Apology. August 6, 2008 6:50 PM   Subscribe

Apology.

Looking back on the various sexism/boyzone/gender threads that I've participated in, I've decided that I'm not terribly proud of my conduct there. Although I have felt, at times, that these threads were pointless or needlessly angry, it's become clear to me that a number of posters see these threads as part of womens' overall struggle for equality - a cause that I support wholeheartedly and without condition. And while I don't feel that I've done irreperable damage to the site, it's obvious that I've offended some people. So, to anyone whom I've offended, I would like to offer my sincere apology.
posted by Afroblanco to MetaFilter-Related at 6:50 PM (125 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

You're a mensch, Afroblanco. Thanks for this.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:51 PM on August 6, 2008


Accepted!
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:54 PM on August 6, 2008


Thank you! It's forgotten.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 6:58 PM on August 6, 2008


At least you have that Second Account For Making Jokey Comments to fall back on! :P

Thanks, Afroblanco!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 6:59 PM on August 6, 2008 [1 favorite]


We cool.
posted by everichon at 7:02 PM on August 6, 2008


Props and snaps for you.
posted by iconomy at 7:04 PM on August 6, 2008


How lovely.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:06 PM on August 6, 2008 [1 favorite]


*hugz*
posted by The Straightener at 7:06 PM on August 6, 2008


Props and snaps for you.

What, no crackle?
posted by jonmc at 7:07 PM on August 6, 2008 [6 favorites]


Yay!
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 7:10 PM on August 6, 2008


Much appreciated!
posted by ottereroticist at 7:10 PM on August 6, 2008


What's your angle here, AfroBlanco? Huh? Just what are you trying to pull?

Jes' kiddin'! Good on ya for making this post!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:16 PM on August 6, 2008


Good show.
posted by NortonDC at 7:21 PM on August 6, 2008


Mistakes were made.

(Seriously, we're cool. And this is how you write an apology, people.)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:22 PM on August 6, 2008 [2 favorites]


Huzzah for the white guy with the afro who no longer has an afro! I'll buy you a beer if you're ever in L.A.
posted by scody at 7:30 PM on August 6, 2008


That's just so nice. Really. You have a lot of class. I hope some day we can buy one another some beers.
posted by onlyconnect at 7:32 PM on August 6, 2008


Whoops scody beat me to the beers. Perhaps we will have to break out the hard liquor.
posted by onlyconnect at 7:33 PM on August 6, 2008


who no longer has an afro!

NOOOOOOOOOOO
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:36 PM on August 6, 2008 [1 favorite]


Well, it's still curly, but it is indeed less Horshakesque.
posted by jonmc at 7:37 PM on August 6, 2008


Oh goody, another thread on this.
posted by smackfu at 7:43 PM on August 6, 2008


Just go ahead ahead and bend over - we'll take turns. You're no longer a man.
posted by plexi at 7:44 PM on August 6, 2008


Thanks for doing this. It makes a difference.
posted by Miko at 7:45 PM on August 6, 2008


plexi FTHQHW*.

*For The Highly Questionable Humor Win
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:47 PM on August 6, 2008


Matty bows in your general direction...
posted by matty at 7:48 PM on August 6, 2008


plexi FTWTFDTRFOW*.

*For The What The Fuck Dude, That's Really Fucking Offensive Win


Fixed that for ya, flapjax.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:52 PM on August 6, 2008


AA* + FTWTFDTRFOW + SLYT - DTMFA = Metafilteric Convergence

*Afroblanco apology
posted by lukemeister at 8:00 PM on August 6, 2008


"it's become clear to me that a number of posters see these threads as part of womens' overall struggle for equality"

Seems to me those are the people who need to apologize.
posted by gjc at 8:01 PM on August 6, 2008


Seems to me those are the people who need to apologize.

Take it elsewhere, please.
posted by Miko at 8:03 PM on August 6, 2008


I've been bouncing between today's sexism thread and catching up on the older Hipster thread, and I ran across this comment, by DevilsAdvocate. It took my head clean off. He really nailed it with a sentiment that I've been feeling, but haven't been able to articulate, or even consciously recognize as problematic or troubling...until now. What he suggests is not only something I'd like to see more of on the internet, but a positive, sincere attitude I'd like to cultivate more of in myself and in my interactions with others.

