Happy birthday, cortex! April 26, 2009 9:33 AM Subscribe
Cortex turns 30 today. Hiccups: gone. Pants status: unknown. Metafilter contributions: Awesome!
bwahahahaha! Same age as my baby brother! hippy birfday!
posted by lysdexic at 9:37 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by lysdexic at 9:37 AM on April 26, 2009
I do not need to know the pants status of cortex.
posted by typewriter at 9:38 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by typewriter at 9:38 AM on April 26, 2009
Oh thank jehu, I was worried about those hiccups. Happy Birthday, best co-worker ever!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:39 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:39 AM on April 26, 2009
Is THAT why MetaFilter's taking the day off? Okay, see y'all Monday.
(and congrats, Josher, the Big 0s aren't so bad, it's the 5s midway between that are dangerous)
posted by wendell at 9:40 AM on April 26, 2009
(and congrats, Josher, the Big 0s aren't so bad, it's the 5s midway between that are dangerous)
posted by wendell at 9:40 AM on April 26, 2009
This demands three of the giant donuts.
(The big three o's. Geddit?)
posted by klangklangston at 9:43 AM on April 26, 2009 [3 favorites]
(The big three o's. Geddit?)
posted by klangklangston at 9:43 AM on April 26, 2009 [3 favorites]
Agree with wendell: the 0's come with mysterious warnings, but it's the 5's that really mess with you.
Anyone with today as a b-day, have a happy one.
posted by batmonkey at 9:44 AM on April 26, 2009
Anyone with today as a b-day, have a happy one.
posted by batmonkey at 9:44 AM on April 26, 2009
The pants status of cortex is a great unknowable. Hi!
(lol)butt
butts lol
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:50 AM on April 26, 2009
(lol)butt
butts lol
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:50 AM on April 26, 2009
I KNEW I was old enough to be his mother.
In other words stock for Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts will probably soar tomorrow....
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:53 AM on April 26, 2009
In other words stock for Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts will probably soar tomorrow....
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:53 AM on April 26, 2009
Woah. Cortex and I share a birthday. Happy birthday, dude.
ps: The life expectancy of an American male is 75.
posted by voltairemodern at 9:55 AM on April 26, 2009
ps: The life expectancy of an American male is 75.
posted by voltairemodern at 9:55 AM on April 26, 2009
I am wearing pants so cortex doesn't have to. It's my birthday gift to him. Happy three-oh, cortex!
posted by Quietgal at 10:01 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by Quietgal at 10:01 AM on April 26, 2009
ps: The life expectancy of an American male is 75.
With pants.
Without... not so much.
Happy Birthday cortex and voltairemodern, and anyone else who needs one.
posted by netbros at 10:02 AM on April 26, 2009
With pants.
Without... not so much.
Happy Birthday cortex and voltairemodern, and anyone else who needs one.
posted by netbros at 10:02 AM on April 26, 2009
Happy Birthday, cortex!
Do you have any crazy plans?
posted by Kattullus at 10:04 AM on April 26, 2009
Do you have any crazy plans?
posted by Kattullus at 10:04 AM on April 26, 2009
I am going to do some crazy-ass chilling out and possibly consume some barbecue. It will be epic.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:07 AM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:07 AM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
I am going to do some crazy-ass chilling out and possibly consume some barbecue. It will be epic.
*Prepares post on overweight feminist vegan Christians that use PCs*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:23 AM on April 26, 2009 [5 favorites]
*Prepares post on overweight feminist vegan Christians that use PCs*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:23 AM on April 26, 2009 [5 favorites]
Enjoy this, cortex. After 30, what used to be "birthday" becomes whatever day of the week it is. Have a propah time.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:24 AM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:24 AM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
Happy birthday, cortex. I have written you a birthday song, or, rather, started writing one. I haven't figured out the words yes, but, since this thread has already been started, I might as well share the melody with you. I'll just sing nonsense words over it, so that you get the gist. It goes like this:
La la la something something CORTEX something BIRTHDAY
La la la Here I'll probably sing something about METAFILTER
Dum dum dum dum LA LA LA LA LA (aside: I rather like how dramatic that moment is)
La la la and more of some lyrics about your BIRTHDAY!
