Stumped August 6, 2013 6:17 PM   Subscribe

Whenever I talk to friends about MetaFilter they always relate it to Portland - does MetaFilter have a historical or philosophical association with Portland, or is it just a nice way of saying it's liberal and wordy?
posted by four panels to MetaFilter-Related at 6:17 PM (388 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

Wait!!! Metafilter is liberal???!!!!

I'll be damned, now it all makes sense.
posted by HuronBob at 6:23 PM on August 6, 2013 [6 favorites]


Well, Matt's lived on the far wine-country outskirts of Portland for a bunch of years now, and I live in town and pb's in the general geographic area. Plus there's some old-school mefites in town, and a number of internetty folks Matt knows are in town, and e.g. waxy's a long-timer who is very active with some on-the-same-wavelength stuff including the new XOXO conference he's started throwing.

Beyond that, who knows. People associate things with all kinds of things, I haven't personally noticed a lot of Metafilter-is-Portland, Portland-is-Metafilter stuff per se but I might not really have a reason to. What's water, asked the fish, etc.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:23 PM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


Didn't mathowie really grow the site while living there?
posted by xmutex at 6:24 PM on August 6, 2013


How's the lobster there?
posted by cjorgensen at 6:25 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh my god, we're plants in his garden.
posted by cashman at 6:25 PM on August 6, 2013 [7 favorites]


Seriously however... this and this should answer your question.
posted by HuronBob at 6:26 PM on August 6, 2013 [18 favorites]


I lied, I wasn't being serious at all with that.
posted by HuronBob at 6:27 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


How's the lobster there?

Hanging its head in shame besides the glory that is Dungeness Crab.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 6:30 PM on August 6, 2013 [18 favorites]


Its a general Stuff White People Like/hipstery in a genteel way vibe. Like MeFites are hipsters, but they're not the flashy kind, they're more riding around on fixies and making artisinal cheese and caring deeply about fonts. And many of the debates here could come from the bookstore sketches on Portlandia.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:44 PM on August 6, 2013 [16 favorites]


Like MeFites are hipsters, but they're not the flashy kind, they're more riding around on fixies and making artisinal cheese and caring deeply about fonts.

"Fixies?"
posted by zarq at 6:51 PM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]


"Fixies?"
posted by zarq


Oh God, don't get them started....
posted by HuronBob at 6:53 PM on August 6, 2013 [6 favorites]


"Fixies?"

Slang term for people who don't like Breaking Bad. As in, "fixies" is the opposite of "breakies."
posted by The World Famous at 6:54 PM on August 6, 2013 [82 favorites]


Well, some of us are the flashy kind.
posted by en forme de poire at 6:55 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


dang, you just spoiled the announcement of the "Breaking Bad" spin-off: "Fixing Flashy".
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:59 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'd always associated the site with New York, seeing how many of the most prolific commenters live there.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:04 PM on August 6, 2013 [11 favorites]


Techvibes Portland Start-Up Index - August 2008.
posted by unliteral at 7:07 PM on August 6, 2013


Not everyone here is a hipster.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:10 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


Some of us are way too old to be hipsters.
posted by octothorpe at 7:18 PM on August 6, 2013 [15 favorites]


Yup.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:19 PM on August 6, 2013


Some of us are way too old to be hipsters.

Which means you were doing whatever back when it was cool, before everyone else started doing it, you damn hipster.
posted by LionIndex at 7:20 PM on August 6, 2013 [17 favorites]


I think it's because the dream of the 90's is alive in Portland, and what with the minimal site layout and lack of images and gewgaws and such, Metafilter reminds people of the 90's on the internet.

The dream of the 90's internet is alive in Metafilter, is what I'm saying.
posted by Sara C. at 7:21 PM on August 6, 2013 [70 favorites]



Some of us are way too old to be hipsters.


You're the creepy old men at Burning Man who always complain about 'ageism'.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 7:22 PM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]


I would be the antonym of hipster except I tried a Pabst Blue Ribbon last month. And I LIKED it.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:24 PM on August 6, 2013 [15 favorites]


Why are you discussing us with your friends?! Don't be spreadin' our business around in real life.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:25 PM on August 6, 2013 [21 favorites]


A few years ago I had to yell at a couple of hipsters who had climbed up on the roof of my garage with a blanket and a bottle of wine. Felt like such an old man but the decking was all rotted and they could have fallen through.
posted by octothorpe at 7:34 PM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]


making artisinal cheese

Speak for yourself, I would probably never leave the house if I knew how to do this.
posted by cairdeas at 7:39 PM on August 6, 2013 [11 favorites]


Mefites are not hipsters.
posted by sweetkid at 7:45 PM on August 6, 2013



Mefites are not hipsters.


No, you're way too unique to be hipsters, despite having the same concerns as stereotypical hipsters. And some of us are geeks, or freaks, or Burners, or old ravers, or Bronies.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 7:46 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Say nothing of it to your acquaintances! Only those who are worthy of membership should become members and they will discover it for themselves if it is meant to be so.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:46 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


they're more riding around on fixies and making artisinal cheese and caring deeply about fonts

It's a good life. What can I say?
posted by octobersurprise at 7:46 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


actually... there are Mumford & Sons fans here, so not hipsters. you're right
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 7:47 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm old enough to need an artificial hipster. No, Siri, I didn't mean an artisinal hipster. That would be the end of the world snake eating itself type shit, and shame on you for thinking it.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:47 PM on August 6, 2013 [16 favorites]


Metafilter: Put a Bird on It?
posted by C'est la D.C. at 7:51 PM on August 6, 2013 [5 favorites]


"Fixies?"

Pothead fixies.
posted by Nomyte at 7:53 PM on August 6, 2013


Slang term for people who don't like Breaking Bad. As in, "fixies" is the opposite of "breakies."

Ah, thanks. I've never seen the show.
posted by zarq at 7:53 PM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


No, you're way too unique to be hipsters, despite having the same concerns as stereotypical hipsters. And some of us are geeks, or freaks, or Burners, or old ravers, or Bronies.

Posters.
posted by zarq at 7:54 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm hipster as fuck, fucker.
posted by planetesimal at 7:57 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also, is everyone going to let zarq get maliciously misinformed like that?
posted by planetesimal at 7:58 PM on August 6, 2013 [11 favorites]


Shhhh
posted by sweetkid at 8:04 PM on August 6, 2013 [15 favorites]


Though you neglected to mention, Chuckles, the localvore restaurants, the outdoor organic markets, the nanobrews and micro-batch bourbons, the art openings, the rare groove records, and the boutique labels, the vintage clothing and the handmade candles and everything else that makes the daily slog to the grave worthwhile.

Child, you need some living.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:06 PM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


Didn't mathowie really grow the site while living there?

Not really no. I mean I'm sure he'll come in with a timeline but during the early days he was in the Bay Area (I think?). I used to live in Seattle but have been in Vermont pretty much since I've been working here. I don't think I am a hipster. I am okay being wrong.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:09 PM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


CiS, you seriously just cannot quit this hipster thing.
posted by MoonOrb at 8:09 PM on August 6, 2013 [6 favorites]


It's especially weird to talk about "mefites" like you're not one.
posted by sweetkid at 8:12 PM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]


trust me, every bad thing I say is also about myself
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:15 PM on August 6, 2013


I was in Portland last year and it was everything I hoped it would be

no tax on beer and pad Thai in little carts with sides of pupusas

I am not a hipster but damn it, it was just so charming. Did not spy a single blue background whilst there though.
posted by jetlagaddict at 8:20 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Don't wear yourself out. We can do that for you.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:20 PM on August 6, 2013


I think the first big meetup was in Portland, but I'm old and likely mistaken.
posted by ColdChef at 8:27 PM on August 6, 2013


Artisanal.

(Why do I feel like I've made this exact comment before?)
posted by obliquicity at 8:28 PM on August 6, 2013 [12 favorites]


I dunno but glad you did. It's the work of an artisan. Sin has nothing to do with it.
posted by sweetkid at 8:34 PM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]


I was in Portland last month and some parts were charming, some what id call "brooklyn west," some yuppie, some suburban sprawly and some straight up druggy and creepy. People grabbing at me and all.

Some good, some ok, some kinda bad. I liked it but didn't come back raving.

LA on the other hand, you know I love you.
posted by sweetkid at 8:38 PM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


Aren't we we all just users here?
posted by oceanjesse at 8:39 PM on August 6, 2013


Shhhh

J'Accuse!
posted by zarq at 8:43 PM on August 6, 2013 [6 favorites]


trust me, every bad thing I say is also about myself

So?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:46 PM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'm just this guy, you know?
posted by Chrysostom at 8:48 PM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


They have come for your uncool niece.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:20 PM on August 6, 2013 [13 favorites]


trust me, every bad thing I say is also about myself

That doesn't make it okay for anybody, much less you.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:31 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


Some of my best friends are myself.
posted by The World Famous at 9:35 PM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


artisinal cheese is some kind of hipster sex position, right?
posted by mannequito at 9:38 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


You wouldn't have heard of hipster sex positions, because they're actually rather difficult and hipsters are surprisingly athletic.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:41 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


No ones really brought it up yet, but aren't there actually like an abnormally large with relation to the anywhere else number of users on here from portland? And aren't all the portland meetups the biggest? it seems like there's a portland meetup consistently way more often than there's one anywhere else too...

And many of the debates here could come from the bookstore sketches on Portlandia.

Tumblr is over there to the left CiS, not here. You might have gotten lost because the background is blue and everything is a bit minimal.
posted by emptythought at 9:44 PM on August 6, 2013



Tumblr is over there to the left CiS, not here. You might have gotten lost because the background is blue and everything is a bit minimal.


Seems this place is turning into Tumblr slowly, but many MetaTalks do remind me of the Portlandia bookstore.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 9:56 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


I liked MetaFilter before it was Tumblr.
posted by MoonOrb at 10:20 PM on August 6, 2013


trust me, every bad thing I say is also about myself

Every bad thing you think about yourself doesn't necessarily need to become something you repeatedly project on other people here, though. If you're really committed to some sort of arch self-loathing gig it's okay to just do it quietly in your own home, no one will judge you for that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:24 PM on August 6, 2013 [46 favorites]


"The dream of the 90's internet is alive in Metafilter." That is just about the best description of this place ever.
posted by pwally at 10:40 PM on August 6, 2013 [13 favorites]


Ok, so here's the difference between metafilter and tumblr. And there is a difference, tumblr isn't getting "overrun with stupid my way or the highway liberals" or whatever the usual attacks on tumblr are. And i'm not saying tumblr isn't an ass-half-full place at all. There's a whole lot of fucking morons on there from kids who just don't know any better but have the power of a mini internet hate machine to back them up and go YEA, IDENTITY SHAMER when you tell some kid that being transethnic or an otherkin isn't real or whatever.

No, metafilter has some of the most "hear both sides" and not even in a shitty devils advocate way discussion that i've really ever seen. Go look at say, this thread or this thread or the final Zimmerman/Martin thread. Yea, it can be frustrating and feel like "the other side is winning wahhh mom no fair!" when your team in the argument doesn't score a definitive touchdown, but how fucking boring is that when the entire discussion is a farce, and the whole thing is basically a game of super mario bros where you stomp all the goombas and get the goal you want?

No, tumblr sucks in a way that metafilter doesn't, and probably never will. It can be frustrating when it takes the discussion repeatedly to 101 levels, or when you get the same tired questions from different people over and over... But no one gets shut down the way they do on basically any other site i can think of where an opposing viewpoint gets something between "SHUT UP F****T" and "Here's why you're a terrible person and here's my 800 friends to bury you and silence your point".

Metafilter is not tumblr because on tumblr(or reddit, or whatever. any number of messageboards that existed before basically anything but metafilter) if you disagree you're done. On here you get actually debating without the same turbo pile ons because there's always several people to represent each team. And even if there's a majority opinion, the minority isn't like... two people. And there's no "this comment has received too many negative votes" type shit.

