chococat creates something new on the internet April 16, 2009 6:31 PM Subscribe
Haha His mom must be so proud!
posted by nola at 6:39 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by nola at 6:39 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
Dude that freaks me out. Life is turning into a Charles Stross book!
posted by Mister_A at 6:46 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by Mister_A at 6:46 PM on April 16, 2009
chococat is watching you rope up your testicles
posted by jtron at 6:50 PM on April 16, 2009 [10 favorites]
posted by jtron at 6:50 PM on April 16, 2009 [10 favorites]
I was here to see it!
posted by middleclasstool at 7:01 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by middleclasstool at 7:01 PM on April 16, 2009
Maybe a NSFW tag and a note in the post?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:03 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:03 PM on April 16, 2009
You know, my browser history needed some spice.
posted by Rhaomi at 7:04 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Rhaomi at 7:04 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
CAN THIS PLEASE BE A MOTHERFUCKING SWEARING AND SHOUTING THREAD?
posted by loquacious at 7:09 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by loquacious at 7:09 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
AS YOU WISH, COCKBAG!
posted by Mister_A at 7:12 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 7:12 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
sorry about the nsfw, i somehow thought that if i didn't link to the googlesearch it didn't need it.
i think i may have lost perspective.
posted by geos at 7:14 PM on April 16, 2009
i think i may have lost perspective.
posted by geos at 7:14 PM on April 16, 2009
HEY ASSBUTT YOU FORGOT THAT I TAUGHT YOU EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT CARRYING A COCKBAG
posted by loquacious at 7:15 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by loquacious at 7:15 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Okay, getting those kinds of sites for that kind of search actually makes some sense. But why do I get some of the same results for Fat Free Blueberry Pie?
posted by burnmp3s at 7:16 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by burnmp3s at 7:16 PM on April 16, 2009
WAIT. YOUR MOM. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
posted by loquacious at 7:16 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by loquacious at 7:16 PM on April 16, 2009
CAN I JUST SAY THAT ASSBUTT IS LIKE THE FUNNIEST INSULT I'VE HEARD IN A LONG TIME?
posted by Mister_A at 7:18 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 7:18 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
PLEASE STOP HITTING ME IT MAKES ME ANGRY I CAN'T HELP IT IF MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS BROKEN OW FUCK THAT WAS A ROCK NOT A DIRT CLOD
posted by loquacious at 7:19 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by loquacious at 7:19 PM on April 16, 2009
why do I get some of the same results for Fat Free Blueberry Pie?
Because it has the words "fat" and "pie" in it.
posted by Miko at 7:22 PM on April 16, 2009
Because it has the words "fat" and "pie" in it.
posted by Miko at 7:22 PM on April 16, 2009
CAN I JUST SAY THAT ASSBUTT IS LIKE THE FUNNIEST INSULT I'VE HEARD IN A LONG TIME?
THANKS I JUST INVENTED IT THAT'LL BE 50 CENTS PER CITATION PLEASE ALSO NEED MORE GIN WILL SWEAR CREATIVELY FOR BOOZE YOU GREASY MARMOT STUFFER.
posted by loquacious at 7:23 PM on April 16, 2009
THANKS I JUST INVENTED IT THAT'LL BE 50 CENTS PER CITATION PLEASE ALSO NEED MORE GIN WILL SWEAR CREATIVELY FOR BOOZE YOU GREASY MARMOT STUFFER.
posted by loquacious at 7:23 PM on April 16, 2009
But why do I get some of the same results for Fat Free Blueberry Pie?
strangely enough "fat free pie" is enitrely wholesome...
posted by geos at 7:25 PM on April 16, 2009
strangely enough "fat free pie" is enitrely wholesome...
posted by geos at 7:25 PM on April 16, 2009
Man, I wish I could do that. Sexy butt sex sex testicle fritter butts land asscake batman tape!
Now to sit back and watch the magic happen.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:26 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
Now to sit back and watch the magic happen.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:26 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
I liked your reasoning, Miko, but it does not pass the "fat ass pie" test. There must be something more to it...
posted by Mister_A at 7:27 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 7:27 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
All I wanted was for us to laugh at a funny old movie. I swear!
posted by squalor at 7:33 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by squalor at 7:33 PM on April 16, 2009
Wait... why are we all assuming that chococat coined the phrase and not that this is the common terminology of the rope-and-pulley crowd?
