid cunt; go and waste someone else's time before I kill you".

But it is effective because, at that age, we are more or less that.

(culled from All Souls' seminars and its particular lunchtime chic, with the silver tankard full of dreadful bitter in hand, if you're very lucky, lad)

P.S. A Mojito is Cuban rum, mint and soda water. A Mint Julep is what I'll shortly be sending you by email. Jennak is quite right.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:33 AM on October 12, 2001

As the guilty party who posted both the "deal with it" comment linked above and "get over yourself" -- both directed at the same person in the same thread, I have to say that I'm about 50% sorry about it.

Since this was the umpteenth smackdown confrontation between atheists and believers over the last couple of days, I'll admit my patience was wearing a little thin. I didn't intend them as dismissive, I intended them to mean what they say, but I also used them because they're good sound bites - I admit it.

If it's really a concern, let me know. I think I used them in context, though, not as casual brusqueness.
posted by JParker at 11:15 AM on October 12, 2001

(I still shudder to think of the genteel guttings handed out to unsuspecting academics at the "Restoration to Reform" seminar at All Souls'. eek. And it's the bourbon that spoils a mint julep. icky sticky.)

The problem with the "Paging God" discussions is that the next thread is likely to start off at loggerheads. grr.
posted by holgate at 12:56 PM on October 12, 2001

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