Your hobbyhorse is gonna need some more work if it's gonna compete in the indy 500 here.
posted by emptythought at 10:44 PM on August 6, 2013 [12 favorites]


I confess that the local 7-11 had only a six pack of Pabst and a case of Bud in stock when I felt the craving for a beer some weeks ago. I drank the PBR and I liked it. 6 weeks later as I write this I'm on the Oregon coast growing a beard and staying on an organic farm. For some reason I now own flannel, a hoodie and suspenders. What happened to me.
posted by humanfont at 10:47 PM on August 6, 2013 [5 favorites]


But no one gets shut down the way they do on basically any other site i can think of where an opposing viewpoint gets something between "SHUT UP F****T" and "Here's why you're a terrible person and here's my 800 friends to bury you and silence your point".

which is kinda weird when there are self-evidently wrong viewpoints that get an airing



"The dream of the 90's internet is alive in Metafilter."


even though i switched from Slashdot to MeFi somewhere around 9/11 I still don't know what that means... what i remember of the 90s Internet was Newgrounds and Portal of Evil
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:48 PM on August 6, 2013


and my comparision to the Portlandia bookstore sketch was the whole 'lower your voice' and constant reaching for some sort of enlightened consensus
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:50 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Big butts are good.
posted by planetesimal at 10:52 PM on August 6, 2013


We're okay we don't have a unicycle guy, yet.
posted by The Whelk at 10:52 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


CiS, i think what i kinda missed getting through there is that the REALLY worthless discussion don't even get the light of day here. Notice no one in that thread was really arguing "why don't white people get to say the N word?" for instance(although that WORDS ONLY HAVE THE POWER YOU ASSIGN TO THEM! shit got dangerously close). Totally junk discussions get shut down by the mods.

But, just because you don't agree with the other side doesn't mean it's not an argument or discussion worth having. I've seen some brilliantly put together, thoughtful responses from opposing sides of viewpoints i have come up here that really made me consider the other sides point when it wasn't just someone shouting UR WRONG AND U SHOULD FEEL BAD DICKBUT like i've gotten a lot other places.
posted by emptythought at 10:53 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]



We're okay we don't have a unicycle guy, yet.


I'd be surprised if SOMEBODY here didn't unicycle or wasn't the guy who went to circus camp.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:55 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


some what id call "brooklyn west,"

I asked someone on a recent visit to describe Portland and he said "it's like if Brooklyn was a city" and then I said Brooklyn is a city, actually the 3rd largest city in the US, and was independently a city for a hundred years and then he got a confused look on his face and changed the subject.
posted by The Whelk at 10:55 PM on August 6, 2013 [9 favorites]


We're okay we don't have a unicycle guy, yet.

We could do worse.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:57 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


...man San Fransisco got so shafted on the tax-base front, all the other cities where grabbing and incorporating their bedroom communities and industrial suburbs in a bid to be The Biggest and poor SF was a pile of rubble surrounded by fields at the time.
posted by The Whelk at 10:58 PM on August 6, 2013


Huge fucking donuts.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:58 PM on August 6, 2013


And as for the lower your voice thing, i think we got some pretty good pushback on that type of crap in here and many other times.

You may have personally been told to give it a rest, but that doesn't mean there's some PC POLICE OMG LETS TALK LIKE HIPPIES thing going on. A lot of people here don't agree with that, and the mods have repeatedly said there is no standard of such. I haven't even seen anything like that.

The only times people get told to settle down are when they're seriously getting way too angry or obstinate and repeatedly jackhammer on some point despite everyone saying "dude, we get it, we just don't agree with you"(i think you can see that happen in both the threads i linked in my previous post, too, hah).

The only people i see making some point about there being some bookstore type "lower your voice" shit going on here are people who have flown off the handle and gotten weird. And uh, i've seen you do that. Just because you got told to cool it doesn't mean there's some tiresome shit going on here.
posted by emptythought at 10:59 PM on August 6, 2013


But Brooklyn hasn't been its own city since the 19th Century.
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:00 PM on August 6, 2013


That's when The Whelk is writing to us from.
posted by bleep-blop at 11:01 PM on August 6, 2013 [15 favorites]


All I know about things is from serialized television dramas so I assume the entire pacific northwest is nothing but paranormal investigators staring into the misty pine woodland while contemplating a strange murder case.
posted by The Whelk at 11:02 PM on August 6, 2013 [15 favorites]


Ah, ok. Didn't realize NYC internet was that good.
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:02 PM on August 6, 2013


I use that typewriter and mirror thing from Fringe to post comments.
posted by The Whelk at 11:03 PM on August 6, 2013 [9 favorites]


I used to be in Brooklyn.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 11:03 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


Halfway between Portland and Brooklyn: on average, Metafilter is Omaha.

Here's the reigning king of the unicycle hipsters riding through the forest playing the "Lost Woods" song from the game Zelda: Ocarina of Time on an accordion. How can you hate hipsters after that?
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:15 PM on August 6, 2013 [6 favorites]


Fun fact: that guy is from Seattle, and regularly plays Erik Satié and other interesting stuff on his accordion outside of various shops on broadway. In fact there's an active medium-length comment chain about him on a friends facebook status right now, where it turns out various people i know actually know him o_0
posted by emptythought at 11:22 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


I've seen people with his facial hair before.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 11:25 PM on August 6, 2013


"The dream of the 90's internet is alive in Metafilter." That is just about the best description of this place ever.

It is!!!! There should be a song...
posted by cairdeas at 11:27 PM on August 6, 2013


Metatalk can be such a cognitive dissonance factory sometimes. Individuals with a hegemonic posting style get both negative and positive reinforcement for their endless blathering. It is what it is, just noting.
posted by planetesimal at 11:31 PM on August 6, 2013 [14 favorites]


I'm not even completely sure what that comment meant plantesimal, but I love it.
posted by cairdeas at 11:34 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


That was the worst comment ever. Please make more like it.
posted by The World Famous at 11:43 PM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]


And here I thought all y'all lived in Brooklyn.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:44 PM on August 6, 2013


hegemonic posting style

I'd been wondering what to call the relentless "this thread will be about what I want it to be about and I will say whatever I have to to keep it focused on that" tactic. Some people use the word "trolling" but it is both more and less than that -- I think we need to avoid diluting that word and keep it confined to the narrower "provocation" definition or it'll become useless. I'm not sure "hegemonic" -- if that's what you meant by it -- is right though: it seems hyperbolic and a bit silly, almost like calling someone a megalomaniac commenter. Still, perhaps there's a term for it.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:45 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


the meaning of trolling has already been ruined by the "I TROLL U LOL" kids of the internet though, it basically doesn't mean anything anymore. A lot like how white knight just means "Anyone who calls me a misogynist" in the modern day, depending on how much of a dong the person you're speaking to is.
posted by emptythought at 11:49 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


jessamyn: "I don't think I am a hipster. "

You are definitely not a hipster.
posted by scrump at 12:44 AM on August 7, 2013


A lot like how white knight just means "Anyone who calls me a misogynist"

I've never run into that, but there aren't five places outside Metafilter where I can even stand to read the comments on any kind of regular basis. But it's interesting how that one, partial sentence carries such huge freight of implication -- I can readily reconstruct a ton of background from it with a pretty high degree of confidence. Or at least a subjectively persuasive verisimilitude.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:45 AM on August 7, 2013


Slang term for people who don't like Breaking Bad. As in, "fixies" is the opposite of "breakies."

Ah, thanks. I've never seen the show.


That would make you a "nixie," then, I suppose.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:12 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I would love to make artisanal cheese. Sadly, I lack the necessary cellar. I can make simple stuff, bocconcini, mozzarella, curds, etc., but it seems temperature control over several months is really the way to go, and it gets quite hot here.
posted by Wolof at 2:27 AM on August 7, 2013


no tax on beer and pad Thai in little carts with sides of pupusas

If you change that to "puppies" (which is EXACTLY what I originally read (it's early, my glasses are dirty, haven't had any coffee yet)), the concept is terrifying.
posted by HuronBob at 2:31 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Halfway between Portland and Brooklyn: on average, Metafilter is Omaha.

I think the place you are overlooking is Minneapolis. It is the best place you have ever overlooked.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:49 AM on August 7, 2013 [16 favorites]


I'd be surprised if SOMEBODY here didn't unicycle or wasn't the guy who went to circus camp.

Hi!

(I haven't ridden one in a couple of years, and wasn't great even then. But there are at least a handful of jugglers and purveyors of vaguely circusy arts on MeFi, and it looks like at least two of us went to the European Juggling Convention when it was in Munich.)
posted by metaBugs at 3:29 AM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


So, being ignorant of pretty much all geography, be it my own nation or, heaven forbid, America (true story, I thought for yeeears that Vietnam was in South America. I knew it had jungles in it, and America was at war there, so I figured it just made more sense, right?) I just googled Portland. Portland isn't on the coast? What the hell? Who names a city Portland when it doesn't have a port (well I guess it does, but not a proper coastal one anyway)! I imagine it was named after the Island of Portland back in blighty, but that is, you know... a portland.
posted by Cannon Fodder at 3:41 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


It was named after Portland, Maine. It's not even, like, the authentic Portland. Posers.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 3:51 AM on August 7, 2013 [11 favorites]


The something something of the 90's


True, not that there was anything wrong with that.
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:01 AM on August 7, 2013


Hey river ports are real ports.
posted by octothorpe at 4:08 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


I like Portland, it reminds me of Melbourne. River, bridges, and a suburb called Hawthorne.
posted by Kerasia at 4:28 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


And the Maine Portland was named after the island off the coast of England, so vicariously Oregon Portland was named after Dorset Portland.
posted by Kattullus at 4:28 AM on August 7, 2013


Notice no one in that thread was really arguing "why don't white people get to say the N word?" for instance(although that WORDS ONLY HAVE THE POWER YOU ASSIGN TO THEM! shit got dangerously close). Totally junk discussions get shut down by the mods.

Two people did something similar to this in the Joe Groh Philly Cheesesteak thread yesterday, throwing the whole thread into a huge uproar. The worst offender was given a day off by Jessamyn after complaining that he can no longer say he "Jewed someone down" without being attacked, and isn't it awful that thanks to political correctness, our mighty and proud White American culture is now so plastic and homogenous that in modern American society you're not allowed you to call minorities racial slurs any more.

As you pointed out, the mods don't let that garbage stand for long. Which is good, and perhaps in some cases also bad. I think culling his views -- and most of the responses, including a superb one by gauche that it was a shame to lose -- may be self-defeating at times. it probably won't prevent the person from trying again later on. So this could be another headache for the mods down the road.

But it defused the immediate problem quite effectively. The system works very well in that regard.
posted by zarq at 4:30 AM on August 7, 2013 [8 favorites]


Matt Howie! I'm with you in Portland
  where you're bluer than I am
I'm with you in Portland
  where you must feel strange
I'm with you in Portland
  where trolls intimate things on your mother
I'm with you in Portland
  where you laugh at this obscure in-joke
I'm with you in Portland
  where we are great writers on the same professional white background
I'm with you in Portland
  where your condition has become serious and is beanplated on the grey
...
posted by ianso at 4:34 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


I like Portland, it reminds me of Melbourne. River, bridges, and a suburb called Hawthorne

Yes! It reminded me of Melbourne! Which I also went to this year, world traveler me. It's a seedier Melbourne.
posted by sweetkid at 4:50 AM on August 7, 2013


Hey, CiS, I really think you are underestimating the variety of people who post here.

I am a stay-at-home mom of 2 in Lincoln, Nebraska. I buy my clothes at Target during grocery shopping trips. I listen to Top 40 radio. I drive a Chevy Impala with room for two car seats and a double stroller. I live in a nice split level house with a not-so-nice lawn. I voted for Obama but I've never made my own cheese.

This place is not just a sea of hipsters with a few token conservatives. It's just... people.
posted by that's how you get ants at 4:55 AM on August 7, 2013 [53 favorites]


I like Portland, it reminds me of Melbourne
For a long time I've had a vision of Portland as some kind of nirvana where everyone and everything's so ultra cool. You just ruined that for me.
posted by dg at 5:11 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I am a stay-at-home mom of 2 in Lincoln, Nebraska. I buy my clothes at Target during grocery shopping trips. I listen to Top 40 radio. I drive a Chevy Impala with room for two car seats and a double stroller. I live in a nice split level house with a not-so-nice lawn. I voted for Obama but I've never made my own cheese.

GTFO.
posted by mullacc at 5:27 AM on August 7, 2013


Yeah, word, what's up with that, ants? Does the Family Thrift Center smell like industrial detergent? Is there something about Grant Gerlock and Ariana Brocious' voices that rubs you the wrong way? Did you have a bad experience at DuTeau Subaru?

Come on, join the hegemony!
posted by box at 5:32 AM on August 7, 2013


I was going to say that I've never made cheese, but actually I have. I mean, it was paneer, so it was super easy, but, still. And I haven't owned a fixed gear bicycle since I was old enough for a 5-speed, but I did ride an antique internal hub 3-speed whose workings and wheels were rebuilt by a blind zen bicycle repairman. So... am I in or not?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:33 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


GTFO.

What, you don't believe her? Maybe my sarcasm radar is miscalibrated today but please understand that when people try to point out the diversity of backgrounds represented on this site, this kind of response may not help propagate that notion.

Unless you were just riffing in the cheese line, in which case I'll apologize and move on. That rennet in the shed isn't going to check on itself, after all.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 5:37 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I mean, it was paneer, so it was super easy, but, still.