I hope you like it. When I figure out the lyrics, I think it's going to be awesome.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:37 AM on April 26, 2009 [6 favorites]
La la la something something CORTEX something BIRTHDAY
La la la Here I'll probably sing something about METAFILTER
Dum dum dum dum LA LA LA LA LA (aside: I rather like how dramatic that moment is)
La la la and more of some lyrics about your BIRTHDAY!
I hope you like it. When I figure out the lyrics, I think it's going to be awesome.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:37 AM on April 26, 2009 [6 favorites]
Happy Birthday to both cortex and voltairemodern, then!
posted by badmoonrising at 10:43 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by badmoonrising at 10:43 AM on April 26, 2009
cortex: now officially untrustworthy.
posted by maudlin at 10:44 AM on April 26, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by maudlin at 10:44 AM on April 26, 2009 [8 favorites]
i would have thought it would have taken more than 30 years to cultivate that amount of cool.
NOT butt smooching! have you heard his version of 'oh, superman'?
happy b-day!
posted by msconduct at 10:44 AM on April 26, 2009
NOT butt smooching! have you heard his version of 'oh, superman'?
happy b-day!
posted by msconduct at 10:44 AM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday! Enjoy the barbecue and the chilling and what will probably be a busy, busy day in meTa because we know that's what you want most for your birthday! Right?
posted by rtha at 10:48 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by rtha at 10:48 AM on April 26, 2009
Renew! Renew!
posted by anifinder at 10:53 AM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by anifinder at 10:53 AM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
(Doing a little jig in Cortex's honor!)
Happy B-day!!
Now, everybody dance!!
posted by pearlybob at 10:57 AM on April 26, 2009
Happy B-day!!
Now, everybody dance!!
posted by pearlybob at 10:57 AM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday, cortex! Too bad the weather here in PDX isn't celebrating with you. :\
posted by nonmerci at 10:58 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by nonmerci at 10:58 AM on April 26, 2009
Ah, turning thirty! On my thirtieth I drove to New Haven and got stinking drunk and managed to get back to NYC in time to stagger in to work the next morning, though I no longer remember how. And I didn't even have giant doughnuts to help! You kids today have it easy! And furthermore...
*is dragged off by Buttslol Squad*
. . .
*returns, chastened*
Uh, what I meant to say is: happy birthday!
posted by languagehat at 11:03 AM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
*is dragged off by Buttslol Squad*
. . .
*returns, chastened*
Uh, what I meant to say is: happy birthday!
posted by languagehat at 11:03 AM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
Many happy returns of the day to voltairemodern and that other guy.
Seriously, Happy Birthday to cortex too!
posted by Nick Verstayne at 11:07 AM on April 26, 2009
Seriously, Happy Birthday to cortex too!
posted by Nick Verstayne at 11:07 AM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday, to my favorite hilarious whippersnapper!
posted by scody at 11:14 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by scody at 11:14 AM on April 26, 2009
There once was a man named Millard
Never once known to spin a canard
A mod on the 'filter
(which mathowie built 'er)
We bid him good cheer/best regards!
posted by ORthey at 11:22 AM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
Never once known to spin a canard
A mod on the 'filter
(which mathowie built 'er)
We bid him good cheer/best regards!
posted by ORthey at 11:22 AM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
I know the status of cortex' pants. RFID chips in every pair. Woot.
posted by loquacious at 11:24 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by loquacious at 11:24 AM on April 26, 2009
one step closer to death
another one bites the dust
today's your birthday!
happy birthday to you!
posted by double block and bleed at 11:25 AM on April 26, 2009
Cortext is younger than me? Well, fuck.
posted by mrmojoflying at 11:26 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by mrmojoflying at 11:26 AM on April 26, 2009
the force is strong in this one. happy 30th. i'm sure the whole bea-arthur-logan's-run-kharma-is-a-golden-gurl thing is all bullshit. please don't feel too guilty.
posted by stubby phillips at 11:32 AM on April 26, 2009
posted by stubby phillips at 11:32 AM on April 26, 2009
On my 30th birthday I discovered a gray pube. Thankfully it was an isolated incident.