Oh... for the sake of our collective sanity? I guess that works for me.
posted by Kattullus at 7:39 PM on April 16, 2009
Oh... for the sake of our collective sanity? I guess that works for me.
posted by Kattullus at 7:39 PM on April 16, 2009
My cousin hit me with a rock just above the eye when we were ten years old and he still says it was just a dirt cllod thanks a lot you ass hole for reminding me I still have a scar in my eyebrow where I got stitches IT WAS A ROCK YOU PRICK AND YOU KNEW IT TOO he has three kids now god I hate him that fucking texan
posted by yhbc at 7:41 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by yhbc at 7:41 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
OK, I think I might have figured it out
i don't think so, "fat free black pie is simple and tasty...
posted by geos at 7:43 PM on April 16, 2009
i don't think so, "fat free black pie is simple and tasty...
posted by geos at 7:43 PM on April 16, 2009
Judge them by the content of their character, not the color of their dildo.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:47 PM on April 16, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:47 PM on April 16, 2009 [4 favorites]
why are we all assuming that chococat coined the phrase and not that this is the common terminology of the rope-and-pulley crowd?
because the google search started out at zero hits.
i think the SEO algorithms use some sort of "phrase"-rank test for a given keyword set i.e. googlesearch for sites with "fat, free, pie" take the highest ranking ones and use the phrases google selects out of them.
somewhere theres a very popular "fat free blueberry pie" recipe.
posted by geos at 7:47 PM on April 16, 2009
because the google search started out at zero hits.
i think the SEO algorithms use some sort of "phrase"-rank test for a given keyword set i.e. googlesearch for sites with "fat, free, pie" take the highest ranking ones and use the phrases google selects out of them.
somewhere theres a very popular "fat free blueberry pie" recipe.
posted by geos at 7:47 PM on April 16, 2009
All I wanted was for us to laugh at a funny old movie. I swear!
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU SQUAMOUS BROCCOLI BUTTOCK! YOU'VE UNLOCKED THE PUTRID GATES OF SPURIOUS SWEARING AND CURSING! I JUST CUSSED OUT MY FUCKING CATS FOR BEING TOO CATLIKE! DID THEY DESERVE THAT? OK, YEAH, THEY DESERVED IT BECAUSE THEY'RE DUMB LITTLE HUNGRY SHIT FACTORIES BUT STILL I USUALLY JUST PET THE DUMB LITTLE HUNGRY SHIT FACTORIES AND THEN FEED THEM BUT NO NOW I FIND MYSELF IN THE KITCHEN CURSING AT THEM LIKE SOME KIND OF INTOXICATED SEA-FARING LABORER "HERE SHITTY KITTY KITTY! HERE SHITTY KITTY KITTY! DOES SHITTY KITTY WANT SOME NUMMY-NUMMY HORSE BUTTHOLES? FUCK YOU!" AND LETS JUST SAY THE CATS ARE FUCKING STARTLED AND CONFUSED, OK? THEY'LL PROBABLY PUKE SHIT ON MY PILLOW SOON ENOUGH ANYWAY.
MONKEYFUCK TWEED ASSBADGERS SHITSALAD FLEANIPPLES BELGIUM BUTTCAKE.
FUCK TEXAS!!! YEEEE HAW!
posted by loquacious at 7:50 PM on April 16, 2009 [17 favorites]
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU SQUAMOUS BROCCOLI BUTTOCK! YOU'VE UNLOCKED THE PUTRID GATES OF SPURIOUS SWEARING AND CURSING! I JUST CUSSED OUT MY FUCKING CATS FOR BEING TOO CATLIKE! DID THEY DESERVE THAT? OK, YEAH, THEY DESERVED IT BECAUSE THEY'RE DUMB LITTLE HUNGRY SHIT FACTORIES BUT STILL I USUALLY JUST PET THE DUMB LITTLE HUNGRY SHIT FACTORIES AND THEN FEED THEM BUT NO NOW I FIND MYSELF IN THE KITCHEN CURSING AT THEM LIKE SOME KIND OF INTOXICATED SEA-FARING LABORER "HERE SHITTY KITTY KITTY! HERE SHITTY KITTY KITTY! DOES SHITTY KITTY WANT SOME NUMMY-NUMMY HORSE BUTTHOLES? FUCK YOU!" AND LETS JUST SAY THE CATS ARE FUCKING STARTLED AND CONFUSED, OK? THEY'LL PROBABLY PUKE SHIT ON MY PILLOW SOON ENOUGH ANYWAY.
