Dunno how this helps, mate July 26, 2011 3:23 PM   Subscribe

This post was deleted for the following reason: All my ex-posts lives in Tex-post -- cortex

Umm, you guys are all hot on HTML an' shit, so, like, if you wanna give the funny deletion reasons [and I say - why not?] can you link it so I actually know WTF you're talking about? Like. a real reason that makes sense to all Mefites? How does this reason illuminate the boundaries? [Josh, love your work, but = wha?]
posted by dash_slot- to MetaFilter-Related at 3:23 PM (381 comments total) 64 users marked this as a favorite


A very well known law will be foreclosing this thread momentarily.
posted by spicynuts at 9:38 AM on July 26 [8 favorites +] [!] No other comments.


repeat
posted by LogicalDash at 9:39 AM on July 26 [+] [!] No other comments.


Duplicate.
posted by I EAT TAPAS at 9:39 AM on July 26 [+] [!] No other comments.

^ First three comments in the thread.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:25 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


> Umm, you guys are all hot on HTML an' shit

I'm hot on Flash.

Seriously, my Flash-enabled devices all get really warm when running Flash.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 3:28 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


First three comments pointed out it was a dupe, adding a forth in the deletion reason isn't really that necessary, is it?
posted by mrzarquon at 3:31 PM on July 26, 2011


It was a double which seemed clear from the comments, though I guess cortex could have linked to the previous thread.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:34 PM on July 26, 2011


Yeah, ok. The deletion reason isn't everything that explains the deletion, I should know that by now. Mr Literal hereby withdraws his complaint.
posted by dash_slot- at 3:39 PM on July 26, 2011 [7 favorites]


I'm just hot. ::TSSSSSSSSSS::
posted by Splunge at 3:41 PM on July 26, 2011


There is only one thing I agree with about this MeTa, and I quote:

"wha?"
posted by found missing at 3:41 PM on July 26, 2011


☜(⌒▽⌒)☞
posted by troll at 3:43 PM on July 26, 2011 [15 favorites]


I'm pretty sure making a pun that bad is illegal in most states. Or at least it ought to be.
posted by koeselitz at 3:44 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


If you have the choice between being clear and informative or making a George Strait joke, I think the choice is clear.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 3:45 PM on July 26, 2011 [18 favorites]


George who?
posted by dash_slot- at 3:49 PM on July 26, 2011


George who?

George Strait the country music singer who sings "All My Ex's Live in Texas." This was a George Strait joke, right?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 4:00 PM on July 26, 2011


☜(⌒▽⌒)☞

You brought the birds here!
posted by The Whelk at 4:03 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I will usually link the related double or whatever in a deletion reason but in this case it was clear immediately in the thread what the issue was and I was in a hurry, so, yes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:03 PM on July 26, 2011


George Strait the country music singer who sings "All My Ex's Live in Texas." This was a George Strait joke, right?

Ok, dunno, I never heard of him. Not a big hit here. Apologies.
posted by dash_slot- at 4:04 PM on July 26, 2011


This was a George Strait joke, right?

That's why I hang my hat in Ask-uh-me, yes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:07 PM on July 26, 2011 [29 favorites]


"George Strait joke" = "military intelligence"
posted by Ardiril at 4:08 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Some of my closest friends are CLOSE THIS THREAD.
posted by not_on_display at 4:11 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


Ouch. Nobody in his right mind would have made that joke, cortex.
posted by koeselitz at 4:14 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Love funny deletions, 'cause there're no stings in their tales.
posted by jamjam at 4:26 PM on July 26, 2011


I thought this was a great joke. I have heard of George Strait but never of that particular song. But I have now. As far as I am concerned, the combination of this deletion text with this MeTa post has been both humorous and educational. Thanks!

NB - This data point may well be completely useless to you, if not more than completely useless, if you live in a universe where such a thing is possible.
posted by motty at 4:28 PM on July 26, 2011


Nobody in his right mind would have made that joke, cortex.

Are you suggesting I'm crazy? Crazy for being so punny?

Crazy? Crazy because my joke blew? Crazy for riffing? Crazy for whiffing? Crazy for "ugh"iiinng yooouu?
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:31 PM on July 26, 2011 [47 favorites]


My HTML brings the crazy to the thread!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:35 PM on July 26, 2011


I'll get the tranq gun, someone get the net. This is a Code Cortex. Repeat Code Cortex. Lock all the doors, seal the perimeter. Padre, you can start praying now.
posted by Splunge at 4:42 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, Kokopuff may have had her post deleted under an awful pun of a deletion reason, but she shouldn't take it too hard.

She should keep making all the posts she can, because at least she wasn't... banned for her spam.
posted by koeselitz at 4:47 PM on July 26, 2011


I got it right away, then again I was into country when country wasn't cool.
posted by nola at 4:51 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


As long as he doesn't slip into country inspired punny haikus, we should be safe.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:53 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Country sung backwards:
I gained my truck, beer, dog, wife,
as fall became spring.
posted by Errant at 4:56 PM on July 26, 2011 [35 favorites]


I'm pretty sure making a pun that bad is illegal in most states. Or at least it ought to be.

If puns are criminalized, he'll be convicted for his twitter stream. Puns so bad it makes your eyeballs bleed.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:57 PM on July 26, 2011


Man with fragile heart
Pleads that it not be broken
Still it aches and aches
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:00 PM on July 26, 2011 [30 favorites]


The supermarket;
Cemetery; county jail:
He looks for love here
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:03 PM on July 26, 2011 [23 favorites]


And yet, he can't find time for the mission-critical Heal the World MeFi version. Go figure.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:05 PM on July 26, 2011


Dusty Reno street
A shot rings out, a man dies
"Well, now I've seen that."
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:08 PM on July 26, 2011 [85 favorites]


It has shaken my world to discover that not everyone immediately gets that song stuck in their head at each and every goddamned mention of Texas.

