MetaFilter user page gender responses January 22, 2012 1:41 AM   Subscribe

What are your favorite responses to the gender question on MetaFilter user pages? Is there a page that lists all of them? I'm surprised how often they make me giggle. This was kind of asked in 2001.
posted by Corduroy to MetaFilter-Related at 1:41 AM (76 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Is there a page that lists all of them?

Cortex did this once in 2010, but the list seems to have been removed... Maybe he can generate one again. Here are his comments about the data.
posted by taz (staff) at 1:58 AM on January 22, 2012


*ponders answer deeply*
posted by infini at 2:17 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I appreciate any variation of "yes, please".
posted by planet at 2:28 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Somebody has theirs as "dangly bits".
posted by cashman at 5:39 AM on January 22, 2012


Which could make anything really.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:51 AM on January 22, 2012


Currently mine is "Tasty!"

One should have fun with all the profile fields, not just Gender.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:57 AM on January 22, 2012


Oh, that gender question? Phew!
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 6:17 AM on January 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


My favorite that I've seen is "convex."
posted by Narrative Priorities at 7:25 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm mail. Which is a joke on my hobby.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:28 AM on January 22, 2012


Oh hoom, that list hasn't been so much intentionally removed as I think just got displaced somehow when we moved hardware recently. I'll see about resurrecting it, it was pretty fun to page through.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:30 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


SEXY SEX PERSON
posted by mintcake! at 7:40 AM on January 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


pb is going to have to boot the Macintosh SE back up so cortex can get his Hypercard Stack.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:01 AM on January 22, 2012 [7 favorites]


Based on that lovely linked thread, mine is now: Marzipan and clitoris.
posted by misha at 9:15 AM on January 22, 2012


yeah, i feel like almond joy is the best possible answer now
posted by elizardbits at 9:16 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Heath Bar
posted by The Whelk at 9:35 AM on January 22, 2012


I've been using "ಠ_ರೃ" because what's manlier than a monocle?

The answer is, of course, "a penis" but I'm trying to keep things classy you perverts.
posted by griphus at 9:37 AM on January 22, 2012 [7 favorites]


*ponders this mysterious penis deeply*
posted by infini at 9:42 AM on January 22, 2012


When you ponder the penis, the penis ponders back.
posted by The Whelk at 9:45 AM on January 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


"This flame, like all flames, represents the light and darkness. It also represents the uncertainty of life and its delicacy. It also represents a penis."
posted by griphus at 9:55 AM on January 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


braid runner
posted by clavdivs at 10:02 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


If I had a penis, my answer for "Gender" would be "The Hammer."

And yes, I would hammer in the mo-o-orning.
posted by argonauta at 10:03 AM on January 22, 2012 [6 favorites]


CROM.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:07 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I can't remember whose it was, but my favorite one was "Go, Nuts!"
posted by Navelgazer at 10:20 AM on January 22, 2012


I assume at least one person answered 'Bender.'
posted by jonmc at 10:23 AM on January 22, 2012


Ha argonauta, I've listed mine as Hammer for about a year now, just popped into my head and I thought it was funny. Obviously I blanked on my source material.
posted by yellowbinder at 10:29 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


"alligator; mama-papa coming for you"
posted by mintcake! at 10:31 AM on January 22, 2012


'It depends'.
posted by jamjam at 10:32 AM on January 22, 2012


Mine is,
Gender: Gender Queer, but built on T4 gp27 with gp18 partially removed

Its funny because its a phage joke.
posted by Blasdelb at 11:02 AM on January 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


mine is "inne not outie" but now i'm considering changing it to something more gender queer-y.
posted by nadawi at 11:22 AM on January 22, 2012


Mine is "chicklet" which I thought was clever, but now I'm not so sure.
posted by Specklet at 11:37 AM on January 22, 2012


Yeah, mine is "I'm a mezzo. Work it out" which makes absolutely no sense given the number of mezzo countertenors I know. Oh well.
posted by Pallas Athena at 11:47 AM on January 22, 2012


In Finland, penis goes for afternoon ski in snowy urban parkland.
posted by infini at 11:48 AM on January 22, 2012


Mine is myob since it is none of your business.
posted by Cranberry at 11:48 AM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Mine is FeMale because that's what it says on my birth certificate. My first name was uncommon in the place I was born and someone assumed it was a male name and typed it thusly on the certificate. Someone caught the mistake and typed "Fe" in front of it in a slightly different typeset.

