April Frist! March 31, 2012 9:12 PM   Subscribe

It's only 10pm here in Albuquerque, but it's April 1st somewhere, so I'm giving everyone randomized (staff) tags in MetaTalk! Happy April!
posted by filthy light thief to MetaFilter-Related at 9:12 PM (1947 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite

Frist!
posted by filthy light thief (staph) at 9:12 PM on March 31, 2012 [2 favorites]


lol butts
posted by elizardbits (stalin) at 9:13 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


i don't even.
posted by iamabot (stupid) at 9:14 PM on March 31, 2012


I was wondering! I was so confused ..
posted by dotgirl (stars in your eyes) at 9:15 PM on March 31, 2012 [2 favorites]


testes
posted by cellphone (graph) at 9:15 PM on March 31, 2012


Is this some kind of joke?
posted by ericost (fapfapfap) at 9:16 PM on March 31, 2012


Make it stop!
posted by pemberkins ('struth) at 9:16 PM on March 31, 2012 [2 favorites]


does anyone read the posts down here?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 (stars in your eyes) at 9:16 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


totes.
posted by Jimbob (silver surfer) at 9:16 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


...how?
posted by pecanpies (stef) at 9:17 PM on March 31, 2012


I have a number of questions.
posted by nicething (graph) at 9:17 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


My first act as official steve-o/stet/stuffed/'struth will be to timeshift msacheson's "Harrumph!" comment about two minutes forward on the 'we have cameras' thread, so NortonDC's rejoinder is immediately consecutive to marknau's rant. It is only proper.
posted by brownpau (starfish kisses) at 9:17 PM on March 31, 2012 [6 favorites]


wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
posted by kmz (hairway to steven) at 9:18 PM on March 31, 2012


<3
posted by jessamyn (staffing solutions) at 9:18 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wheeeeeee!
posted by sarcasticah (stabbatical) at 9:18 PM on March 31, 2012


I Like Jam
posted by edgeways (stack exchange) at 9:18 PM on March 31, 2012


I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I
posted by spiderskull (stamos potential) at 9:18 PM on March 31, 2012


Oh, "staves" apparently.
posted by spiderskull (stuffed) at 9:19 PM on March 31, 2012


yay
posted by Wordwoman (starvin') at 9:19 PM on March 31, 2012


OK, Blue Jays, let's play ball.
posted by Space Coyote (staphylococcus) at 9:19 PM on March 31, 2012


lookout
posted by mwhybark (gaffe) at 9:20 PM on March 31, 2012


Get stuffed.
posted by gingerbeer (karen carpenter) at 9:20 PM on March 31, 2012


⛄
posted by Threeway Handshake (horse ebooks) at 9:21 PM on March 31, 2012


Was this inspired by the staph joke on Science Friday this week?

Totally was. Totally was.
posted by thirteenkiller (shillelagh) at 9:21 PM on March 31, 2012


Heh.
posted by gingerbeer (mr. belvedere) at 9:21 PM on March 31, 2012


Woot.
posted by cozenedindigo (seven chinese brothers) at 9:22 PM on March 31, 2012


it changes!
posted by mwhybark (seven chinese brothers) at 9:22 PM on March 31, 2012


Oooh they change. Which makes that a little less funny than it was the first time.
posted by gingerbeer (starburns) at 9:22 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


fuck
posted by cellphone (staphylococcus) at 9:23 PM on March 31, 2012


stet
posted by cellphone (stiffie) at 9:23 PM on March 31, 2012


Wha... woah!
posted by latkes (stabilizer) at 9:23 PM on March 31, 2012


I've gone ahead and authorized to be implemented, memento project for Mefi, you'll thank me later (while sifting through all the rest of the non-mementoed web, and finding it to be full of holes).
Also, pb will now have a partner in j.

Also, why could a large portion of the choir not play woodwind, brass, or other fingered instruments?

They were Altos.
posted by infinite intimation (mood) at 9:23 PM on March 31, 2012


Ooh, what will I get?
posted by rtha (starship trooper) at 9:24 PM on March 31, 2012


Yes!
posted by rtha (mr. belvedere) at 9:24 PM on March 31, 2012


.
posted by barely legal (stack o toads) at 9:24 PM on March 31, 2012


It's just what I've always wanted.
posted by donnagirl (stagger lee) at 9:24 PM on March 31, 2012


And they change every time I refresh the page! Bitchin'!
posted by rtha (stebbins) at 9:25 PM on March 31, 2012


OHNOITSDEAD!!!
posted by latkes (stars in your eyes) at 9:26 PM on March 31, 2012


This shall not stand
posted by allen.spaulding (stefi graf) at 9:26 PM on March 31, 2012


Oh wait, it's back!?!!
posted by latkes (stafu) at 9:26 PM on March 31, 2012


Weird, it went away on the last couple posts for a minute...
posted by latkes (stent) at 9:26 PM on March 31, 2012


refresh, latkes.
posted by gingerbeer ( radio) at 9:26 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hope I get shillelagh.
posted by chococat (behalf) at 9:26 PM on March 31, 2012


damn.
posted by chococat (stamp out litter) at 9:27 PM on March 31, 2012 [2 favorites]


April Fish everybody!
posted by themanwho (stamen) at 9:27 PM on March 31, 2012


Stet is a Latin word (meaning "let it stand") used by proofreaders and editors to instruct the typesetter or writer to disregard a change the editor or proofreader had previously marked.[1]
This convention is usually marked by writing and circling the word stet above or beside the unwanted edit and underscoring the selection with dashes or dots.[1] Alternatively, a circled tick (check mark) may be used in the margin.[2]

In connection with this usage, stet is also sometimes used as a verb, e.g., "Stet that colon."

Imagine the headlines, MeFi colon "explorer".
Colon explorer?
You know what I'm saying. Stet that colon.

I'll let it stand.
posted by infinite intimation (stef) at 9:27 PM on March 31, 2012


no whammies no whammies c'monnnn esteban!
posted by kpht (standup bass) at 9:27 PM on March 31, 2012


How come filthy light thief got to do this?
posted by oneswellfoop (stacked) at 9:28 PM on March 31, 2012


aww, poots (srsly i heart this).
posted by kpht (stats) at 9:28 PM on March 31, 2012


I <3 New Mexico and ABQ. RUIDOSO REPPIN HERE YO!
posted by PapaLobo (standup bass) at 9:29 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


How come filthy light thief got to do this?

Because he's a member of the staves, obviously.
posted by cortex (scrappy-doo) at 9:29 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


...so begins a 24 hour period of trusting no one.
posted by Rinku (studebaker) at 9:29 PM on March 31, 2012 [2 favorites]


I want!
posted by LobsterMitten (no soap) at 9:29 PM on March 31, 2012


Dammit.
posted by LobsterMitten (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 9:29 PM on March 31, 2012


This is awesome!
posted by lucy.jakobs (stairway to heaven) at 9:30 PM on March 31, 2012


That's it, I'm going down to the radio station where flt does a Techno music show on Sunday mornings (absolutely true) and I'm bringing all my Weird Al records!!!
posted by oneswellfoop (no soap) at 9:30 PM on March 31, 2012


test
posted by hellojed (chaff) at 9:30 PM on March 31, 2012


WHERE'D IT GO?
posted by brina (stab) at 9:30 PM on March 31, 2012


First time I loaded this mine was "staph," second time I loaded it was "stet"
posted by LobsterMitten (stopped) at 9:31 PM on March 31, 2012


They should have let Meatbomb announce it.
posted by grouse (starvin') at 9:31 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


brina - you gotta refresh the page.
posted by rtha (fapfapfap) at 9:31 PM on March 31, 2012


For the next 24 hours, I'm banning everyone I meet!
posted by meese (stairway to heaven) at 9:31 PM on March 31, 2012


"How come filthy light thief got to do this?"

Because, after stealing all the sunlight, over the dim, dull winter months, there is the rejuvenation and rebirth season of spring...
Who better than the filthy light theif their-sizzelf to return the world to the joy, light, and abundant spring of spring-time?

It might become a new holiday (Cleansed Light Returns). Maybe.
posted by infinite intimation (stebbins) at 9:31 PM on March 31, 2012 [3 favorites]


Let the silliness begin.
posted by andoatnp (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 9:32 PM on March 31, 2012


Figured that out the hard way, rtha. Btw, it's totally true. I really am stacked.
posted by brina (karen carpenter) at 9:32 PM on March 31, 2012


third was "stella"... this encourages reload abuse!
posted by LobsterMitten (stan the potato man) at 9:32 PM on March 31, 2012


lemme see what this may look a like
posted by TangerineGurl (seven chinese brothers) at 9:33 PM on March 31, 2012


need more categories...

striped

stripped

stark, ned

stark, tony

stark naked

stark raving

schlump

slacker
posted by oneswellfoop (chaff) at 9:33 PM on March 31, 2012


and of course,

swell
posted by oneswellfoop (stasi) at 9:33 PM on March 31, 2012


gingerbeer and I, both sitting here with our laptops of course, are noticing that the tags are different for each of us! Fun!
posted by rtha (stalin) at 9:34 PM on March 31, 2012


I want one!
posted by kellyblah (stadia) at 9:34 PM on March 31, 2012


Finally, I get the respect I deserve around here!
posted by Salvor Hardin (horse ebooks) at 9:34 PM on March 31, 2012


me too
posted by mustard seeds (staring contest) at 9:35 PM on March 31, 2012


This is a much better April Fool's prank than the one I thought up: sending "You're failing" emails to all of my students. (I don't think I can actually do that, because the firing would be for reals.)
posted by ilana (start) at 9:36 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


I want in on this too.
posted by The Man from Lardfork (starvin') at 9:37 PM on March 31, 2012


This is excellent. I still remember fondly the April Fool's AskMe page. Can I still find that somewhere?
posted by latkes (starfish kisses) at 9:37 PM on March 31, 2012


I would like to subscribe to this newsletter, please.
posted by heurtebise (stifler) at 9:39 PM on March 31, 2012


Huzzah!
posted by Ghidorah (hurf durf butter staffer) at 9:39 PM on March 31, 2012


Gimme.
posted by lekvar (stamp tramp) at 9:39 PM on March 31, 2012


Interesting. I started reading this thread when there were only a few comments. When I came back I clicked "40 new comments" and those comments did not have the yellow tags. When I refreshed they were awarded tags. I always find little "bugs" like that fascinating.
posted by HMSSM (stoooooooooooooned) at 9:40 PM on March 31, 2012


stef is not so random. stef is a conspiracy.
posted by feloniousmonk (stab) at 9:41 PM on March 31, 2012


I've got a staff. Anyone want to see?
posted by deezil (sylvan learning center) at 9:41 PM on March 31, 2012


My second act with a mod-tag (after the huzzahing) will be the implementation of EatMe...

huh, what? You mean it's just a tag? No powers?
posted by Ghidorah (standup bass) at 9:42 PM on March 31, 2012


Staff tagged all my life
posted by Occula (stalwart) at 9:42 PM on March 31, 2012


This longboat looks awful short.
posted by bigbigdog (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 9:42 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


I want to be stylin'.
posted by desjardins (star light star bright) at 9:42 PM on March 31, 2012


:(
posted by desjardins (starvin') at 9:42 PM on March 31, 2012


"stuffed" tagged all my life
posted by Occula (stilettos) at 9:43 PM on March 31, 2012


Why does mine only say Stab?
Is it because im supposed to stab?
Guide me metafilter
posted by Potomac Avenue (scrappy-doo) at 9:43 PM on March 31, 2012


Slayer!
posted by blaneyphoto (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 9:43 PM on March 31, 2012


Heh, you're currently stacked, deezil.

And oneswellfoop, I'm not doing my radio show tomorrow. I'm actually and truly in New Mexico.
posted by filthy light thief (stiffie) at 9:44 PM on March 31, 2012


What sorcery is this?
posted by radwolf76 (steppenwolf) at 9:45 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


then I'm going to go in AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME, bwahahahaha....
posted by oneswellfoop (stamps.com) at 9:46 PM on March 31, 2012


april frisk!
posted by foxhat10 (stack o toads) at 9:48 PM on March 31, 2012


more like April Stirf, amirite?
posted by oneswellfoop (pfaff) at 9:49 PM on March 31, 2012


This is totally illegal and I am telling.
posted by Meatbomb (winner) at 9:50 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


I got stiff right now.
posted by The Whelk (stab) at 9:51 PM on March 31, 2012


What?
posted by The Whelk (waft) at 9:51 PM on March 31, 2012


Hmmm.
posted by postel's law (studmuffin) at 9:52 PM on March 31, 2012


okay, which one of you is stimpy?
posted by oneswellfoop (step) at 9:54 PM on March 31, 2012


OHIJUSTREALIZEDALLTHEOTHERMETASARELIKETHISTOO!
posted by latkes (ffats) at 9:55 PM on March 31, 2012


is this something i need a television to understand?
posted by sambosambo (stand and deliver) at 9:56 PM on March 31, 2012


Well done.
posted by vegartanipla (studebaker) at 9:57 PM on March 31, 2012


What? Why I don't even... huh?
posted by trip and a half (ffats) at 9:57 PM on March 31, 2012


I wish to be Smurf on the Blue
posted by Rumple (stasi) at 9:58 PM on March 31, 2012


Shenanigans'
posted by Weeping_angel (stuffing) at 9:59 PM on March 31, 2012


My turn. Funny!
posted by bebrave! (silver surfer) at 10:00 PM on March 31, 2012


exciting
posted by MythMaker (farts) at 10:02 PM on March 31, 2012


Best $5 evar!
posted by Sailormom (riffraff) at 10:04 PM on March 31, 2012


I am going to be reloading all the MetaTalk pages constantly for the next 24 hours because I like it when it changes. Sigh.
posted by trip and a half (sweeney toddler) at 10:05 PM on March 31, 2012


oh weird they don't show on preview
posted by juv3nal (stop sign) at 10:07 PM on March 31, 2012


We finally have flair.
posted by The Whelk (sunday sunday SUNDAY) at 10:07 PM on March 31, 2012


Me sum two.
posted by a humble nudibranch (stamps.com) at 10:07 PM on March 31, 2012


Eager ears, expectant, joyful.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER (stanley kubrick) at 10:07 PM on March 31, 2012


Stoned!
posted by a humble nudibranch (spouse) at 10:09 PM on March 31, 2012


As in, let's all get.
posted by The Whelk (shillelagh) at 10:09 PM on March 31, 2012


April Fool Ponies for all!
posted by mogget (mood) at 10:09 PM on March 31, 2012


Whoa whoa!
posted by suedehead (stagger lee) at 10:12 PM on March 31, 2012


As charming as this is, my fervent wish for a tiny video mathowie continues unabated. PERCHANCE NEXT YEAR.
posted by Rhaomi (zach braf) at 10:12 PM on March 31, 2012


Nice!
posted by Laura Macbeth (stax exchange) at 10:12 PM on March 31, 2012


FINALLY
posted by unknowncommand (sartori) at 10:12 PM on March 31, 2012


More responsibility but no power to abuse! Awwgghh
posted by TwelveTwo (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 10:13 PM on March 31, 2012


Weeee!
posted by Defying Gravity (stupid) at 10:13 PM on March 31, 2012


Also (of course): eponysterical! Yay!
posted by trip and a half (sweeney toddler) at 10:13 PM on March 31, 2012


One hour in and you've added a bunch more variations, none of them among those I suggested. stiffed
posted by oneswellfoop (steppenwolf) at 10:14 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh yes.
posted by Evernix (stopped) at 10:14 PM on March 31, 2012


alright, random tag... let's do this!
posted by palomar (stanky) at 10:17 PM on March 31, 2012


aww. no i'm not. :(
posted by palomar (stand and deliver) at 10:18 PM on March 31, 2012


lol stuff
posted by daniel_charms (hairway to steven) at 10:18 PM on March 31, 2012


Yay
posted by jabo (starter) at 10:19 PM on March 31, 2012


Is there a Steffi Graf reference I missed somewhere, or is it just a random thing?

true fact: in Brazilian Portuguese they have a really hard time with words that end in a consonant. Steffi Graf was at her peak when I was living in Brazil, where they called her "Steffi Graffi." She is forever Steffi Graffi to me.
posted by ambrosia (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 10:21 PM on March 31, 2012


I am so confused.
posted by mollymayhem (starter) at 10:22 PM on March 31, 2012


Oh, duh. Never mind.
posted by ambrosia (starblazers) at 10:22 PM on March 31, 2012


I hope someone who has a better OS/screen-shot app than I do is posting the gems somewhere.
posted by trip and a half (simple machine) at 10:22 PM on March 31, 2012


i want one
posted by changeling (scrappy-doo) at 10:22 PM on March 31, 2012


i want a different one
posted by changeling (scrappy-doo) at 10:23 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


My turn! What am I?
posted by Metroid Baby (stella) at 10:24 PM on March 31, 2012


This was a good one:
Finally, I get the respect I deserve around here!
posted by Salvor Hardin [winner] at 9:34 PM on March 31 [+] [!]
posted by slidell (newborn calf) at 10:24 PM on March 31, 2012


!
posted by Chionophilia (smithers) at 10:24 PM on March 31, 2012


What does a winder chicken do, I wonder?
posted by Eyebrows McGee (step) at 10:26 PM on March 31, 2012


At first I thought it was a greasemonkey script gone wrong.
posted by ZeusHumms (fapfapfap) at 10:26 PM on March 31, 2012


Oh, they all change if you refresh the page. Right now I'm SHAFT. I can dig it.
posted by Metroid Baby (chaff) at 10:27 PM on March 31, 2012


" Eyebrows McGee ('struth)"

Yeah I am!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (stent) at 10:27 PM on March 31, 2012


Whoa:

" What does a winder chicken do, I wonder? posted by Eyebrows McGee (stavrosthewinderchicken)"

It's watching me.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (sterling) at 10:28 PM on March 31, 2012


The winder chicken cracks me up!
posted by squid in a people suit (riffraff) at 10:28 PM on March 31, 2012


Google to bring autonomous vehicle technology to NASCAR.
posted by furiousxgeorge (st00pid) at 10:29 PM on March 31, 2012


hi me too please
posted by sunnichka (starburns) at 10:29 PM on March 31, 2012


I guess it's better than random staph infections.
posted by Confess, Fletch (karen carpenter) at 10:29 PM on March 31, 2012


Remember, with great power comes great irresponsibility.
posted by Dr. Zira (stars in your eyes) at 10:30 PM on March 31, 2012


What does a winder chicken do, I wonder?
posted by Eyebrows McGee (stippled)

Hm...everyone must get different results
posted by LionIndex (stuff) at 10:30 PM on March 31, 2012


hi me too please
posted by sunnichka (stapler)
thanks!
posted by sunnichka (sylvan learning center) at 10:30 PM on March 31, 2012


Ooooh, what do I get?
posted by Gary (staves) at 10:30 PM on March 31, 2012


Random my ass.
posted by Neale (staphylococcus) at 10:31 PM on March 31, 2012


Yep. I get a different tag on my own comment if I refresh.
posted by LionIndex (stebbins) at 10:31 PM on March 31, 2012


Even cortex is affected. Sweet.
posted by Mitheral (stuffing) at 10:31 PM on March 31, 2012


Now I wanna get hurf durf butter staffer!
posted by rtha (stodgy) at 10:32 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


So many stanley kubricks. So few p. diddys.
posted by Dr. Zira (snodgrass) at 10:32 PM on March 31, 2012


hi me too please
posted by sunnichka (stapler)
thanks!
posted by sunnichka (stodgy)
am not you bastards
posted by sunnichka (stavrosthewinderchicken) at 10:32 PM on March 31, 2012


I hope someone who has a better OS/screen-shot app than I do is posting the gems somewhere.
posted by trip and a half (stupid) at 12:22 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

Don't know if it's a gem but
posted by Sailormom (stodgy) at 10:32 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


Me too!
posted by runningwithscissors (naff) at 10:32 PM on March 31, 2012


At this moment mine says stavrosthewonderchicken. I lol'd.
posted by Mitheral (horse ebooks) at 10:33 PM on March 31, 2012


Don't know if it's a gem but
posted by Sailormom (fapfapfap) at 10:32 PM on March 31 [+] [!]

gem!
posted by rtha (steppenwolf) at 10:33 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


Everyone is banned, but is free to reapply for their old usernames!
posted by ignignokt (stand and deliver) at 10:33 PM on March 31, 2012


hi me too please
posted by sunnichka (stapler)
thanks!
posted by sunnichka (stodgy)
am not you bastards
posted by sunnichka (star trek)
oh snap
posted by sunnichka (spouse) at 10:33 PM on March 31, 2012


Random my ass.
posted by Neale (stoopid) at 10:31 PM on March 31 [+] [!]
posted by oneswellfoop (starfish kisses) at 10:34 PM on March 31, 2012


STELLLLLLAAAAAH
posted by ignignokt (stella) at 10:34 PM on March 31, 2012


hi me too please
posted by sunnichka (stapler)
thanks!
posted by sunnichka (stodgy)
am not you bastards
posted by sunnichka (star trek)
oh snap
posted by sunnichka (staves)
good i was hoping for a verb
posted by sunnichka (stan the potato man) at 10:34 PM on March 31, 2012


This one goes to eleven.
posted by blaneyphoto (start) at 10:36 PM on March 31, 2012


Thank you, Sailormom! Several gems in there. But now I realize there's just going to be an endless flood of gems. But don't let that stop you, people!
posted by trip and a half (starburns) at 10:36 PM on March 31, 2012


Staff me, yeah like that.
posted by Trivia Newton John (naff) at 10:36 PM on March 31, 2012


That turned out better than I could have planned it.
posted by Trivia Newton John (mr. belvedere) at 10:36 PM on March 31, 2012


If I don't get to sleep in another hour, I'm gonna try to pokemon (GOTTA GET EM ALL) all the IDs. Or I'm gonna do a meltdown/flameout here where nobody will take it seriously.
posted by oneswellfoop (newborn calf) at 10:36 PM on March 31, 2012


IT JUST KEEPS DOING IT! I love this FLT.
posted by Trivia Newton John (cory doctorow) at 10:37 PM on March 31, 2012


I want to be Sterrance. Awww.
posted by Metroid Baby (fapfapfap) at 10:37 PM on March 31, 2012


Cool!
posted by lee (sunday sunday SUNDAY) at 10:37 PM on March 31, 2012


Yay!!
posted by nooneyouknow (stamos potential) at 10:38 PM on March 31, 2012


Whaaaaaaaaaaat?
posted by susanbeeswax (stebbins) at 10:39 PM on March 31, 2012


Mod note: Comments deleted. If you have to talk about grilled cheese, please take it to fromagefrottage.metafilter.com]

(giddy with power, I tell you)
posted by zippy (stupid) at 10:40 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


First I got "riffraff" and I was sad.
Then I got "winner" and I was happy.
Then I saw it wasn't just me and I was sad again.
But then I got "hurf durf butter staffer" and my life is complete.
posted by arcticseal (cory doctorow) at 10:43 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


he staves it off, our
lone, wracked star trekker:
with stodgy stapler
posted by sunnichka (stars in your eyes) at 10:45 PM on March 31, 2012


i want HURF DURF BUTTER STAFFER on a t-shirt, please.

you know, like the one i saw the other day on some dude walking toward me downtown. black t-shirt, big shiny gold foil lettering that read I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME DAD.

what.
posted by palomar (winner) at 10:45 PM on March 31, 2012


I've never ever posted on MeTa before. But the tags.
posted by bbuda (stable boy) at 10:45 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


he staves it off, our
lone, wracked star trekker:
with stodgy stapler
posted by sunnichka (stoooooooooooooned)
et fin
posted by sunnichka (sylvan learning center) at 10:46 PM on March 31, 2012


it's fun to say "walking toward me downtown" in a faux irish accent. although mine keeps slipping more toward miss cleo territory. call me now for your free readin'! faith and begorrah!
posted by palomar (stabbatical) at 10:46 PM on March 31, 2012


Aha, finally the power I've always craved!

NO SELF-LINKING RECIPES IN METATALK HAVEN'T YOU READ THE FAQ YOU FIE' DOLLAH N000OOOooooOOOoooOOOooob!?
posted by carsonb (soup to nuts) at 10:46 PM on March 31, 2012


WHAT IS THIS TOMFOOLERY
posted by maqsarian (soup to nuts) at 10:47 PM on March 31, 2012


omg, I forgot it was April Fools today. So many crises averted.
posted by stoneandstar (giraffed) at 10:47 PM on March 31, 2012


Cool.
posted by oceano (star trek) at 10:47 PM on March 31, 2012


boioioioioioioioing
posted by palomar (sylvan learning center) at 10:49 PM on March 31, 2012


Yes, that's the idea, Burhanistan! More of this, please.
posted by trip and a half (mr. belvedere) at 10:50 PM on March 31, 2012


Please for to be entaggening.
posted by Cold Lurkey (esteban) at 10:51 PM on March 31, 2012


Me me please!
posted by Kerasia (farts) at 10:52 PM on March 31, 2012


That's what all the men say down at the ED clinic - "That babe Kerasia has staffing solutions."
posted by Kerasia (taffy) at 10:54 PM on March 31, 2012


LATE TO THE PARTY
posted by zennish (stoned) at 10:55 PM on March 31, 2012


...and yet STILL A WINNER
posted by zennish (naff) at 10:55 PM on March 31, 2012


Life: the greatest April Fools Day joke of all.
posted by Kerasia (stagger lee) at 10:56 PM on March 31, 2012


barely legal got the one I wanted

(this IS the first time I've said that phrase, I swear)

it was farts that I wanted

(also a first)
posted by MCMikeNamara (sterling) at 10:56 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


heh
posted by MCMikeNamara (stan the potato man) at 10:57 PM on March 31, 2012


what
posted by Gator (riffraff) at 10:58 PM on March 31, 2012


Is this something I'd have an internet to understand? I quit that before it was cool.
posted by five fresh fish (stoned) at 10:59 PM on March 31, 2012


Cold Lurkey farts is making my whole day right now

wow, that sounds awkward when it's outside of my head
posted by palomar (staple singers) at 10:59 PM on March 31, 2012


well i never
posted by stray (esteban) at 11:03 PM on March 31, 2012


It's April 1st every day for the Blaze, baby.
posted by Blazecock Pileon (stentoria) at 11:03 PM on March 31, 2012


Wow, that is in fact my official job description. How'd you know?
posted by stray (half) at 11:03 PM on March 31, 2012


Ooh, shiny!
posted by it must be bunnies (stentoria) at 11:05 PM on March 31, 2012


Today we are all staff.
posted by mosessis (karen carpenter) at 11:07 PM on March 31, 2012


Me gusta.
posted by Neilopolis (raff scaff) at 11:08 PM on March 31, 2012


So, going back into the archives some time after this... unless the tags get glued to this thread once April Fools is over, this is going to be one hell of a strange thread.

I'm all for it.

I, personally, hope I can be SHAFT to someone, somewhere, and remain SHAFT forever afterward.
posted by neewom (startled moose) at 11:08 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


*burp*
posted by cgg (stilettos) at 11:12 PM on March 31, 2012


I just want esteban.
posted by Drumhellz (starburns) at 11:12 PM on March 31, 2012


Nice.
posted by crossoverman (staring contest) at 11:14 PM on March 31, 2012


I go outside for a week and just look what happens to this place!
posted by Devils Rancher (studebaker) at 11:14 PM on March 31, 2012


Thanks to a James Herriot story that made a huge impression on 13-year-old me, I want "shillelagh" pls.
posted by cybercoitus interruptus (stalin) at 11:14 PM on March 31, 2012


What happened here?
posted by AElfwine Evenstar (star light star bright) at 11:17 PM on March 31, 2012


10 refreshes later it still wouldn't give me "shillelagh" but I stopped at "winner" so, ok, good enough.
posted by cybercoitus interruptus (staring contest) at 11:17 PM on March 31, 2012


God damn you it must be bunnies you stole MY staff tag :)
posted by AElfwine Evenstar (silver surfer) at 11:18 PM on March 31, 2012


tag plz
posted by jourman2 (starfish kisses) at 11:18 PM on March 31, 2012


Tag! You're it!
posted by daniel_charms (steppenwolf) at 11:21 PM on March 31, 2012


Okay, I decided to stop being lazy and figure out how to immortalize neewom.
posted by trip and a half (stars in your eyes) at 11:22 PM on March 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


so far (in no particular order, may not be complete, some duplicates may occur so sue me)...

(stifler)
(starburns)
(staves)
(shillelagh)
(graph)
(stanley kubrick)
(start)
(stop sign)
('struth)
(hurf durf butter staffer)
(stoned)
(chaff)
(stavrosthewonderchicken)
(waft)
(half)
(stefi graf)
(stef)
(stiffie)
(president taft)
(steve-o)
(naff)
(stazi)
(spouse)
(zach braf)
(giraffed)
(stuffed)
(fapfapfap)
(stiff)
(stella)
(stout)
(stodgy)
(star wars)
(stanky)
(esteban)
(SHAFT)
(stephen hawking)
(shillelagh)
(gaffe)
(stuffed)
(staph)
(step)
(stippled)
(stooped)
(graft)
(stopped)
(stent)
(nobody understands him but his woman )
(stoopid)
(puff daddy)
(newborn calf)
(stoat)
(stuffing)
(naff)
(stapler)
(starvin')
(stacked)
(behalf)
(raff scaff)
(stentoria)
(taffy)
(calved)
(waft)
(fapfapfap)
(stebbins)
(stet)
(stars in your eyes)
(starvin')
(stodgy)
(stilettos)
(studmuffin)
('struth)
(stuffing)
(stentoria)
(stupid)
(graft)
(sterling)
(starter)
(pfaff)
(staffing solutions)
(riff raff)
(star light star bright)
(stagger lee)
(stamps.com)
(stack exchange)
(stax exchange)
(stamen)
(studebaker)
(mood)
(stadia)
(stoooooooooooooned)
(winner)
posted by oneswellfoop (seven chinese brothers) at 11:23 PM on March 31, 2012 [2 favorites]


I don't understand what's going on. It's still March on the west coast. But I wholeheartedly approve.
posted by ActingTheGoat (stella) at 11:27 PM on March 31, 2012


よっしゃ！
posted by emmling (stan the potato man) at 11:30 PM on March 31, 2012


I should not have taken that last Percoset.
posted by Karlos the Jackal (stentoria) at 11:32 PM on March 31, 2012


:0 haha whooo
posted by beepbeepboopboop (stef) at 11:36 PM on March 31, 2012


okay, when I saw (stable boy) I gave up.
posted by oneswellfoop (stack hat) at 11:38 PM on March 31, 2012


Excellent!!! *cracks knuckles*
posted by DreamerFi (sweeney toddler) at 11:40 PM on March 31, 2012


stamps.com!
posted by two lights above the sea (step) at 11:41 PM on March 31, 2012


Meanwhile, I am also enjoying the Ad Paws Ad Block kitty goodness on the rest of the web.
posted by mephisjo (no soap) at 11:43 PM on March 31, 2012


Woop woop!
posted by Juso No Thankyou (stats) at 11:45 PM on March 31, 2012


How come filthy light thief got to do this?

Because he's a member of the staves, obviously.
posted by cortex (stupid) at 9:29 PM on March 31 [2 favorites +] [!]

There were (hilarious and fun) reasons. I KNOW WHAT I SAW!!!
posted by trip and a half (stars in your eyes) at 11:45 PM on March 31, 2012


Looks like what we have on our hands here . . .

sunglasses

Is one mighty big staff infection.

YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
posted by secret about box (no soap) at 11:52 PM on March 31, 2012 [3 favorites]


Hi, what's happening? It's after midday, ya know.
posted by h00py (stuffing) at 11:53 PM on March 31, 2012


Stodgy!
posted by h00py (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 11:53 PM on March 31, 2012


Fun! Thank you!
posted by marimeko (horse ebooks) at 12:01 AM on April 1, 2012


Lolz.
posted by alby (stoopid) at 12:05 AM on April 1, 2012


Okay, I decided to stop being lazy and figure out how to immortalize neewom.

Oh, trip and a half, I love you so much.
posted by neewom (start) at 12:05 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Did I miss it?
posted by ninazer0 (staphylococcus) at 12:06 AM on April 1, 2012


I have nothing clever to say.
As usual.
posted by ApathyGirl (mood) at 12:07 AM on April 1, 2012


This is the best thing that has happened to me all day....
posted by ninazer0 (stoopid) at 12:07 AM on April 1, 2012


Gimmee something good!
posted by Brandon Blatcher (stan the potato man) at 12:09 AM on April 1, 2012


oooh ooh what's mine?!
posted by iamkimiam (stuffed) at 12:09 AM on April 1, 2012


oh.
posted by iamkimiam (starfish kisses) at 12:09 AM on April 1, 2012


Noooooooooo!
posted by Brandon Blatcher (stasi) at 12:09 AM on April 1, 2012


Okay, so on posting I got stamps.com, which is like, whoa man, cause I totally worked there.
You know, back in the day.
posted by ApathyGirl (stiff) at 12:09 AM on April 1, 2012


And then my val-speak laden post got labeled 'stoned' so... I'm just going to shut up before I cause a singularity or something.
posted by ApathyGirl (snuffleuppagus) at 12:12 AM on April 1, 2012


Brandon, your exclamation was oddly appropriate in my little window:

Noooooooooo!
posted by Brandon Blatcher (stanley kubrick) at 3:09 AM on April 1 [+] [!]
posted by neewom (starvin') at 12:14 AM on April 1, 2012


People, lend me your ears for I have an urgent question: has anyone managed to figure out just how they got all those cats to fit in a scanner? Anyone?
posted by MattMangels (stanky) at 12:15 AM on April 1, 2012


♪ You get me closer to mod. ♫
posted by Pronoiac (starfish kisses) at 12:18 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yay, sterling!
posted by Pronoiac (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 12:18 AM on April 1, 2012


Tag check.
posted by empyrean (stoooooooooooooned) at 12:28 AM on April 1, 2012


Oddly enough, it's accurate.
posted by empyrean (stamos potential) at 12:29 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh nuts I just banninated myself. A little help?
posted by Pronoiac (stand and deliver) at 12:29 AM on April 1, 2012


This and the Adblock kittens are the only AFJs I'm enjoying today. Grumble grumble.
posted by knile (standup comedian) at 12:29 AM on April 1, 2012


Æ å bør vær me!
posted by Dumsnill (spouse) at 12:31 AM on April 1, 2012


Huzzah!
posted by lumensimus (stan the potato man) at 12:32 AM on April 1, 2012


this is glorious
posted by These Birds of a Feather (SHAFT) at 12:32 AM on April 1, 2012


Happy April Fish Day everyone! (Neat trick FLT.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl (president taft) at 12:38 AM on April 1, 2012


anyway
posted by philip-random (stefi graf) at 12:39 AM on April 1, 2012


I wants one too.
posted by lollusc (waft) at 12:40 AM on April 1, 2012


Mod note: NOT STAFF-IST
posted by daniel_charms (simple machine) at 12:40 AM on April 1, 2012


Oooh.
posted by lollusc (mr. belvedere) at 12:40 AM on April 1, 2012


Actually, I think I'll bask in the warmth of the northern hemisphere's April Fools celebrations and help myself to another. Ta!
posted by h00py (puff daddy) at 12:44 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I hope my mine is Flounder.
posted by malthusan (stockholm syndrome) at 12:44 AM on April 1, 2012


Staff of Fats
posted by daniel_charms (smithers release the hounds) at 12:45 AM on April 1, 2012


woot
posted by TungstenChef (stack exchange) at 12:48 AM on April 1, 2012


This is pretty much proof that we're all too easily amused, isn't it?
posted by BitterOldPunk (scrappy-doo) at 12:49 AM on April 1, 2012 [3 favorites]


Stodgy stanky stiffie.
posted by BitterOldPunk (stamen) at 12:51 AM on April 1, 2012


You dipsticks. April Fools was finished 6 hours ago.
posted by malibustacey9999 (stippled) at 12:52 AM on April 1, 2012


Love this so hard.
posted by rhapsodie (stodgy) at 12:54 AM on April 1, 2012


wake up wake up its the first of the monthhhh
posted by raihan_ (standardized test) at 12:55 AM on April 1, 2012


wins wins wins!
posted by Catch (start) at 12:58 AM on April 1, 2012


I say things.
posted by IvoShandor (stack hat) at 12:58 AM on April 1, 2012


This is pretty much proof that we're all too easily amused, isn't it?

Me stiffie, you stiffie.
posted by IvoShandor (staves) at 12:59 AM on April 1, 2012


This is, for serious, my birthday. Everyone who knows me will point out it's all too fitting.

So when the whole internet tries to out-prank itself, it makes me happy.
posted by cmyk (staple singers) at 1:01 AM on April 1, 2012


:D
posted by zarq (smithers release the hounds) at 1:02 AM on April 1, 2012


latkes: I still remember fondly the April Fool's AskMe page. Can I still find that somewhere?

The fake AskMe questions are still around. There's a fairly comprehensive (self-plug) page for site jokes on the wiki.
posted by Pronoiac (stent) at 1:02 AM on April 1, 2012 [2 favorites]


Rolling......
posted by nestor_makhno (sweeney toddler) at 1:02 AM on April 1, 2012


"steve-o"?? Hmph.
posted by zarq (star trek) at 1:02 AM on April 1, 2012


[Insert meaningful content here]
posted by Infinite Jest (stfu) at 1:02 AM on April 1, 2012


THAT'S BETTER.
posted by zarq (spouse) at 1:02 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh, that's just odd. They change with every reload. Talk about an ephemeral high.
posted by zarq (stopped) at 1:03 AM on April 1, 2012


...or low, as the case may be.
posted by zarq (standup bass) at 1:03 AM on April 1, 2012


what
posted by utsutsu (stupid) at 1:04 AM on April 1, 2012


Started with "stout", went to "spouse".

That's progress I guess, kids.
posted by Infinite Jest (hurf durf butter staffer) at 1:05 AM on April 1, 2012


posted by zarq (star trek) at 4:02 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]

That's worth preserving!
posted by zarq (stet) at 1:05 AM on April 1, 2012


Google gets in on the act.(the april fools act that is)
posted by AElfwine Evenstar (staffing solutions) at 1:06 AM on April 1, 2012 [2 favorites]


I JUST POOPED ON MY OWN FACE
posted by dirigibleman (farts) at 1:06 AM on April 1, 2012


*Shakes dice*
*Rolls*
posted by stet (stuffing) at 1:08 AM on April 1, 2012


DAMNIT!
posted by stet (stamps.com) at 1:08 AM on April 1, 2012


Once more.
posted by stet (hairway to steven) at 1:08 AM on April 1, 2012


I JUST POOPED ON MY OWN FACE
posted by dirigibleman (waft) at 1:06 AM

*fans the air toward stet*
posted by taz (stalin) at 1:10 AM on April 1, 2012


rolling for mod
posted by secret about box (stef) at 1:11 AM on April 1, 2012


This username remains embarrassing, but one more try to get it to match.
posted by stet (stuffing) at 1:11 AM on April 1, 2012


I may have to out my sock puppet for this.
posted by wierdo (hairway to steven) at 1:13 AM on April 1, 2012


I JUST POOPED ON MY OWN FACE
posted by dirigibleman (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 7:06 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

I'm so happy right now. (I'm not his woman, by the way).
posted by h00py (mood) at 1:14 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh, that's just odd. They change with every reload.

There's some kind of Zen lesson being taught here, I think.
posted by secret about box (spouse) at 1:14 AM on April 1, 2012


Finally, I get the respect I deserve around here!
posted by Salvor Hardin (stoopid) at 12:34 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]

Heh.
posted by zarq (standardized test) at 1:15 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Test comment, please ignore.
posted by fight or flight (stack hat) at 1:16 AM on April 1, 2012


Once more.
posted by stet (stef) at 4:08 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]

Now they're just playing with you.....
posted by zarq (stagger lee) at 1:17 AM on April 1, 2012


Boo-yah!
posted by stet (stalwart) at 1:18 AM on April 1, 2012 [3 favorites]


OOOH! GOT IT!

*Shakes dice*
*Rolls*
posted by stet (hurf durf butter staffer) at 4:08 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]


DAMNIT!
posted by stet (stet) at 4:08 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]


Once more.
posted by stet (spouse) at 4:08 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]
posted by zarq (stuffed) at 1:18 AM on April 1, 2012


Ha! That's hilarious.
posted by zarq (graph) at 1:18 AM on April 1, 2012


I may have to out my sock puppet for this.
posted by wierdo (stoned) at 3:13 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

How did you know????
posted by wierdo (gaffe) at 1:18 AM on April 1, 2012


Don't you dare put a tag by my name, FLT!
posted by P.o.B. (stentoria) at 1:19 AM on April 1, 2012


fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu
posted by P.o.B. (stent) at 1:19 AM on April 1, 2012


I may have to out my sock puppet for this.
posted by wierdo (stoned) at 3:13 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

How did you know????
posted by wierdo (stoooooooooooooned) at 7:18 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

It's just so goddamn meta.
posted by h00py (newborn calf) at 1:20 AM on April 1, 2012


Once there was a guy from Atlanta whose limericks were indistinguishable from prose.
posted by Joseph Gurl (stamp out litter) at 1:21 AM on April 1, 2012


Boo-yah!
posted by stet (stet) at 1:18 AM on April 1 [2 favorites +] [!]
posted by oneswellfoop (stoned) at 1:21 AM on April 1, 2012


h00py, I got:

I may have to out my sock puppet for this.
posted by wierdo (stoned) at 3:13 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

How did you know????
posted by wierdo ('struth) at 3:18 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]

Now the paranoia isn't going to let up for a week at least.
posted by wierdo (stacked) at 1:21 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I JUST POOPED ON MY OWN FACE
posted by dirigibleman (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 7:06 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

I'm so happy right now. (I'm not his woman, by the way).
posted by h00py (farts) at 4:14 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

I don't even know where to go from that.

OOOH! GOT IT!

*Shakes dice*
*Rolls*
posted by stet (hurf durf butter staffer) at 4:08 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]


DAMNIT!
posted by stet (stet) at 4:08 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]


Once more.
posted by stet (spouse) at 4:08 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]
posted by zarq (stop sign) at 4:18 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

Heh.
posted by dirigibleman (stagger lee) at 1:22 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Those crazy mods!
posted by h00py (stand and deliver) at 1:22 AM on April 1, 2012


it's starting to get way too appropriate to be totally random.
posted by oneswellfoop (stippled) at 1:23 AM on April 1, 2012


Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing? It is sooooo funny. Here let me go ahead and copy pasta half a page of comments...
posted by P.o.B. (studebaker) at 1:24 AM on April 1, 2012


Am I too late? I want one!
posted by emd3737 (stifler) at 1:25 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh, P.o.B., you party pooper.
posted by h00py (farts) at 1:25 AM on April 1, 2012


zarq: ""steve-o"?? Hmph."

Crosses fingers for the collectible "Steve Holt!" tag...
posted by arcticseal (star wars) at 1:26 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Requesting a 'stamp licker' tag.
posted by daniel_charms (seven chinese brothers) at 1:29 AM on April 1, 2012


fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu
posted by P.o.B. (fapfapfap) at 1:19 AM on April 1

I knew I brought the box of tissues along for a reason.
posted by taz (staph) at 1:29 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wet wipes please. I can't properly poop a party without 'em.
posted by P.o.B. (step) at 1:31 AM on April 1, 2012


Ask for "Steve Holt!" and get zach braf. Ruling.
posted by Joseph Gurl (stagger lee) at 1:31 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm in this thread w/ 329 others.
posted by finite (sweeney toddler) at 1:32 AM on April 1, 2012


.
posted by eyeballkid (stab) at 1:32 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


This staph thing seems pretty contagious...
posted by Petrot (stooped) at 1:34 AM on April 1, 2012


This thread reminds me of this yt vid.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar (standup comedian) at 1:34 AM on April 1, 2012


.
posted by eyeballkid (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 1:32 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

I LOLed. Honest.
posted by oneswellfoop (standup bass) at 1:34 AM on April 1, 2012


just when you think it's safe to go back into the thread...
posted by oneswellfoop (starvin') at 1:35 AM on April 1, 2012


If holidays weren't so unAmerican, April 1st would be a good one to declare as the next national one.
posted by i_cola (taffy) at 1:36 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm kinda surprised it hasn't been co-opted by greeting card companies or beer brewers...
posted by oneswellfoop (calved) at 1:39 AM on April 1, 2012


.
posted by crysflame (stab) at 1:39 AM on April 1, 2012


¿Y en el Dia de los Inocentes nada?
posted by Omon Ra (stupid) at 1:39 AM on April 1, 2012


Who's in charge around here?
posted by vacapinta (stagger lee) at 1:41 AM on April 1, 2012


I hate to break it to you, vac, but YOU ARE.
posted by oneswellfoop (stuffing) at 1:42 AM on April 1, 2012


(for no other reason than that you were the first to ask)
posted by oneswellfoop (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 1:43 AM on April 1, 2012


last?

probably not
posted by ZeroAmbition (stack hat) at 1:45 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm afraid not, no.
posted by h00py (stalwart) at 1:47 AM on April 1, 2012


Dude!
posted by ooga_booga (stanky) at 1:50 AM on April 1, 2012


Blah
posted by lee (stefi graf) at 1:58 AM on April 1, 2012


What is this i don't even
posted by Acheman (horse ebooks) at 1:59 AM on April 1, 2012


Fun.
posted by solotoro (mood) at 2:07 AM on April 1, 2012


WELP GOTTA FIND OUT
posted by tzikeh (standup bass) at 2:10 AM on April 1, 2012


*goes to enspousen studebaker*
posted by tzikeh (stamps.com) at 2:10 AM on April 1, 2012


All of you have too much time on your hands.
posted by HuronBob (soup to nuts) at 2:11 AM on April 1, 2012


*Crosses fingers*
posted by HandfulOfDust (starship trooper) at 2:13 AM on April 1, 2012


This audacious wayward-ness is most delight-ful indeed. A most frolic-some romp in a the court-yard of our dreams. This is a caper most punctuated with mischievous-ness!

Sorry, I wanted to call shenanigans but someone other rapscallion employed the word before I could even load the paper into my type-writer so I went with this Thesaurus driven approach punctuated with old-timey hyphens a la the old Onion guy
posted by aydeejones (starfish kisses) at 2:13 AM on April 1, 2012 [2 favorites]


ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
posted by daniel_charms (hairway to steven) at 2:21 AM on April 1, 2012


I need one!
posted by likeso (stockholm syndrome) at 2:27 AM on April 1, 2012


Only a few hours of April one left here
posted by meech (staphylococcus) at 2:36 AM on April 1, 2012


This is great!
posted by shelleycat (stefi graf) at 2:36 AM on April 1, 2012


Yay!
posted by severiina (stamps.com) at 2:39 AM on April 1, 2012


huh?
posted by aheckler (stamp tramp) at 2:40 AM on April 1, 2012


Let's see....
posted by Harald74 (stacked) at 2:42 AM on April 1, 2012


Happy 'Don't believe anything you see on the web' day!
posted by fearfulsymmetry (starblazers) at 2:44 AM on April 1, 2012


I too am in this thread.
posted by Jofus (stafu) at 2:45 AM on April 1, 2012


Must post.
posted by that girl (stalin) at 2:50 AM on April 1, 2012


but I'm not a boy!
posted by that girl (stockholm syndrome) at 2:51 AM on April 1, 2012


Guess I may as well post too.
posted by knapah (startled moose) at 2:51 AM on April 1, 2012


whooooo!
posted by kalimac (sartori) at 2:57 AM on April 1, 2012


It's like getting my fortune told....
posted by GenjiandProust (mood) at 3:07 AM on April 1, 2012


This is so awesome.
posted by Admiral Haddock (puff daddy) at 3:10 AM on April 1, 2012


I can't see mine :(
posted by carter (SHAFT) at 3:11 AM on April 1, 2012


This really is a delightful April Fool's joke, well done. :)
posted by smoke (snuffleuppagus) at 3:15 AM on April 1, 2012


Let's see what we got here...
posted by Jilder (naff) at 3:18 AM on April 1, 2012


I wonder if it's the same tag for every comment.
posted by Jilder (no soap) at 3:18 AM on April 1, 2012


How many unique tags are there ?
posted by Pendragon (staple singers) at 3:27 AM on April 1, 2012


Can we keep the tags for the rest of time ?
posted by Pendragon (esteban) at 3:28 AM on April 1, 2012


I posted a splendid April Fools joke in FB and fooled everyone! It was great.
posted by By The Grace of God (stoooooooooooooned) at 3:34 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh my
posted by litleozy (stef) at 3:36 AM on April 1, 2012


.
posted by missmagenta (shillelagh) at 3:37 AM on April 1, 2012


Heh.
posted by robocop is bleeding (pfaff) at 3:41 AM on April 1, 2012


Wha
posted by goshling (simple machine) at 3:44 AM on April 1, 2012


wait, wtf?
posted by russm (sartori) at 3:45 AM on April 1, 2012


*Arrives late to party, but with his drink on.*

I'll draw a card.
posted by three blind mice (stiff) at 3:46 AM on April 1, 2012


boom!
posted by latch24 (staphylococcus) at 3:47 AM on April 1, 2012


?!?!
posted by mdonley (stafu) at 3:52 AM on April 1, 2012


(I want a redo.)
posted by mdonley (stamps.com) at 3:52 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm not here
posted by parmanparman (stairway to heaven) at 3:55 AM on April 1, 2012


am I too late to enjoy this?
posted by b33j (stiffie) at 4:00 AM on April 1, 2012


Woot! I always wanted to be a mood.
posted by b33j (steve-o) at 4:01 AM on April 1, 2012


What! Stupid puff daddy??? Noooooooooooooooooooo.
posted by b33j (mood) at 4:03 AM on April 1, 2012


poop
posted by Stynxno (stairway to heaven) at 4:12 AM on April 1, 2012


\o/
posted by bh (puff daddy) at 4:17 AM on April 1, 2012


Well, I never!
posted by zizzle (staph) at 4:17 AM on April 1, 2012


Dude, I came in here specifically to post the phrase "well, I never." Way to steal my thunder.
posted by Bulgaroktonos (no soap) at 4:19 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


*pokes*
posted by Skybly (stout) at 4:21 AM on April 1, 2012


?
posted by rdr (sylvan learning center) at 4:22 AM on April 1, 2012


!
posted by Chairboy (stuffing) at 4:27 AM on April 1, 2012


Why am I up at 5am?
posted by never used baby shoes (cory doctorow) at 4:28 AM on April 1, 2012


[A couple comments removed. Please behave like you're used to this please.]
posted by klarck (mr. belvedere) at 4:32 AM on April 1, 2012


Testing...
posted by Godwin Interjection (starship trooper) at 4:35 AM on April 1, 2012


Me! Me! I want one.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts (stalwart) at 4:36 AM on April 1, 2012


I, too, inexplicably desire to see my username next to a random word in a bright yellow box. Thanks in advance! (I think)
posted by argonauta (starvin') at 4:38 AM on April 1, 2012


posted by argonauta (stanley kubrick) at 12:38 PM on April 1

Damn. I wanted to be Stanley Kubrick.
posted by Len (stiff) at 4:39 AM on April 1, 2012


Forty minutes too late nooooooooooo...
posted by Chichibio (horse ebooks) at 4:41 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh, it still works. Must be a US timezone thing. Phew.
posted by Chichibio (studebaker) at 4:41 AM on April 1, 2012


I love this game!
posted by honey-barbara (stentoria) at 4:47 AM on April 1, 2012


My cat played an April Fools joke on us at 5 am this morning. Only instead of a joke it was poo.
posted by Kimberly (behalf) at 4:48 AM on April 1, 2012


POISSON D'AVRIL !

(don't ask me why fish on April 1st I don't know I just live here and have citizenship)
posted by fraula (stilettos) at 4:53 AM on April 1, 2012


pffffffff this site is SOOO Anglo-centric. "Stop sign"? Come ooon. "Arrêt", s'il vous plaît.
posted by fraula (stapler) at 4:53 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh cool. I always wanted to be a random member of the staff.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs (SHAFT) at 4:58 AM on April 1, 2012


This ALMOST makes up for me having to work today.
posted by bibliogrrl (smithers) at 4:58 AM on April 1, 2012


Come ooon. "Arrêt", s'il vous plaît.

except that doesn't start with "s"
posted by russm (standup bass) at 4:59 AM on April 1, 2012


It's going to be a good week.
posted by safetyfork (stacked) at 4:59 AM on April 1, 2012


Me too!
posted by OsoMeaty (stamos potential) at 4:59 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Just checking me.
posted by Stewriffic (stabilizer) at 5:11 AM on April 1, 2012


I want one!
posted by bilabial (stabbatical) at 5:17 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm only here for the free beer tags.
posted by get off of my cloud (star trek) at 5:20 AM on April 1, 2012


My cat played an April Fools joke on us at 5 am this morning. Only instead of a joke it was poo.
posted by Kimberly (stoooooooooooooned) at 7:48 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

Yep, that works.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (stoned) at 5:21 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh, dear.
posted by Johnny Wallflower (staring contest) at 5:23 AM on April 1, 2012


This is the greatest.
posted by Scientist (hairway to steven) at 5:23 AM on April 1, 2012


My staff tag is calling me names. :(
posted by subbes (chaff) at 5:25 AM on April 1, 2012


Jesus.

Me too!
posted by OsoMeaty (chickenfucker) at 7:59 AM on April 1

I want one!
posted by bilabial (support santorum) at 8:17 AM

Yep, that works.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (lobotomy) at 8:21 AM on April 1
posted by gman (stafu) at 5:29 AM on April 1, 2012


How did you do it?
posted by jgirl (staffing solutions) at 5:31 AM on April 1, 2012


I am stooped -- how did it know???
posted by jgirl (stifler) at 5:31 AM on April 1, 2012


But now I'm not -- that's great!
posted by jgirl (stabbatical) at 5:32 AM on April 1, 2012


Well, since I'm up an hour early because my clock was set an hour ahead this morning I might as well see what the fuss is about over in Metatalk.
posted by bondcliff (president taft) at 5:32 AM on April 1, 2012


Outstanding.
posted by bondcliff (stfu) at 5:33 AM on April 1, 2012


I want one!!!!
posted by pearlybob (ffats) at 5:36 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


.staff { position: relative; top: -1px; }
posted by seanmpuckett (stuffed) at 5:37 AM on April 1, 2012


Bad ass!
posted by ersatzkat (karen carpenter) at 5:43 AM on April 1, 2012


Thanks, FLT!
posted by Alison (stella) at 5:44 AM on April 1, 2012


:-/
posted by phatkitten (spouse) at 8:45 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

Well maybe you out to leave the commune then.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (standup bass) at 5:48 AM on April 1, 2012


Huh.
posted by donpardo (sweeney toddler) at 5:48 AM on April 1, 2012


Yes! I hope I get "Staph"
posted by dirtdirt (starter) at 5:50 AM on April 1, 2012


#fortune
posted by clorox (stiffie) at 5:51 AM on April 1, 2012


Yes, just because.
posted by sammyo (silver surfer) at 5:54 AM on April 1, 2012


Stapler? Stapler. Stapler? STAPLER!
posted by The White Hat (stippled) at 5:55 AM on April 1, 2012


Good news, everyone!
posted by audi alteram partem (hairway to steven) at 5:56 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I want in in this too
posted by ShawnString (raff scaff) at 5:57 AM on April 1, 2012


I want one, I want one! Ugh, I didn't want THAT one!
posted by briank (no soap) at 5:58 AM on April 1, 2012


Hehe. I'm 3 S's in a row. WOOT
posted by ShawnString (stagger lee) at 5:58 AM on April 1, 2012


You all realize, of course, that tomorrow, when those tags are gone, this thread is going to make you all look like lunatics.

oh, wait...never mind
posted by HuronBob (giraffed) at 6:01 AM on April 1, 2012


I feel so trustworthy right now guys
posted by en forme de poire (no soap) at 6:04 AM on April 1, 2012


oh HELL no.
posted by en forme de poire (starvin') at 6:04 AM on April 1, 2012


Meh.
posted by eriko (stalwart) at 6:04 AM on April 1, 2012


I said Meh!
posted by eriko (starburns) at 6:05 AM on April 1, 2012


cool!
posted by Curious Artificer (step) at 6:05 AM on April 1, 2012


That's better.
posted by eriko (ffats) at 6:05 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm just going to keep hitting refresh until I get a good'un, and then leave for the day.
posted by Curious Artificer (stippled) at 6:09 AM on April 1, 2012


A+
posted by soundofsuburbia (calved) at 6:10 AM on April 1, 2012


Survey says...
posted by qwip (stamps.com) at 6:12 AM on April 1, 2012


Good answer
posted by qwip (studebaker) at 6:12 AM on April 1, 2012


We may be over-staffed at this point.
posted by ShutterBun (stasi) at 6:14 AM on April 1, 2012


Hey!!
posted by ShutterBun (starvin') at 6:15 AM on April 1, 2012


and today I learned that I am, sometimes, a joiner.
posted by namewithoutwords (hurf durf butter staffer) at 6:18 AM on April 1, 2012


At last, my contributions have been properly appreciated by bringing me on staff. w00t!
posted by kaibutsu (stack o toads) at 6:18 AM on April 1, 2012


Lol. Not according that tag namewithoutwords
posted by ShawnString (staffing solutions) at 6:19 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh I see now they always change. Poo
posted by ShawnString (startled moose) at 6:20 AM on April 1, 2012


In before...


nevermind
posted by ephemerista (stasi) at 6:21 AM on April 1, 2012


CATS FOR ALL.
posted by Wuggie Norple (stuffing) at 6:24 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh! Do me! Do me!
posted by msali (stifler) at 6:24 AM on April 1, 2012


Yay!
posted by msali (fapfapfap) at 6:25 AM on April 1, 2012


this is totalyyy sickkkk lmao
posted by BibiRose (stefi graf) at 6:26 AM on April 1, 2012


Foo
posted by dayintoday (half) at 6:27 AM on April 1, 2012


I must know...
posted by amy lecteur (shillelagh) at 6:28 AM on April 1, 2012


Heh. You know me too well.
posted by amy lecteur (stabilizer) at 6:30 AM on April 1, 2012


Edit buttons for everyone!
posted by MexicanYenta (smithers release the hounds) at 6:32 AM on April 1, 2012


Empirical testing reveals that the comment preceding this one is uproariously funny approximately 40% of the time. Carry on.
posted by amy lecteur (pfaff) at 6:32 AM on April 1, 2012


gman

They are in fact random. Mine shows as:

I want one!
posted by bilabial (star light star bright) at 8:17 AM on April 1 [+]
posted by bilabial (standardized test) at 6:34 AM on April 1, 2012


I dig this pony.
posted by Joey Michaels (stavrosthewinderchicken) at 6:34 AM on April 1, 2012


This is a stupid idea and I do not wish to participate.
posted by The Deej (newborn calf) at 6:34 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


HEY!!!!
posted by The Deej (taffy) at 6:34 AM on April 1, 2012


My turn.
posted by Obscure Reference (stadia) at 6:35 AM on April 1, 2012


OK, I'm...
posted by Kronos_to_Earth (stefi graf) at 6:36 AM on April 1, 2012


Liked it better before I hit refresh.
posted by ShutterBun (stupid) at 6:36 AM on April 1, 2012


I said Meh!
posted by eriko (farts) at 9:05 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

It's like a beautiful snapshot, forever captured, so that generations may gaze upon it in wonder.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (stabbatical) at 6:38 AM on April 1, 2012


ooh gotta try
posted by Cocodrillo (hairway to steven) at 6:39 AM on April 1, 2012


Can I just keep hitting refresh until I get to be President Taft?
posted by Cocodrillo (calved) at 6:41 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh, oops! Here is the proper thread for tag checking. Tag check!
posted by tickingclock (stilettos) at 6:44 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh, oops! Here is the proper thread for tag checking. Tag check!
posted by tickingclock (stapler) at 9:44 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

YESSS
posted by tickingclock (silver surfer) at 6:44 AM on April 1, 2012


Stoat. Oh, great.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth (stanky) at 6:45 AM on April 1, 2012


I am also here for special badgers.
posted by middleclasstool (stephen hawking) at 6:45 AM on April 1, 2012


lol butts
posted by elizardbits (stanley kubrick)

this just seems so appropriate somehow
posted by nathancaswell (stack o toads) at 6:46 AM on April 1, 2012


Metafilter: This Just seems so appropriate somehow
posted by slater (stuffing) at 6:48 AM on April 1, 2012


Judge me oh great random word assigner!
posted by nfg (stagger lee) at 6:49 AM on April 1, 2012


You can dome in the morning, you can dome in the night...
posted by norm (stan the potato man) at 6:49 AM on April 1, 2012


Good morning.
posted by EmpressCallipygos (shillelagh) at 6:50 AM on April 1, 2012


Ok.
posted by codacorolla (sterling) at 6:54 AM on April 1, 2012


Why do they keep changing?
posted by klausness (karen carpenter) at 6:54 AM on April 1, 2012


Good morning.
posted by EmpressCallipygos (puff daddy) at 9:50 AM on April 1 [+] [!]
posted by Brandon Blatcher (seven chinese brothers) at 6:54 AM on April 1, 2012


And the tag I got for my comment was "stoopid". I guess that sums it up...
posted by klausness (calved) at 6:55 AM on April 1, 2012


what
posted by dhruva (star wars) at 6:55 AM on April 1, 2012


I always said that my cats have staff. Now I'll have the stinkin' badge to go with the title...
posted by MonkeyToes (stavrosthewinderchicken) at 6:56 AM on April 1, 2012


I know more about this than you could possibly imagine!
posted by wittgenstein (mr. belvedere) at 6:56 AM on April 1, 2012


SWEATER STUFFERS
posted by Cool Papa Bell (stamps.com) at 6:56 AM on April 1, 2012


And my comment about my comment was tagged "fapfapfap". I get the hint.
posted by klausness (SHAFT) at 6:57 AM on April 1, 2012


Like
posted by Melismata (cory doctorow) at 6:57 AM on April 1, 2012


GO!
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza (esteban) at 6:58 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh, I want the "stasi" tag!
posted by Cool Papa Bell (standup bass) at 6:58 AM on April 1, 2012


:D
posted by zarq (fapfapfap) at 4:02 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

SWEATER STUFFERS
posted by Cool Papa Bell (stupid) at 9:56 AM on April 1 [+] [!]
posted by Brandon Blatcher (stopped) at 6:58 AM on April 1, 2012


This is fun!
posted by jenny76 (stapler) at 7:06 AM on April 1, 2012


Thank you!
posted by wiskunde (stifler) at 7:07 AM on April 1, 2012


This is fun!
posted by jenny76 (stacked) at 10:06 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

Yeah, pretty much.
posted by jenny76 (standup bass) at 7:07 AM on April 1, 2012


i promised myself i wouldn't get involved in this nonsense
posted by Mach5 (starship trooper) at 7:11 AM on April 1, 2012


If nominated I will not run.
posted by Splunge (mood) at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2012


Do I get one?
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed (stilettos) at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2012


i promised myself i wouldn't get involved in this nonsense
posted by Mach5 (stupid) at 10:11 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

Why?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher (stax exchange) at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2012


Yes indeed!
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed (karen carpenter) at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2012


Interesting.
posted by Slinga (stuffing) at 7:14 AM on April 1, 2012


Does anyone read the posts down here?
posted by mygothlaundry (horse ebooks) at 7:15 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm just here for staves and spouses.
posted by yellowbinder (stoopid) at 7:15 AM on April 1, 2012


You sure this is a good idea?
posted by Ironmouth (stoooooooooooooned) at 7:16 AM on April 1, 2012


This is a comment.
posted by double block and bleed (stuff) at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2012


The woman in the office next to mine threatened to replace the sugar shaker with salt so I guess all the people who like sugar in their coffee are lucky that april 1st is on a sunday this year.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms (stuffed) at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2012


Must have a bit of the randomness!
posted by victoriab (star light star bright) at 7:18 AM on April 1, 2012


No "Smapdi, age six"?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe (sylvan learning center) at 7:18 AM on April 1, 2012


[fart sound]

not a judgement call, just think farts are hilarious
posted by troika (SHAFT) at 7:22 AM on April 1, 2012


Badges? Badges?