I mention this because I find this thread, as well as your apology Afroblanco, to be so incredibly effin' refreshing. Thank you.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:08 PM on August 6, 2008


You are a role model for us all, thank you for that.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:11 PM on August 6, 2008


I ran across this comment, by DevilsAdvocate...

He does have a point, there. And he has devils in his name,so it's probably a good point.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:16 PM on August 6, 2008


Good on you, that was classy Afroblanco.
posted by supercrayon at 8:17 PM on August 6, 2008


That's really classy, Afroblanco.
posted by gaspode at 8:17 PM on August 6, 2008


Plexi, you remain, as always, corny and low end, adjust your game son.

Afroblanco, I'm not sure I've followed closely enough to know what you're sorry for, but I deeply appreciate a strong apology, I believe it's the mark of a good human being, we're all made of mistakes. Thus it matters most when we can reach out and just say dammit I fucked up and I realize that. Good on ya.

Love will tear us apart, again.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:17 PM on August 6, 2008


I can't think of anything less useful than making light of an honest apology. It's the most honorable thing one person does to another, and without our capacity to recognize our mistakes, and, further, to recognize those mistakes sometimes hurt other people, and those people deserve an apology, we would be a pretty lowly species.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:20 PM on August 6, 2008 [21 favorites]


I like plexi just the way he is.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:23 PM on August 6, 2008


I can't think of anything less useful than making light of an honest apology.

I make light of everything.
posted by smackfu at 8:26 PM on August 6, 2008


It's the internet.
posted by smackfu at 8:26 PM on August 6, 2008


Still doesn't make the action useful.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:28 PM on August 6, 2008 [1 favorite]


Just go ahead ahead and bend over - we'll take turns. You're no longer a man.
posted by plexi at 7:44 PM on August 6


So much for "goddammit, you've got to be kind," eh, plexi?

Also, maybe you should relax and not be so violent. Or do you gauge yourself on your ability for disdain?
posted by scody at 8:30 PM on August 6, 2008 [6 favorites]


Cool, it's dig through posting histories time!
posted by smackfu at 8:31 PM on August 6, 2008


This makes me smile rilly rilly hard. Awesome.
posted by Stewriffic at 8:32 PM on August 6, 2008


Please! Bunnies! Hugs!
posted by lukemeister at 8:32 PM on August 6, 2008


It didn't take much digging. He's kind of made a name for himself calling out others for not being kind enough, so... sow: meet reap.
posted by scody at 8:33 PM on August 6, 2008 [1 favorite]


Still doesn't make the action useful.

It's probably useful to smackfu.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:34 PM on August 6, 2008


Useful is over there.... that part with the green background.

The only useful part of the grey bit is the bugs category.
posted by smackfu at 8:35 PM on August 6, 2008


Well, the original post, makes me feel warm and snuggly, anyway. The screechy comments that unfortunately scream OVER the glow, however, make me want to spit nails.
posted by Stewriffic at 8:38 PM on August 6, 2008


It's all white to me. And black with blue links.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:38 PM on August 6, 2008


Thanks. You're forgiven.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:39 PM on August 6, 2008


If everybody starts apologizing and being conciliatory there's not going to be enough killing and eating for my tastes.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:42 PM on August 6, 2008


So, to anyone whom I've offended, I would like to offer my sincere apology.

Such a honest human emotion it should make me happy to see such humility and grace . . . part of me wants to simply mind my own business and let sleeping dogs lie, I mean who the hell am I to judge someone's motives or their heart?

This is not my problem not my business, the right thing to do is not butt in here.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!


We are not content with negative obedience, nor even with the most abject submission. When finally you surrender to us, it must be of your own free will. We do not destroy the heretic because he resists us; so long as he resists us we never destroy him. We convert him, we capture his inner mind, we reshape him. We burn all evil and all illusion out of him; we bring him over to our side, not in appearance, but genuinely, heart and soul. We make him one of ourselves before we kill him. It is intolerable to us that an erroneous thought should exist anywhere in the world, however secret and powerless it may be. Even in the instance of death we cannot permit any deviation . . . we make the brain perfect before we blow it out.


