Please stop bashing Texas

October 6, 2006 12:28 PM

And fuck the Texas bashers most of all.
Bunch of ignorant bigots
If you're making a post about Texas you should reconsider, as many recent threads have ended in shouting matches that do nothing good for the site or the community. If you do insist on posting about those subjects, make sure it's actually something of major importance or at the very least interesting, and not just another news blip about a teacher being fired for taking their students to a museum.
posted by matteo to Etiquette/Policy at 12:28 PM (116 comments total)

posted by matteo at 12:29 PM on October 6, 2006

It makes a change from the usual steer/queer-based story.
posted by riotgrrl69 at 12:30 PM on October 6, 2006

this thread is worthless without pictures
posted by lester's sock puppet at 12:34 PM on October 6, 2006

Oh, I don't know that "aren't prudes prudish" posts don't do anything good for the site or the community. What was fighting to the fight club?
posted by DenOfSizer at 12:38 PM on October 6, 2006

I'd be fonder of Texas if all my exes didn't live there.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:39 PM on October 6, 2006

I'm also told that the stars at night are big and bright...
posted by jonmc at 12:42 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by pyramid termite at 12:44 PM on October 6, 2006 [2 favorites]

This thread will be so great.
posted by dead_ at 12:44 PM on October 6, 2006

I read it as him joking around a bit. This comment seems more caustic than the one you linked.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 12:44 PM on October 6, 2006

abortion
atheism
bands you like
bicycles
childbearing
christians
circumcision
declawing
drugs
gobots
guns
obesity
middle east
Texas

Got it.
posted by brain_drain at 12:46 PM on October 6, 2006 [2 favorites]

Gobots?!
posted by riotgrrl69 at 12:49 PM on October 6, 2006

Fuck GoBots.
posted by cribcage at 12:52 PM on October 6, 2006

Just making sure y'all are paying attention.
posted by brain_drain at 12:54 PM on October 6, 2006

So... the revolution *won't* be televised? Because it gets matteo's goat? Well, now, that there ain't neighborly.
posted by squirrel at 12:57 PM on October 6, 2006

No, it's true!

Also, this probably isn't worth an FPP. But go to it!
posted by riotgrrl69 at 12:57 PM on October 6, 2006

Transformers Gobots
posted by Stauf at 12:57 PM on October 6, 2006

Caustic? Yeah. But I just can't up with peoples bullshit perseption of this place. They think everyone in Texas loves GWB and sleeps with a bible under their pillow. Oh, we're also ignorant and we hate nudey art.

And if you think you can change their mind by arguing on the internet, forget it. They'll still think we're a bunch of backwards inbreds. So fuck 'em.
posted by bob sarabia at 12:57 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

can't put up

We don't believe in proofreading in Texas.
posted by bob sarabia at 12:58 PM on October 6, 2006

FUCK THE FUCKING GOBOTS, SHIT.
posted by loquacious at 12:59 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

They'll still think we're a bunch of backwards inbreds. So fuck 'em.

only if they got right purty mouths.

sorry
posted by jonmc at 1:01 PM on October 6, 2006

That thread ought to be an embarrassment to anyone who considers themselves an enlightened and sophisticated progressive. Instead it seems to be heralded.

There ought to be a word in the English language which captures the idea of people decrying the provincial bigotry of others in a provincial and bigoted tone.
posted by dios at 1:01 PM on October 6, 2006

I wanted to add one more thing: that thread does have some worth insofar as it permits us another example of the fact that languagehat is one of the few people on this site who has consistency in his views and does not sacrifice his intellectual integrity for a cheap point. So good for him (and those who said similar comments).
posted by dios at 1:06 PM on October 6, 2006

So gobots are out but people can get all moony about Transformers? This sucks.

Seriously though, Texas is the new New Jersey, like it or not. By which I mean "laughingstock of the lower 48", not "state that sends most of its kids on to higher education".

And Hawaii - don't get me started. Hawaii, you're a pussy! (scroll down til you get to the transcript by Ryan; anyone know where I can find video?)
posted by Mister_A at 1:12 PM on October 6, 2006

dios writes "That thread ought to be an embarrassment to anyone who considers themselves an enlightened and sophisticated progressive. Instead it seems to be heralded."

I'm not sure what you mean by "heralded", but it seems that the thread started with a few immature kneejerk comments "AMERIKA IS A GULAG!; TEXANS ARE INBRED JESUS-SLAVES!" that got promptly and thoroughly torn down by the bulk of the community. Those kind of thoughtless, immature comments generally don't stand unanswered here.
posted by mr_roboto at 1:17 PM on October 6, 2006

There ought to be a word in the English language which captures the idea of people decrying the provincial bigotry of others in a provincial and bigoted tone.