Only time will tell if Ask-ah-me will now replace Tennessee in the next line in my head.
posted by small_ruminant at 5:10 PM on July 26, 2011 [8 favorites]


Heart watched close, eyes wide
Possession in binding ties
Linearity
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:14 PM on July 26, 2011 [12 favorites]


Son confronts father
Vengeance becomes forgiveness
Named after a girl
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:17 PM on July 26, 2011 [28 favorites]


Proud loners in trucks
Cowboys aren't well socialized
Mothers, prevent it
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:25 PM on July 26, 2011 [26 favorites]


Okay, now do one for Coal Miner's Daughter.
posted by likeso at 5:35 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


*hums theme from Jeopardy*
posted by likeso at 5:36 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wanderlust aroused
Friendly musical Roma
Once more on the road
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:38 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


Burma-Shave
posted by grouse at 5:40 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


O, next-door teen-hunk
Your fancy girlfriend's too mean
Go with me instead
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 5:41 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


Butcher Holler child
Frugal parents, loving home
Mines do not pay well
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:41 PM on July 26, 2011 [13 favorites]


You are my sunshine
What he wouldn't do for love
He's a fool for love
posted by Splunge at 5:43 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Good lord, cortex.

I genuflect. Genuinely.
posted by likeso at 5:47 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was stuck in a prison called Folsom
My life wasn't what you'd call wholesome
I shot a man dead
It popped into my head
Now the train whistle makes me so lonesome
posted by Rock Steady at 5:49 PM on July 26, 2011 [31 favorites]


With Bake-lite savior
weather is irrelevant
Blessings from the dash
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 5:49 PM on July 26, 2011 [7 favorites]


the kid is going
to need therapy but his
spelling has improved
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:49 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


Two things:

I got the joke, but yeah, a link to the previous post would be nice (unless it's like four "Amy Winehouse had died" posts one right after another.)

Thanks to the see deleted posts script I see some pretty good "this posts deleted because" explanations. Why can I not favorite those!?!?!
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 5:50 PM on July 26, 2011


You are not at home
I must roam these streets in search
After 12 AM
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:51 PM on July 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


Boy and man
Young and old
Old and dead
Waiting on a train.
posted by nola at 5:55 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm not doing it right am I?
posted by nola at 5:55 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


the u s of a
will put a boot in your ass
american way
posted by pyramid termite at 5:57 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


Folding strategy
Money counting etiquette
Freightcar poker sage
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:59 PM on July 26, 2011 [18 favorites]


dear, i love you but
you're the reason our kids are
so goshdarned ugly
posted by pyramid termite at 6:00 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


Let he without sin
Cast the first stone in dusty
boring Bakersfield
posted by dw at 6:00 PM on July 26, 2011 [8 favorites]


I can't get hitched yet
So might as well deport me
Back to Tulsa
posted by dw at 6:02 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


you see them walking
in their dirty underwear
tennessee bird walk
posted by pyramid termite at 6:03 PM on July 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


Can't place six of these, dagnabbit. Need to brush up on muh skillz.
posted by likeso at 6:04 PM on July 26, 2011


Loneliness consumes
Saline drips from oculae
Diluting his beer
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:04 PM on July 26, 2011 [14 favorites]


Cleanest dirty shirt
Sunday morning, aching head
More beer for dessert
posted by nickmark at 6:07 PM on July 26, 2011 [8 favorites]


Best. Thread. Ever.
posted by devinemissk at 6:08 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


metafilter blue
is not really a color
but a state of mind
posted by not_on_display at 6:09 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


His dreadful sorrow
She is irretrievable
Fortyniner's child
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:10 PM on July 26, 2011 [13 favorites]


Sure I'm demanding
But I deserve all this crap
So kiss me, damn it
posted by dw at 6:10 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hey, attractive one
Got comestibles cookin'?
How bout we get down?
posted by ldthomps at 6:10 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


Breakfast to dinner,
all taking and no giving,
Slowly I go mad.
posted by Errant at 6:11 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Workin 9 to 5
Just tryin' to make a living
Man, sexism sucks!
posted by ldthomps at 6:14 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


To the PTA:
You're all bigger sluts than me
PS: Banged your man
posted by dw at 6:15 PM on July 26, 2011 [34 favorites]


Sit down with me now
Tomorrow take the sunlight
From our fair valley
posted by nickmark at 6:15 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


A circle binds us
and it ever has done so
but will it always?
posted by penduluum at 6:18 PM on July 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


Lonely on the road
But there's singing in the wires
Wichita lineman.
posted by Shohn at 6:21 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Guilty of a crime
Not the one they hanged me for
My lover wears black
posted by ericost at 6:23 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Bourbon drowns sadness
Beer banishes it for good
My friends wait below
posted by penduluum at 6:23 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Clingable arm pair
Nocturnal thermal resource
Stand male adjacent
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:24 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


You know I really dislike My Darling Clementine. But not, apparently, in haiku form.
posted by likeso at 6:25 PM on July 26, 2011


Liquor, woman, dog
Achey breaky heart, my gun
Tralier tornado.
posted by Splunge at 6:25 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yodel, rustle, tote
Always anticipating
Return to saddle
posted by penduluum at 6:29 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


☜(⌒▽⌒)☞: ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞ ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞ ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞
☜(⌒▽⌒)☞ ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞ ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞, ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞
☜(⌒▽⌒)☞
posted by troll at 6:29 PM on July 26, 2011


We so excited
Partying, partying (yeah)
It's Friday somewhere
posted by mintcake! at 6:31 PM on July 26, 2011 [11 favorites]


Codependency
Inadequacy complex
Closely stalking thee
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:31 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


My wife is lovely,
My fiddle venerable.
A blessed rural lad.
posted by Shohn at 6:33 PM on July 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


Young Rebecca Black,
Would you judge this Satanic
fiddle contest please?
posted by mintcake! at 6:36 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


I checked this thread over breakfast, got to work an hour later, fired up MeFi and magic had happened whilst I was gone. I should stop reading MeFi and let cortex the elves work in peace.
posted by arcticseal at 6:37 PM on July 26, 2011


Mobile homes for rent,
rooms let for change; but I'm broke
The road enthrones me
posted by penduluum at 6:38 PM on July 26, 2011 [9 favorites]


Though temptation tries
to draw me down from your arms;
for you, I resist.
posted by Errant at 6:43 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


(hoping for a haiku of a certain Crystal Gayle song)
posted by likeso at 6:44 PM on July 26, 2011


But I did do it.
I sit in the wood and wire
Of the mercy seat.
posted by elephantday at 6:45 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


The thunder rolls, so
raise the convertible top-
Benni might get wet.
posted by mintcake! at 6:47 PM on July 26, 2011


Hills made of sugar
Socialist entitlements
Hobo fantasy
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:47 PM on July 26, 2011 [32 favorites]


Oh, well done!
posted by likeso at 6:48 PM on July 26, 2011


Man knows his classics.