So, according to my birth certificate, I am Iron Man.
posted by kamikazegopher at 11:58 AM on January 22, 2012 [43 favorites]


flapjax at midnite's answer "gamelan gender". A gender, pronounced something like "gunder", is an Indonesian musical instrument very distantly related to the vibraphone. It's got metal keys and resonators but doesn't vibrate.*

So, basically, his answer means "a musician who knows about instruments like genders."

*A sort of similar effect is achieved by playing them pairs tuned just slightly out of tune with other.

It hadn't occurred to me till I typed this comment, that the pun about gender and genders might have been intended to have a deeper meaning. And I don't know if it was intended. But gender are usually played in pairs, though they are sometimes played individually in small ensembles (I think). The pairing of instruments tuned this way is responsible for the characteristic shimmering of traditional Indonesian orchestras.

(And genders don't vibrate, but they do when played in tuned pairs.)

flapjax will of course be along in a bit to tell me what he thinks of my over-analysis or bean-plating of his answer – probably not much. But I still like his answer and think it's funny.
posted by nangar at 12:01 PM on January 22, 2012



I put "gonuts" because thats what the form says.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 12:01 PM on January 22, 2012


the young rope-rider's makes me snicker.
posted by aubilenon at 12:02 PM on January 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


* A sort of similar effect is achieved by playing them in pairs tuned just slightly out of tune with each other.
posted by nangar at 12:19 PM on January 22, 2012


Mine says "man-ish", which strikes me now as more irritating than funny. Oh, well.
posted by brundlefly at 12:26 PM on January 22, 2012


Mine used to be some weird riff, inserting the word 'gender' into the middle of other words, or not, or sort of. It was like that for a very long time due to inertia. I forget what prompted me to change it though. I should change it again.

Has anyone said 'Dork'? Probably.
posted by carsonb at 12:41 PM on January 22, 2012


Tomboy with occasional femme moments.
posted by mollymayhem at 12:41 PM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


mine is "not terribly butch dude", or so a drunk Mefite once said. This actually happened, except I'm not sure if the person involved was drunk. But I was.
posted by madcaptenor at 12:46 PM on January 22, 2012


Mine just says "Female," which is boring. But any more genderqueer responses aren't appropriate, because I'm seriously one of the most strongly cisgendered women I know, despite not necessarily presenting as overwhelmingly culturally "feminine." BUT typing "proudly female" or "Deeply female" or "Ridiculously cisgendered, also female," or whatever, gives the impression of making a political statement that I absolutely do not intend to make.

Anyone got a fun hip way to say "Actually, I fit perfectly comfortably in my weirdly reductionist box, and I think that's a perfectly fine way to be and I love being this way, but I still hate how reductionist and constricting these boxes are because many people do not fit perfectly comfortably in them and they have just as much right to their gender expression and identity as I do"?
posted by KathrynT at 12:53 PM on January 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


madcaptenor - Was that drunk mefite perhaps me? It sounds like something I'd say.
posted by mollymayhem at 12:56 PM on January 22, 2012


mollymayhem - yes, it was you. (and yes, it does sound like something you'd say, now that I think about it. which makes sense, because you said it.)
posted by madcaptenor at 12:58 PM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


9 volt battery.

I blame you people.
posted by Space Kitty at 1:09 PM on January 22, 2012 [13 favorites]


Some men have a hard time finding the Marzipan.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:20 PM on January 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


KathrynT, "I love being this way" sounds great.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:22 PM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Like it was my profession.
posted by Occula at 1:32 PM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Navelgazer: "I can't remember whose it was, but my favorite one was "Go, Nuts!""

Yeah, at one stage mine was "This is free-form? Go, Nuts!". After, as Pogo_Fuzzybutt says, the prompt text.

(Now it just says "ditto", which makes no sense unless you're actually looking at my profile…)
posted by Pinback at 1:58 PM on January 22, 2012


Maybe I should say to the hell with hiding and stand up loud and proud and change mine to 'menopausal' - conveys everything you didn't want to know ;p
posted by infini at 2:02 PM on January 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Mine is "I WISH it was free form!"
posted by Mngo at 3:46 PM on January 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


I had mine set as: "Free form, no nuts" for a while, but I got bored with that.
posted by piratebowling at 3:49 PM on January 22, 2012


Mine is set to "speedboat" primarily so that people don't get confused about which one is me in my profile picture.
posted by 256 at 4:26 PM on January 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


When the form first said "go nuts", I originally entered "nuts". I have since changed that to "special snowballs" to express myself as a Sensitive (and potentially crushable) Male.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:31 PM on January 22, 2012


I stole "There's an octopus in my bottom!" just recently from louche mustachio, who also has a good gender response.
posted by bilabial at 5:42 PM on January 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


mollymayhem: "Tomboy with occasional femme moments."

