hamburger. hamburger! hamburger. [hamburger] i'm confused. February 2, 2010 6:20 AM   Subscribe

what is "hamburger" and why is it bad? i used to think i knew but i would like clarification.
posted by Hammond Rye to Etiquette/Policy at 6:20 AM (175 comments total)

it's not bad.
it's just a way to point out say you're being sarcastic.
posted by bitteroldman at 6:24 AM on February 2, 2010


Hamburger actually contains no ham, which is sliced up pig. Instead it is made of up ground up cows, often topped with cheese made of the cow's milk before they are ground up and put on a bun before you. We're really kind of disgusting animals really. /hamburger
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 6:24 AM on February 2, 2010


Hammond Rye is just jealous.
posted by gman at 6:25 AM on February 2, 2010


It's used to denote sarcasm.
posted by moviehawk at 6:25 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


{/}
posted by Eideteker at 6:25 AM on February 2, 2010 [4 favorites]


*reverse hamburger*

Also, I propose we refer to people who don't get, enjoy, or condone HAMBURGER as "vegetarians."
posted by Eideteker at 6:27 AM on February 2, 2010 [7 favorites]


It's a really hilarious joke. LIMBURGER
posted by DU at 6:27 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


it's just a way to point out say you're being sarcastic.

I thought it was a way to make everyone feel silly about writing sarcastic comments so they don't do it.

Brilliant plan.
posted by smackfu at 6:31 AM on February 2, 2010


I thought it was a way to make everyone feel silly about writing sarcastic comments so they don't do it.

No, it wasn't supposed to stop people from being sarcastic. It was supposed to make sarcasm clearer -- which would actually encourage sarcasm.
posted by Jaltcoh at 6:32 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


The Mefi wiki can help answer questions like these.
posted by aught at 6:34 AM on February 2, 2010


If someone does a callout, can we say they've got a BEEFBURGER?
posted by permafrost at 6:38 AM on February 2, 2010 [3 favorites]


Whenever I see it, I always hear it in this guy's voice.
posted by milquetoast at 6:46 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


Why won't you dance with ME, I ain't no lim bur ger?
posted by dirtdirt at 6:47 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's lazy.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:47 AM on February 2, 2010


Ich bein ein HAMBURGER
posted by The Whelk at 6:47 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'd like to propose the Big Mac, used to denote multiple intertwining layers of sincerity and sarcasm, or other convoluted changes in tone:

{/|/}
posted by bingo at 6:50 AM on February 2, 2010


Is there a way to say you're dead serious?

Also, I tend to jokingly say, "Seriously, you guys!" right before I say something deeply sarcastic. Does this mean any serious punctuation would be assimilated into sarcastic commentary?
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:50 AM on February 2, 2010


WIENER.
posted by pracowity at 6:51 AM on February 2, 2010


Man what a great tradition! DOUBLE-DOUBLE
posted by shakespeherian at 6:54 AM on February 2, 2010


i guess i've seen comments that say simply:

FLAGGED AS HAMBURGER

where i didn't see any connection and the post disappears and i think "was that post removed for being inappropriately framed or ???" hence the question why is it bad etc.
posted by Hammond Rye at 7:00 AM on February 2, 2010


It's an annoying in-joke.

Metafilter: Annoying in-joke.

hamburger.
posted by The Whelk at 7:05 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


I think where we are at this point is that the joke has gone meme on the site and usage is evolving steadily away from where it started. Folks are generalizing and extending their HAMBURGLERY as they see fit, with the strict notion of "post-fix HAMBURGER to a statement to denote that that statement is sarcastic" ceding to the broader conception of "alluding to the word hamburger in some way suggests sarcastic intent" without any formal requirements.

I'm also kind of sick of it at this point, myself, but there's not much to do for that but wait for it to die out.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:06 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm also kind of sick of it at this point, myself, but there's not much to do for that but wait for it to die out.

In all seriousness, will this ever happen? I mean, does anyone like the 'I for one welcome our blah blah blah overlords' at this point? And yet there it is in every bug/government/sea life/chemical-related thread.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:13 AM on February 2, 2010


I for one welcome our new hamburger overlords.
posted by The Whelk at 7:17 AM on February 2, 2010 [7 favorites]


I propose that serious statements be marked with the opposite of a hamburger. SALAD.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 7:18 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


What's the average half-life of a weak metafilter meme? This one, I thought, had no legs when it started in October, and now it seems to be picking up. This is unfortunate, because it is weak.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:22 AM on February 2, 2010 [4 favorites]


It's a really hilarious joke. LIMBURGER

Well I think it stinks.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:24 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


just tossing that out there Parker Lewis?
posted by The Whelk at 7:24 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


Blubber Burger Blue, I say.
posted by effluvia at 7:26 AM on February 2, 2010


there's not much to do for that but wait for it to die out

Sadly these things are like those bacteria that survive in the crevices of spaceships without air for years.
posted by Rhomboid at 7:31 AM on February 2, 2010


"Robble robble"

HAMBURGULAR
posted by quin at 7:34 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I propose that serious statements be marked with the opposite of a hamburger. SALAD.