MONKEYFUCK TWEED ASSBADGERS SHITSALAD FLEANIPPLES BELGIUM BUTTCAKE.
FUCK TEXAS!!! YEEEE HAW!
posted by loquacious at 7:50 PM on April 16, 2009 [17 favorites]
note also that a search for fat free blueberry pie get you very different results than one for "fat free blueberry pie"
posted by geos at 7:51 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by geos at 7:51 PM on April 16, 2009
"roped-up-testicles, pole-up-the-ass rigs and devices" is the final boss of the internet.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:57 PM on April 16, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:57 PM on April 16, 2009 [7 favorites]
DAMN AND BLAST IT TO THE MOON, NETBROS, THANKS FOR THE NSFW TAG
posted by loquacious at 8:00 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by loquacious at 8:00 PM on April 16, 2009
T-minus 12 hours to a cortex tune called "Roped-up testicles, pole-up-the-ass rigs and devices." If I didn't have to go right now, I'd do one!
posted by ORthey at 8:10 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by ORthey at 8:10 PM on April 16, 2009
*click click click * You PREVERTS!!! *click click click * Ah... daaaaammmmnnnn!!!!!!
Man, chococat could be famous for a lot of things, but not THIS!!!!!!
Wow.
posted by snsranch at 8:13 PM on April 16, 2009
Man, chococat could be famous for a lot of things, but not THIS!!!!!!
Wow.
posted by snsranch at 8:13 PM on April 16, 2009
Golly.
posted by chococat at 8:14 PM on April 16, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by chococat at 8:14 PM on April 16, 2009 [11 favorites]
Some of the results predate chocoat's comment by months. It broke the internet, and bent time!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:17 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:17 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Man, chococat could be famous for a lot of things, but not THIS!!!!!!
My thoughts exactly.
posted by micayetoca at 8:39 PM on April 16, 2009
My thoughts exactly.
posted by micayetoca at 8:39 PM on April 16, 2009
Man, I wish I could do that. Sexy butt sex sex testicle fritter butts land asscake batman tape!
Now to sit back and watch the magic happen.
I thought metatalk was excluded from the general index, like amazonfail, you have to be here to search here?
super monkeybutt dildo panag curry whangdoodle berry smoothie of delight
posted by nomisxid at 8:54 PM on April 16, 2009
Now to sit back and watch the magic happen.
I thought metatalk was excluded from the general index, like amazonfail, you have to be here to search here?
super monkeybutt dildo panag curry whangdoodle berry smoothie of delight
posted by nomisxid at 8:54 PM on April 16, 2009
Shhht! This is a quiet thread.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:59 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:59 PM on April 16, 2009
It's happened before.
And it will all happen again.
(that's it, that's all I got)
posted by JenMarie at 9:03 PM on April 16, 2009
Shhht! This is a quiet thread.
IGNORE THIS AT YOUR PERIL *lights string of firecarckers*
OW, WTF? A TRANQUILIZER DART? FREE DRUGS? I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A NAP FUCK YOU!
*zzzz*
posted by loquacious at 9:05 PM on April 16, 2009
IGNORE THIS AT YOUR PERIL *lights string of firecarckers*
OW, WTF? A TRANQUILIZER DART? FREE DRUGS? I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A NAP FUCK YOU!
*zzzz*
posted by loquacious at 9:05 PM on April 16, 2009
Then I switched over to being both delighted and terrified.
You wanna asplain it to me? Because I haven't got a clue what anybody's talking about here.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:08 PM on April 16, 2009
You wanna asplain it to me? Because I haven't got a clue what anybody's talking about here.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:08 PM on April 16, 2009
Some of the results predate chocoat's comment by months.
So, like, what's going on?
posted by kosem at 9:44 PM on April 16, 2009
So, like, what's going on?
posted by kosem at 9:44 PM on April 16, 2009
stavrosthewonderchicken: You wanna asplain it to me? Because I haven't got a clue what anybody's talking about here.