I tried making paneer once and it didn't turn out right at all.
posted by curious nu at 5:38 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Really?, It's not much beyond simmering milk and an acid (I used lemon juice, if I recall) + a bit of weighting and straining while you are cooking the saag. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I probably wouldn't do it again, but it was fun to watch the milk "solidify" in to the curd.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:47 AM on August 7, 2013


Seattle reminds me of Melbourne a lot more than Portland. Like, there were parts of Seattle where I felt like I could turn a corner and find myself in Melbourne. I had the same feeling in Montreal. It was like they were alternate reality versions of each other.

If we ever discover that we're all just living in some kind of hastily assembled computer simulation of reality, I'll say: "Dammit! I knew these cities were just rushed copies of each other."
posted by Kattullus at 5:48 AM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


If we ever discover that we're all just living in some kind of hastily assembled computer simulation of reality, I'll say: "Dammit! I knew these cities were just rushed copies of each other."

God lord! We are inside of MetaFilter! There is no phenominal world! Only FPPs and comments! The deleted are damned!

*pant, pant* OK, I am going to lay off the ancient Greek Skeptics for a bit, I think.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:59 AM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


MetaFilter can come off as aggressively hip because of how diverse its users are, but it's not at all a hipster site. I mean, a large constituency consists of IT people, who aren't always known for their hipster emblemification.

Also CiS told me recently that I have to stop aggressively fetishizing youth and coolness, so I halfway suspect he's been using a mirror for a computer monitor recently. Pretty much all his comments make more sense if you assume he's talking to/arguing with himself.
posted by Rory Marinich at 5:59 AM on August 7, 2013 [12 favorites]


It's just... people.

Soylent blue?
posted by Gygesringtone at 6:00 AM on August 7, 2013 [9 favorites]


mullacc, in case it wins me any points we long ago sold our second car so my husband could bike to work every day.

He is an actuary, though.
posted by that's how you get ants at 6:12 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also CiS told me recently that I have to stop aggressively fetishizing youth and coolness

*cue mental image of a rotund, bearded man wearing royal finery (complete with crown) above the waist and a pair of baggy gray sweatpants that say "JUICY" across the ass below, pointing forbiddingly at his lawn and then gesturing for the guards to hurl you into the dungeon*
posted by zarq at 6:18 AM on August 7, 2013 [14 favorites]


"The dream of the 90's internet is alive in Metafilter."

even though i switched from Slashdot to MeFi somewhere around 9/11 I still don't know what that means...



Relevant video.

2nd relevant video.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:22 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Mefites are not hipsters.

No, you're way too unique to be hipsters, despite having the same concerns as stereotypical hipsters. And some of us are geeks, or freaks, or Burners, or old ravers, or Bronies.


What about squares? Can't some of us try to be square?
posted by Area Man at 6:23 AM on August 7, 2013


mullacc, in case it wins me any points we long ago sold our second car so my husband could bike to work every day.

He is an actuary, though.


An actuary who bikes to work? Hasn't he seen the life expectancy tables on that?
posted by mullacc at 6:23 AM on August 7, 2013 [6 favorites]


who aren't always known for their hipster emblemification.

That is a very diplomatic way of putting that.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:28 AM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


dang, you just spoiled the announcement of the "Breaking Bad" spin-off: "Fixing Flashy".

Not that I believe it, but this site claims there are talks for a spin-off: Better Call Saul
posted by cjorgensen at 6:36 AM on August 7, 2013


What about squares? Can't some of us try to be square?

But don't you see? Don't you see?

It's hip to be square.

(cue Huey Lewis cover of "O Fortuna.")
posted by griphus at 6:42 AM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]



Also CiS told me recently that I have to stop aggressively fetishizing youth and coolness, so I halfway suspect he's been using a mirror for a computer monitor recently. Pretty much all his comments make more sense if you assume he's talking to/arguing with himself.


haha! perfect.

no you do not fetishize "youth and coolness" Rory.
posted by sweetkid at 6:44 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


But don't you see? Don't you see?

It's hip to be square.

(cue Huey Lewis cover of "O Fortuna.")


I could tie this together with the music swap by making a mix of Huey Lewis covers. Other people covering him (it must happen, right?) and covers he and the News have recorded.
posted by Area Man at 6:52 AM on August 7, 2013


I agree that Seattle is the better Melbourne analogue. So don't give up on Portland, dg! Me, I clearly need to visit Montreal.
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:05 AM on August 7, 2013


Whenever someone talks about Portland, I always default to Maine.

'Cause why would I do anything else? Why would anyone do anything else?

Ergo, when referring to that other Portland, people need to start using the state abbreviation after so we're clear that it's that other Portland being referenced, mm'kay?
posted by zizzle at 7:13 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I am a hipster. Proof.
posted by josher71 at 7:20 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]



I agree that Seattle is the better Melbourne analogue. So don't give up on Portland, dg!

What? What's wrong with Melbourne?
posted by sweetkid at 7:22 AM on August 7, 2013


I guess I need to jump in here and acknowledge that I've made cheese a number of times. That's likely to continue until I learn to watch the "best used by" dates on the milk cartons.
posted by HuronBob at 7:24 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


I am a stay-at-home mom of 2 in Lincoln, Nebraska. I buy my clothes at Target during grocery shopping trips. I listen to Top 40 radio. I drive a Chevy Impala with room for two car seats and a double stroller. I live in a nice split level house with a not-so-nice lawn. I voted for Obama but I've never made my own cheese.

Wow, that is just so ironic. You may be the hippest one of all.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:26 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Montreal has one thing over every other city - a stalwart refusal to give a damn about anything above a bemused shrug. Is it just francophone hauteur? No one is as unfazed by things as a Montrealitian.

Portland Maine is fun and all (and full of fun Mefites!) but a quick drive south brings you to Portsmouth, home to the brilliant Smuttynose brewing company, which gets its name from an island in the bay which is most famous for being the site of the gruesome axe murder of an entire family by someone who rowed out to the island in the dead of night with no illumination. The only way to get to it now is to take a ferry and then row yourself. There are some ruins if that floats your boat. There's also an abandoned Naval prison on another island, but I think the currents are too strong for your average kayak.
posted by The Whelk at 7:29 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


sweetkid: "Yes! It reminded me of Melbourne! Which I also went to this year, world traveler me. It's a seedier Melbourne."

Portland is seedy? I've only been there once but it seemed all shiny and well kept to me. All the stores were open, the sidewalks were in decent repair, the traffic lights worked and the bridges didn't look like they were about to fall into the river. I must have a much higher bar for seedy or I just didn't find the right places.
posted by octothorpe at 7:41 AM on August 7, 2013


aren't there actually like an abnormally large with relation to the anywhere else number of users on here from portland? And aren't all the portland meetups the biggest?

You are thinking of New York.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 7:48 AM on August 7, 2013


I've made my own cheese, pickles, jam and bread and I keep chickens, but I never learned how to ride a bicycle and I'm 42.

What AM I???
posted by Sophie1 at 7:51 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Depends on what you call seedy and what you call Portland, yeah. Downtown is pretty hopping and well-kept at this point and even the sketchy old industrial district in Northwest has been pretty throughly converted into new development upscale biz-and-lifestyle stuff (good but pricy restaurants, a billion new condos), so if you're not wandering around the clubs on Burnside or our tiny, tiny Chinatown area late at night there's not much to be skeezed out on the rough end of the spectrum. Get out to e.g. Felony Flats or up to the far edge of NW where there's still some proper abandoned warehouses and there's more to go on there, though. It's a metro area, it's got a spectrum.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:53 AM on August 7, 2013




(cue Huey Lewis cover of "O Fortuna.")

I knew this didn't exist with 99.9% of my brain, but my overwhelming desire for this to exist made me search for it anyway.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:58 AM on August 7, 2013 [12 favorites]


Sophie1: "What AM I???"

The person who posted a recipe that makes an awesome zucchini bread?

Seriously, my family loves it. Thank you. :)
posted by zarq at 7:58 AM on August 7, 2013 [11 favorites]


Thanks zarq! (I freaking love that zucchini bread!)
posted by Sophie1 at 8:01 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


What do you expect when you call your neighborhood Felony Flats.

I mean really.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 8:04 AM on August 7, 2013


Thank YOU!

I usually can't stand raw or cooked zucchini, cucumbers and pickles. But that bread... holy cow. I could eat it constantly.
posted by zarq at 8:05 AM on August 7, 2013


What do you expect when you call your neighborhood Felony Flats.

Sorry, lazy habit, not actual malice. Sub "outer Southeast" and please accept a hug of apology.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:06 AM on August 7, 2013


Slang term for people who don't like Breaking Bad. As in, "fixies" is the opposite of "breakies."

That's not what was meant by fixies and you know it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:10 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sure it is.
posted by sweetkid at 8:11 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


And yeah, made my own cheese (once), jam (regularly), bread (once in a while), pickles (once), yogurt (a few times), granola (once, and I should again), and crackers (once), and I knit and am figuring out how to sew, but I shop just as much in Macys as I do in the Salvation Army, and I only just this summer got an iPad.

I think the food stuff is probably a grandfathered-in thing, though, because I was doing that kinda foodie shit 20 years ago.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:15 AM on August 7, 2013


All grandparents with appreciable cooking skills are implicitly from portland. It's the law.
posted by ead at 8:36 AM on August 7, 2013


please accept a hug of apology

But now my joke has lost all of its paltry-to-begin-with humor value. :(
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 8:36 AM on August 7, 2013


YOU'LL HUG AND YOU'LL LIKE IT
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:37 AM on August 7, 2013 [10 favorites]


Is there a list of MetaFilter recipes somewhere? I have a vague recollection that this was a thing.
posted by jonnyploy at 8:43 AM on August 7, 2013


Wasn't Felony Flats one of Dick Tracy's nemeses?
posted by octobersurprise at 8:52 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


jonnyploy, the closest I know of is EatMe on the wiki.
posted by zarq at 8:53 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I been doing this all wrong. I grew a mustache and started rocking those red capri pants, and I look super ridiculous. Now I gotta care about fonts too? That is just too much.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:57 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Helvetica is other people, Ad hom.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:00 AM on August 7, 2013 [21 favorites]


Frutiger 4 lyfe!
posted by Ad hominem at 9:02 AM on August 7, 2013


You wouldn't have heard of hipster sex positions, because they're actually rather difficult and hipsters are surprisingly athletic.

Wait, hipsters have sex? Well I'll be damned.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:04 AM on August 7, 2013


MoonOrb: I liked MetaFilter before it was Tumblr.

I don't know. I kind of like MetaTumblr.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:06 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wow, that is just so ironic. You may be the hippest one of all.

Today we started ironic potty training. I keep putting him on the potty and providing dry underwear but the audience knows he's just going to piss on the floor as soon as my back is turned.
posted by that's how you get ants at 9:16 AM on August 7, 2013 [17 favorites]


You know, I used to think (back in 2003 or so) that being a hipster was cool. As in, I self-identified as a hipster. Thank goodness the internet disabused me of that notion.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:23 AM on August 7, 2013


I used to be in Brooklyn.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants


No shit, sherlock. At least you don't post about Australia anymore.
posted by Aizkolari at 9:24 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Frutiger 4 lyfe!

Pffft, that's nothing. I only use lovingly hand-tuned typefaces from an small foundry based out of Buenos Aires.

actually that's not really a joke i really do use them
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:27 AM on August 7, 2013


Hunh--I always figured Metafilter's was born and bred in San Francisco.
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 9:29 AM on August 7, 2013


As you pointed out, the mods don't let that garbage stand for long. Which is good, and perhaps in some cases also bad. I think culling his views -- and most of the responses, including a superb one by gauche that it was a shame to lose -- may be self-defeating at times. it probably won't prevent the person from trying again later on. So this could be another headache for the mods down the road.

But it defused the immediate problem quite effectively. The system works very well in that regard.


Have you ever been a moderator on a messageboard before? or a big IRC channel? Everything is a cost benefit analysis. There is no call you can make that won't get a bunch of people riled up and going "why the fuck did you do that?" in email or private messages or even in the original thread. Or maybe they'll go make another thread about your deletion(haha getting meta in MeTa).

A lot of times it's a damned if you do damned if you don't thing. And i've never dealt with a site that had more than a couple hundred active people on it. MeFi has freaking thousands and one well crafted, intentionally or not outrage inducing post can start generating like 30 replies an hour in a big thread.

I'll also add that this is one of the only sites i've ever been on where mods don't just ban people because they annoy them, or personally don't like or whatever. And also one of the only ones where there's a meaningful appeals process about deletions, bannings, etc and you can have a discourse that isn't really bullshit RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAE "because i said so" kinda garbage with the staff. That's depressingly rare.

