A thread from another time

February 19, 2013 7:38 PM

This post and its subsequent thread from 2005 is hilarious. To anyone who registered after that (as I did) I recommend you read it. It's like Metafilter from another dimension. Warning: inline images and broken links to Tripod.com hosted media.
posted by codacorolla to MetaFilter-Related at 7:38 PM (150 comments total)

Hey mods--if that was posted today, would it be deleted?
posted by box at 7:41 PM on February 19, 2013

Wow. This makes me feel old...
posted by AwkwardPause at 7:43 PM on February 19, 2013

For your horror, I present: THE THREAD WITH NO LINKS WHATSOEVER
posted by ColdChef at 7:43 PM on February 19, 2013 [31 favorites]

That thread made me a better person in two ways:

1) I have more patience with all retail checkers.

2) I stopped spelling it "portabello".
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:48 PM on February 19, 2013 [3 favorites]

Back in the days when a little mischief in the comments was tolerated.
posted by Ardiril at 7:49 PM on February 19, 2013 [3 favorites]

Rest in peace, MiHail.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 7:53 PM on February 19, 2013 [26 favorites]

I wish I'd seen that thread at the time, so that I could talk about how (at the tender age of 18) I was promoted from bagboy to checker at a midwest grocery store, and how they had us drive out to their suburban training center for four three-hour classes on four consecutive evenings. The whole place was set up like the stores, complete with checkout stations and shelves full of food, and one evening's class was devoted entirely to taking produce of every imaginable shape and size out of two shopping carts, one by one, examining them, consuming bits of them, and learning their names and little facts about 'em.

because I have fond memories of that particular class and I like to share my fond memories and by the way that's where I learned about star fruit
posted by davejay at 7:55 PM on February 19, 2013 [11 favorites]

I was at dagostino yesterday buying some pop tarts and the checker asked me if I had a dag card. I said something like "umm dunno. lemme see" pulled out my keychain, found the dag fob and handed it to her. She said "c'mon dude, how come you didn't know, it was right on your keychain". I just stood there, what could I really say in my defense. After she rang up my pop tarts she said "sorry if that sounded snarky". I think I met a MeFite in the wild.
posted by Ad hominem at 7:56 PM on February 19, 2013 [2 favorites]

That post has been flagged 94 times.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:02 PM on February 19, 2013 [10 favorites]

Is the universe just conspiring to make me feel old this week? As in, has it really been that long???

(This place is all modern and slick now. I kinda miss the old wild west days when the snark flowed freely. But we all grew up, didn't we.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:05 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

I think of that thread almost every time I go grocery shopping. It is why I try to identify my kale in as kind and friendly a manner as possible.
posted by RogerB at 8:06 PM on February 19, 2013

Hey mods--if that was posted today, would it be deleted?

In a hot minute, god rest her. But I think the site was still basically just Matt and part-time Jess, and we had zero toolset for things like flag alerts etc. Matt eventually commented about it five and a half hours later, which is not really the sort of response time we're aiming for these days with a full staff and a bigger crowd of users.

Back in the days when a little mischief in the comments was tolerated.

I don't mind a little mischief, but one of the main reasons we'd delete a thread like that for sure these days is to keep it from being a massive pile-on on some clueless but well-meaning user. One of the things that it was easier to find on the site in 2005 compared to now was people being pretty shitty to confused or bumbling users.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:07 PM on February 19, 2013 [12 favorites]

I was one of the people who flagged it way back when and was so sure it was going to be deleted I even made a snarky comment that shames me to this day because the thread ended up staying and generating a wildy unheard of 1000+ comments.

Wasn't there an accompanying Meta?

Ah here it is.
posted by Mitheral at 8:08 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

My good cortex, I didn't mean the tolerance of the mods, but the hoi polloi.
posted by Ardiril at 8:10 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

For the education of the youth of amerika: the link went to this image.
posted by gubo at 8:18 PM on February 19, 2013

I miss in line images.
posted by Justinian at 8:21 PM on February 19, 2013 [2 favorites]

I love NostalgiaFilter. Here's a post from 2000 wherein Matt is almost finished with the much-requested bozo filter. LONGEST PONY WAIT EVER.
posted by judith at 8:21 PM on February 19, 2013 [5 favorites]