Chococat made a comment with a funny phrase that someone pointed out was the first time on the internet it had ever been used. Today, it's being used as a porn keyword.
It's funny.
posted by flatluigi at 10:20 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Chococat made a comment with a funny phrase that someone pointed out was the first time on the internet it had ever been used. Today, it's being used as a porn keyword.
It's funny.
posted by flatluigi at 10:20 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Not porn keyword - spam phrase.
posted by koeselitz at 10:21 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by koeselitz at 10:21 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: Not porn keyword - spam phrase.
posted by dersins at 10:43 PM on April 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by dersins at 10:43 PM on April 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
Chococat made a comment with a funny phrase that someone pointed out was the first time on the internet it had ever been used. Today, it's being used as a porn keyword.
Ah, I see. Thank you. Hell, if somebody started a thread for every time that had happened to me, we'd need a separate Metatalk category!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:51 PM on April 16, 2009
Ah, I see. Thank you. Hell, if somebody started a thread for every time that had happened to me, we'd need a separate Metatalk category!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:51 PM on April 16, 2009
Wow.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:57 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:57 PM on April 16, 2009
thanks a lot you ass hole for reminding me I still have a scar in my eyebrow where I got stitches
OMG YHBC IS HARRY POTTER
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:16 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
OMG YHBC IS HARRY POTTER
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:16 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Fat Free Blueberry Pie
#The sound of cheesy funky music.
You want some cream on your blueberry pie, babe?
posted by Grangousier at 12:16 AM on April 17, 2009
#The sound of cheesy funky music.
You want some cream on your blueberry pie, babe?
posted by Grangousier at 12:16 AM on April 17, 2009
"THANKS I JUST INVENTED IT THAT'LL BE 50 CENTS PER CITATION PLEASE ALSO NEED MORE GIN WILL SWEAR CREATIVELY FOR BOOZE YOU GREASY MARMOT STUFFER."
This is more what I expected when I met you, with the shouting I mean. Instead, it was noon and my girlfriend was ill and unhappy and German art wasn't cheering her up (she lacks the conqueror gene), and I think you were maybe hung over and everyone was trying to keep their voices down.
posted by klangklangston at 12:54 AM on April 17, 2009
This is more what I expected when I met you, with the shouting I mean. Instead, it was noon and my girlfriend was ill and unhappy and German art wasn't cheering her up (she lacks the conqueror gene), and I think you were maybe hung over and everyone was trying to keep their voices down.
posted by klangklangston at 12:54 AM on April 17, 2009
Good luck working THAT line into a puritan webcomic, Iliad!
posted by DU at 4:15 AM on April 17, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by DU at 4:15 AM on April 17, 2009 [4 favorites]
Don't you remember? This was the begging of our realm. It's because of the way those first three comments were arraigned. The letters, in certain sequences... The spacing and punctuation.
chococat invoked the spell. Admiral Haddock invoked immediately again, giving it the tiny shove to topple the waveform of random chance, and then Citrus... Oh, CitrusFreak12. Why did it have to be you? He created the warp. The wormhole. That's what created this... place. It ensnared us all.
We exist here within the roped-up-testicles-pole-up-the-ass collective. We are all shards of that shattered Once-Was, scattered to the ground across the Patterns of the Nine. We all manifest facets of the Patterns.
From the Codex of Faux Reality, chapter Rotato, verses Slapchop through Shamwow:
The Warrior confronts the enemy directly just as the Deciever approaches amicably from behind.
The Builder erects his fortificatons at the same instant the Destroyer seeks to raze.
The Juggernaut obliterates all with his crushing weight.
The Immolator seeks only to smother the world in flames.
Watching from afar, the deadly Hunter lays in wait.
And the Harbinger dances past them all to visit death upon the Healer.
And the cycle repeats nightly, yearly (occasionally interleaved with undead plagues), as the ones bound to this world await patiently for the Returning of the CitrusFreak Duodecimus. He is coming.
We are ready.
posted by Liver at 6:58 AM on April 17, 2009 [7 favorites]
chococat invoked the spell. Admiral Haddock invoked immediately again, giving it the tiny shove to topple the waveform of random chance, and then Citrus... Oh, CitrusFreak12. Why did it have to be you? He created the warp. The wormhole. That's what created this... place. It ensnared us all.