I think the system works pretty well in general honestly. It would be really easy to make a sarcastic but true thing like that "Female Experience Simulator"(which was actually kinda garbage, but anyways...) that was just "Messageboard Moderator Simulator 2004". Every option would be the wrong one in the sense that a bunch of people would flip out and call you a F****T no matter what you did.
posted by emptythought at 9:36 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


There is some pretty well crafted trolling here.

There is no way all the "Jay Smooth says X, you got a problem with Jay Smooth?" isn't pro level trolling.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:40 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


The Whelk: "Portland Maine is fun and all (and full of fun Mefites!) but a quick drive south brings you to Portsmouth, home to the brilliant Smuttynose brewing company, which gets its name from an island in the bay which is most famous for being the site of the gruesome axe murder of an entire family by someone who rowed out to the island in the dead of night with no illumination. The only way to get to it now is to take a ferry and then row yourself. There are some ruins if that floats your boat. There's also an abandoned Naval prison on another island, but I think the currents are too strong for your average kayak."

On the plus side, if you drive a little further south into MA you'll get to Innsmouth, which I've heard has some exquisite seafood in light of the burgeoning arts and culinary scene there, though I understand that there's some friction between the locals and that set.
posted by invitapriore at 9:40 AM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


30 replies an hour in a big thread.

When the Marathon Bomber Manhunt was going on and not yet resolved, that thread was seeing a comment basically every 5-10 seconds.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:43 AM on August 7, 2013


what does it say about me that I'm really excited about a story about hipsters coming face-to-face with Lovecraftian horrors in post-industrial New England related entirely via snippets of the NYT Styles section
posted by invitapriore at 9:44 AM on August 7, 2013 [9 favorites]


That sounds awesome as long as it involves cronuts and someone who quit a 500k a year job to run a haunted b&b.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:45 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


the craft fair out of space

at the farmer's market of madness
posted by The Whelk at 9:55 AM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


Wait, is it young arty types who buy the haunted B&B or ex-professional rich NYers? Cause one is kinda like Scooby Doo and the other is Beetleuice.
posted by The Whelk at 9:57 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Pickman's Etsy Model.
posted by gauche at 9:57 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Vogel's pondered the dead body in the Pink Victorian bedroom, its face frozen in a rictus of unspeakable horror.

"This is seriously going to undermine our charming retro New England aesthetic."

"On the other hand we might get on the ghost tour."
posted by The Whelk at 9:58 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'd be surprised if SOMEBODY here didn't unicycle or wasn't the guy who went to circus camp

I used to unicycle and have helped run the British Juggling Convention a good few times, which is pretty much Circus Camp for grownups.
posted by emilyw at 9:59 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I dunno.. I think maybe arty types open a b&b in a New England steel town. Rich NYers see it in the style section and come for leaf peeping, Only to peep into an abyss of horror.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:00 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Maybe Rich NYers open a b&b. Opening weekend a writer from the NYT style section and a hipster from Vice come to write a review. End up reviewing a lovecraftian abyss of horror.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:02 AM on August 7, 2013


emptythought: "Have you ever been a moderator on a messageboard before?

Yes. And one small online community.

or a big IRC channel?

Yes.

Everything is a cost benefit analysis.

Yes.

There is no call you can make that won't get a bunch of people riled up and going "why the fuck did you do that?" in email or private messages or even in the original thread. Or maybe they'll go make another thread about your deletion(haha getting meta in MeTa).

Please understand that my comment was not a criticism of the mods. I was not trying to say or imply that they're making bad decisions.

Metafilter's mods have made a decision to focus on the short-term benefits of thread cleanup and pruning in the hope that it will gently correct behavioural problems over the long term, rather than directly addressing each and every issue with problem users and taking more aggressive action to try and permanently prevent long-term problems. I appreciate and agree with this tactic.

Many people who have said vile shit around here eventually did so once too often and got their asses banned. Not everyone. Some people have made a habit of saying things that basically go right up to the line but not over it. Others just say provocative things and ignore the ensuing uproar. Others have learned to fit in. We're a diverse community.

It would be easier for the mods and make for a smoother community culture if the moderation style was to quickly ban people earlier for saying vile shit. But this place works differently, and the mods have made a conscious choice to run metafilter that way. Which may be harder for them in the long run, but I think it makes for a stronger community. The mods give people the benefit of the doubt and acknowledge that sometimes, they have bad days or are fighting their own battles that have nothing to do with the site. They deal with people who are disruptive and try to get them to work within this community rather than shutting them down completely and kicking them out. This is a good thing. It treats people as what they are: complex creatures who can learn from their mistakes and benefit from outside perspectives. And it takes every case individually. I actually really, really appreciate this place for the way it's run and moderated -- not the least bit because I've directly benefited from it in the past on multiple occasions.

But it's definitely a moderation choice. And there are at least a couple of disadvantages to it. Personally, I don't think they outweigh the benefits.
posted by zarq at 10:03 AM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


The food at the farmer's market is all disturbing and wrong and all the rich tourists just think its "heirloom" and quaint.
posted by The Whelk at 10:05 AM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'd be surprised if SOMEBODY here didn't unicycle or wasn't the guy who went to circus camp

I was an all-state mime champion in high school. But that was in Iowa. Surprisingly, now that I live in Portland, the mime scene here is pretty small comparatively. Who would have guessed?

Interestingly, I would not really describe any of the Portland mefites as hipsters, with maybe the exception of the mystery man.
posted by Lutoslawski at 10:10 AM on August 7, 2013


Dagon worshippers protest noise ordinances introduced by the new city council slate.
posted by invitapriore at 10:11 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


The local diner is like 40% paranormal investigators by volume.
posted by The Whelk at 10:12 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Don't even get me started on how alternate dimension parking is a giant pain in the ass.
posted by griphus at 10:13 AM on August 7, 2013


And now, the weather.
posted by The Whelk at 10:15 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


> The food at the farmer's market is all disturbing and wrong and all the rich tourists just think its "heirloom" and quaint.

Ooh, that reminds me, I've got some punk rock tomatoes and cucumbers in my kitchen wanting to be something awesome. Maybe gazpacho.
posted by desuetude at 10:17 AM on August 7, 2013


... I make home made artisanal cheese. It looks like shit, but I thought I"d put that out there. I, of course, have been demographically formulated to represent ~80% of users of this site.
posted by Think_Long at 10:17 AM on August 7, 2013


I'd be surprised if SOMEBODY here didn't unicycle

Yep.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:18 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Total derail: jessamyn, what's up with the For Great Justice tumblr? No updates in a long time.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:22 AM on August 7, 2013


A few days ago, while walking the block and a half from my parking space to my office in L.A., I was passed by a guy in a suit and tie riding a self-balancing motor unicycle thing at what I can only describe as an unsafe speed. I think that captures pretty well some of the differences between Los Angeles and Portland.
posted by The World Famous at 10:23 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I am doing a wedding this weekend so I will update it. I got burned out and then winter sort of wrapped up and I got reallife busy again.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:23 AM on August 7, 2013


I've made my own cheese, pickles, jam and bread and I keep chickens, but I never learned how to ride a bicycle and I'm 42.

What AM I???



When I turned 42 a couple of years ago, I told my friends I would finally know the answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. This wound up becoming true, though in surprising and ultimately life-changing (good) ways.

Also, you need to learn how to ride a bike. What would happen if you accidentally fell out of your car into the bike lane?
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:23 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I am forced into speech because foodies have refused to follow my advice without knowing why. It is altogether against my will that I tell my reasons for opposing this contemplated invasion of the farmer's market - with its vast offering of fresh vegetables and its wholesale flower stands. And I am the more reluctant because my warning may be in vain.

Doubt of the real facts, as I must reveal them, is inevitable; yet, if I suppressed what will seem extravagant and incredible, there would be nothing left. The hitherto withheld photographs, both ordinary and HD, will count in my favor, for they are damnably vivid and graphic. Still, they will be doubted because: PhotoShopTM. The online comics, of course, will be jeered at as obvious impostures, notwithstanding a strangeness of technique which cartoonists ought to remark and puzzle over.

In the end I must rely on the judgment and standing of the few locavores who have, on the one hand, sufficient independence of thought to weigh my data on its own hideously convincing merits or in the light of certain primordial and highly baffling myth cycles; and on the other hand, sufficient influence to deter the hipsters in general from any rash and over-ambitious program in the region of that farmer's market of madness. It is an unfortunate fact that relatively obscure men like myself and my associates, connected only with a small corner of the Internet, have little chance of making an impression where matters of a wildly bizarre or highly controversial nature are concerned.

It is further against us that we are not, in the strictest sense, specialists in the fields which came primarily to be concerned. As an amateur cheese monger, my object in leading the Portland Farmer's Market Expedition was wholly that of securing unpasteurized whole milk and rennet from within a 10-mile radius of the city limits, aided by the remarkable iPhone foodie app devised by Professor Frank H. Pafnuty of our computer engineering department. I had no wish to be a pioneer in any other field than this, but I did hope that the use of these new ingredients would bring to light taste of a sort hitherto unreached by the ordinary modern methods of mongering....
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:25 AM on August 7, 2013 [21 favorites]


I think the food stuff is probably a grandfathered-in thing, though, because I was doing that kinda foodie shit 20 years ago.

/points at EmpressCallipygos like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers

"HIPSTERRRRRRR!!!!!!"


Confession time: my brain wants your username to be EmpressCalliope, which would be fine if you were into epic poetry or steam-powered musical contraptions, but is, alas, wrong.

On the plus side, when I consciously readjust my brain to read your name correctly, I get an entertaining burst of circus music.

posted by Celsius1414 at 10:30 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


So, it is true that we have 4 meet-ups on the sidebar right now: An Enchanted Forest meet-up, a canning meet-up, a camping meet-up, and a good ole beer drinking meet-up.

I'm not sure it's the dream of 90s that's alive in Portland, but it is some sort of dream.
posted by Lutoslawski at 10:33 AM on August 7, 2013


Years from now I'll be asked "grandpa, were you a hipster in Portland?" and I'll say "no sonny, but I read a website where one guy kept accusing all of us of being one."
posted by danny the boy at 10:35 AM on August 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


Confession time: my brain wants your username to be EmpressCalliope, which would be fine if you were into epic poetry or steam-powered musical contraptions, but is, alas, wrong.

Yeah, other people have done that. I've also been called "empresscalypso" a couple times. No worries - if I was gonna get upset about that I'd have picked a way easier name.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:35 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Now, if they got the title wrong, demoting you to Viscountess, Duchess, Baroness or something, then there'd be real trouble - just as there would be if someone called me "The Regionally Renowned" or "The Relatively Well Regarded In Certain Circles."
posted by The World Famous at 10:41 AM on August 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


Charlemagne In Sweatpants: "Like MeFites are hipsters, but they're not the flashy kind, they're more riding around on fixies and making artisinal cheese and caring deeply about fonts."

I read this too quickly and thought it said 'caring deeply about forts' and I was (angrily) starting to wonder where all these deep threads about forts have been, or whether there was some secret part of the site where fort plans were the coin of the realm.
posted by jquinby at 10:41 AM on August 7, 2013 [6 favorites]


"empresscalypso"

and we're back to beetlejuice
posted by The Whelk at 10:42 AM on August 7, 2013


It's Drizzling Florence Henderson. Florence Henderson Humidity is Above 50%.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:44 AM on August 7, 2013 [10 favorites]




Not entirely on-topic, but when I read this comment upthread,

No ones really brought it up yet, but aren't there actually like an abnormally large

I was immediately and inexplicably sure that the next word was definitely "spider"
posted by clockzero at 10:46 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


There is some pretty well crafted trolling here.

There is no way all the "Jay Smooth says X, you got a problem with Jay Smooth?" isn't pro level trolling.


I tend to operate under the assumption that no one is really a troll on here. Misinformed, myopic, determined to win the argument and convert all the infidels at any cost, or just an asshole sure.(I'm not saying that post is any or all of those things, but uh, it could be) But i don't think i've looked at a post that was allowed to stand and gone "Yea, that's totally a troll lmao" in quite a while.

I still don't really believe that was trolling, but just more of a CHECKMATE ATHEISTS sort of through-the-looking-glass "you don't even understand how you sound dude, jesus" kinda thing.

The looks like a troll posts on here usually strike me as either some kind of bizarre performance art LOOK AT ME shit, or just really intense hobbyhorse riding.

Maybe it's just that the trolling is so good that it isn't setting off my trolldar, but that shit is pretty finely tuned from years of well, being an internet troll, and then a moderator several places. Maybe i'm just getting rusty though.