But can he do something clever with Crystal?
posted by likeso at 6:50 PM on July 26, 2011


Night too cold to spit
exploiting myself for you
cheap is how I feel.
posted by gauche at 6:53 PM on July 26, 2011


A new person for you
But I don't want to hear it
My brown eyes now blue
posted by elephantday at 6:55 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Late night baseball drinks,
a cute litlle haha
on the MetaTalk.
posted by vrakatar at 6:55 PM on July 26, 2011


mama's passed away
undertaker, please go slow
circle: unbroken.
posted by gauche at 6:57 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Blueness waxed and waned
Depressed without precedent
Eye hue transmuted
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:02 PM on July 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


Improbable hair
Hoping snowy paupers jab
Dinosaurs chortling
posted by clavdivs at 7:03 PM on July 26, 2011


Week's first evening
Famous son queries preparedness
For helmeted field-games
posted by koeselitz at 7:05 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Fistfight with father
Over his choice of my name
Won't repeat with son
posted by stevis23 at 7:05 PM on July 26, 2011


You lied to me, but
not as I mistreated you;
my eyes now an ocean.
posted by Errant at 7:07 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Y'all can't see it, but my grin's a mile wide.

Not exactly a true country song, but the Ultimate Challenge, should you choose to accept it: Rawhide.
posted by likeso at 7:07 PM on July 26, 2011


(And cortex, you have already won the tipple of your choice. Just have to work out how to get it to you. You shine, sugar.)
posted by likeso at 7:12 PM on July 26, 2011


Collapsing Rawhide
Chafing summers last ride
Morning sun comes with sore butt
posted by clavdivs at 7:13 PM on July 26, 2011


on, up, up, out, on
out, out, in, in, out, out, in
Move, head, count, ride, cows.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:14 PM on July 26, 2011 [70 favorites]


๏̯͡๏﴿
posted by killdevil at 7:15 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Get'er up, then down,
ride her to safety and warmth,
slay her for her skin.
posted by Errant at 7:17 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


Perfection. Pure, minimalist perfection, jessamyn.
posted by likeso at 7:31 PM on July 26, 2011


One hundred and eight comments. For the love of all that is holy, why hasn't this been closed yet?
posted by Deathalicious at 7:33 PM on July 26, 2011


Frame your question as a haiku based on a country song, and you might just get an answer there, Deathalicious.
posted by likeso at 7:35 PM on July 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


because we are having fun obvsly
posted by elizardbits at 7:36 PM on July 26, 2011


Love's union like ring
Of fire. Holy fuck, I fell.
burns, burns, burns, burns, burns
posted by iamkimiam at 7:37 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


The first detractor
is like the last, bereft. The
salmon leaps unashamed.
posted by Errant at 7:38 PM on July 26, 2011


Drunk man consulted.
Refresh yourself, dear husband.
Noble gas light blinks.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 7:41 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


There was a young poster from Nantucket
posted by sammyo at 7:41 PM on July 26, 2011


Your secret is safe
None will hear how you cheated
Sad waltzes don't sell
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:41 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


my awesome red dress
brings all the boys to the yard
cause my name's fancy
posted by iamkimiam at 7:46 PM on July 26, 2011 [7 favorites]


Hollywood, Redwood,
mining for one true thing; now
older: still looking.
posted by gauche at 7:46 PM on July 26, 2011


This is my homeland.
If you don't like it, take a walk.
America. Fuck.
posted by Errant at 7:47 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


do not let the door
hit your ass on the way out
of this awesome thread
posted by iamkimiam at 7:48 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


oh I wanna know
have you ever seen the rain
umbrella today?
posted by iamkimiam at 7:53 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


self-imposed exile;
land of iced Mexican drinks;
salt dispenser: gone.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 7:55 PM on July 26, 2011 [12 favorites]


the lower coiffure
witnessed hither and thither
oh, I have seen it
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 7:56 PM on July 26, 2011


Last one, I promise
da na na nuh nah nuh na
maybe we should leave
posted by iamkimiam at 7:58 PM on July 26, 2011


Golden fiddle prize,
Got to insult Satan, "The
Best that's ever been."
posted by corey flood at 8:10 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Sleeping, he talks of
Incomparable beauty
I cannot compete
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:20 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


learned a bit 'bout love
down on the chattahoochee
hoochie coochie hot

bonus:
how's "hoochie coochie"
on the radio unbleeped?
worse than skeet skeet skeet
posted by lesli212 at 8:29 PM on July 26, 2011


Thelma and Louise
We ain't. We make black-eyed peas,
He faints. Goodbye, Earl.
posted by maryr at 8:29 PM on July 26, 2011 [9 favorites]


My mother told me
Don’t take your guns to town, son
I did not listen
posted by gingerbeer at 8:39 PM on July 26, 2011 [8 favorites]


bravado displayed,
young males discuss mental health
neighborhood: compton
posted by BeerFilter at 8:39 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


o.O This is such an awesome thread. :)
posted by zarq at 8:49 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Living it up
Kid with a dead mom
opprobrious feelings . . . centered around a lack of due respect and love for one's mother.

