Thank you all so much - AskMe update November 11, 2013 10:42 AM   Subscribe

Last week, I asked this question. I really was freaking out and sure I was going to screw it up. The memorial service was Friday, and my remarks were extremely well received.

After each speaker there was applause. When I finished speaking, I immediately thought that the applause was louder than before, but it went through my head that it probably was because I was facing the applause. Then I heard family members hooting, so I realized that, yes, it was very well received. My boyfriend told me that everyone at our table was crying and he was pretty sure everyone in the room was crying.

Afterwards, I was absolutely bombarded with people thanking me and complimenting me and asking me if I were a writer and telling me I should be a writer. One of Tim's brothers told me that I'd made them all cry and several of the family members told me they loved the poem, so all my worries were for naught. Also, I have admired one of my friend's sisters-in-law for many years, even before I knew my friend, and she made a point of telling me that I did a wonderful job, which means so much coming from her.

Thank to everyone for helping me structure my thoughts and form my little talk, and for being supportive while I was freaking out.

posted by janey47 to MetaFilter-Related at 10:42 AM (32 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

That's wonderful! It sounds like you did a very good job. Here's to the memory of your friend!
posted by ocherdraco at 10:44 AM on November 11, 2013

Aww that's so nice. You did a great job.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:49 AM on November 11, 2013

And having just read the actual eulogy, it doesn't just sound like you did a good job—you did an amazing job. That was beautiful.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:50 AM on November 11, 2013 [23 favorites]

i remember that question!

aaaaaand, YEAH, that's a brave and awesome choice for the reading. so glad your friend's service went amazingly.
posted by sweltering at 11:09 AM on November 11, 2013

Yea, kudos, and thanks for the introduction to the poem.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:09 AM on November 11, 2013

That was a fantastic eulogy. Thanks so much for sharing.
posted by SpacemanStix at 11:10 AM on November 11, 2013

Yay, you! You faced the scary thing, and not only conquered it, but did so really exceptionally!
posted by theora55 at 11:28 AM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

That is an absolutely full-hearted, full-throated, fully-lived tribute to your friend. Thank you for doing that for his family and friends, and for sharing it with us.
posted by Elsa at 11:37 AM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

posted by radioamy at 11:38 AM on November 11, 2013

I just read the eulogy. It's beautiful. I feel like, in a way, I've met him. And that is the very best thing.
posted by mochapickle at 11:38 AM on November 11, 2013 [12 favorites]

Wonderful. Beautifully done. Got me crying too. What a fantastic gift for your friend's family.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 11:40 AM on November 11, 2013

Your question showed such a great love, you couldn't have gone wrong.
I am sorry for the loss of your friend.
posted by SLC Mom at 11:48 AM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Your question showed such a great love, you couldn't have gone wrong.

Agree, I read that question and thought it was so beautiful. I'm sure you did do a great job and sorry for your loss.
posted by sweetkid at 11:49 AM on November 11, 2013

Yeah, now I'm crying. Sorry I didn't know Tim. He sounds wonderful. Lovely work, janey47.
posted by sockermom at 12:08 PM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

We should all hope for so fine a eulogy. Bravo.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:43 PM on November 11, 2013

What a gift you gave his family. Well done.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:47 PM on November 11, 2013

Well done indeed.
posted by jquinby at 1:05 PM on November 11, 2013

Your eulogy was beautiful. Good job yo.
posted by threeants at 1:17 PM on November 11, 2013

Very nicely done.

I'm a big advocate of having conversations with the loved ones we have lost. It might seem a bit presumptuous — ascribing words we've generated to someone else — but these poor souls no longer have a voice or a mind to call their own, so lending them ours for a while seems a good way of letting them be back in the world for a bit.

That's all just me leading up to hoping that you've gone off somewhere silent and asked "How'd I do, Tim?", and let the conversation flow from there. From your description of him, I'm guessing he'd have loved it, and would have loved telling you how much he loved it. Just because he's gone doesn't mean you shouldn't bask a bit in his appreciation.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:34 PM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Even I'm crying! He sounds like a great person and so do you.
posted by bquarters at 2:06 PM on November 11, 2013

It was very beautifully done, and I'm sorry you had to do it. My condolences, and thank you for telling us all about him.
posted by mogget at 2:09 PM on November 11, 2013

Here's a picture I took of him on Superbowl Sunday 2011. They used this photo everywhere in the service -- there was a big poster of it in the center of the room, and they had a wonderful slideshow going most of the time -- except that when the speakers were talking, the slideshow paused on this photo. They used it for the obituary. A friend who is a graphic artist did a silkscreen-type picture of him using this photo. I feel so honored that I was able to capture him in a way that his family loved so much. And I think you can look at the picture and see the friend I love and miss so much.

Thank you all for your kind words. You're a really lovely community.
posted by janey47 at 3:30 PM on November 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

Well done.
posted by 4ster at 3:45 PM on November 11, 2013

It was a wonderful eulogy and brought a lump to my throat. Well done, I think you did him proud.
posted by arcticseal at 5:51 PM on November 11, 2013

What a beautiful eulogy. I wish I'd known him — he sounds like a remarkable person.
posted by Lexica at 6:55 PM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

As others have said, we should all be so lucky to have something so honest and thoughtful and heartfelt written about us. Brava.
posted by mykescipark at 9:48 PM on November 11, 2013

Thinking about Mum now and getting a bit teary.

Well done you.
posted by flabdablet at 11:43 PM on November 11, 2013

posted by Ziggy500 at 2:28 AM on November 12, 2013

Good for you. May his memory be a blessing to you and everyone he knew.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:53 AM on November 12, 2013

You've managed to convey a sense of who he was and who you are through the eulogy. I feel like I was at the service and want to pay my respects as well. Thank you.
posted by jasper411 at 9:50 AM on November 12, 2013

What beautiful people you MeFi people are.

*actual tears*
posted by the quidnunc kid at 10:50 AM on November 12, 2013

My goodness: a well-lived life and a well-told one, too. What a blessing to all who heard or spoke.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:00 AM on November 12, 2013

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