I don't think salad is really the opposite of hamburger. Wouldn't the opposite still be in the same species (sandwiches) instead of a totally different course? Like, the opposite of Man is Woman - polar opposites of the same species.

I think the opposite of {/} should be (=======). That's a seafood sandwich from subway, and it's fucking disgusting.
posted by Think_Long at 7:39 AM on February 2, 2010


gender is a continuum, blah blah blah
posted by Think_Long at 7:39 AM on February 2, 2010


In all seriousness, will this ever happen?

Man I hope so, though I'm kind of afraid that saying so will somehow dare it to stick around. I don't think it'll ever go all the way away, no meme ever does it seems like, but they sure can fade into the background to the point where occurrences become more of a nostalgic itch than anything: "oh, right, I remember when we were saying that all the goddam time, all our bases sure did belong to that motherfucker..."
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:39 AM on February 2, 2010 [4 favorites]


PATTY MELT
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:40 AM on February 2, 2010


the opposite of Man is Woman

I thought the opposite of Man is Astroman.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:40 AM on February 2, 2010 [5 favorites]


I propose that serious statements be marked with the opposite of a hamburger. SALAD.

hamburger salad?
posted by advil at 7:43 AM on February 2, 2010


The opposite of man is man. Meditate on that.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:45 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


What I hate the most about it is that it is intentionally manufactured, it is an astroturf meme.

"Hey guys, let's all say 'spin my bidness' when we think that maybe another commenter is posting drunk, OK? Won't that be cool?!?

Yo, Burhanistan, spin my bidness!
posted by Meatbomb at 8:01 AM on February 2, 2010 [7 favorites]


Nah, the opposite of man is nam.

I palindrome I
posted by owtytrof at 8:01 AM on February 2, 2010


For me, it's difficult, because 'Hamburger Time' refers to death. 'Hamburger' means, in my mind, a way to kill the conversation. Preferably dramatically.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 8:02 AM on February 2, 2010


Go hang a salami you lasagna hog
posted by Think_Long at 8:03 AM on February 2, 2010 [3 favorites]


Why did that make me think of one of the worst YTMNDs that I've ever seen?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:03 AM on February 2, 2010


Spin my bidness, Weighted Companion Cube!

Amirite, guys? Come on, get with it, won't it be cool if we all keep saying this?!?!!?

Let's decide what the cool little symbol will be for this.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:04 AM on February 2, 2010



posted by The Whelk at 8:11 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I propose that serious statements be marked with the opposite of a hamburger. SALAD.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis


That proposal will not win any friends.
posted by haveanicesummer at 8:14 AM on February 2, 2010


I propose that serious statements be marked with the opposite of a hamburger. SALAD.

"Hey, that's a salad roll", I said...

posted by zamboni at 8:15 AM on February 2, 2010


I propose that we say it in Spanish. HAMBURGUESA sounds exotic and enticing, yet it is clear what it means. It also typos dangerously close to HAMBURGEUSA, which is a convenient way for foreigners to make fun of the American penchant for being fat and eating said hamburguesas.
posted by haveanicesummer at 8:19 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


Why did that make me think of one of the worst YTMNDs that I've ever seen?

You mean meatspin.com?
posted by Rhomboid at 8:24 AM on February 2, 2010


While we're at it - somebody over at Hacker News proposed using exclamation marks before emphasized words in a sentence to indicate sarcasm, as in: "That's a !great idea," or "Wow, I !never would have thought of that." It has the advantage of being intuitively obvious even if you've never seen it before, because it reflects the way we use inflection to indicate sarcasm in speech, whereas a convention like "HAMBURGER" or tzikeh's original suggestion {\} is confusing if you don't know know the convention.
posted by nangar at 8:25 AM on February 2, 2010 [4 favorites]


Hamburger actually contains no ham, which is sliced up pig.

Once, in England, I ordered a hamburger. And when I bit into it, I realized that it was a burger made out of ham. I mean, who thinks that's okay? It wasn't okay. I cried. I was ten.
posted by rtha at 8:30 AM on February 2, 2010 [9 favorites]


The word is out, better treat me right
'Cause I'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, Hammond Rye, all right
posted by gman at 8:38 AM on February 2, 2010


Cortex, if you're sick of it, you should hire this guy. I hear he's looking for work.
posted by craven_morhead at 8:42 AM on February 2, 2010


when I bit into it, I realized that it was a burger made out of ham. I mean, who thinks that's okay? It wasn't okay. I cried.

