10 Years is a 70 Dog Years April 16, 2010 9:09 PM   Subscribe

So I never click on the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10 years ago button on the Blue. For some reason (Friday night? Usual beverage?) I saw the 10 years ago today and I said to myself, "Self, that is a long time ago in internet land. Wonder what was the best of the web back then. This is it. Glad to see things haven't changed much. If you follow the link, there are actually diagrams on how to achieve the different "tricks".

Notice the first two comments had no snark.

I guess what I am saying is thank you for the unexpected features such as 10 years ago today, MyAsk, and Random browsing.
posted by JohnnyGunn to MetaFilter-Related at 9:09 PM (25 comments total)

The Pacific Northwest is a twisted, twisted place.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:27 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

The Pacific Northwest is a tasty, tasty place.
posted by cashman at 9:29 PM on April 16, 2010

There's a geoduck joke in here somewhere, but I'm too tired.
posted by cashman at 9:31 PM on April 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Best link ever.
posted by philip-random at 10:01 PM on April 16, 2010

The random button always provides some fun links.

For example, it coughed up this post for me tonight. That post was princey's only activity on MeFi, other than to link to gaspode. Did Matt scare him off?
posted by zarq at 10:06 PM on April 16, 2010

Metafilter: usually a Polish waterboy.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:07 PM on April 16, 2010

and y a weird bit of synchronicity, the Tony Danza uncut thread was 5 years ago today.

posted by edgeways at 10:08 PM on April 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

If done properly, his penis will spin itself out to produce a preternaturally helicopter-like action. (Watch out, Vic Morrow!)

Paging Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam!
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 10:43 PM on April 16, 2010

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get re-married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:


On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
posted by netbros at 7:16 AM on April 17, 2010 [25 favorites]

Oh my god! I laughed out loud!
posted by fuq at 8:43 AM on April 17, 2010

Metafilter: Find the post. Leave the comment.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 10:38 AM on April 17, 2010

This follow-up stuff is getting out of hand.
posted by sanko at 12:45 PM on April 17, 2010

"Metafilter: Find the post. Leave the comment."

Live the adventure!
posted by Kevin Street at 1:37 PM on April 17, 2010

I knew my penis wasn't major league material.
posted by maxwelton at 2:46 PM on April 17, 2010

MetaFilter: I rang the doorbell clicked the link, didn't I?
posted by not_on_display at 4:11 PM on April 17, 2010

Hello? I was told there would be pie?
posted by The Whelk at 6:05 PM on April 17, 2010

damnit, I wanted pie.
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 PM on April 17, 2010

Wow. Those are neat little... illusions. I wouldn't call them tricks though.

No, penis tricks are more like the pranks that my housemates pulled while I was going to San Jose State.

For example, one night I was in my room reading and one of my housemates comes in with his hands placed awkwardly over his pants and asked me "Hey, have you seen my new watch?" It took me a moment to figure out that the flesh colored band I was staring at was not his new timepiece, but rather his stretched out wang pulled taut around his wrist.

Or there was the time a few of us were in the living room hanging out and a housemate who had just come back for a run plopped down on the couch across the room. After a moment, he said with an exasperated flourish, "Aw! Gross, man!! I just sat in someone's gum!" and he let his balls hang out the middle of his running shorts, lifting his junk just slightly to enhance the effect. I was used to these shenanigans at this point, and said dryly "Ew, yeah. That's gross. There's hair in it and everything."

Now that I think about it, I wonder if any of my old housemates ever went on to play pro baseball.
posted by sambosambo at 3:08 AM on April 18, 2010

I will never really understand the time that a friend of mine, apropos of nothing, fiddled with his zipper and junk just so as to strand one of his testicles outside the fly for apparently the sole purpose of directing our attention to it with a cheery "hey, look at my ball" or something similarly direct. It's like, okay, I know we've all been drinking, but still: you just conceived of and executed a pretty specific plan there, buddy.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:40 AM on April 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

does anyone read the penis down here?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:35 PM on April 18, 2010

Performer I knew had the word "VROOM" inked on his actual penis. It became legend and when girls would ask him about it, he's go

""Vroom", please. that's a total lie. My vroom has three rs".
posted by The Whelk at 4:49 PM on April 18, 2010

what's awesome is that thestranger link still worked too.
posted by wilful at 5:59 PM on April 18, 2010

It had "Me" tattooed on it but really when it was erect it said "Metafilter users love to talk about pie".

I would worry about heart then cause it would have to be the size of a cantaloupe.
posted by The Whelk at 6:31 PM on April 18, 2010

The Whelk, you say that likes it's a bad thing.
posted by oddman at 7:01 PM on April 18, 2010

"There's a geoduck joke in here somewhere, but I'm too tired."

Geoducks often live to well over 100 years because their hardy critters, but mostly because historically the closest thing they've had to a predator has been drunken sailors who dug them up and stuck them in their pants.

At my Freshman commencement speech the President of my college, sang the Evergreen fight song in front of a piano and got up to try to imbuing us with the spirit of the place. He told us that the geoduck is indeed the perfect mascot being non-threatening and both phallic and vulvic at the same time. Evergreen and the Pacific Northwest in general is a magical awesome place.
posted by Blasdelb at 7:19 PM on April 18, 2010

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