Also I'd forgotten how much fun stressful MI posts used to be. You'd have to compose your post offline (always a good idea what with the JRUNs anyways) and just before you hit post you'd go to your editor and copy the MI section onto the clip board. And then you'd hit post and frantically hit the comment button, CTRL+V, and preview and then post all the while panicking that the server would pick that time to flogg it self. And if it did you'd have to manically hit F5 waiting for it to come up so that you could get the first comment. And heaven help you if it took more than a few minutes and you lost your focus or were called away.
posted by Mitheral at 8:22 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

come home jonmc
posted by mwhybark at 8:24 PM on February 19, 2013 [24 favorites]

There's also the legendary #1142.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 8:36 PM on February 19, 2013

I often break the top of pineapples and put them back in the bin. The tops take up space and poke through the plastic bags.

I cannot tell you how many arguments I've had with cashiers that "No! I'm not lying. That is a pineapple!" Usually they have to call for confirmation. *sigh*
posted by dobbs at 8:38 PM on February 19, 2013

It's like Metafilter from another dimension. Yes it is a dimension I knew well and loved and still is familiar to me. I think perhaps it is called my youth or something like that.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:55 PM on February 19, 2013

A what mushroom?
posted by scratch at 9:09 PM on February 19, 2013

It's like Metafilter from another dimension. Yes it is a dimension I knew well and loved and still is familiar to me. I think perhaps it is called my youth or something like that.

That is the land of lost content;
I see it shining plain:
The Metafilter where I went
can never come again.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:22 PM on February 19, 2013 [2 favorites]

I was a member then, and I have absolutely no recollection of this thread. :-(

But wow...
posted by mykescipark at 9:30 PM on February 19, 2013

I've always thought that the Sketchzilla thread was one of the finer Metafilter crapfloods.
posted by reprise the theme song and roll the credits at 9:55 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ah, I still miss MiHail.
posted by koeselitz at 10:05 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

I remember that thread. Now I feel old.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:48 PM on February 19, 2013

You gotta love somebody too snobbish for Metafilter.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:49 PM on February 19, 2013 [2 favorites]

Wow! Reading that thread is really strange for a newb like me. Images were allowed? Crazy.

Also, I have to say that Death is an evil bastard.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 10:56 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

no more inline images, little spoken of when we were vickings. The times has changed for better and worse. I miss inline images (to a degree ) vikings and discussions or portobellos. It was a golden age of Meta filter sliding to what could have been its death. Fun Yes, sustainable????
posted by Carbolic at 11:09 PM on February 19, 2013

i do remember being very entertained buy the portobello thread. Truley a classic. At late thanks MiHail. It had a positive effect on my day and it still crosses my mind YEARS LATER
posted by Carbolic at 11:19 PM on February 19, 2013

posted by judith

*waves* You're still around?!

come home jonmc

As I've said a few times, I lurked from the beginning, but what made me register was probably the need to talk back at jonmc.
posted by dhartung at 11:21 PM on February 19, 2013

Yep, that thread has an entry on the wiki, appeared in goodnewsfortheinsane's infamous MetaFilter Quiz, and rates a mention on both the list of in jokes and the timeline.
posted by RichardP at 12:26 AM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

As I've said a few times, I lurked from the beginning, but what made me register was probably the need to talk back at jonmc.

Half of my persona/personality is based on jonmc. We need him back.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 12:56 AM on February 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

Coldchef, I followed that link and now I can't stop laughing. Best of the web. The non-title somehow makes it even funnier.
posted by en forme de poire at 1:30 AM on February 20, 2013

eponysterical must not have been A Thing yet back when capt.crackpipe posted the first response to the Post With No Links ColdChef links to.
posted by drlith at 3:45 AM on February 20, 2013

I still miss inline images too, but in this world of lolcats and animated gifs, their elimination is probably for the best.
posted by Rock Steady at 4:53 AM on February 20, 2013

I'm impressed by how many of the images are still viable. My memory is bad enough that even though I read that thread at the time, I'd completely forgotten it, so I just enjoyed it afresh. Quite the contrast to the modern professional metafilter.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:54 AM on February 20, 2013

Just last week I stood patiently in line at the Safeway while a checker boggled at my endive, went to produce to figure out what it was (after I told him), came back without any joy, and finally let me look over his PLU list to find it for him. The entire time I was thinking about that thread, like a mantra, and I was calm.
posted by OmieWise at 5:10 AM on February 20, 2013 [6 favorites]

I remember that post from back in the day. Good times.

