I don't buy it June 4, 2007 8:49 AM   Subscribe


He does have previous for immature hoaxery.
posted by liquidindian at 8:57 AM on June 4, 2007


I don't think it is, but if it were fake, who cares? It's not like he's attempting to portray his behavior as proper, or trying to weasel out of anything. If it bothers you, flag it and move on. IMO, if you want to spend your question on confirmation of your being a douche, that's your choice.
posted by mkultra at 8:58 AM on June 4, 2007


I don't actually think it's fake. Maybe he felt so greatly the need for expiation that he laid down for us all to walk on, or maybe he just wanted to get a rise out of us, but that doesn't mean the scenario is fake. His reaction to his former girlfriend's former obesity is fathomable, if distasteful.
posted by hermitosis at 9:02 AM on June 4, 2007


LOL FATTIES
posted by matteo at 9:03 AM on June 4, 2007


What if it is fake? You can't prove it, and it shouldn't be closed based on your hunch. So just flag it and let it go.
posted by amro at 9:07 AM on June 4, 2007


Yes, it must be fake. Humans aren't known for being shallow or stupid.
posted by ninjew at 9:08 AM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Hey, AskMe —

I know I'm wrong and shallow, but exactly how wrong and shallow am I?
posted by carsonb at 9:11 AM on June 4, 2007 [3 favorites]


I don't have any interest in the "is this fake or not" debate that will be ensuing, but I wanted to comment on another aspect of the question and answers that I found troubling:

Ever-so-often someone asks a question on askmefi that contains within it some (possibly) objectionable premises or prior actions, and a bunch of people chime in with completely unhelpful answers that basically translate to saying that the person is shitty and they should get whatever shit they deserve.

Now maybe, barely, that could be helpful if you're coming from the angle that the person is really messed up and only by having a truly shitty awful experience will they realize how bad they are and begin to see the light about fixing themselves or their life, but often it just seems like people venting their anger or frustration over poster's decisions.

Example: "If you're not kidding, I'll echo what purplegenie said: It's good you broke up. She deserves better."

As you can see in the thread, there are a lot of genuinely helpful answers that ask the poster to examine why his actions may have been wrong and what he can learn from this experience, demonstrating that there are helpful ways to answer this question while still condemning his behavior.

P.S. Sorry for the subject change, I just didn't think the post deserved two separate meta's, but admins, please delete this if it is too distracting from the original question.

P.S.2. For the record, I have also been on the receiving end of these types of comments, where people responded to my request for advice in dealing with a problem by telling me I had done something shitty and deserved it. It was an anonymous question, so it won't show up in my history, and that prevented me from responding in this way at the time.

I think if someone's desire is to condemn a questioner's actions or criticize them personally without trying to be helpful, they should take it to Meta in the future, and those comments should be deleted.
posted by andoatnp at 9:14 AM on June 4, 2007


1. The license story is really suspicious. Most people would get a new license, though it's possible that she doesn't care to or they live in a state that doesn't allow it.

2. When people lose that much weight, it is immediately obvious when you see them naked. As in, there's big, loose folds of skin, or there's scars from the removal of the skin (example). Unless he's blind, there is absolutely no way he would not have noticed.

As to why I care: there's enough users on this site that if even a tenth of them decide that it's OK to just post made-up questions, AskMe will quickly become much less useful.
posted by myeviltwin at 9:14 AM on June 4, 2007


Does this mean that there's going to be one of MeTa's legendary flame-outs? I've only read about such things, and never seen on in real life. Just curious...
posted by ob at 9:20 AM on June 4, 2007


Is it wrong to want to declaw my ex-fat ex-girlfriend while driving my SUV over a pile of bicycles and bicyclists?