We exist here within the roped-up-testicles-pole-up-the-ass collective. We are all shards of that shattered Once-Was, scattered to the ground across the Patterns of the Nine. We all manifest facets of the Patterns.
From the Codex of Faux Reality, chapter Rotato, verses Slapchop through Shamwow:
The Warrior confronts the enemy directly just as the Deciever approaches amicably from behind.
The Builder erects his fortificatons at the same instant the Destroyer seeks to raze.
The Juggernaut obliterates all with his crushing weight.
The Immolator seeks only to smother the world in flames.
Watching from afar, the deadly Hunter lays in wait.
And the Harbinger dances past them all to visit death upon the Healer.
And the cycle repeats nightly, yearly (occasionally interleaved with undead plagues), as the ones bound to this world await patiently for the Returning of the CitrusFreak Duodecimus. He is coming.
We are ready.
posted by Liver at 6:58 AM on April 17, 2009 [7 favorites]
has anyone thought to ask geos just WHY he was still searching for that phrase on google?? just wondering...
posted by HuronBob at 7:41 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by HuronBob at 7:41 AM on April 17, 2009
Not really. I often google that phrase, or at least some variation of it.
posted by gman at 7:48 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by gman at 7:48 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
ASSBUTT
Is an assbutt like a dickcock? or a titboob? or a pussytwat?
posted by spicynuts at 8:41 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Is an assbutt like a dickcock? or a titboob? or a pussytwat?
posted by spicynuts at 8:41 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
or a pussytwat?
I think spicynuts has stumbled upon the best cat name since Chairman Miaow.
posted by The Whelk at 8:46 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think spicynuts has stumbled upon the best cat name since Chairman Miaow.
posted by The Whelk at 8:46 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
All of my comments are barely legal, slippery wet porn spam phrases, and they're waiting for you!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:46 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:46 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think spicynuts has stumbled upon the best cat name since Chairman Miaow.
What about Inspector Cat-dget?
posted by spicynuts at 8:50 AM on April 17, 2009
What about Inspector Cat-dget?
posted by spicynuts at 8:50 AM on April 17, 2009
Good job, chococat!
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:07 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:07 AM on April 17, 2009
has anyone thought to ask geos just WHY he was still searching for that phrase on google?? just wondering...
I was just thinking that myself. It's interesting that geos contains a certain three letters plus another one that starts off the name of a certain popular search engine. Also, I think I saw a picture of geos on the fake moon landing set located behind the grassy knoll.
(But I think it was robinhoudt who searched it first, yes?)
posted by Sys Rq at 9:10 AM on April 17, 2009
I was just thinking that myself. It's interesting that geos contains a certain three letters plus another one that starts off the name of a certain popular search engine. Also, I think I saw a picture of geos on the fake moon landing set located behind the grassy knoll.
(But I think it was robinhoudt who searched it first, yes?)
posted by Sys Rq at 9:10 AM on April 17, 2009
Always use your SEO powers for the awesome.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:13 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:13 AM on April 17, 2009
to my knowledge, 'assbutt' originates on the simpsons. this link corroborates.
posted by barrett caulk at 9:15 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by barrett caulk at 9:15 AM on April 17, 2009
...BELGIUM...
I can't believe you went there, loquacious.
CHILL THE FUCK OUT DOINK-KNOCKER!!!
posted by Mister_A at 9:27 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I can't believe you went there, loquacious.
CHILL THE FUCK OUT DOINK-KNOCKER!!!
posted by Mister_A at 9:27 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
yhbc, the exact same god damned thing happened to me at the same age.
posted by tehloki at 9:39 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by tehloki at 9:39 AM on April 17, 2009
Twee assbadgers, loquacious, not "tweed".
TWEE ASSBADGERS! TWEE! GODDAMMIT, GET IT RIGHT YOU FILTHY MUFFIN-STRANGLER.
posted by aramaic at 9:43 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
TWEE ASSBADGERS! TWEE! GODDAMMIT, GET IT RIGHT YOU FILTHY MUFFIN-STRANGLER.
posted by aramaic at 9:43 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
*lights string of firecarckers*
posted by loquacious at 1:05 AM on April 17
I think you mean firecrappers.
posted by fish tick at 9:55 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by loquacious at 1:05 AM on April 17
I think you mean firecrappers.
posted by fish tick at 9:55 AM on April 17, 2009
Twee assbadgers, loquacious, not "tweed".