"Irony"?

*world implodes*
posted by gompa at 1:20 PM on October 6, 2006

There ought to be a word in the English language which captures the idea of people decrying the provincial bigotry of others in a provincial and bigoted tone.

*cough*
posted by jonmc at 1:23 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

I had also completely forgot about the Roy-Orbison-in-cling-wrap thing, which is easily one of the most subtly disturbing pieces of mindrot available on the net.

But I forget we have very important things to discuss here and now:

How much did the GoBots actually suck? Did they suck more than Captain Power? Did they suck even more than a PogoBal?
posted by loquacious at 1:26 PM on October 6, 2006

Ya know what's funny? Seeing a Parisian going on about how fucked up the people are in Languedoc.
posted by bardic at 1:32 PM on October 6, 2006

And the Dwarves going on about the Hobbits. Then there's the Dwarves who move to the Shire and start thinkin' they're Hobbits. We call them 'Dobbits.'...
posted by jonmc at 1:34 PM on October 6, 2006

loquacious: "How much did the GoBots actually suck?"

Depends. Turbo sucked pretty hard, but Dyson DC07 had mad cyclonic vacuum skillz.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:34 PM on October 6, 2006

And seeing puke & cry bob sarabia getting indignant about anything.
posted by bardic at 1:39 PM on October 6, 2006

The Gobots were to the Transformers as Midnight Oil was to U2.
posted by drezdn at 1:46 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Domo arigato
posted by riotgrrl69 at 1:47 PM on October 6, 2006

That's just crazy talk, drezdn.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:48 PM on October 6, 2006

IRFH, SCOOTER WAS A SAINT!

FUCKING ROCKS THAT TRANSFORMED!!!! DID TRANSFORMERS HAVE THAT AVANTE GARDE GRAVITAS?
posted by drezdn at 1:49 PM on October 6, 2006

Ugh midnight oil. You know what, fuck Australia for generating them and Men Without Hats.
posted by Mister_A at 1:51 PM on October 6, 2006

Midnight Oil was a surprisingly good live band.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:52 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by riotgrrl69 at 1:52 PM on October 6, 2006 [3 favorites]

I think you mean Men At Work, you elitist provincial bigot, you. Men Without Hats are from the province of Québec.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:53 PM on October 6, 2006

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE OBVIOUS RACISM IN TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!
posted by drezdn at 1:54 PM on October 6, 2006

Thanks Blazecock that struck me really funny. Fuck any random group of men!
posted by Mister_A at 1:55 PM on October 6, 2006

I'm a little late to this thread, and I don't have much to say about what's already been said, but I wanted to add this, and I feel this very strong: Anyone who has a problem with Gobots has a problem with Jonson. And there will be repurcussions, motherfuckers.
posted by jonson at 1:55 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Since moving to the Pacific Northwest from the South, I am amazed at how often people here laugh and make fun of Southerners because Southerners are prejudiced and use stereotypes.
posted by trey at 1:56 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Fuck, now I have "Beds Are Burning" running through my head, and I'm terribly worried that Mission UK is the only thing that'll get it out. I'm even more worried that I'll have to play The Cult or even INXS, next, and that can only lead to me blasting Pop Will Eat Itselfs "Cure for Sanity" at earsplitting volumes to clear that out, or worse, Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine.

Midnight Oil would have been better than U2, anyway. Well. Less annoying. I think. That's the letter 2 and the numeral U... and these guys are from England and who gives a shit!? FUCK SNUGGLES.
posted by loquacious at 1:56 PM on October 6, 2006

Man, I live like 10 minutes away from the elementary school in question in that thread. And I hate that people attack Texas for being everything that's wrong with America. Texas is just a state. It's a big state that's proud of itself, maybe a little too much, but it's just a place with people in it. People are people and will do stupid stuff anywhere. Being dumb and conservative isn't a Texan disease. Being Texan and liberal for the last 6 years has sucked. You know how you feel when people from outside the US are all "Americans are so silly and backwards lol" and you want to shake them and show them everything good about America? That's what it feels like when people attack Texas or laugh it off as a state full of flag wavin' gun totin' hicks who watch FOX news on the TVs in their SUVs on the way to church (running over a few queers and hippie pinkos on the way). I like Texas. It's my home. I wish people would stop making me feel guilty for loving my home.
posted by MadamM at 1:57 PM on October 6, 2006 [4 favorites]

"Fuck any random group of men!" HA! You said that to "Blazecock." Ha. I'm easily amused when I'm supposed to be working.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:57 PM on October 6, 2006

Hey, jonson? Shut the fuck up and go play with your transforming rocks!
posted by loquacious at 1:58 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Anyone who has a problem with Gobots has a problem with Jonson. And there will be repurcussions, motherfuckers.

