Metatalktail Hour: RECIPES FOR THE RECIPE GOD! February 11, 2017 4:41 PM   Subscribe

It's Metatalktails time! By special request from rtha it's a recipe thread tonight! Food demands fellowship, so share your good feels, your favorite recipe, and/or your favorite meal this week.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) to MetaFilter-Related at 4:41 PM (121 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

I tried my hand at a Full English Breakfast today (except for blood sausage, which I couldn't easily find locally) and my boys were really into it! One liked the tomatoes, the other the mushrooms, but they ate all of it, even the beans (which normally they are big weirdos about but telling them they're what people IN LONDON have for breakfast they were like "OOOOOOOOH, BEANS" because they're obsessed with London because subways). But the two amusing parts were, the baby discovered scrambled eggs and after the initial baby grimace of "ugh new flavor" she was like "WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME?" And my seven-year-old discovered (decaf) tea and has been asking for tea at every meal all day.

I'm going to dig up the recipe for the fantastic porkchop sauce I made last week and post it but I have to remember where I put it first!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 4:45 PM on February 11, 2017 [17 favorites]

Was the full English your feast this week? I was so tickled by that story.

Mr. Freedom made pork chops and matchstick potatoes for dinner tonight. It was most excellent and there's really no recipe - just butter in a skillet, add pork chops (actually bone-in pork butt steaks), cook and then let rest, fry up potatoes in leftover butter and pork drippings. The man knows the way to my heart - fatty fried spuds.
posted by chainsofreedom at 4:52 PM on February 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

I am one of the Metafilter Instant Pot Rabid Fan Brigade, but I had the thing for nearly a year before I thought to make beans in it.

Holy crap, homemade beans are aaaaamaaaazing!

I don't soak, I just rinse and go. I saute an onion to heat up the pot, put in homemade stock if I have it but more likely Better Than Bouillon, two bay leaves, some garlic, salt (more salt than you think), red pepper flakes, a few fennel seeds if I remember. I have a bush full of jalapenos I need to do something with, and I should start using one in my beans.

I mostly make kidneys, pintos, or black beans, or a mix of those, mostly from the bulk bin, but I keep meaning to pick up some cannellini beans to try. I'm not especially concerned about bean integrity; most of these are destined to be mixed in with something else. I eat a lot of Leftovers Bowls for lunch during the week, and occasionally make an omelet out of the Bowls makings. Occasionally I make a batch of pintos so I can make refried beans.

It's just still shocking to me how much better they are than canned.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:58 PM on February 11, 2017 [5 favorites]

Someday I will have a kitchen that is big enough to fit an Instant Pot. They sound amazing, but they're kind of enormous.

I made a double recipe of this chorizo/ sweet potato/ rice thing last Sunday and ate it for a week. I'm not sure that I recommend subsisting on any one recipe for a week, but it definitely made fooding easier.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:04 PM on February 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

"Was the full English your feast this week? I was so tickled by that story."

It was! They've been particularly on about England this week so I thought I'd give it a go. It was a little chaotic getting so many different hot ingredients on the plate at the same moment, but it went pretty well. (We're going to have a nice Sunday dinner tomorrow afternoon, but not quite to Feast level.)


Okay I found the Pork Chops & Apples recipe, which is sort of a mashup of a few different recipes and worked REALLY WELL:

Ingredients: 4 pork chops, salt & pepper, 2 T olive oil, 1/2 cup dry white wine (and a bit more), 1 tsp. minced garlic, 1/2 cup chicken stock, 1 T. butter, 1 T. lemon juice, 1-2 T. Dijon mustard, Worchestershire sauce, 4 apples sliced in 8ths and then in half

Chops: Sprinkle chops with salt and pepper. Place a large skillet over medium-high heat for 2-3 minutes. Add 2 T. olive oil. As soon as wisps rise, add the chops and turn the heat to high. Brown the chops on both sides, about 2 min per side.

Reduce heat to medium. Add wine and garlic and cook, turning the chops once or twice, until the wine is all but evaporated, about 3 minutes.

Add 1/2 cup stock, turn heat to low, cover, and cook 10-15 minutes, turning once. Chops will be firm to the touch when done; juices will run just slightly pink.

Remove chops to platter and cover with foil.

Apples: Add apples, stirring and scraping the pan as the apples cook and adding about 1/2 cup more liquid (wine or stock -- I did wine). Cook 5-7 minutes until apple slices are soft. Place in bowl and sprinkle with lemon juice.

Pan Sauce: Add more liquid if necessary (wine again). Stir in 1 T butter, 1-2 T. Dijon mustard, 1 T. lemon juice, and Worchestershire sauce, scraping pan. Pour over chops (and/or apples).

