Sink or Swim July 4, 2010 12:26 AM   Subscribe

Impromptu Baltimore meetup? My boat sank (quite literally).

I came to Baltimore to go sailing; my boat sank. As in, it filled with the waters of the Chesapeake Bay, negating its buoyancy. A bit touch-and-go there for about an hour. Then, through a series of misadventures, I ended my evening eating with a lovely group of Rollerderby lesbians, attempting to convince them to become fans of Gilbert & Sullivan.

Now at very late notice and landlocked, I would like to entertain any Baltimore Mefites available today, Sunday the Fourth, or tomorrow, the Fifth, anywhere convenient to my downtown Baltimore hotel.
posted by orthogonality to MetaFilter Gatherings at 12:26 AM (41 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

Dude, I'm noplace hear Baltimore, but I think we ALL want more details about this boat-sinking incident.
posted by hippybear at 1:38 AM on July 4, 2010 [12 favorites]


Dude, I'm noplace hear Baltimore, but I think we ALL want more details about this boat-sinking incident.

I second that emotion.
posted by amyms at 2:24 AM on July 4, 2010


Did you save the boat?
I'm a bit far away to come and ask you personally.
posted by adamvasco at 2:56 AM on July 4, 2010


That's a great story - I kind of want to fly to Baltimore to meet you.
posted by doublehappy at 3:11 AM on July 4, 2010


I used to crew (sheets and guy) on a J30 so I would also like to hear the details of your near swimming experience.
posted by vapidave at 3:14 AM on July 4, 2010


I'm nowhere near Baltimore, but I like your misadventures. I feel like the story is going to begin something like this:
We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ship's a beauty;
We're sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty.

When the balls whistle free
O'er the bright blue sea,
We stand to our guns all day;
When at anchor we ride
On the Portsmouth tide,
We have plenty of time for play.
Best of luck with your boat!
posted by zachlipton at 3:21 AM on July 4, 2010 [5 favorites]


I was washed up in Baltimore a few years ago but I moved on.

Best of luck, and check out Fell's Point if you haven't already.
posted by bardic at 3:57 AM on July 4, 2010


I AM in Baltimore, but I have plans Sunday. I may not have plans Monday, though, so if you're knocking around tomorrow and looking for something to do, drop me a line here, and if I get back to you, I may be available. My only totally obvious defect is lack of a car, but I may be able to get a ride to where you are.
posted by kalessin at 4:37 AM on July 4, 2010


I am in Baltimore this weekend, but am pretty busy. We're going to the BSO concert\fireworks at Oregon Ridge TONIGHT, if you want to meet there.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 5:16 AM on July 4, 2010


I was in Baltimore, but after an unfortunate incident in Chesapeake Bay I had to leave town quick before the coastguard caught up with me.
posted by Abiezer at 5:35 AM on July 4, 2010 [8 favorites]


Dude, Abiezer, aren't you in Beijing? You made a quick getaway!
posted by cgc373 at 5:42 AM on July 4, 2010


I lived in Baltimore for 10 years without a single lousy meetup (granted, this was before the whole internet existed, let alone MeFi), and now the most epic reason for meeting up of all time has to occur when I am on the opposite edge of the continent. Ortho, would you like to come sink your boat in San Francisco Bay?
posted by Quietgal at 7:36 AM on July 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm up in Boston, but if you meet a roller derby chick named Xena Paradox, tell her hello.
posted by rmd1023 at 7:54 AM on July 4, 2010


I'm in baltimore, and I'm not really doing anything today...also I'm a rollerderby person so I'd love to hear who you met up with yesterday!