I also remember reading the Scarabic post in real time--like, live question and scrolling down until I hit Scarabic. Amazing.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 5:22 AM on February 20, 2013

I'm impressed by how many of the images are still viable.

I came across a glittery G.G. Allen gif in an old thread a while back.
posted by Sailormom at 5:23 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

OmieWise: The entire time I was thinking about that thread, like a mantra, and I was calm.

I think we've all had our little "Portabello Moments" in the supermarket. Mine came when I asked the Produce Manager at our local Harris Teeter where the fennel was, and he said, "What's fennel?"
posted by Rock Steady at 5:23 AM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

I'm still not sure what a portobello mushroom is.
posted by mullacc at 5:54 AM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Ha! I was at the supermarket checkout the other day with a big bag of okra, and the really nice woman behind the till just looked at it, and you could see in her eyes just go "Oh boy, what the fuck...", but then it was cool, and we spelled it out together and found it on the system, and all I could think of was that thread...

If we're all on for hilarious old threads, my favourite is one I can no longer find which was a drunk post that just said something like "QOTSA man, what a gig" and was almost immediately deleted. I still think about that one too, and it never fails to raise a smile.
posted by hydatius at 5:54 AM on February 20, 2013

I'm still not sure what a portobello mushroom is.

A big-ass mushroom. The cap is usually as big as a hamburger patty, and thus that often is an application for it (grill cap as if you were grilling a burger, insert into bun, eat).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:01 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

For your horror, I present: THE THREAD WITH NO LINKS WHATSOEVER

From this related MetaTalk thread, it seems that linkless threads weren't too uncommon back in the day.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:25 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

And pre-mod jessamyn even supported "poll the audience" chatfilter posts!

Wow, those were some weird days.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:27 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

I found Metafilter via a self-link post. That certainly wouldn't fly today.
posted by MrMoonPie at 6:52 AM on February 20, 2013

I never have the produce identification problem anymore since I always use the self-checkout, but the best instance was the lovely young person who had apparently never seen a lime.
posted by FelliniBlank at 7:06 AM on February 20, 2013

It's crazy/sad seeing some names again after a while- Krrrlson,cillit bang,Konolia before she was St. Alia and sadly, Balisong. But yeah, that was one of the first long threads I read all the way through.
posted by hollygoheavy at 7:19 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm still not sure what a portobello mushroom is.

Twenty bucks, same as in town.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:23 AM on February 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

I think we've all had our little "Portabello Moments" in the supermarket. Mine came when I asked the Produce Manager at our local Harris Teeter where the fennel was, and he said, "What's fennel?"

"Where'd you find this giant, red celery? I think there might be something wrong with it!"

Rhubarb.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:45 AM on February 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

Not a "portabello moment" in a supermarket, but I did have to offer a lengthy explanation to the the German Exchange student in high school who didn't know that corn on the cob and creamed corn were the same vegetable.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:50 AM on February 20, 2013

Once, after asking where the Vidalia onions were in the product section, I was told "I don't think they make those any more".
posted by duien at 8:04 AM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

I never have the produce identification problem anymore since I always use the self-checkout

I never use the self-checkout because the last thing I want is to give the green eyeshades at Safeway HQ another reason to put the screws to the cashiers. I have had a cashier look at my leeks and ask what the hell those were. But my most memorable Portobello Moment came at the post office, when I tried to mail a gift to a friend in Coeur d'Alene, ID. The postal worker looked at the address and asked where I was sending it. "Idaho" I said. She said "ID is not the abbreviation for Idaho." Not wanting to just call her an idiot, I asked her what was the correct abbreviation for Idaho. "IA" she says. "No, " I say, "that's Iowa." She yells back to the back room to confirm, and then grumblingly lets me mail my package.

But that was an amazing thread.
posted by ambrosia at 8:14 AM on February 20, 2013

The postal worker looked at the address and asked where I was sending it. "Idaho" I said. She said "ID is not the abbreviation for Idaho." Not wanting to just call her an idiot, I asked her what was the correct abbreviation for Idaho. "IA" she says. "No, " I say, "that's Iowa." She yells back to the back room to confirm, and then grumblingly lets me mail my package.

