A Chance for a Brand New Day January 13, 2010 9:00 PM   Subscribe

So how do the mods feel about the user base, really?

I'm very interested in how the moderators see user base from atop their lofty perch at MetaFilter Towers.

Do you love us, or hate us? Do we shit you or do we constantly surprise you (in good ways) with what we do? Do you, as the moderators, feel protective of us if someone from outside The Hive hurts us? Do we make your job better or worse? And other than stopping ourselves from posting inane MeTa threads like this, what can we do to make your lives easier?
posted by Effigy2000 to Etiquette/Policy at 9:00 PM (159 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

I love each and every one of you, unconditionally. Sit in a quiet dark room, close your eyes, focus. Can you feel that? It is my love beaming into you.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:01 PM on January 13, 2010 [22 favorites]


They love everyone but meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
posted by Avenger at 9:03 PM on January 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


This is kind of weird.
posted by Bookhouse at 9:05 PM on January 13, 2010 [23 favorites]


I can't believe anybody wants to make a movie out of the A-Team.
posted by boo_radley at 9:07 PM on January 13, 2010 [3 favorites]


Without the user base providing content (FPPs, limks, and comments) there'd be no Metafilter, no page ads, and no moderator jobs.
posted by orthogonality at 9:10 PM on January 13, 2010


I wish there were more users providing more limks. Those things are tasty.
posted by Caduceus at 9:12 PM on January 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


That's a really big set of questions; the userbase is pretty huge, and nothing ever reduces cleanly to generalities, really.

I know there's some unavoidable aspects of separation with us being mods, but frankly I don't see much of a Metafilter Towers in how I spend time at the site. Maybe more of an Employees Only backroom at the bar we're all hanging out at anyway—I was a user first and am a user still whenever I can manage it—whenever something administrative doesn't need doing, basically.

I wouldn't have stuck around here as a user in the first place if I didn't like the people that make up the metafilter community. I wouldn't have taken the job back in 2007 if I didn't love that community enough to put myself in the line of the sometimes starkly negative feedback folks here can produce at times and that I had seen Matt and Jess deal with over the years up until that offer came.

I'm surprised every day by one thing or another. The size and heterogeneity of the metafilter community means there's always a new-to-me detail in how someone or other writes or thinks or manages their personal approach to the site and other users, always little idiosyncrasies waiting to pop out in a conversation. And the collective breadth and depth of life experience and vocational and avocational insight is just tremendous to have access to and be a part of.

You guys make our job exist. Making that job better or worse is more a matter of specific local events; there's all kinds of different things that folks can do to make our days a little bit worse, but that's mostly a matter of individual bad behavior (some of it willful, some of it accidental, most of it not really malicious in intent in any case), but that's part of what the job entails. This is a site full of humans acting like humans, and humans aren't great at being perfect or perfectly considerate or otherwise convenient, and we go in expecting that and being thankful that it's not worse than it could be (and is, in fact, a whole damned lot better than it might be elsewhere).

Metafilter is a wonderful place. I'm lucky as hell that I work here.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:18 PM on January 13, 2010 [26 favorites]


On this episode of "Not Completely Thought Out" we discuss a letter from a person trying to describe 100,000+ completely different people with a single adjective.
posted by pwally at 9:23 PM on January 13, 2010 [13 favorites]


I hate you all, you bunch of n00bz.
posted by deborah at 9:25 PM on January 13, 2010


Oops, wrong forum.
posted by deborah at 9:26 PM on January 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


Some days, the mods and I will make eye contact, and it seems like something is there--perhaps the shared longing I sometimes allow myself to dream about as I'm falling asleep--alone--each night. I resolve to say something, to declare my love, the very next day...but when I get back to metafilter, the mods are flirting with Drew Curtis.
posted by maxwelton at 9:26 PM on January 13, 2010 [3 favorites]


If only Matt would notice me....
posted by parmanparman at 9:27 PM on January 13, 2010


Guess there is no place for a nice guy in the mods's heart. Yeah, sure, feel free to call me, sobbing, with stories of crappy FPPs and chatfiltery ask questions. I'll be there for you. Maybe one day you'll wake up.

In the meantime, fedoras and creepy romcom-inspired stalking!
posted by maxwelton at 9:31 PM on January 13, 2010


This is why opiates need tighter controls.
posted by The Deej at 9:34 PM on January 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
posted by stavrogin at 9:39 PM on January 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


God I hate that fedora kid. He gave a bad name to fedora wearers everywhere. Someday I will track him down and deal with him in the proscribed manner.
posted by Caduceus at 9:40 PM on January 13, 2010


Someday I will track him down and deal with him in the proscribed manner.