Have a great feast and much fun, dude. Happy Birthday.
posted by Devils Slide at 11:34 AM on April 26, 2009
Have a great feast and much fun, dude. Happy Birthday.
posted by Devils Slide at 11:34 AM on April 26, 2009
(Doing a little jig in Cortex's honor!)
Happy B-day!!
Now, everybody dance!!
To a legend in every world city
We sing a fresh birthday ditty
The man do be chillin'
But we hope he's not illin'
For at least he's not turnin' fitty.
posted by lukemeister at 11:38 AM on April 26, 2009
Happy B-day!!
Now, everybody dance!!
To a legend in every world city
We sing a fresh birthday ditty
The man do be chillin'
But we hope he's not illin'
For at least he's not turnin' fitty.
posted by lukemeister at 11:38 AM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday cortex!
I remember 29 being a much harder birthday. At 30 I think I was just kind of numb.
posted by chococat at 11:52 AM on April 26, 2009
I remember 29 being a much harder birthday. At 30 I think I was just kind of numb.
posted by chococat at 11:52 AM on April 26, 2009
voltairemodern: "The life expectancy of an American male is 75."
Nit picking: The life expectancy of an American male born in 2005 (last data avialable) was 75.2 years. The life expectancy of an American male born in 1980 (closest datapoint I could find to 1979) was 67.1. [Source]
Sorry to steal eight years from you.
posted by Plutor at 12:00 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
Nit picking: The life expectancy of an American male born in 2005 (last data avialable) was 75.2 years. The life expectancy of an American male born in 1980 (closest datapoint I could find to 1979) was 67.1. [Source]
Sorry to steal eight years from you.
posted by Plutor at 12:00 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
Woo! Many happy returns, cortex. And show that bbq who is boss.
posted by Caduceus at 12:01 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by Caduceus at 12:01 PM on April 26, 2009
i'm sure the whole bea-arthur-logan's-run-kharma-is-a-golden-gurl thing is all bullshit.
What? No Jenny Agutter?
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:03 PM on April 26, 2009
What? No Jenny Agutter?
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:03 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday, Cortex -- may you enjoy many more.
Somewhere along the way, I missed the 'pants' meme. Anyone feel like educating the ignorant?
posted by Malor at 12:06 PM on April 26, 2009
Somewhere along the way, I missed the 'pants' meme. Anyone feel like educating the ignorant?
posted by Malor at 12:06 PM on April 26, 2009
Do you know what this means, Josh? It means you will be an old man before you know it. Time will begin to pass more and more quickly... and then, one day, you'll realize that everything of significance and importance to you is in the past, and it will be time to die.
Have a good one!
posted by Meatbomb at 12:39 PM on April 26, 2009 [4 favorites]
Have a good one!
posted by Meatbomb at 12:39 PM on April 26, 2009 [4 favorites]
Pants are not required for explaining memes on the Intertubes.
Congratulations on your 30th lap, cortex, and on the completion of another one for you too voltairemodern. May you cling to this loopy space rock for many, many more trips around the sun.
posted by carsonb at 12:42 PM on April 26, 2009
Congratulations on your 30th lap, cortex, and on the completion of another one for you too voltairemodern. May you cling to this loopy space rock for many, many more trips around the sun.
posted by carsonb at 12:42 PM on April 26, 2009
Choice!
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:51 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:51 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday, biotch!
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 1:03 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 1:03 PM on April 26, 2009
A genuine, heartfelt best wishes to you, kiddo.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:08 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:08 PM on April 26, 2009
*jumps out of a cake 800 miles away*
For someone I've never met, I kinda... love ya... man. Sheeit, and me with icing in my hair
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:09 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
For someone I've never met, I kinda... love ya... man. Sheeit, and me with icing in my hair
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:09 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
Buon compleanno a voltairemodern e cortex
posted by francesca too at 1:10 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by francesca too at 1:10 PM on April 26, 2009
We should all chip in and buy the poor guy a pair of CorTeX pants so he can finally go outside.
posted by lukemeister at 1:13 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by lukemeister at 1:13 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy Birthday!!
posted by Stewriffic at 1:20 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by Stewriffic at 1:20 PM on April 26, 2009
Well, Damn! Happy birthday and many happy returns of the day!