The local diner is like 40% paranormal investigators by volume.

Not to come off like i'm trying to sound like the most interesting man in the world after the recent diaper thread where i talked about dating a rockstars daughter, but my old roommates mom was a ghost hunter.

Like, she had actually been on some ghost hunters type tv show(if not on that one as a guest or something?) and traveled around the country doing it. She was COMPLETELY crazy in a lot of ways and for a lot of reasons, but i've had some actual exposure to those "paranormal investigator" type people and jesus do i have some hilarious stories. And i get fed a couple more every time i hang out with her and she brings up her mom.

The most recent one was about her blacking out and running around an old resort they were staying at with all her equipment saying IKNOWTHERESACTIVITYHERE kinda stuff in complete hammered slur, like falling in to the walls and shit. I'm cracking the fuck up just writing that and thinking about it again.
posted by emptythought at 10:47 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Celsius29.77: The melting point of Gallium
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:48 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's Drizzling Florence Henderson. Florence Henderson Humidity is Above 50%.

Wouldn't the real demotion there be "It's Raining Ann B. Davis?"
posted by The World Famous at 10:48 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


No ones really brought it up yet, but aren't there actually like an abnormally large

I was immediately and inexplicably sure that the next word was definitely "spider"


It's true: Portland is full of abnormally large spiders. Which explains the popularity of the Cicada Bars at Voodoo Donuts.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:49 AM on August 7, 2013


Now I kinda want an EmperorCalypso sockpuppet. But how often would you really use something like that?
posted by box at 10:49 AM on August 7, 2013


It's Raining Robbie Rist.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:51 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Now I kinda want an EmperorCalypso sockpuppet. But how often would you really use something like that?

You'd use it whenever circumstances called for commentary by an off-brand knock-off of a 1960s James Bond villain.
posted by The World Famous at 10:53 AM on August 7, 2013


It's true: Portland is full of abnormally large spiders. Which explains the popularity of the Cicada Bars at Voodoo Donuts.

For the community's delectation, a list of the sub-sections on Voodoo Doughnut's website:

About
F.A.Q.
Merch
Doughnuts
Weddings
Locations
Blog
TV
Contact
Special Orders
Press
We Support
Van
Rogue Ales
Compost
posted by clockzero at 10:57 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I tend to operate under the assumption that no one is really a troll on here. Misinformed, myopic, determined to win the argument and convert all the infidels at any cost

Yeah, that is sort of one of the core values of metafilter IMO, assume everyone is earnest. I think some people take advantage of this.

I really shouldn't call people trolls, but I tend to think I am being generous by ascribing motives other than being ignorant or racist.

There is no way you can think "you guys are jerkwads for being offended. You have betrayed the spirit of Lenny Bruce." That seems like trolling, because it is attempting to set you up to debate against Lenny Bruce. Not even Lenny Bruce himself, which may be kinda cool, but some person's interpretation of Lenny Bruce.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:58 AM on August 7, 2013


Surprisingly, now that I live in Portland, the mime scene here is pretty small comparatively. Who would have guessed?

It's not that we're hostile to the miming arts per se, but as a civic population we're deeply suspicious of anyone standing on the sidewalk and making conspicuous gestures because it's possible they have a clipboard and are canvassing for something.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:59 AM on August 7, 2013 [14 favorites]


Hundreds of people a day are relieved that the person gesturing on the street did not try to talk to them. In an ironic twist, it turns out that was the point all along!
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:02 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


The mime scene in Portland is relatively quiet.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:02 AM on August 7, 2013 [25 favorites]


That seems like trolling, because it is attempting to set you up to debate against Lenny Bruce. Not even Lenny Bruce himself, which may be kinda cool, but some person's interpretation of Lenny Bruce.

Late in his career, Lenny Bruce had a bit where he talked about having to defend himself against charges of censorship that he faced after a vice cop caught one of his shows and gave his (shoddy) interpretation of Lenny Bruce's act to a judge.

We're through the looking glass here, people.
posted by griphus at 11:03 AM on August 7, 2013


sweetkid: "Sure it is."

Words only have the power you give them.
posted by scrump at 11:03 AM on August 7, 2013


My closest Portland friend is a professional puppeteer. So there's that.
posted by The World Famous at 11:04 AM on August 7, 2013


Are you committed, or is it a no-strings-attached friendship?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:07 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


My closest Portland friend is a professional puppeteer. So there's that.

I would love to live in Portland and be a puppeteer.

Hmm...
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:07 AM on August 7, 2013


Larry Niven wrote a whole book about those, didn't he?
posted by scrump at 11:08 AM on August 7, 2013


No you're thinking of the satirical science fiction television show Ringworldia.
posted by griphus at 11:09 AM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


The mime scene in Portland is relatively quiet.

I came home one day last week and there was a woman sitting on my couch reading from a book about mimes in renaissance England. I am not even making this up and I can't decide if I wish I were or not.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:11 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


We are home to the Puppet Museum. Featured upcoming performance: The Baby Dragon Finds a Job.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:14 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


No you're thinking of the satirical science fiction television show Ringworldia.

I think you're thinking of the it's-a-fungus-not-a-parasite biological Mythbusters spinoff Ringwormia.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:14 AM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


A guy I knew in high school kept inviting me to performances of his Christian mime group. I always declined. I bitterly regret those decisions. I was such a snotty kid. I didn't understand that memories of evangelical miming might keep me amused for years. (I'd like to think that accepting Jesus helped those mimes get out of that box.)
posted by Area Man at 11:17 AM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


Are you committed, or is it a no-strings-attached friendship?

I'm a real boy.
posted by The World Famous at 11:17 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I came home one day last week and there was a woman sitting on my couch reading from a book about mimes in renaissance England. I am not even making this up and I can't decide if I wish I were or not.

I find myself overly concerned with one thing -

Did you know who the woman was? Because I'm sitting here thinking that a total stranger broke into your house just because she was looking for sufficiently comfy seating.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:17 AM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


Oh, you meant Portland, OR, not Portland, ME. the dream of the 90's is alive in Portland is maybe true in OR, but in Maine it's more the dream of the 70's. We like it this way, though it doesn't pay well. The 'Filters are not overrun with people from Portland, or even from Maine.

Hipsters are the yuppies of the new millennium, and I pretty much take hipster to mean pretentious ass. They're everywhere, no more on MeFi than anywhere else. Be kind to them, they're askeered of growing up.

Museums of note in Portland, Maine? The Umbrella Cover Museum, world's largest curated collection of umbrella covers. No idea what our Mime Index is, but there are more accordions than you might expect, and the occasional banjo.
posted by theora55 at 11:18 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Did you know who the woman was?

I did! She was there picking up some fairy costuming stuff that happened to be at me place. We leave all our doors unlocked at my building because we have guard chickens.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:20 AM on August 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


We leave all our doors unlocked at my building because we have guard chickens.

Please sir I would to subscribe to your newsletter and/or zine.
posted by jetlagaddict at 11:23 AM on August 7, 2013


I was in Portland for a couple of days this summer. I thought it looked a lot like Pittsburgh.
That and the fact they wouldn't let me pump my own gas were the only noteworthy things about it, really.
posted by rocket88 at 11:23 AM on August 7, 2013


The Umbrella Cover Museum, world's largest curated collection of umbrella covers.

A shady organization, if ever there was one. Still, their Raccoon City exhibit is to die for. And then to come back and bite someone for.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:24 AM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm pretty sure I'm a hipster but then again I probably disqualify myself if I'd admit to it.

I've really wanted to visit Portland anyway but now I'm imagining it full of Metafilter everywhere and that makes it sound even better.
posted by mlle valentine at 11:24 AM on August 7, 2013


My favorite things about Portland are the Portland Blues Fest and Powell's Books.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:26 AM on August 7, 2013


I thought it looked a lot like Pittsburgh.

I'm so glad I'm not the only person who has thought something along those lines - though I think it looks a bit more like Cincinnati.
posted by The World Famous at 11:30 AM on August 7, 2013


She was there picking up some fairy costuming stuff that happened to be at me place. We leave all our doors unlocked at my building because we have guard chickens.

....I promise I believe that you thought this would explain the situation. But it kind of didn't and just added more questions.

First one: "guard chickens." Explain.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:30 AM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'd like to think that accepting Jesus helped those mimes get out of that box.

None of the Gospels say that Jesus, after awakening in his tomb but before descending to Hell and then ascending to Heaven, did a miming "I'm trapped behind an invisible wall!" schtick against the actual rock blocking the entrance to the tomb, but I will note that none of them say he didn't.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:33 AM on August 7, 2013 [10 favorites]


where all these deep threads about forts have been

Beware.
posted by psoas at 11:33 AM on August 7, 2013


rocket88: "I was in Portland for a couple of days this summer. I thought it looked a lot like Pittsburgh.
That and the fact they wouldn't let me pump my own gas were the only noteworthy things about it, really.
"

Well, they are both really cloudy, certainly.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:37 AM on August 7, 2013


When you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I was walking against the wind.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:38 AM on August 7, 2013 [8 favorites]


When you see one set of widely space footprints, it was then that Bob Seger was runnin' against the wind.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:39 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Lutoslawski: "We leave all our doors unlocked at my building because we have guard chickens."

Guard chickens who can apparently be bypassed by displaying an interest in mime. How secure is that?

Came home on Sunday to find people moving into the building and had to fight the urge to walk up and say "Hey, welcome to the building, we've been here ten years, DON'T LEAVE THE FUCKING FRONT DOOR PROPPED OPEN IF YOU'RE NOT WITHIN SIGHT OF IT. The nearest bus stops are *there* and *there*, and DON'T LEAVE THE FUCKING FRONT DOOR PROPPED OPEN IF YOU'RE NOT WITHIN SIGHT OF IT. People tend to be friendly, the neighborhood's not as sketchy as it appears, and DON'T LEAVE THE FUCKING FRONT DOOR PROPPED OPEN IF YOU'RE NOT WITHIN SIGHT OF IT. Glad you're here, knock on our door if you need to borrow a cup of sugar, and DON'T LEAVE THE FUCKING FRONT DOOR PROPPED OPEN IF YOU'RE NOT WITHIN SIGHT OF IT because next time I'm closing it and I truly don't give a shit whether you have your keys with you or not; in fact I'd actually prefer it if you had to phone the resident manager to have him let you in because that way he can give you the lecture about DON'T LEAVE THE FUCKING FRONT DOOR PROPPED OPEN IF YOU'RE NOT WITHIN SIGHT OF IT instead of me. Hi, neighbor!"
posted by Lexica at 11:41 AM on August 7, 2013 [11 favorites]


"guard chickens." Explain.

Well, that was halfway a joke. We have these 7 crazy chickens that just wander around the building and neighborhood. But two of them are really crazy and will chase you if you get too close to the building and they don't know you. Even the dogs are afraid of them. Sometimes if the big white one is in a bad mood I even have to sort of run from the door to my car.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:44 AM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Guard chickens are sort of like guard geese, only less impervious to kicking.
posted by planetesimal at 11:46 AM on August 7, 2013


Lutoslawski: "Well, that was halfway a joke. We have these 7 crazy chickens that just wander around the building and neighborhood. But two of them are really crazy and will chase you if you get too close to the building and they don't know you. Even the dogs are afraid of them. Sometimes if they big white one is in a bad mood I even have to sort of run from the door to my car."

It takes a tough chicken to scare a tender man.
posted by scrump at 11:49 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Did the chicken hurt you?
No, I'm okay. He only winged me.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:52 AM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


rocket88: "That and the fact they wouldn't let me pump my own gas were the only noteworthy things about it, really."

I thought the GIANT X OF STREETS that I stayed near when I passed through there last summer was certainly something.
posted by invitapriore at 11:53 AM on August 7, 2013


What's wrong with Melbourne?

Nothing! I love Melbourne! I'd live there in a second! I just don't think it's that much like Portland.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:54 AM on August 7, 2013


That and the fact they wouldn't let me pump my own gas were the only noteworthy things about it, really.

When I first moved here, I HATED this. I was like, WTH, I'm a grown ass man, I can pump my own gas.

Now...when it's raining most of the year...and I can just sit in the car...ahhhh
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:00 PM on August 7, 2013


Now...when it's raining most of the year...and I can just sit in the car...ahhhh

How does that work for paying? Do you hand them cash or a card?
posted by Celsius1414 at 12:01 PM on August 7, 2013


the GIANT X OF STREETS

What, Ladd's Addition down in SE off like Hawthorne and 2Xth?
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:02 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


You just hand them a card and they swipe it at the pump. I think if you pay cash you have to go inside.
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:02 PM on August 7, 2013


How does that work for paying? Do you hand them cash or a card?