Heh. Inadvertently accurate typos are the best.
posted by jedicus at 9:52 PM on January 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oops. But yeah, that worked out well.
posted by Caduceus at 9:54 PM on January 13, 2010


I just want to give that fedora kid a banjo to play...
posted by greekphilosophy at 9:55 PM on January 13, 2010 [7 favorites]


Sometimes I dream that I am a MetaFilter Moderator, but the dreams always end one of three ways.... (1) I am lynched and strung up by an angry mob, (2) I hang myself, (3) the Internet collapses upon itself leaving me alone in the void, hanging by my neck. I get a lot of sore throats.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:08 PM on January 13, 2010


I think I had a dream about MeFi once... either I was banned or I posted a question... I can't remember. xD
posted by biochemist at 10:15 PM on January 13, 2010


Of course, I love the userbase or there'd be no reason to keep the site around. Once in a while a person or two goes off the rails and we still have the steady stream of SEO spammy types coming in and getting kicked out, but otherwise it's great.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:17 PM on January 13, 2010 [5 favorites]


what can we do to make your lives easier?

When you get up to leave the joint, bus your tray. It's a real dick move to leave a disgusting pile of beans and used napkins all strewn about. Also, figure out your damn order while standing in line and be ready when it's your turn, and for fuck's sake don't talk to people on your phone in the dining area.
posted by Rhomboid at 10:18 PM on January 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


You know this is their job, right? It might be a pretty kick ass job as cortex says...but its his job.

Your favorite pizza place...you like it way better than the guy who makes the pizza.


I'm still not sure you quite get this place.
posted by Caduceus at 10:28 PM on January 13, 2010


What's your post title all about? I don't quite get it.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:30 PM on January 13, 2010


*baits complement hook*
posted by brundlefly at 10:50 PM on January 13, 2010


The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect, over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked; his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times so abominable in his eyes as the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours. You have offended.
posted by LarryC at 11:04 PM on January 13, 2010 [6 favorites]


Awkward!
posted by amyms at 11:27 PM on January 13, 2010


The title of this post should be "how does everybody feel about Effigy2000 when he's drunk?"
posted by nanojath at 11:31 PM on January 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


I love me some Jonathan Edwards.
posted by bardic at 11:41 PM on January 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


Effigy2000's profile

This account is disabled.
posted by felix betachat at 12:00 AM on January 14, 2010


No, no, he has a point: without us, their job would be much, much easier.

But then, nobody would come to the site, and so no money would be made, and nobody would get paid.

So who cares if they like us? They need us.

I do believe this gives us some additional pony leverage, if we all get coordinated somehow...
posted by davejay at 12:14 AM on January 14, 2010


Of all the mods, I've only ever met Jessamyn in person, and that was at the 10-year party last July. I was surprised that she's shorter than me by a little bit. She is gracious and lovely and fun in person, and I trust her decisions without question. She was tired and not used to the crowd and still has this unnameable thing that makes you think, "That's a good person."

I realize I'm sounding like a fangirl. And I kind of am a fangirl, except that I'm also about her age and have children and a household in which I'm the disciplinarian, so I can kind of relate. My household only has 4 people. Jessamyn's household here contains thousands.

As a loving but stern mother, I can kind of relate to the position she's in as the only female mod. My kids are about to be teenagers, and sometimes MeFi seems like a having a shit ton of teenagers when looking from a non-mod perspective.

Asking a mom how she feels about her kids can vary by the second. Especially when they bring home straight A's, so you take them to their favorite Chinese buffet for a celebration dinner, and then you have to remind them to not put their elbows on the table or talk with their mouths full (true story, Monday night). The only reason I didn't have to remind my kids in the booth to not poke each other was that each sat next to a parent. They were still flicking stuff across the table (and then me telling them to knock that off!), and the car ride home was basically an excruciating round of "he/she is touching me!".

The mods must care about us as a group at least a little, or they wouldn't put up with the job or they would let the site turn to crap. Parts of their job must suck, but hopefully, if we're good participants and polite people, that's less likely.

I've been working with university students for 6.5 years in a computer lab. I have every day grumps and happy times. I get students telling me how the printing is messed up when they can't get their prints after following simple directions, but then I get to be someone's angel at least once a day and solve interesting problems as a bonus. It's a pretty good trade-off.

The mods sure aren't turning MeFi into a nanny-state. They enforce the clearly-stated and very fair rules as best as they can. They sure don't whip out the banhammer every day, and I hope something gives them a grin regularly.

Thanks to all of the mods. I hope you have more happy than grumpy moments when doing your job here. (I'm admittedly schmoopy because it's the first week of classes and the lab SUCKS and is AWESOME alternatingly.)

On preview, Effigy 2000's profile isn't disabled. Please don't scare me like that.
posted by lilywing13 at 12:30 AM on January 14, 2010 [6 favorites]


I can't believe anybody wants to make a movie out of the A-Team.