This happened to me once in Germany. Awful. Of course, they eat the Alpen Mac over there, so they should not be trusted in the art of the sandwich.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:45 AM on February 2, 2010


Hamburger actually contains no ham, which is sliced up pig.

Just to get a little bit specificker, ham is the meat of a pig's hind legs. And this, my dear American neighbours, is why "Canadian bacon" IS NOT HAM!!! We call it "back bacon" up here for a reason: It's the meat from the pig's back.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:48 AM on February 2, 2010


This happened to me once in Germany. Awful.

My first day in Munich, I sat down to a nice slice of "meatloaf", which is someone's idea of a tourist-friendly English translation of Leberkäse. Gah.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:48 AM on February 2, 2010


when I bit into it, I realized that it was a burger made out of ham. I mean, who thinks that's okay? It wasn't okay. I cried.

Go to Papu's Hot Dog Show in Burbank and order the Ham Hamburger. You get a nice hamburger, with ham on top, and it's delicious.
posted by davejay at 8:56 AM on February 2, 2010


i much prefer practicing sarcasm without a net. Being misunderstood is half the fun of being sarcastic.
posted by empath at 9:10 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'M NEEEEEEIIIILLLL...HAAAMMMBURGER!
posted by porn in the woods at 9:10 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


My first day in Munich, I sat down to a nice slice of "meatloaf", which is someone's idea of a tourist-friendly English translation of Leberkäse.

One of those things which is technically true, but misleading. It's more accurate than liver-cheese, I guess.
posted by zamboni at 9:20 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


If someone's really being offensive, can we use Big Mac Snack Wrap?
posted by Nabubrush at 9:22 AM on February 2, 2010


They should have just split the difference and called it Hotdog Slab.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:25 AM on February 2, 2010


MEMIN' THE MEMEY MEME
posted by Greg Nog at 9:28 AM on February 2, 2010


Taylor pork roll sandwiches are pretty awesome though, and that's pretty close to ham
posted by smackfu at 9:31 AM on February 2, 2010


Stupid meme. Manufactured, not organic. Opaque and unfunny. Please stop using it.

It's a stupid word that was meant to show how much we DON'T need a sarcasm tag. If it actually becomes a sarcasm tag, the terrorists win.

We're all better than this. Not much, maybe, but definitely better by a little bit, at least.
posted by Aquaman at 9:37 AM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


I think comments that suck should be marked as GRILLED CHEESE.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:39 AM on February 2, 2010


HURF DURF BURGER EATER.
posted by eriko at 9:46 AM on February 2, 2010


burnmp3s: Flagged as [|].
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 9:49 AM on February 2, 2010


Stupid meme. Manufactured, not organic. Opaque and unfunny. Please stop using it.
posted by Aquaman


It may be stupid, opaque, and unfunny, but it certainly wasn't manufactured. It arose from a thread where someone proposed a bizarre punctuation, then someone else jokingly said it looked like a hamburger, then subsequently became HAMBURGER instead of the original symbol. That's about as organic as memes get. The original intent of the OP was certainly not to append a capitalized food title to the end of sarcastic posts. These hamburgers are organic (dunno if they're grass-fed though).
posted by haveanicesummer at 10:04 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


Meatbomb: "39What I hate the most about it is that it is intentionally manufactured, it is an astroturf meme."

Not really. That's kind of what makes it so funny (to me). Somebody was trying to formally create a social convention (a slash tag to denote sarcarsm), but language spontaneity ruled the day when somebody else casually pointed out that it looked like a hamburger. You can't make that shit up. And I suspect that it's that response that people latched onto, not the attempt to make a new rule and get others to follow along.

I personally feel like every time I see HAMBURGER (especially in that original thread), it's a little 'fuck you' to the idea of 'let's make a rule for X, so we can all get along.' HAMBURGER kind of subverts that idea, in a very flouted use of Gricean maxims. It also is a classic 'don't tell me what to do' off record response to a negative face threat. Sorry to get all linguistical, but the HAMBURGER thing is fucking fascinating.

Also, no offense to the original proposer of the idea of marking sarcasm. But yeah, you can't impose a social convention on people. But if enough people happen to like it one way or another, repurposed or not, we can get inundated with its overuse. However, is there really such a thing as too much HAMBURGER?
posted by iamkimiam at 10:10 AM on February 2, 2010 [12 favorites]


Once, some acquaintances invited me over for dinner, and they made hamburgers with actual pork. I was intrigued. They smelled amazing, and looked amazing, and I bit into one and it tasted amazing. Then, as I chewed, I looked down at the bitten hamburger, only to see the bright pink exterior of a medium-rare burger.