I don't feel any better
posted by nola at 8:57 PM on August 6, 2008


If I wasn't offended, does this make it like a double-negative, so now I am offended?

Wow, afroblanco. Just...wow.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:05 PM on August 6, 2008


Also, plexi, you should probably start another thread. Just cut and paste Afro's stuff. It's okay, we'll wait.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:07 PM on August 6, 2008


Every time someone apologizes on MeTa, God kills a pitchfork.

Won't someone think of the pitchforks?
posted by qvantamon at 9:12 PM on August 6, 2008 [1 favorite]


Relax...You are forgiven. ;)
posted by schyler523 at 9:12 PM on August 6, 2008


Won't someone think of the pitchforks?

If it's the same pitchfork that recommended that Atlas Sound record, they can burn in hell as far as I'm concerned.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:22 PM on August 6, 2008 [1 favorite]


At least you have that Second Account For Making Jokey Comments to fall back on! :P

Not classy at all.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:35 PM on August 6, 2008


Hugs everyone, hugs! This is a hug thread!
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:36 PM on August 6, 2008


My name is Ivor
I'm an engine driver.
and YOU'RE ALL FORGIVEN!
posted by Sailormom at 9:41 PM on August 6, 2008


No, this is an apology thread.

Personally, I apologize for being so perfect. I suppose it's probably sparked a bit of envy in some of you.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:43 PM on August 6, 2008


And I apologize for being a magical unicorn from the planet Bizarro.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:47 PM on August 6, 2008 [2 favorites]


I apologize also. Or rather, according to my new profile picture, I transform into an oops-bodied elephant-apology hybrid who silently mouths the words "I'm sorry" over and over again while elephant feet stomp mournfully in the background.
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 9:53 PM on August 6, 2008


Kudos for seeing how your actions affect others in this instance---and what's more, not being afraid to say that you think you should change :-)
posted by lacedback at 10:03 PM on August 6, 2008


And I apologize for being a magical unicorn from the planet Bizarro.

But it's so convenient, how you can keep at least a dozen donuts on that unicorn horn of yours, like beads on a necklace! For that alone, we forgive you.

Oh, and, uh... can I have one of those donuts?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:03 PM on August 6, 2008


For anyone who hasn't met or doesn't know Afroblanco personally, I feel like you all might not understand just how truly awesome he is.

Where others will be out at any public place, comfortable in hanging out with their own groups, secretly timid about branching out to meet anyone new, Afroblanco will be the one to walk round introducing himself to anyone who appears interesting, brave enough to not worry about seeming forward about being friendly and sociable.

Where others will agree in polite company, Afroblanco will present unpopular opinions, and have enough genuine background and understanding to defend them, but enough humility to listen to what the other side has to say, in order to understand even better.

When hanging around Afroblanco, it's virtually impossible to not feel like everything is really going to be alright, in the end.

Afroblanco, it should be mentioned, comes up with the best fuckin' party odeas of anyone on the planet, ones which get everyone invited talking about nothing else until the party actually happens.

And yes, Afroblanco values sincere conversation over dramatic grandstanding, but he comes around when he understands that sometimes the "grandstanding" is indeed a sincere reflection of opinions her agrees with, and he is humble enough to openly apologize for possibly offending such sensibilities.

Afroblanco values and practices honesty in the way which should be taught to children the world over.

Three Cheers are not enough.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:07 PM on August 6, 2008 [3 favorites]


He can also crush ice with his bare hands.
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:28 PM on August 6, 2008


So this is what that hug everyone needs feels like.

Seriously, you're awesome for this. Good show.
posted by Arturus at 10:46 PM on August 6, 2008


Are you sure you're a Saunders/Vonnegut fan, plexi? Chri-ist, wotta tool.

Oh, and bravo to Afroblanco.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:51 PM on August 6, 2008


Well done, AB! Ok, it's official. I ♥ afroblanco!
(whom I met briefly at Mefi8 last year).
posted by Lynsey at 11:07 PM on August 6, 2008


Just goes to show, sometimes you write off the bar, only to write 'im right back in again.
Beginagain.
posted by team lowkey at 12:09 AM on August 7, 2008


Afroblanco=the best of the web
posted by Cranberry at 12:10 AM on August 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


I kind of love when these apology threads happen, because it gives me a reason to search through every discussion I've been in with someone. I go, "Oh, he's that guy. Oh, he was that guy too!" And then I decide whether I hate the person or not.