Hey, spoogenugget, he's forging new ground here. tweed is perfectly acceptable. revolutionary even. back off.
posted by spicynuts at 9:57 AM on April 17, 2009
Hey, spoogenugget, he's forging new ground here. tweed is perfectly acceptable. revolutionary even. back off.
posted by spicynuts at 9:57 AM on April 17, 2009
Thurston Meowell The Third
Ok....this thread is begging for closure at this point, no?
posted by spicynuts at 10:20 AM on April 17, 2009
Ok....this thread is begging for closure at this point, no?
posted by spicynuts at 10:20 AM on April 17, 2009
Hey, you know what would be great names for cats? Lord & Lady Douchebag.
posted by Mister_A at 10:35 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by Mister_A at 10:35 AM on April 17, 2009
AH, AN ALPHABET THREAD IN ALL CAPS WITH FUCKING CURSES!
posted by shmegegge at 10:53 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by shmegegge at 10:53 AM on April 17, 2009
BASTARD!
posted by The Whelk at 10:55 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 10:55 AM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Ok....this thread is begging for closure at this point, no?
maybe this will do it. i knew a guy once who called his cat Kunta Kittay. i know this place has a pretty high PC threshold, but for the record, it was a black cat. yikes.
posted by barrett caulk at 11:07 AM on April 17, 2009
maybe this will do it. i knew a guy once who called his cat Kunta Kittay. i know this place has a pretty high PC threshold, but for the record, it was a black cat. yikes.
posted by barrett caulk at 11:07 AM on April 17, 2009
FUCK YOU, FUCK THE SWAYBACKED NAG OF A FUCKING HORSE YOU RODE IN ON, FUCK THE SHITTY SADDLE AND ASSTARDED TACK ON YOUR FUCKED UP HORSE, FUCK THE FUCKASS FUCKING FOOD YOU FEED YOUR FUCKED UP HORSE, AND FUCK THE FUCKING ROAD YOU RODE ON.
fucktard.
posted by dersins at 11:09 AM on April 17, 2009
fucktard.
posted by dersins at 11:09 AM on April 17, 2009
Levar Burton is perfectly happy with things being named Kunta ... it would be offensive if the cat's name wa "Toby"
posted by Julnyes at 11:16 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by Julnyes at 11:16 AM on April 17, 2009
excellent point, julnyes. damn this hyperactive liberal conscience.
posted by barrett caulk at 11:17 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by barrett caulk at 11:17 AM on April 17, 2009
and what the hell: i have a good friend who completely innocently named his phantom-like black cat with freaky yellow eyes 'spook.' and had to have it explained to him why eyebrows raised every time he introduced the cat at parties, etc.
posted by barrett caulk at 11:21 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by barrett caulk at 11:21 AM on April 17, 2009
look, you jacknuts are impressed with yourselves cuz you can curse in alphabetical order? Fuck you in your cornholes. Do it alphabetically by USERNAME and then I'll be impressed.
posted by spicynuts at 11:24 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by spicynuts at 11:24 AM on April 17, 2009
is no one else annoyed by the "...in which" formulation?
posted by Hat Maui at 11:52 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by Hat Maui at 11:52 AM on April 17, 2009
Kunta means exactly what you think it means in Icelandic. They didn't change the characters name or bleep it out or anything when it was shown in Iceland. Píka, as in Pikachu, means vagina in Icelandic. Didn't change Pikachu's name or had him say anything else as he gamboled about on Icelandic children's television.
posted by Kattullus at 12:00 PM on April 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Kattullus at 12:00 PM on April 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
Well, duh, everything is a sexual innuendo in Icelandic. Reykjavík? Means exactly what you think it does.