Yeah, well I can't believe they're redoing Karate Kid Wellll, I can believe they would redo it, it's just that I can't believe they're calling the movie that. I mean it's...they're isn't...it's not Karate. What gets me is the tinge of racism by calling it that. No doubt they want to cash in on the original, but it just seems like someone at some point kind of thought "Awww f*ck it, all those people look the same doing that chop socky stuff. I don't care that it's not Karate, nobody in it is Japanese or there is nothing Japanese associated with it."
posted by P.o.B. at 12:31 AM on January 14, 2010 [6 favorites]


It's nice that Mathowie and Cortex dropped in and replied to your question pretty quickly and all, but, why don't they say what they really feel?
posted by Elmore at 12:36 AM on January 14, 2010


Metafilter: Do we shit you?
posted by Juicy Avenger at 12:53 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


"I do believe this gives us some additional pony leverage, if we all get coordinated somehow..."

Are you suggesting we unionize and strike for ponies? :)
posted by Jacqueline at 12:57 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I have eaten
the complements
that were in
the moderators

and which
you were probably
saving
for other users

Forgive me
they were amazing
so sincere
and so specific
posted by smoke at 1:05 AM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


On this episode of "Not Completely Thought Out" we discuss a letter from a person trying to describe 100,000+ completely different people with a single adjective.

Snarky
posted by pupdog at 2:14 AM on January 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


Forget A-Team. I'm shopping around a treatment for a TJ Hooker adaptation starring Chris Pine.
posted by EatTheWeek at 2:23 AM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


No One Loves Me And Neither Do I
posted by slimepuppy at 2:26 AM on January 14, 2010


does Superman wear blue tights
and keep away from kryptonite
do old ladies get mugged at night
are we the business

Do workers want a living wage
do rock stars lie about their age
would a tiger run from an open cage
are we the business

are we the fuck off business
is my name, ahem, MuffinMan
is strangeways full of prisoners
am I over twenty-one

are the royal family really rich
is scooby-do one son-of-a bitch
is wembley stadium a football pitch
are we the business

did Noriega knock out coke
did Bob Marley like the odd smoke
was Jesus Christ a decent bloke
are we the business

did Oliver Reed ever get pissed
can Chubby Checker do the twist
was Karl Marx a communist
are we the business

was James Dean a cool cat
was Kennedy a democrat
do Hacedic men wear hats
are we the business

will narcotics get you hooked
did Dostoyevsky write the odd book
was Al Capone a bit of a crook
are we the business

did Buddy Holly wear horn-rimmed specs
was czechoslovakia full of czechs
did Sigmund Freud consider sex
are we the business

did Elvis ever rock 'n roll
did James Brown have any soul
will you touch us with a ten-foot barge pole
are we the business

With apologies to John Cooper Clarke
posted by MuffinMan at 2:38 AM on January 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


Like someone grinding out the end of a double shift at a burger bar, I doubt they see the customers as humans at all, just vague blurs with relentless, unceasing demands.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 3:12 AM on January 14, 2010


Am I honestly the only one who read "Metafilter Towers" and pictured mathowie being played by John Cleese?

"I don't what it is about this place - some of the people we get in here..."
posted by koeselitz at 3:14 AM on January 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


So, which one of us is your favorite?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:21 AM on January 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


... and which of your spouses is your favorite, Brandon?
posted by lukemeister at 3:33 AM on January 14, 2010


Oh that's so easy, it's not even a real question.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:47 AM on January 14, 2010


With their hands.
posted by Eideteker at 4:04 AM on January 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


The mods always liked you best. They gave you a pony and all I got was this stupid chicken named Frank.
posted by TedW at 4:31 AM on January 14, 2010


Metafilter: Like someone grinding out the end of a double shift at a burger bar
posted by fourcheesemac at 4:34 AM on January 14, 2010


I'm pretty sure we are basically like a giant den of chattering prairie dogs, and the mods are the Dian Fossey of the prairie dog scene, but since there are so many of us, and we are so indistinguishable from each other, they can never get farther with any of us individually than, "there's another one with mange".

It's hard to take, but that's life as a prairie dog.

Maybe plankton or krill is closer.
posted by dirtdirt at 4:40 AM on January 14, 2010 [6 favorites]


Am I honestly the only one who read "Metafilter Towers" and pictured mathowie being played by John Cleese?

I was thinking more of an upper middle class condo, within the gated community of Howie Heights.

Also, yeah, this question is weird. "Everyone needs a hug" indeed.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 5:12 AM on January 14, 2010


Sit in a quiet dark room, close your eyes, focus. Can you feel that? It is my love beaming into you.

Why is it when I read this I get this image of an abusive, manuipulative boyfriend telling this to his girlfriend who has just moved out in order to get her to move back in?
posted by Pollomacho at 5:14 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I guess you all haven't gotten the memo yet:

Out for 2010: Fedoras, 80's nostalgia

In for 2010: Jaunty pantaloons, 20s nostalgia

Now you know.
posted by Ufez Jones at 5:20 AM on January 14, 2010


Metafilter and those who make it possible are wonderful--No question. But the sycophantic fawning over mods by some as can often be seen here is, to me, an embarrassing distraction.
posted by applemeat at 5:25 AM on January 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


Do we shit you?
posted by The Straightener at 5:28 AM on January 14, 2010


In for 2010: Jaunty pantaloons
Hot DAMN!
posted by From Bklyn at 5:41 AM on January 14, 2010


Ufez Jones: “Out for 2010: Fedoras... In for 2010: Jaunty pantaloons...”