I can't seem to find anything to hate Afroblanco about.
posted by roll truck roll at 12:18 AM on August 7, 2008


bitch please
posted by dhammond at 12:25 AM on August 7, 2008


Misafroblancy and Metatalk. [hugs inside]
posted by theiconoclast31 at 12:55 AM on August 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


AB, this is seriously gonna get you some action. Well played.
posted by chillmost at 12:57 AM on August 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


Woo! Yay! Happy time!
posted by Jofus at 1:14 AM on August 7, 2008


You know what else? Afroblanco plays the darbukka. Yup. There's proof right over at MeFi Music.

And, sincere apologies to all for my relentless cross-site promotion of MeFi Music. But, like The Temptations said, I can't help myself.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:31 AM on August 7, 2008


I apologize for punching myself in the dick.
posted by trip and a half at 2:27 AM on August 7, 2008


I apologize for punching trip and a half in the dick.

Good on you, AB. Classy move. Shame on the people who act like dicks in this thread, I'm getting tired of pointless MeTa snark.
posted by sveskemus at 2:35 AM on August 7, 2008


So much for "goddammit, you've got to be kind," eh, plexi?

scody, that sentiment is really is more true today than yesterday, and tomorrow even more so.

Sometimes humor is different for different people - mine is just a reaction to what I perceive as overwhelming saccharin. Sort of like reaching for whisky when the Lifetime Channel is on.

But, there seems to be lots of offended women and if this thread is for them, then I'll stand in solidarity.


I've seen this happen in other people's lives, and now its happening in mine
posted by plexi at 2:43 AM on August 7, 2008


Shame on the people who act like dicks in this thread, I'm getting tired of pointless MeTa snark.

Me too.
posted by allkindsoftime at 4:03 AM on August 7, 2008


What's that, plexi, "Sheila Take a Bow"?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:23 AM on August 7, 2008


A good thing is reading a MeTa thread and imagining that every comment is a direct reply to the preceding comment, and refers only to that comment.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:23 AM on August 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


*Gives flowers*

You're awesome.
posted by Phalene at 4:51 AM on August 7, 2008


Dude, that Sensitive Guy act is not going to get you laid. Especially on a web site.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:10 AM on August 7, 2008


thank you
posted by Wilder at 5:10 AM on August 7, 2008


Dude, that Sensitive Guy act is not going to get you laid. Especially on a web site.

In my experience, nothing one does gets one laid on a web site.
posted by orange swan at 5:19 AM on August 7, 2008


orange swan,

You're doing it wrong.
posted by lukemeister at 5:36 AM on August 7, 2008


It can happen, orange swan.

Oh, and Afroblanco... very menschy.
posted by Kattullus at 5:38 AM on August 7, 2008


Great Afroblanco. Thanks for not being this guy.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:44 AM on August 7, 2008


I'd like to apologise to the people of Hull, who i have needlessly barracked on this site.


I am free next weekend.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:47 AM on August 7, 2008


Thanks, AB. And sorry for calling you a hissy.

I forgive you, too, Plexi.
posted by Pax at 5:58 AM on August 7, 2008


So, afroblanco, about a year ago, you called body-modification fans idiots and retards. Every time I've read one of your comments since then, I've thought about that one. I apologize, and I'll try to stop.
posted by box at 6:00 AM on August 7, 2008


I'd like to apologize for plexi's off-key performance of the "Fuckin' A Douchebag Blues."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:21 AM on August 7, 2008


Thanks, Afroblanco. As one of those women who gets rather passionate in arguing against sexism (and that includes sexist treatment of males), I appreciate that you're seeing a glimpse of how bigger issues may be reflected in seemingly little things on metafilter and its siblings.
posted by lleachie at 6:36 AM on August 7, 2008


Wow box, it always amazes me the grudges people hold.
posted by smackfu at 6:36 AM on August 7, 2008


I'll remember that, smackfu.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:39 AM on August 7, 2008


I'll remember that you're going to remember that, Alvy.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:42 AM on August 7, 2008


Aw, afro, how nice. You're a classy dude.
posted by amicamentis at 6:54 AM on August 7, 2008


Well done, afrobianco. Thanks for posting this.