Fuck. I just can't get the hang of this.
posted by nola at 9:00 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


A skilled seductress
Ability guides her choice
Don't do it, Jolene!
posted by jrossi4r at 9:11 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


Requesting conveyance to ancestral stomping grounds
Paternal apologetics
Coal company absconsion
posted by nola at 9:11 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


In order to tell you
I have unprivileged peers
I crashed your wedding
posted by mmmbacon at 9:15 PM on July 26, 2011 [7 favorites]


Sis shoots cheating wife
Unlawful hanging ensues
Too many Andys
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:18 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


So Cortex gets a Mod Star now, right?
posted by bdave at 9:28 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


RIGHT?
posted by The Whelk at 9:29 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Faithful devotion
to indifferent lover
ended by the grave
posted by Snarl Furillo at 9:29 PM on July 26, 2011


A body like yours
Obscenity statutes breached
Little Red Corvette
posted by Sebmojo at 9:33 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


An inferno in
the region whence I tumble
down down still flaming
posted by Lynsey at 9:43 PM on July 26, 2011


I missed the memo
that Tuesday night was Mefi
drunk and haiku night.
posted by fyrebelley at 9:48 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


If you have money,
Then I will give you my time
You're broke? I'm gone, 'bye!
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 9:57 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


In the twilight tears
only memories remain
blue eyes crying rain
posted by Sailormom at 10:01 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Good gin, good tonic, but
A good man gone wrong, in
jails, no gin, no tonic
posted by oddman at 10:09 PM on July 26, 2011


Californ'ya girls
Don't eat fries, don't dirty dance.
Suck it, Katy Perry.
posted by maryr at 10:19 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Don't say 'divorce,' say
D I V O R C E!
(Kids can't fucking spell!)
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:19 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


star schmar, Cortez should get a mod musical note.
posted by FritoKAL at 10:32 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


Marital ennui
Pathetic attempts to stray
Breeze from Japanned fan
posted by Miko at 10:35 PM on July 26, 2011


He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
Soon they'll carry him away

(Damn. That not only works eerily well, but even as a hacky haiku it's STILL depressing as all get-out.)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:48 PM on July 26, 2011 [7 favorites]


There's a tear
posted by spicynuts at 11:15 PM on July 26, 2011


In my beer
posted by spicynuts at 11:15 PM on July 26, 2011


For you
posted by spicynuts at 11:15 PM on July 26, 2011


My dear.
posted by spicynuts at 11:15 PM on July 26, 2011


Am I doing this right? Did I get it Strait?
posted by spicynuts at 11:16 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Bourgeois broad cruising
Wears tight jeans to lure rednecks
Conway Twitty's gross
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:17 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


Going all the way
It's your first time bum bum bum
For reals Twitty's gross
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:21 PM on July 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Love to lay you down
Twitty sex anytime, anywhere
Seriously, gross
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:25 PM on July 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


I blame Conway Twitty for the errors in that last one.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:26 PM on July 26, 2011


Conway Twitty knows
your sins, your impenetrable heart.
He sadly withdraws.
posted by Errant at 11:33 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sing to me, o muse,
of whiskey, and my lost love
feasting as I weep.
posted by Errant at 11:40 PM on July 26, 2011


a small pretty bird
sitting on a narrow branch
burnt to a crisp
posted by philip-random at 12:12 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Deny our past relationship,
Clothes lie in cinders, smouldering.
Heart aches, broken.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:17 AM on July 27, 2011


Caught drinking, womanizing,
Hypocrite in a neighbourhood bar,
Prayer'll fix it.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:51 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Five syllables there
Seven syllables again
I like to fuck cows
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:44 AM on July 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


anus from the womb,
or life's labor entire?
a rectum tonight.
posted by taz at 3:10 AM on July 27, 2011


Y'all are fucking awesome.

And I don't care that that is not a haiku, and I used awesome.

One kid with a tummy bug, the other one with a badly sprained ankle, I had to take a sickie from work to be a nurse, really bad day all round.. and then I come here and read all that deliciousness. I smiled for the first time all day.

Thanks.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 4:19 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Baddies (various)
God says he'll skittle you guys
(Sooner or later)
posted by slightlybewildered at 4:23 AM on July 27, 2011


Would you lay with me
Uncomfortably on rocks?
Please? My needs are strong.
posted by slightlybewildered at 4:28 AM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Down the stretch they come
Heartache is a thoroughbred
My heart is a nag
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 4:44 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Cheating heart revealed
Profuse weeping is mastered
Good luck sleeping, though.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 4:55 AM on July 27, 2011


(°(oo)°)
I have their eggs under adverse posession!
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:03 AM on July 27, 2011


I, beer-soaked; Mom, freed.
I hasten to retrieve her.
The train has claimed her.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 5:03 AM on July 27, 2011 [8 favorites]


Haikus are awesome,
but sometimes they don't make sense:
refrigerator.
posted by subbes at 5:10 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Man by railroad tracks
Dying, tells me final wish:
Give my love to Rose.
posted by ZsigE at 5:23 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Trouble all my days;
See you on God's golden shore.
Farewell, Kentucky.
posted by ZsigE at 5:29 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Cruising Bakersfield,
gospel on the radio.
a girls remote gaze.
posted by taz at 6:25 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Cajun food arrayed,
Drunk on moonshine with Yvonne,
I'm outed as gay-o.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:28 AM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Crossing Bone County
GTA: San Andreas
Listen to K-ROSE
posted by running order squabble fest at 6:32 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


marijuana smoke
muskogee oklahoma
one never smells it
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:35 AM on July 27, 2011 [7 favorites]


Give son the old house.
Sailing, rocking, daddy-o;
Just make verses rhyme.
posted by fritley at 7:00 AM on July 27, 2011


I'll shine on Broadway!
A sparkly rodeo star
Just a metaphor
posted by Dojie at 7:07 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Little smiling sage
Slaps shoe polish left and right
Rhythm heals the blues
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:09 AM on July 27, 2011


Our moderator thinks s/he's a brain
Split blank and then s/he's gone
Hauling threads about like a caboose
posted by effluvia at 7:12 AM on July 27, 2011


Trifling hussy,
Disrupted family. Restrain0
Your wiles, Jolene.
posted by Miko at 7:12 AM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Cotton-Eyed Joseph
Prevented matrimony.
What's with that bullshit?
posted by Dojie at 7:17 AM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


No marriage for us;
I stay because I can go.
Codependency.
posted by fritley at 7:22 AM on July 27, 2011


Dad left me at three
Bill, George; anything but Sue
I still love that man
posted by Splunge at 7:26 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Make me an angel
That does fly from montgomery
rodeo postcard
posted by schyler523 at 7:33 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


bower cradled babe
dream swaddled and breeze caressed
plunged to forest floor
posted by taz at 7:33 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Cold wind, sunless pines
Train goes by for far too long
I am shivering
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:38 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


A husk of a man
Nowhere is far, far away
Don't care anyhow.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:48 AM on July 27, 2011


I looked at this thread on the front page of MetaTalk and I thought, holy fuck, how could this possibly have spawned enough of a fight to get up to almost 200 comments over a whimsical deletion reason, I suppose I'll just click on it and see what's going on.