We don't need no stinkin' badges....
posted by jenkinsEar (star light star bright) at 7:24 AM on April 1, 2012


What?
posted by languagehat (scrappy-doo) at 7:26 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh!
posted by languagehat (stodgy) at 7:26 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh!
posted by languagehat (studmuffin) at 7:26 AM on April 1 [+] [!] Other [2/2]: «≡·

Heck yeah!
posted by rtha (smithers release the hounds) at 7:27 AM on April 1, 2012


yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
posted by Lucinda (smithers) at 7:38 AM on April 1, 2012


Whut?
posted by fuq (graft) at 7:40 AM on April 1, 2012


oooh oooh oooh me me me pick me _0/
posted by liza (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 7:43 AM on April 1, 2012


I have to know
posted by Elly Vortex (gaffe) at 7:43 AM on April 1, 2012


Here I am! I'm here!
posted by thinkpiece (staffing solutions) at 7:44 AM on April 1, 2012


Hope me
posted by Mick (stanley kubrick) at 7:45 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm not a mod, I'm a rocker!
posted by peppermind (stfu) at 7:49 AM on April 1, 2012


Me too! Me too!
posted by iminurmefi (stupid) at 7:53 AM on April 1, 2012


...
posted by danb (stephen hawking) at 7:54 AM on April 1, 2012


Just checking.
posted by gjc (soup to nuts) at 7:57 AM on April 1, 2012


This is pretty awesome.
posted by A dead Quaker (star light star bright) at 8:01 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm a mod, I'm a mod! Do not arouse the wrath of the great and terrible mod!
posted by Elsa (stamp tramp) at 8:03 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


It makes me feel complete when I get "(half)".
posted by trip and a half (stalin) at 8:08 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


fun
posted by braksandwich (stack exchange) at 8:18 AM on April 1, 2012


Staff staff staff staff
posted by The Whelk (raff scaff) at 8:18 AM on April 1, 2012


lol buttz
posted by jivadravya (president taft) at 8:19 AM on April 1, 2012


<3!
posted by syanna (stamp out litter) at 8:21 AM on April 1, 2012


Hurf durf butter staffer made me laugh entirely too hard when I saw it in another thread just now. Definitely my favorite.
posted by des (stifler) at 8:21 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


There are too many comments to read but I want a sticker.
posted by maryr (seven chinese brothers) at 8:25 AM on April 1, 2012


My 15 minutes of fame have arrived!
posted by Quietgal (studmuffin) at 8:25 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh lord, here we go . . .
posted by KingEdRa (standardized test) at 8:29 AM on April 1, 2012


I wanna try, I wanna try...
posted by whatideserve (snodgrass) at 8:32 AM on April 1, 2012


I *do* need a steenkeen' badge.
posted by jaruwaan (graft) at 8:32 AM on April 1, 2012


None of you realize the difficulty of being on the staff! None of you!
posted by Danf (stifler) at 8:34 AM on April 1, 2012


But yer not staff, yer stoooopid.

Stupid monkey.
posted by The Whelk (star light star bright) at 8:36 AM on April 1, 2012


My first official act as staff - give myself the banhammer. Hurts so good.
posted by tristeza (stamen) at 8:37 AM on April 1, 2012


Nice
posted by ninekinds (gaffe) at 8:39 AM on April 1, 2012


Woof!
posted by beagle (calved) at 8:42 AM on April 1, 2012


yesssssssssss
posted by chinston (standardized test) at 8:43 AM on April 1, 2012


I went dancing last night. Depeche Mode dance party down town. Great time.
posted by frecklefaerie (seven chinese brothers) at 8:45 AM on April 1, 2012


Post in place of information merely to discover staff tag...
posted by Exchequer (staffing solutions) at 8:45 AM on April 1, 2012


Stoat.
Some people get Stars in their eyes.
I get Stoat.

Boy this better be random.
posted by SLC Mom (star light star bright) at 8:47 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


> Boy this better be random.
posted by SLC Mom (farts) at 11:47 AM on April 1

There ya go.
posted by languagehat (stent) at 8:47 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Whee!
posted by leotrotsky (stamp out litter) at 8:50 AM on April 1, 2012


Whee, indeed!
posted by InfidelZombie (silver surfer) at 8:53 AM on April 1, 2012


This will be my one moment of April foolery.
posted by Ruki (stack exchange) at 8:53 AM on April 1, 2012


Ha! This is fun. Well done!
posted by apricot (no soap) at 8:53 AM on April 1, 2012


Stapler? Stapler. Stapler? STAPLER!
posted by The White Hat (fapfapfap) at 8:55 AM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]

Mr. Cortex told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Cortex and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler, my special red Swingline stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it...
posted by zarq (starblazers) at 8:54 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


*sets site on fire*
posted by zarq (standup bass) at 8:54 AM on April 1, 2012


buuuuuuuuuuurp
posted by timetoevolve (stabilizer) at 8:56 AM on April 1, 2012


Fun trick!
posted by juliplease (shillelagh) at 8:59 AM on April 1, 2012


Awesome! Looking forward to getting the benefits package info in the mail.
posted by smirkette (shillelagh) at 8:59 AM on April 1, 2012


(also: a couple friends of mine sent out save-the-date postcards to their friends for April Fools, which is epic, but I hope it doesn't backfire on them.)
posted by smirkette (stan the potato man) at 9:00 AM on April 1, 2012


Testing...
posted by jenfullmoon (giraffed) at 9:03 AM on April 1, 2012


I want to see mine.
posted by Anonymous (puff daddy) at 9:08 AM on April 1, 2012


Yay!
posted by ants ('struth) at 9:08 AM on April 1, 2012


Microphone check...
posted by hasna (fapfapfap) at 9:09 AM on April 1, 2012


V. cool. I want a go.
posted by featherboa (starburns) at 9:12 AM on April 1, 2012


needs a spartacus tag
posted by elizardbits (smithers) at 9:14 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is excellent.
Congrats, filthy light thief.
posted by bru (step) at 9:14 AM on April 1, 2012


this pleases me.
posted by ninjew (stanky) at 9:24 AM on April 1, 2012


HURF BLURF I ARE MODENATOR
posted by Inspector.Gadget (stalin) at 9:25 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Can we have stars too?
posted by cmyk (karen carpenter) at 9:26 AM on April 1, 2012


Stars? Some of us get (star wars)
posted by oneswellfoop (standardized test) at 9:28 AM on April 1, 2012


.
posted by The corpse in the library (stan the potato man) at 9:32 AM on April 1, 2012


Tagged!
posted by fiercekitten (stuffing) at 9:37 AM on April 1, 2012


Ummm....ok.
posted by nickthetourist (star light star bright) at 9:37 AM on April 1, 2012


This is significantly less disturbing than the realization via cats that there are significantly more ads on the internet than I had ever imagined.
posted by Nimmie Amee (stet) at 9:38 AM on April 1, 2012


Who am I? Who am I? I'm...
posted by DevilsAdvocate (stockholm syndrome) at 9:39 AM on April 1, 2012


Woo hoo!
posted by Elly Vortex (simple machine) at 9:41 AM on April 1, 2012


This may be my first ever Metatalk post.
posted by saffry (stanley kubrick) at 9:41 AM on April 1, 2012


I disagree
posted by ninjew (standup bass) at 9:44 AM on April 1, 2012


and I do NOT resemble zach braf!
posted by ninjew (taffy) at 9:44 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh god, I hope I get stoooooooooooooned.
posted by Maisie (stavrosthewinderchicken) at 9:48 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm . . .
posted by freshwater (stephen hawking) at 9:52 AM on April 1, 2012


i can't make the cats happen anywhere and i am sad.

SAD AND CATLESS
posted by elizardbits (stand and deliver) at 9:59 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's like Christmas! I hope I get socks!
posted by maudlin (stalwart) at 10:00 AM on April 1, 2012


Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
posted by not_on_display (farts) at 10:01 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is probably too my first metatalk post.
posted by olya (stiffie) at 10:01 AM on April 1, 2012


No socks? *pouts*
posted by maudlin (soup to nuts) at 10:02 AM on April 1, 2012


<== I'm with elizardbits.
posted by maudlin (graph) at 10:03 AM on April 1, 2012


Yoiks! And awa-aaay!!!
posted by not_on_display (stephen hawking) at 10:03 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh. They randomize every time the page is refreshed. Not quite like Christmas, then. At least, not in my house.
posted by maudlin (karen carpenter) at 10:03 AM on April 1, 2012


Curious...
posted by Majorita (chaff) at 10:05 AM on April 1, 2012


I just want to see my tag.
posted by Captain_Science (sylvan learning center) at 10:09 AM on April 1, 2012


I disagree with everybody.
posted by Sys Rq (hurf durf butter staffer) at 10:12 AM on April 1, 2012


This makes me happy.
posted by jason's_planet (hurf durf butter staffer) at 10:14 AM on April 1, 2012


What is this tag you are all speaking of?
posted by marxchivist (stoooooooooooooned) at 10:14 AM on April 1, 2012


Brandy, you're a fine girl . . .
posted by jason's_planet (star trek) at 10:15 AM on April 1, 2012


Who took my frog?
posted by m0nm0n (esteban) at 10:15 AM on April 1, 2012


Brandy, you're . . . sort of OK, I guess
posted by jason's_planet (stabbatical) at 10:16 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Indeed?
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory (stilettos) at 10:17 AM on April 1, 2012


I wonder who I get to be...
posted by langeNU (graph) at 10:19 AM on April 1, 2012


Wheeee!
posted by redsparkler (waft) at 10:20 AM on April 1, 2012


Burhanistan: I win!

Dude, I can go you one better....
posted by tzikeh (taffy) at 10:25 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cool!
posted by chaff (studmuffin) at 10:26 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


O hai!
posted by 4ster (stippled) at 10:26 AM on April 1, 2012


mine had better say GROUPIE...
posted by scody (behalf) at 10:27 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


GODDAMMIT
posted by scody (smithers) at 10:27 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Things that bother you,
never bother me
I feel happy and fine!
AHA!
Living in the sunlight,
loving in the moonlight
Having a wonderful time!
posted by Earl the Polliwog (staring contest) at 10:28 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Who am I anyway?
posted by adamvasco (stars in your eyes) at 10:29 AM on April 1, 2012


could have been pontiac.
posted by adamvasco (gaffe) at 10:30 AM on April 1, 2012


Ooo oooo. CANNAE HAZ??!!
posted by Skygazer (shillelagh) at 10:31 AM on April 1, 2012


STIFF? Well...

I could be if required.
posted by Skygazer (startled moose) at 10:32 AM on April 1, 2012


It changes.
posted by Skygazer (graft) at 10:33 AM on April 1, 2012


So I haven't yet put my contact lenses in, which means small text clarity is... dodgy, at best--

In accordance with the "Note" below the comment box, I offer everyone in this thread a twig. Apparently, you need one.
posted by tzikeh (staring contest) at 10:34 AM on April 1, 2012


Most excellent.
posted by bitter-girl.com (stars in your eyes) at 10:34 AM on April 1, 2012


I have no idea why all these people got staff tags, or why.
posted by Lutoslawski (stebbins) at 10:34 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh! Langenu has my tattoo! (stet) ...no fair!
posted by bitter-girl.com (st00pid) at 10:35 AM on April 1, 2012


mine had better say GROUPIE...
posted by scody (horse ebooks) at 10:27 AM on April 1 [+] [!]


GODDAMMIT
posted by scody (steve-o) at 10:27 AM on April 1 [+] [!]


Hehe.
posted by filthy light thief (star wars) at 10:36 AM on April 1, 2012


!
posted by randomination (stilettos) at 10:36 AM on April 1, 2012


what is this i don't even
posted by heeeraldo (stabilizer) at 10:36 AM on April 1, 2012


Finally! A real job title!
posted by JoanArkham (calved) at 10:37 AM on April 1, 2012


I'm a what now?
posted by gusandrews (giraffed) at 10:38 AM on April 1, 2012


I DON'T GET IT BUT I LIKE IT
posted by threeants (scrappy-doo) at 10:38 AM on April 1, 2012


I sure hope that tag is not prophetic.
posted by threeants (starvin') at 10:39 AM on April 1, 2012


Huh. A thing like that.
posted by .kobayashi. (start) at 10:39 AM on April 1, 2012


I have just discovered they change upon refresh. Quit making me look the fool, MeFi!
posted by threeants (stable boy) at 10:39 AM on April 1, 2012


I imagine that cortex was up late last night fervently scribbling into a notebook labeled "Things That Rhyme With Staff"
posted by burnmp3s (stuffed) at 10:40 AM on April 1, 2012


What the?
posted by gemmy (president taft) at 10:40 AM on April 1, 2012


Does this mean I actually have to be productive here now?
posted by Samizdata (st00pid) at 10:40 AM on April 1, 2012


Oboes
posted by Windopaene (stiffie) at 10:42 AM on April 1, 2012


I don't like my April Fools Mefi joke. Wah.


What's wrong with being mean and cliquey anyhow??
posted by Skygazer (stab) at 10:42 AM on April 1, 2012


Quickly, touch me before it wears off!
posted by Foci for Analysis (stuff) at 10:42 AM on April 1, 2012


Hooray!
posted by ShawnStruck (winner) at 10:43 AM on April 1, 2012


Mod note: I have just discovered they change upon refresh. Quit making me look the fool, MeFi!
posted by threeants (stoopid) at 10:39 AM on April 1

noted for moar posterity.
posted by taz (stats) at 10:43 AM on April 1, 2012


mine had better say GROUPIE...
posted by scody (stella) at 1:27 PM on April 1 [+] [!]


Stella is pretty good though!
posted by Skygazer (star wars) at 10:43 AM on April 1, 2012


Quickly, touch me before it wears off!
posted by Foci for Analysis (fapfapfap) at 1:42 PM on April 1 [+] [!]


Urrr...

ew...
posted by Skygazer (stoopid) at 10:44 AM on April 1, 2012


I am 99 kinds of hung over (but I made it to church this morning). So what does that make me?
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse (ffats) at 10:46 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh hey!
posted by kylej (snodgrass) at 10:46 AM on April 1, 2012


We haven't had many April 1st prank posts around the internet today. Or maybe I've simply been otherwise engaged?
posted by jeffburdges (stavrosthewinderchicken) at 10:46 AM on April 1, 2012


I like that they all seem to have a combination of ST or rhyme with "staff".
posted by oneirodynia (stable boy) at 10:47 AM on April 1, 2012


I just want esteban.
posted by Drumhellz (esteban) at 11:12 PM on March 31 [+] [!]

Your wish is/was granted.
posted by filthy light thief (giraffed) at 10:48 AM on April 1, 2012


Actually, it seems to be any two letter combination from STAFF, now that I see a puffy daddy has weighed in.

If someone posted this revelation already, well, I just woke up.
posted by oneirodynia (steve-o) at 10:50 AM on April 1, 2012


Whoa.
posted by no regrets, coyote (stoooooooooooooned) at 10:51 AM on April 1, 2012


wtf
posted by FrauMaschine (stack o toads) at 10:52 AM on April 1, 2012


Hehehe. Fun.
posted by Garm (gaffe) at 10:53 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh man this thread is so fun.
posted by WidgetAlley (standup bass) at 10:54 AM on April 1, 2012


Yay!
posted by fermezporte (karen carpenter) at 10:55 AM on April 1, 2012


Ahh, I see what you did there
posted by jeffburdges (stooped) at 10:56 AM on April 1, 2012


Awesome
posted by decathecting (stodgy) at 10:56 AM on April 1, 2012


NO U
posted by casarkos (stamen) at 10:58 AM on April 1, 2012


I have nothing to say, but want to see what my random badge will be anyways.
posted by Dr. Eigenvariable (start) at 10:58 AM on April 1, 2012


omgwtfbbq
posted by Nutri-Matic Drinks Synthesizer (stamen) at 10:59 AM on April 1, 2012


That's fantastic.
posted by Dr. Eigenvariable (stentoria) at 10:59 AM on April 1, 2012


.
posted by Gortuk (ffats) at 11:03 AM on April 1, 2012


!!!
posted by avocet (stout) at 11:03 AM on April 1, 2012


I hope these don't have any sort of greater cosmic significance.
posted by eggplantplacebo (stop sign) at 11:07 AM on April 1, 2012


I need to do this.
posted by capnsue (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 11:08 AM on April 1, 2012


Someone stop the madness.
posted by incessant (starvin') at 11:08 AM on April 1, 2012


Although now apparently I'm one bad mother, so -
posted by incessant (graph) at 11:09 AM on April 1, 2012


I want mine!
posted by Edna Million (president taft) at 11:09 AM on April 1, 2012


W00t
posted by special-k (stamp out litter) at 11:10 AM on April 1, 2012


WAT
posted by 1024x768 (stab) at 11:10 AM on April 1, 2012


I feel important, now!
posted by The Great Big Mulp (newborn calf) at 11:11 AM on April 1, 2012


*... wonders if he is stuffed, stasi, or star bright....*
posted by philipy (stodgy) at 11:13 AM on April 1, 2012


It turns out, I'm graph.

But am I also anything else?
posted by philipy (stamp tramp) at 11:13 AM on April 1, 2012


In a very zen like way, whatever I thought I was, that was then, and now I am that no more.
posted by philipy (stacked) at 11:15 AM on April 1, 2012


omg, cooolz!
posted by yodelingisfun (standardized test) at 11:18 AM on April 1, 2012


This is awesome.
posted by ZaphodB (starfish kisses) at 11:19 AM on April 1, 2012


ee!
posted by shinyshiny (taffy) at 11:20 AM on April 1, 2012


yay!
posted by Shit Parade (graph) at 11:24 AM on April 1, 2012


So.
posted by zennie (raff scaff) at 11:28 AM on April 1, 2012


Gimme gimme gimme!
posted by EvaDestruction (staple singers) at 11:28 AM on April 1, 2012


These tags are really distracting.
posted by zennie (steve-o) at 11:29 AM on April 1, 2012


No fair. EvaDestruction gets better tags than me.
posted by zennie (steve-o) at 11:30 AM on April 1, 2012


I must know!
posted by fillsthepews (riffraff) at 11:32 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh yay! I always wanted to be somebody!
posted by dinty_moore (newborn calf) at 11:32 AM on April 1, 2012


what is this i don;t even
posted by EndsOfInvention (taffy) at 11:33 AM on April 1, 2012


tl;dr, give me me title.
posted by mccarty.tim (star wars) at 11:33 AM on April 1, 2012


I am rolling again.
posted by mccarty.tim (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 11:33 AM on April 1, 2012


I'll take it.
posted by mccarty.tim (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 11:34 AM on April 1, 2012


aaaaand?
posted by AJaffe (stamen) at 11:34 AM on April 1, 2012


Can pb code a banhammer so powerful not even he could lift it?
posted by mccarty.tim (stack hat) at 11:35 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'll play along...
posted by Doktor Zed (stats) at 11:35 AM on April 1, 2012


This needs to be site-wide and permanent. I'm hoping for the [winner] tag.
posted by fuq (waft) at 11:36 AM on April 1, 2012


I have little to add.
posted by crush-onastick (seven chinese brothers) at 11:36 AM on April 1, 2012

So.
posted by zennie (stab) at 2:28 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

Gimme gimme gimme!
posted by EvaDestruction (stuff) at 2:28 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

These tags are really distracting.
posted by zennie (stab) at 2:29 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

No fair. EvaDestruction gets better tags than me.
posted by zennie (stefi graf) at 2:30 PM on April 1 [+] [!]
I dunno, from my side it looks like you're coming out ahead so far, zennie.
posted by EvaDestruction (stamos potential) at 11:37 AM on April 1, 2012


Sign me up!
posted by geekyguy (raff scaff) at 11:38 AM on April 1, 2012


Although your "stab" just changed to "farts" and my "stuff" just changed to "winner"... I still think you're doing pretty well, all up.
posted by EvaDestruction (start) at 11:39 AM on April 1, 2012


.
posted by justgary (star wars) at 11:39 AM on April 1, 2012


Awesome.
posted by devinemissk (starvin') at 11:41 AM on April 1, 2012


The
posted by Navelgazer (horse ebooks) at 11:41 AM on April 1, 2012


Jessamyn is my spouse.
posted by urbanwhaleshark (stopped) at 11:43 AM on April 1, 2012


And you are president taft.
posted by jessamyn (steve-o) at 11:43 AM on April 1, 2012


Uh, I think I misunderstood the point of this.
posted by urbanwhaleshark (stax exchange) at 11:44 AM on April 1, 2012

Gimme gimme gimme!
posted by EvaDestruction (newborn calf) at 2:28 PM on April 1 [+] [!]
I submit Item A above into evidence.
posted by zennie (stars in your eyes) at 11:44 AM on April 1, 2012


Fun Fact: I actually use the 'professional white background.' Bet you didn't think the Cube would be so boring! (It's actually just to balance out my crazy bohemian lifestyle.)
posted by Weighted Companion Cube (sweeney toddler) at 11:47 AM on April 1, 2012

posted by oneswellfoop (horse ebooks) at 6:33 AM on April 1 [+] [!]
Clear winner.
posted by xqwzts (stiff) at 11:48 AM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I submit Item A above into evidence.
posted by zennie (mr. belvedere) at 2:44 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

I submit you're just getting better tags for everybody than I am. I hadn't even seen "newborn calf" before.
posted by EvaDestruction (stfu) at 11:50 AM on April 1, 2012


Oh my giddy aunt!
posted by bentley (smithers release the hounds) at 11:51 AM on April 1, 2012


I want to be pancake captain.
posted by Tesseractive (fapfapfap) at 11:52 AM on April 1, 2012


> I, too, inexplicably desire to see my username next to a random word in a bright yellow box [colored according to my chosen theme]. Thanks in advance! (I think)

FTFY. Amen.
posted by tarheelcoxn (sweeney toddler) at 11:55 AM on April 1, 2012


.!
posted by panda (stefi graf) at 11:56 AM on April 1, 2012


furtwangler!
posted by lalochezia (staph) at 12:00 PM on April 1, 2012


/.
posted by LSK (half) at 12:00 PM on April 1, 2012


Must have all year round
posted by jokeefe (stfu) at 12:00 PM on April 1, 2012


Please and thank you.
posted by brookedel (no soap) at 12:02 PM on April 1, 2012


Curious.
posted by Amplify (stapler) at 12:02 PM on April 1, 2012


Can pb code a banhammer so powerful not even he could lift it?
posted by mccarty.tim (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 11:35 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

How many times would stavros have to post before he got his own tag?
posted by jokeefe (stop sign) at 12:02 PM on April 1, 2012


what did I get?
posted by ClanvidHorse (graft) at 12:04 PM on April 1, 2012


I'll April you, fools.
posted by mostlymartha (stabbatical) at 12:09 PM on April 1, 2012


This comment is going to seem pretty stupid come April 2.
It don't seem too witty right now, neither.
posted by deliquescent (stack exchange) at 12:10 PM on April 1, 2012


with the season premiere of Game of Thrones within hours, I am still quite disappointed that there is no (ned stark) tag... or would it require cutting off the user's SPOILER
posted by oneswellfoop (president taft) at 12:10 PM on April 1, 2012


Lulu's Pink Converse: "I am 99 kinds of hung over (but I made it to church this morning). So what does that make me?"

puff daddy.
posted by wierdo (stamps.com) at 12:12 PM on April 1, 2012


Oh, hell yes!
posted by pupperduck (esteban) at 12:15 PM on April 1, 2012


What is here ongoing?
posted by steef (stopped) at 12:21 PM on April 1, 2012


Happy April 1st, MeF!
posted by theora55 (simple machine) at 12:27 PM on April 1, 2012


woot.
posted by Tennyson D'San (startled moose) at 12:28 PM on April 1, 2012


Telephone.
posted by Fister Roboto (stebbins) at 12:29 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Can I go again?
posted by davemee (star light star bright) at 12:30 PM on April 1, 2012


Get's repetitive and predictable.


3 out of 5 stars.
posted by Skygazer (staffing solutions) at 12:32 PM on April 1, 2012


Ponies for everyone!
posted by deborah (stefi graf) at 12:32 PM on April 1, 2012


Too much "fapfapfap."
posted by Skygazer (starvin') at 12:33 PM on April 1, 2012


I submit you're just getting better tags for everybody than I am. I hadn't even seen "newborn calf" before.
posted by EvaDestruction (spouse) at 2:50 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

*pout*
posted by zennie (karen carpenter) at 12:33 PM on April 1, 2012


I must take a screen shot.
posted by lizjohn (starship trooper) at 12:33 PM on April 1, 2012


Like IRL.
posted by Skygazer (stephen hawking) at 12:33 PM on April 1, 2012


why so many S's?
posted by shothotbot (st00pid) at 12:34 PM on April 1, 2012


Look, no hands!
posted by Skygazer (naff) at 12:34 PM on April 1, 2012


*Moons Metafilter*
posted by Skygazer (staph) at 12:35 PM on April 1, 2012


Ooh, ooh, do me next!
posted by benito.strauss (stable boy) at 12:35 PM on April 1, 2012


nice
posted by patheral (stable boy) at 12:35 PM on April 1, 2012


nice
posted by patheral (silver surfer) at 2:35 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

Yay! silver surfer!
posted by patheral (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 12:35 PM on April 1, 2012


half? half?
posted by benito.strauss (stuff) at 12:36 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm joining in.
posted by Salmonberry (staple singers) at 12:38 PM on April 1, 2012


That's true. I am starvin'. Gonna go eat a scone now.
posted by Salmonberry (stupid) at 12:38 PM on April 1, 2012


.
posted by axiom (stockholm syndrome) at 12:41 PM on April 1, 2012


I ate a bee.
posted by hot soup girl (starblazers) at 12:45 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I too would like to participate.
posted by sweetkid (cory doctorow) at 12:48 PM on April 1, 2012


what
posted by The Biggest Dreamer (steppenwolf) at 12:48 PM on April 1, 2012


So...am I cool now?
posted by Mr. Bad Example (stiff) at 12:49 PM on April 1, 2012


noooo
posted by The Biggest Dreamer (stabilizer) at 12:49 PM on April 1, 2012


So, do we have to post to find out what our staff tag is?
posted by daniel striped tiger (stand and deliver) at 12:51 PM on April 1, 2012


Whee! Hugs for everyone.
posted by coppermoss (stebbins) at 12:51 PM on April 1, 2012


The upside to pessimism is that there's always room for pleasant surprises.
posted by pwnguin (starter) at 12:52 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


daniel striped tiger: "So, do we have to post to find out what our staff tag is"

They appear to be random per comment, not per person.
posted by pwnguin (chaff) at 12:53 PM on April 1, 2012


Happy April, fools!
posted by zoetrope (stuffed) at 12:54 PM on April 1, 2012


Oooh, Staff-Tag Roulette makes April Fool's so exciting!
posted by Devika (start) at 1:01 PM on April 1, 2012


Man I got chaff?? I am wheat for sure, fuck this noise.
posted by Devika (stasi) at 1:01 PM on April 1, 2012


What what ... I swear it was chaff a moment ago .. *blinks*
posted by Devika (starship trooper) at 1:02 PM on April 1, 2012


*hoping for starburns*
posted by torisaur (gaffe) at 1:02 PM on April 1, 2012


Meeee
posted by Grlnxtdr (sartori) at 1:03 PM on April 1, 2012


Oh, man - look what happens when I try to stay off the internet and get something accomplished!
posted by Space Kitty (st00pid) at 1:05 PM on April 1, 2012


Yea!
posted by amelliferae (stamps.com) at 1:14 PM on April 1, 2012


Woohoo!
posted by IndigoRain (stabilizer) at 1:21 PM on April 1, 2012


Me too!
posted by cholly (staring contest) at 1:25 PM on April 1, 2012


Oh, man. This is worth getting off my ass for.
posted by procrastination (step) at 1:26 PM on April 1, 2012


Woot.
posted by zoo (start) at 1:30 PM on April 1, 2012


Oh me me!
posted by greta simone (stanley kubrick) at 1:31 PM on April 1, 2012


Woooooo.
posted by defenestration (stack hat) at 1:33 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


cool.
posted by mokin (cory doctorow) at 1:36 PM on April 1, 2012


Finally, the recognition I deserve.
posted by 1000monkeys (newborn calf) at 1:37 PM on April 1, 2012


What's mine then?
posted by rubbish bin night (stars in your eyes) at 1:40 PM on April 1, 2012


Golly!
posted by atomicmedia (smithers) at 1:42 PM on April 1, 2012


Oooh!
posted by MsLgean (simple machine) at 1:44 PM on April 1, 2012


whatamiwhatami?!
posted by ocherdraco (stooped) at 1:44 PM on April 1, 2012


Silver Surfer. Nice as a comic fan I approve.
posted by MsLgean (stiff) at 1:45 PM on April 1, 2012


For the moment, apparently, I am stanley kubrick. (Yesssss.)
posted by ocherdraco (stamp out litter) at 1:45 PM on April 1, 2012


Dang! It changed!
posted by MsLgean (standup comedian) at 1:45 PM on April 1, 2012


zach braff is misspelled. This pains me and it pains me that it pains me.
posted by sweetkid (calved) at 1:47 PM on April 1, 2012


Fool me! OH YES FOOL ME UP GOOD
posted by chinesefood (hairway to steven) at 1:48 PM on April 1, 2012


Um, so they change if you refresh the page or whatever. Just sayin'.
posted by Sys Rq (stippled) at 1:49 PM on April 1, 2012


It works for everyone?
posted by houlihan (fapfapfap) at 1:52 PM on April 1, 2012


i need to know what i am, please define me metafilter...
posted by ifjuly (starfish kisses) at 1:52 PM on April 1, 2012


Huzzah!
posted by houlihan (staphylococcus) at 1:52 PM on April 1, 2012


It's an electrified foolin machine!
posted by The Whelk (calved) at 1:53 PM on April 1, 2012


So cool!
So where from do the words get chosen? The entire site? (Doesn't seem to be, otherwise there would be fewer repetitions and more words like "the".) How does this work?
posted by Omnomnom ( radio) at 1:53 PM on April 1, 2012


Tag me like one of your French girls...
posted by panboi ( radio) at 1:54 PM on April 1, 2012


Aw, I was a "newborn calf"!
posted by Omnomnom (stafu) at 1:54 PM on April 1, 2012


Sweet.
posted by eendje (mood) at 2:01 PM on April 1, 2012


Hope it's an old school solution like pulling titles from random.txt.
posted by fluffy battle kitten (pfaff) at 2:01 PM on April 1, 2012


I've always wanted to be in charge.
posted by BlahLaLa (step) at 2:01 PM on April 1, 2012


Hooray!
posted by ShawnStruck (stuffing) at 10:43 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

[noted for moar posterity. ]
posted by taz (stuffed) at 10:43 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

Well, if we're going to keep these things around for posterity...
posted by P.o.B. (pfaff) at 2:03 PM on April 1, 2012


Things like this are why I love Metafilter. <3
posted by lysimache (sterling) at 2:03 PM on April 1, 2012


Staff tag is:
posted by kate blank (pfaff) at 2:05 PM on April 1, 2012


Curiosity wins out.
posted by starvingartist (SHAFT) at 2:06 PM on April 1, 2012


Loves it.
posted by futureisunwritten (staple singers) at 2:07 PM on April 1, 2012


...and what powers does this give me?