The less said about Vatnsdalshólar, the better.
posted by aramaic at 12:09 PM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
The less said about Vatnsdalshólar, the better.
posted by aramaic at 12:09 PM on April 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
excellent point, julnyes. damn this hyperactive liberal conscience.
posted by barrett caulk at 2:17 PM on April 17 [+] [!]
ah it is better than having no conscience at all methinks.
also I would like to point out that I am the only person according to the internet to ever write "Great Balls of Mothra" ~ feel free to congratulate me profusely.
posted by Julnyes at 12:12 PM on April 17, 2009
posted by barrett caulk at 2:17 PM on April 17 [+] [!]
ah it is better than having no conscience at all methinks.
also I would like to point out that I am the only person according to the internet to ever write "Great Balls of Mothra" ~ feel free to congratulate me profusely.
posted by Julnyes at 12:12 PM on April 17, 2009
CAN I JUST SAY THAT ASSBUTT IS LIKE THE FUNNIEST INSULT I'VE HEARD IN A LONG TIME?
So after I nearly got run over by some asshole in a Camaro, he circled the block, and then as he drove by me again, yelled out his window, "FUCK YOU, DICKFUCK!"
Wait. You're insulting me? For using my penis? To engage in intercourse? Oooooookay then.
posted by god hates math at 12:18 PM on April 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
So after I nearly got run over by some asshole in a Camaro, he circled the block, and then as he drove by me again, yelled out his window, "FUCK YOU, DICKFUCK!"
Wait. You're insulting me? For using my penis? To engage in intercourse? Oooooookay then.
posted by god hates math at 12:18 PM on April 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
Pikachu can store electricity in its cheeks and release it in lightning-based attacks.
posted by Sailormom at 12:19 PM on April 17, 2009
posted by Sailormom at 12:19 PM on April 17, 2009
"I still have a scar in my eyebrow where I got stitches"
Hey, me too! (Although I did that to myself, jumping on the bed. OTOH, I gave my sister stitches throwing a spade at her head. In my defense, I wasn't aiming at her, I was aiming past her to scare her off because she was being so fucking annoying. In her defense, she was 6 at the time. 20+ years later, you can just barely see the scar below her hairline. My impressively bad aim is still the butt of jokes in the family.)
posted by epersonae at 12:23 PM on April 17, 2009
Hey, me too! (Although I did that to myself, jumping on the bed. OTOH, I gave my sister stitches throwing a spade at her head. In my defense, I wasn't aiming at her, I was aiming past her to scare her off because she was being so fucking annoying. In her defense, she was 6 at the time. 20+ years later, you can just barely see the scar below her hairline. My impressively bad aim is still the butt of jokes in the family.)
posted by epersonae at 12:23 PM on April 17, 2009
There's also an old Icelandic rock song about "combing your hair into a píka", refering to the hair style most American's know as a duck's ass.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:32 PM on April 17, 2009
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:32 PM on April 17, 2009
GOODGOD YOU FUCKING FUCKNUTS HAS EVERYBODY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE ALLCAPS ALPHABET FUCKFEST????????????????
posted by slogger at 1:12 PM on April 17, 2009
posted by slogger at 1:12 PM on April 17, 2009
HAGGIS FUCKING TASTES LIKE FUCKING CAT SHIT YOU SCOTTISH FUCKS! ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS...
posted by Mister_A at 1:20 PM on April 17, 2009
posted by Mister_A at 1:20 PM on April 17, 2009
IMBECILE BAT VOMIT FUCKERS EAT MY DINGLEBERRIE CREAM PIE WITH COCKBALLSTITGREASE YOU PIGRAPERS
posted by spicynuts at 1:29 PM on April 17, 2009
posted by spicynuts at 1:29 PM on April 17, 2009
I knew a black kid named Toby. Poor guy. Right after Roots came out, the other kids would make the omiea-whatever for the whip-crack sound and say "Your name is Toby!" He would say "Yes it is. Your name is Racist Honkee."
The 70s were not the most enlightened time.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:30 PM on April 17, 2009
The 70s were not the most enlightened time.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:30 PM on April 17, 2009
OH I SEE. YOU DICKNUTS DECIDED TO CHANGE THE MOTHERFUCKING SUBJECT. FUCKING DICKWEEDS. WHY DON'T YOU DOUCHEBAGS FULL OF INFECTED DIRTY CUNT WATER ALL DIE IN A FIERY SCHOOL BUS ACCIDENT?!
