Another open letter. July 4, 2008 7:03 AM   Subscribe

Another open letter.

I love you all.
posted by krautland to Etiquette/Policy at 7:03 AM (202 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

This will not end well.

hang on a second...
posted by twine42 at 7:06 AM on July 4, 2008


*hugz*
posted by The Straightener at 7:08 AM on July 4, 2008


I love you all as well, admittedly in a kind of sweaty and slightly malevolent way, but you gotta work with what you got, right?
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:11 AM on July 4, 2008


I'll love you always.
Which way would you like to try first?
posted by box at 7:13 AM on July 4, 2008


It's still awful early out in California, and it's a holiday besides. I don't think eyeballkid is going to make it in time before this gets closed up.
posted by yhbc at 7:15 AM on July 4, 2008


But will you respect us in the morning?
posted by netbros at 7:19 AM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


*hugz*
posted by bonobo at 7:19 AM on July 4, 2008


I love you all.

I hear that all the time.
posted by three blind mice at 7:20 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Everyone needs a slap in the face.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 7:21 AM on July 4, 2008


Everyone needs a slap in the face.

well, it is the fourth.
posted by krautland at 7:23 AM on July 4, 2008


I'm just a disillusioned and disaffected Gen-Xer. Everyone needs a shrug.
posted by optovox at 7:25 AM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


well, it is the fourth.

Exactly.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 7:25 AM on July 4, 2008


Remember kids, celebrate the greatest country in the world by blowing up a little piece of it.
posted by Science! at 7:28 AM on July 4, 2008


That's it, I'm OUT!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 7:29 AM on July 4, 2008


I love you all too!
posted by the dief at 7:34 AM on July 4, 2008


I love you all, but some of the things you say leave me disappointed, angry, and frustrated. The hugs help and it's good that we're talking about it. I'm feeling better now, aren't you?
posted by Daddy-O at 7:39 AM on July 4, 2008


Don't say that before you see what I did to your lawn.
posted by Shepherd at 7:40 AM on July 4, 2008


I touch my home key when I think of you or your hot sister.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:41 AM on July 4, 2008


*summons eyeballkid*
posted by grouse at 7:42 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I don't love you back.
posted by srboisvert at 7:47 AM on July 4, 2008


This thread smell like the inside of a Vicks-rubbed dust mask.
posted by The Straightener at 7:49 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


That other thread was kind of random. This one also, I suppose.
posted by chunking express at 7:53 AM on July 4, 2008


MetaFilter: I only love you as a friend.
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:55 AM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]



Remember kids, celebrate the greatest country in the world by blowing up a little piece of it.


I like to think of it as demonstrating our superior firepower.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:57 AM on July 4, 2008


I love you more, you cheeky little monkey.
posted by Jofus at 8:00 AM on July 4, 2008


I love you like a child loves their pet rabbit, not yet realizing it will some day die.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:02 AM on July 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


Who wouldn't love Time Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year?
posted by vagabond at 8:06 AM on July 4, 2008


But you never write. you never call.

also, I want my handcuffs back.
posted by jonmc at 8:08 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I need a bunny rabbit in overalls to explain it to me.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:10 AM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


This is a very positive step for you, Krautland. We may be on the verge of a breakthrough here.

Let it out.

We're here for you.
posted by chillmost at 8:11 AM on July 4, 2008


HATE!
posted by Stynxno at 8:15 AM on July 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


Oh please, oh please let this end in a flameout! <crosses fingers and toes />
posted by blue_beetle at 8:16 AM on July 4, 2008


Joy
posted by Jofus at 8:21 AM on July 4, 2008


Choy
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:27 AM on July 4, 2008


Get in line.
posted by dobbs at 8:38 AM on July 4, 2008


I can't stand most of you, barely tolerate many, and ♥ a handful.
posted by birdherder at 8:39 AM on July 4, 2008


I lust you all.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:41 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Thanks, dad.
posted by ludwig_van at 8:45 AM on July 4, 2008


Oh, go on and get out of here, you big lug....
posted by Deep Dish at 8:50 AM on July 4, 2008


does this fish make my pants look fat?
posted by quonsar at 8:53 AM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


goodnewsfortheinsane: "I love you like a child loves their pet rabbit, not yet realizing it will some day die."

