Cry, Ubu, cry! November 7, 2010 6:53 PM   Subscribe

On October 29th at 2:19am, MeFites skauskas and UbuRoivas had an 8.2lb. healthy baby boy named Jasper! Both mother and father are doing well.

I'm sure lil ubu will be posting in no time.
posted by gman to MetaFilter-Related at 6:53 PM (173 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

aww! He looks so tired. Being born is an exhausting business.

Congratulations!
posted by winna at 6:56 PM on November 7, 2010


Huzzah! Also, Jasper is a fantastic name.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:58 PM on November 7, 2010


That's wonderful. Mazel tov.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:00 PM on November 7, 2010


Man, that's a serene-looking little critter. Hope he stays that way. :) Congratulations.
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:02 PM on November 7, 2010


Welcome to the world, lil ubu! (And congrats, mama and papa ubu!)
posted by scody at 7:03 PM on November 7, 2010


Until I moused over, I thought the Jasper link went to a user profile.

Congratulations!
posted by ODiV at 7:05 PM on November 7, 2010


Holy shit, someone can put up with UbuRoivas on a day to day basis?!

Hee, congrats!
posted by nomadicink at 7:07 PM on November 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


Looking forward to his teen angst, "I hate my parents" posts in about 14 years :)

Congratulations!
posted by COD at 7:09 PM on November 7, 2010


Congratulations! If you bring him along to a meetup, I'll knit him a tiny MeFi jumper. :)
posted by web-goddess at 7:10 PM on November 7, 2010


Oooh - that'll go so nicely with that knitted dalek! ;D
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:23 PM on November 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Waiting a whole week to join? The kid's a slacker, I tell ya.

Congratulations. Seriously cute kid.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:25 PM on November 7, 2010


Hooray baby! This is wonderful - I didn't even know you were preggers, Ubu!
posted by item at 7:29 PM on November 7, 2010


Oh hey, the next link is a user profile.

I can read just fine...
posted by ODiV at 7:30 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats! He's beautiful!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:31 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats!
posted by smoke at 7:31 PM on November 7, 2010


congratulations!
posted by TrialByMedia at 7:32 PM on November 7, 2010


Awwhhhh. I'm not that active a mefite, and although I've been around enough to recognize UniRovias's name, don't think that I've ever interacted with either him or skauskas, but I felt compelled to say that is one gorgeous baby. Congratulations!
posted by kaybdc at 7:32 PM on November 7, 2010


Yay! More future MeFites!

(It takes a village, you know.)

ONE OF US ONE OF US

posted by mykescipark at 7:33 PM on November 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Good on ya! Congratulations!
posted by dhruva at 7:37 PM on November 7, 2010


Yay! New metababy!

Congrats!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:43 PM on November 7, 2010


Congratulations to the both of you!
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 7:44 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats! Welcome Jasper!
posted by gomichild at 7:47 PM on November 7, 2010


congrats!
posted by Wuggie Norple at 7:49 PM on November 7, 2010


Congratulations!

Now, if the rest of you could also get on with creating future revenue streams..
posted by vidur at 7:57 PM on November 7, 2010


Aw, what a handsome chap!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:59 PM on November 7, 2010


Awesome baby with an awesome name! congrats!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:04 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats. Nicely done, my friend.
posted by jonmc at 8:09 PM on November 7, 2010


NAME:

SEX:

WEIGHT:

DOB:

USER NUMBER:
posted by The Whelk at 8:12 PM on November 7, 2010 [5 favorites]


Beautiful baby! Congratulations to the whole family.
posted by angiep at 8:12 PM on November 7, 2010


Aw, thanks everybody! To respond to a few...

Holy shit, someone can put up with UbuRoivas on a day to day basis?!

I can confirm that she rolls her eyes at my attempts at snarky one-liners in real life: "We're not on MetaFilter, you know. I'm not favouriting that!"

Waiting a whole week to join? The kid's a slacker, I tell ya.


Must've been how long it took to hack my PayPal account. Took me by surprise, too.

Also, Jasper is a fantastic name.