Haven't you been paying attention? You hand them chickens and artisanal cheese.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:03 PM on August 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


Haven't you been paying attention? You hand them chickens and artisanal cheese.

They were miming things at me and I panicked!
posted by Celsius1414 at 12:03 PM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


So Portland is like New Jersey? You can't pump your own gas there either.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:05 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Don't think this is worthy of an FPP and not sure where to drop it, but since there was talk of hipsters and Brooklyn here, I will link to this story about razor sales being down here. It is all the hipsters fault apparently.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:05 PM on August 7, 2013


cortex: "the GIANT X OF STREETS

What, Ladd's Addition down in SE off like Hawthorne and 2Xth?
"

Yeah, Ladd's Addition. It was very convenient for navigational purposes given that our friend-of-a-friend's apartment was a block away from it, being possibly the most literal instance of X Marks the Spot ever.
posted by invitapriore at 12:07 PM on August 7, 2013


I'm loving this discussion of a town I've yet to visit. It's the best tourism short of going there.
posted by arcticseal at 12:09 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I bought an electric beard trimmer in Jan 2012 and use it almost exclusively - haven't had to buy razors more than once or maybe twice since. With the savings, I could probably afford to drive to Oregon to get gas. Now I'm obsessed on sitting in my car while they fill the tank.

My fear is that Portland has reached Peak Puppeteer and I will move there only to find my dreams dashed.
posted by Celsius1414 at 12:10 PM on August 7, 2013


She was there picking up some fairy costuming stuff that happened to be at me place. We leave all our doors unlocked at my building because we have guard chickens.

There is a family in my local homeschool community who are trying to get a zoning exemption so they can keep therapy chickens for their disabled children. I had no idea chickens were capable of so much.
posted by not that girl at 12:10 PM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Interestingly, I would not really describe any of the Portland mefites as hipsters, with maybe the exception of the mystery man.

Wait, who?
posted by dersins at 12:11 PM on August 7, 2013


Remember that mystery man with the hat at the meet-up where we got in trouble for trying to roast marshmallows at the table? He was hip.

(also dersins may or may not be hipster-esque but I don't want to out him)
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:14 PM on August 7, 2013


Remember that mystery man with the hat at the meet-up where we got in trouble for trying to roast marshmallows at the table?

If you were breakies instead of fixies, you would have realized that was Heisenberg. Just sayin'.
posted by The World Famous at 12:20 PM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Hmmm, I think Methafilter is about the last thing we need.
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:22 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I do not remember a behatted mystery man-- I may not have been at that meetup?

(And while it is true that I may at one point have had hipster tendencies, I am now over 40. Middle-aged married guys with mortgages are pretty much by definition not hipsters, no matter how many chickens they have [6] or how often they make cheese [around once a month, but just ricotta, which is like the easiest thing to make ever-- seriously, it's about as hard as pouring yourself a bowl of cereal]. Hell, I can't even grow a proper beard.)
posted by dersins at 12:26 PM on August 7, 2013


I remember that guy. He was less mystery man and more lurker who had never joined. Didn't seem more hip that the average Portland mefite.
posted by gingerbeer at 12:26 PM on August 7, 2013


Well, we are the blue.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:28 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Didn't seem more hip that the average Portland mefite.

But he had a hat. So....
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:30 PM on August 7, 2013


Wasn't he also wearing sunglasses at the meetup? At night? Dunno if that's hip or not.

dersins - couldn't you just velcro kittens to your face if you need to be all beardly?
posted by rtha at 12:30 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


couldn't you just velcro kittens to your face if you need to be all beardly?

This needs to become a thing.
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:31 PM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


There was a hat that was getting passed around and cortex took photos of us in it. The photo of me in the hat is one of my favorites ever. So there were many of us in a hat that evening! So hip!
posted by gingerbeer at 12:32 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Some of us are way too old to be hipsters.

That would make you an 'artificial hipster'.
posted by hal_c_on at 12:32 PM on August 7, 2013


There was a hat that was getting passed around and cortex took photos of us in it.

(see my profile pic for evidence of this)

But I thought this guy had his own hat? Like a Heisenberg looking hat? Maybe my memory is bad. All those marshmallows.
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:34 PM on August 7, 2013


mefites in hats!
posted by gingerbeer at 12:38 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


As a native New Jerseyan I can't drive out of the state for fear of running out of gas and not knowing what to do at a station.
posted by Rory Marinich at 12:41 PM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'm putting way too much time into this, but this seems to be tagged as the mystery man?
posted by gingerbeer at 12:42 PM on August 7, 2013


Ha! Mysterious man, indeed.
posted by gingerbeer at 12:43 PM on August 7, 2013


He DOES have a hat.
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:45 PM on August 7, 2013


I have many hipster friends. But I know I'm not a hipster.

I know because I can tell that they're just hanging with me cause they're nice people who like folks, not because I'm hip.

Also, I think people who've been on Metafilter longer have less a perception that it's a place full of hipsters because they've watched the ebb and flow of dominant voices or common topics longer.

I guess that assumes "Portland" means "hipster", which it really doesn't for me. I have no association with Portland. Although I do have a cousin who counts trees for a living and has a place in Oregon when she's not in the forest.
posted by crush-onastick at 12:47 PM on August 7, 2013


dersins - couldn't you just velcro kittens to your face if you need to be all beardly?

Nah, they don't really stick. You have to sort of hold them there like this which makes the cheesemaking too challenging.
posted by dersins at 12:49 PM on August 7, 2013 [12 favorites]


Awwwwwwwwwwww
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:57 PM on August 7, 2013


You just hand them a card and they swipe it at the pump. I think if you pay cash you have to go inside.

In Jersey, at least, they make change for you while you're sitting right there on your butt in your car.

(I have never paid cash when I pumped my own because, man, who wants to go inside the gas station? I don't even know how that works.)
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:59 PM on August 7, 2013


Kitten mutton chops are so 1997.
posted by The World Famous at 1:00 PM on August 7, 2013


Well, dream of the 90's and all.
posted by dersins at 1:01 PM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


because, man, who wants to go inside the gas station?

They got muffins and coffee in there.
posted by The Whelk at 1:02 PM on August 7, 2013


Well snacks are a different story.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:03 PM on August 7, 2013


That's where they keep the best egg salad sandwiches.
posted by Area Man at 1:05 PM on August 7, 2013


also cheap CDs full of dodgy re-records of classic rock!
posted by The Whelk at 1:06 PM on August 7, 2013


Words only have the power you give them.

Unless they were on the field when the gamma bomb went off.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:08 PM on August 7, 2013


And beer and cigarettes. Which, y'know, beer and cigarettes.
posted by dersins at 1:08 PM on August 7, 2013


You have to sort of hold them there like this

That's exactly the picture I was thinking of!
posted by rtha at 1:08 PM on August 7, 2013


Rory Marinich: "As a native New Jerseyan I can't drive out of the state for fear of running out of gas and not knowing what to do at a station."

I always feel nervous and self-conscious at gas stations in Jersey because they won't let me pump my own gas. Do I just sit in the car and make the guy lean in? Do I get out? If I get out, do I wait the whole time outside the car? Do you tip? I try to wait until I get back over the line into PA just so I don't have to deal with all that.
posted by octothorpe at 1:14 PM on August 7, 2013


dersins, I think you just haven't used enough velcro on the kittens. I think some more experimentation is called for here.
posted by gingerbeer at 1:16 PM on August 7, 2013


I always feel nervous and self-conscious at gas stations in Jersey because they won't let me pump my own gas. Do I just sit in the car and make the guy lean in? Do I get out? If I get out, do I wait the whole time outside the car? Do you tip? I try to wait until I get back over the line into PA just so I don't have to deal with all that.

You open the window, sit there, and the gas station attendant will talk to you through the window. There will be no leaning. Or tipping. The easiest thing to do is to hand him your card and say "Fill it with regular."

If you have to pump, you pull up to the pump, turn off your engine, unlock your tank, swipe your card, put the pump in, and stand there and wait for it to fill. When it's done, you put the pump back and take your receipt.

I'm good with scripts for reasons of Anxiety.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:18 PM on August 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


Is Portland really full of ports?
posted by blue_beetle at 1:30 PM on August 7, 2013


It's full of Port. Or I am, anyway. Hic.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:31 PM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm good with scripts for reasons of Anxiety.

Ditto. Gas stations took me a really long time to get over. Now I have a Cumberland Farms app on my phone which gives me ten cents off per gallon and it's just poke-poke-type-poke-type-poke-pump-leave.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:37 PM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Having someone pump your gas always seems like being in one of those night clubs where they have an attendant who hands you a towel after you wash your hands. It's the same level of pointlessness.
posted by octothorpe at 1:44 PM on August 7, 2013


except in night clubs those guys are to keep you from doing lines or getting a blowie in the stall.

what are those guys at the gas station there to do, create american jobs?
posted by emptythought at 1:47 PM on August 7, 2013


Metafilter: it's just poke-poke-type-poke-type-poke-pump-leave.
posted by jquinby at 1:51 PM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Handing you a towel is the least of their duties.
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:51 PM on August 7, 2013


If you're a motorcyclist you pump your own gas -- motorcyclists objected to the law because you no touch my bike, foo -- but the attendant turns on the pump and hands you the nozzle. Which is kind of handy if you don't want to get off the bike. It's awkward to do that trick at a self-serve pump in another state because card swiping and pump operation can be reachy and torso-twisty from the seat. You're supposed to wait for the attendant to come back and take the nozzle from you and hang it up but I've never known them to have a problem with you doing it yourself.

Speaking of handing you a towel, the stations that are accustomed to motorcycle customers do that too.

In the car I really like full serve -- sometimes they clean your windshield and stuff, it varies. They always do at my closest one. I even use full serve in other states. Granted, mostly when I'm expensing the trip. Though it is weird to have to remember to choose the full serve lane, assuming they even have one. Yes, I have sat on my ass for several long moments before the penny drops and I get out and mess around with high energy-density aromatics like a normal American.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:54 PM on August 7, 2013


what are those guys at the gas station there to do, create american jobs?

Yeah, according to the wikipedias it's thanks to gas station owners lobbying for reasons of jobs and safety.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:56 PM on August 7, 2013


The role of the European bathroom attendant is to glower at you while you franically try to find a 1 Euro coin before you piss yourself.
posted by The Whelk at 2:06 PM on August 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


If I pay a lavatory attendant I expect him to come over and aim for me. And he'd better have a good manicure.
posted by George_Spiggott at 2:20 PM on August 7, 2013


I recently discovered an attendant in the ritzy Charlotte Douglas International Airport. His job was to stand next to a table of mints and Scope at the exit and greet patrons.

Nice "Japan is wacky" segment in the Wiki article. I've never seen or heard of the robotic bathroom attendant. That thing is too big even for the highway rest areas it claims to service.
posted by Tanizaki at 2:47 PM on August 7, 2013


If I pay a lavatory attendant I expect him to come over and aim for me. And he'd better have a good manicure.
posted by George_Spiggott


Eponysterical!
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:49 PM on August 7, 2013


My Metafilter shirts never get a nod of recognition here in Richmond, VA. I wonder if things would be different in Portland.

Guess I'll find out tomorrow. PDX, ho!
posted by emelenjr at 2:55 PM on August 7, 2013


It was named after Portland, Maine. It's not even, like, the authentic Portland. Posers.

When I lived on the Oregon coast, I developed a theory that every Oregon town's name was either stolen or stupid. This is expressed less strongly by saying the names can be categorized as being taken from somewhere else or just a bad name for a town. (I was in high school when I developed the theory, and so it may have lacked subtlety as originally formulated.)

Examples (Category A):
Portland
Newport
Salem
Toledo
Dallas
Lebanon

(Category B):
Philomath
Boring
White City
Tangent
posted by nickmark at 2:59 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


To be fair, it was named after Portland because one of the dude's who owned the land was from Portland, ME. So it isn't like we stole it, exactly.

Also Portland is kind of stupid name. I would have preferred it keep its original name "Stumptown" or "The Clearing," personally.
posted by Lutoslawski at 3:03 PM on August 7, 2013


If you're needing inspiration, Philomath is where I go.
posted by The World Famous at 3:12 PM on August 7, 2013


Why point fingers at Portland for not having an original name? Consider all the east coast copies - New York, New Jersey, Albany, Hampshire, Rome, the Carolinas and Georgia named for "foreigners", the list is endless, but my time is not. Please fill in any others you think of.
posted by Cranberry at 3:20 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm loving this discussion of a town I've yet to visit. It's the best tourism short of going there.