A medium-rare burger. With pork.

But, at least, it was a tasty way to get food poisoning.

...

I tend to think 'HAMBURGER' is the only type of sacrasm-alert that could ever actually work, for reasons similar to what iamkimiam says. Sarcasm really doesn't work if you say "Hey, I am being sarcastic here," so any kind of earnest symbol will just make the whole sentence fall flat. This is much in the same way that appending "j/k" to any statement made even slightly in jest will ruin any chance your comment had to actually be funny -- it just destroys the whole vibe. "HAMBURGER," however, is a joke in itself, and just writing it involves a bit of sarcasm, so you can manage to get across "what I just said is sarcastic" without falling into the Sincerity Pit like any other indicator would.
posted by Ms. Saint at 10:16 AM on February 2, 2010


Just to get a little bit specificker, ham is the meat of a pig's hind legs. And this, my dear American neighbours, is why "Canadian bacon" IS NOT HAM!!! We call it "back bacon" up here for a reason: It's the meat from the pig's back.

Okay, so it's thin, gross ham is what you're saying?
posted by Caduceus at 10:22 AM on February 2, 2010


I think comments that suck should be marked as GRILLED CHEESE.

Clearly you don't remember the grilled cheese thread. Unless you were using 'suck' far more creatively than I thought.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:34 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I like my GRILLED CHEESE with a side of french fried TATERS... HAMBURGER?
posted by haveanicesummer at 10:38 AM on February 2, 2010


A medium-rare burger. With pork.

There's nothing wrong with that. Did you get food poisoning?
posted by Bookhouse at 10:39 AM on February 2, 2010


I think in political threads I'll have to remix the hamburger.

For example: "I agree with joe beese, it's Obama's fault! SCOTT HARSHBARGER"
posted by haveanicesummer at 10:42 AM on February 2, 2010


Clearly you don't remember the grilled cheese thread. Unless you were using 'suck' far more creatively than I thought.

Yeah, that's the joke I was going for. If only there was some sort of way to mark that comments involve bad puns referencing old threads about silly euphemisms.
posted by burnmp3s at 10:42 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah, that's the joke I was going for. If only there was some sort of way to mark that comments involve bad puns referencing old threads about silly euphemisms.
posted by burnmp3s


I think that would need to be an ASCII of this protest sign.
posted by haveanicesummer at 10:45 AM on February 2, 2010


Man I hope so, though I'm kind of afraid that saying so will somehow dare it to stick around.

That's how I feel about a certain meme that seemed to be taking foot about a particular website owner and what he was promising to his members.
posted by cjorgensen at 10:48 AM on February 2, 2010


Hamburger is bad. It annoys me to no end. I generally keep my mouth shut about it, but since this thread is here...

Sarcasm doesn't work well on the internet. Flagging sarcasm works even worse in my opinion. That a perfectly good word with completely different meaning was chosen as the flag for sarcasm mystifies me. It's just another MetaFilter in-joke that needs to be explained over and over again. What's wrong with saying (sarcasm)?

And why are you being sarcastic anyway? In the vast majority of cases, sarcasm does not help you to clearly communicate anything, which, in my opinion, goes completely against the mission of this site. That mission is the sharing and discussion of interesting things found on the web.

Sarcasm is too often used just to be mean, anyways. In summary: Sarcasm + Nontransparent language + Meanness for the sake of being mean = Irritated Roger Dodger.

Whew! I feel better. And I mean it.
posted by Roger Dodger at 10:54 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


That's how I feel about a certain meme that seemed to be taking foot about a particular website owner and what he was promising to his members.
posted by cjorgensen


God I know. A steampunkburger doesn't even make sense, if you really think about it.
posted by haveanicesummer at 10:57 AM on February 2, 2010


In all seriousness, will this ever happen?

I can't remember the last time I saw a "This [blank], it vibrates?" Which is not to say they aren't there, but just that I can't remember them, which is saying something because they used to be in approximately every thread.
posted by ekroh at 11:00 AM on February 2, 2010


These hamburgers are organic (dunno if they're grass-fed though).
posted by haveanicesummer at 10:04 AM on February 2 [+] [!]


Dog knows a bunch of the comments are.

Grass fed, that is.

┌────┐
├────┤
└────┘

(patty melt)
posted by lysdexic at 11:03 AM on February 2, 2010


In summary: Sarcasm + Nontransparent language + Meanness for the sake of being mean = Irritated Roger Dodger.

Ha! That's hilarious! You forgot to punctuate it with a HAMBURGER, though; wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea that you might actually be a humorless dimwit.