People from New Mexico can top that, I'm sure....an acquaintance was born in New Mexico, and says that some local magazine has a regular feature called "One Of Our 50 Is Missing", where readers write in with tales about people in any of the other 50 states who want to call/mail/otherwise communicate with New Mexico and they get told that international rates apply or some other similar wacky fun ensuses.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:29 AM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Reading through that thread, I am reminded that during the course of the thread I learned that a very close friend had committed suicide. Strange that I'd been thinking about him lately.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:33 AM on February 20, 2013

I don't know if it means I'm getting old, or I'm getting young, but while I remember that thread vividly, it happened a long time ago, and it feels like it happened a long time ago.
posted by Bugbread at 8:35 AM on February 20, 2013 [6 favorites]

People from New Mexico can top that, I'm sure...

Yeah, same story in Canada's three territories.

"Free shipping in Canada!"
"Great, I'll take one!"
"You're not in Canada."

Amazon, to their credit, means free shipping in Canada when they say it.
posted by ODiV at 8:39 AM on February 20, 2013

Man, I can't believe the Portobello FPP was three weeks after I joined.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:45 AM on February 20, 2013

Half of my persona/personality is based on jonmc. We need him back.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 3:56 AM on February 20 [+] [!]

Charlemagne In Sweatpants, I always see your username as Champagne in Sweatpants and then I think of drinking champagne in sweatpants, and then I think I really need a day off.
posted by sweetkid at 8:51 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

creamed corn is a vegetable like ketchup is a vegetable.
posted by edgeways at 8:54 AM on February 20, 2013

Half of my persona/personality is based on jonmc.

I'm... not sure I'd admit that.
posted by dersins at 8:56 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

edgeways: "creamed corn is a vegetable like ketchup is a vegetable."

Ketchup is a FRUIT.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:02 AM on February 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

creamed corn is a vegetable like ketchup is a vegetable.

Heh; bad example. I mean that he thought that the off-the-cob kernels he saw in things like niblets or whatever came from an entirely different plant. I actually had to draw a picture to convince him that "no, this is what you cut off of that."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:05 AM on February 20, 2013

Help a newbie out: What was jonmc's deal?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:09 AM on February 20, 2013

I think we've all had our little "Portabello Moments" in the supermarket. Mine came when I asked the Produce Manager at our local Harris Teeter where the fennel was, and he said, "What's fennel?"

Mine came with a bag of figs. The checker asked what they were; I said, "Figs." He looked for figs in his little book and couldn't find them. Called the manager over. Manager asked what they were. "Figs." Manager went to produce to find the code; couldn't find it.

They ended up ringing up my figs as persimmons.
posted by devinemissk at 9:33 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Holy shit that was eight years ago?
posted by shakespeherian at 9:42 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

What was jonmc's deal?

Picture Rob Gordon from High Fidelity growing up 20 years later in the internet age. Heck, I am pretty sure in my brain his comments were narrated by John Cusack.

Really? Those were not my thoughts at all. I had more of a Dante from Clerks scenario going.
posted by sweetkid at 9:48 AM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

My grocery store has a text list and a picture system. Many things are missing from one or both, especially seasonal and tropical produce. Unfortunately you can't put a sticker on a rambutan.
posted by sgrass at 9:50 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

If we're digging up old posts my favorite is still mathowie's FPPing of Fark.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:00 AM on February 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

Loquacious always had the best gifs.
posted by Curious Artificer at 10:01 AM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

That post has been flagged 94 times.

And every one as fantastic post, amirite?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:06 AM on February 20, 2013

The "Drama Queen" thread from a million years ago was pretty funny and, again, such a pileon would never be something that was allowed now (for good reason) even though it was in MetaTalk and not MetaFilter proper.
posted by Falconetti at 10:19 AM on February 20, 2013

Raising my hand as another one who can't believe that was over seven years ago. I'm getting old, and looking over that thread, with my advancing years I'm glad to say I'm about more circumspect with some of my comments...