And I did. I love you people sometimes.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 7:52 AM on July 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


We're doing haiku?
I don't have any prepared!
Let's do recipes.
posted by odinsdream at 7:56 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Barstool, jukebox: friends
Bottle, payphone: enemies
Memory and shame
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:58 AM on July 27, 2011


Flowers in my hair,
I'm so charming and precious.
But you neglect me.
posted by fritley at 8:07 AM on July 27, 2011


Cigarettes, whiskey
women, promiscuity.
Mental health declines.
posted by odinsdream at 8:09 AM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Muhlenberg County
Daddy, can you take me there?
Sorry, son, it's gone.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 8:13 AM on July 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


Apron strings now taut
You reject what we have made
Love, o careless love
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:14 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


A-haw, haw, haw, haw
There's a brothel in La Grange
A-haw, have mercy
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 8:17 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


A very well known law will be foreclosing this thread momentarily.
posted by spicynuts at 9:38 AM on July 26


Goddammit, "momentarily" does not mean "soon". Goddammit.
posted by Decani at 8:20 AM on July 27, 2011


You're gonna miss me
I'm gonna live forever
Sure do miss my son
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 8:23 AM on July 27, 2011


Eighteen Sixty-Nine
Dictionary antedates
Great-great-grandpa's use
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:24 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Loneliness and drink
Made me think I was in love.
The young cowboy died.
posted by Shohn at 8:42 AM on July 27, 2011


Mama hates pistols
Call's them the devil's right hand
Found out she's correct
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 8:42 AM on July 27, 2011


Damned apostrophe
Sure wish I had that one back
Punctuation fool
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 8:46 AM on July 27, 2011


He didn't like her
Then one day they got married
Please don't take the girl
posted by owtytrof at 8:56 AM on July 27, 2011


Pancho's dead; Lefty's
in Cleveland. Where'd he get the
bread? Nobody knows.
posted by dismas at 8:56 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


She's my kind of girl
Farm equipment turns her on
Tractor for the win!
posted by owtytrof at 8:59 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Bestiality
is bad. Give the horse a break.
Just ride a cowboy.
posted by owtytrof at 9:01 AM on July 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


I know you're itchin'
to get married, Nora Lee,
me too, babe, me too.
posted by dismas at 9:02 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Your purpose is to
save me. That's why I'm still here.
Realization.
posted by owtytrof at 9:02 AM on July 27, 2011


When we met, both young;
just like that play I didn't
read in English class.
posted by dismas at 9:06 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


*wipes hands*

My work here is done.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:08 AM on July 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


Earl was a real douche
So I PTMFA
Justifiable!
posted by Zozo at 9:12 AM on July 27, 2011


Dinner, biscuits, words:
Water holds its long secrets
Tallhatchie Bridge
posted by jokeefe at 9:28 AM on July 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


TallAhatchie Bridge, dammit
posted by jokeefe at 9:29 AM on July 27, 2011


Mama's singing, now:
D.I.V.O.R.C.E
Is casting a spell
posted by jokeefe at 9:30 AM on July 27, 2011


So wait, how has this not been sidebarred? This is friggin epic, man.
posted by nevercalm at 9:39 AM on July 27, 2011


Love cedes to anger
Proposal spurned, lover drowned
Ohio river
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:41 AM on July 27, 2011


Golden haired girl
Wouldn't stay down
Stick sorted it.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:47 AM on July 27, 2011


Married a rich man
So unsatisfied. Driver:
Cheatin' side of town,
posted by Miko at 9:55 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


So happy but he split
whisky, jukebox, glass, cry
she likes the bars now
posted by Cocodrillo at 9:56 AM on July 27, 2011


This nine pound hammer
It's a long way to hazard
Just to get a brew
posted by Splunge at 10:08 AM on July 27, 2011


Silver wings on chest
Brave men of the Green Beret
America's best
posted by Splunge at 10:10 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Questions, wondering
Spying, looking, suspicion:
We're caught in love's trap
posted by jokeefe at 10:12 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Name switched to number
Tomorrow is unlikely
Patrick McGoohan
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 10:20 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Middle aged woman
A suave man of low degree
Has never returned
posted by oneirodynia at 10:25 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Me, my Chevy, beer
call the Chattahoochee home
Yup, still a virgin
posted by m@f at 10:32 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Sometimes it's hard to
Forgive and keep the bed warm
Stay with the asshole
posted by deborah at 10:41 AM on July 27, 2011




Bid for sanity
Hermitage in dark hollow
Forget that you're gone
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:44 AM on July 27, 2011


Can't resist mean girl;
desperate love transcends even
record thievery.
posted by clavicle at 10:47 AM on July 27, 2011


Sam Stone went to war,
After, morphine addiction.
Hole in daddy's arm.
posted by schyler523 at 11:03 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


If I read one more
I'm going to kill someone
Stop the damn haikus
posted by davejay at 11:03 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Dire Wolf collects dues
Dinner bottle red whiskey
Please don't murder me.
posted by schyler523 at 11:06 AM on July 27, 2011


Possible options:
blind yourself like Oedipus,
or just close the thread.
posted by Errant at 11:17 AM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Cowboy love: I wake
at 3 a. m. and find you've
stocked the fridge with beer
posted by beagle at 11:27 AM on July 27, 2011