I hate Gobots. But love pugs. What's a man to do?

On the issue of Texas... I was ready to condemn all of the people who just knee-jerk into Texas-bashing. But: Matthew McCaughnehey. So, fuck Texas.
posted by COBRA! at 2:00 PM on October 6, 2006

Fuck any random group of men!

Wrap that rascal! But don't use shrink-wrap.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:01 PM on October 6, 2006

*Adds COBRA! to the list*
posted by drezdn at 2:02 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by loquacious at 2:03 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

If I had a dime for every time I heard that one...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:04 PM on October 6, 2006

How can you hate on gobots? You people are awful. It's not funny.

Hey, jonson? Shut the fuck up and go play with your transforming rocks!

You mean Rock Lords? Yeah, a tiny plastic car or plane is great camouflage.
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:04 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by loquacious at 2:06 PM on October 6, 2006

Plus, if you got bored with Rock Lords, they were far more effective when thrown than other transforming items.
posted by drezdn at 2:07 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by caddis at 2:07 PM on October 6, 2006

caddis: Flag and move on.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:08 PM on October 6, 2006 [3 favorites]

Midnight Oil's Peter Garrett is now a member in the national parliament in Oz (in the not-John Howard party, Labor).
posted by peacay at 2:11 PM on October 6, 2006

You know who else liked big flags? Hitler.

And this guy:

Don't be this guy.
posted by loquacious at 2:13 PM on October 6, 2006

People from outside the US are all "Americans are so silly and backwards lol" because, these days, those Americans are running the country and getting most of the press.
posted by you just lost the game at 2:13 PM on October 6, 2006

RIck Santorun predicted stuff like this ^^^
posted by Mister_A at 2:14 PM on October 6, 2006

*messes with Texas*
posted by cortex at 2:17 PM on October 6, 2006

That's because Rick Santorum is way into stuff like that.

All that repression has to come out somewhere.
posted by loquacious at 2:17 PM on October 6, 2006

Can you believe I have to vote for that idiot Bob Casey next week?

/ducks
posted by Mister_A at 2:18 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by ericb at 2:18 PM on October 6, 2006

Month. Next month.

Way to ruin my own joke, me!
posted by Mister_A at 2:18 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by Stauf at 2:20 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by If I Had An Anus at 2:22 PM on October 6, 2006

posted by Rhomboid at 2:26 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

posted by loquacious at 2:37 PM on October 6, 2006

How much did the GoBots actually suck?

The SI unit for suckage is the H2, which is an abbreviation for "Highlander2," a fictitious terrible movie that many people have a delusion of having seen.

GoBots suck 11 mH2, relatively low on the scale. Your favorite band sucks 1.1 H2.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:41 PM on October 6, 2006

fuckity fuck, fuck fuck
posted by edgeways at 3:00 PM on October 6, 2006

That thread was a huge mess. But the line, Lord deliver me from hot sauce jackoffs, brought me tears of joy.
posted by horsewithnoname at 3:06 PM on October 6, 2006

I move that henceforth, in all Texas-related threads, George W. Bush shall be referred to as "Leader-1."
posted by cribcage at 3:09 PM on October 6, 2006

I hate everyone who lives south of Philadelphia and north of Cancun. I have fantasies of General Sherman and his army rising from the grave and killing the lot of you fuckers. There, I said it.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:16 PM on October 6, 2006

OK, I went ahead and created a GoBots post.
posted by brain_drain at 3:20 PM on October 6, 2006

That's awesome. You created an FPP thread so we wouldn't derail the MeTa.

My head is spinning.
posted by cribcage at 3:30 PM on October 6, 2006

We fight them in the blue, so you don't have to fight them in the grey. Boogerheads.
posted by blue_beetle at 4:10 PM on October 6, 2006

Fuck Text Etc.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 5:05 PM on October 6, 2006

Since moving to the Pacific Northwest from the South, I am amazed

Trey, I've noticed it too, and after a few years it really starts to become tiresome. The first thing people say when they find out where I'm from is usually, "I'm sorry." FWIW, I'm living in Seattle right now too.
posted by digitalis at 5:26 PM on October 6, 2006

The first thing people say when they find out where I'm from is usually, "I'm sorry."