Sign that I'm a silly geek, #243: when I read this, the first thing I think is that you're migrating Linux platforms, and 'Jaunty Pantaloons' is some hybrid of the last version of Ubuntu.

#242 was the fact that my last comment was a reference to Fawlty Towers.
posted by koeselitz at 5:55 AM on January 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


Matt told me I was acting like a jerk once, so clearly we have a blood oath of vengeance against each other now.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 6:31 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


koeselitz: "Ufez Jones: “Out for 2010: Fedoras... In for 2010: Jaunty pantaloons...”

Sign that I'm a silly geek, #243: when I read this, the first thing I think is that you're migrating Linux platforms, and 'Jaunty Pantaloons' is some hybrid of the last version of Ubuntu.

#242 was the fact that my last comment was a reference to Fawlty Towers."

That is exactly what I thought, too. I looked at twice and thought "aren't we on karmic now?"

posted by double block and bleed at 6:43 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


This post is clearly just an attempt to lure the secret true mods talked of in the Book of Oolong. Well played sir, well played.
posted by drezdn at 6:46 AM on January 14, 2010


This is the weirdest thread I've read on here. Today.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:48 AM on January 14, 2010


Oh hey look at what showed up when I was asleep!

Just like cortex, I feel like a user first [especially in AskMe] and then a mod sort of secondary. I don't think any of us feel that this is "just a job" in any sense, more like we're happy that we've been given the responsibility to help keep the place we love to hang out awesome.

I'm still waking up, so this may be a little disjointed, but my feeling about online stuff generally and MeFi in specific, is that if there's no IRL-conversion option, to hell with it. MeFi has a high IRL conversion rate, meaning there are options to meet people, swap postcards, learn about new music, stay places, eat food with people, get information I can bring back to my real life, meet library colleagues & get cool library tours, etc. So that's why I like being here in the first place, and being here to watch it grow and suggest ways to improve the way it works makes me happy. My life is richer for having been here all these years.

That said, it's all encompassing. It's hard sometimes to be offline for a day or two and feel like things are going on without you, either that neat stuff is happening, or bad things are happening that need attention and care. So, there's a tethering aspect to it that does sort of make me different from my other smalltown friends. In wintertime it can be tough to remember to go outside, but AskMe suggested some snowshoes for me and I've mostly licked that.

As people probably know, I also have a few other little jobs. I travel and talk about library technology a lot, and I teach "email to old people" in my small town and do a few hours of IT work at the local high school. I've been able to keep at these jobs and do other miscellaneous stuff for low/no pay because I'm well paid and looked after here on MetaFilter. This is a very important part of how my life fits together. MetaFilter helps me help rural libraries and tiny town technology.

And as for people specifically, I've always been somewhat shy and confused by people but I'm a quick study. Meeting lots of people [first on MeFi and especially after moving over to AskMe] has helped me in a lot of ways relate to the real life people I also interact with. I know a ton more "types" of people who open up and talk about how they feel about things [Ask vs Guess culture, a lot of the talks about gender roles, how anxiety and depression feel from the inside, other people with terrible parents] and that all goes into the big databank in my brain and helps me stay alive. Hopefully I can do this for other people in AskMe as well.

So, as to your questions.

> Do you love us, or hate us?

I pretty much love everyone who hasn't specifically made my life difficult in some I-can't-sleep unmanageable way, my co-workers especially.

> Do we shit you or do we constantly surprise you (in good ways) with what we do?

I do not know what "do we shit you" means. Is it Australian?

> Do you, as the moderators, feel protective of us if someone from outside The Hive hurts us?

Yes! It's so weird. I had a boyfriend a long time ago who was a sort of sensitive type, nice guy. We were talking about MetaFilter [a place I believe he introduced me to] and I was just ramping up to working here. And he would say "but those people are such assholes!" and I realized we had a difference of opinion that was probably fairly important.

> Do we make your job better or worse?

You make my job, period. Obviously, sometimes cortex and I vent a little over chat or email "Oh man THIS SHIT AGAIN" but most of the time things are awesome and mathowie could pay me in gift cards and I'd still come to work every day. Stockholm Syndrome maybe, but I like it here.

> And other than stopping ourselves from posting inane MeTa threads like this, what can we do to make your lives easier?

Proofreading! Really though, the more people are kind to each other, the happier I am and the easier my job goes. I know there's a pollyanna aspect to this that is unrealistic but realizing that gratuitously nasty behavior has a ripple effect that creates unease and maybe reigning it in some. I'd also like fewer people to be afraid of interacting here [see previous point] to make FPPs and ask questions, so I've endeavored to try to be encouraging, be a good example, chime in early in posts that could maybe go either way, that sort of thing. The more people that do that, good I think.

