Thanks in Advance February 14, 2011 9:39 PM   Subscribe

meetup for not so many?

Is it possible to post a meetup for just a few people to come with? I'm in New York and have a ton of friends, but few who want to do some of the specific things I really like ( going to a golf driving range, just as example). I've been to one of the meetups and it was fun, but was just wondering if it's possible to post events where a ton of people might not be appropriate.

*NB* I don't mean Datefilter.
posted by sweetkid to Etiquette/Policy at 9:39 PM (33 comments total)

If you mean "a meetup that can't accommodate more than a small number of people", you could in theory make an IRL post and try to put into context why that's an issue and if folks are interested in sorting it out they can do so. It might be kind of weird to do, because the general idea with a meetup announced on the site is "hey, mefites, come to this if you want to an are able" and a constraining headcount isn't a typical part of the deal, but in principle if you can do it in a fair and non-weird way it may be worth a shot.

If you mean "a meetup where only specific people are invited", that pretty much has to be managed offsite. At that point, you're essentially organizing a party with a guest list and we're well outside of the purview of IRL and mefi meetups.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:54 PM on February 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


we're well outside of the purview of IRL and mefi meetups

Do we have to be? I mean, I was thinking that memail would be a good solution, but would it be a huge stretch (and if it is, I apologize in advance, having no knowledge of these things) to set up a subsection of IRL for folks looking to find a fourth member for golf, or bridge, or another member for a board game night, or some such?

On second thought, I have no idea how this would work other than a first come, first served kind of thing, but I think there might be some merit in there somewhere, where someone with a better grasp of this stuff than I've got could figure it out.
posted by Ghidorah at 10:31 PM on February 14, 2011


The trick is to go to as many big meetups as possible and come away with a good little group of MeFite friends who like doing the sorts of small-group things you want to do, then calling them whenever you wanna do that stuff.
posted by carsonb at 10:49 PM on February 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


You could just schedule it in LA and count on half of us to flake.
posted by klangklangston at 11:17 PM on February 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


(Shh! Carson, you're giving away our secret meetups! What if our girlfriends find out?)
posted by klangklangston at 11:18 PM on February 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'd like to invite EVERY METAFILTER USER IN THE WORLD to the next Tokyo meetup. There is plenty of room for you here, and the food is really very good.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:00 AM on February 15, 2011 [6 favorites]


i want to move to LA so freakin bad
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:49 AM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


You don't have girlfriends.
posted by Aizkolari at 3:36 AM on February 15, 2011


We're *all* pathetic and cweepy and can't get giwls, that's why we fight wobots.
posted by allkindsoftime at 4:27 AM on February 15, 2011


Okay flapjax-a-m. I'm game. Do you have Australian whales on the menu?
posted by honey-barbara at 4:42 AM on February 15, 2011


Do you have Australian whales on the menu?

Me, I never touch the stuff, but, yeah, I reckon you can chow down on some Cetacea if'n ya wanna. But, as to whether the particular whale you eat holds an Aussie passport, I wouldn't know...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:45 AM on February 15, 2011


There was a meetup in NYC in December to wrap donated presents to give to kids who needed presents. Since it was taking place at an apartment, there was a limit on the number of people who could attend. This worked out fine.
posted by sciencegeek at 5:14 AM on February 15, 2011


There was a meetup in...Chicago? Philadelphia? sometime in the last few months that involved some kind of special meal at a restaurant with a maximum of a dozen or so people.
posted by rtha at 5:50 AM on February 15, 2011


Can't speak for Philly, but that definitely happened for the Chicago Cabal*.

*TINCC
posted by SpiffyRob at 6:16 AM on February 15, 2011


Ok, so kind of a mixed reaction but...if you want to go to the driving range memail me I guess. I just like hitting golf balls (make your jokes).
posted by sweetkid at 6:43 AM on February 15, 2011


folks looking to find a fourth member for golf, or bridge, or another member for a board game night, or some such?

My feeling is that's more an outlier version of my first "if" than a clearcut case of my second "if" (to which my purview comment was attached). "Anybody can come, but slots are limited" is different and at least strictly speaking more okay than "anybody (on my unstated list of acceptable candidates) can come", which is the real absolutely-no-go territory for stuff on IRL: that's just a private party at that point, and needs to be organized privately.

My assumption is that sweetkid is talking about the former; I just wanted to be sure to cover both sides of it since I wasn't positive and because if we're talking about it we might as well be thorough.

But back to the example, it's sort of a tricky outlier because, yeah, as you note: how do wemanage first-come first-serve stuff on a site intended for organizing community-friendly events but which in that case pretty much by design excludes most potentially-interested folks? Not that it's impossible, and if it's a sort of recurring or potentially-recurring thing or could otherwise work out well to let lots of interested folks get involved, that seems like not necessarily a problem.