It's because they're imagining you rogering your cousin and they're ashamed.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:50 PM on October 6, 2006

Fuck Text Etc.

Lord deliver me from hot sauce jackoffs, whatever are you trying to say?
posted by mediareport at 5:57 PM on October 6, 2006

fuckity fuck, fuck fuck

Dad, you're drunk--go home.
posted by y2karl at 6:37 PM on October 6, 2006

You realize, of course that THE ALAMO is fake, a recreation, right?
posted by R. Mutt at 8:09 PM on October 6, 2006

I don't think that Texans are a bunch of bible thumping idiots, and actually a lot of people assume that about Iowa. But I've spent a lot of time growing up in both states and the difference in simple decency, of people and especially the relationship between people and government is simply enormous.

The educational system in Texas is abhorrent, and the educational system in Iowa is fantastic.

In Texas the government is about as Authoritarian as it gets, especially towards minors. It treats its poor terribly and executes tons of people.

Maybe it's just perspective, but I've always assumed that the rest of the U.S. was more like Iowa then it is like Texas. But the simple fact is that Texas is just a bad place compared to my experience with Iowa and my understanding of the rest of the United States.

No one would be complaining if someone said something like "oh, Canada is better then Taiwan" or something, but if it's intrastate it's somehow bad? Ridiculous.
posted by delmoi at 8:21 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

You realize, of course that THE ALAMO is fake, a recreation, right?

"Hey, kid. What's your name?"
"I ... can't remember."
"Where ya from?"
"I can't remember."
"Can't ya remember anything?"
"I remember ... the Alamo."
posted by loquacious at 8:43 PM on October 6, 2006

delmoi writes "No one would be complaining if someone said something like 'oh, Canada is better then Taiwan' or something"

I dunno. If there was a thread about Taiwan, and a bunch of Canadians were all saying "Well, what the fuck do you expect, it's Taiwan, the place is a fetid shithole", I think there would be complaints.
posted by Bugbread at 8:53 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

MadamM pretty much nailed it, starting with "You know how...
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 9:25 PM on October 6, 2006

Hey, that's my comment!!!

*Waves*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:14 PM on October 6, 2006

OMFG RED STATE HILBILLIES LOL
posted by jason's_planet at 10:32 PM on October 6, 2006

HAI GUYS AMI DOIN IT RITE?






posted by bob sarabia at 11:27 PM on October 6, 2006 [2 favorites]

As a native Texan, I can't possibly follow the "warming my feets" bird, yet here I am. Following it up. Following the shit out of it. yep.

I got nothing.
posted by jefbla at 12:25 AM on October 7, 2006

You realize, of course that THE ALAMO is fake, a recreation, right?

What the hell are you talking about?
posted by grouse at 5:55 AM on October 7, 2006

You realize, of course that THE ALAMO is fake, a recreation, right?



"well, i went to the little big horn, and all i got was this lousy arrow shirt"
posted by pyramid termite at 6:28 AM on October 7, 2006

How many years total did I live in Texas (all as an adult, btw)? 12? I can't mount a defense of the state as a whole. As a whole, it's a shithole. But Austin is a great place to live. And I met and know a lot of individual people who are from and live in Texas who are as cool and enlightened as anyone I've met from anywhere else. Where the South-bashing and Texas-bashing and, hell, US-bashing gets in trouble is that's it's very inconsiderate of those people who live in those places who don't deserve to be bashed in the least. It just isn't fair to say something to them like "move somewhere better" because a) it's their home and almost all people form irrational attachments to their homes, and b) the particulars of their lives where they live may in fact be pretty darn great (such as living in Austin and being friends with cool people and living somewhere where there's lots of cool things to do). Furthermore, you're kidding yourself if you think that the people who live in these places, the enlightened ones anyway, are oblivious to the things which are wrong. Most of we Americans here on MeFi are well aware of what's wrong with the US and the same is true of Southerners and Texans. So go ahead and bash these places if you think they deserve it (I've always bashed Texas quite a bit, but it comes naturally to me being a native of a neighboring state), but try to soften the blow with some respect for the dissidents who live in these places.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:42 AM on October 7, 2006

oh, for pete's sake, eb ...

look, it's simple ... if you're going to live in a shithole, get a sense of humor about it and don't be so damned sensitive when people put it down or poke fun at it

(said as someone who actually spent 40 years in a place that regionals consider a shithole, for good reason)

by the way, i suppose that all the bragging that texans do about their state has something to do with all the put downs

it could be worse ... you could be from north dakota and never hear a word about your state at all ...
posted by pyramid termite at 6:55 AM on October 7, 2006

Most of we Americans here on MeFi are well aware of what's wrong with the US and the same is true of Southerners and Texans.