Or that it is potentially delicious.
posted by Science! at 8:58 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:00 AM on July 4, 2008


So that more inside? Is that an invitation? Because I've got much more I could get inside, now you've made the commitment.

We could start with this cell phone, for example?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:01 AM on July 4, 2008


I love the whole world!
posted by tkolar at 9:05 AM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


You don't love me. You never even say I look nice. I'm just ugly and fat.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 9:07 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ya know,
Love is a happy time
All throughout the universe
It's when the male part of the species
Goes up to the female part of the species
And says, "Hey, you wanna go on a date?"
Then she would say, "Why, yes, I'd like to go on a date!"
If you're lucky
And then you go to a restaraunt
And she gets something called a salad
And then he gets a big piece of beef
That he eats
And that to me,
Ladies and gentlemen, is love.
Kind makes you cry, doesn't it?
posted by jbickers at 9:13 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I love you all, unconditionally.

Do I win?
posted by Meatbomb at 9:14 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


You people delight in misconstruing what I say. :(
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:15 AM on July 4, 2008


And if you %$#* my %@#$, I will love you even more.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:16 AM on July 4, 2008


I love you guys too.

But not today. You guys ruined my holiday. Try me again tomorrow.
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:21 AM on July 4, 2008


Stop it. I won't put up with it. You people have been doing it for months, and you need to stop.
posted by sunshinesky at 9:27 AM on July 4, 2008


Man, this open letter annoys me more than the the other one.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:30 AM on July 4, 2008


I love you all.

See, this is bullshit and I'm not buying it. Because whenever anybody actually shows positive emotions towards me, such as "love," I sever all ties with them as fast as I can. Since I'm not doing that, I'm going to have to say that your expressed feelings of goodwill are lacking sincerity.
posted by dogwalker at 9:31 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]




You know who else said they'd loved us all?
posted by dersins at 9:33 AM on July 4, 2008


the jefferson airplane
posted by pyramid termite at 9:34 AM on July 4, 2008


Happy 4th of July, everybody!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:34 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I know.
posted by Sparx at 9:38 AM on July 4, 2008


No I didn't.
posted by netbros at 9:40 AM on July 4, 2008


I love pie.
posted by zennie at 9:43 AM on July 4, 2008


Happy 4th of July, everybody!

oh, FUCK 4th of July. i'm sick of having 4th of July lorded over everything. blow 4th of July out your whiny little ass. more fucking people die in traffic accidents every week than on 4th of July. 4th of July changed everything all right, and it's way past time we changed it the fuck back.

oh, wait...
posted by quonsar at 9:45 AM on July 4, 2008 [4 favorites]


I am not in love with you all.... but I love most of you, some especially.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:46 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Look, MetaFilter, I like you. Like! I like you! There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, MetaFilter. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, MetaFilter. A rebel.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:47 AM on July 4, 2008 [4 favorites]


You can't love us all exactly the same amount; I'm your favourite, aren't I, mum?...err, krautland, I mean.
posted by Abiezer at 9:52 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh Metafilter, I love you. But we only 14 hours to save the earth.
posted by Jofus at 9:52 AM on July 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


I guess this is as good a place as any:

Happy Birthday, USA! You've been driving my crazy for over fifty years, but I can't help but love you, ya big lug.
posted by timeistight at 10:01 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I am not in love with you all

*sniff* and I bought you an egg cream and everything...
posted by jonmc at 10:03 AM on July 4, 2008


yes you did
posted by pyramid termite at 10:04 AM on July 4, 2008


I can stand nearly all of you!
posted by aubilenon at 10:05 AM on July 4, 2008


Well then, I've got all I need. So right back atcha.
*pins a flag on quonsars fish*
posted by carsonb at 10:07 AM on July 4, 2008


Science! said: "Remember kids, celebrate the greatest country in the world by blowing up a little piece of it."