Me too. Though I lived there for a year, I was in school and didn't have a car. If it took more than two buses to get somewhere, there wasn't really time for it. If we had access to a car, we'd want to go somewhere more interesting than just somewhere else in Portland. So there's one area I'm dimly familiar with and the rest is a mystery. I always thought I'd live there again some day because I like drizzly days with the occasional oh so beautiful. On the other hand, I've had my life's fill of shabby little craftsman houses already, so maybe not.
posted by bleep-blop at 3:24 PM on August 7, 2013


Whoa. That's, uh, quite a profile you've got there, bleep-blop.
posted by dersins at 3:38 PM on August 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Every time I travel around the U.S. I like to ask the locals what the hipsters wear, where they hang out, what they look like, and every time I travel the answer seems to be different. I've concluded that there is no universal hipster, that instead "hipster" reveals the locals' worst fears about who they themselves might be.

But then I live in a low-car household, wear goofy dresses I buy at Goodwill, work as a self-employed writer, color my hair pink, and live in Portland; I also often hang out with my unicycle-polo-playing brother, and one of my friends has started a business selling bow ties for cats. So I'm pretty sure I'm the embodiment of America's worst fears about what it might be. The UR-Hipster, so to speak.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 4:11 PM on August 7, 2013 [8 favorites]


Once I was listening to Rhode Island NPR and they were talking about the at-the-time brand new phenomenon of people moving to Providence after college. At one point one of the radio people says: "Providence is now the Portland of the East Coast." Which was ridiculous on so many levels. I listened on, not because it was a very interesting discussion, but because I was waiting for someone, anyone to bring up Portland, Maine. That never happened.
posted by Kattullus at 4:13 PM on August 7, 2013


I've concluded that there is no universal hipster, that instead "hipster" reveals the locals' worst fears about who they themselves might be.

We got the definitive hipsters here in New York, and they wear red capri pants. Any other hipsters are behind the times, it is only a matter of how much.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:16 PM on August 7, 2013


and live in Portland

I think this is a good time to bring up the fact that there are a PLETHORA of pdx mefites who, ahem, never come out to Meet-Ups.

Now, I know it's not everyone's thing. But we aren't scary. Usually. Most of us. Most of the time. Usually.
posted by Lutoslawski at 4:27 PM on August 7, 2013


I bet I've been to more Portland meetups than some of your local mefites, even.
posted by gingerbeer at 4:30 PM on August 7, 2013


We really should be workshopping this " Artsy bohemians Vs. Lovecraftian Small Town Horror Vs. Yuppies" story anyway.
posted by The Whelk at 4:41 PM on August 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I looked for you pdx MeFites at the Blues Fest, but I didn't see any of you.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:50 PM on August 7, 2013


Aw man! I didn't go to the Blues Fest this year. It's actually been a few years since I've been...

But at one time I used to help out with the radio broadcast of the Blues Fest for KBOO.
posted by Lutoslawski at 4:52 PM on August 7, 2013


I am forced to comment in this thread by dint of residential history: I lived in Portland for all of the nineties, and in Seattle for over half of the aughts. I've been living in Melbourne for the past two years. The cities have in common: a mild wet climate, chainsaw art, the urban homesteading movement, foodie culture, alternate commute culture, very garden-proud neighborhoods (Seattle has the greatest proportion of super-garden-proud people), extremely self-conscious art communities, and political and cultural tension with the surrounding rural areas.

I go to the Royal Show to look at the chickens, I used to be a bike commuter but I much prefer to walk, circus couldn't be less my thing, and I love artisanal cheese but feel it's best left to the professionals. I suspect that at 43 I missed hipsterdom by two decades.

There. Anecdata.

(Look! I'm even more earnest than Charlemagne.)
posted by gingerest at 4:54 PM on August 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


sweetkid: "I agree that Seattle is the better Melbourne analogue. So don't give up on Portland, dg!
What? What's wrong with Melbourne?
"

How much time have you got?
posted by dg at 5:17 PM on August 7, 2013


Now, I know it's not everyone's thing. But we aren't scary. Usually. Most of us. Most of the time. Usually.

PDX meetups are very humanizing. You get to meet other Portland mefites and find out they're just folks, and you get to see me beer buzzed and making jokes dumb enough that they don't get past the "should I hit post on this?" filter I use to keep my Mefi comments relatively clever.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:21 PM on August 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


I've concluded that there is no universal hipster, that instead "hipster" reveals the locals' worst fears about who they themselves might be.

Oh, god, yes, this. My siblings and friends who still live in New Orleans are CONSTANTLY going on about "hipsters". And it turns out that in New Orleans a hipster is anyone under 45 who showers regularly and wears clothes that fit.
posted by Sara C. at 5:22 PM on August 7, 2013 [6 favorites]


I enjoyed Melbourne when I was there DG. I thought it was cool and I'm a good judge of cool.
posted by sweetkid at 5:24 PM on August 7, 2013


Well, I'm too old to know what cool looks like, but I know what I don't like and high on that extraordinarily long list is Melbourne.
posted by dg at 5:31 PM on August 7, 2013


And it turns out that in New Orleans a hipster is anyone under 45 who showers regularly and wears clothes that fit.

Which is funny because Portland hipsters shower infrequently and wear clothes 2 sizes too small.
posted by dersins at 5:49 PM on August 7, 2013


I'd like to visit the Portland of the West, just to go to Powell's Books, if nothing else.
posted by theora55 at 5:51 PM on August 7, 2013


When I lived in New Orleans a hipster was anyone who went to Borsodi's or anyone who lived in Westwego ironically.
posted by octobersurprise at 5:59 PM on August 7, 2013


Portland is essentially a suburb of Powells.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:06 PM on August 7, 2013 [23 favorites]


as long as it involves cronuts

You guys aren't going to believe this, but we don't actually have cronuts in Portland yet, as far as I can tell. I looked.

This may be your window if you're interested in cornering the cronut market in Portland.
posted by chrchr at 8:18 PM on August 7, 2013




Do you think if I get a croissant from Nuvrei and take it to Voodoo, they would deep fry it and stuff it with cream/creme filling? ('cause DIY is the PDX way!)
posted by vespabelle at 9:48 PM on August 7, 2013


BEATEN TO IT
posted by scrump at 9:53 PM on August 7, 2013


The role of the European bathroom attendant is to glower at you while you franically try to find a 1 Euro coin before you piss yourself.

In my experience, the stages of bathroom attendants were:
  1. Get chewed out by native for not understanding the idea
  2. Fumble for change, hoping that the bathroom has an automated turnstile.
  3. Have awkward conversations with the attendant where you realise that you have zero fluent languages in common.
  4. Get comfortable with the phrase, "I'll pay in a sec"
  5. already have the change out, grabbed from wallet by touch, and flipping it onto the dish as you run into the bathroom chasing a child.

posted by frimble at 11:23 PM on August 7, 2013


So having read the thread what I don't understand is why it's the Portalnd MeFites who get to be hipsters when it was the NY contigent who went to flavortown. Cause if there's anything more hipster than ironically enjoying Guy Fieri's offerings, then blog about it, I don't want to know.
posted by MartinWisse at 4:11 AM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Maybe you could make us a list of which cities are the most hipstery in order of hipsteryness? Then perhaps place it on display in the cellar in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard."

This is the only place in my orbit that still does this HAHAHA HIPSTER thing. Then again someone actually trotted out DISCO SUCKS in the Colbert/Daft Punk thread, so we're up all night to get plucky, I guess.
posted by mintcake! at 4:24 AM on August 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


this HAHAHA HIPSTER thing.

Ok then. Hipster puppy.
posted by billiebee at 4:33 AM on August 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


FUN FACT: The mayor of Terre Haute, IN is actually a fedora duct-taped to a scarecrow. He sits in his office on a huge mountain of pennies originally taped to Columbia House Record Club reply postcards. Terre Haute, IN: hipsterier than you thought!
posted by mintcake! at 4:53 AM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm Chrysostom
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 5:50 AM on August 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I like Disco. I like both Portlands (though I've spent more time in the Oregon one). I might be a hipster to you. I've heard all of my favorite bars described as "hipster bars" and I own a lot of records. Is there a hipster/hippie feud? Because I grew up in a hippie town and some small part of me will never stop hating all things patchouli.
posted by thivaia at 6:58 AM on August 8, 2013


Whenever I talk to friends about MetaFilter they always relate it to Portland...

Talk? Friends?

Who let you in here?
posted by mazola at 7:16 AM on August 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I drink PBR unironically, because I think it's decent.

I'm way too boring to be a hipster. I'm just cheap.
posted by inertia at 8:19 AM on August 8, 2013


If you're not paying $7 a can for PBR, then you're not drinking it ironically enough to be a hipster. (Seriously, the local bars here charge import prices for it because the people who want to be seen drinking it don't realize it's a bottom-shelf beer, or don't care.)
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 8:58 AM on August 8, 2013


Holy shit, really? It's priced alongside Bud here in St. Louis. $2 at a cheap bar, $3 at an expensive one.
posted by invitapriore at 9:06 AM on August 8, 2013


$7? That's crazy. I drank some $1/can PBR at a bar this summer in upstate New York. I hadn't had it in years, but figured the price was right.
posted by Area Man at 9:08 AM on August 8, 2013


Yeah, there used to be a place here called Saleem's that had $1 PBR Wednesdays, which is just a glorious gift to humanity whatever your feelings about the brew. I'm sorry it's not so in other municipalities.
posted by invitapriore at 9:09 AM on August 8, 2013


PBR is cheap in Philly. I feel bad for Austinites.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 9:48 AM on August 8, 2013


I started drinking it in college because the local liquor store sold it for $11 per case of 24 bottles.


$7 for a can of PBR is just hilarious. The most expensive I've seen it was $4 a can, which was in a dive bar in Buffalo of all places.
posted by inertia at 10:06 AM on August 8, 2013


I saw it at $3 for a 24oz "super tallboy" at a bar nearby, and that seemed okay for more than you'd get in a pint pour plus the idiotic novelty of a Frodo-making can, but eesh.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:12 AM on August 8, 2013


I demand proof of the $7 dollar PBR.
posted by josher71 at 10:31 AM on August 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I haven't even seen $7 PBR in NYC
posted by sweetkid at 10:38 AM on August 8, 2013


Here is an actual chart. PBR is down in the sub-premium range. Average prices are still under $3. Not that people may not be gouging on prices (HufPo implies it) but for the most part, it's still cheap.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:42 AM on August 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Haven't been out to a bar in a while, but next time I do I'll ask. (It's possible it's only $5.) I know this more because the bar I *do* tend to drink at charges normal, bottom-shelf prices for PBR (like $2.50? I don't actually drink beer,) and non-regulars always remark on it. I don't really care to drink with people who are fine paying premium prices for ironically-status-marking beer.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 10:43 AM on August 8, 2013


This one bar in Philly that I've played at a couple times charges $5 for a PBR Tallboy and a shot of Jim Beam or Wild Turkey. DEAL OF THE CENTURY! It's called the Citywide Special and you can find it at the El Bar.
posted by capnsue at 10:46 AM on August 8, 2013


Five dollars for a PBR tall boy is expensive but is not unheard of especially in a music venue situation. Three to four for a tall boy is normal.
posted by josher71 at 10:53 AM on August 8, 2013


All the PBR you can drink in business class, bitches.
posted by planetesimal at 11:48 AM on August 8, 2013


I mean, it was paneer, so it was super easy, but, still.

My family always get a little chuckle when we eat at an Indian restaurant as "saag" is farsi for dog, making saag paneer translate to "dog cheese".
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:08 PM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Like ten bars in Seattle do that pint and a shot $5 thing, its the best thing ever. There's even a place called speckled & drake where the entire menu is variations of that, depending on what kind of beer and shot you want. Paired either for flavor or just amusing combination. When they first opened you got a raineer(which used to be the Seattle beer, but is now owned by pbr and made in California...) and a shot of Jim beam for $5. Five bucks! Some bars charge more than $5 just for a shot of beam. That didnt last long, and neither did my ability to form sentences when they still had that going.

I just realized I really did see something close to a $7 pbr once. I was actually writing a condemnation of that concept, but no.

I was at a show at a very large venue. They had no re entry even if you were over 21, and didn't tell you until after you got inside(and it didn't say this on the site or the ticket, fuckers). You couldn't even go out to smoke, if you were so inclined. Once they had you trapped, they had two minibars selling THE most pathetic drinks. Like the tiniest maybe 6oz plastic Dixie cups they obviously weren't filling to the brim. You'd get like half a shot, and a splash of soda over some ice for $8 or so.

And yep, like $5 for half of a pbr in one of those same cups. Which is to say, a $10 a pbr.

There were amazingly long lines to get ripped off by this shit. I was pretty angry I hadn't snuck in a flask or had one of the girls I was with wear one of those boobflasks or something. Went straight there from work and was like god DAMN fuck this shit.