SLAMBURGER
posted by Sys Rq at 11:11 AM on February 2, 2010


Thanks Sys Rq for proving my point!
posted by Roger Dodger at 11:13 AM on February 2, 2010


I, who gloriously revel in in-jokes, find this a dumb in-joke, primarily because it has never struck me funny at any point.

INVISIBLE BICYCLE is George Carlin staring in a Monty Python skit in comparison.
posted by GuyZero at 11:21 AM on February 2, 2010


You're quite welcome, Roger Dodger!
posted by Sys Rq at 11:25 AM on February 2, 2010


We call it "back bacon" up here for a reason: It's the meat from the pig's back.

OK, I get the back part. Now explain why you call it bacon.
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:35 AM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


OK, I get the back part. Now explain why you call it bacon.

Because it's prepared exactly like streaky bacon. In fact, it's often prepared while still directly attached to the streaky bacon.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:41 AM on February 2, 2010


Does the word "bacon" come from "back" in the first place?
posted by smackfu at 11:47 AM on February 2, 2010


I can't remember the last time I saw a "This [blank], it vibrates?"

July
August
September (also)
October
November
December (also) (also)
posted by Rhomboid at 11:58 AM on February 2, 2010


My favorite grilled sandwich in all the world is the hamburger. CROQUE-MONSIEUR
posted by everichon at 12:10 PM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty hyper-sensitive to myself reusing jokes or other witticisms either online or in real life so I don't know how people can look at themselves in the mirror when they keep trotting out cliches and well trod in-jokes.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:11 PM on February 2, 2010


But that's the thing, a lot of these memes would not be funny at all on their own if used once and then discarded, they're only funny because they get repeated over and over. You can really make anything funny if you repeat it or reference it over and over. Take Arrested Development for example, "come on!", "her?", "no touching!", etc.
posted by Rhomboid at 12:19 PM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I don't know how people can look at themselves in the mirror when they keep trotting out cliches and well trod in-jokes.

I just smash any mirror that happens to be nearby.
posted by kmz at 12:29 PM on February 2, 2010


Metafilter: I don't know how people can look at themselves in the mirror when they keep trotting out cliches and well trod in-jokes
posted by found missing at 12:47 PM on February 2, 2010


And I suspect that it's that response that people latched onto, not the attempt to make a new rule and get others to follow along.

That's kind of how memes work. Somebody says something funny, somebody else picks up on it, and when the third or fourth person starts mentioning it then it becomes a thing. Not really a surprise at this point.

I personally feel like every time I see HAMBURGER (especially in that original thread), it's a little 'fuck you' to the idea of 'let's make a rule for X, so we can all get along.' HAMBURGER kind of subverts that idea, in a very flouted use of Gricean maxims. It also is a classic 'don't tell me what to do' off record response to a negative face threat. Sorry to get all linguistical, but the HAMBURGER thing is fucking fascinating.

If you read the original comment it was made as a sarcastic response "let's do this NOT" but inevitably it quickly became the thing it didn't want to be although it was that very thing in when written. In that sense it doesn't subvert anything. It is the social convention at this point. Hardly a fuck you.
Personally I don't find it more interesting than someone who wants to derail a Metatalk by talking about pie, but if you want to add all kinds of underlying ideas to make it more fascinating for yourself have at it. The fact of the matter is that it does encourage sarcasm, which is hardly a good thing.
posted by P.o.B. at 1:10 PM on February 2, 2010


So, you're saying it's called Canadian Bacon because it's the stuff that's attached on top of the real Bacon, but less fat and less awesome?

I see.
posted by qvantamon at 1:13 PM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


"It's an annoying in-joke."

More than that, it's the most annoying in-joke on the site. It's so annoying that the user who coined it (and every person who has used it since) should be flogged in public.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 1:50 PM on February 2, 2010


Proposed substitute: "But thaaaaaat's my life!"
posted by decagon at 1:51 PM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I will gladly pay you for this HAMBUGER next Tuesday.
posted by fixedgear at 2:38 PM on February 2, 2010


But that's the thing, a lot of these memes would not be funny at all on their own if used once and then discarded, they're only funny because they get repeated over and over.

Baloney. Whoever was all "Hey, that looks like a hamburger", that guy was being funny. Whoever was all "Hey let's actually use the word HAMBURGER to denote sarcasm HAMBURGER", that guy was quite arguably funnier than all other instances of HAMBURGER combined. That first hamburger was comedy gold. For a while it was comedy silver, and now we're well into comedy manganese (or whatever the worst element is). A big part of humor is the unexpected, and everyone expects HAMBURGER now.
posted by 23skidoo at 3:38 PM on February 2, 2010


now we're well into comedy manganese (or whatever the worst element is)

Dear Sir,

As honorary co-chair of the Manganese Awareness Council, I am writing to protest in the strongest possible terms against your vicious and unprovoked slander against the noble* metal manganese. Manganese is essential to iron and steel production, and is an essential trace nutrient in all forms of life. So the next time you see some manganese, I happen to think it's time you offered it a hearty "Thank You" for all the things it's done for you.