P.S. Pancakes! Sometimes I like to sit in my laundry basket and tickle my ears. Sometimes not.
posted by loquacious at 9:22 AM on June 4, 2007 [4 favorites]


FWIW after re-reading this question sounds like a bunch of frat-boys got together to think if a 'gross scenario' to post as a question. It really does sound fake.
posted by ob at 9:23 AM on June 4, 2007


only if she's been circumcised.
posted by ninjew at 9:24 AM on June 4, 2007


if metafilter will believe a guy claiming to impregnate his blind girlfriend's sister, then i'm sure it'll believe this one.

if it's a troll or not, we won't know unless someone spills the beans (which is how the blind gf question was outed). just enjoy it and bask in whatever perceived moral superiority that suits your needs.
posted by Stynxno at 9:26 AM on June 4, 2007


Yes, it must be fake. Humans aren't known for being shallow or stupid.

no, humans aren't known for ignoring the massive stretch marks and yards of loose skin that must be the medical consequence of losing 200 pounds.

it's quite clearly a fake, and a pretty dumb one at that. I still think the "my girlfriend wants me to shit on her" post was much better. I've missed the blind pregnant girl post, but that sounds pretty good too.
posted by matteo at 9:31 AM on June 4, 2007


BEFORE ARRIVING AT YALE I LET SISTER GOMEZ GNAW MY CARBUNCKLE AT THE CHURCH BAKE-OFF.
posted by quonsar at 9:31 AM on June 4, 2007 [2 favorites]


I missed both of those posts and consequently feel like a failure.
posted by ob at 9:33 AM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


It might be fake, but it might just be what it is. People can be legitimately neurotic, unobservant, etc. Without proof, we're going to be inclined to (a) treat it at face value and (b) delete jokes and other off-limits stuff. A comment saying nothing other than 'this has to be fake' doesn't really belong in the askme thread—this is the right place to bring it. As much as getting gamed sucks, encouraging a culture of aggressive second-guessing and witch-hunting on AskMe sucks more.

It's a hard kind of question to judge, because people asking whether they're in the wrong (or even asking to be told that they're not in the wrong) are going to be a self-selecting group: people who think they might have done something wrong, and don't know what to make of their situation. Novelty tends to be a feature, it seems to me.

With these questions, the kind of things that andoatnp mentions are a real challenge: if it's a value-judgement test, then in a sense "you were wrong and awful" is a useful answer; on the other hand, it's really easy to go overboard with that and get nasty. It'd be nice if folks could rein in their indignation some when answering this sort of question.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:38 AM on June 4, 2007


Yes, obvious fake and chatfilter anyway. Flagged.
posted by Manjusri at 9:41 AM on June 4, 2007


But he said, how bad is it? So bad that she is lucky you dumped her is an accurate answer, no?

(Also, totally fake. She would have crazy loose skin.)
posted by dame at 9:42 AM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


It's a thin line between love and hate.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:44 AM on June 4, 2007


He wanted to know if he was being a jerk-ass, and people told him that he was. How is this a bad thing?
posted by chunking express at 10:15 AM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


jerk-ass?
posted by Baby_Balrog at 10:18 AM on June 4, 2007


I flagged it myself and kept on flagging it until something weird happened.
posted by yerfatma at 10:21 AM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Is there anything to be resolved in this question, or am I just missing it? It should be deleted as a waste of time. We have kittens to name, dammit.
posted by Eideteker at 10:21 AM on June 4, 2007 [2 favorites]


No wait, that should be flogged.
posted by yerfatma at 10:21 AM on June 4, 2007


All of my kittens are already named Damnit.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:32 AM on June 4, 2007


I didn't see the post in question, but on principle I say we kill him and eat him.

EAT HIM! I want the leg!! Dibs on the leg!!!!1!!!
posted by Meatbomb at 10:35 AM on June 4, 2007


The answer to the question as posed is "Exactly 16,796 Standardized Ethical Badness Units," but the derivation is really to lengthy to post.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:52 AM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


This might be fake, but I don't know about the loose skin aspect. My father and I both lost significant amounts of weight and neither of us had loose skin or stretch marks (in fact, our stretch marks disappeared!). I have to disagree that there'd be loose skin and it'd be noticable.
posted by MeetMegan at 11:02 AM on June 4, 2007


Maybe it's viral marketing for Shallow Hall: The Vengeance.
posted by craniac at 11:04 AM on June 4, 2007


What the fuck? It's pointless chatfilter anyway. What's the problem to be solved? The guy just wants our commentary on his shallowness? Seriously, this shouldn't be on AskMe, fake or not.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:15 AM on June 4, 2007


About the loose skin thing: many people who lose this much weight have surgery for the loose skin. Of course there would be a scar, but we do not know much about this relationship. I suppose they were only together for a short while, maybe she was a bit shy and good about covering that up. I agree it is more likely the story was made up, but you never know.
posted by davar at 11:15 AM on June 4, 2007


I don't know if it's fake, but how is it NOT chatfilter?