BARBEQUE. HMM, GOOD IDEA.
posted by longsleeves at 1:25 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
BARBEQUE. HMM, GOOD IDEA.
posted by longsleeves at 1:25 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
yay cortex! long may he reign as the lord of NOPANTSISTAN.
posted by rmd1023 at 1:44 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by rmd1023 at 1:44 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
jessamyn: "Happy Birthday, best co-worker ever!"
Heh. I bet Matt, pb and vacapinta don't feel hurt at all by this statement.
Happy birthday cortex! We April baby's sure are awesome, aren't we?
posted by Effigy2000 at 1:46 PM on April 26, 2009
Heh. I bet Matt, pb and vacapinta don't feel hurt at all by this statement.
Happy birthday cortex! We April baby's sure are awesome, aren't we?
posted by Effigy2000 at 1:46 PM on April 26, 2009
Plutor: Nitpicking, but you pulled the wrong number out of our table. Also, life expectancy at birth isn't a relevant stat for someone 30 years of age.
posted by found missing at 1:55 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by found missing at 1:55 PM on April 26, 2009
deletion is the reason for the season
thanks for making it enjoyable.
happy birthday!
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:11 PM on April 26, 2009
thanks for making it enjoyable.
happy birthday!
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:11 PM on April 26, 2009
Hey cortex, do you already have The Orange Box? It's incredibly cheap on Steam this weekend and everyone I've offered to gift it to already has it. Will you be yet another link in the chain of disappointment?
posted by ODiV at 2:15 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by ODiV at 2:15 PM on April 26, 2009
Cortex,
I fail at Astro Zombie's song-writing genius, but enoy this happy birthday song anyway!
posted by misha at 2:16 PM on April 26, 2009
I fail at Astro Zombie's song-writing genius, but enoy this happy birthday song anyway!
posted by misha at 2:16 PM on April 26, 2009
Welcome to the dirty thirties! Have an excellent time. Happy Birthday, Cortex.
posted by crossoverman at 2:26 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by crossoverman at 2:26 PM on April 26, 2009
found missing: "Plutor: Nitpicking, but you pulled the wrong number out of our table. Also, life expectancy at birth isn't a relevant stat for someone 30 years of age."
Alright then. Life expectancy for a male 30-year-old as of 2004: 46.9 additional years. (source).
You can have your eight years back, with interest.
posted by Plutor at 2:59 PM on April 26, 2009
Alright then. Life expectancy for a male 30-year-old as of 2004: 46.9 additional years. (source).
You can have your eight years back, with interest.
posted by Plutor at 2:59 PM on April 26, 2009
hey cortex
way to live another year
good job
posted by paisley henosis at 3:03 PM on April 26, 2009 [3 favorites]
way to live another year
good job
posted by paisley henosis at 3:03 PM on April 26, 2009 [3 favorites]
*Prepares post on overweight feminist vegan Christians that use PCs*
...to write about Richard Dawkins and cat declawing slash.
posted by rodgerd at 3:17 PM on April 26, 2009
...to write about Richard Dawkins and cat declawing slash.
posted by rodgerd at 3:17 PM on April 26, 2009
*prepares comment on Brandon Blatcher's post about feminist vegan hedge fund managers who ride fixies*
posted by hattifattener at 3:27 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by hattifattener at 3:27 PM on April 26, 2009
HIPPY YARD BATH
posted by trip and a half at 3:42 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by trip and a half at 3:42 PM on April 26, 2009
I am staying the hell out of the yard today.
posted by dirty hippie at 4:01 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by dirty hippie at 4:01 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
OK, 60 more laps around the sun. GO!
posted by not_on_display at 4:04 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by not_on_display at 4:04 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday Cortex!
posted by IndigoRain at 4:10 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by IndigoRain at 4:10 PM on April 26, 2009
Lazy fucker doesn't pump his own gas.