Mine says "femme" right now, but I may have to steal your format and change it to "femme with occasional tomboy moments."
posted by gingerbeer at 7:33 PM on January 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Can't for the life of me remember who is is that has it, but my favorite is "two turntables and a microphone."
posted by xbonesgt at 8:16 PM on January 22, 2012 [9 favorites]


Gingerbeer, please do! I'd be honored.

ok, now I seem to be responsible for the wording of the gender of two mefites besides myself. Anyone else need a gender?
posted by mollymayhem at 10:16 PM on January 22, 2012


I have just changed mine to something that strikes me as being clever, here at 2:37 a.m., but by the time you read this, I may have thought better of it and reverted to something boring. Or not.
posted by MexicanYenta at 12:37 AM on January 23, 2012


I think mine is clever. I could be wrong! (It matches the photo, though).
posted by h00py at 1:16 AM on January 23, 2012


Mine ('Female, oddly') is supposed to be one of those hilarious double meaning things. See, oddly enough, even though my username sounds pretty male, I'm female. But then also my way of 'doing' female is pretty non-standard and indeed gets me identified as a male >=50% of the time; so if you were to ask, 'In what way are you female?' I would be able to answer, 'Oddly'.

Inorite. I'm here all week.
posted by Acheman at 4:06 AM on January 23, 2012


Responding to this conversation, I encourage anyone who it sort of applies to to put "Cis" in your profile.
posted by Mngo at 5:51 AM on January 23, 2012


Gender?!? I hardly knew her!

I'll show myself out
posted by jquinby at 7:20 AM on January 23, 2012


Mine says "Feminist of the female persuasion." I always like to throw a little sexual politics in when I can.
posted by bearwife at 11:47 AM on January 23, 2012


Mine is "subject to X-inactivation". Its funny because it's a biology joke and also only comes up in threads about cats.
posted by maryr at 11:54 AM on January 23, 2012


Actually, it's not a biology joke. It's just a biology reference. The biology joke would be something along the lines of me being Xist. Or perhaps a pun on my Barr body.
posted by maryr at 11:56 AM on January 23, 2012


Mine used to be Bender but then I came up with something much more clever.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:59 AM on January 23, 2012


Someone oughta list theirs as Woman, Fire and Dangerous Thing. I'd do it myself, but sadly I'm a Man And Animate Object, so I can't.
posted by nebulawindphone at 4:48 PM on January 23, 2012 [2 favorites]


nebulawindphone....Done.

With a slight variation to include the exceptional animals. Thanks for the suggestion!

I had high heels and lipstick and almost changed it to cis per Mngo's suggestion, but the nuance of that gets lost.
posted by thankyouforyourconsideration at 9:10 AM on January 24, 2012


nebulawindphone....Done.

Me too. In my case, it's eerily apt.
posted by KathrynT at 9:31 AM on January 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I wrote mine in 2004; I should go in and delete the "-er".
posted by thinkpiece at 11:45 AM on January 24, 2012


Mine used to be 'sideburns'.

Thundersweater is a perennial favorite of mine.
posted by usonian at 2:03 PM on January 24, 2012


how is it possible that "Dangerous Thing" has not been claimed as a roller derby name?!
posted by KathrynT at 5:25 PM on January 24, 2012


argonauta writes "If I had a penis, my answer for 'Gender' would be 'The Hammer.'

"And yes, I would hammer in the mo-o-orning."


It brings to my mind George Carlin's "How hangs the hammer" bit. I wonder if there is a whole spectrum of these depending on how old one is.
posted by Mitheral at 7:41 PM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


KathrynT: "Anyone got a fun hip way to say 'Actually, I fit perfectly comfortably in my weirdly reductionist box, and I think that's a perfectly fine way to be and I love being this way, but I still hate how reductionist and constricting these boxes are because many people do not fit perfectly comfortably in them and they have just as much right to their gender expression and identity as I do'?"

How about "Almost stereotypically female"? Or: "June Cleaver"? (Or even "June Beaver", if you want to go that way.)

...

Interesting how many people here associate gender with genitalia. The two aren't actually very linked.
posted by jiawen at 2:19 AM on January 26, 2012


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