How shallow am I? Really? Can I also post a question asking if this dress makes me look fat? Or one asking if everyone else was really pumped about last night's yankee game?
posted by shmegegge at 11:24 AM on June 4, 2007


Can I also post a question asking if this dress makes me look fat?

No, fat makes you look fat.

Or one asking if everyone else was really pumped about last night's yankee game?

Only Communists and Fascists are pumped about Yankee games. Real Americans get pumped about Mets games.

As for the question...geez, I used to think I was a shallow male pig. Compared to this guy I feel like a New Age Male.

*ties hair into ponytail, meditates*
posted by jonmc at 11:29 AM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Can I also post a question asking if this dress makes me look fat?

It does, actually. Perhaps you shouldn't have made it from yards of excised post-weight-loss skin.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:29 AM on June 4, 2007 [2 favorites]


I was more interested in the thread for all the people saying stuff like "they live in a state that doesn't allow it" about getting a new driver's license. It's impossible that there's a state that won't replace a lost or damaged license.

Would that maybe require someone to deliberately feed their license to the garbage disposal? Sure, but it's still doable.
posted by phearlez at 11:41 AM on June 4, 2007


You're killing me, IRFH!
posted by adamrice at 11:43 AM on June 4, 2007


Yah, chatfilter.
How is "am I a terrible person?" a problem to be solved?
How is it not a chatty open-ended question?
posted by Methylviolet at 11:57 AM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


phearlez, I think they were saying you can't get a new photo.

And MeetMegan, what is significant? I mean, I have weighed various points on a forty-pound range, and there is no loose skin, but 40 pounds is not 200!
posted by dame at 12:01 PM on June 4, 2007


I lost 90 lbs and my father lost 180.
posted by MeetMegan at 12:11 PM on June 4, 2007


It has a lot to do with the speed at which you lose your weight, and whether or not you exercise, and being blessed with good resilient skin. I lost my weight very slowly and worked out constantly.
posted by MeetMegan at 12:12 PM on June 4, 2007


Huh. Well, I learned something today.
posted by dame at 12:30 PM on June 4, 2007


The license story is really suspicious. Most people would get a new license, though it's possible that she doesn't care to or they live in a state that doesn't allow it.

You've already provided two reasons why your initial assertion is wrong. Also, you realize that you're suggesting that most people would brave the lines and the "customer service" at the DMV unnecessarily? I don't agree.
posted by onlyconnect at 12:30 PM on June 4, 2007


There's been a lot of this in the last few days. "Am I a bad person for wanting to buy consumer goods?" "Am I a bad person for not stopping when I saw an accident?" etc. IMO chatfilter. Maybe if these were "Here's my current situation, what should I do now?", but "I did this, how bad should I feel?" is on the lame side.
posted by LobsterMitten at 12:40 PM on June 4, 2007


Also, license photos are stored digitally in some states. A replacement for a 'lost' license would have the same photo on it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:41 PM on June 4, 2007


It's less chatfilter and more validationfilter, which I approve of even less.
posted by 0xFCAF at 12:57 PM on June 4, 2007


Can I also post a question asking if this dress makes me look fat?

No, dear, I think you look gorgeous!

Oh, sorry. Habit.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 1:09 PM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Also, you realize that you're suggesting that most people would brave the lines and the "customer service" at the DMV unnecessarily?