(or pay taxes on it)
posted by Artw at 4:19 PM on April 26, 2009
(or pay taxes on it)
posted by Artw at 4:19 PM on April 26, 2009
woohoo - this must be where i sign up for a get-out-of-jail-free card for my next foot-in-mouth moment!
happy birthday, cortex! nice to see that you've finally reached the age of reason!
damn, that didn't last long
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:48 PM on April 26, 2009
happy birthday, cortex! nice to see that you've finally reached the age of reason!
damn, that didn't last long
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:48 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday, you longhaired weirdo!
posted by matildaben at 5:06 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by matildaben at 5:06 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy Birthday, dude! May you remain pantsless and free, and may all of your donuts be delicious.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:09 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:09 PM on April 26, 2009
We should all chip in and buy the poor guy a pair of CorTeX pants
This was the best I could find.
Happy Birthday, cortex!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:13 PM on April 26, 2009
This was the best I could find.
Happy Birthday, cortex!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:13 PM on April 26, 2009
Sure - Go ahead. Enjoy your special day. You've earned it, I guess. But you're a man, now. Your new job starts tomorrow. First shift, crack of dawn. Don't be late. Keep those damn kids off the lawn.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:23 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:23 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
Happy birthday, Tex! I'll have to buy you a beer when you're in NYC next weekend.
.... and I'm totally going to call you Tex from now on. You should grow a Yosemite Sam moustache and wear a ten-gallon hat. Six-shooters are optional.
posted by Afroblanco at 5:43 PM on April 26, 2009
.... and I'm totally going to call you Tex from now on. You should grow a Yosemite Sam moustache and wear a ten-gallon hat. Six-shooters are optional.
posted by Afroblanco at 5:43 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday! Hopefully many more to come.
posted by metastability at 5:54 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by metastability at 5:54 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy B-day, Cortex. And many mooooooooooooooooooooooore!
posted by Grlnxtdr at 5:59 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by Grlnxtdr at 5:59 PM on April 26, 2009
Cortex is awesome, makes a person rethink cannibalism.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:14 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:14 PM on April 26, 2009
Damn, outside voice.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:15 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:15 PM on April 26, 2009
cortex, I made this for you.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 6:15 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 6:15 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
Wawaweewa! Is nice, you make 30 years yes? No dying yet please! Another 30 and then some, k?
Congrats!
posted by pyrex at 6:32 PM on April 26, 2009
Congrats!
posted by pyrex at 6:32 PM on April 26, 2009
Congrats!
posted by orthogonality at 6:43 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by orthogonality at 6:43 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy Happy! And many more.
posted by Space Kitty at 7:18 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by Space Kitty at 7:18 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday, you wacky, wonderful Taurean, you! And many happy returns!
posted by Lynsey at 7:19 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by Lynsey at 7:19 PM on April 26, 2009
Oh, go fuck a rainbow.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:22 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by middleclasstool at 7:22 PM on April 26, 2009
This Cortex fellow, he works here? I thought he was just in charge of the donuts.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:49 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:49 PM on April 26, 2009
Mod note: I went out for a walk today because it was so nice out. On the way back me and my friends saw a beautiful rainbow and we all stood watching it along with some other people on the street who had just seen it. Then my friend [another MeFite] said "Aww go fuck a rainbow" and we had to spend a long time explaining to his partner what that exactly meant. And I know cortex would have laughed in that way he has, so it was sort of like a b'day present for him [in lieu of scotch].
also mathowie is my favorite boss, pb is my favorite wizard, vacapinta is my favorite travelling photographing expat and Meatbomb is my favorite astral mod - just so everyone feels included
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:00 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
also mathowie is my favorite boss, pb is my favorite wizard, vacapinta is my favorite travelling photographing expat and Meatbomb is my favorite astral mod - just so everyone feels included
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:00 PM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]
Felicitations and refabulations, sir!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:08 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:08 PM on April 26, 2009
April 20, 1979: Jimmy Carter attacked by a rabbit. Six days later: cortex born. Coincidence? I think not!
posted by lukemeister at 8:22 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by lukemeister at 8:22 PM on April 26, 2009
Woah. Cortex and I share a birthday. Happy birthday, dude.
posted by voltairemodern at 9:55 AM on April 26 [+] [!]
Me too! I guess I'll go have a drink in our honor. My birthday wish to you both is that you had a better birthday than me (and I set the bar pretty high)!
posted by silkygreenbelly at 8:28 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by voltairemodern at 9:55 AM on April 26 [+] [!]
