Minecraft FTW? November 21, 2010 12:26 PM   Subscribe


Some guy named Cortex, or is this one of those "no, it's actually a guy I know" situations?
posted by blue_beetle at 12:27 PM on November 21, 2010


It's true. I'm marrying cortex right now.
posted by heyho at 12:31 PM on November 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


I wonder if said guy's proposal was "I'll stop playing MineCraft if you marry me."
posted by griphus at 12:32 PM on November 21, 2010 [14 favorites]


What is this "Minecraft" thing I've been hearing about and how can it possibly be any more fun than smashing birds into various architecturally-unsound structures?
posted by Dr. Zira at 12:36 PM on November 21, 2010 [7 favorites]


Twitter breaks the back button now?
posted by DU at 12:40 PM on November 21, 2010 [10 favorites]


Wow, fuck twitter for doing whatever it is sites do that make it so hitting the back button just reloads the page.
posted by kavasa at 12:40 PM on November 21, 2010 [41 favorites]


I have met Cortex's wife secretariat, and she is a lovely, intelligent woman who clearly is in love with the man behind the banhammer.

I get the feeling from talking to her that if I were to propose marriage to Cortex, she would ensure my body is never found. And that's even after my wife kills me.
posted by dw at 12:43 PM on November 21, 2010 [11 favorites]


Pretty sure cortex is already married? I feel bad knowing these things about mefites, even the mods.

FTW still means "fuck the world" to me.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 12:45 PM on November 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


cortex is married. All the dudemods are married. I am now, of course, curious about who he was talking about.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:45 PM on November 21, 2010


I get the feeling from talking to her that if I were to propose marriage to Cortex, she would ensure my body is never found. And that's even after my wife kills me.

Oh yeah? Ima propose to cortex with my banjo from inside minecraft telling him how pretty he is with lyrics by A. Zombie. Take that, secretariat.
posted by special-k at 12:47 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


I am already extremely married, yes. It is actually a guy a know who is not me, who is on mefightclub and goes by beardlace and who wrote "MARRY ME" in large block letters on the surface of our minecraft server.

Which is a more complicated proposal than you might thing, because the map does not get updated in real time. So dude had to leave that message early enough that he knew it'd be included in the next map update, and then he had to wait through a series of random unexpected map generation difficulties (we have a very, very large minecraft world, which seems to stress the hell out of pretty much every bit of mapping software so far tried) which meant waiting probably a week longer than he likely expected. And then she had to find it, which, again, huge world, so I'm guessing there were hints involved, but still.

And then there was reportedly gasping and Yesing and, well, goddammit if that isn't just fantastic.

Also, I have a typo in that tweet. Goddammit.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:51 PM on November 21, 2010 [16 favorites]


a guy a know

Clearly the part of my brain responsible this specific sort of grammatical construct is just broken. Same thing I fucked up in the tweet, in a different way.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:52 PM on November 21, 2010 [7 favorites]


Yay!

Congrats, beardlace!
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:53 PM on November 21, 2010


who wrote "MARRY ME" in large block letters on the surface of our minecraft server.

like so.
posted by toomuchpete at 12:56 PM on November 21, 2010 [7 favorites]


Aren't people always saying that Minecraft is kind of like Second Wife?
posted by Secretariat at 1:00 PM on November 21, 2010 [22 favorites]


Man, honey.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:02 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Clearly the part of my brain responsible this specific sort of grammatical construct is just broken.

The A/2's were always a bit twitchy. That could never happen now with the grammar enhancers.
posted by nomadicink at 1:02 PM on November 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


Married life is very much like a series of random unexpected map generation difficulties. But it's awesome.

Congratulations, beardlace & betrothed. Geek it up for a long, long time.
posted by mintcake! at 1:06 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


What do you want to be when you grow up, little boy?
I want to be a dudemod and drive around in a big red truck with a siren.
Um.
posted by Cranberry at 1:07 PM on November 21, 2010


cortex, it's too much Cthulhu-worshippin'! Ia! Ia!
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:11 PM on November 21, 2010


OK That is pretty awesome.
posted by MrBobaFett at 1:11 PM on November 21, 2010


В Советском Союзе, минно-корабль просит вас выйти за него замуж.
posted by not_on_display at 1:19 PM on November 21, 2010 [6 favorites]


Oh, I thought this was just another spousing thread. *yawn*
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 1:22 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


So can we all congrats beardlace and talk about Minecraft?

Like, for example, Porkton needs a church now.
posted by The Whelk at 1:24 PM on November 21, 2010


a guy a know a mine
a man a plan a canal

Congrats on the betrothening!
posted by Babblesort at 1:28 PM on November 21, 2010


What is this "Minecraft" thing I've been hearing about and how can it possibly be any more fun than smashing birds into various architecturally-unsound structures?

If a version of minecraft actually makes it to iphone (there was this, but it was unofficial and ended up getting pulled), that would be freaking awesome.
posted by juv3nal at 1:32 PM on November 21, 2010


Oh, I thought this was just another spousing thread.

Well it is now! But someone a lot more suave than me is gonna have to get that rolling.
posted by stoneweaver at 1:33 PM on November 21, 2010


My pager went off, lets do this.
posted by The Whelk at 1:36 PM on November 21, 2010


Also, I have a typo in that tweet. Goddammit.

And in your post above: "It is actually a guy a know who is not me..."

Just swap the "a" in the post for the "I" in the Tweet! Problem solved! ; )
posted by ericb at 1:37 PM on November 21, 2010


and how can it possibly be any more fun than smashing birds into various architecturally-unsound structures?

If you like Angry Birds but prefer something more in the way of a metaphor for medieval class warfare, you should totally waste the next hour playing Crush the Castle 2.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:38 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Speaking of online proposals... does anyone remember this website where the guy set up a webpage with a questionnaire about the girl he wanted to propose to, and left it up in hopes the girl would eventually stumble across it and answer the questions correctly?

Did she ever see it?
posted by biochemist at 1:44 PM on November 21, 2010


В Советском Союзе, минно-корабль просит вас выйти за него замуж.

In the Soviet Union, the Mine-Ship is asking you to marry him.
posted by griphus at 1:48 PM on November 21, 2010 [4 favorites]


P.S, congrats, beardlace!

Also, a church for Porkton? When they could have an entire Vatican City?
posted by Secretariat at 1:48 PM on November 21, 2010 [4 favorites]


For those who are wondering: Secretariat is not kidding, cortex is leading a brigade of people to construct a scale model of Vatican City.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 1:52 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's gonna be awesome when it's full of zombies.

While you doozers are off making the Vat, I'm turning Porkton into a world-class destination with many opportunities for tourism revenue.
posted by The Whelk at 1:54 PM on November 21, 2010


Oh yeah? Ima propose to cortex with my banjo from inside minecraft telling him how pretty he is with lyrics by A. Zombie. Take that, secretariat

You forgot the giant donut for a ring!
posted by rtha at 1:58 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hm. And where are the lucky couple in this thread so that we may congratulate them or are we just faffing around on the grey again?
posted by The Lady is a designer at 2:02 PM on November 21, 2010


I guess this isn't the place to wonder out loud that I always thought that was the name of a famous horse, huh?
posted by The Lady is a designer at 2:03 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


correct. is your google broken?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:17 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Extremely married? Are there degrees of marriage now? Like degrees of murder? I would like to know so that the next time it comes up, I can correctly classify my own marriage. I would go with "pretty damned married" off the top of my head, but I don't want to incorrectly gauge the extremity of my marital union. Please advise.
posted by sonika at 2:26 PM on November 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


sonika: " Are there degrees of marriage now?"

Yes, due to a few awkward typos, there's now a martial art behind matrimony. I'm a first degree black belt. Here, perform these kata, break that board with your marriage.
posted by boo_radley at 2:29 PM on November 21, 2010 [4 favorites]


Please consult Chapter 14 of The Manual for a chart.
posted by nomadicink at 2:30 PM on November 21, 2010


jessamyn: " is your google broken?"

This is hardly fair; although largely forgotten now, the story of Faffing Around winning the Triple Crown in 1912 buoyed the spirits of the nation during one of America's bleaker periods.
Although Faffing Around (registered name Lady Nesbit's The Manor Squire has Forgotten Where is She and is Faffing Around in the Root Cellar) rose to meteoric heights, the animals he sired (Mucking About, Sassing Grandpa, and Wasting Time being the most notable, with Sassing Grandpa setting a then-record for PSHAA 6 month-to-yearling auctions) were never true competitors on the same level, and the aura of wonderment surrounding this champion were short lived.
posted by boo_radley at 2:40 PM on November 21, 2010 [24 favorites]


you should totally waste the next hour playing Crush the Castle 2.

Damn... damn you!
posted by lholladay at 2:53 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


I just noticed the domain name on that Minecraft map link was DTMFA.ORG

I LOLed.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:55 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


truly the most apt url for a mefi marriage proposal
posted by The Lady is a designer at 3:11 PM on November 21, 2010


Seriously, OP, if you're gonna make cortex the Jonas Brothers of Mefi...at least get your facts straight.
posted by hal_c_on at 3:55 PM on November 21, 2010


I wish I knew enough about the Jonas Brothers to make a relevant joke.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:12 PM on November 21, 2010


Do you really, though?
posted by maryr at 4:20 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


I wish I knew enough about jokes to make one about the Jonas brothers. As it stands, I'm only able to offer them high praise.
posted by item at 4:32 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Wait, the Jonas brothers were that wagon train that had to turn to cannibalism back in the old west, right?
posted by item at 4:34 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Because - and I don't say this lightly - bravo.
posted by item at 4:36 PM on November 21, 2010


Extremely married? Are there degrees of marriage now?

On Metafilter there is. Cortex has 27 spouses on his contact list.
posted by orange swan at 4:41 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


There is "married and my wife doesn't have an account" and "married and my wife DOES have an account" cortex is the latter sort of married.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:43 PM on November 21, 2010 [4 favorites]


I'm not married but they never use their account anyway.
posted by The Whelk at 4:46 PM on November 21, 2010


I'm not a doctor but I play one on TV.
posted by not_on_display at 4:53 PM on November 21, 2010


If anyone wants to marry me, I'll be sure to buy you an account here.

Limit one per person. Void where prohibited. No purchase necessary.
posted by special-k at 4:54 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm not a TV but I play doctor on one.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 4:57 PM on November 21, 2010


I play a TV, doctor, but I'm not on one.
posted by not_on_display at 4:59 PM on November 21, 2010


Doctor, it hurts when I do this.
posted by Curious Artificer at 5:03 PM on November 21, 2010


Then stop doing that.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:06 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Doctor it TVs when I do this.
posted by The Whelk at 5:06 PM on November 21, 2010


Video or it didn't happen.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:18 PM on November 21, 2010


Vimeo or it didn't YouTube
posted by The Whelk at 5:22 PM on November 21, 2010


Cortex married Minecraft.
posted by Artw at 5:26 PM on November 21, 2010


What if someone else it and there was gasping and Yesing and a boyfriend going ohshitohshitohshit in the background?
posted by shelleycat at 5:30 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah, what if someone else it?
posted by dersins at 5:51 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


accidently
posted by The Whelk at 5:55 PM on November 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


The great enspousening redux!
posted by TedW at 5:55 PM on November 21, 2010


Gah. I noticed the missing word, clicked the link to reopen this page to add the missing word, yet the word remains missing. I swear my intelligence starts to dive around this time of year and won't go back up until I've had the requisite number of days goofing around at the beach (i.e. January).
posted by shelleycat at 6:07 PM on November 21, 2010


Cortex married Minecraft.

"Reader, I crafted him."
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:10 PM on November 21, 2010 [13 favorites]


Yeah, what if someone else it?

Yes I admit. I it.
posted by special-k at 6:13 PM on November 21, 2010 [4 favorites]


In Soviet Russia Minecraft marries Cortex.
posted by special-k at 6:14 PM on November 21, 2010


You guys are nuts. cortex is just something I built in Minecraft.
posted by Mister_A at 6:36 PM on November 21, 2010


cortex is leading a brigade of people to construct a scale model of Vatican City.

Only a scale model? Weak.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:46 PM on November 21, 2010


{The Temple of Qovnsar}
posted by clavdivs at 7:01 PM on November 21, 2010


Only a scale model? Weak.

It was a matter of some debate. Ultimately, we reckoned that it'd be impossible to fit a 1:1 model within the actual vertical dimensions of the minecraft world—the dome of St. Peter's Basilica is just too goddam tall, even if we had dug down to the world's deep bedrock. And digging down to bedrock would have involved removing something on the order of 48 million cubic meters of material from the dig site.

So we're doing 1:2 instead, a bit above sealevel, and possibly fudging the construction of St. Peter's a bit to fit it all under the world's ceiling. As it is, I'd guess we ended up removing about a million cubic meters just to flatten out the dig site.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:08 PM on November 21, 2010


I'm startin' a union, demanding you give your workers a decent living wage and health and dental, you fucker!
posted by not_on_display at 7:13 PM on November 21, 2010


Of course googling for "1:1 scale model" gets you nerdy minecraft videos.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:17 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


we reckoned that it'd be impossible to fit a 1:1 model within the actual vertical dimensions of the minecraft world

Look, you, don't bring facts into it.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:39 PM on November 21, 2010


Mmmmm yessssss. I kind of thought cortex was already married, but I spoused him just to be sure.
posted by cavalier at 7:54 PM on November 21, 2010


None of you are married to me yet and I should mention I own a Lute Cat.
posted by The Whelk at 8:11 PM on November 21, 2010


Goddamnit.

Well, that was fun. I imagine I should actually get some work done today.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:29 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


ONE OF US GHIDORAH


ONE OF US.
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


So we did a little research and it would totally be possible to dock a scale model of the USS Enterprise (D) in Vatican City built to the same scale. So somebody had better get on that.
posted by Secretariat at 8:41 PM on November 21, 2010 [4 favorites]


Thanks everyone for the congrats.

I originally had more ambition plans. After a few nights making letters, I realized the limitations of my abilities. That's why it's not a twenty foot high question with pixel art. I'm just glad it faces the right way.
posted by beardlace at 9:00 PM on November 21, 2010 [4 favorites]


You got PORKTON MESSAGE BOARD thanks man, like it don't get better then that.
posted by The Whelk at 9:02 PM on November 21, 2010


METAFILTER: EXTREMELY MARRIED
posted by loquacious at 9:12 PM on November 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


I AM SO FUCKING MARRIED I NEED A SERIES OF CHARTS TO EXPLAIN IT
posted by The Whelk at 9:13 PM on November 21, 2010 [7 favorites]


This thread has amazing syntactical and semantic errors strewn throughout.
posted by boo_radley at 9:24 PM on November 21, 2010


"All the dudemods are married."

So does that mean we should all start pinching Jessamyn and teasing her, "You're next"?
posted by Jacqueline at 10:00 PM on November 21, 2010


Probably not. I've been on the other end of that, and it just really gets old so much faster than you would ever believe.
posted by stoneweaver at 10:06 PM on November 21, 2010


a 1:1 model
Also, if it was 1:1 it wouldn't really be a model now, would it? It would be a copy.
posted by dg at 10:12 PM on November 21, 2010


Can you build a 1:1 model of a modern major general?
posted by arto at 10:46 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


I guess that would be a copy of a model of a modern major general.
posted by dg at 11:49 PM on November 21, 2010


cortex is leading a brigade of people to construct a scale model of Vatican City.

While not a Minecraft aficionado by any means, colour me duly impressed.

And while docking the Enterprise there would be mega-awesome, I'd go with the Millennium Falcon for no other reason than how much Ratzinger reminds me of a Sith Lord...
posted by romakimmy at 3:55 AM on November 22, 2010


Congratulations beardlace! That is totally awesome.

And back to the topic at hand, I tried logging on to do some demolishing of mountains for the Vatican City site, but I kept lagging out, which reminded me I should eat something*, and then I remembered I had to clean the house before my wife got home, which is why I wasn't able to log back in to help out. And now I've probably missed it, as I'm sure you guys leveled that last mountain by now.

* - Because, you know, lag = food
posted by Grither at 3:55 AM on November 22, 2010


So does that mean we should all start pinching Jessamyn and teasing her, "You're next"?

I am confident that AskMe would give you the proper answer to this question.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:39 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]


you should totally waste the next hour playing Crush the Castle 2.

Note to self: quit reading the grey when you have actual work to do.
posted by catlet at 6:16 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


You may ask another question in: 0 days, 8 hours, 20 minutes, and 25 seconds.
posted by nomadicink at 6:31 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


Note to self: quit reading the grey when you have actual work to do.
posted by catlet at 8:16 AM on November 22


Ditto
posted by patheral at 7:08 AM on November 22, 2010


I'm a one-to-one model of a Modern Major General
My hands are made of dirt and stone my feet are made of some gravel
I'm forged by Minecraft players with a love of things mathematical
Also a tenured professor who now is on sabbatical

Because my size is realistic I'm really not that practical
For hiding from the creepers when they want to engage in-battle
I've got some redstone powder saved to make a life-sized Moth-er-a

(Mothera? My dear general, I believe it's pronounced "Mothra")

Or to stage the next production by the great D'Oyly Carte Opera!

To stage the next production by the great D'Oyly Carte Opera!
To stage the next production by the great D'Oyly Carte Opera!
To stage the next production by the great D'Oyly Carte Oper, Oper-a!

posted by SpiffyRob at 7:20 AM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]


+-----------------------------------+
|   DO NOT PINCH THE UNMARRIED MOD  |
|                                   |
|   thank you                       |
|         - management              |
+-----------------------------------+
                 ||
                 ||
     [!]   {@}   ||  [+]
 ,/.,\|/.,.\|/,.,||.,\|/.,,.,./.,,\,.,.
posted by not_on_display at 10:06 AM on November 22, 2010 [7 favorites]


not_on_display is clearly implying that we should pinch him instead.
posted by amro at 10:16 AM on November 22, 2010


[and now we bring you a message from our sponsors]
posted by The Lady is a designer at 10:24 AM on November 22, 2010


> And while docking the Enterprise there would be mega-awesome, I'd go with the Millennium Falcon for no other reason than how much Ratzinger reminds me of a Sith Lord...

There was mention of blending the Vatican construction with Mos Eisley - but I think it got tabled.
posted by m@f at 10:29 AM on November 22, 2010


How about Draco's Tavern ?
posted by The Lady is a designer at 10:54 AM on November 22, 2010


*punches not_on_display*

Oh. Pinches. Whoops.
posted by rtha at 11:06 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


MARRIED MARRIED MARRIED
posted by two lights above the sea at 12:54 PM on November 22, 2010


It's OK, you can punch me, as I am not a mod. WARNING: not_on_display may curl up into fetal position after punched.
posted by not_on_display at 1:10 PM on November 22, 2010


*pats not_on_display*
posted by rtha at 1:14 PM on November 22, 2010


burrrrp
posted by not_on_display at 1:47 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


Is this why one of those minecraft threads went from 7 new comments to like 70 new comments in half an hour?
posted by absalom at 5:20 PM on November 22, 2010


No, apparently that was some shit about labeling boxes. Fucking minecraft.
posted by absalom at 5:30 PM on November 22, 2010


minecraft will expand to fill all other threads because minecraft will expand to fill all other threads because
posted by The Whelk at 5:35 PM on November 22, 2010


I do not minecraft. No one will marry ME!!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:14 PM on November 22, 2010


I just woke up from a dream where everybody married minecraft and...well, long story short, after a server failure, a humble nudibranch became more desparately sought after than Susan in the 80s
posted by Sparx at 1:06 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm glad it didn't get damaged by the arsonist.
"So... who is ARPY MF?"
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:51 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Also congratulations
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:52 PM on November 23, 2010


Anyone still contemplating buying Minecraft, the Beta is being released 12/20. If you buy while still Alpha, it's (a) cheaper, and (b) you get all future updates free. So, if you're on the fence, go for it in the next nine days.
posted by inigo2 at 12:22 PM on December 11, 2010


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