But really, not to be all "don't mind me, I'll sit in the dark" about this, but we're here to make your lives easier. As Elsa said, and I linked to in the awesome "what are your favorite comments" thread: I have made some good friends in this place.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:52 AM on January 14, 2010 [13 favorites]


Sometimes I wonder if any one here ever notices me. Other times, I wonder if I come off really obnoxious.

I just hope it's not the latter.
posted by yeti at 6:53 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


They probably call us "the aggravators" behind our backs. As in, "The aggravators are getting restless in the Cher thread."

Hoppitymoppities?
posted by anniecat at 7:04 AM on January 14, 2010


There's a user base? Where is it? Is it undersea, or inside a volcano? I'm a user, can I visit?
posted by WPW at 7:04 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


how come there is a user base but no user union? I want a raise!
posted by krautland at 7:12 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


mathowie being played by John Cleese

"I should never have let you write that advert, fancy putting 'No Riff-Raff'...."
posted by gimonca at 7:29 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


MODS WHY DONT U ANSWER MY LETTRES
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:37 AM on January 14, 2010


Murderous Hoppitymoppets.

This is just to say
I accidentally the whole thing
posted by Babblesort at 7:38 AM on January 14, 2010


Followup question: To whom are belong all your user base?
posted by found missing at 7:39 AM on January 14, 2010


There's a Cher thread?!? LINK PLEEZE!!1!
posted by slogger at 7:51 AM on January 14, 2010


I do wonder how much time the mods devote to silencing people ALL THIER LIFES!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 7:55 AM on January 14, 2010


Okay, so cotex and jessamyn don't really like us. Who's next.
posted by rtimmel at 8:01 AM on January 14, 2010


Metafilter and those who make it possible are wonderful--No question. But the sycophantic fawning over mods by some as can often be seen here is, to me, an embarrassing distraction.

Personally, I wouldn't characterize it as fawning. Sincere expressions of appreciation, perhaps? I think it's nice that their efforts are being acknowledged.

The mods do a hard job and put up with a lot of complaints so the average user can enjoy this place in peace. Most other sites this size handle moderation pretty poorly, if they manage to do it at all. They'll either go too far at censoring their users, or take such a light touch that the chaos often drowns out the conversation. It's also nice to have mods that think of themselves as part of the community, and not our parents. As much as I enjoy reading Making Light, for example, "disemvowelling" is such a condescending and childish tactic that it makes my teeth ache.
posted by zarq at 8:13 AM on January 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


Can you feel that? It is my love beaming into you.

I feel... nothing!

Has my permaban not expired, then?
posted by flabdablet at 8:15 AM on January 14, 2010



I do not know what "do we shit you" means. Is it Australian?


I guess so. Huh. The gist is "do we greatly irritate you". For an extended example of usage, see You Shit Me To Tears, Jase The Ace et al, 1999.
posted by zamboni at 8:22 AM on January 14, 2010


yeti: Sometimes I wonder if any one here ever notices me. Other times, I wonder if I come off really obnoxious.

I read your comment, and then noticed that your profile link was showing up as previously clicked. So I definitely noticed you at some point previous to that comment. Whether or not it was for obnoxiousness, I can't say.

I have similar wonderings sometimes. I think it's because I spend a lot of time reading the site compared to the frequency of my comments. It's sort of weird knowing all these "characters" without them knowing me.
posted by chndrcks at 8:30 AM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


applemeat: But the sycophantic fawning over mods by some as can often be seen here is, to me, an embarrassing distraction.

The mod fawning is nothing compared to the Metafilter's-Own-Celebrity fawning.
posted by chndrcks at 8:37 AM on January 14, 2010


The gist is "do we greatly irritate you".

Ah. We have this US expression "I am not shitting you." meaning more or less "I am not making this up/prevaricating" so that was my frame of reference.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:40 AM on January 14, 2010


Ah. We have this US expression

It's not just a US expression. I'm sure at some point a Shakespearean character must say "I shit ye not, sirrah."
posted by MuffinMan at 8:43 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Do we make your job better or worse?

Why do my employees never as me this?

Is it the antipersonnel landmines I set up just outside my door? It never occurred to me that might be taken the wrong way.
posted by quin at 8:43 AM on January 14, 2010


It's been a while since I saw The Karate Kid, but I seem to recall there was something in there about Okinawa.
posted by box at 8:48 AM on January 14, 2010


Yes, they really love you for yourself but no, you cannot have your $5 back.
posted by Phanx at 8:51 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's not just a US expression. I'm sure at some point a Shakespearean character must say "I shit ye not, sirrah."