Me too! I guess I'll go have a drink in our honor. My birthday wish to you both is that you had a better birthday than me (and I set the bar pretty high)!
posted by silkygreenbelly at 8:28 PM on April 26, 2009
Happy birthday, silkygreenbelly and voltairemodern! I think this means you can be called upon to carry out cortex's duties if he is unable to fulfill them.
posted by lukemeister at 8:33 PM on April 26, 2009
posted by lukemeister at 8:33 PM on April 26, 2009
I ended up having that barbecue after all—my dad can grill a mean hamburger—and I found a bottle of Canadian blended whiskey in the parents' liquor cabinet that nobody could even explain the existence of. Good times!
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:36 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:36 PM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]
You mean all these times I imagined masturbating onto your brain, you were only 20-something? Can I go to jail for that?
posted by fleacircus at 1:26 AM on April 27, 2009
posted by fleacircus at 1:26 AM on April 27, 2009
Happy day after your birthday as well. I missed it yesterday.
posted by micayetoca at 4:18 AM on April 27, 2009
posted by micayetoca at 4:18 AM on April 27, 2009
Whippersnapper. 30 ain't shit.
Happy b'day cortex.
posted by fourcheesemac at 4:41 AM on April 27, 2009
Happy b'day cortex.
posted by fourcheesemac at 4:41 AM on April 27, 2009
30?
You mean we'd be posting elephants if it weren't for that meddling kid?
(happy birthday, c'tex)
posted by eriko at 5:43 AM on April 27, 2009
You mean we'd be posting elephants if it weren't for that meddling kid?
(happy birthday, c'tex)
posted by eriko at 5:43 AM on April 27, 2009
You're the birthday! you're the birthday! you're the birthday boy or girl!
posted by The Whelk at 6:34 AM on April 27, 2009
posted by The Whelk at 6:34 AM on April 27, 2009
A coworker just turned 30 last week, and I was forced to explain how this works; At 30, everything on your body that functioned fine when you were 29 will begin to fail. There is no reason for this, it's just the way it is. But don't worry about it, because when you hit 35 the downward descent begins in earnest;
At 30, I woke up, got out of bed, stretched and pulled a muscle. I thought to myself "What the fuck?! All I did was stretch out! This is some bullshit!"
At 35, the same thing happened, but I never actually made it to 'get out of bed' point.
I pulled a muscle sleeping.
Welcome to your third decade. Everything gets more interesting now!
Happy belated birthday. For reals, yo!
posted by quin at 7:55 AM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]
At 30, I woke up, got out of bed, stretched and pulled a muscle. I thought to myself "What the fuck?! All I did was stretch out! This is some bullshit!"
At 35, the same thing happened, but I never actually made it to 'get out of bed' point.
I pulled a muscle sleeping.
Welcome to your third decade. Everything gets more interesting now!
Happy belated birthday. For reals, yo!
posted by quin at 7:55 AM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]
My God...this site is run by KIDS!!!
Happy Birthday, kid.
posted by rocket88 at 8:11 AM on April 27, 2009
Happy Birthday, kid.
posted by rocket88 at 8:11 AM on April 27, 2009
Fourth. Yes.
Basic math skills are something else that will eventually begin to fail you.
posted by quin at 8:17 AM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]
Basic math skills are something else that will eventually begin to fail you.
posted by quin at 8:17 AM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]
No more Young Adult for you! Ha ha ha! But look on the bright side, you're still in the key 25-34 demographic for 4 more years!