For anyone in/familiar with Seattle, this was at the paramount theater. I don't know if its like this at every show, but I'm fairly certain I've seen this same routine twice now.
posted by emptythought at 12:31 PM on August 8, 2013


Huh. I'm an extremely amateur drinker, but PBR is a much better option than ye olde king of beers, no?
posted by mintcake! at 12:35 PM on August 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I went to Portland for Ladies Rock Camp a few years ago, and fell in love, but there is no logical way for me to move there. Also I have absolutely no handicraft skills and am married to a dude incapable of growing a large beard.

However, there is a tiny bit of hipsterness growing here in Fort Worth, I assume because Austin rents are getting too high and driving people up here. We have lots of breweries, an interesting music scene, and we even got some of those fancy commuter bikes. Tats and facial hair and ethically dubious gentrification are everywhere.
posted by emjaybee at 12:56 PM on August 8, 2013


Huh. I'm an extremely amateur drinker, but PBR is a much better option than ye olde king of beers, no?

Meh, not really all that different when you're talking that calibre of domestic, just better label design really. All fail when held up against the golden halo that is Grain Belt Premium.
posted by Think_Long at 12:58 PM on August 8, 2013


Huh. I'm an extremely amateur drinker, but PBR is a much better option than ye olde king of beers, no?

I think it is. I actually got into an argument with my friend over whether or not I was a snob because I refuse to drink Budweiser. PBR suits me just fine though.

I would seriously rather drink a 40 than Budweiser, but maybe I just have an irrational dislike of it.
posted by inertia at 1:03 PM on August 8, 2013


Inertia, i'm with you on this. As someone whose drank basically every piss beer, it goes something like raineer>pbr>rolling rock>coors>high life>busch>40oz malt(the good stuff, like mickeys/mickeys ice)>budweiser>bad 40oz(like olde english 800)

four loko and that kind of shit is somewhere below the bad 40oz, along with earthquake which is seriously so bad it isn't even funny.

Stuff like hamms and schmidt and such weren't in the list because they're really regional in where you can get them, and around here almost nowhere sells them.

Bud not only tastes a bit bad, and has kind of weird foamy texture compared to most cheap beer.
posted by emptythought at 1:45 PM on August 8, 2013


Weird, I would take Budweiser over High Life any day, and the choice between Bud and PBR basically comes down to a coin flip for me. It takes all kinds, I guess.
posted by invitapriore at 1:51 PM on August 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also Four Loko is like cod liver oil, you drink it in spite of the taste because it's good for you.
posted by invitapriore at 1:53 PM on August 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Sadly they took out the caffeine, and that weird enzyme they were putting in it that made you process the alcohol slower(i can't find a link on this, but it wasn't just some weird theory. The ingredient was listed somewhere).

I've tested this. A few friends still have flats of the real stuff. If you try the real stuff, then try the new stuff it's not nearly as potent. Now it's just gross tasting 12% malt liquor. I'd rather drink a 40oz for the same price and get just as drunk, or one of those bandit mini box wines.
posted by emptythought at 1:57 PM on August 8, 2013


Judging by phodora photos, Metafilter is 50% hipster, 50% dork. I leave you to make your own judgments as to who is which.
posted by maryr at 3:02 PM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


It is completely, and entirely possible to be both simultaneously. That's like saying the site is 50% chocolate and 50% peanut butter.
posted by emptythought at 3:06 PM on August 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Like ten bars in Seattle do that pint and a shot $5 thing, its the best thing ever.

I was delighted, basically amazed really as an early-twenty-something someone with no bar culture experience, to discover years ago that in most divey bars in Portland (and this is not a Portland-specific thing) that getting a shot and asking for a beer back was a totally normal transactional thing that means "I will pay you your asking price for this shot of well liquor and you will also provide, cheerfully and free of charge, somewhere between a glass and a pint of domestic macrobrew gratis".

I was like, wait: I get the liquor...and I get some beer. Just because. Like, you think I'm weird if I say no. It was crazy, it was appalling, it was wonderful.

So "a beer and a shot, for five dollars!" seems weirdly like uh, yeah? to me, though I haven't ordered a shot and a beer back in like a decade now so maybe it went out of fashion and that is something to blink at now.

Huh. I'm an extremely amateur drinker, but PBR is a much better option than ye olde king of beers, no?

I may have talked about this in previous beer threads, but my feeling about this at this point is "eh". Like, there's nothing wrong with having an aesthetic preference for one macrobrew over another, and I'm even interested to hear non-handwavy defenses of that preference, but at the end of the day it's all cheap light-complected mass-produced pilsner/lager stuff that has more in common with other varieties than differences. It's all cheap, it's all good beer after mowing the lawn or while playing a show as a broke-ass rock band, and if you like PBR, great, order PBR. If you like Bud for the weird rice profile, order Bud. If you like Highlife for it's specific bubbly profile, fine.

If you want a cheap beer and just to be drinking a cheap beer, get whatever there is. Snootiness is luxury; in Portland it's easy to get actively snooty because there's literally 200 beers within easy driving distance, but you're not doing yourself any favors by getting snooty over basic macro taps unless you specifically derive pleasure from being pointlessly snooty in a context where there's not much reason for it. Just drink beer, beer is nice. Brotherhood trumps exclusivity, have what he's having, have a conversation about whatever the fuck is going on in your lives instead of alienating someone by shitting on their arbitrary macrobrew fealty just to have something to say.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:22 PM on August 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


There's definitely plenty of bars in seattle where if you asked for a beer back, the beer would show up on your tab. They're just assholes like that here. I'd honestly expect them to charge at most bars around here.

That, or literally give you one of those tiny little shot glasses of beer that hold maybe 3oz max. The only kind of thing they don't seem to charge for is like, a pickleback. That is of course, unless the bar and bartender are cool. And there aren't a whole lot of those here.
posted by emptythought at 6:59 PM on August 8, 2013


I live in one of the many suburbs surrounding Portland, Ore. While I grew up wandering downtown alone, most of the time just going to wander around Pioneer Square or peruse the aisles of Powell's bookstore, I can't say that I'm from Portland, or that I identify with the city. And though I'm a metafi user that's been around for a while, though lurking much of the time and having large bouts of reading deep discussions here, it was only very recently that I thoroughly grokked that Metafilter and Portland were connected. By users who live here and now, apparently the tone and vibe? That both have and or give off.

Reading through this thread reminded me of one of my favorite essays on the topic of the City, which I found through an FPP of course: The Land of Topless Minarets and Headless Little Girls: A Requiem for Syria. Sometimes the existence of the essay and what Amal Hanano wrote occur to me at random times. It alternately frightens and fascinates me that on a wider level, upon scale of universes and geologic time, that we humans are a swarm, in a sense. (Not the technical one, I think.) Just going around and doing stuff that makes the entire city and world function (or not) at a wider level, especially if what one does is spend money. The thing about cities and what I like in general about Metafilter is that both are a continual process. Nothing is complete, and the city only is and only exists when there are people and the activity of people.

The 'city' is much more than what I just defined, and Hanano writes about her own city, Aleppo, so much more profoundly. What can I say about Portland, OR? Apart from the overcast drizzle and microbrews. You navigate in relation to East/West Burnside and the Willamette River, and at all intersections, the North-West sides of said buildings, if the entrance is facing that intersection, are odd numbered. (cough, northwest is odd, cough.) Disappointingly, there's no High Street, like in Eugene. But there's Martin Luther King Boulevard and Ceasar Chavez Boulevard and Chautauqua Boulevard, the third of which I discovered while taking a Trimet bus out to meet up with a Somali refugee teenager as her mentor. The only reason for me to go to Old Town-Chinatown is either to have a night out at CC Slaughters or have a wonderful meal at Good Taste or Vegetarian House. The neighborhood is almost reputable at day time, and "the criminals come out at night" as someone I know puts it. When I have money and a friend, we visit the tiny Lan Su Chinese Garden. Real Chinatown these days is at the Fubon market on 82nd, and a good restaurant to have a celebratory meal is Powell's Seafood, on Powell Boulevard, of course. It's very possible to get around Portland without a car, but thankfully driving around Portland (and much of Oregon) is fairly easy. I hate driving, I no longer have any bikes, of which were beaters at best, and walking anywhere is sort of an annoying distance with the sprawl.

But what was I trying to say here, again? I've frequented the shiny parts of Portland that have huge trees, whose roots have upended sidewalks where people of color are doing various kinds of work, though some of them are walking around at their seeming leisure too. And I've been to the parts of Portland where streets have no pavement and every other yard has a scary big dog, or even a seeming pack of dogs, with the random homeless person who wandered in from Foster or Southwest Portland. I've become one of those people that say to myself, "Asian!" whenever I see one walking around here. Even with its unseeming side and lack of trees when compared to say, Tennessee, I still really like, maybe even love the Portland area and Cascadia in general, hovering above the 45th parallel. The mild summers with the brief, barely weeklong heatwave. The generally clean, drinkable tap water. The lukewarm but earnest ethnic diversity. I'm happy I live here and I'll be happy to return when I leave Portland.

Incidentally, that's not too different from how I feel about Metafilter. But in general and for a long time, I related Metafilter to New York City.
posted by one teak forest at 1:13 AM on August 9, 2013


I've been thinking about this a bit, and MetaFilter definitely has the feel of a town more than a major city. If I had to equate it to anywhere physical, I'd be more likely to point to Northampton, MA than anywhere else. Though perhaps a similar place with a big city within commuting distance is more accurate.
posted by Kattullus at 6:52 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Kattullus, the Northampton, MA comparison really makes sense to me. Maybe only because when I was growing up I was a little obsessed with the idea of moving to that place.

I kind of think of metafilter as my home town, of course. Much more densely populated than the surrounding neighborhoods, kind of a small town where everyone loves the shit out of the place and has opinions on things like traffic light timings and what kind of wood the boardwalk should be built out of and which food truck is the best food truck. Oh, and everyone is also a little smug about living here while being less than an hour from midtown.
posted by inertia at 7:15 AM on August 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I had no idea that Budweiser stands out mainly because of rice. Something about that profile has always made it taste straight-up sour to me. Interesting.
posted by mintcake! at 7:45 AM on August 9, 2013


Cheap American beers all use either corn or rice as an adjunct to the barley malt. AFAIK, both Bud and Coors use rice, most others use corn. Most craft beers are all-malt (not counting wheat beers here).
posted by octothorpe at 7:53 AM on August 9, 2013


Though, my mind was blown when I found out that my assumption that rice was included to cut costs was wrong, because it turns out that rice is not generally cheaper than barley. It's there to dampen the maltiness by lowering the proportion of barley in the mash, since rice generally doesn't have a very noticeable flavor profile.
posted by invitapriore at 9:24 AM on August 9, 2013


It's a little more complicated than that, it has to do with the type of barley (6-row) that grows better in the North American climate and how brewers had to adapt to using it:
The widespread use of unmalted cereal adjuncts (corn, rice, etc.) by North American brewers developed, in part, to compensate for the higher soluble protein levels of six-row malts and, later, because adjuncts are cheaper. It is generally accepted that 150-170 ppm amino nitrogen (component of soluble protein) is required in the wort to support adequate yeast metabolism and fermentation (12). A high-protein six-row malt will provide levels far in excess of these values. Because the protein in corn or rice adjuncts is largely insoluble, it is possible to replace a portion of the malt with adjunct and thus dilute the overall level of wort-soluble nitrogen. Cereal adjuncts can be used to replace up to 40% of six-row malt grist without adversely affecting fermentation performance. Two-row malt typically allows for less adjunct use because of its lower soluble nitrogen levels and lower diastatic power.

The use of cereal adjuncts began as an innovative response to available malt quality and was born of concern for quality. Now, with improved North American malt strains available, it is no longer necessary but is now both economically advantageous and traditional for those breweries' beers.
posted by octothorpe at 10:05 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I hear what Cortex is saying about mass market crappy lagers being fairly interchangeable, but Bud products really have a distinct flavor to me. Beyond just the "crappy beer" notes, there's something weird and offputting about them.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:05 AM on August 9, 2013


You can live in both Milwaukie and Brooklyn, all while living in Portland! (OK, Milwaukie is actually its own town.)

I lived in Portland for around six years. I miss it frequently.
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:45 PM on August 9, 2013


It's in Canada, but Tallcans 473 ml Pbr…$6

And here is a place with a drink "special" on Tuesday: $5.25 tall PBR.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:02 PM on August 13, 2013


I don't know how beer pricing works in Canada but Coors Light is 6.75 so PBR isn't more expensive relatively which is part of the argument.
posted by josher71 at 4:21 AM on August 14, 2013


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