(I would very much like to render as stapler, for that would have some obvious purpose.)
posted by beryllium (gaffe) at 2:07 PM on April 1, 2012


This is a stupid idea and I do not wish to participate.
posted by The Deej (stupid) at 6:34 AM on April 1 [1 favorite +] [!]

Ha!
posted by The Deej (stebbins) at 2:10 PM on April 1, 2012


I have to know...
posted by Mister Moofoo (stamp tramp) at 2:11 PM on April 1, 2012


tag check
posted by vagabond (calved) at 2:12 PM on April 1, 2012


You know when you've been giraffed...
posted by panboi (giraffed) at 2:15 PM on April 1, 2012


What did I get?
posted by agress (starship trooper) at 2:17 PM on April 1, 2012


Hello.
posted by Memo (stan the potato man) at 2:19 PM on April 1, 2012


Bandwagon! Whee!
posted by caphector (starship trooper) at 2:21 PM on April 1, 2012


Yay!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero (steppenwolf) at 2:22 PM on April 1, 2012


Uh, what?
posted by mr_crash_davis (starblazers) at 2:24 PM on April 1, 2012


Aw, *I* wanted to be esteban!
posted by mreleganza (stoooooooooooooned) at 2:25 PM on April 1, 2012


Must post to see name....
posted by tryniti (seven chinese brothers) at 2:25 PM on April 1, 2012


Que?
posted by veryape (sterling) at 2:33 PM on April 1, 2012


NEAT.
posted by sklero (stack exchange) at 2:33 PM on April 1, 2012


Is it the same every time?
posted by sklero (stagger lee) at 2:33 PM on April 1, 2012


for me?
posted by Orinda (chaff) at 2:37 PM on April 1, 2012


My moment of triumph!
posted by xiw (stent) at 2:39 PM on April 1, 2012


finally, my contributions around here are recognized.
posted by xbonesgt (smithers) at 2:40 PM on April 1, 2012


finally, my contributions around here are recognized.
posted by xbonesgt (stable boy) at 5:40 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

:(
posted by xbonesgt (calved) at 2:41 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Why am I sober?
posted by cjorgensen ('struth) at 2:41 PM on April 1, 2012


Why am I sober?
posted by cjorgensen (stout)

hehehehe
posted by The Whelk (stifler) at 2:43 PM on April 1, 2012


Testes, testes, 1, 2... 3?
posted by otterpop (stab) at 2:45 PM on April 1, 2012


Metafilter: Easily amused.
posted by Skygazer (stab) at 2:45 PM on April 1, 2012


April is the cruelest month..
posted by Skygazer (stan the potato man) at 2:46 PM on April 1, 2012


Still April First here - wonder what I'll be
posted by motdiem2 (stiff) at 2:49 PM on April 1, 2012


rolling dem bones
posted by anewnadir (stupid) at 2:51 PM on April 1, 2012


Today's secret word is ↓
posted by milquetoast (behalf) at 2:54 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm with -------------------------------
|
\/

posted by jeremias (starvin') at 2:55 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm with a mod ↑.
posted by adamrice (stella) at 2:56 PM on April 1, 2012


Is it time for Mod Men?
posted by oneswellfoop (snodgrass) at 2:57 PM on April 1, 2012


These are pretty good.
posted by Loto (soup to nuts) at 2:59 PM on April 1, 2012


MOD MEN
posted by The Whelk (start) at 3:00 PM on April 1, 2012 [2 favorites]


WHOA
posted by clockworkjoe (puff daddy) at 3:02 PM on April 1, 2012


Ich bin ein wurst.
posted by Bonky Moon (stilettos) at 3:04 PM on April 1, 2012


toasting an epic bread
posted by Auguris (graft) at 3:05 PM on April 1, 2012


Did I miss it? I kept waiting for the screen to change colors.
posted by Sweetie Darling (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 3:07 PM on April 1, 2012


:::fingers crossed for something good::::
posted by NoraCharles (stabbatical) at 3:16 PM on April 1, 2012


????? I am confused
posted by Ayn Rand and God (stack exchange) at 3:16 PM on April 1, 2012


Am I ready, can I handle the responsibility of this new title?
posted by Heart_on_Sleeve (st00pid) at 3:32 PM on April 1, 2012


I'd like to thank my cat.
posted by swift (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 3:38 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I want to see.
posted by Anxietygirl (stairway to heaven) at 3:40 PM on April 1, 2012


Outstanding. Thanks!
posted by angrynerd (stamp out litter) at 3:47 PM on April 1, 2012


lol, awesome
posted by Xany (calved) at 3:54 PM on April 1, 2012


Mine is the bestest.
posted by Mittenz (soup to nuts) at 3:55 PM on April 1, 2012


New title? Do we get wafers with it?
posted by bakerina (stet) at 3:59 PM on April 1, 2012


posted by bakerina (gaffe) at 3:59 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

Oh, pardon me. How embarrassing.
posted by bakerina (st00pid) at 4:00 PM on April 1, 2012


No way I'm missing out on this.
posted by Schismatic (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 4:03 PM on April 1, 2012


yay
posted by markr (silver surfer) at 4:11 PM on April 1, 2012


aw, markr said what I was going to say.
posted by Chris4d (karen carpenter) at 4:20 PM on April 1, 2012


Omnomnom: pretty sure the mods just riffed on "staff" and came up with a grab bag of funny things based on site history and, you know, human culture stuff. The 'filthy light thief' thing is pretty danged funny, though.
posted by trip and a half (stacked) at 4:20 PM on April 1, 2012


I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it! Let's do it!
posted by Hey Dean Yeager! (naff) at 4:28 PM on April 1, 2012


This is a stupid idea and I do not wish to participate.
posted by The Deej (stupid) at 6:34 AM on April 1 [1 favourite +] [!]
Ha!
posted by The Deej (winner)
Double ha!
posted by dg (staves) at 4:29 PM on April 1, 2012


I want one!
posted by TedW (calved) at 4:30 PM on April 1, 2012


Hooray!
posted by TedW (sterling) at 4:30 PM on April 1, 2012


oh hey
posted by book 'em dano (stamps.com) at 4:32 PM on April 1, 2012


check, check, 123, is this thing on?
posted by thewalrus (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 4:32 PM on April 1, 2012


I suspect that 'filthy light thief' (who I have met and is not filthy but is rather light) was the first person to notice that the tagging had been implemented AND that nobody official had made a post to announce it, so he decided to make himself into somebody official to make a post to announce (hey, I'd've done the same thing). Still, it confirms something I have suspected since his 14th megapost on the blue... he spends WAY too much time here. As I do, and so do many of you reading this.

Also, (spends WAY too much time here) should've been one of the tags.
posted by oneswellfoop (gaffe) at 4:34 PM on April 1, 2012


Well that's a mouthful.
posted by book 'em dano (stadia) at 4:35 PM on April 1, 2012


throwaway comment as suggested by cortex in that other thread
posted by newpotato (snuffleuppagus) at 4:38 PM on April 1, 2012


Heh.
posted by embrangled (hairway to steven) at 4:39 PM on April 1, 2012


I cannot rationally explain why I find this so hilarious.
posted by clavier (sunday sunday SUNDAY) at 4:39 PM on April 1, 2012


Metafilter: The only site on the internet that does April Fool's well.
posted by booknerd (starship trooper) at 4:39 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


also, is this going to last forever, or are our tags going to magically disappear at midnight?
posted by newpotato (stefi graf) at 4:40 PM on April 1, 2012


This is all temporary anyway, but on MeTa it totally broke the Mefi Navigation greasemonkey script. Anytime I click to see someone's next or previous link it goes to the FAQ page.

I hope I get "gripe" as my tag on this one
posted by chimaera (shillelagh) at 4:40 PM on April 1, 2012


and so do many of you reading this

I can quit anytime I want, just choose not to.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (graph) at 4:41 PM on April 1, 2012


מה נשתנה, הלילה הזה
?מכל הלילות
posted by not_on_display (stefi graf) at 4:42 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


is this going to last forever, or are our tags going to magically disappear at midnight?

This is all temporary anyway,

While the rest of MeTa will soon return to normal, why does THIS thread have to? It could become a semi-permanent (what is REALLY permanent on the Web, anyway?) shrine to the awesomeness that is having April Fools Day fall on a Sunday...
posted by oneswellfoop (chaff) at 4:46 PM on April 1, 2012


I just got here
posted by clockzero (stapler) at 4:48 PM on April 1, 2012


Ha, perfect
posted by clockzero (stanley kubrick) at 4:48 PM on April 1, 2012


This is delightfully amusing.
posted by rmd1023 (stephen hawking) at 4:50 PM on April 1, 2012


Is it too late?
posted by in the methow (starship trooper) at 4:52 PM on April 1, 2012


Show me "stentorian"
posted by sciatica (stilettos) at 4:59 PM on April 1, 2012


dang, I didn't see this till April 1st is mostly over!
posted by easily confused (smithers) at 5:09 PM on April 1, 2012


CooltagCooltagNowhammiesNowhammiesSTOP
posted by the other side (stable boy) at 5:11 PM on April 1, 2012


stable boy??? stable BOY?!? hrumph.
posted by easily confused (staring contest) at 5:11 PM on April 1, 2012


come on, taters
posted by joshuaconner (gaffe) at 5:12 PM on April 1, 2012


Rabbit rabbit?
posted by zerbinetta (mr. belvedere) at 5:12 PM on April 1, 2012


my turn!
posted by Bohemia Mountain (graph) at 5:14 PM on April 1, 2012


My throwaway comment. Per cortex.
posted by Glinn (newborn calf) at 5:14 PM on April 1, 2012


Awesome.
posted by guster4lovers (stent) at 5:16 PM on April 1, 2012


oh, good
posted by readery (stasi) at 5:16 PM on April 1, 2012


Oooooo, what am I?
posted by limeonaire (stable boy) at 5:21 PM on April 1, 2012


Heh. I'm a simple machine. Or am I?
posted by limeonaire (chaff) at 5:22 PM on April 1, 2012


Hooray For Everything!
posted by blaneyphoto (sylvan learning center) at 5:22 PM on April 1, 2012


Ooo, now I'm a stab. Sorry.
posted by limeonaire (stanky) at 5:22 PM on April 1, 2012


how did this come to be?
posted by batmonkey (stentoria) at 5:23 PM on April 1, 2012


Who's the April Fool now?
posted by ThatCanadianGirl (simple machine) at 5:23 PM on April 1, 2012


happy sigh
posted by Mouse Army (winner) at 5:24 PM on April 1, 2012


No fun when April 1 is on Sunday.
posted by Pax (starter) at 5:27 PM on April 1, 2012


Hey, anybody notice that it's April Fool's Day?
posted by Chanther (snodgrass) at 5:28 PM on April 1, 2012


Who are I? Who Who? WHo WHo?
posted by holdkris99 (stabilizer) at 5:30 PM on April 1, 2012


All I want to know is:

a) What is my staff tag?
b) Will these appear in these threads tomorrow?
c) Does this appear in old threads?

I can only answer the first one by posting, the second one by waiting, and the third one by going to another thread I posted in (which can't happen till after I post.) So.
posted by SMPA (stagger lee) at 5:30 PM on April 1, 2012


Holding out for something like "floor wax and dessert topping"...

Hitting post... and...
posted by pianoblack (staffing solutions) at 5:31 PM on April 1, 2012


I love it when I can answer all my questions with thirty seconds of effort. Now to keep on refreshing till I get "winner" back as my tag.
posted by SMPA (staffing solutions) at 5:32 PM on April 1, 2012


Um, er. this doesn't mean I'm actually going to have to, you know, DO anything? 'cause that would probably be bad.
posted by jlkr (staves) at 5:37 PM on April 1, 2012


Not too late?
posted by Flitcraft (stapler) at 5:39 PM on April 1, 2012


Yay!
posted by ainsley (stasi) at 5:48 PM on April 1, 2012


Doing this thing.
posted by tumid dahlia (stanky) at 5:52 PM on April 1, 2012


*fistpump*
posted by tumid dahlia (star light star bright) at 5:52 PM on April 1, 2012


oooh! this is so cool.
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! (stiff) at 6:01 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm disgusted by this whole spectacle.
posted by Red Loop (stent) at 6:01 PM on April 1, 2012


baaaaaaddddaaaaassssss.....
posted by porn in the woods (stoopid) at 6:01 PM on April 1, 2012


woo!
posted by Vectorcon Systems (stacked) at 6:02 PM on April 1, 2012


Tagcheck!
posted by painquale (staffing solutions) at 6:02 PM on April 1, 2012


CooltagCooltagNowhammiesNowhammiesSTOP
posted by the other side (fapfapfap) at 7:11 PM on April 1 [+] [!]


^^^ that was funny.
posted by patheral (raff scaff) at 6:09 PM on April 1, 2012


CooltagCooltagNowhammiesNowhammiesSTOP
posted by the other side (fapfapfap) at 7:11 PM on April 1 [+] [!]


^^^ that was funny.
posted by patheral (stoned) at 8:09 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

Double funny.
posted by patheral (stephen hawking) at 6:10 PM on April 1, 2012


Hey everyone, I just got back from St. Louis. What'd I miss?
posted by 40 Watt (stasi) at 6:10 PM on April 1, 2012


Pony Request: Why didn't you give everyone my little ponytars for april foals?
posted by mccarty.tim (stout) at 6:14 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Purple monkey dishwasher give me a tag
posted by mccarty.tim (stoat) at 6:17 PM on April 1, 2012


I <3 mefi
posted by beandip (stacked) at 6:19 PM on April 1, 2012


ok
posted by AZNsupermarket (stiff) at 6:19 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


git 'er done
posted by Arch_Stanton (graft) at 6:22 PM on April 1, 2012


Oh, I almost missed it!
posted by peep (stadia) at 6:24 PM on April 1, 2012


Oh, cool! I just notice that they change every time you go out and come back again.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl (starship trooper) at 6:25 PM on April 1, 2012


moo
posted by strixus (gaffe) at 6:27 PM on April 1, 2012


How many times do I have to reload to get the SHAFT tag?
posted by googly (starter) at 6:32 PM on April 1, 2012


Somebody poke me in my appendicitis detection spot.
posted by Sallyfur (stooped) at 6:36 PM on April 1, 2012


Time to close this thread.
posted by sciurus (graph) at 6:38 PM on April 1, 2012


Late to the party, as always.
posted by gamera ( radio) at 6:40 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite MeTa on the Citadel.
posted by Verdandi (stout) at 6:43 PM on April 1, 2012


I wonder what my tag is.
posted by mrzarquon (starburns) at 6:44 PM on April 1, 2012


I want chocolate cake.
posted by needled (staves) at 6:53 PM on April 1, 2012


Not midnight yet.
posted by Cuke (stacked) at 6:55 PM on April 1, 2012


Neato!
posted by Renoroc (stuff) at 6:56 PM on April 1, 2012


Fucking ticks. Now I itch EVERYWHERE. Bluh.
posted by mountain_william (behalf) at 7:01 PM on April 1, 2012


Remember, with great power comes great irresponsibility.
posted by Dr. Zira (stalin) at 12:30 AM on April 1 [+] [!]

heh.
posted by zenon (st00pid) at 7:01 PM on April 1, 2012


Awesome.
posted by KB.Boston_implant.By way of NY (stacked) at 7:01 PM on April 1, 2012


I want chocolate cake.
posted by needled (stuffing) at 6:53 PM on April 1 [+] [!] No other comments.

Perfect. I also want chocolate cake.
posted by rtha (stoopid) at 7:05 PM on April 1, 2012


i was asking myself - should I check metatalk for hints on the april fool's joke, because I couldn't find anything on the blue. i'm glad I came by here!
posted by bitteroldman (silver surfer) at 7:08 PM on April 1, 2012


it is tag-check
posted by speedo (step) at 7:09 PM on April 1, 2012


I tried resisting the lure of a free mod tag all day, but I am so weak...
posted by girl scientist (stack hat) at 7:13 PM on April 1, 2012


me too!
posted by FatRabbit (step) at 7:14 PM on April 1, 2012


Whew. I made it before the end of the day!
posted by schnee (stab) at 7:16 PM on April 1, 2012


Are these tags going to disappear at server midnight? Because...wow, won't this thread be surreal then.
posted by zarq (steppenwolf) at 7:19 PM on April 1, 2012


Wat
posted by malapropist (snuffleuppagus) at 7:21 PM on April 1, 2012


My God, it's full of st...aff tags
posted by angiep (stamps.com) at 7:23 PM on April 1, 2012


Are these tags going to disappear at server midnight?

I think the plan is to leave this thread as is but axe them from the other threads? Not entirely certain.
posted by jessamyn (stentoria) at 7:25 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cool!
posted by carmicha (stef) at 7:26 PM on April 1, 2012


My pony approves!
posted by troll on a pony (studebaker) at 7:26 PM on April 1, 2012


jessamyn: " I think the plan is to leave this thread as is but axe them from the other threads? Not entirely certain."

Yay! Hope that happens. :)
posted by zarq (graph) at 7:26 PM on April 1, 2012


tag - you're it!
posted by tim_in_oz (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 7:27 PM on April 1, 2012


Ooooh, now I'm Stefi Graf? My husband will be thrilled!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl (staph) at 7:27 PM on April 1, 2012


posted by jessamyn (sartori) at 10:25 PM on April 1 [+] [!] [quote]

Hey, your tags don't say "staff" in this thread. You're off the clock! :D
posted by zarq (stoned) at 7:28 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm curious what mine is gonna be :)
posted by marcusesses (newborn calf) at 7:30 PM on April 1, 2012


So who else has gone back to all their previous MetaTalk comments in old threads to see their new tags? I am going to make a poem out of mine. Eventually.
posted by andraste (star wars) at 7:31 PM on April 1, 2012


ORANGE SODA
ORANGE POP
WEED ON MY BLOCK
DOESN'T STOP




BURMA SHAVE
posted by Minus215Cee (stamps.com) at 7:39 PM on April 1, 2012


posted by Minus215Cee (stab) at 22:39 on April 1 [+] [!]
How'd you know? So appropriate.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to apologize for my last FPP. It was meant to be funny. Sorry.
posted by Minus215Cee (stasi) at 7:44 PM on April 1, 2012


Ooooh, now I'm Stefi Graf? My husband will be thrilled!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl (stanley kubrick) at 7:27 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

Your husband will be surprised.
posted by oneswellfoop (stiff) at 7:44 PM on April 1, 2012 [2 favorites]


I
posted by firstdrop (stuffing) at 7:48 PM on April 1, 2012


feel
posted by firstdrop (smithers release the hounds) at 7:49 PM on April 1, 2012


better
posted by firstdrop (karen carpenter) at 7:49 PM on April 1, 2012


pretty?
posted by zarq (soup to nuts) at 7:49 PM on April 1, 2012


So who else has gone back to all their previous MetaTalk comments in old threads to see their new tags? I am going to make a poem out of mine. Eventually.
posted by andraste (stamps.com) at 7:31 PM on April 1 [+] [!] No other comments.

Ooh, brilliant.
posted by rtha (stilettos) at 7:50 PM on April 1, 2012


stellar stella.
posted by firstdrop (stooped) at 7:51 PM on April 1, 2012


Ooh, you're the best!
posted by flibbertigibbet (stand and deliver) at 7:53 PM on April 1, 2012


Whatever's generating them must be doing it when the page is actually produced in your browser, they all change if you reload the page. Which is going to make for a lot of wack comments about what titles people "got" at the end of the day. Also I'm presuming after the day's out they will all disappear.
posted by nanojath (stafu) at 7:55 PM on April 1, 2012


I would like speak with you about a little ol' website that goes by the name of The Filter.
posted by nenequesadilla (starship trooper) at 7:57 PM on April 1, 2012


"Bart, you've graffito-tagged public property!" That's the best Simpsons reference I could come up. What tag will I get?
posted by sillygwailo (stifler) at 8:12 PM on April 1, 2012


lulz
posted by stagewhisper (zach braf) at 8:13 PM on April 1, 2012


Not too late to be easily amused?
posted by asperity (stephen hawking) at 8:27 PM on April 1, 2012


"Bart, you've graffito-tagged public property!" That's the best Simpsons reference I could come up. What tag will I get?
posted by sillygwailo (simple machine) at 8:12 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

lulz
posted by stagewhisper (smithers release the hounds) at 8:13 PM on April 1 [+] [!]

missed it by THAT MUCH... (Get Smart reference)
posted by oneswellfoop (stella) at 8:30 PM on April 1, 2012


Under the wire
posted by waraw (pfaff) at 8:30 PM on April 1, 2012


winner is me?
posted by emeiji (stalwart) at 8:37 PM on April 1, 2012


dangit.
posted by emeiji (stiffie) at 8:37 PM on April 1, 2012


(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
posted by eddydamascene (sterling) at 8:38 PM on April 1, 2012


It's not too late is it?
posted by Pyry (sterling) at 8:40 PM on April 1, 2012


Are you out of words?
posted by raisingsand (stiffie) at 8:46 PM on April 1, 2012


This is the only April Fools "thing" that I have liked on the internets today.
posted by desuetude (stack hat) at 8:46 PM on April 1, 2012


in before the lock
posted by Cosmic (scrappy-doo) at 8:46 PM on April 1, 2012


Make it so.
posted by eunoia (stout) at 8:50 PM on April 1, 2012


Wait, what?
posted by elsietheeel (newborn calf) at 8:51 PM on April 1, 2012


Not too late??
posted by of strange foe (stiffie) at 8:53 PM on April 1, 2012


Will all this April folly never end?
posted by Skygazer (startled moose) at 8:55 PM on April 1, 2012


...and with the playing of somebody else's familiar theme, it is time once again to bid a fond farewell and 'don't let the screen door hit your ass on your way out' to another April Foolishness Day here at the USS MetaFilter "FPP-1701", and invite everyone to meet your intrepid crew and their intrepid crew cuts on the Lido Shuffle deck for a few games of late-night shuffleboard and pina coladas watered down by the rain. This is your underpaid Masturbator of Ceremonies, MC Donalds, reminding you to tip your server over to find the hidden code number you can use to open a high-interest credit card account and if you haven't tried the veal, it'll get off on a technicality. And here's hoping you get off on whatever technicality gets you off, so if the Good Lord's willing and exists in your theology and the creek don't rise more than the souffle, I hope you'll join me later, because I usually fall to bite-sized pieces by the end of the week, and I will be here all week, and even weaker on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And I leave you with the words of Abraham Lincoln at Ford's Theater: "YEOUCH!!!"
posted by oneswellfoop (stack hat) at 8:58 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ever ever ever....
posted by Skygazer (stars in your eyes) at 8:58 PM on April 1, 2012


Sic Semper Tyran
posted by Skygazer (spouse) at 8:59 PM on April 1, 2012


..us
posted by Skygazer (step) at 8:59 PM on April 1, 2012


As if...
posted by spacelux (stebbins) at 9:00 PM on April 1, 2012


Fun!
posted by Doleful Creature (waft) at 9:01 PM on April 1, 2012


<>·>··<> Lizards Everywhere!!
posted by empatterson (naff) at 9:07 PM on April 1, 2012


Metatalk. Tis a silly place.
posted by Green With You (stuff) at 9:11 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


(and the tags have been turned off everywhere but here... there is nowhere else to go)
posted by oneswellfoop (taffy) at 9:12 PM on April 1, 2012


<>->--<---

How odd. It looked fine in preview...</
posted by empatterson (stfu) at 9:12 PM on April 1, 2012


I need to know what mine is.
posted by lizarrd (stagger lee) at 9:15 PM on April 1, 2012


oh, bollocks! I'm taking my lizard and going home.
posted by empatterson (stamps.com) at 9:17 PM on April 1, 2012


:P
posted by Betafae (stack hat) at 9:20 PM on April 1, 2012


:3
posted by rhythm and booze (stopped) at 9:23 PM on April 1, 2012


woot woot!
posted by prototype_octavius (stuff) at 9:25 PM on April 1, 2012


And my lucky tag is...
posted by mazola (graft) at 9:27 PM on April 1, 2012


...'st00pid'?




SON OF A WHORE!
posted by mazola (steppenwolf) at 9:28 PM on April 1, 2012


RIFFRAFF
posted by The Whelk (stent) at 9:29 PM on April 1, 2012


Actually this may be the best Metafilter April Fool's gag ever: when they turn these "mod" labels off and they all disappear these discussions left over are going to look absolutely insane with everything they were referencing gone.
posted by nanojath (naff) at 9:29 PM on April 1, 2012


I have just spent a frustrating two hours trying to file my taxes (and failing due to a SOFTWARE ERROR, thank you TurboTax) so now I just want to see what my label is because I'd really like to redeem this evening.
posted by librarylis (sweeney toddler) at 9:35 PM on April 1, 2012


I have just spent a frustrating two hours trying to file my taxes (and failing due to a SOFTWARE ERROR, thank you TurboTax) so now I just want to see what my label is because I'd really like to redeem this evening.
posted by librarylis (smithers) at 12:35 AM on April 2 [+] [!]

Mission accomplished.
posted by Skygazer (stuffing) at 9:40 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


And my lucky tag is...
posted by mazola (stand and deliver) at 9:27 PM on April 1 [+] [!] Other [1/2]: ·≡»

Is that better?

I have just spent a frustrating two hours trying to file my taxes (and failing due to a SOFTWARE ERROR, thank you TurboTax) so now I just want to see what my label is because I'd really like to redeem this evening.
posted by librarylis (stack exchange) at 9:35 PM on April 1 [+] [!] No other comments.

Beautiful.
posted by rtha (stop sign) at 9:40 PM on April 1, 2012


WIFFWAFF.
posted by Skygazer (step) at 9:41 PM on April 1, 2012


Is this something I'd need to be a mod to understand?
posted by jmd82 (fapfapfap) at 9:42 PM on April 1, 2012


Is this something I'd need to be a mod to understand?
posted by jmd82 (stfu) at 12:42 AM on April 2 [+] [!]

You made it mad.
posted by Skygazer (zach braf) at 9:43 PM on April 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm late
posted by Superfrankenstein (stalin) at 9:44 PM on April 1, 2012


April folly brings May holly.
posted by Skygazer (newborn calf) at 9:45 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm late
posted by Superfrankenstein (studmuffin)
posted by The Whelk (stet) at 9:51 PM on April 1, 2012


So how will this glorious nonsense be preserved posterity? Tomorrow is another day, which not 4.1... so what happens then?

fartfartfart
posted by Cold Lurkey (stack hat) at 10:03 PM on April 1, 2012


It will be preserved in amber.
posted by Skygazer (stiffie) at 10:05 PM on April 1, 2012


Gimme.
posted by HeyAllie (stoooooooooooooned) at 10:07 PM on April 1, 2012


Skygazer (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 12:43 AM on April 2 [+] [!]


(This is that panel in a cartoon strip where the two characters just stare at one another without any expression.)
posted by Skygazer (stilettos) at 10:09 PM on April 1, 2012


hey you guuuuuuyyssss
posted by Pink Fuzzy Bunny (farts) at 10:09 PM on April 1, 2012


Am I too late?
posted by Pallas Athena (stack hat) at 10:27 PM on April 1, 2012


It's always April frist in hear.
posted by a humble nudibranch (stamps.com) at 10:28 PM on April 1, 2012


*bounce for joy*
posted by Pallas Athena (stasi) at 10:31 PM on April 1, 2012


Yay! \o/
posted by ZeusHumms (staph) at 10:32 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm late
posted by Superfrankenstein (studmuffin)
Posted by The Whelk (starblazers)
posted by Superfrankenstein (stoooooooooooooned) at 10:39 PM on April 1, 2012


I'm late
posted by Superfrankenstein (studmuffin)
Posted by The Whelk (starblazers)
posted by Superfrankenstein (nobody understands him but his woman )

it never ends...
posted by oneswellfoop (stoat) at 10:44 PM on April 1, 2012


tee hee
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints (st00pid) at 10:45 PM on April 1, 2012


One thousand and thirteenth
posted by jng (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 10:46 PM on April 1, 2012


Ah, nice. An afterparty.
posted by rewil (stadia) at 10:51 PM on April 1, 2012


what.
posted by azarbayejani (stuff) at 11:00 PM on April 1, 2012


Kitchen is through there.
posted by flabdablet (stoooooooooooooned) at 11:14 PM on April 1, 2012


Hmmmm.
posted by Rangeboy (mood) at 11:15 PM on April 1, 2012


Alright, I give in. Although I do feel pressured to type something witty.
posted by piedmont ('struth) at 11:44 PM on April 1, 2012


Am I too late?
posted by taff (stand and deliver) at 12:16 AM on April 2, 2012


My goodness this is a long one!
posted by Bibliogeek (puff daddy) at 12:33 AM on April 2, 2012


I want more! GIVE ME ALL THE TAGS!
posted by stray (SHAFT) at 12:35 AM on April 2, 2012


I want more! GIVE ME ALL THE TAGS!
posted by stray (soup to nuts) at 2:35 AM on April 2 [+] [!]

Fuckin' genius.
posted by tzikeh (pfaff) at 1:11 AM on April 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


I hope I get a tag too
posted by cotterpin (stan the potato man) at 1:52 AM on April 2, 2012


ooh and me!
posted by TheOtherGuy (stable boy) at 2:00 AM on April 2, 2012


nah i want a better one..
posted by TheOtherGuy (staph) at 2:00 AM on April 2, 2012


Hey guys, what did I miss?
posted by like_neon (sterling) at 2:35 AM on April 2, 2012


Well I guess I missed this.
posted by solarion (stasi) at 2:55 AM on April 2, 2012


Everything is lovely.
posted by Pallas Athena (hairway to steven) at 3:59 AM on April 2, 2012


Well, I'm not commenting just to get a silly funtag. That would be crass, especially at this late stage.