The pan sauce was RIDICULOUSLY good. You could taste the mustard, the apples, and the pork all in the sauce. It was insane. We all just wanted to mainline the sauce.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 5:10 PM on February 11, 2017 [19 favorites]

It's not my recipe but every time I make it people love it.

Mario Batali's Artichoke Pie
posted by Splunge at 5:14 PM on February 11, 2017

It actually started last week but we had some leftovers this week so it totally counts: home-made corned beef! (Courtesy of "Cook's Illustrated" March/April 2016, in turn courtesy of a neighbor who left a whole stack of 'em on the curb one day.)

Note: you'll need "pink salt" for curing the meat, which you can get online from Amazon etc. It's a mix of sodium nitrite and sodium chloride (table salt), dyed pink to avoid confusion with regular salt. Google "pink curing salt #1", "Prague Powder #1" or "DQ curing salt #1".

Another note: it will take a week in the fridge for the meat to cure all the way through, and it has to simmer for several hours, so plan ahead!

We simplified the original recipe a little, and here's what we did:

Beef brisket, flat cut, 4 - 5 lbs
1 c kosher salt (medium crystal size; for normal table salt use 3/4 cup)
1/2 c brown sugar, packed
2 tsp pink curing salt #1
6 garlic cloves, peeled and lightly smashed
6 bay leaves
2 Tbs black peppercorns
1 Tbs coriander seeds

Make a brine by dissolving the salts and sugar in about 4 qts water, in a pot large enough to hold your brisket but small enough to fit in the fridge.

Submerge the brisket in the brine, adding more water if necessary.

Leave it in the fridge for a week, turning the beef every day or 2 to promote even curing.

When you're ready to cook it, you will also need:

6 carrots
1.5 lbs red potatoes
1 small green cabbage
4 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed

Discard the curing brine and spices, then rinse the beef and the pot.

Put the beef back in the pot with water to cover and simmer 3 - 5 hours.

Cut the vegetables into chunks (we don't bother to peel, just wash them well) and add to the pot about 45 minutes to an hour before serving.

Simmer until the vegetables are soft.

Remove the meat from the broth, slice crossways about 1/4" thick, and serve with some vegetables and broth, plus bread for dunking.
posted by Quietgal at 5:21 PM on February 11, 2017 [4 favorites]

In recent adventures of "Can you Sous Vide it to reheat it?"

Pizza: Yes. The closest I've ever come to having reheated pizza taste like fresh baked.
Hot Dogs: Yes! shh lemme alone I don't own a grill.
Breadsticks: Yes, although they float like the dickens.
Chinese Fried Rice: Yes, it looks like it becomes a single blob of rice, but the kernels separate after reheating.
Nacho Cheese: Yep! I've found that glass half-pint mason jars are best for this.
Cookies: No. It turned into a soggy horrible mass.

I am not on speaking terms with my microwave.
posted by INFJ at 5:35 PM on February 11, 2017 [10 favorites]

My favorite Ethiopian recipes from two of my former tenants:

"Konjit's Spicy" (spicy what? that is up to you!)
chop 3 huge onions
mix with 3-4 tablespoons berere powder (helps to have tenants who bring you their mom's spice blend from Ethiopia but you can make your own or buy it.)
add salt
fry in oil (or ghee/butter) on low 1 hour - or more (these onions should be falling apart, practically liquid)
add meat (you can use chicken, beef, goat) 1 lb is my usual amount) (so the ratio of onion to meat is 3:1)
cook 1/2 to 2 hours depending on meat (chicken less, goat more)
then add olive oil (a spash, a glug? eyeball it)
cook 1/2 hour
add 7-8 ground/finely chopped garlic cloves
cook 15 minutes

Kik Wet from Elizabeth

cook lentils with lots of water in a sauce pan

in a separate pan
fry 1 cup diced onions in oil for 5 minutes (if you use oil it's good for Orthodox fasting days otherwise use butter/ghee)
add 1 1/2 pureed tomatoes (I guess a 15 oz can of tomatoes - this is from an illegible note I wrote)
cook 5 minutes
add water (how much? I don't really now, just to make it slighly goopy)
add 2 tsp berbere and cook 10 minutes
add the cooked lentils and cook 15 minutes
add chopped garlic and cook 15 minutes
add sliced jalapenos (I've alwasy seen these with lengthwise slices but I doubt it matters)

serve with sauteed cabbage/potato/carrot with turmeric and cumin, enjera (if you have a market that sells it) or even just rice.
posted by vespabelle at 5:40 PM on February 11, 2017 [15 favorites]