Well Canada Day was actually Tuesday, but I suppose there's no reason you can't still do the fireworks today.
posted by loiseau at 10:11 AM on July 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


Well Canada Day was actually Tuesday, but I suppose there's no reason you can't still do the fireworks today.

what's the best way to tie pemmican to a rocket?
posted by pyramid termite at 10:15 AM on July 4, 2008


Happy 4th of July, Metafilter.
posted by onalark at 10:19 AM on July 4, 2008


500 favorites to whoever manages to flame out in this thread!
posted by Krrrlson at 10:23 AM on July 4, 2008


I don't really want an electronic relationship right now. :-/
posted by Nattie at 10:36 AM on July 4, 2008


Love you too - you gonna stop by later?
posted by readery at 10:36 AM on July 4, 2008


Sometimes I think we should break up, because I'm not sure I love you enough to stay during your cranky, abusive periods of behavior. But when things are good, they're so good! I feel like we really understand each other, and communicate so well and so openly. Going through the stretches when I don't understand what you're talking about, and you get so snarky and mean....well, that's hard.

I guess I still love you. Mostly.
posted by rtha at 10:45 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


At the risk of stating the obvious, this thread is much better than the other one.
posted by clockzero at 10:48 AM on July 4, 2008


Yay, it's time to grill various meats, drink Negro Modelo in the pool, and blast David Byrne's Miss America on loop for 10 hours. Happy 4th, Metafilter! I'll be your teenage fanclub, although at times it might seem awkward.
posted by painquale at 10:53 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Whuffles to everybody?
posted by konolia at 11:02 AM on July 4, 2008


I love the whole world!

Oh, that's what this shitty XKCD strip was riffing on. Thanks for clearing that up.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:04 AM on July 4, 2008


So, it's a long weekend. Let's just wait and see how you feel by Sunday night.
posted by Cranberry at 11:18 AM on July 4, 2008


Knee Play Five
posted by hortense at 11:20 AM on July 4, 2008


Yeah, um, love's a pretty strong word and I think we should probably just keep sleeping together and, like, see where that takes us, y'know.

Also, I wouldn't exactly call you my girlfriend yet.
posted by klangklangston at 11:20 AM on July 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


That's cool cause I'm a dude and I'm not exactly comfortable with you calling me that now.
posted by Science! at 11:23 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh, that's why you're so tight and won't keep the lights on!

wow that got weird
posted by klangklangston at 11:29 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


wow that got weird

Dad?
posted by loquacious at 11:32 AM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


Eh... I've spent the day so far drinking beer and watching FAIL videos on youtube. I can't be picky about much anymore.
posted by Science! at 11:33 AM on July 4, 2008


Dad?

You're not that tight.
posted by klangklangston at 11:36 AM on July 4, 2008


You guys're ok, I guess. Pass me some MDMA and ask me again.
posted by juv3nal at 11:37 AM on July 4, 2008




The old man never liked me.
He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.

posted by R. Mutt at 11:38 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sorry Metafilter, I don't think we should take this any farther. It'll kill the mystery. Also, I'm still not really over that last girl I dated, and I'm really busy with this internship and school and everything, and gas prices are just so high right now...
posted by Caduceus at 11:40 AM on July 4, 2008


Happy 4th of July, everybody!

What? We don't celebrate the Battle of the Boyne for another eight days yet.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:42 AM on July 4, 2008


Sure. You say you love us. But that's what you told BoingBoing too. And we aren't falling for it like they did. Mama didn't raise no fools.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:45 AM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Have there been enough hugs yet to cover everybody? Should we keep hugging?
posted by Arturus at 11:52 AM on July 4, 2008


Aww guys, this is so sweet.
I'm full of such a wonderful warm fuzzy feeling right now.
I guess the antibiotics aren't working.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 12:01 PM on July 4, 2008


No, but the gin is.
posted by klangklangston at 12:03 PM on July 4, 2008


♫♫ ♪♪ TUSK! ♫♫ ♪♪
posted by bonobo at 12:08 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh great... I go dancing with my girlfriend at the gay bar only to yet again wake up to a strange man telling me he loves me.
posted by Kattullus at 12:08 PM on July 4, 2008


No, but the gin is.