I think that if their license photo showed them at 200 pounds more than their current weight, they absolutely would. You seem to have a different opinion, which is fine, but which doesn't change the fact that this question sucks a donkey's balls on multiple levels.
posted by myeviltwin at 1:19 PM on June 4, 2007


Not attacking the "asker" here, but I wonder if it were actually dkleinst or his son who posted that.
posted by frecklefaerie at 1:35 PM on June 4, 2007


"this question sucks a donkey's balls on multiple levels."

That has got to be uncomfortable for the donkey.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:02 PM on June 4, 2007


or not, depending on the inclination of the donkey.
posted by jonmc at 2:09 PM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Eideteker: the kitten naming thread is over here.
posted by deborah at 2:13 PM on June 4, 2007


Whoo-hoo! Kitten maiming!
posted by Eideteker at 2:31 PM on June 4, 2007


If I lost 200 lbs I would keep that driver's license photo for as long as humanely possible!! Every time I'd go to the bar, get pulled over, made a large credit card purchase, and the requester questions my picture, I would look at him with a huge shit-eating grin. I'd be so damn proud of myself that I'd probably blow that photo up and frame it. Because not only does everybody LOATHE their driver's license picture, but it'd be such a testament to who I am and who I'd become. It's certifiable proof of my hard work. And it's my identity. No way in hell I'd forget it.

I personally LOVED that whole thread, fake or not. It was entertaining, valid (even if untrue), and reminded me of decisions I'd made in my life that resembled that shallow thinking (fortunately not of that scale). It was relatable from all sides of the equation. Who hasn't made shallow decisions? Who hasn't been cast away by some unfair bias of another? Who hasn't been in a situation in their life where they deserved better?

Signed,
—picture of unamed cat with "I love this thread" caption.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:41 PM on June 4, 2007


Allz I know is... whenever I say "This is so stupid/shallow/dumb/pathetic/evil/idiotic that it HAS to be fake"... I realize that's just wishful thinking. People really are that stupid/shallow/dumb/pathetic/evil/idiotic.
posted by The Deej at 3:24 PM on June 4, 2007


How shallow do you really have to be to get a new license just because you don't like the photo any more? It's not like suddenly once you've lost a lot of weight you have revised history such that the old you never existed. Or put differently, when you have the license photo taken, you weren't so ashamed of how you looked that you were humiliated to have a tiny postage stamp sized photo on a card that is mostly never seen by anyone.

What I'm trying to say is the expectation that of course any reasonable person would get a new drivers license after losing 200 pounds comes off as one of the more shallow things I've read in a while.
posted by Rhomboid at 3:28 PM on June 4, 2007


Or put differently, when you have the license photo taken, you weren't so ashamed of how you looked that you were humiliated to have a tiny postage stamp sized photo on a card that is mostly never seen by anyone.

Well, if you exclude my Internet presence (which most people don't have), then I'd say that people see my DL photo more often than any other photo of me.

What I'm trying to say is the expectation that of course any reasonable person would get a new drivers license after losing 200 pounds comes off as one of the more shallow things I've read in a while.

Which is just egregiously judgmental. Some people are egregiously judgmental about people who think that having a much less unflattering driver's license photo is sensible. Other people are egregiously judgmental about people who weigh 300 pounds. Funny how that works.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:51 PM on June 4, 2007


What I'm trying to say is the expectation that of course any reasonable person would get a new drivers license after losing 200 pounds comes off as one of the more shallow things I've read in a while.

It comes as a direct consequence of once having had a license picture that looked noticeably different from my current appearance, and CONSTANTLY getting comments about it. It was seriously annoying, and had I not lived across the country from the issuing state, I would have gotten a new one.
posted by myeviltwin at 3:53 PM on June 4, 2007


“Can I also post a question asking if this dress makes me look fat?”
Of course you can, but I think it was actually all those doughnuts, not the dress.
posted by dg at 4:06 PM on June 4, 2007


I got enough shit when I shaved my beard that I thought about getting a new license (seriously, they thought I was a younger brother or something and wouldn't let me into some bars or and wouldn't let me buy booze). But then I just regrew the beard, and it was awesome again.
posted by klangklangston at 4:10 PM on June 4, 2007