And I miss some folks here too. But lots of new folks always showing up. There are some people that are so prolific and interesting, when I look at their user names I think they've been around since I was, but then see they joined just a year or two ago.
posted by marxchivist at 10:42 AM on February 20, 2013

Ha when I started reading the site regularly I remember that thread as code for the olden days
posted by The Whelk at 11:15 AM on February 20, 2013

I hadn't heard of the thread till now, but I was an AskMe only person for a long time and there's a lot you miss (didn't know the cat-scanner joke for a few years). I thought the code for olden days was un owen and Kaycee Nicole.
posted by sweetkid at 11:20 AM on February 20, 2013

Can everyone please remember this for the next time someone tries to tell us about the "good old days?" You can click into some of those older threads and literally see people just screaming profanities at each other. It was pretty awful, and I was hesitant to join even after sign-ups were opened because of that kind of stuff.

The improvement over the years has been amazing. Good job everyone!
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:27 AM on February 20, 2013 [9 favorites]

What drjimmy11 just said - definitely.

Lurked on MetaFilter every now and then over the years, and maybe I was just hitting it at particularly bad thread times, but it always seemed to be a hostile place where posters would be quickly shot down in comments.

Checked MetaFilter out again last year, partially after growing weary of otherwise sensible Twitter folk forming angry mobs with pitchforks and torches every five minutes, and thought "Hey, this looks intelligent and restrained but not overly censored". Joined, figured out posting, now spend more time on MetaFilter than the rest of social media combined. Finding the psychology of MetaFilter FPP construction a fascinating side-interest, but that's just a bonus.
posted by Wordshore at 11:59 AM on February 20, 2013

True story: I found Fark because of Matt's post.

I read about half of the mushroom thread as it happened, but some of the mean stuff tainted it for me and I didn't come back. Wish I had. Sad that MiHail didn't get a chance to be a longstanding member in vivo, although her legacy remains.

So many names in those old threads that I miss or at least wonder about! I hope most are off to more interesting things, being the people they most want to be. And there are a few that I know are gone, and that makes me a little more sad. Amazing how many people's output it took for me to give up on pretending I didn't want to give it a go here in a more interactive fashion; I wish more of them were still here, but I do appreciate so many of the newer folks that it takes a lot of the sting away.

That linkless thread...I don't know why, but the capt.crackpipe comment broke me down with silent, shaking laughter, so it earned a belated favourite.

The really intriguing part to me in reading through these older threads and thinking about the folks involved is how MeFi has evolved over the years, how it has managed to keep building anew even while protecting a vault of history that is alternately hilarious and horrible. Seeing some of the growth in action, so visible and sometimes risible, is such a testament to the efforts of everyone here to find the best balance for community, knowledge, and amusement.

Awesome.
posted by batmonkey at 12:26 PM on February 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

God, what was the old thread where somebody was shamelessly self-promoting their (terrible) band, and everyone did mean-ass stunt comments because they were 99% sure it was going to get nuked from orbit any second, but it wasn't deleted for like hours, if ever? I can't find it because I have spaced out the band name, which may have had to do with gardening or poodles. That was another instance where I was simultaneously horse-laughing and overwhelmed with Protestant guilt for doing so.
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:52 PM on February 20, 2013

That was Pretty Flowers featuring RustyBottoms.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 12:59 PM on February 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

Pretty Fl—

dammit
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:01 PM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Help a newbie out - what was jonmc's deal?

Jonmc was a rock and roll soldier in the war against the jive. He liked good music and once FPPed a single Cheap Trick video. He got me into The Dictators, who are awesome.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 1:01 PM on February 20, 2013

That was Pretty Flowers featuring RustyBottoms.

Thanks a million! I'm impressed that I almost sort of remembered the category of band name.
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:03 PM on February 20, 2013

I'd always thought of the img tag as one of those now-defunct features from days of yore that latecomers like me were too n00b to have experienced, but looking at these threads (and digging through the Wiki) tells me that the image tag was available for at least several more months after I joined in 2006. Weird how memory works.

I remember that Portabello Mushroom thread as being the first time I chased down a Metafilter in-joke to its source and then spent way too much time reading up on. And thus a terrible habit was born.

