We're an authority. July 2, 2010 8:26 AM   Subscribe

Parts of crunchland's post were just quoted verbatim by WNYC's (New York's NPR affiliate) Brian Lehrer during a conversation with the Atlantic's Marc Ambinder about internet security.

Unfortunately, most of the segment was ridiculous, especially the caller who suggested the President be able to shut down "tiers of the internet." Sigh.
posted by griphus to MetaFilter-Related at 8:26 AM (80 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

With credit?
posted by dirtdirt at 8:27 AM on July 2, 2010


Not to crunchland, but to Metafilter.
posted by griphus at 8:28 AM on July 2, 2010


Nice!
posted by zarq at 8:34 AM on July 2, 2010


Did anyone call in to say what an ass Gibson is, or did the host, guest, and callers manage to talk about the larger points raised?
posted by Mister_A at 8:43 AM on July 2, 2010


Not to crunchland, but to Metafilter.

His username isn't even that silly, but it's got to hurt the credibility of your argument when you say "But isn't it true, Marc, as crunchland points out..."
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:45 AM on July 2, 2010 [5 favorites]


Damn, man. Of all the bad timing... I mean, if this was, what, a year ago? – they could've quoted his username, and it would've been his actual name.
posted by koeselitz at 8:49 AM on July 2, 2010


Yeah, it could have been worse if his username was Christ, what an asshole.
posted by desjardins at 8:49 AM on July 2, 2010 [10 favorites]


Good thing it wasn't a television show. The audience would be absolutely aghast at the lack of a professional white background.

The show didn't even mention Gibson, Mister_A, although I was indisposed for a few minutes of it. Most of the conversation was about confused rumors of Obama being able to "shut off" the Internet and elucidation/further confusion of the idea of shutting off the Internet.
posted by griphus at 8:51 AM on July 2, 2010


Also, it took me five seconds to figure out his real name - WNYC couldn't do that?
posted by desjardins at 8:52 AM on July 2, 2010




They've penetrated our code walls. They're stealing the internet!

I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic. See if I can track an IP address.
posted by griphus at 9:00 AM on July 2, 2010 [35 favorites]


holy crap griphus, I've always known CSI was idiotic, but I had no idea...
posted by koeselitz at 9:04 AM on July 2, 2010


I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic. See if I can track an IP address.

oh sweet mother of vanilla wheretf do i even
posted by DU at 9:05 AM on July 2, 2010 [3 favorites]


I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic. See if I can track an IP address.

That made me giggle.
posted by slogger at 9:10 AM on July 2, 2010


oh sweet mother of vanilla wheretf do i even

Start here, DU... "Luckily, I speak leet."
posted by gemmy at 9:15 AM on July 2, 2010 [11 favorites]


From the 9600 bps rate the leetspeek is arriving at, I'd say those dozens of racks of computers are sucking up the ol' bandwidth.
posted by DU at 9:18 AM on July 2, 2010


I gotta say, if you're on a radio show and trying to speak with any authority, I have a feeling that the last thing you want to do is admit that one of your credit card numbers got sniffed for your insecure use over a coffee shop wifi.
posted by crunchland at 9:19 AM on July 2, 2010


Anyway, thanks for the post crunchland — I've got a few bad habits that you've helped me address with this info.
posted by Mister_A at 9:22 AM on July 2, 2010


Suck it, threadshitters.
posted by BeerFilter at 9:24 AM on July 2, 2010 [6 favorites]


Suck it, threadshitters.

They said that on NPR?
posted by Think_Long at 9:28 AM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


Excuse me stewardess, I speak l33t.
posted by slogger at 9:37 AM on July 2, 2010 [17 favorites]


I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic. See if I can track an IP address.

Finally I know what tattoo to get.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:41 AM on July 2, 2010 [11 favorites]


Remember, this only affects evil Starbucks WiFi, independent coffeeshop WiFi is fine.
posted by Artw at 9:43 AM on July 2, 2010 [8 favorites]


What awful show with no budget for a technical consultant is that from anyway?
posted by Mister_A at 9:45 AM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


griphus: "I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic. See if I can track an IP address."

Done. Thanks to seanyboy.


posted by specialagentwebb at 9:47 AM on July 2, 2010 [25 favorites]


Finally I know what tattoo to get.