Thanks! People seem to be responding well to it. I tell you, it's a lot harder than naming a cat. Apart from going well with his mother's surname, we went all analytical & set up criteria like:

- Must be easy to pronounce & spell first go (to compensate for a complicated surname)
- Shouldn't be obviously Biblical, or otherwise loaded with religious meaning (although it's close to one of the Magi's names)
- Cannot be a borrowing from a foreign culture we have nothing to do with
- Isn't a bogan misspelling of a common name
- No obvious current cultural references or associations (eg Barack. I can't tell you how many rugby league players these days are called Beau - presumably named after a Days of our Lives (?) character about 20 years ago. The only association we have at all with the name is Jasper Johns, which is alright in my book)
- Doesn't lend itself easily to playground teasing
- Ideally, has a Latvian and/or Lithuanian equivalent
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:15 PM on November 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Awesome. Congratulations!
posted by gaspode at 8:16 PM on November 7, 2010


The only association we have at all with the name is Jasper Johns

Oh, that's a paddlin'. A fine handle, nonetheless.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:18 PM on November 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Congratulations! Thanks for helping to insure the next generation of people to say "DTMF" and "IANAD" in askme.
posted by crunchland at 8:25 PM on November 7, 2010


woo! congrats!
posted by rmd1023 at 8:26 PM on November 7, 2010


Awww he's precious. Congrats!
posted by amyms at 8:31 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats! That's my cat's name.
posted by bondcliff at 8:33 PM on November 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


ms.clav and I wish many congratulations. beautiful.
and welcome to the newest member.
posted by clavdivs at 8:37 PM on November 7, 2010


Huzzah!

(Though I'm upset by the lack of bogan misspelling. You know this means he'll just get taunted by Jayyddens and Madyqyesens for his whole school career...)
posted by pompomtom at 8:38 PM on November 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


Yay! Lil Ubu!
posted by schyler523 at 8:46 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats!
posted by rtha at 8:47 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats to all involved. Onya, Père Ubu!
posted by zamboni at 8:56 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats!
posted by juv3nal at 8:58 PM on November 7, 2010


Congratulations!
posted by GeckoDundee at 9:00 PM on November 7, 2010


Congratulations!! He is absolutely adorable!

- No obvious current cultural references or associations
Jasper's the name of one of the vampires in the Twilight series. He has the worst hair but is the most badass because he ran a Mexican vampire mafia. I hope I didn't break the name because it really is an awesome one.

posted by lilac girl at 9:01 PM on November 7, 2010


- Shouldn't be obviously Biblical, or otherwise loaded with religious meaning

You know, if nothing else (and yeah, it is pretty much nothing else), the bible is an excellent source for baby names. Mrs. Ghidorah doesn't seem to agree, but Ezra is a fantastic name. Same with Jonah. Even Daniel.

She is willing to go with Noah, though. Unfortunately, it's because she likes ER and has a crush on Noah Wylie.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:01 PM on November 7, 2010


I'm personally trying to start a movement toward fussy 19th century names. Augustin or Ernestina.
posted by The Whelk at 9:04 PM on November 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


cheers
posted by edgeways at 9:14 PM on November 7, 2010


So is lil ubu the Youngest Mefite Ever?
posted by madcaptenor at 9:17 PM on November 7, 2010


Great news!
posted by qwip at 9:17 PM on November 7, 2010


Yay and congratulations!
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 9:17 PM on November 7, 2010


Big cheers!
posted by Wolof at 9:27 PM on November 7, 2010


As winna said, "Being born is an exhausting business". Congratulations and best wishes.
posted by wv kay in ga at 9:30 PM on November 7, 2010


Man, that's a serene-looking little critter.

You mean the dad, right?

Hope he stays that way.

Fat chance. Congrats anyway though.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:40 PM on November 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yay! Congrats!
posted by brundlefly at 10:01 PM on November 7, 2010


Mazel Tov!

Jasper (Jappy) was the name of the rich friend in the Five Little Peppers books.
posted by brujita at 10:11 PM on November 7, 2010


Nice! Congratulations!
posted by SpacemanStix at 10:13 PM on November 7, 2010


waah! waaaaaah! waaaaaaaah!