Interestingly, the OED only has cites back to the early 20th C., earliest being a quote from Tropic of Cancer. (They have the word "shit" as excrement going back much, much farther, natch.) Not that that pegs the usage as starting with Henry Miller at all, certainly, but it may not be all that old after all and could thus plausibly be American in origin indeed even if it has become common in other English-speaking regions as well.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:56 AM on January 14, 2010


And what they have for "bullshit" in both verb and noun form is contemporary to that, as well.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:00 AM on January 14, 2010


In for 2010: Jaunty pantaloons, 20s nostalgia

Fucking FINALLY. What ho? Onward Old Bean!
posted by The Whelk at 9:07 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've decided to post a picture of myself making a weird face. How do you feel about that?
posted by The Whelk at 9:10 AM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


Did I shit ya? I didn't mean to shit ya.
posted by Mister_A at 9:30 AM on January 14, 2010


/shits self
posted by Mister_A at 9:30 AM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


And what they have for "bullshit" in both verb and noun form is contemporary to that, as well.

Though "bull" as a verb is very much older, and possibly the forerunner of "bullshit", which in turn the parent of the verbed "shit". Interessant.
posted by Sova at 9:32 AM on January 14, 2010


Sometimes I can't tell whether someone is giving me the straight dope or shitting me and that shit just shits the shit outta me.
posted by Mister_A at 9:36 AM on January 14, 2010


Hadaway and shite!
posted by Abiezer at 9:37 AM on January 14, 2010


And just for the record, I love Effigy2000 far beyond what might be deemed appropriate.
posted by Mister_A at 9:40 AM on January 14, 2010


But I wanted to come in and shit him a little, you know?
posted by Mister_A at 9:40 AM on January 14, 2010


Out for 2010: Fedoras, 80's nostalgia

In for 2010: Jaunty pantaloons, 20s nostalgia


Dude, that doesn't even make sense. You know what people wore on their heads in the 20s? Fucking fedoras.
posted by Caduceus at 9:45 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've decided to post a picture of myself making a weird face. How do you feel about that?

I feel like you're an exceptionally sharp looking guy with excellent taste in accessories.
posted by Caduceus at 9:55 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


2010 is actually an episode of Sliders in an alternate 1920s where the fedora was never invented!
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:56 AM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


It's 2010, where the fuck is our physically impossible, but allowing that maybe it could happen somehow, inevitably catastrophic mini-sun?

Got me a hoverboard though. Actually it's a 2 x 4 and a big bag of weed, but hey!
posted by Mister_A at 10:03 AM on January 14, 2010


Well I like the That Guy archetype represented by Greg Nog.
posted by Mister_A at 10:09 AM on January 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


Hey there, Noggy boy!
Who's looking so dapper and fancy-free?
Who's got RAW on his shelf,
and some 20-sided die up his sleeve?
Who likes the comics
and many kinds of robotics and throws his Fedora to the sky?

Why! It's That Guy!
posted by The Whelk at 10:17 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Attention mods: a banjo wouldn't creep me out. It would have to be a nice one, though - I already have a cheap Deering.
posted by ctmf at 10:18 AM on January 14, 2010


cortex, does Matt pay for you guys to have a subscription to the OED, or is that something you do on your own? Either way, I'm jealous.
posted by Caduceus at 10:21 AM on January 14, 2010


Sometimes I can't tell whether someone is giving me the straight dope or shitting me and that shit just shits the shit outta me.

Fuck!
posted by Pollomacho at 10:24 AM on January 14, 2010


cortex, does Matt pay for you guys to have a subscription to the OED, or is that something you do on your own? Either way, I'm jealous.

I have OED access thanks to my free membership with the Multnomah County Library. And that's pretty good news for you, eh?
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:27 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I think the point to this post was to ask for a Brand New Day for MetaFilter. The site will have to change its name to something else and pretend that Metafilter never existed. The rest of the internet will be all like, "Whoa, what's this new site? Its a lot like MetaFilter but MetaFilter ceased to exist so it can't be them. What an awesome newcomer!" And then, like, we'll be all like, "Dude, we're a new site and we're awesome. Fuck Sara Palin!" And then LGF will be all like, "Dude, you are so actually Metafilter with a different name. We still hate you!" And then everyone will get into a big shouty fight thread on 4chan and Jessamyn and Cortex and Mathowie will cry.
posted by cimbrog at 10:31 AM on January 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


I'm very confused as to who's shitting who now. And if Han shat first.
posted by ob at 10:56 AM on January 14, 2010


That is good news. I know what my task is next time I'm downtown.
posted by Caduceus at 10:58 AM on January 14, 2010


> But the sycophantic fawning over mods by some as can often be seen here is, to me, an embarrassing distraction.

In the first place, that's a shitty, insulting thing to say. But ignoring that: there would be a lot less of what you uncharitably characterize as "fawning" if there were a lot less asshats saying pointlessly aggressive things about the mods, for example that their failure to delete some comment the asshat doesn't like means they're racist/sexist bigots and oppressors. Every time I read shit like that, I try to say something nice about them to balance it out, and I suspect a lot of other people do too.
posted by languagehat at 11:06 AM on January 14, 2010 [5 favorites]


Fucking fedoras!

Oh, dear. There seems to have been a misunderstanding. I wasn't talking about the 1920s, rather the actual 20s. As in years 20-29 A.D.