Coca extraction,
hard grain liquor best left alone
says Willy Lee
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:31 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh Ruby you shine
gemstone in my ruined crown
Don't take love to town
posted by jokeefe at 11:44 AM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


MetaFilter is turning into NPR
posted by The Devil Tesla at 11:56 AM on July 27, 2011


MetaTalk is fine.
Don't like haiku? Purge grar or
learn to use cock rings.
posted by mintcake! at 12:14 PM on July 27, 2011


New York mission:
Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
(Heh, that means me, girl.)
posted by maryr at 12:14 PM on July 27, 2011


Evil hearted woman
dad wishing to go fishing
Ain't no good chaingang
posted by nola at 12:41 PM on July 27, 2011


This post was deleted for the following reason: All my ex-posts lives in Tex-post -- cortex

Well, the subject and verb do not agree, so there is room for complaint there.
posted by y2karl at 12:50 PM on July 27, 2011


Lady at the church
door. Not her wedding. Never
will be. She's not alone.
posted by rjs at 12:52 PM on July 27, 2011


Insane number of
bottles of beer on some wall.
Please let me wake up.
posted by rjs at 12:53 PM on July 27, 2011


cold truck, rodeo
exhibitionist johnny
bad square dancing, nerves
posted by pyramid termite at 1:25 PM on July 27, 2011


MeFi was there first. NPR has just taken a decade to dorothy rip us off. You could look it up'
posted by Miko at 1:32 PM on July 27, 2011


number nine, number
nine, number nine, number nine
you become naked
posted by not_on_display at 1:36 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wife? Sure. Take her, but:
Hat mei nolite tangere
Says Latin Lovett.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:42 PM on July 27, 2011


We had Metaiku for a few months back in the mesozoic era, in which each line was taken from (and linked to) part of some Mefi comment. Dashiv was the haiku superstar ★.

don't try to sign up, I no longer have that account, but Typepad kindly keeps it around.
posted by taz at 1:47 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


dad caught me smoking,
expressed his disapproval.
must fight to party.
posted by not_on_display at 2:12 PM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


met the new boss, who
was the same as the old boss.
won't get fooled again!!!!!!!!
posted by not_on_display at 2:14 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


hipster scalded tongue
result of eating pizza
before it was cool
posted by finite at 3:39 PM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


To West Virginia
A woman, a belonging
Homeward, country roads
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:48 PM on July 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


I know you planned it
This fucking thorn in my side
All 'yall, sabotage
posted by Splunge at 4:01 PM on July 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


Oops, wrong thread.
posted by Splunge at 4:02 PM on July 27, 2011


sitting at my house
tumescence is all I know
scan contacts for date
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:03 PM on July 27, 2011


large posteriors!
I base this in truth:
peers cannot dispute
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:06 PM on July 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


oops
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:08 PM on July 27, 2011


Once there were some kids
Who did some strange things so we
Sing mmm mmm mmm mmm
posted by grouse at 4:09 PM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Hard-headed woman
Man with cardiac softness
Trouble eternal
posted by EvaDestruction at 4:12 PM on July 27, 2011


Trust not a big butt
nor the smile of a groupie
that girl is poison
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:13 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


A hurried wedding
Now love's fire has vanished
See you in Jackson
posted by cereselle at 4:25 PM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Somehow pathetic
Friday, Friday, tomorrow's
Saturday, Thursday

Is the day before
front seat back seat kicking it
a teenage wasteland
posted by jokeefe at 4:26 PM on July 27, 2011


Card-playing master
Advice on holding, folding
Metaphor for life
posted by cereselle at 4:29 PM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


For old times sake:

Cows, sheep mean freedom
Station man tricked and weeping
Pig iron on board
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:41 PM on July 27, 2011


This is great.
posted by nile_red at 4:45 PM on July 27, 2011


Me and my pony
Sailing into the distance
Was not a great idea
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:46 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Tell you a story
Can't find no job, no rent
One bourbon, scotch, beer
posted by Splunge at 4:47 PM on July 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Noble sacrifice
Needs of the many or one
Thanks for the coffee
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:53 PM on July 27, 2011


A vain march to death
Rubber Duck floats for a time
Smokey never stops
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:57 PM on July 27, 2011


40k guys, gals
Meet him each day without fear.
We can be like them.
posted by ZsigE at 4:58 PM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Truck started down hill
He said God make it a dream
Dead, mashed bananas
posted by Splunge at 5:01 PM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Swing that hammer, John
Pardon me, Mister steam drill
Steel driven man, Lord
posted by Splunge at 5:13 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Friendship's nice but now
I'm stuck on how much I want
to zig a zig ahhh.
posted by mintcake! at 5:32 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


regret: better not
if you see your mother, tell
her SATAN SATAN
posted by not_on_display at 5:41 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


lady buying stairs
gets to shop but shop is closed.
epic solo, now.
posted by not_on_display at 5:45 PM on July 27, 2011 [8 favorites]


i know he likes me!
i'm walking on sunshine, it's
starting to feel good!
posted by not_on_display at 5:48 PM on July 27, 2011


no ring, no wedding,
then no huggy, no kissy.
keep hands to yourself.
posted by not_on_display at 5:51 PM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


I love you all, damn
Side bar this stuff already
Cortex started it!
posted by Splunge at 5:55 PM on July 27, 2011


Windless and sunless
Once young man's coal-blackened blood
As dark as dungeons
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:42 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


you say you liked it
you should have acted on that
put a ring on it
posted by contrarian at 6:49 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Cortex, "windless" should rather have been "rainless", since the song never addresses the issue of wind or lack thereof, but does point out that "the rain never falls"

/country music pedant
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:52 PM on July 27, 2011


our parents managed
I'm not sure if I love you
you just want to dance
posted by contrarian at 6:52 PM on July 27, 2011


Well, "wind never blows" is how the scariest, oldest bluegrass singing son of a bitch I've ever played with sang it, and that was not a man I have taken any unhealthy interest in contradicting, so we will have to agree to disagree and chalk it up to the joyful unfixedness of the folk tradition.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:59 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wait, that was the wrong format. Let me try again:

Grandfather bluegrass
Gravel voice and steely eyes
He says "wind", wind blows
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:02 PM on July 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


I kissed a woman,
I liked it; liked even more:
All the attention.
posted by grouse at 7:08 PM on July 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


California girls,
Wear skimpy clothes and look good,
Time for Snoop Dogg's rap.
posted by grouse at 7:10 PM on July 27, 2011


Air blows, fire burns
Water flows, earth turns and then
Love is the center
posted by Splunge at 7:11 PM on July 27, 2011


Like a plastic bag?
That is how I used to feel,
Before I blew up.
posted by grouse at 7:14 PM on July 27, 2011


Girls kiss more sweetly
In Jill Sobule's song. Katy,
get off my damn lawn.
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:21 PM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I loved you to
infinity and beyond
but no rock, no roll.
posted by jokeefe at 7:23 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


cave life is boring
staring at the wall all day
shadow friends aren't real.
posted by iamkimiam at 7:26 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


iamkimiam
It's possible I love you
though platonically.
posted by jokeefe at 7:28 PM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


This is just to say
I will love you more than plums
which I already ate.
posted by iamkimiam at 7:32 PM on July 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


Pork Dukes rule the world
Got a nuke for Christmas, mom
Just a wanker, me
posted by Splunge at 7:44 PM on July 27, 2011


put your right foot in
wait, oh, yeah, then I do this
nude hokey twister!
posted by iamkimiam at 7:55 PM on July 27, 2011


no pot of gold here
playing the same old song, stuck
in Lodi again
posted by infinitewindow at 8:30 PM on July 27, 2011


We don't need learning
we didn't eat our meat, so
can't have our pudding.
posted by schyler523 at 9:10 PM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


all you need is love
nothing sang that can't be sung
love is all you need
posted by not_on_display at 9:37 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


bart writes on chalkboard--
bell rings, he hops on skateboard
and rides it through town
posted by not_on_display at 9:40 PM on July 27, 2011


Just wanna say. One of my favorite songs. Is 30,000 pounds of bananas. Harry Chapin. Saw him in concert. The whole place jumped up for that song. I was in love then, my first girlfriend. It was amazing.


RIP dude. We still love you.
posted by Splunge at 10:15 PM on July 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Late to the party but I didn't see this one yet:

Single drop of rain.
Rob maids, build dams, sail cross stars:
I'll be back again.
posted by freebird at 10:34 PM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


North Ontario.
Lake; clouds; poignant emotions.
Liminality. Helpless.
posted by Miko at 10:49 PM on July 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


He sang for thousands,
but I just heard my heart race
as she crept so close.
posted by Errant at 1:04 AM on July 28, 2011


Northern sky so dark
waiting here for a long time
You're here with magic
posted by arcticseal at 1:42 AM on July 28, 2011


Avian unfettered
departing here now
(ugh earworm stuck in head)
posted by Cocodrillo at 4:25 AM on July 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Remove shelved music
Modern songs inferior
To rock of the past
posted by cereselle at 7:03 AM on July 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lover will depart
On train that leaves at midnight
I will go with him
posted by cereselle at 7:07 AM on July 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


An innocent man
Hanged by the neck until dead
Lights out in Georgia
posted by cereselle at 7:09 AM on July 28, 2011


Let us dance the twist
Last summer, a memory
Let us dance the twist
posted by cereselle at 7:11 AM on July 28, 2011


Failures may depart
We will defeat all comers
We shall prevail
posted by cereselle at 7:15 AM on July 28, 2011


Bored with married life
I badger you: how about
Sexy blanket on the ground?
posted by Omnomnom at 8:18 AM on July 28, 2011


In winter I hunt
Her tracks betray her progress
Footprints in the snow
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:36 AM on July 28, 2011


Fond of girls with boom
Within the Burger King stall,
I once got busy
posted by Horselover Phattie at 8:48 AM on July 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


I guess this is not
where I ask about meetups
is it still the grey?
posted by infini at 9:31 AM on July 28, 2011


WANTED: Place to stay
where I can hang with the boys
and get a good meal
posted by mintcake! at 10:01 AM on July 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hasn't met my mom,
but she digs incense, wine and
candles. She's alright.
posted by mintcake! at 10:07 AM on July 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Bet you're in this thread.
They''ll probably close it down.
"No more haiku songs."
posted by gauche at 11:46 AM on July 28, 2011


Store sure needs fixin'.
Seems you could just heat the tea?
Minnie Pearl again.
posted by fritley at 12:07 PM on July 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


A dead fish on top
Dangles me on a string
Bored, I lose my soul.
posted by nomisxid at 1:24 PM on July 28, 2011


Upgraded from shack
To a two story house.
It's shit.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:38 PM on July 28, 2011


Hole in the bucket
Richard, dear Richard, a hole
In the bucket: hole
posted by Splunge at 3:10 PM on July 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Just wanted y'all to know that my gentleman caller and I are trading these back and forth today as challenges to come up with the original song and a relevant youtube clip. It is a wonderful way to pass the time.
posted by Polyhymnia at 3:29 PM on July 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Help me make it through
Take the ribbon from your hair
Shadows on the wall
posted by DaddyNewt at 7:56 PM on July 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


What's cooler than cool?
The fellas say it's ice cold.
That's correct! Heeeyyyy, Yaaaah!
posted by not_on_display at 10:22 PM on July 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


My testicles are
always bouncing to and fro.
I have the biggest.
posted by not_on_display at 10:23 PM on July 28, 2011


Listen closely: hear
Singers! Oh! Your radio
receives their signals.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 10:40 PM on July 28, 2011


I'm at Taco Bell.
What? No, I'm at Pizza Hut.
What? Combination.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:44 PM on July 28, 2011 [6 favorites]


They say this is totally illegal! Don't risk instant banning!
posted by Meatbomb at 3:18 AM on July 29, 2011


Oh, Johnny, Johnny
Kick a hole right in the sky
Testify, Johnny
posted by Splunge at 4:58 AM on July 29, 2011