Ahem.
posted by robself (staph) at 4:03 AM on April 2, 2012


Indeed
posted by dabug (start) at 4:21 AM on April 2, 2012


Yup.
posted by carter (soup to nuts) at 4:33 AM on April 2, 2012


I approve!
posted by LMGM (stats) at 4:52 AM on April 2, 2012


Oh, who can resist? Not I.
posted by Scram (naff) at 4:53 AM on April 2, 2012


Did I miss it?
posted by joe vrrr (stopped) at 5:56 AM on April 2, 2012


It's never too late for silliness!
posted by Lush (sunday sunday SUNDAY) at 6:00 AM on April 2, 2012


Huh.
posted by motty (graph) at 6:03 AM on April 2, 2012


Harrumph!
posted by mimi (stagger lee) at 6:27 AM on April 2, 2012


I am late. As usual.
posted by somanyamys (half) at 6:29 AM on April 2, 2012


Something?
posted by jquinby (stanley kubrick) at 6:48 AM on April 2, 2012


uh...it was on my list for today.
posted by jquinby (standup bass) at 6:49 AM on April 2, 2012


oh.
posted by wreckingball (stoned) at 6:49 AM on April 2, 2012


My folks had one very simple rule for April fools day: You clean up after the joke.

So, mainly we just skipped the classics and went for thinking man's pranks; I switched out my brother's deodorant for a women's brand, and put the appropriate Nirvana single in his cars tape deck.

The problem was that every couple of years, one of the older kids would decide it'd be funny to play what we all called the reverse. Basically you'd just spend the whole day talking about how awesome the prank you set up was, and how the person was going to get it, and then do nothing.

Which was mildly amusing the first time, but by the 6th time through, we all knew what was going on. It just became a this weird tradition, and nobody want to break with tradition, and we all felt that if we just said "I'm going to get you" one more time than the person did last year, we'd REALLY sell it. So by the end, the true April Fool's Day joke was done by the receiver of the threat (being the youngest, it was usually me). I'd just goad them on by acting scared, and then at the end of the day, after they spent hours formulating how to threaten me with an action we both knew wasn't going to happen, I'd say "yeah, I knew what you were doing."

So, in the spirit of the reverse-reverse, having made all of you take the time to read this expecting some sort of punchline, when the only one that you're going to get is disappointing and predictable, I say, a day late:

April Fools.
posted by Gygesringtone (stooped) at 6:52 AM on April 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


IS THIS THING STILL ON? CAN I SAY HI TO MY MOM?

HI MOM!!!
posted by slogger (sylvan learning center) at 7:04 AM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hmm.
posted by jonnyploy (stephen hawking) at 7:08 AM on April 2, 2012


I knew I should have stopped by here on the 1st. Tarnation!
posted by Deathalicious (stent) at 7:19 AM on April 2, 2012


Are these things still on?
posted by teragram (sartori) at 7:25 AM on April 2, 2012


Okay why not.
posted by Partial Law (naff) at 7:32 AM on April 2, 2012


Did I miss this fun thing?
posted by jph (startled moose) at 7:32 AM on April 2, 2012


Stet? What's a stet? That's boring.
posted by jph (sweeney toddler) at 7:33 AM on April 2, 2012


I do prefer stout.
posted by jph (spouse) at 7:33 AM on April 2, 2012


Ooh, they keep changing!
posted by jph (scrappy-doo) at 7:34 AM on April 2, 2012


Is this still working? I want a tag!
posted by caution live frogs (SHAFT) at 7:34 AM on April 2, 2012


Why golly it IS working. Now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks, Metafilter!
posted by caution live frogs (staffing solutions) at 7:35 AM on April 2, 2012


Ooh cool. I hope I get one that says 'staff'.
posted by mbd1mbd1 (shillelagh) at 7:44 AM on April 2, 2012


damn.
posted by mbd1mbd1 (stalwart) at 7:44 AM on April 2, 2012


Tag me! Tag me!
posted by never used baby shoes (stats) at 8:00 AM on April 2, 2012


I think we all need a time out.
posted by mkultra (stamp tramp) at 8:19 AM on April 2, 2012


Hooray!
posted by chara (star wars) at 8:23 AM on April 2, 2012


I'm glad this wizardry still appears to work - I want a shiny tag!
posted by Rallon (giraffed) at 8:41 AM on April 2, 2012


help
posted by rocketman (sartori) at 8:48 AM on April 2, 2012


Really?
posted by unreasonable ('struth) at 8:56 AM on April 2, 2012


Man, I don't know how the MeFi staff can handle wearing these tags everyday.

I find the responsibility that goes along with it very stressful.
posted by mazola (naff) at 8:56 AM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


whut
posted by Madamina (stab) at 8:59 AM on April 2, 2012


Longest meta ever?
posted by Pontius Pilate (stairway to heaven) at 9:16 AM on April 2, 2012


Not even close
posted by The Whelk (staph) at 9:20 AM on April 2, 2012


Yet...
posted by Skygazer (star wars) at 9:25 AM on April 2, 2012


Pontius Pilate: "Longest meta ever?"

We're in top 20 territory, but that's it.
posted by zarq (staring contest) at 9:28 AM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Kind of an I Ching thing, really.
posted by Chrysostom (stagger lee) at 9:35 AM on April 2, 2012


No, seriously. Does Filthy Light Thief have some special coding privileges or something?
posted by Melismata (hairway to steven) at 9:36 AM on April 2, 2012


No, seriously. He just noticed the April Fools thing we implemented before anyone else.
posted by jessamyn (stodgy) at 9:39 AM on April 2, 2012


How did I miss this? Funny MF events should happen on work days.
posted by 2bucksplus (stuff) at 9:42 AM on April 2, 2012


*tap tap* Is this thing still on?
posted by widdershins (stand and deliver) at 9:52 AM on April 2, 2012


OOh, can I play?
posted by rabbitrabbit (stooped) at 9:55 AM on April 2, 2012


Let's make it longer by having Sarah Palin confess which account is her sockpuppet and have a Scott Adams meltdown.
posted by mccarty.tim (stentoria) at 10:17 AM on April 2, 2012


Random tags you say.. I want one too
posted by radsqd (stavrosthewinderchicken) at 10:34 AM on April 2, 2012


Oooh, me next!
posted by saladin (studmuffin) at 10:37 AM on April 2, 2012


Late to the party.
posted by kimdog (simple machine) at 10:58 AM on April 2, 2012


Later to the party.
posted by mlle valentine (starburns) at 11:04 AM on April 2, 2012


yay, I'm not too late!
posted by vespabelle (sterling) at 11:13 AM on April 2, 2012


shouldn't mine be Stellllllaaaaaaaaaa!
posted by vespabelle (standup bass) at 11:14 AM on April 2, 2012


Hey everybody what's happening
posted by Westringia F. (stuffed) at 11:16 AM on April 2, 2012


Want
posted by craven_morhead (puff daddy) at 11:18 AM on April 2, 2012


If this continues to have the tags available until it gets its standard 30-day shutdown (which would correspond to the entire month of April), I think it'll end up a contender for all-time longest MeTa, especially if more tags are regularly added to the mix, which, considering what I know about the people with access to the tag creation, is fairly likely.

(startled moose) and (standup bass) look like two of those added since April 1st officially passed.

And why are they still ignoring my suggestions of (ned stark) or (tony stark) or (stark naked) or (stark raving)? Oh, yeah, because they're MY suggestions.

Or we could just convert this to a Kickstarter project. Hey, there's another tag idea you can ignore because I suggested it: (kickstarter).
posted by oneswellfoop (stuffing) at 11:18 AM on April 2, 2012


Nothing to see here, move along.
posted by FarOutFreak (fapfapfap) at 11:27 AM on April 2, 2012


We're not adding more tags. We haven't added more tags since 4/1 was officially over in our time zones. We didn't ignore your suggestions as much as we just didn't take suggestions from the thread itself.
posted by jessamyn (stadia) at 11:57 AM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Day late! But it's nice to feel being a part of the staff.
posted by phyrewerx (hairway to steven) at 11:59 AM on April 2, 2012


'sup, y'all?
posted by dismas (stent) at 12:06 PM on April 2, 2012


Obligatory.
posted by jessamyn (mr. belvedere) at 12:07 PM on April 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


does anyone read the posts down here?
posted by starman (stanley kubrick) at 12:15 PM on April 2, 2012


Last!
posted by bodega (stent) at 12:19 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Will I embroider my nickname on a pillow?
posted by shortyJBot (staffing solutions) at 12:29 PM on April 2, 2012


It's not too late!
posted by furtive (stoned) at 12:32 PM on April 2, 2012


HEY MISTER BASSMAN, I WANT TO BE A BASSMAN TOO.
posted by not_on_display (stuffing) at 12:40 PM on April 2, 2012


Yay!
posted by rollbiz (stentoria) at 12:41 PM on April 2, 2012


It was the best of times, it was the...

It was the year the April Fools thread lastes all year, until the next year. Until the very last minute of the very last second, of the very next April Fool's Day.

Most of that year had not taken place yet, though so he couldn't quite figure out what should happen next. Should he disable his Metafilter account for the year until the very next April Fool's Day?


The End.
posted by Skygazer (stamps.com) at 12:41 PM on April 2, 2012


Now Zoidberg is the popular one!
posted by Demogorgon (stoopid) at 12:42 PM on April 2, 2012


i did not realise i had to share my zach braf-ness :(
posted by batmonkey (waft) at 12:44 PM on April 2, 2012


Whee!
posted by Carillon (stagger lee) at 1:04 PM on April 2, 2012


Now ist the time on Metatalk ven we haff tags!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit (step) at 1:08 PM on April 2, 2012


One for the road.
posted by wallabear (no soap) at 1:20 PM on April 2, 2012


One for the road.
posted by wallabear (stars in your eyes) at 1:20 PM

Works for me :)
posted by wallabear (giraffed) at 1:21 PM on April 2, 2012


I read this last night and didn't post and now I want one I hope I can have one oh boy oh boy!!
posted by thankyouforyourconsideration (riffraff) at 1:22 PM on April 2, 2012


This is great, if for no other reason that it's keeping people occupied and therefore not making whiny new metatalk posts.
posted by Melismata (esteban) at 1:23 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


mine!
posted by mareli (stoat) at 1:25 PM on April 2, 2012


the
posted by chugg (gaffe) at 1:43 PM on April 2, 2012


I missed april fools day...
posted by Karmakaze (stacked) at 1:51 PM on April 2, 2012


Dang, I forgot to add the [sarcasm] tag to my last comment here.
posted by oneswellfoop (shillelagh) at 1:57 PM on April 2, 2012


I was otherwise occupied yesterday - better late than, and all that.
posted by shiny blue object (horse ebooks) at 2:02 PM on April 2, 2012


Is it still April 1st somewhere?
posted by Kabanos (calved) at 2:24 PM on April 2, 2012


Every fool's an April fool
For foolery's in flower.
There's sugar in the salt shaker
And corn oil in the shower.

That heavy breathing call was me
Made to your office phone;
I cling-wrap-trapped the toilet bowl
For you and you alone.

The whoopee cushion sighs my love
Wherever you are seated;
And when you come to share my bed
You'll find yourself shortsheeted.

Oh every fool's an April fool
So take my hand and sing:
For you may hope to spring the trap,
But never trap the Spring.
posted by Pallas Athena (president taft) at 2:24 PM on April 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


I see this thread still maintains the randomized tags. Neat.
posted by jabberjaw (gaffe) at 2:34 PM on April 2, 2012


I want one.
posted by Mo Nickels (stamp tramp) at 2:40 PM on April 2, 2012


:)
posted by Mo Nickels (stamen) at 2:40 PM on April 2, 2012


Frist!
posted by Rocket Surgeon (steppenwolf) at 2:58 PM on April 2, 2012


I mean - Second!
posted by Rocket Surgeon (stamps.com) at 2:59 PM on April 2, 2012


Late to the party, but Yay for jokes!
posted by DiscourseMarker (stalin) at 3:05 PM on April 2, 2012


Chicken check.
posted by fiercecupcake (graph) at 3:18 PM on April 2, 2012


This is just to say


wee! I'm not too late!
posted by twoporedomain (stamp tramp) at 3:26 PM on April 2, 2012


Yey!!1!
posted by edmz (stuff) at 3:26 PM on April 2, 2012


MERCACK
posted by jeoc (stout) at 3:48 PM on April 2, 2012


Is this thing still on??!
posted by wemayfreeze (standardized test) at 4:08 PM on April 2, 2012


Sweet I love toads.
posted by wemayfreeze (steve-o) at 4:08 PM on April 2, 2012


I love silly words!
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly (standardized test) at 4:10 PM on April 2, 2012


In to this thread before the whistle blows...
posted by infini (stfu) at 4:18 PM on April 2, 2012


I'm just greedy, I want another tag.
posted by patheral (esteban) at 4:38 PM on April 2, 2012


Why did it take me so long to discover this thread?
posted by Metro Gnome (staves) at 5:27 PM on April 2, 2012


What fun!
posted by nickyskye (hairway to steven) at 5:30 PM on April 2, 2012


And I am...
posted by thrako (gaffe) at 5:35 PM on April 2, 2012


Me too! Me too!
posted by Kinbote (sylvan learning center) at 5:36 PM on April 2, 2012


Yay! We still have tags!
posted by SisterHavana (stout) at 6:19 PM on April 2, 2012


Is this the thread with the most individual posters? If not, where does it fall on the spectrum?
posted by batmonkey (hurf durf butter staffer) at 6:40 PM on April 2, 2012


Anybody know where I can download Game of Thrones?
posted by BobbyVan (stack exchange) at 6:58 PM on April 2, 2012


Okay, a person can resist temptation for only so long. Well, this person, anyway.
posted by gingerest (staple singers) at 7:15 PM on April 2, 2012


Me too.
posted by onlyconnect (karen carpenter) at 7:32 PM on April 2, 2012


Last!
posted by hawkeye (stupid) at 7:43 PM on April 2, 2012


Is this thing still on?
Tags: latetotheparty
posted by joe lisboa (stamos potential) at 7:49 PM on April 2, 2012


I wish you people wouldn't keep saying you're late to the party. I still have plenty of my father's recipe Clam Dip left! (Why won't anybody even try my father's recipe Clam Dip?!?)
posted by oneswellfoop (smithers release the hounds) at 8:21 PM on April 2, 2012


Oooh, it still works!

I hope it does otherwise this post will look pretty stupid...
posted by booksherpa (stebbins) at 8:32 PM on April 2, 2012


Oh thank goodness I'm not too late for this party. Thank you flt.
posted by gubenuj (stack hat) at 8:35 PM on April 2, 2012


Sure, flt was here to start the party, but he left hours ago to get more chips and hasn't come back!
posted by oneswellfoop (newborn calf) at 8:57 PM on April 2, 2012


Is this thing still on?
posted by insectosaurus (stooped) at 9:30 PM on April 2, 2012


Ooh, I've always wanted to be a mod!
posted by DakotaPaul (stooped) at 10:05 PM on April 2, 2012


help my marathon writing session is driving me mad help
posted by The Whelk (pfaff) at 10:10 PM on April 2, 2012


!
posted by asuprenant (stable boy) at 10:18 PM on April 2, 2012


Ma dai!
posted by francesca too (stodgy) at 10:52 PM on April 2, 2012


One for the road.
posted by wallabear (soup to nuts) at 1:20 PM on April 2 [+] [!]


One for the road.
posted by wallabear (stars in your eyes) at 1:20 PM

Works for me :)
posted by wallabear (soup to nuts) at 1:21 PM on April 2 [+] [!]

Double?
posted by wallabear (sweeney toddler) at 10:57 PM on April 2, 2012


There are those among us that will name their offspring April
posted by Sailormom (behalf) at 11:12 PM on April 2, 2012


Is this thing on?
posted by bluedaisy (stats) at 11:32 PM on April 2, 2012


And I thought I'd missed this party
posted by Augenblick (sterling) at 11:35 PM on April 2, 2012


April Fool's is more of a season, really.
posted by drinkyclown (stifler) at 11:40 PM on April 2, 2012


Just came here to get a tag.

Yay!
posted by baueri (newborn calf) at 1:23 AM on April 3, 2012


Me too!
posted by Start with Dessert (farts) at 1:58 AM on April 3, 2012


Woot!
posted by BrotherCaine (stuffing) at 3:13 AM on April 3, 2012


Wait is this really random?
posted by BrotherCaine (sweeney toddler) at 3:14 AM on April 3, 2012


What's all this then?
posted by biscotti (stab) at 4:58 AM on April 3, 2012


What good-natured fun! Not like some other threads.

Note: Everyone needs a hug... AND A COMICAL TAG.
posted by Coaticass (step) at 5:05 AM on April 3, 2012


An overwhelming majority of these new tags begin with the letter S. What's up with that?
posted by slogger (stout) at 5:52 AM on April 3, 2012


"hairway to steven" is my favorite.
posted by slogger (stasi) at 5:52 AM on April 3, 2012


Am I too late?
posted by harriet vane (stack hat) at 6:06 AM on April 3, 2012


I'm sleepy.
posted by Shepherd (stuffed) at 6:32 AM on April 3, 2012


S is the happiest letter.
posted by h00py (mr. belvedere) at 6:42 AM on April 3, 2012


Not late at all, by the looks..
posted by bystander (stefi graf) at 7:03 AM on April 3, 2012


Just passing through...
posted by isnotchicago (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 7:05 AM on April 3, 2012


Am I too early?
posted by owtytrof (farts) at 7:47 AM on April 3, 2012


Yes.
posted by ourobouros (farts) at 8:00 AM on April 3, 2012


What's in the box?
posted by obscurator (stalin) at 8:23 AM on April 3, 2012


A HUMAN HEAD
posted by cashman (standup comedian) at 10:13 AM on April 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Turn around, turn around...
posted by fiercecupcake (scrappy-doo) at 11:42 AM on April 3, 2012


... BRIGHT EYES
posted by The Whelk (graph) at 11:48 AM on April 3, 2012


Not too late? Here's a value-add Ogden Nash poem in thanks for all the staff-tag lulz: "Always Marry an April Girl."

Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy,
Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;
April soft in flowered languor,
April cold with sudden anger,
Ever changing, ever true --
I love April, I love you.
posted by ottereroticist (zach braf) at 2:47 PM on April 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


How many refreshes will I need before I find a worthy tag?
posted by CancerMan (sartori) at 2:58 PM on April 3, 2012


hey
posted by TheGoodBlood (stentoria) at 3:01 PM on April 3, 2012


i'm baaaaack.
posted by AJaffe (stamps.com) at 3:18 PM on April 3, 2012


How many refreshes will I need before I find a worthy tag?

I don't know. I never made it without biting.
posted by cashman (fapfapfap) at 3:56 PM on April 3, 2012


Now me!
posted by cmoj (smithers) at 4:48 PM on April 3, 2012


Hi
posted by SarahElizaP (stella) at 5:44 PM on April 3, 2012


Hip deep in April fools unafraid to let their fool flag fly. Ah, breath it in....do you recognize the scent in in the Spring air? It is the intoxicating scent of freedom and fools. Fools unfolding into flowers of romance.
posted by Skygazer (stack o toads) at 6:37 PM on April 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Sexy sexy time for Metafilter and April foolery....
posted by Skygazer (steve-o) at 6:44 PM on April 3, 2012


I'm always late to the party, as usual.
posted by Effigy2000 (soup to nuts) at 8:53 PM on April 3, 2012


A what?
posted by azazello (sunday sunday SUNDAY) at 10:21 PM on April 3, 2012


April Fools Day? More like April Fools Month, amirite?
posted by oneswellfoop (chaff) at 10:33 PM on April 3, 2012


All hail the Fools of April!
posted by platinum (standardized test) at 2:29 AM on April 4, 2012


Ding
posted by Monday (stentoria) at 2:48 AM on April 4, 2012


Dong
posted by Monday (staphylococcus) at 2:48 AM on April 4, 2012


yo!
posted by blueberrypicasso (staple singers) at 7:24 AM on April 4, 2012


What?
posted by Happy Dave (stand and deliver) at 9:15 AM on April 4, 2012


yay!
posted by jrb223 (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 10:25 AM on April 4, 2012


two?
posted by jrb223 (stoooooooooooooned) at 10:30 AM on April 4, 2012


Two too.
posted by Godbert (smithers) at 11:56 AM on April 4, 2012


Two three.
posted by Ms. Next (sterling) at 12:04 PM on April 4, 2012


Two four.
posted by owtytrof (start) at 12:18 PM on April 4, 2012


Oh hey, that's neat!
posted by Kattullus (fapfapfap) at 1:08 PM on April 4, 2012


Two much.
posted by oneswellfoop (soup to nuts) at 2:29 PM on April 4, 2012


I think I missed a party?
posted by introp (starblazers) at 2:32 PM on April 4, 2012


No one invited me.
posted by pupdog (sylvan learning center) at 2:36 PM on April 4, 2012


Better late than never I suppose...
posted by TheCoug (starvin') at 2:56 PM on April 4, 2012


Six seasons and a movie!
posted by mbrubeck (stabbatical) at 4:09 PM on April 4, 2012


?
posted by The Card Cheat (behalf) at 4:19 PM on April 4, 2012


Does it work if I'm 3 days late?
posted by chevyvan (spouse) at 4:32 PM on April 4, 2012


hm
posted by bdave (cory doctorow) at 4:37 PM on April 4, 2012


poop
posted by arveale (st00pid) at 5:03 PM on April 4, 2012


With just over 1200 comments, this thread would check in at #14 of the "posts in MetaTalk with the most comments" list when it is next updated. It'll take over 800 more to make the Top 5, and 2400 more to grab the gold ring. I, for one, think it would be a cool thing if this did unseat the "sansgras" thread for #1, but it'll take all of our efforts, returning every few days to drop a bon mot or nonsequitur, to accomplish this before the inevitable closure on April 30th. COME ON METATALKERS, LET'S MAKE THIS AN APRIL TO REMEMBER.
posted by oneswellfoop (shillelagh) at 5:15 PM on April 4, 2012


You know I'm going to do MY part...
posted by oneswellfoop (startled moose) at 5:16 PM on April 4, 2012


...because apparently I have nothing better to do.
posted by oneswellfoop (start) at 5:17 PM on April 4, 2012


Whatsamatter, burhan? Your arms tired? Have some grog!
posted by rtha (hurf durf butter staffer) at 5:41 PM on April 4, 2012


okay, then MeMail all your contacts who haven't already participated...
posted by oneswellfoop (fapfapfap) at 5:43 PM on April 4, 2012


I would like to volunteer to be the cox of the longboat of debauchery.
posted by arcticseal (stamen) at 6:53 PM on April 4, 2012


Beanplating the longboat, I see. Splendid!

Oh yeah....chicka bow wow...chicka chicka bow bow....
posted by Skygazer (winner) at 7:51 PM on April 4, 2012


Y'arr ye scurvy scalawags! All 'board th' longboat, we'll be takin' it fer a voyage. Thar be treasure 800 posts thataway!

Whars th' grog now?
posted by jabberjaw ('struth) at 7:55 PM on April 4, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm thinking this may be less of a longboat and more of a Long Long Trailer.
posted by oneswellfoop (steppenwolf) at 8:06 PM on April 4, 2012


FOOOOPY! WHAAAT HAVE YOU DONE?
posted by loquacious (staring contest) at 9:16 PM on April 4, 2012


It can't be done, I say.
posted by owtytrof (stan the potato man) at 9:22 PM on April 4, 2012


No, really.
posted by owtytrof (fapfapfap) at 9:22 PM on April 4, 2012


I'm so late to this thread it's not even fashionably late. It's now in the area where it's just plain rude and if someone is showing up this late they should either bring fucking dessert or just not come.

I felt obligated to post something to get my tag..
posted by Deflagro (standardized test) at 11:47 PM on April 4, 2012


Ok, I'm sure I can come up with brownies... somewhere.

(This is what I get for being so far behind in Google Reader.)
posted by RyanAdams (puff daddy) at 6:54 AM on April 5, 2012


Holy crap! It's Ryan Adams! Hi Ryan!
posted by Skygazer (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 8:02 AM on April 5, 2012


Also, if this thread is going to really vie for the big prize, I think it needs more badges. More stinking badges. Because we do need more stinking badges!
posted by Skygazer (st00pid) at 8:04 AM on April 5, 2012


oneswellfoop: "(Why won't anybody even try my father's recipe Clam Dip?!?)"

Is it kosher? :D
posted by zarq (stack hat) at 8:05 AM on April 5, 2012


I could have sworng I posted in this thing.
posted by lysdexic (startled moose) at 8:53 AM on April 5, 2012


I have posted in this heaven.
posted by anazgnos (stifler) at 5:03 PM on April 5, 2012


Ain't no party like a randomized (staff) tags party, 'cause a randomized (staff) tags party don't stop!
posted by diogenes (newborn calf) at 10:43 AM on April 6, 2012


It's april 6th, get back to work you crumb-bums!
posted by codacorolla (star light star bright) at 10:54 AM on April 6, 2012


It's april 6th, get back to work you crumb-bums!

Its Good Friday you numbskull!
posted by infini (stab) at 11:27 AM on April 6, 2012


This April 1st just KEEPS ON GIVING!
posted by jeanmari (graph) at 1:04 AM on April 7, 2012


testing, testing, 1-2-3
posted by livinglearning (stephen hawking) at 6:46 AM on April 7, 2012


Crumb-bums, love.
posted by thinkpiece (gaffe) at 10:36 AM on April 7, 2012


Staff tags (the real ones) are hard to search for using Command-F. I often resort to viewing source.

That’s the best I can come up with.
posted by joeclark (stuffing) at 12:59 PM on April 7, 2012


staff tag tartan pony?
posted by jeffburdges (snuffleuppagus) at 2:11 PM on April 7, 2012


want another
posted by Wordwoman (stupid) at 2:56 PM on April 7, 2012


Game of Thrones trivia question: In Westeros, do they celebrate Wester?
posted by oneswellfoop (stand and deliver) at 6:20 PM on April 7, 2012


Always late.
posted by elmono (stafu) at 9:27 AM on April 8, 2012


Game of Thrones trivia question: In Westeros, do they celebrate Wester?

In Soviet Westeros, eggs hunt you!
posted by Sys Rq (stacked) at 10:52 AM on April 8, 2012


They roll Ned Stark's head down a hill.
posted by arcticseal (stent) at 3:25 PM on April 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


okay, but i really do want to know if this (or another) post has the most unique commenters in it ("unique" as in "individual" not as in "remarkable", 'though i'm sure everyone here is quite remarkably unique).
posted by batmonkey (stifler) at 12:17 PM on April 9, 2012


I'm pretty sure that about 50% of the posters are actually filthy light thief's sock puppets (including a couple of the "real" moderators). So, it would be impossible to tell.
posted by jabberjaw (sterling) at 9:15 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


hah. nice.

(still: i will send cookies to anyone who can give my statistics-obsessed mind a real answer, even if it's just a reference to the thread that beats this one)
posted by batmonkey (snodgrass) at 2:47 PM on April 10, 2012


PARTY NEVER ENDS
posted by solarion (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 2:51 AM on April 11, 2012


Did I just wake up?
posted by Edison Carter (stabilizer) at 6:42 AM on April 11, 2012


If I had this many socks, I'd rich.

Because I'd trade my sock puppets to the underwear gnomes.

And then I'd profit.
posted by filthy light thief (hurf durf butter staffer) at 3:16 PM on April 11, 2012


I'd trade my sock puppets to the underwear gnomes.

Can I make a t-shirt of that?
posted by oneswellfoop (smithers) at 3:23 PM on April 11, 2012


Depicting the actions of trade, or from the physical products of my trade?
posted by filthy light thief (staring contest) at 3:27 PM on April 11, 2012


No, just the words, which with enough 'viral' manipulation can become a cool catchphrase. (Get me some cat pictures and Impact type!)
posted by oneswellfoop (stuffing) at 3:39 PM on April 11, 2012


Will you settle for photoshopped Economist magazine covers and Comic Sans?
posted by jabberjaw (ffats) at 4:07 PM on April 11, 2012


SPREAD THE MEME
posted by oneswellfoop (gaffe) at 8:05 PM on April 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


This thread needs a major kick in the butt.
posted by Skygazer (graft) at 9:58 AM on April 12, 2012


I have an underwear Gnome....

IN MY PANTS!!! HA AHA HA!!!
posted by Skygazer ('struth) at 10:03 AM on April 12, 2012


*splooosh*
posted by khedron (seven chinese brothers) at 10:13 AM on April 12, 2012


This thread needs a major kick in the butt.

I thought the Underwear Gnomes would do that...
posted by oneswellfoop (mood) at 11:37 AM on April 12, 2012


I thought DMT was a common explanation for the activities of lawn gnomes (and the writers of "Gnomeo and Juliet")
posted by oneswellfoop (stout) at 12:03 PM on April 12, 2012


Is that a picture of Sifl & Ollie? If not, it should be.
posted by jabberjaw (staph) at 1:45 PM on April 12, 2012


This longboat is languishing, with nary a gust to move it along.

Maybe Friday the 13th will do something.

Because I'm totally out of ideas. And steam.

No more steam for this day.

I should have opted for a nuclear power. Instead, I went old fashioned, and chose steam powered.
posted by filthy light thief (star wars) at 4:34 PM on April 12, 2012


Like beating swords into plowshares, it's time to turn sock puppets into sock portraits.
posted by oneswellfoop (stanley kubrick) at 7:35 PM on April 12, 2012


I'll bite.
posted by palegirl (fapfapfap) at 11:15 PM on April 12, 2012


NOTHING BUT VAMPIRE EROTICA FROM HERE ON
posted by The Whelk (esteban) at 8:57 AM on April 13, 2012


ANYTHING BUT VAMPIRE EROTICA FROM EREHWON
posted by daniel_charms (st00pid) at 9:34 AM on April 13, 2012


Once upon a time there was a vampire that sucked. A lot.

The end.
posted by jabberjaw (simple machine) at 9:58 AM on April 13, 2012


boy: hey
girl doesn’t say anything
boy: i really like u
girl doesn’t say anything
boy: ok, i love u
girl still isn’t sayin nothin!
boy: and i never wanna let u go
girl remains silence..
boy kisses girl
boy eats girl
boy was vampire the whole time
posted by mccarty.tim (mood) at 10:07 AM on April 13, 2012


Someone please make me a picture.
posted by adamvasco (standardized test) at 10:45 AM on April 13, 2012


You know those photographers who go around photographing people in clubs, photoshopping the pictures to look more glamorous, and selling em' back to people? Yeah, they should start photoshopping vampire fangs on everyone, maybe goths aren't rich enough to be a target demographic for that.
posted by jeffburdges (stacked) at 10:49 AM on April 13, 2012


Vampire walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here!"

Vampire, dejected, begins to walk out of the bar. Then stops, turns around, and says: "I have long walked this earth and been sneered upon by people. I may never see the sun, for it would burn my skin until I die. And because of my curse, I may never know love. I know nothing but rejection and sadness."

Bartender, feeling bad, tells the vampire to come back.

And then they make out.

Erotically.
posted by jabberjaw (standardized test) at 10:50 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Goths with money are more concerned with their dead mice dollhouses and authentic black lace gloves to worry about things as silly as fangs
posted by The Whelk (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 10:50 AM on April 13, 2012


How do you unerotically make out anyway?
posted by The Whelk ( radio) at 10:51 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


is that what Kirk Cameron does?
posted by The Whelk (stalwart) at 10:51 AM on April 13, 2012


Yes, Kirk Cameron makes out with vampires unerotically, which is why I didn't include that story here.
posted by jabberjaw (sweeney toddler) at 11:01 AM on April 13, 2012


Is this thread still giving out tags?
posted by bardophile (naff) at 11:09 AM on April 13, 2012


TAGS A PLENTY
posted by The Whelk (stent) at 11:20 AM on April 13, 2012


For real?
posted by jquinby (mr. belvedere) at 11:21 AM on April 13, 2012


Yes Virginia.
posted by The Whelk (stiffie) at 11:24 AM on April 13, 2012


since I habitually wear pins with my jackets I'm wondering if I should just co-ordinate them with my mood to see if anyone notices.
posted by The Whelk (starter) at 11:25 AM on April 13, 2012


you totally should
posted by jabberjaw (starship trooper) at 11:26 AM on April 13, 2012


what emotions are tied to a Nuka Cola cap pin?
posted by The Whelk (stopped) at 11:27 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


FOR LANGUAGE IMPERALISM
posted by The Whelk (stand and deliver) at 11:42 AM on April 13, 2012


Funny, I expected when this thread reached the 'undead' stage it'd be more Zombie than Vampire.