Also, I totally know Xena, she is the raddest, I'll tell her you said hi, rmd1023!
posted by capnsue at 9:29 AM on July 4, 2010


I also used to live in Baltimore before there was a metafilter and I even went sailing once or twice in a tiny little orange styrofoam boat but fortunately it never sank, because back then if you ended up in the harbor you were pretty much guaranteed to rise again monstrous, tentacular and mutated. Do keep an eye on yourself to make sure you don't start sprouting extra limbs or superpowers. If you are totally at loose ends I will recommend a friendly and laid back bar that is just called BAR; it's in Fells Point around the corner from Jimmy's, which is a renowned diner, but don't eat there: go and have a crab cake sub and fries with gravy at the Sip N' Bite in Canton.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:05 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


cgc373 - I may be a careless sailor but I'm careful when it comes to extradition treaties.
posted by Abiezer at 11:19 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


this is simply wonderful...

*agog with curiosity; waits for sinking tale*
posted by infini at 11:41 AM on July 4, 2010


Ha, another person who knows Xena. Saw her last weekend at ECE.

Totally want to hear more about the boat sinking.
posted by Fuego at 12:16 PM on July 4, 2010


I'm in Switzerland, but I'm glad you're okay! And yeah, I want to hear this story too.
posted by bettafish at 12:19 PM on July 4, 2010


Sinking! Please tell us?
posted by bilabial at 2:47 PM on July 4, 2010


I'm from Baltimore, and am proud to see that you were given the typical Charm City Welcome - ruin your day, and then make it all worthwhile.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:01 PM on July 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


Oh, man. I wish I'd checked MeTa earlier.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:27 PM on July 4, 2010


Ew. Sip and Bite is horrible now. I heartily recommend Bar Bar, though. Just be sure to look extra gruff or they'll charge you double.
posted by youcancallmeal at 6:31 PM on July 4, 2010


Damn, couldn't you wash ashore during a less busy weekend? Like Artscape?

Dude, I'm noplace hear Baltimore, but I think we ALL want more details about this boat-sinking incident.

I'm more interested in the Rollerderby Lesbians.

I'm kidding. I probably do know them. CCRG?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:47 PM on July 4, 2010


So Wendy's mom made these awsome chess squares, and I'm sorry about your boat, but these are really awsome.
posted by nola at 10:19 PM on July 4, 2010


Please, please, tell me it was pirates.
posted by theora55 at 9:40 AM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


or ninjas
posted by theora55 at 9:40 AM on July 5, 2010


or bacon
posted by stet at 10:10 AM on July 5, 2010


or llamas
posted by deborah at 11:52 AM on July 5, 2010


दोन'ट ईवन आस्क इट्स ऑल meatbomb 's फॉल्ट
posted by infini at 12:16 PM on July 5, 2010


Please, please, tell me it was pirates.

He's in Baltimore, not Pittsburgh.
posted by jonmc at 12:46 PM on July 5, 2010


Pirates can be obtained in Baltimore on very short notice. Ask me how!
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:05 PM on July 5, 2010


Don't worry, Pittsburgh'll sell off all of the best pirates to the highestlowest bidder, so Baltimore can have some too!
posted by that girl at 6:39 PM on July 5, 2010


We've got pirates. They have water cannons.

Hey, waitaminute...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:53 PM on July 5, 2010


WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BOAT GODDAMMIT

I HAVE BEEN IN AN AGONY OF SUSPENSE FOR TWO DAYS NOW
posted by elizardbits at 3:05 PM on July 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah, if details aren't forthcoming I'm going to start making shit up. Were you torpedoed by the same North Korean submarine that torpedoed the Deepwater Horizon? Or was your hull pierced by a beachmaster sea lion angered by your attempts to mate with his harem?
posted by vapidave at 6:09 PM on July 6, 2010


I bet it was Justin Bieber riding a robotic velociraptor.
posted by elizardbits at 8:21 PM on July 6, 2010


Wait no JBeebs is definitely not awesome enough for a robovelociraptor. Maybe a wind-up turkey.
posted by elizardbits at 8:22 PM on July 6, 2010


Sunk by a great white, I bet. Did you hire a captain named Quint?
posted by hippybear at 9:22 PM on July 6, 2010


He was caught between Scylla and Charybdis so he decided to let it sink
posted by infini at 9:51 PM on July 6, 2010


He was torpedoed by warfighters.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:54 PM on July 6, 2010


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