With pantaloons.
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:10 AM on January 14, 2010


yeti: Sometimes I wonder if any one here ever notices me. Other times, I wonder if I come off really obnoxious.

I just hope it's not the latter.


That is exactly the same thought I had earlier today.
Mind meld much?
posted by Drasher at 11:17 AM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I don' t pretend to know how the Mods feel about us, but I can pretty much guess, having been on the receiving end of kindnesses from all three of the US-based Mods. (I'm trying not to leave vacapinta out :)

So I can fairly say that I love and appreciate them, and have endeavored to show it in my own small ways.

I hope that doesn't come off as sycophantic, but that's the way it is. We don't spend enough of our time thanking people who do things for us, and Metafilter is a fairly large part of some of our lives- and it's a part I appreciate more and more each day.

Shmoopy.
posted by pjern at 11:40 AM on January 14, 2010


I just can't understand what they have against my AskMe text performance art. I don't think a single piece has survived. Philistines.
posted by Abiezer at 11:43 AM on January 14, 2010


I'm very confused as to who's shitting who now. And if Han shat first.

Of course he did. He dumped his load at the first sign of an imperial cruiser.
posted by bondcliff at 12:00 PM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


does Matt pay for you guys to have a subscription to the OED, or is that something you do on your own?

I'm pretty sure there's not a library database I can't access somehow.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:06 PM on January 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


lol he said "load".
posted by Mister_A at 12:08 PM on January 14, 2010


In the first place, that's a shitty, insulting thing to say. But ignoring that: there would be a lot less of what you uncharitably characterize as "fawning" if there were a lot less asshats saying pointlessly aggressive things about the mods...

Referencing just half of my comment, though with typical bombast. Most of us respect the mods very much and do not display toward them the behavior you describe.
posted by applemeat at 12:13 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I met Cortex. He told me no one likes you.
posted by electroboy at 12:50 PM on January 14, 2010


Time for another round of Hey, Thanks Metafilter!

I was able to write (and later read from) this story because I asked this question in Ask Metafilter.

Hey, Thanks Metafilter!
posted by The Whelk at 1:09 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


How does eyeballkid feel about the userbase?
posted by Mid at 1:19 PM on January 14, 2010


I wouldn't shit you, you're my favorite turd.
posted by fixedgear at 1:22 PM on January 14, 2010


According to this post I now owe The Whelk 40 lira.
posted by Mister_A at 1:34 PM on January 14, 2010


I only accept payment in the form of unicorns .
posted by The Whelk at 1:41 PM on January 14, 2010


Are you shitting me?
posted by Mister_A at 1:50 PM on January 14, 2010


Unicorns that shit lira.
posted by The Whelk at 1:53 PM on January 14, 2010


Indirectly--The unicorns shit rainbows, the pot of gold can be converted to Euros.
posted by applemeat at 2:01 PM on January 14, 2010


Given the relative value of the lira (at least when lira still existed), the unicorns could also use it as toilet paper.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:01 PM on January 14, 2010


(Well, unless we're talking Turkish lira, which still exist, and are coins, not paper, which makes for some ouchy wiping).
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:02 PM on January 14, 2010


So then the third hunter who had no toilet paper came out of the woods yelling and swearing, his hands all covered with shit, and the other two hunters asked him "Why didn't you just use a dollar to wipe with, like we did?" and the third hunter said "I did! Three quarters, two dimes and a nickel!"
posted by applemeat at 2:18 PM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


Cortex is lying about how he feels. Once I stumbled upon him, sprawled on the ground, soaked in cold urine, muttering nonsense in a malarial fever. He was clutching a book in his hands. Upon it he had scribbled: Exterminate the brutes!
posted by spaltavian at 2:21 PM on January 14, 2010


I got an email once where cortex raised his voice at me and on that very day I gave up all my worldly possessions and vowed to roam the land with nothing but a laptop and some beans in a brown paper bag with straps, offering PC tuneups to vagrants. That's basically just me running ccleaner and turning off the print spooler service because lol, as if a vagrant has access to a printer. You'd be amazed at some of the old versions of MS Works I come across though, and sometimes their desktop picture is the only one they have of their long-lost family, which is sweet at first but after a while I'm like, guy, that's taking up about 10MB of video memory. So I delete it. They're angry at first but as they say, wine heals all wounds. Or is that time? No matter, I have to defrag this bag lady's Amdahl. You're damn right she needs that shopping cart!
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:35 PM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


Fedoras, banjos, d12s
That Guy
80s, pinstripes, backrubs...
He's That Guy
He's ever so creepy...
He's everything that every girl should flee!

Labels, Soft porn, Pabst blue,
That Guy
Frock coat, Gel stains, Bow tie...
He's That Guy
Leave well alone, unluckily for you...
If you find a guy to love,
Only one guy to love,
He'll try to be That Guy too...
That Guy!
posted by Sparx at 2:38 PM on January 14, 2010


I want to know how vacapinta feels about us!
posted by subbes at 3:04 PM on January 14, 2010


The mods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Unenspouses someone dear

posted by The Whelk at 3:14 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


> Referencing just half of my comment, though with typical bombast. Most of us respect the mods very much and do not display toward them the behavior you describe.