Manganesically yours,
Horace Rumpole


*Not in the chemistry sense of the term
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:50 PM on February 2, 2010 [5 favorites]


Hamburger
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:51 PM on February 2, 2010


Baloney.

I see what you did there.
posted by qvantamon at 3:58 PM on February 2, 2010


I see what you did there. (NO HAMBURGER)
posted by blasdelf at 4:29 PM on February 2, 2010


That first hamburger was comedy gold.

Oh, I'm not denying that at all. All memes start with a healthy kernel of humor. But that humor alone does not explain its extraordinarily long life; something happens when it has been repeated a certain threshold number of times that gives it a life of its own, one where it's propelled no longer by its innate humor but by its familiarity: "hey, we both can reference this thing that we share knowledge of."
posted by Rhomboid at 4:50 PM on February 2, 2010


The worst element is osmium.
posted by Neofelis at 5:00 PM on February 2, 2010


Fucking Argon thinking it's better then the rest of us
posted by The Whelk at 5:04 PM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


The worst element is osmium.

I disagree, osmium is ossome.
posted by qvantamon at 5:14 PM on February 2, 2010


Seriously? Nobody has yet linked to this song?
posted by potch at 5:18 PM on February 2, 2010


Fucking Argon owes me ten bucks from the last time.
posted by P.o.B. at 5:28 PM on February 2, 2010


And...
posted by P.o.B. at 5:29 PM on February 2, 2010


No hamburger. cheeseburger....
posted by jonmc at 5:35 PM on February 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


a hamburger is bad if it doesn't have beetroot on it.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:36 PM on February 2, 2010


no, asmium is assome,
cadmium is a cad.
gadolinium can't stop gadding about.
gallium is galling.

but yttrbium is a downright yttrd.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:24 PM on February 2, 2010


a hamburger is bad if it doesn't have beetroot on it.

You know it. You know it. You know.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:32 PM on February 2, 2010


There's a Brand Nubian song where Grand Puba says something like "I smacked a man because he tried to serve a plate of ham disguised as a patty." This has long made me wonder whether Puba thinks hamburgers are made of swine.
posted by box at 6:55 PM on February 2, 2010


CROQUE-MONSIEUR

♫ ♪It wasn't a croc, it was a CROC MONSTER!!♫ ♪
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:17 PM on February 2, 2010 [4 favorites]


Ne'er the well be mind.
posted by tellurian at 8:37 PM on February 2, 2010


It's an in-joke, and like most in-jokes, is funny for about four seconds. After that, it serves primarily to identify people who aren't clever or amusing in the goddamn least, but are desperate to prove otherwise.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:31 PM on February 2, 2010


MetaFilter: serves primarily to identify people who aren't clever or amusing in the goddamn least, but are desperate to prove otherwise.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:38 PM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


hamburger
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:40 PM on February 2, 2010


You sir, are a scoundrel!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:49 PM on February 2, 2010


we prefer to be called blackguards, if you don't mind.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:01 PM on February 2, 2010


DAMMIT I CAN'T TELL IF YOU ARE BEING SERIOUS OR NOT IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:22 PM on February 2, 2010


(interestingly, a 'hamburger' - if deployed ironically - means 'not hamburger' which is especially ironic, because it is, in fact, used ironically. this sets up a neat universe-imploding infinite loop, whereby i would be simultaneously earnest & ironic at the exact same time. this is problably how schroedinger's cat felt, especially if the man in question was exhaling bong-breath into its little face at the time, as a joke)
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:06 PM on February 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


Hamburger is the lowest form of wit.
posted by L.P. Hatecraft at 12:22 AM on February 3, 2010


The ham is coming from INSIDE THE BURGER!
posted by allkindsoftime at 1:10 AM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


I am starting to think all of you crazy dudes and dudettes are spinning my bidness.


posted by Meatbomb at 1:33 AM on February 3, 2010


Given that HAMBURGER seems to mostly be associated with silly/non sequitur/absurdist sorts of responses rather than actual "Oh, great job there" sarcasm, I'm all for it. I also heartily approve of the weird layers of meaning and intention that arise from an established tag for sarcastic statements which is then itself used sarcastically. It's like watching slang and idiom form in real-time without the unending profanity you get on UrbanDictionary.

Again, apologies for derailing the nonsense with earnestness. Carry on, brave warriors, carry on.