Still, nobody wants to see zombie erotica.
posted by oneswellfoop (staves) at 11:43 AM on April 13, 2012


... you got some?
posted by jabberjaw (stiff) at 11:52 AM on April 13, 2012


It caused a controversy in Australia
posted by The Whelk (stax exchange) at 11:54 AM on April 13, 2012


dead mice dollhouses

So are these dollhouses made out of dead mice, dollhouses marketed at the dead mouse demographic or regular dollhouses featuring dead mice as one of the furnishings?
posted by Mitheral (stack exchange) at 1:15 PM on April 13, 2012


I saw Endhiran (the Indian Robot) movie recently and it was great! Bollywood! Aishwarya Rai Bachchan looking gorgeous! Big fabulous musical numbers! Geeky plot things! Bonus "Demon Seed" type content. ALL THE CHEEZETASTIC ACTION.
posted by rmd1023 (stefi graf) at 2:12 PM on April 13, 2012


So are these dollhouses made out of dead mice, dollhouses marketed at the dead mouse demographic or regular dollhouses featuring dead mice as one of the furnishings?


Yes.
posted by The Whelk (stats) at 3:39 PM on April 13, 2012


So they're dollhouses by, for, and of dead mice.
posted by mbrubeck (stamen) at 4:11 PM on April 13, 2012


It's dead mouse dollhouses all the way down
posted by The Whelk (sterling) at 4:14 PM on April 13, 2012


Ah, what of Dollmouse, the Joss Vermin show starring Eliza Dusquirrel?
posted by jabberjaw (stopped) at 5:31 PM on April 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


Oh man, dollhouse, there was a good 12 episode series stuck inside those 26 episodes
posted by The Whelk (stebbins) at 5:59 PM on April 13, 2012


I suspect our cat has a dead mice dollhouse behind the couch, but I'm too scared to look.
posted by arcticseal (step) at 6:00 PM on April 13, 2012


The Dollhouse is MICE!!
posted by jeffburdges (behalf) at 7:00 PM on April 13, 2012


I think Disney owns the copyright and trademark on "Mouse House".

Could always go for a "Rats Haven".
posted by oneswellfoop (hurf durf butter staffer) at 10:30 PM on April 13, 2012


I hate it when I read the first few comments then scroll to the bottom and the conversation has gone all Salvador Dali. I just wanted to see more tags!
posted by taff (calved) at 6:18 AM on April 14, 2012


girl remains silence..
boy kisses girl
boy eats girl
boy was vampire the whole time

Girl was dead the whole time.
posted by daniel_charms (stanley kubrick) at 10:50 AM on April 14, 2012


The Double Vampire Reveal - dude was actually vampire, but a really shitty one.
posted by The Whelk (staph) at 10:56 AM on April 14, 2012


I don't know how anyone can look at the collection of tags and expect anything other than Salvador Dali. Maybe Rene Magritte? "This is not a tag."
posted by oneswellfoop (starvin') at 11:00 AM on April 14, 2012


This is not a comment.
posted by oneswellfoop (stalin) at 11:01 AM on April 14, 2012


This is not a foop.
posted by oneswellfoop (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 11:01 AM on April 14, 2012


I am not a whelk.
posted by The Whelk (scrappy-doo) at 11:05 AM on April 14, 2012


I, however, remain bedeviled.
posted by Devils Rancher (staring contest) at 11:07 AM on April 14, 2012


MAY YOU HERD THE DEVIL'S BISON
posted by The Whelk (stiffie) at 11:20 AM on April 14, 2012


I FOUND THE HUGS BISON (and I bought the t-shirt)
posted by oneswellfoop (sterling) at 11:33 AM on April 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am a not-so-great, tiny plum.
posted by The Great Big Mulp (stamen) at 11:53 AM on April 14, 2012


Okay, okay, I'll admit it, I'm not that swell.
posted by oneswellfoop (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 3:19 PM on April 14, 2012


Let me know when you're done with the fork, I've got some angel hair pasta to eat.
posted by jabberjaw (chaff) at 9:33 PM on April 14, 2012


Rock of ages cleft for me.
posted by Skygazer (stamp out litter) at 6:46 PM on April 15, 2012


project over, I am back.
posted by infini (pfaff) at 1:20 AM on April 16, 2012


The_Whelk has retweeted you : "This is not and never has been Twitter."
posted by The Whelk (studmuffin) at 9:25 AM on April 16, 2012


Doesn't mean it can't be in the future, if my Hostile Takeover Plans work out...
posted by oneswellfoop (steppenwolf) at 3:54 PM on April 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


So now we've got about two weeks to double the comments in this thread and make it the most commented-on MetaTalk thread ever.

NOW LOOK AT THESE SHINY STAFF TAGS AND POST SOMETHING
posted by jabberjaw (start) at 7:43 PM on April 16, 2012


DM @Burhanistan: you finished with that fork yet? #isitdoneyet
posted by arcticseal (stoat) at 3:06 AM on April 17, 2012


#hastag
posted by infini (stupid) at 5:10 AM on April 17, 2012


Happy Birthday Ian MacKaye! #Try #MinorThreat
posted by Skygazer (stamos potential) at 10:22 AM on April 17, 2012


I don't know what it's going to take to get this thread moving. Maybe if I disavowed any involvement in it...
posted by oneswellfoop (stooped) at 8:07 PM on April 17, 2012


Or I tweeted you a response
posted by infini (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 8:45 PM on April 17, 2012


oneswellfoop: "I don't know what it's going to take to get this thread moving. "

$20 SAIT.
posted by arcticseal (staphylococcus) at 7:44 AM on April 18, 2012


Oh, well looky here. I'm both stodgy and stoned. Obviously I need a third. I may refresh it eventually. Then I'll have lots of titles. I'll be a goddamn star!
posted by h00py (starblazers) at 8:08 AM on April 18, 2012


Could we get Hologram Tupoc added as a title?
posted by jeffburdges (starburns) at 8:26 AM on April 18, 2012


Do we get a new name every time we comment?
posted by insectosaurus (stodgy) at 8:56 AM on April 18, 2012


Yes we do!
posted by insectosaurus (no soap) at 8:56 AM on April 18, 2012


yay
posted by insectosaurus (stack exchange) at 8:56 AM on April 18, 2012


Thank goodness oneswellfoop is gone. Party!
posted by jabberjaw ( radio) at 8:56 AM on April 18, 2012


And also every time the page refreshes, apparently.
posted by insectosaurus (start) at 8:56 AM on April 18, 2012


Recipes? I would rather have an alphabet thread.
posted by not_on_display (stan the potato man) at 9:21 AM on April 18, 2012


Are recipes naughty? what?
posted by jeffburdges (staves) at 9:33 AM on April 18, 2012


THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF JULIA CHILD: A FICTIONAL MEMOIR IN SVEN SCENTS.
posted by The Whelk (stentoria) at 9:37 AM on April 18, 2012


Could we get Hologram Tupoc added as a title?

Does it have to be misspelled?
posted by Sys Rq (sterling) at 9:37 AM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


But of course.
posted by adamvasco (staves) at 9:38 AM on April 18, 2012


Cold and misty morning, I heard a warning borne in the air
About an age of power where no one had an hour to spare,
Where the seeds have withered, silent children shivered, in the cold
Now their faces captured in the lenses of the jackals for gold.
I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there.

Suffering in silence, they've all been betrayed.
They hurt them and they beat them, in a terrible way,
Praying for survival at the end of the day.
There is no compassion for those who stay.
I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there.

There must be someone who can set them free:
To take their sorrow from this odyssey
To help the helpless and the refugee
To protect what's left of humanity.
Can't you see
Can't you see
Can't you see.

I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there;
To heal their sorrow
To beg and borrow
Fight tommorow.

Step inside! Hello! We've the most amazing show
You'll enjoy it all we know
Step inside! Step Inside!

We've got thrills and shocks, supersonic fighting cocks.
Leave your hammers at the box
Come Inside! Come Inside!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Left behind the bars, rows of Bishops' heads in jars
and a bomb inside a car
Spectacular! Spectacular!

If you follow me there's a speciality
some tears for you to see
Misery, misery,
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Next upon the bill in our House of Vaudeville
We've a stripper in a till
What a thrill! What a thrill!
And not content with that, with our hands behind our backs,
We pull Jesus from a hat,
Get into that! Get into that!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!
There behind a glass is a real blade of grass
be careful as you pass.
Move along! Move along!

Come inside, the show's about to start
guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth
The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth.
You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll ....

Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline
Will perform on guillotine
What a scene! What a scene!
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
to Alexander's Ragtime Band
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool
Seven virgins and a mule
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
were exclusively our own,
All our own. All our own.
Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!
See the show!
posted by fearfulsymmetry (stabbatical) at 10:06 AM on April 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


Show? Show? I love a good show.
posted by rjs (puff daddy) at 10:37 AM on April 18, 2012


Don't you know, don't you know? Duh.
posted by adamvasco ( radio) at 10:38 AM on April 18, 2012


(holds up lighter)

DO LUCKY MAN
posted by jquinby (simple machine) at 10:54 AM on April 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Friedman's Syndrome - A form of lingering 911 PTSD that involves Stockholm Syndrome towards the extreme Right and a pathological need to brown-nose those with political power and/or vast wealth.
posted by Skygazer (simple machine) at 11:05 AM on April 18, 2012


I wasn't going to return, honest, but fearfulsymmmetry, you can't do Karn Evil 9 lyrics and omit the 3RD IMPRESSION:

Man alone; born of stone;
Will stamp the dust of time
His hands strike the flame of his soul;
Ties a rope to a tree and hangs the Universe
Until the winds of laughter blows cold.

Fear that rattles in men's ears
And rears it's hideous head
Dread .... Death .... in the wind ....

Man of steel pray and kneel
With fever's blazing torch
Thrust in the face of the night;
Draws a blade if compassion
Kissed by countless Kings
Whose jewelled trumpet words blind his sight.

Walls that no man thought would fall
The altars of the just
Crushed .... Dust .... in the wind ....

No man yields who flies in my ship
DANGER!
Let the bridge computer speak
STRANGER!
LOAD YOUR PROGRAM. I AM YOURSELF.

No computer stands in my way
Only blood can cancel my pain
Guardians of a nuclear dawn
Let the maps of war be drawn.

Rejoice! Glory is ours!
Our young men have not died in vain,
Their graves need no flowers
The tapes have recorded their names.

I am all there is
NEGATIVE! PRIMITIVE! LIMITED! I LET YOU LIVE!
But I gave you life
WHAT ELSE COULD YOU DO?
To do what was right
I'M PERFECT! ARE YOU?
posted by oneswellfoop (stack o toads) at 2:53 PM on April 18, 2012


must be noted:

I am all there is
NEGATIVE! PRIMITIVE! LIMITED! I LET YOU LIVE!
But I gave you life
WHAT ELSE COULD YOU DO?
To do what was right
I'M PERFECT! ARE YOU?
posted by oneswellfoop (star trek) at 2:53 PM on April 18 [+] [!]
posted by oneswellfoop (stfu) at 2:56 PM on April 18, 2012


I spent literally all day reading fan fiction and now I feel dirty.
posted by The Whelk (horse ebooks) at 3:09 PM on April 18, 2012


(stumbles to parking lot...can't find van among the others w/custom Frazetta scenes painted on the sides)
posted by jquinby ( radio) at 3:16 PM on April 18, 2012


I read scene as scone as was momentarily confused. Now I want jam.
posted by arcticseal (stfu) at 3:38 PM on April 18, 2012


Sconester kids are ruining this town.
posted by cortex (stoat) at 5:08 PM on April 18, 2012


But they're pretty well ensconced by now, so we're in a jam and we're gonna get creamed.
posted by flabdablet (giraffed) at 5:39 PM on April 18, 2012


Hey, dude, you look totally sconed...
posted by oneswellfoop (simple machine) at 5:50 PM on April 18, 2012


Yeah, man, I'm so baked.
posted by flabdablet (stagger lee) at 5:52 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


the biscuits are baked
posted by The Whelk (stuff) at 5:54 PM on April 18, 2012


I hardly remember why this is in my recent activity, and even looking at the comment I posted can't elucidate that mystery, but that said, I felt compelled to say:

I enjoy twice-baked potatoes. I hope to enjoy some on Friday, April 20.
posted by feloniousmonk (stacked) at 5:57 PM on April 18, 2012


thrice baked potatoes are just silly.
posted by The Whelk (stalwart) at 6:05 PM on April 18, 2012


I tried twice-baked cookies and they were awful.
posted by feloniousmonk (seven chinese brothers) at 6:07 PM on April 18, 2012


Concise-baked potatoes are very ...exact.
posted by The Whelk (spouse) at 6:09 PM on April 18, 2012


Have some refried beans with your twice-baked potatoes and other foods cooked in your double boiler for Redundancy Day! (12/12/12)
posted by oneswellfoop (stanley kubrick) at 6:13 PM on April 18, 2012


I ONLY EAT DOUBLE FOOD
posted by The Whelk (gaffe) at 6:17 PM on April 18, 2012


mmm, double cream
mmm, double cream
posted by flabdablet (standup bass) at 6:24 PM on April 18, 2012


and then there's triple sec...
posted by oneswellfoop (behalf) at 6:48 PM on April 18, 2012


a real double duchess
posted by fiercecupcake (stephen hawking) at 8:51 PM on April 18, 2012


The Double Down Sandwich Where The Bread Is Made Of Fried Chicken And There Is Bacon Inside It And Also Some Cheese Or Something is back at KFC.

(In case anyone was looking to double barf.)
posted by Sys Rq (stats) at 9:59 PM on April 18, 2012


Or just get a Double Double at In-And-Out.
posted by oneswellfoop (hurf durf butter staffer) at 10:11 PM on April 18, 2012


I'll in and out your Dutch double.
posted by dg (snodgrass) at 10:37 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'll just take the Dutch, double please
posted by infini (sunday sunday SUNDAY) at 10:42 PM on April 18, 2012


Now I want a Stroopwafel.
posted by arcticseal (esteban) at 12:18 AM on April 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


ich bin ein stroopwafel?
posted by oneswellfoop (stalin) at 12:55 AM on April 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


batmonkey: okay, but i really do want to know if this (or another) post has the most unique commenters in it ("unique" as in "individual" not as in "remarkable", 'though i'm sure everyone here is quite remarkably unique).

I've looked into this. The results:
* 819 - the number of unique contributors to this thread, so far.
* 838 - the most on a Metatalk thread: Get well soon, mathowie!
* 919 - the most on any subsite: Steve Jobs, RIP
posted by Pronoiac (starship trooper) at 2:12 AM on April 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


Right now I’m parsing XML for a point-and-click web app for the iPhone that’ll spice up four hundred contemporary American ethnic dishes with Chinese herbs and sauces.
posted by flabdablet (stebbins) at 4:49 AM on April 19, 2012


Chicken rice chilli sauce goes with everything.
posted by infini (stanley kubrick) at 5:44 AM on April 19, 2012


wir alle sind chili sauce.
posted by arcticseal (waft) at 6:22 AM on April 19, 2012


This is in real time!
I'll create a gooey inner face using Visual Basic.
posted by flabdablet (stalin) at 6:58 AM on April 19, 2012


This is in real time!

Oh, in that case let me just nip in to the kitchen and brb
posted by infini (stamps.com) at 7:32 AM on April 19, 2012


Enhance 224 to 176. Enhance, stop. Move in, stop. Pull out, track right, stop. Center in, pull back. Stop. Track 45 right. Stop. Center and stop. Enhance 34 to 36. Pan right and pull back. Stop. Enhance 34 to 46. Pull back. Wait a minute, go right, stop. Enhance 57 to 19. Track 45 left. Stop. Enhance 15 to 23. Give me a hard copy right there.
posted by flabdablet (snodgrass) at 8:10 AM on April 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've looked into this. The results:
* 819 - the number of unique contributors to this thread, so far.
* 838 - the most on a Metatalk thread: Get well soon, mathowie!
* 919 - the most on any subsite: Steve Jobs, RIP

Welp, time to register a few more sockpuppets.
posted by daniel_charms (staph) at 8:14 AM on April 20, 2012


sockpuppet account reporting for duty
posted by spockpuppet (simple machine) at 8:48 AM on April 20, 2012


I am my own sockpuppe
posted by TwelveTwo (waft) at 9:03 AM on April 20, 2012


puppe
posted by infini (stapler) at 9:05 AM on April 20, 2012


sockpuppy
posted by oneswellfoop (stodgy) at 11:48 AM on April 20, 2012


t.
posted by TwelveTwo (waft) at 11:52 AM on April 20, 2012


puppe
posted by adamvasco (staph) at 12:55 PM on April 20, 2012


At this late an hour, I believe it is time that we begin to discuss little known historical facts that aren't true:

* In the spring of 1783 young Napoléon Bonaparte, under the influence of ergot poisoning, tripped so hard that his spirit traveled 201 years into the future where he logged an entry onto erowid.org, where it still remain, categorized as a Bad Trip.

* 'Dungeons & Dragons' was originally to be titled 'Dungeons & Monsters & Treasure', or DMT for short. It was not until a brief romance with alliteration that Ernest Gygax renamed himself and the game, Gary Gygax, and Dungeons and Dragons. However, this was not all without protests from friends and family. Dave Arneson, in particular, wished that the game be called 'The Battle Tunnels of Sublackmoor'. Gary Gygax's father, the violinist Ernest Gygax, upset by his son's change of name, would not cease playing Shoenberg at the dinner table, despite the protestations of family members and neighbors.

* Irving Morrow's parents were killed by poets. During his work on the design of the Golden Gate Bridge he recognized the ease in which one might find rhymes to the words 'Golden', 'Gate', and 'Bridge', afraid his work would someday be to the benefit of poets, he petitioned that the color of the bridge be Orange, and that it be renamed "San Francisco-Marin Iron Orange Breadth." Fortunately, Leon Moisseiff countered the plan to rename by observing that technically the bridge would be made of steel. Defeated, Irving Morrow faded into the background, never again able to function as an architect. Decades later, diagnosed with a terminal illness, seeking long-wished for revenge, Irving Morrow successfully sabotaged Leon Moisseiff's Tacoma Narrows Bridge. The physics proved too complex for the jury to understand, and he was found not guilty on all charges.

* On July 20, 1969 we landed on the moon, but we did not land on our moon. In 2010, the division assigned to the study of the lunar dust brought back by the astronauts was disbanded. Due to the secrecy of the project it remains unknown whether or not the location of the moon had been identified prior to NASA budgetary cuts. However, in 2009 Michael Douglas Griffin, then NASA Administrator, reported to the media that they were making remarkable progress on a construction in space, when asked if it was a base on our moon, he smiled and said no. Since 2010, no one has seen Michael Douglas Griffin, or the scientists assigned to the study of the lunar dust brought back by Apollo 11. On November 8th, 2011 at 08:33 EST, a freelance journalist working for Gawker tweeted Buzz Aldrin asking him what he knew about the missing division of scientists, Mr. Aldrin tweeted in return: "Elon Musk." At 08:41 EST, the servers went down for maintenance, when Twitter returned at 09:12 EST, the tweets were missing. Later that week the journalist in question was arrested for stealing what was reported to be an iPhone5.
posted by TwelveTwo (st00pid) at 5:29 PM on April 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


Atlantic Timezone Go Boom
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight (stent) at 7:59 PM on April 20, 2012


Go on.
posted by TwelveTwo (sylvan learning center) at 8:27 PM on April 20, 2012


Eastern Timezone Go Boom
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight (stiff) at 9:04 PM on April 20, 2012


Hm! Now, don't let me stop you, finish your thoughts.
posted by TwelveTwo (stanky) at 9:26 PM on April 20, 2012


Central Timezone Go Boom
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight ( radio) at 10:00 PM on April 20, 2012


Speaking of Corgi on stilts, that reminds me of some more little known historical facts that aren't true.

* In the 1960s, Queen Elizabeth II took ownership of 16 corgi puppies. However, given the cultural mores at the time the comedic dog was mocked by the press. To maintain appearances the queen was forced to dress the dogs in regimental garb, however due to the economy at the time, only yellow and black fabrics were available. On the day of their debut, March 3rd 1961, the Queen was doubly embarrassed and roundly lampooned. Having only easy access to yellows and blacks, the poor dogs were dressed in royal navy ceremonial dress, and secondly, because of the excessive use in yellow in their costumes, the dogs looked more like bees than vice admirals. While all that is more than irrelevant now, the consequences are not. In one throw, the Queen gave birth to not one but two dog fashion trends: Dressing dogs in sailor outfits, and dressing them in bee outfits.

* Corgis are born with tails, but every sixth tail is possessed by the devil. Since Vatican 2 and the cut in exorcism budgets, it has become uneconomical to bless each and every Corgi. Instead, the tails are cut so the dogs may live a murder free life without worry or care.
posted by TwelveTwo (stupid) at 10:46 PM on April 20, 2012 [3 favorites]


posted by TwelveTwo (stoooooooooooooned)

Write some more, it was fascinating reading.
posted by infini (stoooooooooooooned) at 10:54 PM on April 20, 2012


TwelveTwo, it is my understanding that John Belushi's bee character was intended as an act of anti-Windsor japery, funded by a rump society of Roundheads. Can you illuminate this matter with further historical facts?
posted by mwhybark (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 11:26 PM on April 20, 2012


Mountain Timezone Go Boom (running late)
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight (stafu) at 11:27 PM on April 20, 2012


* Central Oregon's Deschutes River was named for French-Canadian pioneer and brewery founder Rene Deschutes, who died of complications from a ruptured stomach at the age of 39 after boasting to a rival barley baron that he "could drink the whole of the river".
posted by cortex (starvin') at 11:33 PM on April 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


Yo momma so fat I just checked into her on foursquare.
posted by special-k (starblazers) at 11:36 PM on April 20, 2012


Pacific Timezone Go PHOTOBOMB
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight (starburns) at 12:00 AM on April 21, 2012


Oliver North is testifying on TV as a sort of running background to everything.
posted by flabdablet (staffing solutions) at 6:54 AM on April 21, 2012


I'm really fucking disgusted that Rage is playing Robert Palmer.
posted by h00py (stadia) at 8:23 AM on April 21, 2012


And although I love the first You Am I cd with all of my heart, I think Tim Rogers is a fuckwit. With bad taste. And he sucks on stage too. Although he's now recommending Powderfinger who had some really good songs, you have to admit that. Some sucked but some are really good. Fuxk you Tim Rogers though?!
posted by h00py (naff) at 8:25 AM on April 21, 2012


* Corgis are born with tails, but every sixth tail is possessed by the devil.

I have no reason to disbelieve this claim, and on the other hand, plenty of reason to consider it totally understandable.
posted by ShutterBun (staffing solutions) at 8:39 AM on April 21, 2012


TwelveTwo, it is my understanding that John Belushi's bee character was intended as an act of anti-Windsor japery, funded by a rump society of Roundheads. Can you illuminate this matter with further historical facts?

The more fascinating element to that story is the origin of John Belushi himself.

* John Belushi was the imaginary friend of James Belushi. Constantly picked on by his siblings, James Belushi was never very happy as a child. This would all change. It was the Summer of 1962. Adam Belushi, their father, brought the children to visit his homeland. He had come from the village of Qytezë, a small community deep in Albania, north of the border to Greece, and famous for its traditional dish of dolma. A few days into their visit, sleeping at their grandparents home, young James Belushi was awoken by a voice. While James Belushi remains silent on the details, his father in a 1970s interview described the morning. Waking up to the smell of frying dolma, Adam Belushi noticed his son missing. He was not eating dolma, or in the village at all. His search turned frantic, and the village joined him. It was the afternoon when they finally discovered young James. He was sleeping beside a column of some forgotten temple. But here is where the story becomes interesting, Adam Belushi did not only find young James there, there was another boy there, an older boy. He introduced himself as John Belushi. When they returned to the village, the chief of the village eyed the child inspecting for the devil in him. Finding none evil but a soul of infinite age, the village elders declared the child to be one of the Bellios, their traditional name, and so the child was declared son of Adam Belushi. The following evening, James was teased by his sister Marian for unwrapping his dolma before eating its contents, but in a twist of history, the curious entity known as John Belushi interrupted her by doing the same as James, then proceeded to ask if she likes to sea food, and with her answer, showed his tongue at her. It would not be until the 80s that archaeologists would identify the temple as the lost Temple of Crius. During the first dig in 1982, a young graduate student by the name of Mary Frances damaged one of the buried statues in an attempt to excavate it. The beheaded, the statue was identified as the central statue of Crius. Panicked, the villagers ceased assisting the dig site. The following night, her daughter Merritt went missing. In the morning, the archaeologists were perplexed, and over coffee every option was considered, the question on their minds was not the missing child, but how did the head find itself back on the statue. There was no sign of the break. Mary Frances discovered her daughter by the columns above the dig, next to her was a child, he introduced himself as Zach. No one has since returned to the dig site.
posted by TwelveTwo (giraffed) at 8:50 AM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


* The first functioning artificial heart was originally tested in an elephant. For decades man knew how to build an artificial heart, but the smallest functioning model was three feet in diameter. But seeing as how elephants are so big, the scientists reasoned that an artificial heart could be implanted into an elephant without any need for miniaturization. They went to work immediately and the elephant which went by the name of Elton was given a fresh artificial heart, made of rubber, brass, and wood, it was capable of pumping . The elephant died at the Vienna Zoo at the age of 2. Elton's heart continued to beat for a full year after and so drew crowds and tourists from all around the globe. Elton was officially buried in 1871.
posted by TwelveTwo ( radio) at 9:21 AM on April 21, 2012


* Developed by the diaper industry in the 1950s, early tests of ShamWoW proved the substance to be capable of absorbing 100,000x its own weight in liquids. In early tests the material proved a viable weapon against Communism. In 1953 Lake Chihuahuan was successfully absorbed by the Marine Engineers and successfully wrung over the province of Gangwon. And so, the Korean War came to a close, but at the cost of the city Gangneung which washed into the sea, and came to rest off the coast of the Gyeongsangbuk-do province as the island of Ulleung. The Korean word for Bullshit.
posted by TwelveTwo (stack hat) at 9:32 AM on April 21, 2012


* Kelis's yard was actually a natural boy magnet in its own right. A canny business woman, she had identified the inherent value of the property on that basis, purchased the lot, and then leveraged the arrangement to market her milkshake to the local retail customer base. The sideline in continuing education programs in milkshake production were just icing on the cake.
posted by cortex (standardized test) at 9:39 AM on April 21, 2012


Somewhere, someone is using a machine learning algorithm and getting some totally crazy results.
posted by TwelveTwo (starburns) at 9:43 AM on April 21, 2012


I think I'm numb to everything but I'll put my clenched hand up your bottom and then try to find some kind of meaning to it whilst ejaculating and pushing ever onwards *Stinkfist - Tool, that really obvious song that I was somehow mostly oblivious to, up until about 30 minutes ago when I read the lyrics.
posted by h00py (stabilizer) at 9:47 AM on April 21, 2012


I mean I was oblivious to the whole fisting thing. I loved the song from the first time I heard it, oh so many years ago.
posted by h00py (cory doctorow) at 9:56 AM on April 21, 2012


* While the famous Formula 409 is known by all by its number, few know that earlier formulas were sold under popular brand names, many of which still on shelves today. Before settling on 409, Formula 408 was proven worthless in cleaning tests but similar enough to orange juice when mixed with water that it was packaged as Tang for young Americans. Formula 401 to 412 were sold as salad dressings. Formula 386 delighted children of all ages when the artificial life that grew from the experiment were sold as Sea-Monkeys. Classified by the state department, Formulas 340 to 385 are believed to be key ingredients for the incapacitating agent BZ, also known as Agent 15. As for Formulas 1, 2, and 3, they are your common condiments, Mustard, Ketchup, and Tabasco Sauce.
posted by TwelveTwo (stapler) at 9:59 AM on April 21, 2012


* Many Americans do not know that the forests of North America once stretched to the Sierra-Nevada. Few Americans know that the American Chestnut is haunted by the windigo. During strong wind storms, the trees would rattle and allow for the entry of the terrible wind spirit into the mortal lands. In 1816, as America encroached on the haunted forests, word returned to Washington that the frontiersmen were fallings to cannibalism, that unspeakable things were done to man by man. Then Secretary of State, James Monroe knew that this is what the Algonquins were warning of. Consulting with a neighboring tribe, James Monroe proved himself in a series of trials, promised the natives land once he became President, and in return was blessed with a hatchet that can banish the windigo to its shadow dimension. Easily winning the Presidency on promises of destroying the creature which threatens the sanity of mankind, James Monroe set out to visit the cities and town of America. Wherever he went, his hatchet went with him. Once the cursed American Chestnut was identified, he would take one, two, three chops, and the tree would fall, the settlers would awake from their spell, and rise up, cutting all the trees down. From town to town, James Monroe fought back the windigo spirit, and when he came across the continent's mother chestnut, he took one, two, three chops, and the effect spread across the country, killing the trees everywhere. Those chestnuts that grew again in the east were free of the curse, but there still remained a single chestnut from the mother tree that was undestroyed. It traveled west in time, and planted in a town called Sherwood, Oregon. But yet, no reports have been made that the terrifying tendrils of the beastly windigo spirit have returned, but time will tell if the west is safe from the windigo.
posted by TwelveTwo (stockholm syndrome) at 10:15 AM on April 21, 2012


* The NACA XXC-1 was the first ship to reach the edge of space. Due to a shortage of dogs in the country due to the Dog Flu scare of 1947 and subsequent Canine Eradication Act signed by Harry S. Truman, the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics was forced to use cats for test pilots. The NACA XXC-1 was originally designed to hold two Labrador Retrievers. The engineers compensated for the loss of weight by fitting the craft with the supplies necessary for twelve cats. Outfitted in their astronautic suits, the twelve cats were readied for flight in the summer of 1948. But then Harry S. Truman heard word of the project. He had never been alerted of the project due to his superstitious nature, and distrust of cats. He moved to cancel the launch. However, he was too late. The cats, fascinated by the instrument panel and wholly lacking in military discipline, initiated the launch. According to logs, the NACA XXC-1 orbited the earth twice before descending again, crash landing safely in the city of Wellington, New Zealand. The cats, so uniformed in tiny astronaut suits, were mistaken for aliens. In expectation of apocalypse, the city broke into hysterics, mass looting, and general hooliganism.
posted by TwelveTwo (studebaker) at 10:44 AM on April 21, 2012


* The University of Loughborough is notable for being the only university founded by a gorilla. Mistaking the gorilla’s grunts and mutterings for the accent of a Cambridge vice-chancellor, then councillor of the market town of Lougborough, William Carwright misunderstood the guttural noises as a proposal for the founding of a technical institute. Discovered later to be blind and mad from mercury poisoning, William Carwright was removed from office and replaced by popularly elected alderman Thomas Mayo. Since the charter had been signed, and the proposal proved popular with the citizenry, Thomas Mayo decided to complete the project he had inherited. In 1909 the university opened. The gorilla proved an effective chancellor of the university until his forced resignation in 1915. Groomed for the position, naturalist Dr. Herbert Schofield took over from the gorilla, and directed the university until 1950.
posted by TwelveTwo (staph) at 11:00 AM on April 21, 2012


worth repeating...