Happy Birthday Mr. Brain Stem!
posted by cavalier at 8:34 AM on April 27, 2009
Happy Birthday Mr. Brain Stem!
posted by cavalier at 8:34 AM on April 27, 2009
Yay, congrats Josh!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:50 AM on April 27, 2009
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:50 AM on April 27, 2009
Your birthday should've been today. Not only would I not be a day late(and dollar short, as usual), but all these other folks would look extremely foolish, wishing you a happy birthday a day early! *evil cackle*
posted by owtytrof at 9:49 AM on April 27, 2009
posted by owtytrof at 9:49 AM on April 27, 2009
"Not supported on the iPhone?" Youtube, do you have any idea who cortex is?! Fix this with a quckness.
posted by Pronoiac at 6:04 PM on April 27, 2009
posted by Pronoiac at 6:04 PM on April 27, 2009
Fix this with a quickness, I mean. With a quckness is optional.
posted by Pronoiac at 6:06 PM on April 27, 2009
posted by Pronoiac at 6:06 PM on April 27, 2009
BIRTHDAY UKULELE YOUTUBE VIDEO FUCK YEAH
I totally expected you to take a big bite of a giant donut (which would suddenly appear, dangling by a string) at the very end. The insouciant little LOOK AT ME ROCKING HARD WITH MY FUCKING UKULELE grin was a nice second best, however. Do you and your ukulele take requests?
posted by scody at 6:17 PM on April 27, 2009
I totally expected you to take a big bite of a giant donut (which would suddenly appear, dangling by a string) at the very end. The insouciant little LOOK AT ME ROCKING HARD WITH MY FUCKING UKULELE grin was a nice second best, however. Do you and your ukulele take requests?
posted by scody at 6:17 PM on April 27, 2009
There's a distinction to be made between taking requests and actually fulfilling them, I figure, but with that caveat on the table I'm a pretty accommodating guy, yeah.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:22 PM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:22 PM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]
with that caveat on the table I'm a pretty accommodating guy
The Clash! The Jam! Something from David Bowie's Berlin period! It was my birthday, too! a couple of months ago
posted by scody at 6:42 PM on April 27, 2009
The Clash! The Jam! Something from David Bowie's Berlin period! It was my birthday, too! a couple of months ago
posted by scody at 6:42 PM on April 27, 2009
Happy Yesterbirthday, Cortex. Medulla and Sarah say they miss you so don't stay away too long.
posted by effluvia at 7:06 PM on April 27, 2009
posted by effluvia at 7:06 PM on April 27, 2009
A baritone ukulele? You disappoint me, sir.
That there is a soprano, sir.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:42 PM on April 27, 2009
That there is a soprano, sir.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:42 PM on April 27, 2009
Do you and your ukulele take requests?
Yay cortex gets another website!! I enjoyed that video very much.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:09 PM on April 27, 2009
Yay cortex gets another website!! I enjoyed that video very much.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:09 PM on April 27, 2009
cortex: "That there is a soprano, sir."
I was hoping so. All I could tell from the video was that it was tuned DGBE, so I went with the outrage.
posted by Plutor at 5:11 AM on April 28, 2009
I was hoping so. All I could tell from the video was that it was tuned DGBE, so I went with the outrage.
posted by Plutor at 5:11 AM on April 28, 2009
I think I figured out the problem and that is that you are totally full of poop. Sucker is tuned ADF#B, straight up, and you are COLD BUSTED.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:51 AM on April 28, 2009
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:51 AM on April 28, 2009
Hey, are those guitar strings or are there actually ukelay- ukely- itty bitty strings for that thing?
posted by lysdexic at 7:33 AM on April 28, 2009
posted by lysdexic at 7:33 AM on April 28, 2009
It came strung, but I got an extra pack with it and they're totally labeled as uke strings. You could probably get by cutting classical strings in half or something, but that seems silly.
Ukes are apparently just ridiculously economical. This is a really fun little guy and it's all of like $50; some time in the not-too-distant future I'll probably drop some cash on a deluxe model in a lower register, and that'll cost all of a whopping two hundred bucks or so. Craziness.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:40 AM on April 28, 2009
Ukes are apparently just ridiculously economical. This is a really fun little guy and it's all of like $50; some time in the not-too-distant future I'll probably drop some cash on a deluxe model in a lower register, and that'll cost all of a whopping two hundred bucks or so. Craziness.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:40 AM on April 28, 2009
cortex: "I think I figured out the problem and that is that you are totally full of poop. Sucker is tuned ADF#B, straight up, and you are COLD BUSTED."