The sad part is I actually am earnest all the way through this. I know you don't believe me, but it's true.
posted by Scattercat at 3:03 AM on February 3, 2010


(For example, I have seen responses to comments which read simply, "HAMBURGER?" With one word, the responder is saying, "I suspect that you are being sarcastic, but I'm uncertain because of the ambiguity of your tone. I myself would not take that position, but I know that others may. Despite our common culture and familiarity with this venue, I'm uncertain if you share all of my own values. What is your true intended meaning?" This fascinates me on a fundamental level.)
posted by Scattercat at 3:06 AM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


Derailing the nonsense with earnestness is defined as HAMBURGLAR.
posted by P.o.B. at 3:12 AM on February 3, 2010


It's unnecessary and not funny and not good and adds to the sometimes-oppressive atmosphere of lulzy witless zinger-merchantism in certain threads, and I would not like to see it used again in the future, please.
posted by Cantdosleepy at 3:53 AM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


Could someone explain the difference between a manufactured and unmanufactured meme please?
posted by minifigs at 4:32 AM on February 3, 2010


Steering and controlling the status of a meme is damn near impossible and isn't what comes under the definition of whether it's spontaneous or not. I would probably go with intent.

Rick Roll, Star Wars Kid, Keyboard Cat = spontaneous and unmanufactured

Balloon Boy, Chuck Norris Sayings, Viral Ads = manufactured

Of course there's a spectrum in there and you could argue what falls where, but I think someone saying "let's do this everyone!" could be fairly well established as manufactured.
posted by P.o.B. at 5:01 AM on February 3, 2010


Look without asking the moderators to form the Metafilter Sarcasm Gestapo to weed out and eliminate useless sarcasm, there will be no change and the conversation is moot.

And I think we can all agree - MSG is not good for you.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:09 AM on February 3, 2010


This thread is so fetch.
posted by Sailormom at 6:17 AM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


Here's the thing though, Keyboard Cat was a completely manufactured meme. The guy who started it emailed the artist that made the original video and said "I think this could be a meme, can I use it?" so whose intent are we talking about when we talk about intent?
posted by minifigs at 6:43 AM on February 3, 2010


Look without asking the moderators to form the Metafilter Sarcasm Gestapo to weed out and eliminate useless sarcasm, there will be no change and the conversation is moot.

AFAIK we had a [more inside] joke Gestapo, and still do.

Let's do this, people.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:05 AM on February 3, 2010


The preferred nomenclature is "forced meme."
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:06 AM on February 3, 2010


Crunktaterzone
posted by Burhanistan at 7:16 AM on February 3, 2010


You know what goes really well with a hamburger? A delicious plate of beans!

HEYYYYYOOOOOOOO!
posted by Nabubrush at 7:17 AM on February 3, 2010


MSG is not good for you.

But it tastes good. And I figure several million people can't be wrong. I'll keep eating it with every meal!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:24 AM on February 3, 2010


Also, I propose we refer to people who don't get, enjoy, or condone HAMBURGER as "vegetarians."
I didn't take offense and I wasn't being sarcastic (maybe NEGATIVE HAMBURGER would have helped there).

VEGGIEBURGER?
VEGGIEBURGER is my recommendation for posts that seems sarcastic, but are actually sincere.
posted by defenestration at 10:53 AM on February 3, 2010


*seem sarcastic
posted by defenestration at 10:54 AM on February 3, 2010


Nabubrush would like fries with that.
posted by scruss at 11:12 AM on February 3, 2010


Balloon Boy, Chuck Norris Sayings, Viral Ads = manufactured
posted by P.o.B.


It's interesting that you cite Balloon Boy as manufactured. Personally I see the "event" and uproar as obviously manufactured by Heene, however the meme of calling him Balloon Boy, making jokes about it, the entire THING that happened afterwards, was completely organic. Heene certainly didn't manufacture the actual meme, he just put in the ingrediants and got a chemical reaction far above (and different) from what he expected.
posted by haveanicesummer at 11:22 AM on February 3, 2010


VEGGIEBURGER is my recommendation for posts that seem sarcastic, but are actually sincere.
posted by defenestration


And SOYBURGER for when you yourself are the actually sincere but seemingly sarcasm incarnate.
posted by haveanicesummer at 11:24 AM on February 3, 2010


"I think this could be a meme, can I use it?"

He said this? Those were his exact words? I know the guy got a hold of him and asked to use it. I used it as an example because it was something that was made innocuously then someone else picked up on it. I'm sure just about everyone who made a joke publicly, and then caught on like wildfire is tickled pink about it but I don't think all of them intended for them to be memes.

Heene certainly didn't manufacture the actual meme, he just put in the ingrediants and got a chemical reaction far above (and different) from what he expected

So did you read that first sentence I wrote? The part where I said:

Steering and controlling the status of a meme is damn near impossible and isn't what comes under the definition of whether it's spontaneous or not. I would probably go with intent.