The tonic, on the other hand, is simply giving everybody gas.
posted by jonmc at 12:12 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I love you all.

You are all chocolate chip waffles, right? *rubs eyes*
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:13 PM on July 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


I hope your heads fall off.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 12:14 PM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


You are all chocolate chip waffles, right?

No. I am a deep-fried twinkie soaked in bourbon, but I asume you love me nonetheless if only for my good looks and charm.
posted by jonmc at 12:29 PM on July 4, 2008


Do you remember
When I told you I loved you?
I unpublished that
posted by optovox at 12:32 PM on July 4, 2008


*starts singing Toni Braxton*
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:40 PM on July 4, 2008


Q: What's unhealthy about fucking, music, and unemployment?

A: Love.
posted by Paid In Full at 12:42 PM on July 4, 2008


heh. How do you get a musician off your porch? You pay for your pizza.
posted by jonmc at 12:45 PM on July 4, 2008


I often find myself saying positive things just to protect myself - people don't seem to want to know the truth if it's negative. I would take from this thread that MeFites should try to be less mocking when there is a critical metatalk thread - the best response posts in such a thread are usually the ones that take the thread-starter's criticism seriously.
posted by By The Grace of God at 12:45 PM on July 4, 2008


An open letter: U

A closed letter: D

Now, what were you saying?
posted by wendell at 12:46 PM on July 4, 2008


jonmc: "No, but the gin is.

The tonic, on the other hand, is simply giving everybody gas.
"

Is tonic water notorious for giving people gas? Because all joking aside, that would explain some unexplained uncomfortableness I had last week.

Also, the joke is how do you get a liberal arts major off your porch?
posted by Science! at 12:49 PM on July 4, 2008


Is tonic water notorious for giving people gas?

anything fizzy is, sir. If you drank more, you'd know that.
posted by jonmc at 12:56 PM on July 4, 2008


tell him the people across the street are dying to buy an encyclopedia
posted by pyramid termite at 12:57 PM on July 4, 2008


And I lo...

l...

luuuuuuuuu...

lllllllllll.....

oh, crap, I can't say it.

Maybe if you turned around and I didn't have to say it too your face...

Yeah, that's better...

I love yo.........ur ass.

What?

Well, it's at least part of you! Can't you settle for that right now?
posted by wendell at 1:01 PM on July 4, 2008


Come on, jon, if "anything fizzy" gave people gas, do you think it'd still be 4.59.9 at the Shell station?
posted by wendell at 1:04 PM on July 4, 2008


jonmc: "Is tonic water notorious for giving people gas?

anything fizzy is, sir. If you drank more, you'd know that.
"

Normally the only fizzy thing I drink is beer, and I've trying (not really hard) to cut that back as I've found whiskey gets me there faster and angrier.
posted by Science! at 1:05 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Wendells Do It Synechdotally
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:05 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


xoxoxoxoxox
posted by fixedgear at 1:11 PM on July 4, 2008


Synechdotally?

Is that a word?

It's only 1:15PM here on the Left Coast. Exactly when did you start drinking today?
posted by wendell at 1:16 PM on July 4, 2008


I started around 10:30am, but only because it's paid holiday and the idea of getting paid to get loaded really appeals.
posted by jonmc at 1:18 PM on July 4, 2008


NOT YOU, JON. I'm asking cortex. Everybody knows YOUR drinking schedule, jon. It's in the MeFi Wiki.
posted by wendell at 1:20 PM on July 4, 2008


...right next to the Wendell's Top Twenty Favorite Junk Foods list.
posted by wendell at 1:21 PM on July 4, 2008


♫♫ ♪♪ "But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
We're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war.
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for,
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more." ♫♫ ♪♪