(The other notable one that stands out in my mind: We have cameras.)
posted by Phire at 1:15 PM on February 20, 2013

I think my favorite MetaTalk thread: "Ahh, now that this thread has dropped off the front page, I'm free to romp and play and talk to myself...."
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 1:28 PM on February 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

Phire: I'd always thought of the img tag as one of those now-defunct features from days of yore that latecomers like me were too n00b to have experienced, but looking at these threads (and digging through the Wiki) tells me that the image tag was available for at least several more months after I joined in 2006. Weird how memory works

The restraint with which the img tag was used, outside of longboats and soon-to-be deleted crapfloods was somewhat remarkable. I wouldn't be surprised if you never saw an image during those few months.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:33 PM on February 20, 2013

Also, why can't us men think of these things ? Lol
posted by Rock Steady at 1:36 PM on February 20, 2013

Rock Steady: "Also, why can't us men think of these things ? Lol"

Ah, a classic post one ought savor like a fine bort wime, lol.
posted by boo_radley at 1:41 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Anyone know what happened to Jim Jones? Did we scare him away forever? We hardly knew ye!
posted by Melismata at 1:50 PM on February 20, 2013

Melismata: Anyone know what happened to Jim Jones? Did we scare him away forever? We hardly knew ye!

There was probably a LoFi Cold Fusion glitch that has kept him locked into that thread for these past 8 years. He can (and does) still post comments, but none of us can ever see them, and he can't comment on any other post on the site.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:08 PM on February 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

lol remember when jessamyn made everyone look at a pic of some dude fucking a chicken.
posted by mullacc at 3:24 PM on February 20, 2013 [7 favorites]

He liked good music and once FPPed a single Cheap Trick video.

That was one of the greatest threads in the history of forever. I found his unbridled passion for Surrender to be exhilarating, and I miss him greatly.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:32 PM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

mullacc: "lol remember when jessamyn made everyone look at a pic of some dude fucking a chicken."

I still think this should be the one exception to the "no in-line images" policy: Jessamyn may, when she feels it appropriate and necessary, post the chicken-fucking picture.
posted by Bugbread at 4:50 PM on February 20, 2013

I remember that thread. Me and MiHail did go at eachother like two cats in a sack, but later on over the course of a few threads on MeCha, we got to the point where we figured eachother out and I was genuinely saddened by her passing.

As for the thread? Yeah, there's some really funny moments, but that was definitely another time. Better? Worse? Who the hell knows?
posted by jonmc at 5:05 PM on February 20, 2013 [12 favorites]

...the fuck??

Jonmc?!
posted by Bugbread at 5:12 PM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

I was in the neigborhood.
posted by jonmc at 5:13 PM on February 20, 2013 [23 favorites]

Note for the record that all Jess did was provide a helpful hyperlink by which the informed browser could choose to view the dick chicken.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:19 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hey, paisan! Great to see you around these parts again.
posted by languagehat at 5:29 PM on February 20, 2013

That was to jonmc, not 'tex, who I see around these parts all the damn time.
posted by languagehat at 5:29 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Note for the record that all Jess did was provide a helpful hyperlink by which the informed browser could choose to view the dick chicken.

The dicken, surely?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:30 PM on February 20, 2013

Good to see ya, hat. I had a nice MeFiCation. Went on a carribean cruise with the wife, hung out with co-workers more, caught up on my reading, developed a taste for expensive smelly cheese and anchovies, survived a hurricane and a blizzard (although I wrenched my back badly digging my wife's car out after the latter).
posted by jonmc at 5:33 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ok, never mind the eulogy, then.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:46 PM on February 20, 2013

Nah, go ahead. But give everyone a half-hour for rebuttal.
posted by jonmc at 5:47 PM on February 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

Well, it's about time you got back.
posted by AccountSolelyforRespondingtojonmc at 5:58 PM on February 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
posted by jonmc at 6:03 PM on February 20, 2013 [12 favorites]

I want you to think about something. Yes, employees in supermarkets are, generally not rocket scientists, but that's because those who are "a little closer to being rocket scientists" don't work in supermarkets because they have better jobs.

Supermarkets are deperate to find employees because the economy is good, so they recruit the bottom of the barrel, and have to scrape the bottom even harder to find anyone.

Do you really want an economy where literate, savvy people need to work at the checkout?
posted by ParisParamus at 1:58 PM on November 12, 2005 [2 favorites +] [!]

Wow... that thread really is from a completely different time. Sad, how much things have gone downhill for so many people... actual rocket scientists probably ARE vying for jobs at the checkout these days!
posted by coupdefoudre at 6:20 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Do you really want an economy where literate, savvy people need to work at the checkout?