If you think that's good, wait until I light the 'Hat Signal and really flame out.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:42 PM on April 17, 2009
If you think that's good, wait until I light the 'Hat Signal and really flame out.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:42 PM on April 17, 2009
In the future, everyone will be famous for 805 spam pages.
posted by lekvar at 2:05 PM on April 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by lekvar at 2:05 PM on April 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
Why do you all assume those are spam pages?
Maybe someone saw that comment and thought "Wow, that's a nice name for my store. Lookout, Bed, Bath and Beyond!"
posted by qvantamon at 3:55 PM on April 17, 2009
Maybe someone saw that comment and thought "Wow, that's a nice name for my store. Lookout, Bed, Bath and Beyond!"
posted by qvantamon at 3:55 PM on April 17, 2009
MetaTalk: i think i may have lost perspective.
posted by shoesfullofdust at 5:24 PM on April 17, 2009
posted by shoesfullofdust at 5:24 PM on April 17, 2009
Q: You like sex? You are a person who likes the sex acts that we are currently engaged in?
A: Yes! I am! I like sex!
Q: You like sex! In fact, you are a person who likes sex as much as a prostitute likes sex!
A: YES I LIKE SEXY SEX AS IF IT WERE MY PROFESSION!! TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT
Q: YOU ENJOY THIS ACT YOU SEXY SEX PERSON etc.
posted by chimaera at 7:43 PM on April 17, 2009
A: Yes! I am! I like sex!
Q: You like sex! In fact, you are a person who likes sex as much as a prostitute likes sex!
A: YES I LIKE SEXY SEX AS IF IT WERE MY PROFESSION!! TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT
Q: YOU ENJOY THIS ACT YOU SEXY SEX PERSON etc.
posted by chimaera at 7:43 PM on April 17, 2009
There is nothing I enjoy more than seeing an alphabet thread attempted, only to have it sputter and die.
ALPHABET THREADS are STRICTLY VERBOTEN!
posted by Meatbomb at 2:54 PM on April 18, 2009
ALPHABET THREADS are STRICTLY VERBOTEN!
posted by Meatbomb at 2:54 PM on April 18, 2009
To a spammer, the best phrase is one with a lot of google searches and no results. As Geos pointed out, there were originally no results for that phrase. But the comment that Geos points to in the original thread likely generated a lot of searches using that phrase with no results. Spammer gold.
My guess is that if you wanted to see more of this sort of thing (you don't) you would link to google searches for nonsense phrases in the blue. Regarding fat free blueberry pie, I would think that a lot of people want a good recipe for it but nobody has one (lots of searches, no results). Quick googling confirms that recipes for fat-free pie crust will likely lead to something that does not taste good.
posted by The Loch Ness Monster at 5:16 PM on April 18, 2009 [1 favorite]
My guess is that if you wanted to see more of this sort of thing (you don't) you would link to google searches for nonsense phrases in the blue. Regarding fat free blueberry pie, I would think that a lot of people want a good recipe for it but nobody has one (lots of searches, no results). Quick googling confirms that recipes for fat-free pie crust will likely lead to something that does not taste good.
posted by The Loch Ness Monster at 5:16 PM on April 18, 2009 [1 favorite]
ALPHABET THREADS are STRICTLY VERBOTEN!
But I just learned of them last week!
You know who else declared things VERBOTEN? Hitler, that's who. Frikkin' Adolph frikkin' Hitler.
posted by longsleeves at 8:24 PM on April 18, 2009
But I just learned of them last week!
You know who else declared things VERBOTEN? Hitler, that's who. Frikkin' Adolph frikkin' Hitler.
posted by longsleeves at 8:24 PM on April 18, 2009
Hitler, that's who.
Is this something I'd have to have watched any given half hour of the History Channel to understand?
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:23 PM on April 18, 2009
Is this something I'd have to have watched any given half hour of the History Channel to understand?
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:23 PM on April 18, 2009
Well, yes.
posted by longsleeves at 12:30 AM on April 19, 2009
posted by longsleeves at 12:30 AM on April 19, 2009
Jeez.
posted by longsleeves at 12:32 AM on April 19, 2009
posted by longsleeves at 12:32 AM on April 19, 2009
« Older Go Jessamyn West, young man, and get out of the... | cortex vs. NYC: the meetupening Newer »
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:39 PM on April 16, 2009 [4 favorites]