John Prine

But I &hearts you all anyway. Happy 4th!
posted by Lynsey at 1:25 PM on July 4, 2008 [3 favorites]



posted by Lynsey at 1:26 PM on July 4, 2008


You say dochally, I say dotally, let's call the whole thing off.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:39 PM on July 4, 2008


I thought for a second you were making a sniglet out of "synecdoche" and "anecdote" but the misplaced "h" threw me.
posted by wendell at 1:44 PM on July 4, 2008


End of derail #3
Back to derail #2:

The Fourth of July? You know, it's not really "Independence Day", just the anniversary of some battle they won over France. What? No, I'm not getting it mixed up with anything! EVERY country has a holiday for the anniversary of some battle they won over France. Well, except for France.
posted by wendell at 1:45 PM on July 4, 2008


Actually, France does. It's called "Ennui Day".
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:53 PM on July 4, 2008


Ennui did what?
posted by wendell at 1:54 PM on July 4, 2008


And I mean that totally synechdotally.
posted by wendell at 1:54 PM on July 4, 2008


"Ennui Will Never Walk Alone". It's a Franco-Anglo soccer thing, I guess.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:55 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


CHICO: All right. Why a duck? Why a--why a duck? Why-a-no-chicken?
posted by bonobo at 1:57 PM on July 4, 2008


wendell: "End of derail #3
Back to derail #2:

The Fourth of July? You know, it's not really "Independence Day", just the anniversary of some battle they won over France. What? No, I'm not getting it mixed up with anything! EVERY country has a holiday for the anniversary of some battle they won over France. Well, except for France.
"

France vs. France

If you count the region of origin for the two families.
posted by Science! at 2:04 PM on July 4, 2008


Bum de adda.
posted by Popular Ethics at 2:13 PM on July 4, 2008


Storming of the Bastille, too—no?
posted by bonobo at 2:15 PM on July 4, 2008


YES in 10 days.
posted by Science! at 2:18 PM on July 4, 2008


To honor the 4th of July, I made this strawberry-rhubarb crisp, and, man, it is good! I've never worked with rhubarb before. It's so tasty!

...I just wanted to brag a little. Okay?
posted by Ms. Saint at 2:20 PM on July 4, 2008


In amongst all the points that cortex has won this week, who'da thunk he'd win any for knowing terrace songs?
posted by Jofus at 3:13 PM on July 4, 2008


Ennui is the only video game I play.
posted by stubby phillips at 3:19 PM on July 4, 2008


strange game. the only way to win is not to care.
posted by jonmc at 3:24 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


The business aspects of the Fourth of July is not perfect as it stands. See what it costs us every year with loss of life, the crippling of thousands with its fireworks, and the burning down of property. It is not only sacred to patriotism and universal freedom, but to the surgeon, the undertaker, the insurance offices - and they are working it for all it is worth.

- Mark Twain, speech, July 4, 1899, "The Day We Celebrate"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:29 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's cold this morning - Megan fly's home in a couple of hours and I need to clean the sheets after sleeping with packet of pretzels.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 3:44 PM on July 4, 2008


Ah fuck sorry - with all the emotional out pouring I mistook this thread for my twitter timeline.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 3:46 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


What is love?
posted by homunculus at 4:18 PM on July 4, 2008


So this drummer is tired of all of his musician friends teasing him about how he can't play a "real instrument." So he goes to the music store, determined to pick up a new skill.

"Hmm," he says, looking at the selection, "Let me take that red trumpet and the white accordion."

"Well," says the man behind the counter, "I'll sell you the fire extinguisher, but the radiator has to stay."
posted by jbickers at 4:19 PM on July 4, 2008 [5 favorites]


HOMUNCULUS FAIL
"We're sorry, this video is no longer available."

But it's still SOMEWHERE on YouTube. Still, when I hear "What Is Love?" THIS is the earworm that attacks me. Does that mean I'm semi-old?
posted by wendell at 4:52 PM on July 4, 2008


I love most of you! Yay!
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 5:03 PM on July 4, 2008


You cant talk! Get back in the incinerator.
posted by Science! at 5:14 PM on July 4, 2008


It's nothing that a little hydrocortisone cream won't clear up in a few days.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:26 PM on July 4, 2008


What is love?