The intent was there whether it's intention ended in good or bad press.
posted by P.o.B. at 1:09 PM on February 3, 2010


I propose that we say it in Spanish. HAMBURGUESA sounds exotic and enticing, yet it is clear what it means. It also typos dangerously close to HAMBURGEUSA, which is a convenient way for foreigners to make fun of the American penchant for being fat and eating said hamburguesas.

It is one of the sad elements of modern linguistics, that Spanish people don't really seem to care about eating hamburgers, YET THEY HAVE A COOLER WORD FOR THEM THAN WE DO!
posted by mannequito at 1:12 PM on February 3, 2010


Derailing the nonsense with earnestness is defined as HAMBURGLAR.

VEGGIEBURGER is my recommendation for posts that seem sarcastic, but are actually sincere.
posted by defenestration

And SOYBURGER for when you yourself are the actually sincere but seemingly sarcasm incarnate.


Expanding on this list, mock-offence would be HAMBURGRAR.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:55 PM on February 3, 2010


There's a restaurant around here that serves a corned beef burger with sauerkraut, Russian dressing, and Swiss cheese. I hate to see the Reuben sandwich perverted like that, but I have to admit it's a tasty burger. They also make sweet potato fries, which are an abomination.

Damn. Now I want a burger.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:16 PM on February 3, 2010


They also make sweet potato fries, which are an abomination.

A delicious abomination. I will accept no god that would find sweet potato fries to be unworthy of nomnomnoming.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:19 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]


So much for the First Church of the BitterOldPunk.
posted by Nabubrush at 4:44 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


Sweet potato fries are the sun-dried tomatoes of 2008. There, I've said it.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:48 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I like those too.
posted by box at 5:41 PM on February 3, 2010


i will never understand you people
posted by The Whelk at 5:43 PM on February 3, 2010


A delicious abomination. I will accept no god that would find sweet potato fries to be unworthy of nomnomnoming.

Well, biblically proscribed foods are pretty much all delicious. Bacon, ham, lobsters, oysters, camels - they're all on the list. I'm willing to take vultures on faith - since they're not kosher, I'd imagine they'd have to be delicious, but they might be an exception to the rule.

Some day I'm going to hit up the middle east, just to get a taste of delicious rock badger, aka the Syrian hyrax. You know he's going to be good eats.
posted by zamboni at 5:44 AM on February 4, 2010


I just created an account so I could ask pretty much this exact question.

I just failed at MeFi before my first comment.
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 7:23 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I just created an account so I could ask pretty much this exact question.

I just failed at MeFi before my first comment.
posted by sodium lights the horizon


See, we can't stop people from saying HAMBURGER because it's a recruiting tool. sodium lights the horizon, you have no idea just how deep the burger hole goes.
posted by haveanicesummer at 8:06 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


See, we can't stop people from saying HAMBURGER because it's a recruiting tool. sodium lights the horizon, you have no idea just how deep the burger hole goes.

That...That is an amazing pair of sentences. If I didn't know the context, I'd swear they were lyrics from THE BEST SONG EVER.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:52 AM on February 4, 2010


That...That is an amazing pair of sentences. If I didn't know the context, I'd swear they were lyrics from THE BEST SONG EVER.

This is exactly what MeFi Music is for.
posted by zamboni at 9:07 AM on February 4, 2010


Do you know just how deep the burger hole goes?

No, but if you hum it, I'll join in when I can...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 11:36 AM on February 4, 2010


Are you talking about a song or some kind of sexual technique, or both?
posted by Burhanistan at 11:43 AM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Christ, 'hamburger' is as annoying as 'pancakes' was.
posted by bwg at 9:15 PM on February 22, 2010


Tomorrow is free pancake day in the US!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:18 PM on February 22, 2010


I am in favor of this new event and or holiday.
posted by The Whelk at 9:24 PM on February 22, 2010


I am serious.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:26 PM on February 22, 2010


That should have been last week.
posted by tellurian at 9:40 PM on February 22, 2010


Number Of Residents Per Waffle House
posted by The Whelk at 9:45 PM on February 22, 2010


Number of residents per IHOP
posted by The Whelk at 9:45 PM on February 22, 2010


Note, there is One IHOP in South Burlington, VT and one in Manhattan on Adam Clayton Powell Junior Boulevard
posted by The Whelk at 9:49 PM on February 22, 2010


Seriously, IHOP: What the fuck? You have one day to remember every year, and you think you can just jiggle it around to whenever it suits you?

I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PANCAKE RESTAURANTS.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:50 PM on February 22, 2010


If it's tied to Shrove Tuesday, you should probably be blaming the Catholic Church.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:54 PM on February 22, 2010


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