Pick up your China Doll,
It's only fractured, just a
bit nervous from fall.
posted by schyler523 at 5:10 AM on July 29, 2011


I called my father,
told him I am in jail, and
I like it! It's NICE!
posted by not_on_display at 10:18 AM on July 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


Meatbomb, Meatbomb. MEAT!
BOMB! Bomb of Meat, Meat of Bomb.
MEAT! BOMB! Meat bo-bomb.
posted by not_on_display at 2:36 PM on July 29, 2011


That that that that boy
That boy, boy needs therapy.
Psychosomatic.
posted by maryr at 4:12 PM on July 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


A rich woman begs
I'll make a good woman steal
I'm bad to the bone
posted by Splunge at 4:47 PM on July 29, 2011


silent pretty girl
kindly asks to put bondage
where sun doesn't shine.
posted by iamkimiam at 4:54 PM on July 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was a rebel
Grew hair long and broke rules
Get a haircut, job!
posted by Splunge at 5:09 PM on July 29, 2011


I am clueless, man
Must learn to read better, think
Clueless, but I learn
posted by Splunge at 8:18 PM on July 29, 2011


Thanksgiving favor
involving misplaced garbage
starts revolution
posted by iamkimiam at 8:25 PM on July 29, 2011 [8 favorites]


Man shooting for food
hits oil instead, becomes rich.
he moves to Cali.
posted by not_on_display at 4:11 PM on July 30, 2011


Can you tell me where
I can find blue skies, friendly
neighbors, and Big Bird?
posted by not_on_display at 4:13 PM on July 30, 2011


Oftentimes, we want
to be somewhere where we are
recognized, and drink.
posted by not_on_display at 4:16 PM on July 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Doing it our way,
we will make our dreams come true,
capping beer bottles.
posted by not_on_display at 4:17 PM on July 30, 2011


just two good ol' boys,
driving over speed limits.
The law don't approve.
posted by not_on_display at 4:19 PM on July 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Once there was a boat.
On this boat there was a crew.
Lost love is now found.
posted by not_on_display at 4:24 PM on July 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Cottonwoods murmur
Starlit ride through prairie lands
He is not fenced in
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:06 PM on July 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


A three hour cruise
Gilligan, the skipper too
Movie star, the rest
posted by Splunge at 5:24 PM on July 30, 2011


Alphabet singing
One letter recurs in state names
Thelma's initial.
posted by Miko at 7:54 PM on July 30, 2011


Juke plays Hank Thompson,
It wasn't made us,
You philandering bastards
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:36 AM on July 31, 2011


^
It wasn't God made us
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:36 AM on July 31, 2011


Off of the first page
Continues to get haikus
Epic thread: Epic
posted by Splunge at 12:11 PM on July 31, 2011


East to west and back
She is tall, handsome and long
Wabash Cannonball
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:25 PM on July 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


Mess with danger zone
She bop he bop and you bop
Oh, she said she bop.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 1:48 PM on July 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


Remove my picture
For your new friend is cocaine
Return my heart's key.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:59 PM on July 31, 2011


One two three four five
Six roadrunner roadrunner
Shout "Radio On!"
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:02 PM on July 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


Tarps catch the wind
Instead of the rain
The roof is leaking
posted by troll at 2:34 PM on July 31, 2011


Why am I awake?
Its jetlag, they say, good night
yeah right, my bones ache
posted by infini at 2:36 PM on July 31, 2011


Human trampoline
explains her nickname, she is
bouncing to Graceland
posted by schyler523 at 5:32 AM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


ma's pajamas
pa's pissed at Julio, me
investigation
posted by iamkimiam at 1:06 PM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Going back to Cali
Cali, Cali I'm going back to
peach euphemism
posted by santaslittlehelper at 8:33 PM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Was a doggone shame
In Mrs. Murphy's chowder
Overalls, you drip
posted by Splunge at 4:18 AM on August 2, 2011


Ten thousand comments,
plus seven thousand more here.
Too goddamn many.
posted by languagehat at 9:33 AM on August 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


If you look at time
and comments as abstract things,
it all makes sense, dude!
posted by not_on_display at 5:22 PM on August 2, 2011


All my ex-haikus
live in tex-haiku. Reason
enough for me! dude
posted by not_on_display at 5:25 PM on August 2, 2011


Sleep is a shortcut
A tunnel we take through the
Ever-dreaming earth
posted by Sebmojo at 6:43 PM on August 2, 2011


Cortexas
Eyes upon you
Watch what you say
Cortexas
Cannot get away
posted by effluvia at 8:06 PM on August 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hill with rocky top
Bearcat girls, dead moonshiners
Home sweet home to me
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:22 AM on August 3, 2011 [2 favorites]


You're getting older.
Hungry, in pain, no freedom.
Love now or never.
posted by misha at 5:11 PM on August 13, 2011


I loved that girl once.
Curse you in your fancy car.
She shuns poverty.
posted by misha at 5:15 PM on August 13, 2011 [3 favorites]


Knowing the ending
I might have refrained. Better
We danced unaware.
posted by misha at 5:23 PM on August 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is totally illegal, you must stop now.
posted by Meatbomb at 1:57 AM on August 14, 2011


Home is a truck stop
Papa was a rodeo
Mama was a band.
posted by schyler523 at 4:21 AM on August 14, 2011


Mama's got bellows
And loads of innuendo
Daddy gets no rest
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:16 AM on August 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


Meatbomb: "This is totally illegal, you must stop now."

Hmm...that parses well, but I can't place the song?
posted by misha at 10:10 PM on August 14, 2011




Hmm...that parses well, but I can't place the song?

I Fought The Law?
posted by maryr at 8:51 AM on August 16, 2011


Desmond (sales), Molly
(singer) marry, procreate.
Ob-la-di-bla-da.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:43 PM on August 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


Friday comes after
Thursday, before Saturday.
Weekend! Weekend! Yeah!


Gang Fight: The Gang is
down to fight. Have I brought this
Chicken for no eat?
posted by not_on_display at 11:55 PM on August 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


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