Love is...
posted by languagehat at 5:36 PM on July 4, 2008


I love everybody.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 5:37 PM on July 4, 2008


Synecdochically, surely.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:05 PM on July 4, 2008


Aaaw, damn. I had an Agent Howie prequel story all written up after yesterdays 'Open Letter' thread but the thread was closed 20 minutes before I could finish it. So I junked the story because I figured I'd never get another chance to post it. And then this sequel thread comes along. Too bad.
posted by Effigy2000 at 6:49 PM on July 4, 2008


Y'all are alright.
posted by brundlefly at 6:49 PM on July 4, 2008


You guys got the days mixed up. This is Independence Day, not Valentine's Day. DUH.

I only love people when they give me chocolate hearts. Also duh.
posted by brina at 7:00 PM on July 4, 2008


Happy July 4, my love.
No one will read down this far, but I want you so much I may explode.

b
posted by Dizzy at 7:13 PM on July 4, 2008


*puts on helmet*
posted by jonmc at 7:24 PM on July 4, 2008


Oval Yule Oil
posted by mattoxic at 7:27 PM on July 4, 2008


Don't worry: that's just a roll of Certs in my pocket. Fresh breath is a priority in my life.
posted by steef at 7:31 PM on July 4, 2008


Synecdochically

This is correct, but good god. Don't paint yourself into the adverbial corner with a word like synecdoche; do whatever you have to do so you don't have to say something so barbaric.

Synecdochically? I want to punch myself in the face just for trying to pronounce it.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 8:18 PM on July 4, 2008


I don't approve of the sentiment expressed by the author of this post.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:25 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


doublechocolattemocha
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:31 PM on July 4, 2008


Oh my sweet lord I've had so many goddam fuckin hotdogs and cold beers. Won't one of you foreign dongs who always wants to call us "USians" please start something with me while I can still work this lever-action rifle?

All of the above is true except I think you foreign dongs are swell and all my guns are locked in a safe 100 miles away as usual and I just rocked a Cherry Garcia cone from the 7-11. Thanks Metafilter, another perfect year in America.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:37 PM on July 4, 2008 [4 favorites]


LJBF
posted by Crabby Appleton at 8:44 PM on July 4, 2008


On the other hand, I actually have drank many cold beers tonight, not to mention that I did eat three fuckin hotdogs (they were excellent), and unlike eyeballkid (who is getting awfully soft in his old age) I HATE ALL OF YOU.
posted by yhbc at 8:50 PM on July 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm celebrating the 4th by watching Hollywood movies released this weekend on Chinese pirate-cam sites. USA! China! Ah, it's all the same thing nowadays anyways.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:10 PM on July 4, 2008


A love letter by krautland . . . krautland . . . Germany . . .

There's a Hitler (Eva Braun?) joke in there somewhere, but I'm too tired to find it.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 9:14 PM on July 4, 2008


Boy, that Hancock is wacky. USA!
posted by Burhanistan at 9:15 PM on July 4, 2008


Am I too late for the love? I'm a nice guy!
posted by maxwelton at 11:01 PM on July 4, 2008


Sorry maxwelton, looks like you finished last.
posted by Cranberry at 12:25 AM on July 5, 2008


Never too late, maxwelton.
People all over the world, join hands.
posted by Meatbomb at 12:43 AM on July 5, 2008


I love you all and suspect I always will, but... we need to talk.
posted by normy at 1:13 AM on July 5, 2008


That's it, I'm OUT!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 9:29 AM on July 4


Is that you, Roger Connors?
posted by adamdschneider at 1:19 AM on July 5, 2008


Is this where I go to complain about stuff?
posted by electroboy at 7:31 AM on July 5, 2008


Lövë.
posted by Mister_A at 7:32 AM on July 5, 2008 [1 favorite]


Is this where I go to complain about stuff?