* The University of Loughborough is notable for being the only university founded by a gorilla. Mistaking the gorilla’s grunts and mutterings for the accent of a Cambridge vice-chancellor, then councillor of the market town of Lougborough, William Carwright misunderstood the guttural noises as a proposal for the founding of a technical institute. Discovered later to be blind and mad from mercury poisoning, William Carwright was removed from office and replaced by popularly elected alderman Thomas Mayo. Since the charter had been signed, and the proposal proved popular with the citizenry, Thomas Mayo decided to complete the project he had inherited. In 1909 the university opened. The gorilla proved an effective chancellor of the university until his forced resignation in 1915. Groomed for the position, naturalist Dr. Herbert Schofield took over from the gorilla, and directed the university until 1950.
posted by TwelveTwo (cory doctorow) at 11:00 AM on April 21 [+] [!]
posted by oneswellfoop (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 2:21 PM on April 21, 2012


* The Tom Jones single "Sex Bomb" is nothing more than a crude bowdlerization of a ditty written by Nazi soldiers during the occupation of Lapland. As the original lyric goes, a Finn named Jorma is attempting to hide from the invading horde by standing behind a tree; unfortunately, the tree is so narrow (or the Finn so fat; it is not made clear which) that it would take six to obscure him effectively. Thus the taunting refrain: "Sechs Bäume! Sechs Bäume! Jorma, sechs Bäume!" A scratchy 78-rpm recording of this version was purchased in Hamburg by George Harrison in 1960, and the tune became a regular part of the Beatles' setlist until the band was forced to drop all Nazi-penned songs as a condition of their contract for transatlantic superstardom. At the tail end of an otherwise unfruitful recording session in 1999, an exhausted Tom Jones was asked if he could think of anything else to record. Recalling a tune he had heard thirty-five years earlier, Jones hurriedly scribbled down a what seemed to be the lyrics he seemed to remember seeming to hear the Beatles seeming to sing, then tunelessly belted out these words over a generic dance beat. This proved to be a winning formula, as the song became an immediate smash hit.
posted by Sys Rq (stadia) at 2:34 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Funny, because Cory Doctorow is an integral actor in the most fiendish plots of all history, a conspiracy stretching west, east, north, and all remaining cardinal directions. But I cannot tell the tale, this epic secret history composed of facts that I made up will never be heard. Never to be communicated because there are such things as laws. Laws that prohibit defamation, calumny, vilification, traducement, slander, fraud, and libel. But once they are dead, or give me written permission, well, then I can tell the real false truth to my dishonest heart's content.
posted by TwelveTwo (stuff) at 2:35 PM on April 21, 2012


There are no frost giants; and as his is the only promise kept, I shall worship Odin.
posted by seanmpuckett (newborn calf) at 3:44 PM on April 21, 2012


defamation, calumny, vilification, traducement, slander, fraud, and libel

Sounds like excellent material for
(a) Reddit
(b) Breitbart
(c) Huffington Post
(d) Boing Boing
(e) Cracked
(f) nytimes.com
(g) Wikipedia
(h) all of the above (ANYWHERE but MetaFilter)
posted by oneswellfoop (gaffe) at 4:30 PM on April 21, 2012


In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed to sea. He told us of his life in the land of submarines. So we sailed on to the sun 'til we found a sea of green, and we lived beneath the waves in our yellow submarine. Our friends are all aboard. Many more of them live next door. And the band begins to play "We all live in a yellow submarine".
posted by oneswellfoop (sweeney toddler) at 4:35 PM on April 21, 2012


Originally „Der feige Unterseeboot“
posted by Sys Rq (simple machine) at 4:45 PM on April 21, 2012


SATURDAY NIGHT MeTa DANCE PARTY
posted by elizardbits (startled moose) at 5:01 PM on April 21, 2012


* The first dance party without live sacrifice occurred in the spring of 122 A.D. Dance parties prior to 122 A.D. commonly involved the sacrifice of non-dancing participants, or those whose dancing could be deemed equivalent to the absence of dancing. Blood of the sacrificed would be whisked into a foam by servants and rained upon the living. Few would regard a party without blood foam as a party at all. Cicero wrote, "to many a dance party is only perceived to be a a party until the blood foam of the few has descended from the servant floor and unto the dancing floor." While the decline of this proud human tradition would fill many books the turning point was in 122 A.D. When the first dance party without blood foam was recorded and popularly regarded as a true dance party and not merely an event involving dancing, or a party featuring dancing. Nevertheless many artifacts remain from these primitive days, inexplicable habits of western and eastern society carried passed down from our wilder history. For instance, the phrase "wall flower" remains in common use. The phrase originally refers to the torture device once used to extract blood for use as foam, but today means merely a non-participant, someone who in more primitive times would have been sacrificed for the sake of the party.
posted by TwelveTwo (stoopid) at 5:21 PM on April 21, 2012


Usavich (a series of short cartoons made for MTV Japan about two Russian rabbits in a Soviet Era prison...and then it gets weird)
posted by oneswellfoop (stacked) at 5:21 PM on April 21, 2012


* The first rabbit was born on a Thursday. In the 1700s economists fascinated by human population growth curves worked on a collective project to not only predict the population growth of mankind, but also to identify the date in which Adam and Eve begat it on. Due to the limitations of their time they had no reasonable or accurate census data on humans, few scholars were capable of any substantial conclusions. Dismayed, economists gave up on trying to predict human population, but one scholar did not: Jean-Michel Sauteur d'Chartreux. In a small monstary in the south of France, Saint Amant de Lapin Abbaye, famous for its sémillon vines and its written record of all rabbit births and deaths which they had been maintaining since 33 A.D. after a biblical passage was tragically misunderstood. Jean-Michel Sauteur d'Chartreux had followed the failures of others to calculate the holy birth date, and decided on a simpler task. He would calculate the day of the flood. Knowing about Saint Amant de Lapin Abbaye, he set forth from Paris to seek the assistance of the monks. Reasoning that rabbit procreation was more rational than man's, he set to work. Three years later, he sent letter to a correspondence in Tuscany, in the writing, he mocks the man for failing in his task to calculate the birthday of mankind, and boasts that through the generosity of rabbits he had identified all that he could not. Unfortunately, the work of Jean-Michel Sauteur d'Chartreux has all but been lost. A casualty of the French Revolution. Of what we have are only notes pertaining to the calculations of the day of the week, and his letters writing home complaining about the occitan dialect. In these calculations, however, while missing many of the variables necessary to reconstruct his work, his conclusion read as clear as if it were written today: Bien sûr, le premier lapin est né un jeudi. Les moines étaient corrects. Le jeudi est le plus rationnel de jours, le premier jour il ne faut pas manger un lapin. Quelle erreur mon mentor était en prétendant - Naturally, he wrote, the first rabbit was born on a Thursday.
posted by TwelveTwo ('struth) at 5:54 PM on April 21, 2012


On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison. Several years earlier, Madison's wife had thrown HIM out, requesting that HE never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
posted by oneswellfoop ( radio) at 6:42 PM on April 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Okay, resume dancing!
posted by oneswellfoop (stupid) at 7:59 PM on April 21, 2012


* The Mallard is the only surviving species of aquatic bird that has never successfully killed a human. This is surprising only in light of the great number of European kings that have been killed by Loons, Geese, Swans and Coots.
posted by TwelveTwo (stella) at 8:06 PM on April 21, 2012


DUCK
posted by flabdablet (st00pid) at 8:46 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


However, Leonard Nimoy's second child Nathan, at age two, was held hostage for more than a month by a pair of terns, six puffins and a teal.
posted by Devils Rancher (stamos potential) at 8:47 PM on April 21, 2012


*
Some people call me the space cowboy.
Yeah! Some call me the gangster of love.
Some people call me Maurice,
'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love.
The phrases "space cowboy", "gangster of love" and "Maurice" are all references to previous [Steve] Miller songs. The "pompatus" line is also a reference to an earlier song of his, "Enter Maurice", which was recorded the previous year:

My dearest darling, come closer to Maurice
so I can whisper sweet words of epismetology
in your ear and speak to you of the pompatus of love.
Although Miller claims he invented the words "epismetology" (metathesis of epistemology) and "pompatus", all of his song-writing demonstrates strong rhythm and blues influences, and a 1954 song called "The Letter" by the Medallions had the lines:
Oh my darling, let me whisper
sweet words of pizmotality
and discuss the puppetutes of love.
The song was composed by Vernon Green as a description of his dream woman. "Pizmotality described words of such secrecy that they could only be spoken to the one you loved", Green explained. He coined the term puppetutes "to mean a secret paper-doll fantasy figure who would be my everything and bear my children".
posted by not_on_display (stand and deliver) at 9:31 PM on April 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


I got nothing.
posted by arcticseal (esteban) at 10:05 PM on April 21, 2012


Hail, April showers and the sprinkles of fairy dust that turn Bottoms into dreamers
posted by infini (stef) at 10:05 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


It began in the future. A scientist turning to evil, a time machine called TRAX, criminals who vanish and a lawman with a mission. He has one weapon and a computer named SELMA. With them he will travel to a time more innocent than his own. Now he is among us. A special breed of man, a hunter, traveling through our world searching for fugitives from his own, knowing he can not go home until he has found them all. His name is Darien Lambert and this is his story.
posted by oneswellfoop (snodgrass) at 10:33 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]



However, Leonard Nimoy's second child Nathan, at age two, was held hostage for more than a month by a pair of terns, six puffins and a teal.

Relating the story at dinner, a young Michael Bay was inspired to make action films. Because, his cousin, Susan Bay, is the wife of Star Trek actor Leonard Nimoy and they frequently shared family dinners together. No freakin asterisk at the front of this post, no sir, true as an arrow: Michael Bay and Leonard Nimoy are related, I'm not making nothing up. But I can keep going: Nicolas Cage is the son of August Coppola, the creator of the famous Tactile Dome in the San Francisco Exploratorium, and August Coppola was brother to director Francis Ford Coppola, who in turn is the father of Sofia Coppola, who is named after this can of wine I am drinking, can of wine, how is this possible, a can of wine, what a world we live in, wottaworld wottaworld!
posted by TwelveTwo (hurf durf butter staffer) at 12:07 AM on April 22, 2012


Sauteur d'Chartreux

au Lapin Agile.

I was laughing so hard, keep it up!
posted by mwhybark (sweeney toddler) at 12:21 AM on April 22, 2012


RABBIT
posted by flabdablet (stamp out litter) at 9:43 AM on April 22, 2012


* The Phonautograph, precursor to the gramophone, was originally invented to alleviate stress on court stenographers. At a hearing regarding his printing practices, Édouard-Léon Scott de Martinville publicly mocked the mustaches of the court, identifying their mustaches as effeminate and proof of poor virility. To his surprise, the stress placed on the forearm by verbatim shorthand writing proved identical to the exercise routine of a trained boxer, and with one quick jab the court stenographer knocked him down for the count. Infuriated by the unnatural arm strength of stenographers, he began work on a machine which would replace them. The phonautograph picked up the vibrations of sound and translated them to the motion of a stylus, and by so doing, draw the shape of the sound. Unfamiliar with what shorthand was he enthusiastically misunderstood his device's output as shorthand. Proud of his invention, he offered a bet to the stenographer that had bested him. He bet that his machine could not only maintain pace with an auctioneer, but do so longer than he could. They shook hands. Soon, all of Paris heard word of this mighty event and the Paris auction house was packed with interest. With a blast of a pistol, the auctioneer began reading. A famous pervert, the auctioneer hastily read from Les Liaisons Dangereuses, assuming the voices for each letter in turn. By the second hour, many had fainted, the stenographer kept his stride, and the phonautograph squeaked along. By the third hour, the stenographer broke a sweat, in dire need of oil the phonoautograph screeched with the sound of metal. The auctioneer, finishing the text, took a sip of wine, and began again. The stenographer collapsed in the fifth hour. A bell was sound. In absolute silence, the auctioneer strode to Édouard-Léon, gripped his hand, threw it to the air and so announced him the winner. The audience exploded into cheers, cheers which echoed throughout all of Paris, setting dogs off for miles around. Women surrounded Édouard-Léon with compliments on his virile mustache, champagne was opened. In the excitement no one saw that the stenographer gathered himself, stumbled to the phonautograph, and gripped a sheet, his career ruined, he squinted, scribbles, he threw a sheet aside, took another, scribbles, threw it, another, and another, his palms black with ink and sweat, he gripped another, scribbles. Faint, the stenographer grabbed the coat of the auctioneer, and with the last of his energy the man shouted, he shouted so loud as to silence the crowds, the chatter, the dogs, he silenced all of france and he shouted only one word, he shouted: scribbles. With no more life in him he fell to the ground papers clutched in his mighty hands, dead. The auctioneer looked, demanded an explanation from Édouard-Léon, and he answered with an excuse destined to be so famous that french students still use it today in defense of their notebooks, he said to the auctioneer: "Obviously, it must be you who speaks illegibly." With a swift jab, Édouard-Léon Scott de Martinville spent the rest of his days trying to create a machine to replace auctioneers.
posted by TwelveTwo (graph) at 10:07 AM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


* The Welsh Language was originally devised as a way to frustrate the English. Owain Gwynedd ap Gruffydd, King of Gwynedd, his original name now long forgotten, became frustrated at a dinner with King Henry II of England when King Henry II would not summon his servants. King of Gwynedd requested politely that the salt be passed down. King Henry II ignored the request, wishing instead to finish telling the Welsh king more stories from his childhood. The Welsh King repeated the request again, and again, after half an hour had passed, King Henry II summoned his servants. However, he mistakenly passed the pepper down the table. Irritated by King Henry II, King Owain proceeded to speak gibberish at King Henry II. When asked to speak properly, the King of Wales claimed it as his own native language. Smiling, he was able to frustrate the king's demand for compliments for the remainder of the dinner. Irritated, the King of England sent agents to the home of the King of Wales. He sought proof that the King of Wales was mocking him with a mock language. Owain Gwynedd ap Gruffydd had always been a clever man, and was able to convince his entire court to speak similarly non-sensibly. Taking pride in the prank, he even devised a new written language, and as the King of England became more intent on revealing the King of Wales as a prankster, the King of Wales become more amused and engaged in the prank. To allow business to operate as usual, the King of Wales secretly disseminated texts explaining how to keep up the joke and provided formulae for restructuring personal and town names to be impenetrably "Welsh". It was the Christmas Letter that the King of Wales sent to the King of England that sent King Henry II over the edge. Infuriated by the mad spelling in the letter, he invaded Wales in the year 1157. The prank had been going on for three years, and all road signs had been rewritten. Confused and lost by the signage his army marched on Glasglow, and in 1158 the army found their way, ultimately defeating the army of the King of Wales. At sword point, the Owain Gwynedd ap Gruffydd complied with King Henry II, admitting that it was all a joke. However, this changed nothing, for when King Henry II would later point this out publicly, his advisers, not believing Henry II's claim, recommended him not to tell such jokes, they were in poor taste. Nevertheless, Henry II insisted, the Welsh just made it up to mock him. For generations to follow, English bards would mock King Henry II for his paranoid delusions regarding the Welsh.
posted by TwelveTwo (stopped) at 10:44 AM on April 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


I've decided to start a tumblr.
posted by TwelveTwo (stagger lee) at 11:59 AM on April 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Is the "follow" thingie on tumblr blocked or just my screen?
posted by infini (staffing solutions) at 12:01 PM on April 22, 2012


Oh, I don't know. I am new at this.
posted by TwelveTwo (stuffing) at 12:05 PM on April 22, 2012


*sigh*

*clicks again*
posted by infini (behalf) at 12:10 PM on April 22, 2012


I think maybe now?
posted by TwelveTwo (sunday sunday SUNDAY) at 12:12 PM on April 22, 2012


Joo it worked.
posted by infini (stockholm syndrome) at 12:20 PM on April 22, 2012


* There are over 300 types of lettuce that grow naturally in the wild; of these, 98% are poisonous. Rabbits, however, have evolved an immunity to the lettuces' poisons, and instead experience otherworldly states of euphoria when ingesting wild lettuce.
posted by not_on_display (stamps.com) at 12:55 PM on April 22, 2012


* The word "Michigan" is derived from the Iriquois word for "mitten"
posted by not_on_display (mood) at 12:57 PM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


* The word "Michigan" is derived from the Iriquois word for "mitten"

I always had a suspicion.
posted by TwelveTwo (stafu) at 1:01 PM on April 22, 2012


That's a common reaction. And an old one. In fact, the word "suspicion" is a corruption of the Iriquois word for that specific feeling, which roughly transliterates as "suspichigan".
posted by cortex (taffy) at 2:11 PM on April 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


* While "Detroit" comes from the same Latin root as "detritus".
posted by oneswellfoop (stars in your eyes) at 4:31 PM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


* The word "cortex" is directly derived from the Latin, cortex, meaning "one who wears togas with funny maxims woven into the fabric."
posted by not_on_display (shillelagh) at 4:59 PM on April 22, 2012


* And the phrase "one swell foop" is derived from the German "ündërsvëlläfüpër", meaning "that guy who does the practical joke with the ketchup packet and the straw".
posted by oneswellfoop (stack hat) at 5:53 PM on April 22, 2012


"Now you’re just some Bobby that I used to know."
posted by oneswellfoop (stack hat) at 11:03 PM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oneswellfoop, that's a great idea for when the red sox inevitably fire Valentine.
posted by Ghidorah (hairway to steven) at 11:19 PM on April 22, 2012


...could also apply to Bobby Darin, Bobby Brown, Bobby Fischer and Bobby Flay. But none of them would look as funny painted over like that.
posted by oneswellfoop (stephen hawking) at 12:03 AM on April 23, 2012


My dog has no-nos.
posted by flabdablet (chaff) at 10:01 AM on April 23, 2012


There's a nap for that.
posted by zarq (stoopid) at 10:05 AM on April 23, 2012 [3 favorites]


REAG


rolls eyes and groans
posted by infini (stack exchange) at 11:45 AM on April 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


REAG


rolls eyes and groans
posted by i (cory doctorow)
posted by infini (zach braf) at 11:45 AM on April 23, 2012


For all intensive porpoises this thread should just about be done.
posted by Sailormom (steppenwolf) at 5:39 PM on April 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


* The porpoise has no purpose.
posted by TwelveTwo (stalin) at 12:08 AM on April 24, 2012


Does that make it o-fish-al?
yes, I know porpoises are mammals, now go away
posted by oneswellfoop (stet) at 11:04 AM on April 24, 2012


I find it very odd, and somewhat disconcerting, that some animals have a single nostril that comes out of the top of their head, even if they are all sea mammals.
posted by jabberjaw (stars in your eyes) at 11:47 AM on April 24, 2012


Well, I guess that's much less odd and disconcerting, as I imagine humans with a giant back-nostril instead of humans with a giant head-nostril.

In Spanish, the nose is called las narices, which translates to "the nostrils," indicating that the nose is not a singular organ, but two separate ones combined.
posted by jabberjaw (esteban) at 12:30 PM on April 24, 2012


Then my noses are stuffed.
posted by TwelveTwo (stamp out litter) at 12:36 PM on April 24, 2012


DO WHALES SNEEZE? DOES ANYONE HAVE A VIDEO? THIS IS URGENT
posted by TwelveTwo (hurf durf butter staffer) at 12:37 PM on April 24, 2012


Holy crap, Axe Cop is coming to TV.
posted by jabberjaw (calved) at 12:53 PM on April 24, 2012


Of course, a bunch of 5 year olds will probably be better than the writers than most other Fox shows.
posted by jabberjaw (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 12:55 PM on April 24, 2012


Yes, but can they defeat a legion of armed Roman soldiers, if transported back in time and given modern weapons?
posted by not_on_display (graft) at 2:47 PM on April 24, 2012


Burhanistan: And the neat thing is that you could totally cut a hole in your back and run some tubing from it to your primary bronchea and then pretend that you're a whale.

Oddly enough, this is exactly how the human centipede concept started out.
posted by misha (starter) at 4:06 PM on April 24, 2012


Yes, but can they defeat a legion of armed Roman soldiers, if transported back in time and given modern weapons?

DAY 1: Mrs. Hansen's kindergarten class is outside playing during recess. The bell rings, signalling the end of recess. Suddenly, the class vanishes.

The playground full swings, a couple of seesaws, a backstop and a foursquare court suddenly reappears in a field outside Rome, on the west bank of the Tiber River. Without substantially prepared ground under it, the blacktop and concrete begins sinking into the marshy ground and cracking.

Jared starts crying first. Bella tells everybody to duck and cover, believing the class is trapped in an earthquake.

Pretty soon everybody starts crying. A few have wet themselves. Bella now believes something more terrible has occurred -- she and her classmates maybe teleported like the Autobots did in that Transformers movie. Only a few kids have realized that the rest of Andrew Jackson Elementary School has vanished, but that will soon become apparent when that one kid, Mason, who has an iPhone, tries calling his mommie, to no avail.

Within an hour, the kids are all disoriented. Some are still crying. Others are playing in the mud. The playground is not the only modern thing transported to Rome, though; with them are the entire inventory of the 35th Marine Expedition Unit: guns, tanks, helicopters and rations.

Bella looks at her best friend, Maddy. With grim determination in their eyes, they understand what must be done. Maddy pulls a belt of .50 caliber bullets over her shoulder as she starts fumbling with an M-4. Bella puts on a shoulder-holster, pulls out the .45 caliber pistol, releases the clip to make sure it is full before pushing it back in and chambering the first round. Bella and Maddy look at each other in the eye.

"Lock and load. Let's take out a whole legion of Roman motherfuckers."

Bella turns to her classmates. There are 21 of them altogether. "Who's in?" she shouts.

Logan has already crawled into a helicopter, flipping a few switches to activate the control panel. He sees the fuel gauge is full, but the GPS isn't tracking for shit. He pulls oversized aviators over his eyes. "I'm in, sweetheart."
posted by jabberjaw (riffraff) at 5:03 PM on April 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


Oh, those naughty Canadians...
posted by oneswellfoop (start) at 5:20 PM on April 24, 2012


DAY 41: Bella stands amid a field of fallen soldiers, a long scar running across her chin where a javelin had made a close call. She pulls the cigar she found in her flack jacket pocket up to her lips, puffing, the orange embers mirroring the sun setting in the distance. The humvee stops next to her, rolling over the bones of dead soldiers, the door opening.

Jared, the crybaby, had come to his own; he was wearing a legionnaire's helmet that was still crusted with the blood of the valiant soldier who had died in it, Jared's first kill, weeks earlier. He carefully climbs down from the vehicle, as the distance from the ground is almost as tall as him. Jared glances up to Jasmine who was manning the .50 caliber gun on top of the vehicle, and gives her a thumbs up.

"Fuckin' A!" shouts Jasmine from above, brandishing her ka-bar knife like a sword.

Bella puts her foot on the Centurion lying dead next to her, and leans her elbow on her knee. Ethan, carrying the radio, hands the headset to Bella. "Status, Maddy? Over."

"All quiet on the western front. Repeat, all quiet on the western front. Over."

"Copy. Logan, are you on?"

The whir from the helicopter is relatively silent, but Logan shouts into the mic anyways. "Dustin' a few creepers tryin' ta get away!" Machine gun sounds in spurts.

"Save your ammo, and get your butt back on the ground. It's getting dark."

Bella's classmates gradually gather around her. She surveys the group of little hardened warriors, some of whom barely knew how to tie their shoes, but goddamn could they shoot a machine gun.

Bella grins, admiring the destruction they had wrought, and thinks, A bunch of 5-year olds with modern weapons fighting a Roman army is awesome.
posted by jabberjaw (president taft) at 6:21 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


at least we got something past day 7.
posted by mwhybark (standup comedian) at 9:51 PM on April 24, 2012


On the seventh day shit was awesome
posted by TwelveTwo (stable boy) at 10:12 PM on April 24, 2012


My seventh shit today was not so awesome.
posted by h00py (stoned) at 6:35 AM on April 25, 2012


My seventh shit today was not so awesome.
posted by h00py (stupid) at 12:35 AM on April 26 [+] [!]

Awesome!
posted by h00py (graft) at 6:36 AM on April 25, 2012


DAY 7: The few skirmishes the days before didn't count. Today they face an army which spans wider and deeper than the class of 5-year olds could imagine.

General Septimus Publius marches with his men across the battlefield. It was a good day to battle with the menacing little demons that had been unleashing thunder, lightning and fire on his troops. "Let us see how they fare against an entire Legion," he smirks. Septimus is not known for his lack of hubris. 6,000 soldiers marching, a fast-moving cavalry of 300 men at its head.

The sun is low yet, still rising, but the wind is crisp and the clouds sparse. His men are well-fed on the stores of the little villages nearby, and they are eager for battle against what truly seemed to be mystical creatures. But he knows, a secret kept to himself and the highest ranking cadre, that they were only children; they had captured one of the wily things from the gullet of a disabled giant metal war wagon, who had simply bawled in some demon language, "Mommy, mommy!" Septimus could guess what it meant.

Then he hears thunder in the distance. An advance group of men on horseback return to him now, less one rider. He calls his bannermen to stop the marching. "The moment of reckoning has come," Septimus thinks to himself.

And then in a flash of light, and Septimus was disintegrated.

Although not listed among the typical stores of the MEU, half a dozen tactical nuclear weapons were among its stock. Jenna had come up with the idea of tricking the soldiers into a trap. None of the 5-year-olds could really comprehend the power of the tactical nukes, so they stayed miles away from them after they had laid them the afternoon before. They had rigged some "fireworks" to warn them when the Legion was in place.

Bella feels the first flash of light, like lightning from a distant storm. Then a second. "That shit is awesome," she mouths, not sure if she made any sound. The sound of the explosions is intense, but the class of children all are shielded in vehicles and wearing earplugs and mufflers. Besides, they are used to the sounds of explosions by now. She would ask Mason to fly his chopper over the detonation area around noon to see what had happened; even if any Roman soldier survived, she doubted they would continue their march.

At least, not today.
posted by jabberjaw (stet) at 8:10 AM on April 25, 2012


wait a sec...Bella sounds like an Italian name. Lucky she doesn't just blink out of existence in an explosion of timey wimey stuff.
posted by juv3nal (farts) at 12:08 PM on April 25, 2012


Fortunately, no. Her parents, however, were Twilight fans. Also, this:

2007 Popular Baby Names:

Female Names
1. Emily
2. Isabella
3. Emma
4. Ava
5. Madison

Male Names:
1. Jacob
2. Michael
3. Ethan
4. Joshua
5. Daniel
posted by jabberjaw (snodgrass) at 12:31 PM on April 25, 2012


He's just playing guess who?
posted by arcticseal (stoat) at 5:08 PM on April 25, 2012


If you're playing Guess Who, I'd like to hear "No Sugar Tonight"
posted by oneswellfoop (behalf) at 12:04 AM on April 26, 2012


You just bought yourself another Saturday, Burhanistan.
posted by jabberjaw (stuff) at 7:38 AM on April 26, 2012


Late to the party...
posted by bluefly (stent) at 7:54 AM on April 26, 2012


Now when you say "John Hughes' movies", do you mean only the ones he directed? Or also ones he wrote? I don't feel particularly compelled to defend any of the movies he directed (although I disagree with you) but are you also saying that Home Alone and National Lampoon's Vacation/Christmas Vacation are awful?
posted by SpiffyRob (sartori) at 8:41 AM on April 26, 2012


I'm not going to defend Say Anything, but 1980's John Cusack was a role model. Mostly for Better Off Dead. Savage Steve Holland, the answer to John Hughes.

By the way, most, nay, all Cameron Crowe stuff is schlock.
posted by jabberjaw (hurf durf butter staffer) at 9:04 AM on April 26, 2012


Fast Times at Ridgemont High is at least very entertaining schlock.
posted by SpiffyRob (stamos potential) at 9:22 AM on April 26, 2012


SIXTEEN CANDLES 4 LYFE
posted by cortex (soup to nuts) at 9:41 AM on April 26, 2012


Still, compare all those "80s Movies" directors to today's crop, the Class of Michael Bay. Okay, Josh Whedon is cool, but his 'style' might age as badly as Hughes' has in a couple decades unless he brings something really unique to "Avengers". Tim Burton is the only seeming survivor of that era, and he's... well...
posted by oneswellfoop (stet) at 10:36 AM on April 26, 2012


And another Saturday. Instead of going to prison, you'll come here, Burhanistan.
posted by jabberjaw (stanky) at 11:00 AM on April 26, 2012


Saturdays are overrated.
posted by oneswellfoop (stefi graf) at 11:07 AM on April 26, 2012


It's Mondays I don't like.
posted by arcticseal (stilettos) at 11:41 AM on April 26, 2012


Well, hold on then, because tomorrow's Friday (what? you think I linked to THAT video?)
posted by oneswellfoop (stasi) at 12:10 PM on April 26, 2012


I have a cure for your Thursday.
posted by arcticseal (steve-o) at 12:21 PM on April 26, 2012


Just another manic Monday. I don't like Mondays.
posted by jabberjaw (stoopid) at 12:22 PM on April 26, 2012


Let's not forget Wednesday. Or Wednesday. Or Wednesday. Or Wednesday. Or Wednesday.
posted by oneswellfoop (naff) at 12:59 PM on April 26, 2012


Sunday morning? Sunday morning coming down.
posted by jabberjaw (mood) at 1:07 PM on April 26, 2012


More Wednesday! Wednesday! Wednesday!
posted by oneswellfoop (stooped) at 1:16 PM on April 26, 2012


I suppose Tuesdays gone?
posted by Sailormom (horse ebooks) at 3:06 PM on April 26, 2012


Nope, we're easy.
posted by arcticseal (shillelagh) at 3:54 PM on April 26, 2012


And we're groovin.
posted by jabberjaw (mood) at 4:41 PM on April 26, 2012


Tuesday!!!

Tuesday!!!
posted by oneswellfoop (raff scaff) at 4:55 PM on April 26, 2012


Thorsday.
posted by arcticseal (stats) at 10:13 PM on April 26, 2012


okay, we can close the thread now.
posted by oneswellfoop (stamp out litter) at 10:55 PM on April 26, 2012


i aill miss iuiuu thasd this thread id mu gsborite oh u lovr uu thrreadd i hug if i cpuld tressdad fick hyy did i torb off autoborrecy on mu piphone o wil moss iuiuu you fyheead theread do k
posted by TwelveTwo (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 11:02 PM on April 26, 2012


that's easy for you to say...

hey, remember when that was the standard comeback instead of "That's what she said"?
posted by oneswellfoop (stamos potential) at 11:37 PM on April 26, 2012


For goodness sake, don't type "Zerg Rush" into Google right now.