On preview, "going to the driving range" seems like an organizable thing, yeah. Especially if it's a place that can accommodate at least a few people, doing a "hey, who wants to have a meetup at the driving range, here's there maximum/likely occupancy so unfortunately we can't have a ton of people at once" invite that makes it clear why the practical limit exists strikes me as totally fine. If it turns out there's an overabundance of local passion for whacking golf-balls, maybe it'll get organized into a regular thing and folks can sort of split up their attendance by shifts or taking turns or whatever, yeah.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:12 AM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


cool thanks cortex! Second paragraph above seems to answer my question. Yes, I definitely mean "limited number of participants" not "specific people." If it's specific people I'll totes hit them up on memail or the IRL.
posted by sweetkid at 7:18 AM on February 15, 2011


i want to move to LA so freakin bad

I'll trade you for DC, but I'm takin' the LA 'fites with me.
posted by fake at 7:42 AM on February 15, 2011


There was a meetup in...Chicago? Philadelphia? sometime in the last few months that involved some kind of special meal at a restaurant with a maximum of a dozen or so people.

As far as Philly goes: you may be thinking of the Talula's Table micromeetup! It's how I met shiu mai baby and her husband, who were both quite lovely people! Lesson: when a total stranger asks you to cross state lines and eat some mysterious food, it's ALWAYS a good idea to say Yes.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:52 AM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


It might be kind of weird to do, because the general idea with a meetup announced on the site is "hey, mefites, come to this if you want to an are able" and a constraining headcount isn't a typical part of the deal, but in principle if you can do it in a fair and non-weird way it may be worth a shot.

This is very helpful to me. Team Austin has been talking about karaoke, and we could get a happy hour room on the cheap, but it's limited occupancy. I've been hesitating to suggest the idea because limited space might be a problem; now I'll keep it in mind. Thanks!
posted by immlass at 8:55 AM on February 15, 2011


looking to find a fourth member for golf, or bridge, or another member for a board game night, or some such?

Not that I'd be offended to see it in MeTa, but that sounds more like a case for a Twitter list of mefites. Right tool for the right job, 'n' all. I get the Twitter hate, sure, but this IS the thing it DOES work well for.

A real meetup might be the most efficient way to construct such a list, though.
posted by ctmf at 10:27 AM on February 15, 2011


meetup for not so many?

Make a dinner / event reservation with a limited number of slots. "First X people to sign up."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:51 AM on February 15, 2011


We've done a number of meetups that have limited slots- baseball in Coney Island, for example, where we purchased the tickets in advance. The present wrapping at Christmas in a private apartment was another, and I posted an IRL meetup for a screening of Newsies in a very small movie room. Overall, I find meetups of that nature tend to shake out very well, and I think it's nice to offer alternatives to the bar scene.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:04 AM on February 15, 2011


Everyone's pretty much gone over this, but as long as it's done in egalitarian "first come first served" sort of thing, you can use IRL for this. The big deal is that there's no "only people I know/like" caveat which would be a situation where we'd like you to not use IRL.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:15 PM on February 15, 2011


I'm just waiting for Flapjax to post the World Mefi Meetup In Tokyo over in IRL. Attendance will be expected. Those unable to attend had better have a pretty solid reason. And no, "airfares are so high" is not an acceptable excuse.
posted by Ghidorah at 1:18 PM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Just do the NY thing, call a meetup at a specific place and time, but keep moving it to somewhere else nearby on the fly the night of, and stop posting directions when you're happy with the group.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:27 PM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


I think a lot of the SF mefites would go to a Tokyo meetup if there were free sake. At least if the scotch tasting we had a couple weeks ago is any indication.
posted by madcaptenor at 1:49 PM on February 15, 2011


Uh, I'll spring for at least one of the giant cardboard cartons of sake, if that'll help. Even one of the ones with a famous enka singer doing ads for it! Classy!
posted by Ghidorah at 3:11 PM on February 15, 2011


Do you have Australian whales on the menu?

There's possibly some good news to be had on that front.
posted by Wolof at 8:01 PM on February 15, 2011


I think it would be a fine pony request to allow users to specify IRLs with a "max/target party size". I suppose you could just say in the request though, as Cool Pap Bell suggests.
posted by chairface at 8:41 PM on February 15, 2011


I'm having a meetup RIGHT NOW.
posted by Curious Artificer at 9:01 PM on February 15, 2011


I'm having a meetup right now that's so exclusive, even I'm not attending it. No one is attending it. That's how small I wanted to keep it.

Anyway, as Groucho said, I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:34 AM on February 16, 2011


flapjax, I've having a meetup right now too! I'm not attending it. But you are.
posted by madcaptenor at 7:25 AM on February 16, 2011


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