OOOH - BOOBIES!!!
posted by lil ubu at 10:15 PM on November 7, 2010 [23 favorites]


Congrats!
posted by klangklangston at 10:16 PM on November 7, 2010

- Isn't a bogan misspelling of a common name
Wait, what?

Man alive, I've always thought yours was. I've always pronounced "UbuRoivas" as "Brett Jason Wayne Isaiah Moses Mohammed KrishnaRoivas".

Have I been doing it wrong the whole time?
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:20 PM on November 7, 2010


Clearly lil ubu has figured out the best things in life. Took me years. Bright kid.
posted by Ghidorah at 10:30 PM on November 7, 2010


Have I been doing it wrong the whole time?

Yes. How on earth did you get that, when it's obviously pronounced "tim"?
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:31 PM on November 7, 2010


welcome to the world, little guy!

congrats, new parents!
posted by batmonkey at 10:36 PM on November 7, 2010


Congrats!
posted by DreamerFi at 10:47 PM on November 7, 2010


Jasper is a fantastic name. Congrats to the Ubu family!
posted by Phire at 10:53 PM on November 7, 2010


Congratulations!

I, too, am taken with Jasper as a baby name. My girlfriend's last name is Zhang, and Jasper Zhang is just too good to pass up.

My last name is Dale...Jasper Dale is just okay, but I have a feeling that it would mostly be pronounced as Jazz Perdale. Which, fuck it, is so awesome I guess I'll probably just name my kid that anyway. Thanks, Ubu! You just named little Jazz Perdale.
posted by Ian A.T. at 10:57 PM on November 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


Oh, he's GORGEOUS! Suddenly I have a desperate need to nuzzle his neck so I can smell that divine newborn baby smell.

Nice work, mum and dad. May his life be filled with love and laughter.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 11:23 PM on November 7, 2010


A beautiful, beautiful child. Congratulations!
posted by dancestoblue at 11:26 PM on November 7, 2010


Congratulations :)

I think you got his name wrong though - it's "Joey" Johns not "Jasper" Johns....
posted by Infinite Jest at 11:51 PM on November 7, 2010


Jebus, according to his profile pic, I think you're right!
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:53 PM on November 7, 2010


Aww, he's adorable. Congrats.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 11:55 PM on November 7, 2010


Mubarak! And that's all I'm going to say before I get overcome by the irresistible urge to baby talk right here. What a darling baby!
posted by bardophile at 12:09 AM on November 8, 2010


Gorgeous baby. Congratulations to you both!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:17 AM on November 8, 2010


Welcome to the world, Jasper.

Dear Jasper's parents (this will become your new name, as you'll find out when he's in school),

You have created a beautiful baby boy. He IS quite a handsome infant, but he arrives full of pee and poo and unreasonable, unintelligible demands that mostly mean you two probably cannot sleep at the same time. This will change. He'll stay full of pee and poo, but time will start passing more quickly than you can imagine. You may be able to get some sleep in the meantime, but I can't make any promises about sex. I wish you the best in both areas.

The next thing you'll know, he'll be 13 years old and proportioned like a puppy, with huge paws and a scrawny, lanky body and sprouting little whiskers. The good news is this is what happens if you do it right, or so I'm told. He may or may not smell funny, depending on how you get him trained in regards to bathing. He'll also be able to eat more than any grown man you know, unless you know tournament-going eating professionals. This is to make his paws grow, and we all know it's important to have a solid foundation. Just make sure to feed him mostly healthy things, and let him make himself sick on candy on occasion. That's when you get to say "I told you to take it easy on the candy." By this point, you need to have taught him how to make some food for himself, or you'll be back to the no sleep or sex regimen, and no one wants that!

...
In all seriousness, congratulations to the new parents. That little fella is so cute! Wishes of swift and easy recovery to mom and sweet dreams to the household.
posted by lilywing13 at 12:18 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations! Such a cutie!
posted by flibbertigibbet at 12:31 AM on November 8, 2010


Clearly fake, as no baby could be that cute.





Congratulations!
posted by Neofelis at 1:30 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations!
posted by mosessis at 1:50 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations to Ubu and skaukras! A word to the wise though, these beings apparently start becoming sentient very very quick; a friend's two-year-old daughter mastered Prisoner's Dilemma, negotiations and passive-aggression down to an art-form. She cries when you don't hand over that piece of tandoori chicken you were about to eat.

Apart from going well with his mother's surname, we went all analytical & set up criteria like: [snip]

Of course, in his future treks across India, he'll be known by his significantly more pronounceable nom-de-plume, Jaspinder "chota Ubu" Roivas. :)

Seriously, I'm in all awe of your criteria-making. My folks named me after perusing Maneka Gandhi's book, which isn't half as bad, but it did signal a move to the secular and mundane.
posted by the cydonian at 1:55 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations. Don't spend the baby bonus all at once!
posted by bystander at 2:19 AM on November 8, 2010


Congrats!
posted by Ahab at 2:39 AM on November 8, 2010


happy birth day, baby mefite!
posted by msconduct at 3:23 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations Ubu and skaukras!

::waves hello to lil ubu::
posted by harriet vane at 3:27 AM on November 8, 2010


Yay! How excellent!

Incidentally, this'll be what Nordics will be reminded of, the Kasper og Jesper og Jonatan song, and might just sing it out at you and/or the child for no good reason (here's the Finnish version for good measure). It's from the classic Norwegian children's play When the Robbers Came to Cardamom Town, and it's the robbers' song. Anyway, I will now have this song stuck in my head all day.
posted by Kattullus at 4:17 AM on November 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


Grats on your pink, wrinkly, poop-machine.
posted by cj_ at 4:30 AM on November 8, 2010


lovely baby
welcome to the world, Jasper!
posted by readery at 4:50 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations! Eye-meltingly cute baby right there.
posted by heyho at 6:08 AM on November 8, 2010


Yay, baby!!!! Welcome, Jasper. I hope you like it here.
posted by sonika at 6:11 AM on November 8, 2010


She is willing to go with Noah, though. Unfortunately, it's because she likes ER and has a crush on Noah Wylie.

Noah was the boy's name that Mr. Sonika and I had picked out for potential male progeny long before I got pregnant. (Actually I picked the name long before I even met the father of my sprog.) Unfortunately, since then, the name has become both über popular (I know of four boys under 5 yrs old named Noah, which is kind of a lot) and ambi-genderous. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter, but really, there are so few good boy's names that I want my son to have a BOY'S name.

We're having a boy in March and have decided on a lovely Portuguese name which has been infamously misheard as "Towel."
posted by sonika at 6:19 AM on November 8, 2010


UbuRoivas! Look what thou hast wrought!

Awesome job...way to go!
posted by allkindsoftime at 6:20 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations! What a sweety..
posted by h00py at 6:21 AM on November 8, 2010


Quality work, sir! Congrats!
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:42 AM on November 8, 2010


That's wonderful—congratulations, and I hope lil ubu has grandparents as slavishly devoted as Mrs. Hat and I! As a gift for the li'l fellow, here's his entry from Hanks and Hodges' Dictionary of First Names:
Jasper (m.) English: the usual English form of the name assigned in Christian folklore to one of the three Magi or ‘wise men’, who brought gifts to the infant Christ at his birth (Matthew 2:1). The name does not appear in the Bible, and is first found in medieval tradition. It seems to be ultimately of Persian origin, from a word meaning ‘treasurer’. There is probably no connection with the English vocabulary word jasper denoting a gemstone, which is of Semitic origin.
posted by languagehat at 7:10 AM on November 8, 2010


Beautiful! Well done!
posted by jquinby at 7:16 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations!

For Jasper, I think of the mineral - a few nice sentences from that entry:

"The original materials are often fractured and/or distorted, after deposition, into myriad beautiful patterns which are to be later filled with other colorful minerals. Weathering, with time, will create intensely colored superficial rinds.

The classification and naming of jasper presents a challenge."
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:42 AM on November 8, 2010


(Oops, it's not a mineral but a rock.)
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:44 AM on November 8, 2010


Congrats you guys!
posted by Lynsey at 9:09 AM on November 8, 2010


I'm pleased to see another Jasper in the world! Welcome and congrats!
posted by jasper411 at 9:32 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations! Some of us had a kid named Jasper 12 years ago. Based on my experience so far, it's good times.
posted by GuyZero at 9:34 AM on November 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


What a cute kid! And I'm nthing all the Jasper love. Congratulations!
posted by misha at 9:50 AM on November 8, 2010


So adorable -- nice work! Not only is it harder naming a baby than a cat, but you have to come up with a name that sounds different from the cat's so as to avoid . . . mackerel-related incidents. Jasper is a fine choice.
posted by FelliniBlank at 10:01 AM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations!
posted by box at 10:24 AM on November 8, 2010


Ubu and skausas, you've got male and all that Jaz!

So heartening to see those photographs of you holding your sweet and beautiful child. Please give him a kiss on his peachfuzzy head from his mefi cyber-aunt.

Welcome to the world baby Jasper. As well as your dear mother, father and biological relatives, there is a whole community around the planet who loves you already and sends you warm good wishes.

May you have a wonderful life, full of loving, being loved, creativity, fulfillment, curiosity, savoring each day, prosperity, excellent health, success, joy, emotional, mental well being and everything good. Happy Birthday!
posted by nickyskye at 11:10 AM on November 8, 2010


Babies are cool! Congratulations.
posted by Mister_A at 11:17 AM on November 8, 2010


There is probably no connection with the English vocabulary word jasper denoting a gemstone, which is of Semitic origin.

No, he was specifically & consciously named after the rock, not the magus, and no prescriptivist can order otherwise.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:26 AM on November 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Congrats, both!
posted by carter at 12:11 PM on November 8, 2010


Pehla beta hooah, Ubu, congratulations! May you be teh father of a hundred more!
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:43 PM on November 8, 2010


Such a handsome boy! Congratulations to you both!
posted by deborah at 1:37 PM on November 8, 2010


Mmmmm fresh baby.
posted by not_on_display at 2:13 PM on November 8, 2010


aw, what a sweet little person! congratulations, try to enjoy every moment with that sweet little baby, even the sleep-deprived ones.

Before you know it, you'll have a giant almost three-year-old who says the opposite of everything you say, to be funny. And obstinate. We remember those sleepy baby smiles and sigh ;-)
posted by pinky at 2:28 PM on November 8, 2010


not_on_display: "Mmmmm fresh baby."

You do realize that your username doesn't somehow magically preclude others from seeing your comments, right?
posted by gman at 2:32 PM on November 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'd be more worried if that was written by Astro Zombie.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:45 PM on November 8, 2010


Congrats! I like your naming matrix. Did you have any girls names picked out?

Because I got three days left to choose... eep.
posted by bdave at 3:23 PM on November 8, 2010


Congratulations!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:55 PM on November 8, 2010


well congratulations and good luck!

I know a few Jaspers now - but definitely not common. I like it.
posted by wilful at 4:04 PM on November 8, 2010


Did you have any girls names picked out?

No, because we knew his sex early on from the ultrasound - to save exactly that trouble.

I feel that girls' names are a lot more interesting & varied, anyway, so I imagine it wouldn't be as difficult for us. For example, if you want a really secular kind of name, just go with a flower! Jessamyn is a lovely example (really!), but things like Violet & Heather also spring to mind off the top of my head.

Try to do something similarly nature-based with guys' names & you end up with corny Bold & the Beautiful names: Storm, Ridge, Thorn, River, Cliff, Rock, Tree. A (semi-)precious stone seemed like a good alternative.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:24 PM on November 8, 2010


(no offence intended towards anybody named Storm, Ridge, Thorn, River, Cliff, Rock, or Tree. They're just not my pigeon)
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:25 PM on November 8, 2010


How about moons? We named our daughter after a moon of Jupiter. Of course, that moon of Jupiter was named after a Greek goddess, so we're talking a very old name here, but it's so uncommon as a modern name as to seem totally new to most everyone who hears it. And it's only got two letters, so it's very easy to spell!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:28 PM on November 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

Storm, Ridge, Thorn, River, Cliff, Rock, Tree
You know, if you wanted a mineral name, it would have been more patriotic to call your first born son "bauxite" or "anthracite" or "uranium". Chinese conglomerates aren't digging up Western Australia for some obscure Persian gem, you know.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:33 PM on November 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


things like Violet

Violet got sort of big around here a while ago along with Rose. I'm partial to Astrid and Ada for names.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:55 PM on November 8, 2010


"How about moons? We named our daughter after a moon of Jupiter"

Gotta watch that a little. "Mom and dad named me after a cow that got raped."
posted by klangklangston at 5:00 PM on November 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Chinese conglomerates aren't digging up Western Australia for some obscure Persian gem, you know.

Well, there's always Opal, but that's already been boganified by the national womens' netball or basketball team; I forget which. Plus, people hearing the name might think you're a sad fanboy of an uninspiring German automotive marque.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:09 PM on November 8, 2010


If you were a patriotic Victorian (which I know you're not) you could call him Lignite.
posted by wilful at 5:29 PM on November 8, 2010


"Mom and dad named me after a cow that got raped."

One of those ass-jittering cattle from a hiphop lyric?
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:36 PM on November 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


ZEUS INVENTED RAP
posted by klangklangston at 5:42 PM on November 8, 2010


Maybe, but he's not normally considered one of the titans of the genre.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:21 PM on November 8, 2010 [3 favorites]


Rose was discussed, and mooted.

flapjax at midnite: "How about moons? We named our daughter after a moon of Jupiter. Of course, that moon of Jupiter was named after a Greek goddess, so we're talking a very old name here, but it's so uncommon as a modern name as to seem totally new to most everyone who hears it. And it's only got two letters, so it's very easy to spell"

Hmm... I'm guessing Io? That's very pretty. I won't steal it but you've given me some inspiration...

And m'lady is a non-mefite so I'm going to try on Jessamyn now- it *is* a nice name.

posted by bdave at 6:27 PM on November 8, 2010


Darn tags not closing for me either.
posted by bdave at 6:29 PM on November 8, 2010


Hmm... I'm guessing Io?

Bingo!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:03 PM on November 8, 2010


That's weird flap, I named my dog Bingo.

Yes, Bingo is his name-o.
posted by puny human at 7:07 PM on November 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'd love to name a daughter Io, but since I'm surrounded by Ohio State Buckeye fans, everyone would think it was for this reason:

O-H!

I-O!
posted by HopperFan at 7:09 PM on November 8, 2010


Congrats, guys!
posted by joe lisboa at 10:08 PM on November 8, 2010


klangklangston: Gotta watch that a little. "Mom and dad named me after a cow that got raped."

That was Europa. Io was turned into a cow by Zeus to hide her from Hera. Zeus, apparently, had a thing for cows.
posted by Kattullus at 7:55 AM on November 9, 2010


uh... did I miss a comment from klang that got deleted, then reposted by Kalttulus? Looks like it. Wow, that was pretty jerky of you, klang. You really should be ashamed of yourself.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:08 AM on November 9, 2010


uh... did I miss a comment from klang that got deleted, then reposted by Kalttulus?

We didn't delete klang's comment.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:11 AM on November 9, 2010


"That was Europa. Io was turned into a cow by Zeus to hide her from Hera. Zeus, apparently, had a thing for cows."

Europa's a moon of Jupiter.
posted by klangklangston at 9:20 AM on November 9, 2010


Sorry. I didn't mean to start anything. I know you were talking about Europa. I was just jumping off to Zeus' weird obsession with heifers. Hera was also known as "the cow-eyed goddess" and the cow was sacred to her. It's just one of those weird things about Greek myth.
posted by Kattullus at 9:40 AM on November 9, 2010


Though there are plenty of fucked-up names that you can choose from the moons of Jupiter, since a fair passel are nymphs/women/goddesses that Jupiter tricked/forced into sex.
posted by klangklangston at 10:47 AM on November 9, 2010


Congrats!
posted by darth_tedious at 11:42 AM on November 9, 2010


Klang Klang is the sound that cowbells make. The sound that turned Zeus on so much. Nevermind the woman/cow. It was the klang klang that turned him on.

Now you know where klangklangston's name comes from.
posted by Dr. Curare at 2:30 PM on November 9, 2010


> Wow, that was pretty jerky of you, klang. You really should be ashamed of yourself.

*waits for followup comment*
posted by languagehat at 2:44 PM on November 9, 2010


Why has my baby's birthday thread turned into a flamewar about cow rape?
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:01 PM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]


Why has my baby's birthday thread turned into a flamewar about cow rape?

It's metafilter's way of saying "we love you", Ubu.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:06 PM on November 9, 2010


Because its the grey and they're taking beef with the jerky



*leaves, it seems like a good time to go offline*
posted by The Lady is a designer at 3:06 PM on November 9, 2010


Because its the grey and they're taking beef with the jerky

...aaaand we're done.
posted by jquinby at 3:26 PM on November 9, 2010


Why has my baby's birthday thread turned into a flamewar about cow rape?

Payback?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:30 PM on November 9, 2010


That's not what I thought you looked like. Where are your Jerry Seinfeld jeans and white sneakers? And glasses? And cellphone holster?
posted by anniecat at 3:30 PM on November 9, 2010


Why has my baby's birthday thread turned into a flamewar about cow rape?

It is exactly out of respect for your baby's birthday thread that I'm bowing out without another word on the subject. Sorry I posted that comment, Ubu: should've just sent klangklangston some memail.

And again, congratulations!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:31 PM on November 9, 2010


"Violet" always looks like "Violent" to me. If you're going for a cutesy name, how about "Truffle" like the mushroom or the cuter "Truffles" version? I've never heard of a stripper named Truffles (but I don't know of a CFO named "Truffles" either).

I would stick with "Jane" or "Ann."
posted by anniecat at 3:35 PM on November 9, 2010


I'm partial to Astrid and Ada for names.

I can ruin those for you easily if you want.
posted by anniecat at 3:37 PM on November 9, 2010


Payback?

Oh hey, I'm not really offended. I actually think it's amusing, and just the kind of crazy thing that happens on the grey. Just that little Jasper might wonder what we've all been smoking if he ever reads this someday.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:01 PM on November 9, 2010


By then society will consider cow-rape derails a charming novelty of the Past.
posted by The Whelk at 4:04 PM on November 9, 2010


UbuRoivas: "Just that little Jasper might wonder what we've all been smoking if he ever reads this someday."

Ummmmm... based on his comment up-thread, I was under the impression that he already was reading this.
posted by gman at 4:05 PM on November 9, 2010


Astrid was on our shortlist for our Jasper's sister but we went with Dutch royalty names instead.
posted by GuyZero at 4:09 PM on November 9, 2010


society will consider cow-rape derails a charming novelty of the Past

And Toni Morrison novels, if I remember Beloved rightly
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:15 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Oh hey, I'm not really offended. I actually think it's amusing, and just the kind of crazy thing that happens on the grey. Just that little Jasper might wonder what we've all been smoking if he ever reads this someday."

That's why you should never teach your child to read.

Just think, he'll be able to enjoy YouTube without being bothered by YouTube comments!
posted by klangklangston at 4:27 PM on November 9, 2010


check yer memail, klang
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:27 PM on November 9, 2010


On a less cow-rapey point, my sister is named Miranda. My parents at various times have claimed that they named her after the Shakespeare character, at other times, after the moon of Uranus that supposedly had just been discovered when my sister was born. What's much more likely, and supposedly they bragged about it while my mother was pregnant (and, of course, my father had hair down to his ass) was that my sister was actually named after the Supreme Court decision.

Goddamn hippies.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:29 PM on November 9, 2010


I was named at the last second cause I was SUPPOSED to be a Donald (shudder) but I came out early and my Mom pretty much put off naming me until the very last second, like nurse hovering over you going "We really, REALLY need a name for the records" and then depending on who is telling the story either Imagine came on the radio or there was something on TV or she remembered I was SUPPOSED to be born on October 9th or SOMETHING and "John!" flew out of my mom's mouth and bam, I got spared being called Don.

Seriously Don Leavitt? That is like an Italian-Irish gangster. It doesn't help that my middle name is a verb. At least I got away with only being confused with 17th century choral composers and the occasional Victorian reformist.
posted by The Whelk at 7:53 PM on November 9, 2010


Sorry for the above comment. I was high on snark and low on empathy. I don't know anyone names Jasper, but I do know the rock, and it is one of my favorites. If you look at name voyager, Jasper has been trending up in the last few years.

This "naming a baby as soon as it is born" thing is one of those weird cultural differences that take some time to get used to. Where I come from, parents have up to six months after a baby is born to register a legal name for free, beyond that it costs about $20 USD.

My family is full of stories of babies getting their definitive names based on personality traits or gestures that remind everyone of a relative, a celebrity, a literary character or just weird things like "She eats like an Ana".

I am soooo lucky I did not get the name my parents had settled on during pregnancy and instead got the name of a great grandparent I frowned like when I was 2 weeks old. The original was a fashionable name at the time, and a name that means something very specific in English: Christian.
posted by Dr. Curare at 9:01 PM on November 9, 2010


Hey, that name voyager is really interesting; I'd never seen it before. I assume the recent spike in Jaspers since 2007 would be related to the Twilight series. It's also #99 with a bullet in Australia (Victoria) - presumably because it's so cold & miserable there that people spend a lot of time reading & watching DVDs, so sooner or later they get around to Twilight once they've seen & read everything else. Also, Lignite is an awful alternative name.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:47 PM on November 9, 2010


Well done Ubu!!!! Congratulations from The Taff family.
posted by taff at 2:36 AM on November 10, 2010


Ghidorah: Miranda, the moon of Uranus, is named after Miranda, the Shakespeare character. In fact, most of the moons of Uranus are named after Shakespeare characters.

Also, Miranda, the moon of Uranus, was discovered in 1948, which makes your parents' story seem a bit suspect.
posted by madcaptenor at 6:44 AM on November 10, 2010


Baby Nate of the chiababe household would like to welcome Baby Jasper to the October 2010 birthday club!
posted by chiababe at 6:47 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is it possible for Uranus to have a moon?
posted by The Lady is a designer at 6:47 AM on November 10, 2010


Aww, chiababe, Nate is so cute!
posted by harriet vane at 6:58 AM on November 10, 2010


There's a Jasper in the Twilight books?

That fucking woman ruins everything.
posted by GuyZero at 9:18 AM on November 10, 2010


Don't worry; they won't stand the test of time, and in less than 10 years they'll be a forgotten blip on the cultural radar.

They're just appealing to a particular puritanical streak in the zeitgeist, and there's only so long anybody can keep plugging the 'noble vampire' as a metaphor for sexual abstinence before everybody gets sick to death of it.

(I haven't even picked up any of the books & I already find the conceit tedious & assume the entire (lack of) plot development is a total fait accompli once this initial framing is in place - 23 books times 800 pages apiece of "I love you so much I don't want to turn you into a vampire"? No, thanks)
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:39 AM on November 10, 2010


At least Lestat was cool. He was the only I really liked, nothing after that.
posted by The Lady is a designer at 11:41 AM on November 10, 2010


Wasn't that Anne Rice?
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:10 PM on November 10, 2010


Hanji, I was talkinga bout vampires in general.
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:21 PM on November 10, 2010


Congrats and all, but you are my muse, crush, date, and sweetheart.

This is too sudden.
posted by Dumsnill at 6:17 PM on November 10, 2010


Sorry, but that's just part & parcel of adopting a polyfilterous lifestyle.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:01 PM on November 11, 2010


for that I'm gonna enspousen you, lil ubu or no lil ubu
posted by The Lady is a designer at 2:41 PM on November 11, 2010


YAY MOAR BOOBIES!!!
posted by lil ubu at 3:20 PM on November 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


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