Computer, zoom in on that tattoo... enhance. Computer, show tattoo at right angle. Now pull it around 180 degrees. And... there's our man. The inside of cortex's skin. Luckily, I speak the inside of cortec's skin. Carla. Get me a screenshot. We're gonna be here awhile.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:58 AM on July 2, 2010


Computer, zoom in on that tattoo... enhance.

I've seen that 16x16 block of pixels before! It must have been ... Bomberman. (Cue slow-mo shot of firestorm down an alleyway.)
posted by griphus at 10:04 AM on July 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


it's got to hurt the credibility of your argument when you say "But isn't it true, Marc, as crunchland points out..."

It creates a terrible impression and never doesn't sound dorky. I always cringe when magazines trying to be hip reprint comments from their website: "The fritter recipe in the June issue was fabulous! I added orange zest and it really brightened the flavor. -- HotMama37"
posted by Miko at 10:25 AM on July 2, 2010


desjardins: Yeah, it could have been worse if his username was Christ, what an asshole

Coulda been worser.
posted by hangashore at 10:25 AM on July 2, 2010


I shoulda started with this headline to pacify the gibson haters, and maybe they would have devoted more time to it on the radio show.
posted by crunchland at 10:36 AM on July 2, 2010


I shoulda started with this headline to pacify the gibson haters,

Don't feel bad; if those philistines prefer olives to cocktail onions, they're simply beyond help.
posted by Greg Nog at 10:39 AM on July 2, 2010


Could have been worsest.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:43 AM on July 2, 2010


Sir, I must object most strenuously. Cocktail onions are an affront to the Lord! Broadswords in the pit at dawn, old chap. Bring a second with hearty constitution, a pitchfork, and a sack.
posted by Mister_A at 10:45 AM on July 2, 2010


This has only vague relevance here, but I really need to unburden myself about this:

I've been to the bookstore twice in the last few days, and each time I've found it increasingly difficult to prevent myself from purchasing my very own copy of the new Glenn Beck novel, The Overton Window. Sincerely, there is a kind of genius in those pages from the very beginning that one very rarely sees even in this kind of thriller. Heck, even the genre itself is touched with brilliance; in the introduction, Glenn Beck says that he was trying to write "faction." See what he did there? It's fiction, only with some facts in it. Wow.

It only gets better from there. In the second paragraph, Beck describes the main character's life as "pretty sweet just as it was." In the third paragraph, Beck says that this character, Noah, "had all the bona fide credentials for a killer eHarmony profile." These, however, are just small touches which serve to focus the narrative as it dives rapidly into a massive socio-epistemological incoherence of which I had never previously thought any living writer was capable, a heady pathos at which Samuel Beckett would feel envious. At the beginning of the fourth paragraph – just the fourth paragraph, and the first two paragraphs are only one sentence long! – he manages to work himself to a point where he can produce this astounding sentence, which piles cliche on top of poorly mixed and frankly incoherent metaphor on top of pithy weirdness:
As he'd rounded the corner of age twenty-seven and stared the dreaded number thirty right in the face, Noah had begun to realize something about that medium-high bar: it takes two to tango.
I'm telling you, talented writers who work for years at it can't produce conundrums and painful difficulties like this on their best days. If the rest of the book is even half this good... well, suffice it to say, I really want a copy.
posted by koeselitz at 10:46 AM on July 2, 2010 [45 favorites]


It's like all the arch genre-laden cliches of Raymond Chandler had been folded in on themselves with the force of ten black holes the size of our solar system.
posted by koeselitz at 10:48 AM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


koeselitz, that is fantastic, in the most fantastical sense of the word...

I think you should buy this book and post the contents here a little at a time...
posted by Mister_A at 10:51 AM on July 2, 2010


The statue of liberty is a dude! And for some reason there's a fucking lens flare on a painting! EVEN THE COVER IS GENIUS!

Duel's off, Greg Nog, I've got reading to do.
posted by Mister_A at 10:53 AM on July 2, 2010


I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic. See if I can track an IP address.

This has to be a deliberate inside joke for nerds. Is it even physically possible to be that wrong by accident?
posted by ook at 10:54 AM on July 2, 2010


This has to be a deliberate inside joke for nerds. Is it even physically possible to be that wrong by accident?

I'd like to introduce you to my theory.
posted by griphus at 11:04 AM on July 2, 2010


Whoa. I hadn't even noticed the cover.
posted by koeselitz at 11:08 AM on July 2, 2010


"Luckily, I speak leet."

"Can we get a screenshot?"
Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.....
..."GOT IT!".


Ouch.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:33 AM on July 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


I've been to the bookstore twice in the last few days, and each time I've found it increasingly difficult to prevent myself from purchasing my very own copy of the new Glenn Beck novel

I am OK with you putting more money in the author's pocket if and only if you submit it as an entrant in the Bulwer Lytton competition.
posted by bearwife at 11:56 AM on July 2, 2010


As he'd rounded the corner of age twenty-seven and stared the dreaded number thirty right in the face, Noah had begun to realize something about that medium-high bar: it takes two to tango.

I almost shit myself when I clicked on the link ... got to the "Part One" title page, scrolled down, at the top of the first page:

"he'd been meeting might all have been doing exactly the same thing."

The in medias res beginning jumped out at me, as BEE uses it at the beginning of Rules of Attraction:

"and it's a story that might bore you but you don't have to listen, she told me, because she always knew it was going to ..."

I hurriedly bought it, thinking this was some sort of magnificent piece of post-modern prose, only to realize that Google cut off the first page. Now I just have this awful reminder that I actually purchased a Glenn Beck book. That's not as humiliating as buying 10 copies of Sarah Palin's book at Barnes and Noble to hand out as gag gifts for Christmas (this was actually depressing, I had a lot of people come up to me, and I was ready to say, "I know, I know, it is a gag gift, really!" but instead got some really weird praise, as if Sarah Palin's work was being suppressed by a giant left wing conspiracy, despite being in the front and center of the store and on sale for $10, but uh cognitive dissonance is the heart of all populist movements).
posted by geoff. at 12:03 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I think using a torrent to grab anything by Glenn Beck sans payment is not simply moral but a straight-up mitzvah.
posted by griphus at 12:05 PM on July 2, 2010 [5 favorites]


geoff, did you actually read the damned thing? Bored people want to know!
posted by Mister_A at 12:08 PM on July 2, 2010


Anyway, this seems like the place to tell you that I once spent a whole flight from Las Vegas to Philly reading this over some guy's shoulder. I had to suppress giggles, chortles, and snorts of laughter several times, because the book was so incredibly, off-the-wall, batshit bad, I couldn't believe it was done in earnest (had the same reaction when I saw the band Korn before they broke big).
posted by Mister_A at 12:13 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


Mister_A, the Palin or the Beck book? I'll read the Beck at the airport tomorrow as it actually looks amusing (there's a character in it named ... get this, Churchill). I'll post my review. As for the Palin book, it almost seemed like a parody ... worth it as a guilty pleasure.
posted by geoff. at 12:14 PM on July 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


How did I know Mister_A was talking about a Vince Flynn novel even before I clicked the link?
posted by Think_Long at 12:14 PM on July 2, 2010


geoff.: “I'll read the Beck at the airport tomorrow as it actually looks amusing (there's a character in it named ... get this, Churchill).”

Yes – even more perfectly, he's called Eli Churchill (Old Testament + conservative stalwart, beautiful allusions there Glenn) and he dies on page 3 of the "prologue":
Eli Churchill had enough time left to begin a quiet prayer but not enough to end it. His final appeal was interrupted by a silenced gunshot, and a .357 semi-jacketed hollow point was the last thing to go through his mind.
“I'll post my review.”

I am looking forward to it.
posted by koeselitz at 12:26 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


and a .357 semi-jacketed hollow point was the last thing to go through his mind.

I see what he did there.
posted by Think_Long at 12:28 PM on July 2, 2010


This has to be a deliberate inside joke for nerds. Is it even physically possible to be that wrong by accident?

Sadly, it is. I've had plenty of conversations with higher-ups at work where the same technique of combining slightly relevant buzzwords into grammatically correct sentences has taken place. Usually, they're talking to people who don't know much about the subject under discussion, and this makes them sound like they really know their stuff.

Whereas when it's a subject I do actually know something about (not that there are many of these), it makes them sound like they have no idea what they're talking about, but only to me. And yet I can't be in a meeting with a bunch of VPs and say "you don't actually know what any of that means, do you?"

I've found the best way to handle this is to politely ask for clarification of the terminology. "People often use the term 'VoIP' to mean different things, and I'm not quite following the sense in which you're using it here, so could you clarify that?" I make it sound like I'm the one with the problem and ask them to walk me through this a little slower.

The look on their face when they can't is priceless. And in climate rife with office politics, the other high-ups will seize on any opportunity to legitimately score points against their enemies.

When things happen that make you want to stab people, you don't always have to do the stabbing. Sometimes it's enough to just casually put the knife on the table, you know?
posted by FishBike at 12:32 PM on July 2, 2010 [51 favorites]


Yeesh, I'm just reading through the Google books preview here, and there's some crazy, crazy stuff. Like this, bottom of page 10, one of my favorite phrases so far:
Something about this woman defied a traditional chick-at-a-glance inventory. Without a doubt all the goodies were in the right places, but no mere scale of one to ten was going to do the job this time.
Oh good god.
posted by koeselitz at 12:33 PM on July 2, 2010 [4 favorites]


Did anyone see the clip of Beck reading his diary to Sarah Palin? I wonder how many of those entries he worked into his book.
posted by haveanicesummer at 12:50 PM on July 2, 2010


Oh good god.

It's no "the Christmas Sweater", that's for sure.
posted by Think_Long at 12:52 PM on July 2, 2010


Well, isn't it obvious he's talking about Sarah Palin in the entry koeselitz quotes? The man all but drools on her when he's around her.

I take a little mean spiritied satisfaction in reflecting that although he is obscenely rich and famous, he remains remarkably ugly. His outer self looks like his inner one.
posted by bearwife at 1:17 PM on July 2, 2010


Congratulations to crunchland. That's an extremely well written post.

As for Glen Beck... it's not like he wrote the book himself, or anything. So the credit for all his dreck should go elsewhere.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:30 PM on July 2, 2010


I think you should buy this book and post the contents here a little at a time never speak of this again...
posted by davejay at 2:15 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, and once upon a time at the little college radio station WZRD-FM (88.3), a cohort had a weekly reading of a really bad pulp novel, a romance thing written by some ex-military guy, and we all packed ourselves into the studio for the reading to make noises and swoon at the more passionate passages. If you're going to get the book, at least consider having the mods read excerpts from it in the podcast instead.
posted by davejay at 2:17 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


is not simply moral but a straight-up mitzvah.

This is correct, I have consulted my rabbi.

having the mods read excerpts from it in the podcast instead.

I would do this. I think we need to work more readings [by us or others] into the podcast.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:45 PM on July 2, 2010 [3 favorites]


What awful show with no budget for a technical consultant is that from anyway?

The Aristocrats?

Just kidding. It's really the [prepares to retch] "most watched show in the world". [sploooosh]
posted by Rhomboid at 3:11 PM on July 2, 2010


Also, it took me five seconds to figure out his real name - WNYC couldn't do that?

it's not exactly best practices for them to be identifying anonymous (or semi- or whatever-) internet posters with their real life names for no good reason. They could just ask him if he wanted to be indentified by his real name. unless his real life identity is the topic at hand, you don't go around ferreting out someone's real name and broadcasting it over the air carelessly.
posted by shmegegge at 3:17 PM on July 2, 2010 [3 favorites]


The Overton Window is going to be one of those books (like Going Rogue and The Politician) that I put on hold at the library, and then it arrives, and I check it out, and it sits on my desk and a couple weeks goes by and then I get a will-be-overdue-soon notice and I'm like 'Wow, I never even opened that piece of shit. Well, I guess it's time to send it on to the next chump,' and I check it back in.
posted by box at 3:26 PM on July 2, 2010


Oh man, koeselitz, I can't believe you didn't quote this line from the second page: "Top psychologists tell us in Maxim magazine that the first impression is set in stone within the first ten seconds." I like that the narrator cites his sources.

I want to read this book.
posted by painquale at 8:13 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


and a .357 semi-jacketed hollow point was the last thing to go through his mind.

Dear NRA,

Stop backing the conservatives. Just stop. I mean look at this stuff:

Is there any reason to jacket a hollow point round? Are either of these treatments going to help you assassinate someone by shooting them in the head at close range? Why not just use, you know, bullets - they're a lot more common so they'll be a lot harder to trace (and far less likely to make me think you're too embarrassed to talk to your doctor about Viagra).

Meanwhile, back in the book, someone is whacking this Churchill guy and trying to be subtle about it. So they decide that the gun for this job is the Desert Eagle. Equipping your assassin with a pistol that, with silencer, is over a foot long takes me right back to thinking thinking that your problems could be solved with a vaso dilator rather than superior firepower.

This is the firearms version of taking him out by putting a packet sniffer on his IP address with a GUI they put together in Visual Basic. Gah.

Sincerely,
A Slack Jawed Liberal
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:43 PM on July 2, 2010 [12 favorites]


The Overton Window sounds amazing. I may need to find it at the library.
Something about this woman defied a traditional chick-at-a-glance inventory. Without a doubt all the goodies were in the right places, but no mere scale of one to ten was going to do the job this time.
Wonderful. Not quite as awesome as this passage from Clive Cussler's Inca Gold ("A Dirk Pitt® Adventure"):
The inside of her one-piece black Lycra swim suit was nicely filled by an hourglass figure with an extra twenty minutes thrown in for good measure, and when she moved it was with the fluid grace of a Balinese dancer.
Poetry. I've always wondered how those 20 minutes were distributed.
posted by brundlefly at 9:59 PM on July 2, 2010 [2 favorites]


Heard that too on my way back to my friend's place in Williamsburg from Cobble Hill. I love, "the website Metafilter said" as if the site's a content generating news org.
posted by The Straightener at 10:35 PM on July 2, 2010


as if the site's a content generating news org.

I think this sort of exposes that the post was exactly what its early detractors claimed it was -- pretty much a 'gyofb' post, based on a weak current event link, and padded out with 2003-era net security links, which was old news and boring to some of the more cynical posters. It was probably more of a feature article than the usual 'best of the web' that gets posted here. The fact that it got as many favorites as it did indicates that there's a hungry audience for security advice from people who may not keep up-to-speed on it as a hobby or vocation, but those many and early favorites are probably what saved it from getting deleted.
posted by crunchland at 4:36 AM on July 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


The fact that it got as many favorites as it did indicates that there's a hungry audience for security advice from people who may not keep up-to-speed on it as a hobby or vocation, but those many and early favorites are probably what saved it from getting deleted.

YOU'RE WRONG!!!!!

I think it got so many favorites because of how well-written it was. Your post reads like what every news outlet what wanted a blurb on Sbux wifi wanted theirs to read like.
posted by carsonb at 4:56 AM on July 3, 2010


That thread encouraged me to finally install a packet sniffer!
What fun!
posted by kaibutsu at 5:32 AM on July 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


those many and early favorites are probably what saved it from getting deleted.

No, we were just surprised that so many people voiciferously disliked it. I mean yeah it was a little gyob-ish and the main link was slightly shruggo news but whatever. You'd put some time into it, it was on a topic that interested people and it was fine.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:05 AM on July 3, 2010


The fact that it got as many favorites as it did indicates that there's a hungry audience for security advice from people who may not keep up-to-speed on it as a hobby or vocation

That's definitely why I favourited it. To use that CSI clip as an example: due to years speant eavesdropping and smiling and nodding with you geek people and very infrequent bouts of 'Okay, I'm gonna learn some of this shit that they are talking about' ambition, I can tell that the CSI clip is empty jargon, I'm familiar with the terms used, but I wouldn't be able to articulate to, say, my mom why it's a load of crap.

My great-grandfather and his family were forced to flee Belgium because of a packet sniffing incident. Apparently there was also some GUIness involved, but we are not to speak of that.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:51 AM on July 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


damn damn double damn

GRAR i spent the last two days embedded in writing my future ticket to rent and food. missed all the fun

GRAR
posted by infini at 12:53 PM on July 3, 2010


I love, "the website Metafilter said" as if the site's a content generating news org.

Or, better, a member of the blue men group, with white and yellow tattoos all over his body, announcing in his best Metatron voice "Abraham, I am the website Metafilter"
posted by qvantamon at 7:51 PM on July 3, 2010


My great-grandfather and his family were forced to flee Belgium because of a packet sniffing incident.

He wasn't a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner, was he?
posted by lukemeister at 8:51 PM on July 3, 2010


> Is there any reason to jacket a hollow point round?

Yes. Controlled expansion. A good bit of engineering goes into bullet design.


> Are either of these treatments going to help you assassinate someone by shooting them in the head at close range?

Now then, now then. You have to load up for all the people you expect to shoot today. It's a compromise, what's best for one may not be ideal for another.
posted by jfuller at 8:38 AM on July 4, 2010


I've seen that 16x16 block of pixels before! It must have been ... Bomberman. (Cue slow-mo shot of firestorm down an alleyway.)

If you make it a non-descript hotel hallway in the 30s then I'll show you the life of the mind.
posted by Sparx at 11:03 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've built GUI "interfaces" in Visual Basic to track IP addresses, I've worked with GUI "interfaces" in Visual Basic to track IP addresses, and you sir, are no GUI "interface" in Visual Basic used to track IP addresses!
posted by blue_beetle at 8:51 PM on July 4, 2010


Now, there's a killer smartphone app: Where is jfuller now ?

Satellite map and street view, with outlined exit routes in3D. Towards which I am edging as of right now...
posted by y2karl at 11:34 AM on July 5, 2010


Okay I haven't finished Overton Window but I doubt I'll finish it anytime soon, so I'll give my 3/4 of the way through review: The book reads like a Glenn Beck wet dream, or perhaps it would better to imagine a play in which every other character is Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck in a mustache, Glenn Beck in drag, and waiting to tell us, complete with theatrical antics, that we just need to listen. It would have been much more readable had I not found myself reading quickly past polemical Gleen Beck rants:
“The entire Constitution can be folded and carried in your shirt pocket, and may I recommend that you keep a copy with you like that if you don’t already. But this “—she held up the massive book—“ is one volume of the federal tax code.” She dropped the book flat from waist high and it whammed to the stage floor at her feet. “Fourteen hundred pages, and that’s just one volume; there’s a bookcase full of these ..."
This sort of thing occurs all the fucking time. It'll be an "action" sequence, followed by a 12 page Glenn Beck nonsensical conspiracy theorist rant. Okay but there is a plot that centers around a PR company that actually runs the country and (wait for it) manages to get ahold of a nuclear bomb and wishes to set it off, blaming it on (again, wait for it) the fictional Tea Party organization.

And that's really where it begins to become really surreal. The protagonist, Eli Churchill, is high up at the said PR company and is so full of contradictions, I can't believe this book had multiple writers. Hold that in your thought when we're told both that he's been in the PR game since he accompanied his dad to focus groups, and despite being aware of all the evil this PR company has done (I believe in the book they're the PR company responsible for Nurse Nayirah, whose testimony plays on a short loop in the hallway, one would imagine right next to the little league trophies), nevertheless he either doesn't care or doesn't seem to understand that the government is manipulated by said PR company. Don't try to understand, but this evil Haliburton company also has a bulletin board that people can post whatever they want up, even if it is advocating subversive Tea Party-like rallies, well I could explain it or I could just show you:
“I’m Noah,” he said.
“I know. I sort your mail.” The following details were blithely enumerated, thumb to fingertips, summing him up neatly on the digits of a single hand. “Noah Gardner. Twenty-first floor, northwest corner office. Vice president as of last Thursday. And a son of a … big shot.”
“Wow. For a second I wasn’t sure where you were going with that last one.”
“Your dad owns the place, doesn’t he?”
“He owns a lot of it, I guess. Hey, I have to confess something.”
“I’ll bet you do.”
“You haven’t told me your name yet,” Noah said, “and I’ve been trying to read it off your name tag, but I’m worried that you’ll get the wrong idea about where I’m looking.”
“Go for it. I’m not shy.”
On their way down, his eyes wandered only twice, and only briefly. He caught a glimpse of a small tattoo, finely drawn and not quite hidden by the neckline of her top. All that was visible was an edge of the outstretched wing of a bird, or maybe it was an angel. And a necklace lay against her smooth pale skin, a little silver cross threaded on a delicate wheat chain. Her ID was clipped low along the V of her pullover sweater, which fit as though it had been lovingly crocheted in place that very morning. The badge itself was a temporary worker’s tag, only one notch above a guest pass. She was smiling in the photo, but a real smile, the kind that made you want to do something worthy just so you could see it again.
“Molly Ross,” he said.
She tipped his chin back up with a knuckle.
“This is fascinating and all, Mr. Gardner, but I need to go and service the postage meter.”
Well, it gets worse (the next meeting takes place at a honky tonk in Downtown Manhattan that comes straight from Blues Brothers). If you really want to read it, save your sanity and skip the Glenn Beck speeches. This is basically The Turner Diaries without the racism.
posted by geoff. at 6:52 AM on July 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


geoff, you deserve hazard pay for that.
posted by Mister_A at 8:40 AM on July 6, 2010


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