I quoted (not "referenced") the half I had a problem with. And don't give me any "most of us" crap; I'm pretty sure you're in a small minority. Speak for yourself.
posted by languagehat at 3:37 PM on January 14, 2010


Please validate me. Please tell me that I'm the wittest, smartest man on the site.

Oh, best-looking, too. Don't forget that.

Please tell me that you talk about me all the time, that you chuckle at my MetaTalk comments and say "Oh, that jason's_planet! There he goes again!"

Please tell me that I'm still a star, that it's still 2007 and that I'm cranking out at least one awesome post a week.

I'M NOT A HASBEEN, GODDAMNIT! I MATTER! I FUCKING MATTER!

I! AM! JASON'S! PLANET!
posted by jason's_planet at 3:39 PM on January 14, 2010


I'M STILL BIG! IT'S THE FILTERS THAT GOT SMALL.
posted by The Whelk at 3:43 PM on January 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


Speak for yourself.

So you don't respect the mods, languagehat?
posted by Crabby Appleton at 4:04 PM on January 14, 2010


Damn, this is gonna get good and I have company coming over. Merde.
posted by fixedgear at 4:16 PM on January 14, 2010


I'M STILL BIG! IT'S THE FILTERS THAT GOT SMALL.

YOU TALK A BIG GAME, MR. CAP SLOCK. BUT CAN YOUR KEYBOARD KEEP WRITING CHECKS YOUR FINGERS CAN'T CASH?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:34 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Exterminate the brutes!

spaltavian, I must have come by just after you did. When I arrived, cortex was still clutching the musty tome, but by the dawn's early light I didst discern the full title of the [olde-tyme synonym for booke]:

The Solution to the Fark Problem: Exterminate the Brutes!
A Treatise on Protecting My Beloved Userbase from the Indignity of Knowing that Someone is Not Taking Things Very Seriously

By Cortex M. Filter, Esq.

Dun-Dun-Duuuuunh!
posted by Mister_A at 5:12 PM on January 14, 2010


I! AM! JASON'S! PLANET!

And with that, the Persian messenger was kicked into the bottomless pit.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:50 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


So you don't respect the mods, languagehat?

Somebody's ♫ Trolling!
posted by zarq at 7:31 PM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


Isn't it past your bed-time?
posted by Crabby Appleton at 7:48 PM on January 14, 2010


ya know, there should have only been about 4 or 5 answers to this question...WTF are the rest of you responding for..

/thread closed...
posted by HuronBob at 7:48 PM on January 14, 2010


First one to make a post about feminist vegans who take photos of cats and love Sarah Palin wins!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:04 PM on January 14, 2010


Effigy2000, I'm pb's favorite. Sorry you had to hear it like this. Maybe you should have thought before you opened this whole plate of beans. Of course, it's too late to put the genie back in Pandora's box now.

It's not you, not really. it's just never been the same since the whole Velociraptor Roulette incident.
posted by misha at 8:06 PM on January 14, 2010


Someone's been overthinking a pack of mods.
posted by NikitaNikita at 8:09 PM on January 14, 2010


nothing ever reduces cleanly to generalities, really

I laughed.
posted by tarheelcoxn at 8:31 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Isn't it past your bed-time?

Buddy, I have insomniac toddlers. I don't sleep anymore.

And even they could tell you were trolling.
posted by zarq at 8:32 PM on January 14, 2010


I think the post title is a Spider-man reference. The question is, in this complex metaphor, who is the soon-to-be-no-longer wife, who spider-man, who mephisto, who the unborn child and who is aunt may?

These may seem to be frivolous questions but I assure you they are not.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:37 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


User BASE! How low can you go!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:44 AM on January 15, 2010 [4 favorites]


I thought this thread was a reaction to this for a second, then I realized the date was off. That was the first post that made me go "oh-shit-I-wonder-what-the-mods-think-of-me." xD
posted by biochemist at 6:11 PM on January 15, 2010


SLBOE - what a brother know?
posted by koeselitz at 9:19 PM on January 15, 2010


Once again back it's the inedible, dump-already-ble.
posted by box at 6:04 AM on January 16, 2010


is this the beginning of another giga_thread?
posted by infini at 10:07 AM on January 16, 2010


GIGATHREAD TRANSFORM!
posted by The Whelk at 10:38 AM on January 16, 2010


D!
posted by box at 12:19 PM on January 16, 2010


This site captures a lot of my attention, but I don't owe it any attention. Individual user's names float into my awareness like the answers in a magic eight ball, then submerge again. If I meet a user in real life, we're more likely than not to become pleasant acquaintances, but quite some several have amazed me by proving to be reliable and just plain good solid friends. From that point onward their user names in print acquire a permanently glowing surround.
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:08 PM on January 16, 2010


« Older Cable Car driver   |   48: Sitting or Standing Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments