Thank You Secret Quonsar! December 1, 2010 12:23 PM   Subscribe

I would like to thank my Secret Quonsar and invite others to as well and bask in the schmoopy.

We've already had some cool weirdness with Secret Quonsar, and last night I had my own fabulous encounter. I was feverishly editing a paper for my grad apps and discovered an important source in the paper wasn't in the bibliography. And then I discovered that I had NO IDEA WHERE I HAD GOTTEN THE QUOTATION. Well, after tearing my apartment apart and on the verge of just giving up on the whole thing including applications, I received an email. My Quonsar had emailed me the pattern to the Alice in Wonderland mittens I had been lusting for 2 years. I was still on the verge of tears, but after seeing that, I took a breath. I sat down. And while it took an hour, I FOUND THE ORIGINAL SOURCE OF THE QUOTATION. So thank you Secret Quonsar for the awesome gift AND the spectacular timing. Your gift really did keep on giving.

tl;dr I just want to thank my quonsar for being totally awesome and hopefully invite others to do the same. (Also thank you Julen for organizing and Indigorain for helping as I know it was a nightmare there for a while)
posted by miss-lapin to MetaFilter-Related at 12:23 PM (143 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

It is a wonderful thing
posted by clavdivs at 12:34 PM on December 1, 2010

So, do we get to see the mittens?!
posted by chatongriffes at 12:47 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Gotta knit em first. I'm not QUITE that fast with a pair, but I'll be sure to feature them proudly on my flickr page when I do! (Of course now I'm thinking I gotta make the matching jackalope cowl!)
posted by miss-lapin at 12:57 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dang, I was hoping the pattern included a picture of the finished product...

*also a knitter
posted by chatongriffes at 1:01 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh I'm such a dolt, I thought you meant the ones I am gonna make. (Brain fried.) Here ya go.
posted by miss-lapin at 1:05 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Those are incredibly awesome mittens.
posted by sciencegeek at 1:27 PM on December 1, 2010

the capital 'q' just sears my retinas.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 1:28 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

the capital 'q' just sears my retinas.

I bet you think this post is about you.
posted by loquacious at 1:32 PM on December 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

Love this flickr shot of the mittens too.
posted by bearwife at 1:43 PM on December 1, 2010

I bet you think this post is about you. --- He had us several years ago, when we were still quite naive.
posted by crunchland at 2:45 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Those are some lust-worthy mittens.
posted by theora55 at 3:50 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Those are indeed awesome mittens. Now I want to knit them.
posted by patheral at 4:35 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Who is your Quonsar? Or is it taboo to say? Are we allowed to "out" ourselves in the giftee's note?
posted by radioamy at 4:46 PM on December 1, 2010

I do not know who my quonsar is, but I would like to know so s.q. feel free to memail me.
posted by miss-lapin at 5:27 PM on December 1, 2010

It is up to the giver to decide whether or not they want to reveal themselves. Some are quasi-forced to by customs or vendors directly shipping; others like to preserve the mystery, like a few of the second chance quonsar gifters from last year.
posted by julen at 5:27 PM on December 1, 2010

In other news, we could always have an Alice in Wonderland KAL on rav if you like.
posted by miss-lapin at 5:27 PM on December 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

holy crap those mittens
posted by ifjuly at 6:05 PM on December 1, 2010

Those are magnificent mittens and your SQ is also magnificent.
posted by angiep at 7:05 PM on December 1, 2010

I'm so jealous. My giftee has given no preferences, and reading their posts/comments are no help whatsoever because I know what they're into, but I don't know what they've got or what they want or what they'd love. I'm stumped.

If you get a big jar of Vegemite for Christmas... it was me.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 8:03 PM on December 1, 2010

I got my quonsmas gift today, and was prepared to post here joking about the "lustrous and attractive set of balls" I received. But then I got to trying them out and you know what? It's just too cool for crass innuendo.

Each ball has its own two poles which tend to sort themselves out, so from a globular mass of them (which molds like Play-Doh) you can peel off loops and chains easily. And if you get two strands of opposite poles, you can make them wiggle around like snakes! I almost got it permanently stuck to my fridge (neodymium's a hell of a drug), but it's all good now.

So thanks, Diagonalize! This is delightful. Now, to take care of my quonsee...
posted by Rhaomi at 8:04 PM on December 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

Every time a bell rings, look in your pants to find an awesome pair of mittens from Quonsonar. And a fish.

Atta boy, Clarence.
posted by allkindsoftime at 10:05 PM on December 1, 2010 [6 favorites]

My giftee still hasn't filled out the address portion of their Elfster profile. Is it kosher to email them through Metafilter and ask them for it?
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:30 PM on December 1, 2010

Awesome, Rhaomi! I saw that ball thing somewhere on the internet a few days ago and thought they looked pretty fun but couldn't justify spending the money on it. I'm totally jealous. I filled out my Elfster profile with a lot of info so I'm excited to see what my giftor got me.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:33 PM on December 1, 2010

...the ones I am gonna make.

To queue. Click.

posted by SLC Mom at 10:55 PM on December 1, 2010

Not to make MaryDellamorte any more jealous, but after some tinkering the original 6x6x6 cube of balls now looks like this and it is SO GREAT.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:00 PM on December 1, 2010

Damn, I might just have to buy me one of those nifty things. I'm a fidgeter so I think this would be the perfect little gadget.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 11:02 PM on December 1, 2010

My quonsar got me a motherfucking doughnut pan! For making doughnuts! In the oven! This is awesome!

Inspired by the meetup where we had doughnut holes with a cube of pork belly in the middle, glazed with a maple bourbon glaze. They were amazing!

I am the luckiest quonsee in the world.
posted by mollymayhem at 12:07 AM on December 2, 2010 [2 favorites]

So, miss-lapin, do you know where the pattern came from? My best friend is besotted with all things Alice and has a big birthday coming up. I'd love to knit those mittens for her.
posted by cooker girl at 7:50 AM on December 2, 2010

My mom used to have a set of balls like that. It came with a heavy round black magnetic base. Then, at some point someone got her a set of... little magnetic meta people and little magnetic metal bars. You could play barrel of monkeys with the people and bars all jumbled together. I used to love that thing. I'll have to find and buy some, that's awesome.
posted by Night_owl at 8:00 AM on December 2, 2010

MaryDellamorte: "My giftee still hasn't filled out the address portion of their Elfster profile. Is it kosher to email them through Metafilter and ask them for it"

If worst comes to worst! If you, or anyone would like me to mail and ask their quonsee for info (address, mefi handle, wishlist guidance, what their sign is, whether they would object to a alien takeover of the US National Park System), I'm always glad to do it - I've been doing batch of questions twice a day, and it preserves the mystery for a while.
posted by julen at 8:14 AM on December 2, 2010

OK, I'll out myself as miss-lapin's (no longer) Secret Quonsar, so I can let the rest of you know:

1. Here is her mitten pattern link

2. Pattern comes only via pdf so vendor needs an email address

3. I already copied miss-lapin's happy post to the vendor, to let her know what happiness she created.

And, miss-lapin, there's one more small giftee headed your way.
posted by bearwife at 8:45 AM on December 2, 2010 [6 favorites]

bearwife, you are a rock star. I say this as an IRL friend of miss-lapin (who is having a beastly week of writing and grading, and whose day was made so much better by the receipt of her gift), and as a knitter who, as soon as final exams are over, will be buying that pattern herself. Those mittens are superb. Very well done indeed.
posted by bakerina at 8:52 AM on December 2, 2010 [2 favorites]

Miss-Lapin has one of the best lists of potential gifts I've ever seen! I was a happy SQ when I saw it. But thanks bakerina, you made me blush.
posted by bearwife at 10:28 AM on December 2, 2010

I will also be buying that pattern as soon as I have two nickels to rub together.

I received notice that my gift is on the way, I'm happy!
posted by patheral at 12:24 PM on December 2, 2010

yay vegemite! Mine went out from Amazon yesterday ...
posted by darsh at 12:38 PM on December 2, 2010

I'm shipping out my gift to my quonsee tomorrow.

I hope they like it, because I could NOT figure out what they would like to receive, so I'm just freewheeling it!
posted by Julnyes at 1:35 PM on December 2, 2010

Got my gift today! I got a tiny Build Your Own Stonehenge for my desk and a Space Invaders ice cube tray. Thank you Secret Quonsar! I feel weird knowing your real name and address, but not your MeFi name... Also, Michigan needs a meet-up soon.

And thank you, OP, for introducing me to this fabulous designer! That Jasper Wrap is now top of my queue.
posted by MaritaCov at 3:19 PM on December 2, 2010

MaritaCov: I am your not-so-Secret-anymore Quonsar. ^_^ I'm glad the ice cube tray came in especially handy and that you have fun with your Stonehenge!
posted by royalsong at 5:00 PM on December 2, 2010

Is there a link to the desk stonehenge?
posted by miss-lapin at 8:35 AM on December 3, 2010

Build Your Own Stonehenge Kit
posted by royalsong at 8:53 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Well shucks, I wandered in here to admire those gorgeous mittens and instead I find myself feeling like a secret quonsar rockstar. (blush) You're totally welcome, Rhaomi. I think my gift is currently en route, so right now I'm going to bask in the schmoopy and continue nursing my perpetual crush on Metafilter.
posted by Diagonalize at 2:11 PM on December 3, 2010

hahaha! I asked for one of those stonehenge kits too, I wonder if I'll get it!
posted by IndigoRain at 10:44 PM on December 3, 2010

I can not believe that I have maybe turned into someone who is easy to shop for. Either that or Divka knows the path straight to my heart. Thank you! My sq box o' loot is in the mail today.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:38 AM on December 4, 2010

Hi Julnyes! I was not helpful at all, I know. But the Speculoos spread is perfect! I've never had it and it will now be going on every dessert I make. Thank you!!
posted by anthropoid at 9:34 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Anthropoid - I'm glad you like it! and look at the USPS delivering something in one day!
posted by Julnyes at 10:34 AM on December 4, 2010

Jessamyn: Hooray, I'm glad you liked it!
posted by divka at 10:51 AM on December 4, 2010

Thanks to thejanna for my awesome Tardis Handbook! Hopefully Santa will bring me that blue box I've been hoping for.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:31 AM on December 4, 2010

Wow, did I get a quonsarlicious surprise just now! Some incredibly delicious hot-chocolate-pops from City Girl Chocolates. So awesome! My daughters and I of course immediately opened them up and are enjoying some even as I type. Three thumbs up! Most excellent gift.

So, thanks very much to my as-yet-unrevealed quonsee. I'd love to be able to thank you directly, but if you prefer to remain a mystery, I respect that too--just so long as you know that you totally rock. :)
posted by Sublimity at 11:51 AM on December 4, 2010

My Secret Quonsar seems to have been ordained by the universe to have known about and chosen a gift that simply could not be more welcome or more perfect for me - a compilation of roots music holiday songs from blues to fiddle tunes to Italian and calypso songs. It's truly amazing, satisfying both my endless greed for roots music and my schlocky devotion to holiday tunes. And an added bonus has been discovering the amazing company that produces these records and also some great documentaries, Dust to Digital. Thanks a million, grabbingsand!

Had fun picking out my Quonsar present; it's going into the mail tomorrow.
posted by Miko at 8:46 AM on December 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

Present was mailed out today, and I got a message from my quonsar saying mine should arrive soon. SO! EXCITED!
posted by piratebowling at 1:07 PM on December 5, 2010

Now my stuff is sent (or will be by the vendors I ordered it from) and I feel good about myself again! Yay!

A pre-thank-you to my SQ: I plan to open my gifts on Christmas Day, and it seems a shame to make them wait so long!
posted by SMPA at 7:58 PM on December 5, 2010

My quonsee is enjoying his new cookbook (did I just out myself? why, yes!). Very happy he likes it. Still patiently awaiting my own SQ gift.

Also, thanks to julen, indigorain, and anyone else that helped to organize it this year. I know it wasn't easy.
posted by schleppo at 6:47 AM on December 6, 2010

I would like to apologise to a Quonsee for the late delivery of their Quonsing. I only just shipped it. It is going a very long way away.
posted by davemee at 7:51 AM on December 6, 2010

THANK YOU, secret quansar!

Quonsee, I hope you like your gift... when I get it and can ship it to you. :( So sorry you don't have it yet!
posted by saveyoursanity at 10:34 AM on December 6, 2010

Got my Quonsar packet into the mail, and it was SUPER DRAMATIC! Because someone broke out of the county jail AND someone else robbed a local bank -- at the same time! So there were helicopters and police vans everywhere and I walked home kind of cringing in case some fugitive leaped out! I shit you not! MERRY QUONSAR!
posted by Miko at 10:38 AM on December 6, 2010 [3 favorites]

I got an awesome hat from my SQ. In blue (my favorite color) and handmade (I love handmade stuff). Particularly awesome as it just got super cold here over the last few days. Thank you, Secret Quonsar!
posted by gemmy at 10:53 AM on December 6, 2010

Just sent my Quonsee her gift today - it's got a looong way to go so I hope it gets there before Christmas!

Can't wait to see what my SQ got me!
posted by ukdanae at 10:55 AM on December 6, 2010

I have received a rather ominous message via Elfster, complete with a "Mwaaa-ha-ha!"

I'm so excited!
posted by JoanArkham at 11:23 AM on December 6, 2010 [2 favorites]

OMG! I got a mysterious package from Illinois with toffee pretzels, spiced sugar and deep dish pizza pizzaz. The pretzels are SO GOOD and the spices will be put to good use soon. Dear secret quonsar, thank you and UNMASK YOURSELF!
posted by piratebowling at 3:04 PM on December 6, 2010

I can now rescue my plants by peeing on them like a professional. I have a book! AND, I'd just returned home from the market where I purchased very healthy dietish everything, and I was whining at myself because what about CHOCOLATE, and there, near the book about peeing on plants was CHOCOLATE! AND, something to do with bowling ladies!! I love bowling.

Finally and most importantly, my SQ's username, teseractive, has always been one of my favorites because it reminds me of my all-time favorite girlhood book.

Thank you, tesseractive.
posted by thinkpiece at 4:27 PM on December 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

I received a fabulous gift! A Bill Bryson book ("At Home") that I hadn't read yet, and wasn't on the wish list I had shared with family--so no chance of it being a duplicate come the pagan feast. The odds of getting one of Bryson's books I hadn't read or asked for were minuscule (since I own or have read most of his canon), but somehow happened.

Secret quonsar, is there nothing you can't do? Thanks digdoug!

(I also "cheated" on my own gift--it went out priority mail today because I was too lazy to find my own box. The extra postage is my "lazy tax.")
posted by maxwelton at 4:33 PM on December 6, 2010

Dear quonsar, thank you for getting me a million things related to creamsicles, and thank you very much for not choosing my gifts based on this post.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:11 PM on December 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

No need to panic if you've missed the deadline. I'm still waiting on everything to make its way to me so I can send it out to my giftee.
posted by IndigoRain at 7:03 PM on December 6, 2010

I got an awesome package in the mail today from my secret quonsar. It was full of all kinds of tea-related greatness! And a brand new squeaky tennis ball for my dog! A very big thank you to specialagentwebb.
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:33 PM on December 6, 2010

Technically this may be impossible according to all known laws of physics, but my Secret Quonsar is even more amazing than initially reported. In addition to the previously described delicious cleverness of the hot cocoa pops, I now have an incredibly cool coffee mug from which to drink my hot cocoa.

Wait! you say, what's so cool about your coffee mug?


Yes, my coffee mug has tentacles. The handle? A tentacle.

If you all only knew how much I love octopuses. And coffee. And chocolate, even.

My Secret Quonsar? She or he knew.

I'm totally delighted with my presents. Thanks Secret Quonsar, you are the best!!
posted by Sublimity at 8:24 PM on December 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

Piratebowling, glad you're enjoying your spices and the pretzels!! As far as the spiced sugar, may I be so bold as to suggest snickerdoodles? Also excellent on freshly popped popcorn. Do enjoy - I had so much fun wandering around Spice House looking for fun things!
posted by honeybee413 at 8:31 PM on December 6, 2010

I got my gift today!!

Thank you so very much to rangefinder 1.4, who sent me a selection of wonderful California-related things. There was In-N-Out Burger paraphernalia and a funky fridge magnet and some delicious green tea. Well, one was delicious, I haven't tried the other yet.

So awesome, thanks again, rangefinder 1.4!!
posted by gaspode at 8:35 PM on December 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

MaryDellamorte, if you haven't already bought the cube of magnets, woot is having a today only sale, 2 silver sets for $35 mailed.
posted by royalsong at 6:19 AM on December 7, 2010

I purposely left my wishlist blank because I wanted to see what cool stuff my quonsar would send of his own initiative, which ended up being both a good and a bad idea. The robot bug is fucking awesome, but I already owned the Zombie Survival Guide, unfortunately. No worries, though - I'm going to pass the book along to my giftee on top of what I'm already getting her.

Thank you so much Andrew, whoever you are.
posted by JimBennett at 10:26 AM on December 7, 2010

Thank you dear Secret Quonsar! The back stretcher thingie that I asked for will be much used. I sit in an office chair all day and have long wished for something to strectch with!
posted by lampshade at 1:54 PM on December 7, 2010

Actually, my SQ was Foxinsocks. I just noticed the note that came in the box.
posted by lampshade at 1:59 PM on December 7, 2010

OOH! I have to thank mlle valentine for sending me the sort of knitting book I've always wanted but never got around to buying myself. Cute little knit amigurumi! I totally want to knit up an anglerfish ASAP.
posted by divka at 2:38 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

divka-as a fellow knitter, pics please
posted by miss-lapin at 2:53 PM on December 7, 2010

I, too, have an awesome Secret Quonsar! I got a pretty snazzy looking travel coffee mug, and a book of XKCD comics. Both of those will be put to great use. I couldn't find your Mefi name on the packing slip, but a huge thank you to a gift-giver in Texas :)
posted by Zaximus at 4:05 PM on December 7, 2010

This is the amigurumi book--you can see the anglerfish on the cover!
posted by divka at 4:27 PM on December 7, 2010

Just received my SQ gift! Thanks MrMoonPie for the awesome CIA trickery manual. It will come in handy next month when I travel to [REDACTED] where I will [REDACTED] with [REDACTED].

Merry Secret Quonsar to all!
posted by schleppo at 6:17 AM on December 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Thank you, mystery Quonsar, for the hand-carved wooden owl trio and scorpion lollipop!
posted by usonian at 11:57 AM on December 8, 2010

It happened that, the other day, I was musing about what my sekrit quonsar could get me, and I thought to myself, "cookie cutters would be nice." And lo! And behold! Not just cookie cutters, COOKIE CUTTERS OF SCIENCE!
posted by zennie at 2:03 PM on December 8, 2010 [3 favorites]

Aha. I didn't know which wonderful mefite got me such a thoughtful gift, but I now strongly suspect they are reading this thread!

Thank you :)
posted by zennie at 3:37 PM on December 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Divka: glad you liked it and hope you will knit some excellent creatures!
posted by mlle valentine at 4:40 PM on December 8, 2010

My quonsar gifted me with some gorgeous violet skeins and a pink-with-an-undertone-of-purple skein of yarn and two charming knitted miniature ornaments - a stocking and a little sweater that I promptly tried on all of my other xmas ornaments and decorations until a little glass bunny and a wooden santa got into a fight over who would get to wear it. (Santa won).

My only problem is that I can't decide what to turn it into! Ravelry has given me way too many ideas. Curse you, options! Curse you!

Seriously though - Thank You, Secret quonsar! It is awesome (loved the card, too), and as soon as I am done with my Christmas knitting, I will totally enjoy knitting something for myself! In the meantime, I'm keeping them next to my chair so that I can totally enjoy looking at them.
posted by julen at 5:55 PM on December 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

My Quonsar got me ... I'm not sure what it is, but it's remarkably peculiar. Also, it is totally awesome. It's going up on my bookcase, and when people ask me what 'MetaFilter' is, I'm going to point at it and explain that it came from MetaFilter, because MeFi is like that.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:29 PM on December 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

Also, LEGOS!
posted by rmd1023 at 6:30 PM on December 8, 2010

I stopped by my PO Box at lunch today and received an awesome surprise - My secret quonsar sent me the most adorable, delicious tea set!! Thank you so much to whoever you are - I can't think of anything better on a blustery winter day than a cup of hot tea!
posted by bahama mama at 11:50 AM on December 9, 2010

Part one of my two(?) part gift has arrived, but I'm not supposed to open it until Christmas. Hmm, they do have an x-ray machine here at work...
posted by JoanArkham at 12:43 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hooray for my Secret Quonsar! I love it! I keep picking up a utili-key and then deciding for one reason or another not to get it for myself, and putting it back. But now I have one! Delightful. Thank you.
posted by galadriel at 3:04 PM on December 9, 2010

I got my gift today and it's just what I need! Everything coffee, nothing electric, and things I was going to buy myself when I have money. Thank you, secret Quonsar!

Also, sponges! ^_^
posted by patheral at 3:08 PM on December 9, 2010

I mailed out my gift today. Merry Quonmas!!!
posted by Go Banana at 5:39 PM on December 9, 2010

I got my quonsing late last night, and it was good! Thanks so much for the thoughtful gift and handwritten card, drlith.
posted by heyho at 8:27 AM on December 10, 2010


(The card was a particularly beautiful touch)
posted by ZakDaddy at 10:37 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

PSA - If you live in Syracuse or surrounding area, you SQ may be delayed.

posted by lampshade at 10:48 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

I sure hope my Quonsee gets their gift soon. Mailed it Monday, should've arrived! *nail biting*
posted by Miko at 10:58 AM on December 10, 2010

lampshade: "PSA - If you live in Syracuse or surrounding area, you SQ may be delayed."

Hey, I live in Syracuse. I'm sure it'll be okay whomever the quonsee may be. We're used to waiting for the occasional thaw.
posted by maurice at 1:38 PM on December 10, 2010

Yay my Secret Quonsar sent me Legos! ^_^ I haven't had Legos since I was like 8 years old. It's a designed set of a castle tower with little knights and a siege engine! I'm going to start building right away.

Thank you bondcliff!

(and how cool is it that bondcliff and I share the same birthday? Such a small world where my giftee is in the same state as me and my gifter has the same birthday)
posted by royalsong at 1:50 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Thank you so much Secret Quonsar! I got a wonderful homebrewing clock which is going to be put to good use in the mead making area of my basement.
posted by maurice at 3:56 PM on December 10, 2010

Ooh I also got goodies from the Spice House! Himalayan Pink Salt, Garden Salad Seasoning, and amazingly vibrant Pure Tomato Powder. I'm so excited to come up with all of the new things to cook and bake!! Thank you Secret Quonsar, I hope you got the baby monkey you asked for.
posted by sweetmarie at 5:21 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

I have been Quonsed by cabingirl! She sent me a Lush Winter Warmer gift - not only does it contain products that are new to me, but one of said products (Glogg shower gel) is the one I have been absolutely dying to try! Thank you so much!
posted by SisterHavana at 9:11 PM on December 10, 2010

A package arrived from the Internets--with a little help from cobaltnine. Perfect timing, as it was the day we decorated the Christmas tree, so the straw garland could go right on (and it's always the right time for chocolate!) What are the chances of getting paired up with another person with a grad degree in anthropology? (answer: probably higher on MeFi than in the real world). T'anks, secret quonsar!
posted by drlith at 11:22 AM on December 11, 2010

YAY! I finally got my Mr. P Be Happy desktop trash can that I've been wanting for like 3 years! WOOHOO! Thank you Secret Quonsar, whoever you are!
posted by IndigoRain at 12:43 PM on December 11, 2010

My quonsee should be receiving their gift soon. Hope they enjoy it! :D
posted by biochemist at 3:07 AM on December 12, 2010

My secret quonsar is awesome, and sent me awesome things. And detailed instructions on how to open the awesome things.

Also, she used plastic bags as packaging material, and I live in 'no free plastic bags EVAR' land, so I can always use some extra plastic bags.
posted by jacquilynne at 12:33 PM on December 12, 2010

I got a message via Julen that my secret quonsar has apologised for the delay. Hey, no drama, whoever you are. Don't stress. (I'm stressing enough through this 'festive season' for both of us!)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 5:27 PM on December 12, 2010

OH HAI is this the thread where we talk about how badass our Seekrit Quonsars are? Because mine is not only badass, s/he is SUPER SEEKRIT.

Some clues:

1. This very cool Chinese eggs which changes colour
3. A "Reading is Sexy!" bumper sticker
4. A "Make Stuff Not War" bottle opener
5. And a hemp lip balm in a pear treeeee.

Thank you so much, random Internet person from North Carolina! May your Quonsmas be bright! :)
posted by arachnid at 9:36 PM on December 12, 2010

Dudes, I now have my very own Rex Libris statue and poster! I am totally the envy of all the other librarians.

Thanks, mystery quonsar!
posted by exceptinsects at 11:24 PM on December 12, 2010

Wow. I don't believe in psychics, but I think my quonsar might just about be one.

The lovely parcel that arrived today from halfway round the world, from someone I've never met, contained the new toy I was only yesterday contemplating buying for myself.

I now own a mandolin. A green one, which I shall use to slice all sorts of things, starting now, even though it's after 11pm here.


(And thanks too to julen and Indigorain for organising).
posted by une_heure_pleine at 4:26 AM on December 13, 2010

lagreen is AWESOME, and she caused a funny mystery that resulted in EVEN MORE AWESOME! Check this out:

I have been known, on multiple occasions (such as this one) to recommend Melt, a grilled cheese restaurant here in one of the inner suburbs of Cleveland, to visitors and locals alike. It is awesome.

As some of you know, I have a small publishing company. We're about to expand into a different area (food-related books), and I'd sent the owner of Melt a letter in September saying hey, wanna do a book? No reply. So, the other day, I walk into my studio/office and find a hand-addressed business-size envelope on the floor from Melt. I get incredibly excited, thinking OOOH HE'S FINALLY WRITTEN ME BACK! and open it to find a gift card and a sticker.

No note.
No nothin'.

Now I'm a little worried. Is this the cheese equivalent of a horse head in the bed? A thanks-but-no-thanks fuck off equivalent? A "yay, yes!"-and-then-I-forgot-to-put-the-note-in situation? WHAT? I am confused.

This weekend I'm running a big craft show here in town and the owner of Melt comes in. I end up talking to him and saying hey, what's with the mystery gift card? was that a yes or a no? He gives me a funny look. We establish that he thought he'd already written me back about the book situation, and plan to email each other this week.

This morning he let me know who sent it, and it was the delightful lagreen! So thank you both for the gift card AND for moving this conversation with the awesome Mr. Melt along!
posted by at 9:46 AM on December 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

Hey bitter-girl, so glad you liked the gift, and (although it was for the best) sorry for the mystery! I had no idea how to say "here's your secret quonsar" or "from the internet" or any way of explaining, since there was no space for, like a gift tag with the gift card since I ordered it online. But, yay! I'm so glad it worked out, and happy eating! :)
posted by lagreen at 9:50 AM on December 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

I can't tell which messages are for me, which messages are for someone else, and which messages are for everyone on Elfster. I'm just going to keep on pretending I've sent 100 gifts out instead.
posted by davemee at 10:12 AM on December 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

My gift should arrive any time, if it hasn't yet - it will be sadly anonymous, as I did not want to harass the vendor with coy note-writing tomfoolery in addition to int'l shipping. I hope it arrives soon, safe, and is as nice in person as it looked online!
posted by Lou Stuells at 1:31 PM on December 13, 2010

Something to remember for international quonsars who like to surprise people... goddamned customs forms made me describe the contents. And I think the goddamned customs forms get stuck to the outside of the parcel.

I apologise in advance for the destroyed anticipation.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:48 PM on December 13, 2010

And can I also have a whinge about the US postal system? I sent one parcel to the US and one to Canada. The US parcel had an extra $9 surcharge because it was over 435 grams. The bloke at Aussie Post apologised and explained that it's a US postal charge. Canada is further away from me, but the US parcel cost more to send (and it weighed less). WTF?!?
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:57 PM on December 13, 2010

Apparently the Americans are balancing their postal karma by screwing over you Aussies, because it routinely costs me less to send packages from Canada to America than it costs me to send packages within my own province in Canada.
posted by jacquilynne at 3:07 PM on December 13, 2010

I have received a glass for the purpose of drinking Beryllium and Erbium. I will fill it and enjoy eating chili, drinking Be Er and watching football. Thank you quonsar.
posted by sciencegeek at 4:45 PM on December 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

My Secret Quonsar is basically the best person in the world. I got:

A Phoenix statuette, to go with my longer "Phire Phoenix" handle.
A pair of adorable shamrock earrings
posted by Phire at 7:34 PM on December 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Thank you secret quonsar! The amusing note and equally amusing puzzle playhouse are much appreciated :)
posted by millions of peaches at 8:36 PM on December 13, 2010

May your Quonsmas be bright! :)
posted by arachnid

Any chance this spectacular phrase could be made into a Mefi t-shirt next year?
posted by malibustacey9999 at 3:20 AM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

une_heure_pleine: "I now own a mandolin."

Please be careful. ColdChef just cut his fingertip off with one of those.

malibustacey9999: "May your Quonsmas be bright! :)
posted by arachnid

Any chance this spectacular phrase could be made into a Mefi t-shirt next year?

I +++++++ this idea.
posted by IndigoRain at 8:07 PM on December 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Thank you secret canadian quonsar! The vintage(?) reversible apron is AWESOME. I will post pics of it later so everyone can bask in its glory.
posted by lizjohn at 9:02 PM on December 14, 2010

My Sekrit Quonsar sent me delightful fun gifts, including cat toys that had the cats mesmerized with the box (complete with chew/claw marks) long before I got home to open it. Quonsee confirmed receipt of giftiness.
I'm a happy camper!
posted by dbmcd at 7:54 PM on December 15, 2010

To the tune, very roughly, of Jizz in My Pants [NSFW YT]:

Look out on a frigid day
Working from home, no time to play
See the neighbor walk her dogs
Glad I'm snug in boiled wool clogs
Hear the wind howl around the eaves
It shakes every shrub and bends all the leaves
Huddle close as the laptop glows
It is the grindstone, I am the nose

Look again, end of the drive
A postal truck has just arrived
Is it carrying Quonsar things?
Mail lady gets out and the doorbell rings

This almost never happens, let me say it clear
Metafilter Quonsmas comes once a year
I get all excited, do a little dance
It's a big white package and it's all for me
Grab a kitchen knife, slit the tape with glee
First thing I see is a postcard from Columbus
Wait, let me take a pic --

Inside the box is all papery
Blue green and yellow prettily
Covering it all but what do I see
Buckeyes that ChuraChura sent for me!
Food from the internet, is it suspicious?
Chocolate + P.B. = crazy delicious
So I snarf one down (tastes good tempting fate)
And get my next prezzie from Ohio State
It's a travel mug, perfect for work
Tossing paper cups makes me feel like a jerk

I think I'm all done, but the mug is packed:
Jingle-mouse toy for a curious cat
It's almost as good as a catnip trance
Deeper in the mug, look what I got
Embroidery patterns rounding out the lot
My Secret Quonsar from the midwest
Is undoubtedly the very best

Last thing I have to say
To the Mefites who brought us Quonsmas Day
Julen and IndigoRain
Thank you for the joy you brang



posted by Orinda at 10:17 PM on December 15, 2010 [6 favorites]

Thanks to my secret quonsar for the awesome sticker projects. So much fun!
posted by thejanna at 7:21 AM on December 16, 2010

I'm so honored to have inspired a song :-D

To my awesome SQ - I am back at my folk's house for winter break. I've been informed that the present has arrived at my apartment, but I won't be able to open it until December 28. Thank you in advance!!!!
posted by ChuraChura at 8:55 AM on December 16, 2010

Thank you, Secret Quonsar!

I received a signed print of XKCD #386 - Duty Calls. It is undeniably awesome, thank you again!
posted by cgomez at 10:54 AM on December 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

I finally caught up to my secret quonsar gift (it arrived at my holiday location well before I did), and it is fantastic! A Margaret Atwood book I haven't read yet and a Martin Gardner book to remind me of just how deliriously and wonderfully geeky the world can be! And some locally-made hot sauce from Arizona! Finding good Mexican food in MA is an exercise in futility and despair, so this hot sauce will help keep my hopes alive and my mouth on fire during the cold and barren New England winter.

lizjohn and ThePotate, you guys are well and truly awesome. Thank you so very much!
posted by Diagonalize at 11:35 AM on December 16, 2010

I got my goodies!!!!! Sister Havana is the coolest!! She sent me a delicious horror anthology edited by Peter Straub, in hardcover, yet! And a book I've wanted to read for ages about nonverbal cues and signals of dogs, called How to Speak Dog - also hardcover! And! In best Mefi fashion, they are retired library books with the wonderful bombproof jacket covering and exotic stamp and sticker souvenirs of their past lives. Oh and for the sake of photographic propriety, the doggie book is for the sake of these two hooligans. Thanks again Sister H!!!
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:09 PM on December 17, 2010

In a delightful coincidence, my sekrit quonsar was also my sekrit quonsee. Thank you, rhiannonstone, for the candies and elephant clips!
posted by Wordwoman at 2:11 PM on December 17, 2010

And thank you, Wordwoman, for the awesome Indian spices!

I was thoroughly tickled to find out that we were mutually quonsared. It's like the gift of the Magi, only in reverse, only... not really. Nevermind. It's just awesome.
posted by rhiannonstone at 4:42 PM on December 17, 2010

Posting twice since I didn't even figure there is still activity on Elfster:

Dear elf! Thank you so much for the awesomely cool bracelets! It was completely awesome tearing at the packet with my husband going "what is it??? what is it??" over my shoulder and me going "ITS FROM THE INTERNET!!!".

Happy Quonsar to you and your loved ones!

Mefi: I got two very cool "lens band" bracelets which are just VERY cool and are a perfect fit :D Thank you, Mefi!
posted by olya at 5:43 AM on December 21, 2010

I got delicious brownies! which I ate! and a Flag It And Move On, Bitches button! which is on my refrigerator! Thank you Secret Quonsar!
posted by ottereroticist at 11:00 AM on December 21, 2010

Thank you sekrit quonsar from Newtown, New South Wales! I loved my gift. I stomped in through the snow, tired after being out for 16 hours, but perked up immediately to see a gift from the internet.
The far away internet.
Thank you for the chocolates and instant plant.
posted by readery at 2:16 PM on December 21, 2010

Thank you so much, Aussie Santa! I was super excited to get a package in my mailbox in the first place, but one that came all the way from Australia? The soap smells so lovely -- and I love citrus bath stuff! -- and it came at the perfect time because I'm just about out of my last bar. The hand massager is wonderful, too; I just finished a writing degree and all that keyboard time is really hard on my hands and wrists. Plus the wood absorbed the smell of the soap! I unfortunately cannot eat the Vegemite (stupid celiac disease) but rest assured it will go to a good home -- my adventurous-eating brother-in-law will love it.

Thanks so much again! I hope you have a happy holiday season.
posted by sugarfish at 6:49 AM on December 22, 2010

My fabulous SQ from Germany sent me the awesomest paperclips shaped like the Statue of Liberty, the Arc de Triomphe, and the Eifel Tower. They are a completely cool addition to my desk. Vielen Dank!!

My SQ is also terrific-- and highly organized -- to get a gift bought, wrapped (in a lovely sort-of-toile fabric), and shipped from Germany to Canada well before Christmas.
posted by angiep at 10:35 AM on December 22, 2010

My secret quonsar present arrived today - woo hoo!

Thank you so much Smackfu!

This is a lovely book filled with gorgeous artwork and I'm excited to learn about Hokusai's work beyond the famous Great Wave print.
posted by Julnyes at 11:07 AM on December 22, 2010

Thank you to my Canadian Quonsar! I picked my package up at the post office yesterday, opened it, and was very excited to find this lovely rock that gives me yet another way to startle my cats. Hooray for Quonsmas!
posted by MsMolly at 2:52 PM on December 24, 2010

I'd quite forgotten about this, until a delivery turned up on the 23rd. With no intention of achieving anything that day, I ripped it open - A WINNER!. Though the enclosed card protested how difficult it was to buy for a silent stranger, it was the perfect item. I quickly realised it pointed to the bar over the road where I filled it up with Cutthroat Porter. I also accidentally realised it sliced the gordian knot of the bar's 'no glasses outside' rule, by not being a glasswhile still holding a respectable volume of booze.

Thank you very much, polyhymnia! Hope you have a delightful Quonsar.
posted by davemee at 5:55 AM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]

I finally got to open my Quonsar gift this morning! I got some adorable robot key covers and a a "science fiction sound machine". Citizen Cat is not so fond of that one...

No note, so not sure who to thank...but thank you!
posted by JoanArkham at 7:17 AM on December 25, 2010

davemee you have officially made my Christmas morning. I despaired of that gift ever reaching you and had a whole host of other worries- maybe you were a beer stein collector, maybe you were a recovering alcoholic, maybe you lived next to a beer stein store. I am so amazed and flattered by your lovely comment! Have a wonderful holiday!
posted by Polyhymnia at 8:52 AM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]

Thanks again, julen and inigorain, for arranging a fun exchange. I know you had to click a million browser-crashing radio buttons, but hope you have a good quonsar too - it was worth it.
posted by davemee at 2:10 PM on December 25, 2010

Amazing gift, kthxbi. Due to vacation + holidays + blizzard, I have so little food in the house that I may actually eat the dried salmon and apple chips for dinner.
posted by smackfu at 4:56 PM on December 27, 2010

Thank you secret quonsar! Mine arrived in the post today, and I got a beautiful journal, an awesome sticker of Canada, a bracelet, and a lovely note that made me feel all Christmas-y and people-from-the-internet-are-awesomey. You are awesome, SQ!
posted by ukdanae at 6:42 PM on December 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

My gift finally made it to Australia! And I was sent the sweetest thank you note ever. Happy Secret Quonsar.
posted by anthropoid at 6:49 AM on December 29, 2010

I came home from vacation to a Pogues CD (and my MetaFilter User License, which, seriously, guys, you want one of those)-- thanks to both my Secret Quonsar and mattdidthat!
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 2:42 PM on December 29, 2010

I think I found out who my SQ is based on this thread. I received Field Notes notebooks (very timely) and the Zombie Survival Guide book with a note that the book was re-gifted from their SQ. Thanks SQ! This was fun.

Thanks also, Julen, for putting this all together!
posted by schnee at 7:21 AM on January 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

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