I like plexi just the way he is.

What a suprise.

posted by languagehat at 7:21 AM on August 7, 2008


I have been only a mild participant in the threads in question, but I have read every one. I really appreciate your apology, and those among us who accept it graciously.
posted by hydropsyche at 7:23 AM on August 7, 2008


I'd like to apologize for plexi's off-key performance of the "Fuckin' A Douchebag Blues."
posted by octobersurprise at 2:21 PM on August 7


I have a wonderful singing voice. Wait, is this a metaphor?
posted by plexi at 7:39 AM on August 7, 2008


That's a classy apology. Am I really on the internet?

All kidding aside, good show.
posted by DWRoelands at 7:45 AM on August 7, 2008


I can't think of anything you've said that offended me, but I sincerely admire your efforts here.

It's a cool thing to do.
posted by quin at 7:56 AM on August 7, 2008


That's so sweet it gives me a toothache.

Seriously, it takes a big man to admit a mistake, especially in a sort of public forum like this. I congratulate you.
posted by Mister_A at 8:25 AM on August 7, 2008


Is this the part where I offer to buy someone a bear?
posted by Skorgu at 9:03 AM on August 7, 2008


I could use a bear.
posted by Mister_A at 9:06 AM on August 7, 2008


Well played, sir! Good show! :)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:15 AM on August 7, 2008


Oh sure, be all grownup and mature. This is the Internet, dude, you're sposed to be offensive.

just kiddin, nice move. We need more of this.
posted by theora55 at 9:39 AM on August 7, 2008


I apologize for stubbornly refusing to read the various sexism/boyzone/gender threads, thus missing the latest thrilling installment of MeFites Hectoring One Another.

No, wait. I totally don't apologize for that at all.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:44 AM on August 7, 2008 [2 favorites]


awww, now the much-beloved Afroblanco is doubly beloved. Classy move and apology accepted.
posted by madamjujujive at 10:11 AM on August 7, 2008


Oh YAYYY love fest. *Hugs Afroblanco.
posted by nickyskye at 11:31 AM on August 7, 2008


Anybody upthread talking about unicorns better back the eff up. I will stab you with my mythical in-name-only horn.

Otherwise, can I offer anyone a fabulous ride on my back today? I feel especially magical from all the hugs.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 11:44 AM on August 7, 2008


OK, now where in the hell is my bear?
posted by Mister_A at 12:08 PM on August 7, 2008


I could use a bear hug.
posted by trip and a half at 12:23 PM on August 7, 2008


Shh, don't wake him up.
posted by Skorgu at 12:28 PM on August 7, 2008


OK, now where in the hell is my bear?

It's over here.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:30 PM on August 7, 2008


Christ. It's easy to impress you fuckers.

Now where's my hug?
posted by bardic at 12:49 PM on August 7, 2008


This was nice.
posted by zennie at 1:30 PM on August 7, 2008


Good on ya.

I should probably take a moment to apologize for what I think is a recent upswing in my bloviation. It's just, I've been reading these books about historical campaigns for the presidency, and all of the sudden I'm calling people whoremongers and montebanks… Sybarites and Judases all!

Oh, Christ, I'm at it again.
posted by klangklangston at 3:13 PM on August 7, 2008


It's just a ploy to get laid. Why can't you all see that?
posted by KokuRyu at 3:52 PM on August 7, 2008


It's just a ploy to get laid. Why can't you all see that?

Gosh, you're right! And all along I was thinking it was just a play to get loid.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:13 PM on August 7, 2008


For a while now, I've been trying to make "Cloyds" into cod Cockney rhyming slang for "kidneys," but it hasn't stuck.
posted by klangklangston at 4:42 PM on August 7, 2008


Like, damn, he hit me in my Cloyds!
posted by klangklangston at 4:43 PM on August 7, 2008


And then I explain the joke.
posted by klangklangston at 4:43 PM on August 7, 2008


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