Not another asshat call-out June 14, 2007 8:41 AM   Subscribe

My comment on This thread was deleted, not because of snarkiness or asshattery, but because I doubted the scenario was real. I sincerely complimented the quality of the writing in the post, but simply pointed out (based on my own professional experience as a writer) that it sounded too much like an idyllic encounter written to engage the reader for me to be able to accept it as an actual dilemma. Jessamyn suggested that kind of comment belonged in email or the grey--since the poster is anonymous, here it is.
posted by misha to Etiquette/Policy at 8:41 AM (37 comments total)

That was in the one night stand thread, yes? I seem to recall seeing your comment and flagging it. Jessamyn was right. So, what would you like us to do about it?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:49 AM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


Dear Penthouse Letters,. I never thought it could happen to me...
posted by Dave Faris at 8:53 AM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


How many times does it need to be said? If you aren't answering the question, then move on to another thread and do not comment.
posted by chiababe at 8:54 AM on June 14, 2007


So, basically you think that the write-up is fake. If the poster is anonymous, they're not going to address your concerns here, either.

FWIW, I found that question weirdly unreal as well. I skipped it. Unless you think someone is being scammed in some way, it's sort of not worth bothering about anon relationship askmes. Clearly the people who answered the question feel it's legit.
posted by oneirodynia at 8:56 AM on June 14, 2007


Not worth bothering to complain or question, I meant to say.
posted by oneirodynia at 8:57 AM on June 14, 2007


Could you please clarify whether you're complaining about the rightful deletion of your comment (which I saw, and flagged) or speculating that the linked post was a fake? If this MeTa is addressing the latter option...

I know it's fun to debunk on MetaFilter. We have a long and storied history of calling bullshit. But before that sort of thing starts there's usually some proof or reasoning given. You know, something more than a feeling to go on. A post smells fishy you say? Ok, well do a little snooping around and see if you find an ocean nearby. If you do, bring it to MeTa. Otherwise, keep your speculation in your brain.
posted by carsonb at 8:59 AM on June 14, 2007


You mean people really read those nine-paragraph anonymous relationship-filter posts?
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:05 AM on June 14, 2007 [2 favorites]


90% of all annon ask.me relationship questions are fake.






85% of all stynxnos make shit up on the fly
posted by Stynxno at 9:11 AM on June 14, 2007


To answer PinkSuperHero, I guess I just don't get why my remark was flagged and removed. I think I'm missing something in the etiquette here, hence this post.
posted by misha at 9:13 AM on June 14, 2007


Your remark was flagged and removed because it did not answer the question.
posted by carsonb at 9:16 AM on June 14, 2007


You mean people really read those nine-paragraph anonymous relationship-filter posts?

When they are about one night stands? Ya sure you betcha!
posted by yeti at 9:16 AM on June 14, 2007


There's a note under the comment box in AskMetafilter:

note: Ask MetaFilter is as useful as you make it. Please limit comments to answers or help in finding an answer. Wisecracks don't help people find answers. Thanks.

Your comment was not an answer to the question.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:16 AM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


Underneath the comment box on every AskMe question is a note. Here's how it goes:
note: Ask MetaFilter is as useful as you make it. Please limit comments
to answers or help in finding an answer. Wisecracks don't help people
find answers. Thanks.
Wisecracks, or anything else like questioning the intentions of the Asker, calling bullshit, or whatever.
posted by carsonb at 9:18 AM on June 14, 2007


gah!
I previewed this time, of course.
posted by carsonb at 9:19 AM on June 14, 2007


OMG jinx you owe me a coke, carsonb!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:19 AM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


I hope that at some point we can have a "Does not attempt to answer question in any way" flag. I've been using "noise" for this.
posted by muddgirl at 9:21 AM on June 14, 2007 [7 favorites]


This needs to be in big bold all caps, not tiny type:
NOTE: ASK METAFILTER IS AS USEFUL AS YOU MAKE IT. PLEASE LIMIT COMMENTS TO ANSWERS OR HELP IN FINDING AN ANSWER. WISECRACKS DON'T HELP PEOPLE FIND ANSWERS. THANKS.
posted by caddis at 9:25 AM on June 14, 2007


I second that, muddgirl. Flagging as "good idea".
..shit. Flagging as noise.
posted by Plutor at 9:27 AM on June 14, 2007


misha, first off, points to you for asking so reasonably-- not everyone does. Avoiding deletion is a tricky business, but here are some general rules:

AskMe: make sure your responses directly answer the question at hand. No editorializing. No snarking.
MetaFilter: make sure your comments are civil and add to the discussion at hand. You can snark so long as your snark is on-topic.
MetaTalk: don't worry about it. It's very hard to get deleted in a MetaTalk thread. Snark away.
posted by idest at 9:28 AM on June 14, 2007


I think I'm missing something in the etiquette here

When you post a comment to Ask MetaFilter, it should be limited to giving an answer or at most asking for clarification so you can give an answer. It leads to an environment where problems get solved and members help each other out, and makes the site really useful and fun to read.

If we allowed everyone to questions the motives or the entire premise of questions, it'd lead to a completely different environment, one that isn't nearly as welcoming or helpful.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 9:28 AM on June 14, 2007


Drat. What good is preview if the time to load a comment takes so damned long? Sorry for the unnecessary repeats, folks.
posted by idest at 9:29 AM on June 14, 2007


I just don't get why my remark was flagged and removed.

Well AskMe questions aren't supposed to be "let's get to the bottom of this" fact finding missions, you're supposed to be giving people advice. Sometimes the questions come across as implausible. In non-anonymous questions, people will often say stuff like "let me get ths straight you got those three hot chicks from the bar to come home with you and now your walllet is missing? Am I understanding this correctly?"

In the case of an anonymous quesitons, speculation about the veracity of the question goes noplace. Anon question askers have to include as much information as they can and then hope that it's enough. However, we also don't really allow off-topic responses along the lines of "I don't even believe this is real" They don't answer the question, they fill the thread up with noise, there's no useful way for the anon poster to reply [sometimes they'll do it via an admin but usually they don't]. If you don't believe them, you do not need to answer your question. If you would like to discuss the fact that you think the question isn't real, that sort of discussion has to happen here in MetaTalk and you can even put a pointer in the thread, usually just a link to the MeTa thread.

Does that help?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:33 AM on June 14, 2007


Jessamyn suggested that kind of comment belonged in email or the grey--since the poster is anonymous, here it is.

...but the poster also included a throwaway email address for follow-up questions: askmefianony -at- gmail -dot- com -- why not use it?
posted by AwkwardPause at 9:45 AM on June 14, 2007


"noplace"?
posted by timeistight at 9:46 AM on June 14, 2007


Thanks, everyone. I wasn't being facetious. It was an honest question, and I have my answers.

I'll move along now.
posted by misha at 9:54 AM on June 14, 2007


Discoverer of the Noplace Transform - you convolve your function with the zero function and see where it goes.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:54 AM on June 14, 2007


Here's a good example of how to write a bullshit question and get away with it, and how to snark/not answer the question and get away with it. Everyone follows the rules and everyone's happy.
posted by sluglicker at 10:01 AM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm going to kill this puppy. Right now. It might be a kitten, though. You never know.
posted by OmieWise at 10:08 AM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


Welcome back, OmieWise.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:14 AM on June 14, 2007


Do it!

*throws 5 bucks at OmieWise*
posted by carsonb at 10:15 AM on June 14, 2007


That was a crappy question, not because I doubt the incident happened, but that I'm sure it did -- and it read like the person just wanted to tell everyone about it how it was so amazing and life-changing and OMG!!!

Of course at the end they tacked on the obligatory "concern" -- how should I discuss it with future relationships? Yeah, you're clearly losing sleep over that.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:17 AM on June 14, 2007 [7 favorites]


Thanks. Done.
posted by OmieWise at 10:41 AM on June 14, 2007


So which was it?
posted by killthepuppyorkittenFilter at 10:45 AM on June 14, 2007 [3 favorites]


I can't believe it took you 26 minutes. That's a really long time, even factoring in luxury minutes for disposal and handwashing.
posted by kosem at 10:54 AM on June 14, 2007


Well, it was in a box, and I couldn't see it, and it was all so indeterminate. I'd say it was either. Or neither.
posted by OmieWise at 10:55 AM on June 14, 2007


I'm going to close this, since the original poster got their question answered by everyone.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:59 AM on June 14, 2007


Wait - it was in a box? Ha Ha! I think you just killed Schrödinger's Braunschweiger sandwich!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:59 AM on June 14, 2007 [6 favorites]


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