Unless you want to waste a lot of time.
posted by jabberjaw (winner) at 8:35 AM on April 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


It is like a reenactment of what I felt happened to Valencia street.
posted by TwelveTwo (studmuffin) at 10:39 AM on April 27, 2012


Zerg Rush? Is that a Limbaugh joke?
posted by oneswellfoop (stodgy) at 12:04 PM on April 27, 2012


See: Starcraft
posted by zarq (stars in your eyes) at 12:23 PM on April 27, 2012


Dear God, don't play Pacman in Google either!
posted by jabberjaw (stack exchange) at 1:06 PM on April 27, 2012


so should that be called Zarq Rush?
posted by oneswellfoop (cory doctorow) at 1:09 PM on April 27, 2012


And, for the love of all that is holy, don't google "do a barrel roll"1!!
posted by jabberjaw (staring contest) at 1:13 PM on April 27, 2012


oneswellfoop: "so should that be called Zarq Rush?"

Perhaps after I create a post chronicling the history of this song. ;)
posted by zarq (puff daddy) at 8:58 PM on April 27, 2012


Ah, "the sounds of salesman". There isn't a human being who ever worked at a commercial radio station in any capacity who does not want to yell "F&@* Yeah!!" after that line...
posted by oneswellfoop (stats) at 9:29 PM on April 27, 2012


Anybody figure out how many unique Mod titles there are?
posted by jabberjaw (giraffed) at 11:34 PM on April 27, 2012


Enough.
posted by arcticseal (staph) at 11:47 PM on April 27, 2012


Never!!
posted by Skygazer (calved) at 12:46 AM on April 28, 2012


I'm going to need a form 5f for that.
posted by arcticseal (shillelagh) at 10:27 AM on April 28, 2012


Mickey Mouse was a Pluto-crat.

(but definitely not a Pluto-cat)
posted by oneswellfoop (staphylococcus) at 12:12 PM on April 28, 2012


Okay, so, what was Goofy, exactly?
posted by Sys Rq (staves) at 12:13 PM on April 28, 2012


Pluto-cat, that's a redundant term. All cats are from pluto.
posted by TwelveTwo (gaffe) at 12:18 PM on April 28, 2012


Pluto is no longer considered a planet.
posted by Skygazer (giraffed) at 12:33 PM on April 28, 2012


Cats are no longer considered aliens, but natives of earth! See how everything works out, as if, as if everything were planned by the Cat Council of Pluto.
posted by TwelveTwo (standup comedian) at 12:47 PM on April 28, 2012


Maybe the cats were on Pluto (the dwarf planet) because they were chased there by Pluto (the Disney dog). So where does Bluto fit in all this?
posted by oneswellfoop (giraffed) at 12:57 PM on April 28, 2012


Pledge master Bluto?
posted by TwelveTwo (steppenwolf) at 1:37 PM on April 28, 2012


And another Saturday.
posted by oneswellfoop (stiff) at 3:40 PM on April 28, 2012


Goofy was a dog, as was Pluto. Was it weird that Mickey had a dog for a pet and a best friend? Why was Goofy more sentient than Pluto?
posted by owls (stabilizer) at 5:37 PM on April 28, 2012


because it's a cartoon, you can do anything you want, regardless of logic, in a cartoon. kind of like zombo.com or the GOP.

besides, Walt Disney had tried Horace Horsecollar as a 'tall-guy' sidekick for Mickey and Donald and he tested very badly, so he was running out of popular domestic animal species.
posted by oneswellfoop (staphylococcus) at 5:47 PM on April 28, 2012


Disney was obviously reluctant with Goofy; Walt didn't name him right away, considered 'Dippy Dog'.
posted by oneswellfoop (starter) at 5:58 PM on April 28, 2012


Why do I know that but can't remember the name of the neighbor 3 doors away?
posted by oneswellfoop (staphylococcus) at 5:59 PM on April 28, 2012


Electricity comes from other planets.
posted by Sailormom (standardized test) at 4:35 AM on April 29, 2012


Other planets are spooky.
posted by Skygazer (starfish kisses) at 5:55 AM on April 29, 2012


Spooky wears a derby.
posted by flabdablet (staffing solutions) at 5:59 AM on April 29, 2012


Derby!
posted by h00py (stanley kubrick) at 6:11 AM on April 29, 2012


Doobie!
posted by flabdablet (stiff) at 6:18 AM on April 29, 2012


More like Blecch Water, amirite?
posted by oneswellfoop (stockholm syndrome) at 8:54 PM on April 29, 2012


Speaking of the Doobie Brothers, just the other day, their song "China Grove" was played on GreatBigRadio and, while listening, I noticed for the first time the line: "the sheriff and his buddies with their samurai swords" and thought "SAMURAI? Isn't that Japanese? What's that doing in CHINA Grove?" And I realized I had gone over 38 years since the record came out and I just noticed it NOW...

The next time I act like I'm pretty damn smart, please remind me of that.
posted by oneswellfoop (stephen hawking) at 9:03 PM on April 29, 2012


ok
posted by Danila (puff daddy) at 11:33 PM on April 29, 2012


Commenting just to get a title, alas.
posted by KathrynT (gaffe) at 11:33 PM on April 29, 2012


Everybody needs a title.
posted by CrystalDave (newborn calf) at 11:40 PM on April 29, 2012


Here to find out who I am!
posted by ichomp (stamen) at 11:49 PM on April 29, 2012


chortle
posted by MillMan (snodgrass) at 11:50 PM on April 29, 2012


Que sera sera.
posted by Monsieur Caution (staves) at 11:51 PM on April 29, 2012


So, I can haz two staff tags?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts (startled moose) at 11:52 PM on April 29, 2012


Last!!

Oh, its still 29th for you guys...
posted by infini (karen carpenter) at 11:58 PM on April 29, 2012


Last!!

Oh, its still 29th for you guys...
posted by infini (winner)
posted by infini (stable boy) at 11:59 PM on April 29, 2012


Heh. Sorry.
posted by iamkimiam (stadia) at 12:06 AM on April 30, 2012


Late to the party.
posted by kitty teeth (puff daddy) at 12:08 AM on April 30, 2012


better late than never, Smithers, or whoever you are these days!
posted by iamkimiam (SHAFT) at 12:11 AM on April 30, 2012


What do I win? (I never win these things!)
posted by iamkimiam (stamp out litter) at 12:11 AM on April 30, 2012


Heh. I just realised that I need to be here for the next 2 (or 3) hours, if I *really* want to win.

(But I kind of want to!)
posted by iamkimiam (riffraff) at 12:13 AM on April 30, 2012


What was I doing on April 1st? Probably hiding under the bed like all the chronically gullible.

Anyway, I had to peek...
posted by Grangousier (stan the potato man) at 12:15 AM on April 30, 2012


Oh, sorry, Kim...

(I'm getting in the way again.)
posted by Grangousier (smithers) at 12:17 AM on April 30, 2012


So, what did I get?
posted by vidur (pfaff) at 12:20 AM on April 30, 2012


WTF Matt?
posted by Wilder (step) at 12:21 AM on April 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's 2012 and we're still doing this??
posted by zachlipton (snuffleuppagus) at 12:23 AM on April 30, 2012


Er, it's April 30 and we're still doing this?? :-)
posted by zachlipton (stalwart) at 12:24 AM on April 30, 2012


MetaFilter posts remain open for 30 days. April has 30 days. Coincidence? I think... uh, maybe.
posted by oneswellfoop (stanley kubrick) at 12:25 AM on April 30, 2012


Its Wappu!!
posted by infini (stadia) at 12:31 AM on April 30, 2012


Beltane
posted by adamvasco (stoopid) at 12:54 AM on April 30, 2012


Gee whiz!
posted by Anitanola (star trek) at 1:00 AM on April 30, 2012


Do I really want to know?
posted by clearly (startled moose) at 1:07 AM on April 30, 2012


totally missed this.
posted by coriolisdave (starburns) at 1:31 AM on April 30, 2012


who am i
posted by PinkMoose (stavrosthewonderchitlin) at 1:34 AM on April 30, 2012


PinkMoose: "who am i" [st00pid]

Ha-ha!!
posted by barnacles (stalwart) at 1:38 AM on April 30, 2012


dumb ass
will
learn
posted by Snyder (steve-o) at 1:42 AM on April 30, 2012


I was working the Wireless & Multimedia phone queue in Applecare, back on the April 1st that MetaFilter did the whole color-cycling thing. Sadly, I didn't get any calls about it. (Or any other website's antics.)
posted by Kalthare (sterling) at 1:48 AM on April 30, 2012


The fish is taken.
posted by adamvasco (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 1:50 AM on April 30, 2012


no soap, radio.
posted by mephron (stephen hawking) at 1:58 AM on April 30, 2012


Bravo!
posted by StrikeTheViol (start) at 2:01 AM on April 30, 2012


Hooray!
posted by StrikeTheViol (staffing solutions) at 2:02 AM on April 30, 2012


Yippee!
posted by StrikeTheViol (studmuffin) at 2:02 AM on April 30, 2012


Huzzah!
posted by StrikeTheViol (stable boy) at 2:03 AM on April 30, 2012


Huh?
posted by alltomorrowsparties (stats) at 2:14 AM on April 30, 2012


And it was...
posted by alltomorrowsparties (stabbatical) at 2:14 AM on April 30, 2012


interrobang?!
posted by duende (karen carpenter) at 2:15 AM on April 30, 2012


Ok so
posted by tractorfeed (stack o toads) at 2:29 AM on April 30, 2012


Wakka wakka?
posted by Wylla (graph) at 2:34 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm just watching the parade go by, but then I see something like...

Wakka wakka?
posted by Wylla (fapfapfap)
posted by oneswellfoop ( radio) at 2:37 AM on April 30, 2012


Hopscotch on a bonnet with croutons. Severely delightful, titles. Aren't they?
posted by 0127661 (stack exchange) at 3:03 AM on April 30, 2012


Indeed.
posted by arianell (stooped) at 3:10 AM on April 30, 2012


Holla!
posted by mossicle (starter) at 3:17 AM on April 30, 2012


Sigh.
posted by ob1quixote (stamps.com) at 3:17 AM on April 30, 2012


.
posted by nobody (steve-o) at 3:25 AM on April 30, 2012


"nobody farts"? That's not what this book says.
posted by mkb (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 3:35 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm just watching the parade go by, but then I see something like...

Wakka wakka?
posted by Wylla (fapfapfap)
posted by oneswellfoop (staffing solutions) at 11:37 on April 30 [+] [!] [quote]Other [99/99]: «≡·
posted by Dumsnill (graft) at 3:46 AM on April 30, 2012


obligatory tag whore here joining the ovinous masses...
posted by arzakh (stamp out litter) at 4:07 AM on April 30, 2012


Oh, hey, I'll have one of these....
posted by penguin pie (stoned) at 4:24 AM on April 30, 2012


Sigh, it's impossible to resist.
posted by bcwinters (stan the potato man) at 4:36 AM on April 30, 2012


I can't wait to see my randomly chosen nickname
posted by joost de vries (stafu) at 4:37 AM on April 30, 2012


Okay, fine.
posted by ladygypsy (staphylococcus) at 4:43 AM on April 30, 2012


What is this I don't even
posted by K.P. (stalwart) at 4:44 AM on April 30, 2012


What bcwinters said.
posted by inigo2 (staple singers) at 4:59 AM on April 30, 2012


Obviously
posted by rocket88 (sunday sunday SUNDAY) at 5:06 AM on April 30, 2012


Oh, what the hell.
posted by chillmost (starvin') at 5:11 AM on April 30, 2012


dammit
posted by chillmost (fapfapfap) at 5:11 AM on April 30, 2012


Heh. I wanted to "close" this thread prematurely but it turns out there are filters in place to prevent people from spoofing someone else's comments.
posted by daniel_charms (stamos potential) at 5:12 AM on April 30, 2012


May as well join in...
posted by yuwtze (stan the potato man) at 5:15 AM on April 30, 2012


Wut?
posted by Decani (stagger lee) at 5:15 AM on April 30, 2012


HAHA. Chillmost is a simple machine!
posted by joost de vries (chaff) at 5:16 AM on April 30, 2012


Nothing like waiting until the last minute...
posted by COD (standup bass) at 5:21 AM on April 30, 2012


Drumroll, please.....
posted by qldaddy (stack exchange) at 5:24 AM on April 30, 2012


Eh, okay.
posted by katemonster (stop sign) at 5:26 AM on April 30, 2012


last?
posted by bilabial (waft) at 5:26 AM on April 30, 2012


Foolish fools fun!
posted by dust of the stars (spouse) at 5:26 AM on April 30, 2012


In under the wire!
posted by Skorgu (stan the potato man) at 5:29 AM on April 30, 2012


No!
posted by eugenen (st00pid) at 5:45 AM on April 30, 2012


Rolling ...
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing (graft) at 5:46 AM on April 30, 2012


So, yeah.
posted by oomny (stfu) at 5:46 AM on April 30, 2012


just made it, fools!
posted by anya32 (stout) at 5:46 AM on April 30, 2012


Nick of time!
posted by lovedbymarylane (stop sign) at 5:48 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm just here for the cheese.
posted by metabrilliant (gaffe) at 5:49 AM on April 30, 2012


Zerg were always my favorites.
posted by jeffburdges (studmuffin) at 5:51 AM on April 30, 2012


How did I miss this thread? I like fun.
posted by dorkydancer (stax exchange) at 5:52 AM on April 30, 2012


Ooh!
posted by pointystick (stagger lee) at 5:53 AM on April 30, 2012


┻━┻ ︵ ¯\(ツ)/¯ ︵ ┻━┻
posted by isopraxis (stafu) at 5:56 AM on April 30, 2012


I came to inflate a statistic, and left with a random tag of my own.
posted by helicomatic (giraffed) at 5:56 AM on April 30, 2012


Oh yay, I can still do this :D
posted by littlesq (smithers release the hounds) at 6:01 AM on April 30, 2012


Well, I wasn't that excited.
posted by littlesq (stilettos) at 6:02 AM on April 30, 2012


So when the thread closes are the tags going to freeze?
posted by jonnyploy (steppenwolf) at 6:05 AM on April 30, 2012


ok, maybe really last?
posted by bilabial (chaff) at 6:07 AM on April 30, 2012


I came back for the data (thanks, Pronoiac!) and was hypnotised by the stream of surreality.

This thread is ridiculous.
posted by batmonkey (no soap) at 6:13 AM on April 30, 2012


Very late....
posted by kjs4 (SHAFT) at 6:23 AM on April 30, 2012


I want one!
posted by likeatoaster (studebaker) at 6:24 AM on April 30, 2012


TL;DR
posted by terrapin (stacked) at 6:25 AM on April 30, 2012


Weird
posted by mippy (stet) at 6:29 AM on April 30, 2012


SMITHERS
posted by mippy (standardized test) at 6:29 AM on April 30, 2012


HELLO WORLD.
posted by Medieval Maven (stairway to heaven) at 6:31 AM on April 30, 2012


Huzzah!
posted by DWRoelands (st00pid) at 6:41 AM on April 30, 2012


oneswellfoop: "Why do I know that but can't remember the name of the neighbor 3 doors away?"

Anterograde amnesia?
posted by zarq (stairway to heaven) at 6:42 AM on April 30, 2012


I want to play!
posted by Liesl (stoat) at 6:43 AM on April 30, 2012


Oh my!
posted by bjrn (studmuffin) at 6:44 AM on April 30, 2012


Poop!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts (staves) at 6:44 AM on April 30, 2012


Oh I was so sad to have missed out on this, I thought it only was going to work on April 1st. Yay for my new title!
posted by 8dot3 (stairway to heaven) at 6:44 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm just here for the random mod tag. :)
posted by LN (stuffed) at 6:44 AM on April 30, 2012


How did I miss this?
posted by Bummus (giraffed) at 6:48 AM on April 30, 2012


Once more, for great justice.
posted by jquinby (stockholm syndrome) at 6:49 AM on April 30, 2012


Yes please!
posted by MT (standardized test) at 6:50 AM on April 30, 2012


Me too!
posted by Floydd (giraffed) at 6:52 AM on April 30, 2012


Goodness gracious me.
posted by erebora (stan the potato man) at 6:53 AM on April 30, 2012


Stupid sexy Flanders.
posted by One Hand Slowclapping (stars in your eyes) at 6:55 AM on April 30, 2012


[tap tap tap] Is this thing on?

.
posted by lampshade (stab) at 6:55 AM on April 30, 2012


☃
posted by zamboni (stet) at 7:02 AM on April 30, 2012


Has anyone said, "Does anyone read the posts down here," yet?
posted by amarynth (ffats) at 7:02 AM on April 30, 2012


One more, you know... for old times' sake.
posted by owtytrof (cory doctorow) at 7:02 AM on April 30, 2012


Ew. I hope that's calved as in I have them and not calved as in I gave birth to one.
posted by amarynth (starblazers) at 7:03 AM on April 30, 2012


Nyarrg.
posted by Coatlicue (ffats) at 7:05 AM on April 30, 2012


I have no idea how these people got their randomized staff tags wedged into their scanners.
posted by etc. (president taft) at 7:18 AM on April 30, 2012


This feels rather pitiful, but what the hell.
posted by tavegyl (stacked) at 7:19 AM on April 30, 2012


Fat Freddy's Cat
posted by timsteil (step) at 7:23 AM on April 30, 2012


Gimme gimme!
posted by piro (no soap) at 7:33 AM on April 30, 2012


Wut is this I don't even
posted by tr33hggr (stalwart) at 7:39 AM on April 30, 2012


STAFF TAGS
posted by insectosaurus (stavrosthewonderchicken) at 7:40 AM on April 30, 2012


ಠ_ಠ
posted by Dipsomaniac (stooped) at 7:46 AM on April 30, 2012


‽
posted by sephira (starburns) at 7:50 AM on April 30, 2012


.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas (newborn calf) at 7:51 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm always late.
posted by mokeydraws (stamp tramp) at 7:52 AM on April 30, 2012


OK, I'll get in here before it's too late.
posted by Clandestine Outlawry (no soap) at 8:02 AM on April 30, 2012


Last.
posted by allkindsoftime (smithers release the hounds) at 8:05 AM on April 30, 2012


Not last, but not first either...
posted by Xoder (simple machine) at 8:07 AM on April 30, 2012


Testing.
posted by Phire (starburns) at 8:08 AM on April 30, 2012


Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
posted by tilde (start) at 8:11 AM on April 30, 2012


Party like it's 30042012
posted by fearfulsymmetry (snuffleuppagus) at 8:20 AM on April 30, 2012


Staff tag
posted by Mattat (stop sign) at 8:21 AM on April 30, 2012


I think the announcement today was just a cheap plug to get more comments.
posted by moviehawk (stilettos) at 8:22 AM on April 30, 2012


Late to the party.
posted by arcticwoman (staph) at 8:22 AM on April 30, 2012


oh fine why not I've always regretted not participating in 9622
posted by ook (calved) at 8:24 AM on April 30, 2012


Tag test!
posted by drlith (stasi) at 8:26 AM on April 30, 2012


a month late, almost.
posted by ADent (farts) at 8:27 AM on April 30, 2012


:D
posted by Tarumba (stamp out litter) at 8:29 AM on April 30, 2012


:(


...farts?
posted by Tarumba (starburns) at 8:30 AM on April 30, 2012


hm?
posted by cilantro (staring contest) at 8:36 AM on April 30, 2012


so, so late
posted by dual_action (riffraff) at 8:41 AM on April 30, 2012


Filthy Light Thief, how did you DO that?
posted by jgirl (stef) at 8:42 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm official!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish (stamos potential) at 8:44 AM on April 30, 2012


curiosity too much to resist...
posted by supermedusa (half) at 8:44 AM on April 30, 2012


I guess I never got one.
posted by Miko (stoooooooooooooned) at 8:49 AM on April 30, 2012


Me neither, Miko.
posted by routergirl (snuffleuppagus) at 8:54 AM on April 30, 2012


Dollywood was okay.
posted by KogeLiz (sylvan learning center) at 8:54 AM on April 30, 2012


NSFW
posted by scratch (stuff) at 8:55 AM on April 30, 2012


I don't like that one.
posted by scratch (stef) at 8:55 AM on April 30, 2012


How'd I miss this?
posted by white_devil (staph) at 8:55 AM on April 30, 2012


Much better, thanks.
posted by scratch (steve-o) at 8:55 AM on April 30, 2012


It's like I'm having a conversation with a machine!
posted by scratch (no soap) at 8:56 AM on April 30, 2012


...a somewhat repetitious conversation.
posted by scratch (standup bass) at 8:56 AM on April 30, 2012


That pretty much sums it up.
posted by scratch (stab) at 8:56 AM on April 30, 2012


I give.
posted by scratch (gaffe) at 8:57 AM on April 30, 2012


<3
posted by topoisomerase (scrappy-doo) at 8:58 AM on April 30, 2012


Late adopter as usual.
posted by prize bull octorok (standardized test) at 8:59 AM on April 30, 2012


In under the wire.
posted by Iridic (stuffing) at 9:06 AM on April 30, 2012


jgirl: Filthy Light Thief, how did you DO that?

Mostly magic and hacking.
posted by filthy light thief (nobody understands him but his woman ) at 9:07 AM on April 30, 2012


Since the wire was raised early, I wonder if it will be lowered late? We'll see.
posted by filthy light thief (stop sign) at 9:07 AM on April 30, 2012


Fierce Pajamas and other short stories.
posted by Chutzler (stfu) at 9:10 AM on April 30, 2012


Thanks to the late advertising maybe this thread will make it as having the most unique contributors.
posted by Mitheral (staph) at 9:12 AM on April 30, 2012


did i miss the party
posted by TwelveTwo (mr. belvedere) at 9:13 AM on April 30, 2012


Does anyone read the comments down here?
posted by Aizkolari (giraffed) at 9:13 AM on April 30, 2012


It would be the best joke to keep this open for 60 days and we spend a whole month trying to be the last comment.
posted by TwelveTwo (soup to nuts) at 9:14 AM on April 30, 2012


We're #7! We're #7!

The current #6 placed with 1779 comments. We might ratchet up another rank yet!
posted by filthy light thief (studebaker) at 9:15 AM on April 30, 2012


(Note: the info dumpster doesn't list this thread ranked at all, so it might take a while to see it up there)
posted by filthy light thief (steppenwolf) at 9:16 AM on April 30, 2012


Fun fact: I am (in my own current view) first a [stable boy] and last a [newborn calf]. But that'll change on the next refresh.
posted by filthy light thief (silver surfer) at 9:18 AM on April 30, 2012


in b4 etc
posted by silby (stoat) at 9:26 AM on April 30, 2012


what is my staff tag?
posted by fireflies (stax exchange) at 9:28 AM on April 30, 2012


awesome.
posted by fireflies (stef) at 9:28 AM on April 30, 2012


Twice!
posted by gemmy (stavrosthewinderchicken) at 9:29 AM on April 30, 2012


Last gasp
posted by SpaceWarp13 (shillelagh) at 9:37 AM on April 30, 2012


^ DAY 1
^ DAY 7
^ DAY 41

DAY 86: The survivors of Mrs. Hansen's kindergarten class have satisfied their quest to defeat the Roman Legions, with the help of the rogue Roman general, Cassius Martimus, and his army of former slaves and wild germanic tribesmen. All kneel before the children, some of whom have turned 6 years of age during the ongoing war. Bella, exhausted but full of vigor, gazes at the field, brimming with ancient warriors. She is wearing what was once a lavender shirt with a sequined rainbow, but was now stained with blood, ashes, mud and courage. Jared had lost a tooth during battle, but that will grow back soon enough. Maddy's right eye is bandaged with linen wrapped around her head, where a flaming arrow had burned it. It might heal yet. She is chewing an old piece of gum.

On Day 86, though, another terrible ripple through the dimensions occurs. Alien robots with no faces but instead had like butts for a face, except they were cat butts with the tail and everything, and they were green too, and they have even more superior technology, suddenly appear on the banks of the Tiber river. Whether conquest grips their intentions as it had Mrs. Hansen's kindergarten class remained to be seen.

For on Day 86, yet another curse blights Ancient Rome. Golden ashes fall from the sky, but from no source; as if the ashes precipitate from the atmosphere itself. And the dead begin to rise. Reamimated corpses shake off the buzzards feasting on their putrid corpses. Thousands of reanimated corpses.

5-(and 6)-year-olds with modern weapons vs. green robot aliens with cat-butt faces vs. Roman soldier zombies. It was totally happening.
posted by jabberjaw (newborn calf) at 9:37 AM on April 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm only here for the trappings of power.
posted by gladly (staring contest) at 9:43 AM on April 30, 2012


are we not yet cannibals?
posted by tilde (stamos potential) at 9:45 AM on April 30, 2012


I knew nothing of this!
posted by daydreamer (star wars) at 9:46 AM on April 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


I await my birthright and calling, lord
posted by naju (calved) at 9:47 AM on April 30, 2012


As site overlord, I am going to make you all do crafts.
posted by orange swan (stamp tramp) at 9:48 AM on April 30, 2012


dang, missed this the first time
posted by Runes (stilettos) at 9:48 AM on April 30, 2012


Last!
posted by Lynsey (stuffed) at 9:52 AM on April 30, 2012


Ooh ooh I got winner! Yay me!
posted by Lynsey (smithers) at 9:53 AM on April 30, 2012


blah
posted by lee (staphylococcus) at 9:55 AM on April 30, 2012


whoa! this thing's still open!
posted by iamkimiam (step) at 9:56 AM on April 30, 2012


I am just looking for a used car...what is all this?
posted by ALongDecember (starfish kisses) at 9:56 AM on April 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Shoobie doobie doooooooo
posted by not_on_display (staves) at 9:56 AM on April 30, 2012


Will this thread
be so mighty
as to lay low
the mountains
of the uuuurrth?
posted by seanmpuckett (raff scaff) at 10:00 AM on April 30, 2012


Hay guys
posted by Toothless Willy (star wars) at 10:02 AM on April 30, 2012


We are the hollow guys
We are the stuffed guys
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with hay. Alas!
posted by Sys Rq (stuffing) at 10:05 AM on April 30, 2012


I don't read MeTa much, so I totally missed this.
posted by deanc (mood) at 10:06 AM on April 30, 2012


Testing 1, 2, 3.

Is this thing on? *tap tap*
posted by SpacemanStix (step) at 10:21 AM on April 30, 2012


chaff

Oh, that's lovely.
posted by SpacemanStix (smithers release the hounds) at 10:22 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm hoping for smithers release the hounds.
posted by joyceanmachine (stax exchange) at 10:24 AM on April 30, 2012


DARN.
posted by joyceanmachine (winner) at 10:24 AM on April 30, 2012


I always wanted a cool nickname.
posted by karlos (staring contest) at 10:26 AM on April 30, 2012


"farts" is disturbingly appropriate.
posted by karlos (no soap) at 10:26 AM on April 30, 2012


under the wire
posted by dr. moot (scrappy-doo) at 10:33 AM on April 30, 2012


"...it's just a little slimy. It's still good! It's still good!"
posted by zarq (chaff) at 10:35 AM on April 30, 2012


for posterity...
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit (stapler) at 10:42 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm running late, as usual.
posted by dejah420 (stopped) at 10:43 AM on April 30, 2012


In under the wire like always
posted by HopperFan (giraffed) at 10:48 AM on April 30, 2012


procrastination does this to people
posted by expialidocious (stasi) at 10:50 AM on April 30, 2012


Yoink!
posted by Kitty Stardust (sweeney toddler) at 10:52 AM on April 30, 2012


sartori - the state of being really relaxed about your clothes
posted by expialidocious (stop sign) at 10:53 AM on April 30, 2012


In before an essay concerning human understanding.
posted by tigrefacile (stop sign) at 11:03 AM on April 30, 2012


.
posted by Smart Dalek (half) at 11:13 AM on April 30, 2012


because I gotta.
posted by patheral (stacked) at 11:19 AM on April 30, 2012


Oh... okay.
posted by lumpenprole (starburns) at 11:25 AM on April 30, 2012


Curiosity, cat, all that.
posted by jetlagaddict (start) at 11:41 AM on April 30, 2012


Better be a good one!
posted by typewriter (stodgy) at 11:44 AM on April 30, 2012


Can't believe I missed it this year...
posted by geckoinpdx (staring contest) at 11:51 AM on April 30, 2012


I'm curious...
posted by elerina (SHAFT) at 11:55 AM on April 30, 2012


What's all the fuss about?
posted by smcniven (stoat) at 11:58 AM on April 30, 2012


How did I miss this?
posted by brundlefly ( radio) at 11:58 AM on April 30, 2012


so we're all gonna be s's now?
posted by Hobgoblin (snodgrass) at 12:13 PM on April 30, 2012


Nope!
posted by flatluigi (graft) at 12:13 PM on April 30, 2012


I am wasting my morning and have crucial shit I should be doing!
posted by EatTheWeek (soup to nuts) at 12:17 PM on April 30, 2012


well hello
posted by 6550 ('struth) at 12:23 PM on April 30, 2012


What's mah title!?
posted by FJT (stamp tramp) at 12:28 PM on April 30, 2012


age of aqua
posted by JohnR (staph) at 12:35 PM on April 30, 2012


if my fake admin title is anything but "2: Return of shmegegge" or "2: Electric Boogaloo" I will be extremely disappointed.
posted by shmegegge (taffy) at 12:37 PM on April 30, 2012


god damn it.
posted by shmegegge (step) at 12:37 PM on April 30, 2012


blah. (since no one is reading these, i don't have to be clever)
posted by Mchelly (stefi graf) at 12:42 PM on April 30, 2012


Radio?
posted by Mchelly (stack o toads) at 12:43 PM on April 30, 2012


i got a rock.
posted by Mchelly (stella) at 12:44 PM on April 30, 2012


Mine better say Emperor...
posted by lilkeith07 (stack o toads) at 12:45 PM on April 30, 2012


I came for the silly name.
posted by munchingzombie (stars in your eyes) at 12:59 PM on April 30, 2012


Comment #1797
posted by filthy light thief (newborn calf) at 1:00 PM on April 30, 2012


*draws*
posted by JoeXIII007 (studebaker) at 1:00 PM on April 30, 2012


Rather, that was #1798, making this #1799, and the next.
posted by filthy light thief (starship trooper) at 1:01 PM on April 30, 2012


Dammit! #1801
posted by filthy light thief (stoat) at 1:01 PM on April 30, 2012


Zip zap doobity bap.
posted by Sangermaine (seven chinese brothers) at 1:04 PM on April 30, 2012


what
posted by aught (SHAFT) at 1:07 PM on April 30, 2012


I am a
posted by MuffinMan (winner) at 1:09 PM on April 30, 2012


does anybody even read the posts down here?
posted by dismas (stabilizer) at 1:15 PM on April 30, 2012


haha, lol, lmao, whatever...
posted by jasper411 (staphylococcus) at 1:16 PM on April 30, 2012


# 1807.

In the year 1807, the Slave Trade was abolished in both the U.S. and Great Britain. Aaron Burr was acquitted of treason. Steamboat service began on the Hudson. Robert E. Lee was born.
posted by jabberjaw (star trek) at 1:20 PM on April 30, 2012


late to the party
posted by cosmicbandito (stapler) at 1:28 PM on April 30, 2012


This sounds like a neat idea!
posted by Kevin Street (graft) at 1:34 PM on April 30, 2012


Particle Man
posted by thesmallmachine ( radio) at 1:39 PM on April 30, 2012


Fashionably late to the party
posted by Paragon (spouse) at 1:41 PM on April 30, 2012


At this rate, we (I like to be inclusive) have a shot at breaking 2000 comments and the low-hanging 5th Place Longest Thread (at 2014).

MORE NON-SEQUITURS, PLEASE!
posted by oneswellfoop