No, that's over here. Just don't sully the Queen.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 7:43 AM on July 5, 2008


Whoah... I was at Speaker's Corner almost exactly 31 years ago, as a publicity stunt for the radio personality I 'sidekicked' sent the entire "morning crew" to London to formally hand over the San Fernando Valley to Great Britain. The star of the show HAD to do a speech in Speaker's Corner and he HAD to wear an ill-fitting superhero costume while he did. And you think I can't handle embarrassment.

It was kinda weird being in London over the 4th of July weekend one year after the Bicentennial. But it was part of the theme of the whole schtick. Still, the best 4th I ever had.
posted by wendell at 11:08 AM on July 5, 2008


I want to eat cheesecake.
posted by HotPatatta at 2:03 PM on July 5, 2008


Oh man, did you guys see the epic thread closure two doors up? mathowie fuckin swooped in on his TIE fighter and he was all like "Enough of this! Vader, release him! This bickering is pointless." Then he crushes the thread in one swift stroke.
posted by ludwig_van at 2:11 PM on July 5, 2008 [1 favorite]


crushes crushed
posted by ludwig_van at 2:12 PM on July 5, 2008


Tense, indeed!
posted by Balonious Assault at 3:35 PM on July 5, 2008


I love you all.
are you saying i'm fat?
posted by sexyrobot at 4:22 PM on July 5, 2008


No, but those genes make your ass look big.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:51 PM on July 5, 2008 [2 favorites]


Hippies.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 10:50 PM on July 5, 2008


Matybe it's the booze talking.
But I totallly Love this site. And everyone on it.
even dnab
I'ts probbably rhe booze.

posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 1:00 AM on July 6, 2008


Oooh. Late to the love-fest!

Well, I like you. You know, like-like you. All of you. A lot.

I feel for you the way I felt for Daniel Desario after the Dungeons & Dragons episode. And then he never came back or called again. Please call me back Metafilter - I can't live without you.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 10:05 AM on July 6, 2008


I feel for you the way I felt for Daniel Desario after the Dungeons & Dragons episode

That is love! ::loves that episode::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:25 AM on July 6, 2008 [1 favorite]




Honestly this is a bit much. I just wanted to buy a car.
posted by Catfry at 2:13 PM on July 6, 2008


I'd like to love you all, but I don't think I have the stamina.
posted by dg at 2:20 PM on July 6, 2008


Everyone needs a hug, or has a dream of being hugged.
posted by meehawl at 3:50 PM on July 6, 2008


I dreamed of hugging once. Once.
posted by waraw at 3:53 PM on July 6, 2008


Guy walks in, asks for a set of spare strings and an effects pedal battery... I sez to him, you're a drummer, aren't you, and he sez yeah, how did you know, and I sez this is the fish and chip shop, the music shop's next door
posted by flabdablet at 9:41 PM on July 6, 2008 [3 favorites]


I lerve you guys, I mean I luff, I ...forget it.
posted by msalt at 11:30 PM on July 6, 2008


Two Fs!
posted by ludwig_van at 7:24 AM on July 7, 2008


Let me tell you about the delicious plate of potatoes fried in butter (with fresh herbs from my balcony) that I just made myself. Seriously, nobody makes home fries/hash browns/fried potatoes better than this.
posted by loiseau at 9:29 AM on July 8, 2008


What are you wearing?
posted by Dizzy at 10:27 AM on July 8, 2008


Your mum.
posted by dg at 2:06 PM on July 8, 2008


BAM! Take that.
posted by loiseau at 10:27 PM on July 8, 2008


(Everyone else has...)
posted by dersins at 10:43 PM on July 8, 2008


BURN
posted by loiseau at 3:30 PM on July 9, 2008


PLEASE RETURN MY MUM
WE'RE OUT OF PORK AND BEANS
AND THE WASHER IS MAKING THAT WONKLAR-WONKLAR SOUND AGAIN.
posted by Dizzy at 2:33 PM on July 17, 2008


We would but she won't leave. Something about not wanting to be in the blast radius when you explode.
posted by juv3nal at 4:32 PM on July 17, 2008


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