"Wait three years."
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 6:26 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Alright, I can't believe I'm about to ask this, but -

Can someone link me to the dick chicken?

I can take it. I sat through FOOD FIGHT three times in a row.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:26 PM on February 20, 2013

languagehat: "That was to jonmc, not 'tex, who I see around these parts all the damn time."

Seriously, does that guy never go home?
posted by Phire at 6:27 PM on February 20, 2013

> Loquacious always had the best gifs.

http://i.imgur.com/9TajbYZ.gif
posted by loquacious at 6:31 PM on February 20, 2013 [6 favorites]

DUDE

nice to have you around again!
posted by mwhybark at 7:14 PM on February 20, 2013

So where the hell is Miguel? I was led to believe there would be old-timers coming back in this thread.
posted by Curious Artificer at 7:17 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Or Amberglow.
posted by Mitheral at 7:33 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

A few months after he stopped commenting , amberglow dropped by my store to sell some bookd. He seemed in good spirits. Have seen or heard from him since.
posted by jonmc at 7:35 PM on February 20, 2013

That post has been flagged 94 times.

95.
posted by notyou at 7:47 PM on February 20, 2013

jon, we've got an edit window now!
posted by Curious Artificer at 7:49 PM on February 20, 2013

Heh. Well, anyway, nice to see you all, but I have to get up and work, so goodnight all.
posted by jonmc at 7:57 PM on February 20, 2013

Hey, why does it smell like stale cigarettes and beer in here? Ah, jonmc is back. Good to see you, my friend.
posted by ColdChef at 8:11 PM on February 20, 2013

EmpressCallipygos: "Can someone link me to the dick chicken?"

Here you go.

Though the fact that fandango_matt made an animated gif out of it, and posted it in-line (as opposed to Jessamyn, who just linked to it) is what really made that thread for me.
posted by Bugbread at 8:16 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Another classic thread from 2005: Porn in the Woods
posted by ColdChef at 8:24 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

So where the hell is Miguel? I was led to believe there would be old-timers coming back in this thread.

Sad to say but he has other priorities. We should all send him our love in our hearts now.
posted by y2karl at 9:14 PM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

jonmc! I was listening to Cheap Trick today, dude. I thought of you, like always.
posted by koeselitz at 9:51 PM on February 20, 2013

I think of jonmc every time I hear this song:

Didn't want to go out but it felt really right when someone put on "Heaven Tonight"
Had a moment in the middle of "In Color" and "In Black & White"
Sing along to the "Southern Girls"
Rip me out of my little world
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:21 PM on February 20, 2013

Greg Nog: "Also, perhaps the greatest thing about the Pretty Flowers thread is how I remember both the band's name and the bassist with perfect clarity -- much more than any other band I've ever been introduced to through mefi."

Self-linking, for lack of a better word, is good. Self-linking is right. Self-linking works.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:11 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

I could have sworn I was a member back during the What's That thread, but no, it seems that was when I was still just lurking and hadn't paid my five bucks yet.

I was thinking exactly the same thing-- I know I was reading the site regularly since at least 2004 but apparently couldn't scrounge together $5 for two years.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:11 AM on February 21, 2013

shakespeherian: I was thinking exactly the same thing-- I know I was reading the site regularly since at least 2004 but apparently couldn't scrounge together $5 for two years.

I remember all sorts of stuff from the real early history of MeFi, but I guess I just thought of it as another aggregator that I checked on a semi-regular basis but didn't feel the need to actually join. I remember at one point wanting to join and being surprised and disappointed that signups were closed, but then I didn't exactly rush to become a Fi Dolla Noob either, so I don't really know what was going on there. It's strange how it sort of gradually insinuated itself into my life like that.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:25 AM on February 21, 2013

I have very vague memories of plastic.com (though the name immediately rang a bell) so am struggling to parse this. It was kind of like boingboing mashed up with reddit or something , right?

Pretty close. It was literally a smashup of Suck.com and slashdot.org.
posted by notyou at 6:48 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Another time indeed.
posted by freya_lamb at 8:09 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

The Pretty Flowers thread is one of my favorites, because I have had and loved their LP since its release in the 1980s. It is hilarious, deliberately offensive noise ("Mom, I gave the Cat Some Acid") which I interpreted at the time as something akin to trolling the rest of the late eighties noise rock world.