Well okay, I agree that having a photo that looks very different to your current appearance could be a hassle in terms of LEOs and the like. I hadn't thought of that. I was only referring to the notion that feeling like you look bad in a DL photo is humiliating enough to warrant getting a new one. First, just about everybody has had a bad DL photo, so it's not like we expect these to be like Glamour Shots. It's kind of expected that you look like warmed-over hell. And second, that cashier in the checkout line is most certainly not judging you, in fact I would be surprised if most of them even glance at the photo for more than a half second, if even at all. The only field they care about is birthdate. To me it's vanity at its worst to fret over such a utilitarian thing as a very small and very low fiedelity image of yourself as a drivers license. And that is being judgmental by definition of the word: involving the use or exercise of judgment. There is no way to express an opinion in this matter without exercising judgement.
posted by Rhomboid at 4:20 PM on June 4, 2007


And that is being judgmental by definition of the word: involving the use or exercise of judgment. There is no way to express an opinion in this matter without exercising judgement.

Do you really think that I was criticizing you for using your judgment? Or is it remotely possible that you understood what I meant, which was this usage:

Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones

...of the term? You know, like how I'm being judgmental about you now?

I hate disingenuous crap like this. If you prefer, though, I'll amend my criticism to "you're being excessively, negatively critical in a harsh, personal manner".

Someone who weighed 300 or more pounds would very likely have felt very bad about themselves because of it. Having lost that weight and feeling better about themselves, it's perfectly normal that such a person might not want to be reminded of those bad feelings every time they pull out their driver's license. And that's just one reason why a normal person might be understandably uncomfortable about a driver's license photo that showed them as morbidly obese.

What's particularly annoying is that your negative judgment wasn't actually of the person who would want to change their license, it was that someone defending someone doing so was, in your words, one of the most shallow things you've read in a while. That's taking being excessively, negatively critical in a harsh, personal manner to an extreme.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:22 PM on June 4, 2007


What I like to do is, whenever it gets on time to renew my license, I grow a goatee and moustache and try to shave my eyebrows into being pointy. you know, this kind of thing.

then when I go out, having shaved it all back off and having let my eyebrows grow naturally, when I go to bars and they see the id I say "Oh. That's my evil twin. I couldn't make it to the DMV that day, so he went for me."
posted by shmegegge at 5:57 PM on June 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Dear Ask Metafilter,

I lost 120 pounds in the form of my ex-wife. How do I dispose of the body during a toddler attack?

yours,
item
posted by item at 6:21 PM on June 4, 2007


My sides hurt, and not because of all that cheesecake either.

I wish we could sidebar this thread. Komedy gelt!
posted by rob511 at 6:49 PM on June 4, 2007


humans aren't known for ignoring the massive stretch marks and yards of loose skin that must be the medical consequence of losing 200 pounds.

Well, why assume that she dropped from 280 to 80?

It might have been 500 to 300. Think about that.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:21 PM on June 4, 2007


I really wasn't trying to be disingenuous, I was trying to say that there's no realistic way to express the thought "In my opinion people that <x> come across as <y>" without also judging that person, implicitly or expicitly. I don't think there's anything wrong with that word, judgemental, and I don't feel it's overly judgemental to say that getting a new license because you've lost weight and are ashamed of your old appearance is shallow. If you want to do it because your face looks different enough that someone can no longer easily tell it's you, or if you do it as a triumphant/symbolic move, then it's a somewhat different situation. It's the change for the sake of being so uncomfortable with your old self that you can't even stand it in a small, insignificant, lo-fidelity form that I find shallow.
posted by Rhomboid at 11:16 PM on June 4, 2007


And yes, the phrase "the most shallow thing I've read in a while" was a very hasty and poor choice of words to describe what I was trying to say, and for that I apologise.
posted by Rhomboid at 11:20 PM on June 4, 2007


"Well, why assume that she dropped from 280 to 80?"

You usually get to that kind of fat camp in a boxcar.
posted by klangklangston at 7:55 AM on June 5, 2007 [2 favorites]


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