Well, shits. That's what happens when you assume Cortex is only mostly talented.
posted by Plutor at 7:41 AM on April 28, 2009
Well, shits. That's what happens when you assume Cortex is only mostly talented.
posted by Plutor at 7:41 AM on April 28, 2009
Much belated Happy 30th from somebody who just did Happy 50th. Don't believe all them upthread, things actually get better as you get older.
Except for that weird 'what happened to my body' thing. A hint: start doing yoga religiously now.
I can't remember much about my 30th birthday except that I was planning on going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers but their guitarist overdosed.
posted by jokeefe at 10:37 AM on April 28, 2009
Except for that weird 'what happened to my body' thing. A hint: start doing yoga religiously now.
I can't remember much about my 30th birthday except that I was planning on going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers but their guitarist overdosed.
posted by jokeefe at 10:37 AM on April 28, 2009
A hint: start doing yoga religiously now.
Yes, before 30 yoga is basically the practice of stretching for one hour. After 30, you can start to tune into the manifestations of the Cosmic Consciousness via your in-breaths & out-breaths, and you can start to see a mystical microcosm of all of creation in the downward dog.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:15 PM on April 28, 2009
Yes, before 30 yoga is basically the practice of stretching for one hour. After 30, you can start to tune into the manifestations of the Cosmic Consciousness via your in-breaths & out-breaths, and you can start to see a mystical microcosm of all of creation in the downward dog.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:15 PM on April 28, 2009
Belated happy birthday, cortex. Somehow I, who never miss a Metatalk thread, missed this one.
posted by dersins at 3:30 PM on April 28, 2009
posted by dersins at 3:30 PM on April 28, 2009
p.s. fyi being in your 30's is substantially awesomer than being in your 20's, which in turn is substantially awesomer than being a teenager. This has me avidly looking forward to my 40's.
posted by dersins at 3:32 PM on April 28, 2009
posted by dersins at 3:32 PM on April 28, 2009
Yes. Due to the divine inter-relatedness of all things, one person's huge disturbance in the force is another's shoe slipping slightly on a turd left unscooped by the owner of an irritably-boweled chihuahua.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:22 PM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:22 PM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
This has me avidly looking forward to my 40's.
Speaking as someone a couple of months over that line, I can tell you that it is indeed MAGICALLY AWESOME, but the strict rules of the Born in the 1960s Club prohibit me from saying any more.
posted by scody at 4:48 PM on April 28, 2009
Speaking as someone a couple of months over that line, I can tell you that it is indeed MAGICALLY AWESOME, but the strict rules of the Born in the 1960s Club prohibit me from saying any more.
posted by scody at 4:48 PM on April 28, 2009
I can tell you that it is indeed MAGICALLY AWESOME, but the strict rules of the Born in the 1960s Club prohibit me from saying any more.
* Makes secret gang sign at scody. *
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:29 PM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
* Makes secret gang sign at scody. *
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:29 PM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Happy belated birthday--man, I need to get here and scroll down more often!--and seconds on all the compliments.
Man, for some reason I had to log in to comment to this thread. From home, where I am always logged in and had already just commented in the blue. What is up with that ?
Later this summer, I will be exactly twice your age. Twice and more forever after that, too, now that I think about it. That will only be true, however, for a lot less than forever.
And if I have any words of wisdom--hah!--at all to offer here it is that it is my conclusion that the purpose in life is to learn to be kinder and always more patient with people. You have been incredibly kind and patient, certainly far more than me, and far more than the average bear, too, so I have to say that you are doing very well on that score so far. Good on you.
posted by y2karl at 5:39 AM on April 29, 2009 [1 favorite]
Man, for some reason I had to log in to comment to this thread. From home, where I am always logged in and had already just commented in the blue. What is up with that ?
Later this summer, I will be exactly twice your age. Twice and more forever after that, too, now that I think about it. That will only be true, however, for a lot less than forever.
And if I have any words of wisdom--hah!--at all to offer here it is that it is my conclusion that the purpose in life is to learn to be kinder and always more patient with people. You have been incredibly kind and patient, certainly far more than me, and far more than the average bear, too, so I have to say that you are doing very well on that score so far. Good on you.
posted by y2karl at 5:39 AM on April 29, 2009 [1 favorite]
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posted by AwkwardPause at 9:36 AM on April 26, 2009