The thread here was something equivalent to their music, and I cherished it even at the time as a work of art and extension of their oeuvre.
posted by mwhybark at 8:29 AM on February 21, 2013

Oh, even better: for all these years, I have had Pretty Flowers conflated with Happy Flowers.

"Mom, I gave the cat some acid."
posted by mwhybark at 8:45 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Memories, of the way we were...

*sniff*
posted by entropicamericana at 10:53 AM on February 21, 2013

Also, perhaps the greatest thing about the Pretty Flowers thread is how I remember both the band's name and the bassist with perfect clarity

What I realized upon re-reading the thread is that to this day, despite my dim recall of the thread, when one of my dogs or friends does something especially annoying and/or cute, I'll sometimes respond by gazing at them affectionately and murmuring parki's immortal words: "I hate you Roger."
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:17 PM on February 21, 2013

Worth it just for Bradlands comment (RIP):

I hereby claim this thread and all its riches for the honor and glory of myself and my heirs.


posted by bradlands at 1:33 AM on July 9, 2001 [+] [!]
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:43 PM on February 21, 2013

Speaking of threads that haven't been updated, Brad's is still up.
posted by Melismata at 2:05 PM on February 21, 2013

Wth I missed the edit window, I meant web sites that haven't been updated.
posted by Melismata at 2:10 PM on February 21, 2013

Can someone tell me why facetious favourited every single one of the first few hundred comments in the mushroom post?
posted by salishsea at 4:29 PM on February 21, 2013

Also, codacorolla, +1 for your tags here!
posted by salishsea at 4:30 PM on February 21, 2013

jonmc, you little f*%?r, it is DAMN good to see you!
posted by eriko at 5:02 PM on February 21, 2013

salishsea: "Can someone tell me why facetious favourited every single one of the first few hundred comments in the mushroom post?"

Well, that's easy - because we're limited to 100 favorites per day, and after a few days facetious probably figured the point was made.
posted by koeselitz at 5:37 PM on February 21, 2013

People's little blind spots due to ignorance always kind of make me giggle now. I have a doozy of an example, too! When I was in college, I got a job working as a line cook at the little restaurant in our student center, which was not as good an idea as it sounds. I was very green. The first night I worked, someone asked for a BLT, which was something I had never heard of before. I looked at the description quickly, and ended up cooking the person up a bacon cheeseburger. I was quickly fired from that job, I think for obvious reasons!

The other shoe on that particular bit of brilliance didn't drop until I was was watching The Princess Bride maybe six months later, at the "mutton, lettuce and tomato" line.
posted by Deoridhe at 8:14 PM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

In Australia, tuna melts don't really exist, and chicken salad is chicken with salad in it. On the other hand, in America an iced coffee is coffee with ice in it, not coffee with ice cream. Its annoying on both sides!
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:20 PM on February 21, 2013

This thread was on the front page the first time I clicked through from AskMe to the main page. I was so confused.
posted by kjs4 at 2:30 AM on February 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is weird; I mentioned the same thread in a comment the day after this MeTa without having seen this.

And for those of you who enjoy exotic produce like figs, rhubarb, and leeks, the International Federation for Produce Standards has a handy search form for PLU codes that you can look up from your smartphone to help your befuddled cashier out.
posted by TedW at 7:21 AM on February 22, 2013 [2 favorites]

Ah jonmc is back. I was wondering why I hadn't been chewed out for using British slang / listening to bad music / not being jonmc in a while. Hooray!
posted by lazaruslong at 7:50 AM on February 22, 2013

Metafilter: I really do hate to be snarky here
posted by Autumn at 8:32 AM on February 22, 2013

I've been known to buy semi-obscure produce from time to time, and have never encountered any difficulty beyond the cashier asking me what it was, and taking me at my word. Never had anyone insist on verifying it with someone else, or finding the PLU code once they knew what it was.

With one exception, and I have to admit the fault is mine on that one:
Cashier [looks at bag of produce, then at me]: "Do you know what these are?"
Me [looks at bag]: "Um... I'm not sure."
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:38 AM on February 22, 2013

Let it never be said that bradland's illicit drug use is not well-formed XML.

.
posted by epersonae at 4:20 PM on February 22, 2013