And yet most of youse Americans seem to do so very, very little about those things that are wrong with the US and the South and Texas.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:11 AM on October 7, 2006

pyramid termite : "i suppose that all the bragging that texans do about their state has something to do with all the put downs "

I seriously doubt that. Texas bragging has been around since way the hell back, before the internet and the ability to easily hear what people from other regions think about your neck of the woods. Before the internet, the main ways to find out what people from other areas thought was TV, newspapers, magazines, and radio, and there weren't so many put downs in those. So while people in other states probably were making fun of us like they got paid to do it, very few Texans would have known, yet we bragged anyway.
posted by Bugbread at 8:12 AM on October 7, 2006

five fresh fish : "And yet most of youse Americans seem to do so very, very little about those things that are wrong with the US and the South and Texas."

Yeah. Youse Americans, go down to Houston and make it less goddamn humid!! And take care of those ants, too!
posted by Bugbread at 8:18 AM on October 7, 2006

It's actually rather nice out right now. Not humid at all.
posted by Cyrano at 8:51 AM on October 7, 2006

For a lotta non-yanks, America is the Texas of the world.

Just sayin'.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:34 AM on October 7, 2006

And yet most of youse Americans seem to do so very, very little about those things that are wrong with the US and the South and Texas.

at least my house doesn't melt every summer
posted by pyramid termite at 9:48 AM on October 7, 2006

Yeah, Texas bragging hasn't historically had the built-in put-down resentment you find in Southern attitudes elsewhere. The closest analogue in the US is NYC center-of-the-worldness, really. Like, take that New Yorker cover with the New York neighborhoods covering 80% of the map, and make it about Texas instead, and it'll fit the state exactly.
posted by furiousthought at 9:59 AM on October 7, 2006

Saul Steinberg's " "View of the World from 9th Avenue."


posted by ericb at 12:21 PM on October 7, 2006

I'd like to apologize to all my American friends for fff's tedious anti-Americanism and to plead that not all British Columbians are so ignorant.
posted by timeistight at 2:08 PM on October 7, 2006

video!
posted by riotgrrl69 at 4:10 PM on October 7, 2006

It's OK, we 'mericans love fff (well I do).
posted by caddis at 6:03 PM on October 7, 2006

We like big butts and we can not lie.
posted by y2karl at 6:58 PM on October 7, 2006

posted by loquacious at 8:19 PM on October 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

And as to fff's comment...notice that I said "we Americans here on MeFi". I think that this group probably is doing things to improve the situation. And I think the groups in the South and Texas I'm asking for some sympathy toward are also probably doing thing to improve the attitudes and whatnot in those regions.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:21 PM on October 7, 2006

Having just sat through the Texas Governer's debate on CSPAN (the us gov't channel) , I have to say ... I misunderestimated how pathetic the situation is in Texas. I think Texas should be voted off the island.
posted by R. Mutt at 8:45 PM on October 7, 2006

Actually, yah, I suspect MeFi'ers are slightly more political than your average citizen.

What's truly tedious, timeistight, is the USA fucking-over every small-but-resource-rich nation in the world. For the past fifty years there has been nothing but a continuous series of US-backed coups, invasions, embargos, and war.

I grow tired of it.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:23 AM on October 8, 2006

You realize, of course that THE ALAMO is fake, a recreation, right?

What the hell are you talking about?

What he's referring to is the fact that much of the Alamo was destroyed during and after the battle, and a lot of the structure people see today is a reconstruction, some of which might not be original detail. You could call in "fake", in the sense that the bricks you touch weren't there during the slaughter, but the rebuilding was done based off the original whenever possible. Plus, ya know, it's on the original battle site.
posted by bob sarabia at 9:44 PM on October 8, 2006

Either that or he thinks the Alamo is an alien conspiracy.
posted by bob sarabia at 10:01 PM on October 8, 2006

What he's referring to is the fact that much of the Alamo was destroyed during and after the battle,

death rays will do that
posted by pyramid termite at 10:24 PM on October 8, 2006

You could call in "fake", in the sense that the bricks you touch weren't there during the slaughter, but the rebuilding was done based off the original whenever possible. Plus, ya know, it's on the original battle site.

Some of the bricks were there during the slaughter. I think being restored is different from being "fake."
posted by grouse at 1:52 AM on October 9, 2006