So, table chatter -- my kindergardener has to do a science fair project and -- this is what kills me -- he has to come up with a hypothesis and an experiment to test the hypothesis. He can't just build a freakin' model of a volcano or the solar system or whatever. So what we came up with (which I'm rather proud of) is how light pollution impacts stargazing (as he is my space-obsessed child). Which required a good 30 minutes of us comparing a google map to a light pollution map to find viewing sites, finding and printing star charts of Orion, and then driving thirty freakin' miles out into the cornfields to pile out of the car and count stars in Orion and mark them on our clipboard. (Then we drove slowly back into town, stopping at a state park, a cemetery with no lights on the service road, and our house, each progressively more light-polluted, to mark all the stars in Orion we could see.) First of all, I am a city mouse, I do not like driving one-lane (YES JUST ONE) rural cornfield roads AFTER DARK WITH NO STREET LIGHTS THIS IS NOT OKAY. I also drive a Mazda 5, I was terrified I'd pull over a little too far to the side of the road, sink into the mud, and get stuck forever. (Children: "Mom, is this a dirt road?" "No, technically this is paved." "But it seems like dirt." "OKAY BUT TECHNICALLY IT'S PAVED.")

Anyway then I had to go buy the presentation trifold and the stick-on letters and star stickers and glue sticks and tomorrow I have to spend the day riding herd on my 5-year-old making a poster board about his Orion-viewing results and this is just WAY MORE TIME than I spent on my own science fair project in 6th grade which is probably why I got a shitty grade on it but creating an experiment a 5-year-old can do themselves takes a lot of background work from the parent!

I am most annoyed that they assigned it last Thursday to be due on February 28, which is NOT ENOUGH TIME for very many sorts of science experiments. With kindergardeners it's mostly "will this float?" "how messy is this going to be?" and "how can I make this bean grow in weird directions?" and it's TOO COLD for the first two in February and not enough lead time for torturing bean plants! If they'd told us before Christmas we could have come up with something more elaborate. Or at least had more options.


Someone post a garlic bread recipe, I love garlic bread but mine always sucks.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 5:48 PM on February 11, 2017 [14 favorites]

For a salad, we sliced up raw brussels sprouts very fine tonight, then rubbed half with salt for a few minutes (to wilt them up) and left half crispy. Mixed with a bit of peeled, sliced Granny Smith apple and tossed with a mustard vinaigrette. So good. And presumably very healthy.

In retrospect, my husband likely cribbed the recipe from here.
posted by whitewall at 6:00 PM on February 11, 2017 [6 favorites]

I chewed a kola nut. It was weird. It made my heart beat a little faster but I can't say I felt any more manly. I also had sweet green corn tamales, chicken karaage, beef cheeks, and chicken fried trout. They were all better than the kola nut but did nothing for my heart.
posted by Stanczyk at 6:05 PM on February 11, 2017 [5 favorites]

Wait infj
In recent adventures of "Can you Sous Vide it to reheat it?"
Pizza: Yes. The closest I've ever come to having reheated pizza taste like fresh baked.

Do you not know about the alton brown method? Throw pizza in a cold dry pan then throw on medium heat. When it starts to smell like pizza crust turn it down a little and throw a lid on to make sure cheese reheats and gets melty and toppings are hot. Total time maybe 7 minutes?

Seriously. I prefer almost all delivery pizza this way to fresh. It's shocking how good it is. When we learned this is the day we finally tossed the microwave and reclaimed the needed counter space. Havent had a microwave in like 3 or maybe 4 years now?
posted by chasles at 6:20 PM on February 11, 2017 [14 favorites]

My meals sucked balls today; I was planning on being out of the house all day in a big "movie outing" binge, but my apartment's heater busted and I had to stick around all day waiting for the mechanic to come by, and they finally came by at about 3 pm so I just said hell with it. Breakfast was grits and bacon, and dinner was semi-homemade ramen* - but "lunch" was ice cream.

I did pass a recipe on to someone who was in a similar "I should eat something but I don't want to cook" mood. It's something I got out of an Irish cookbook, and it involves staples you probably have in some capacity in the house, it's easy to throw together, and if you have this with, like, a salad or vegetable soup it's a decent meal. All you need is two slices of bread, an egg, a cup of shredded cheese and a dab of mustard.

You heat the oven to 450, then you beat the egg up good and then throw in the cheese and a dab of the mustard. Beat that all together. (I like to add a little shake of cayenne pepper too.) Then lay the two slices of bread in a baking sheet, and spread each slice with half the egg and cheese stuff. Then pop that in the oven for 15 minutes until the egg-cheese stuff on top of the bread is puffed up a little and toasty.

* "semi-homemade ramen" is my term for the sort of thrown-together, catch-all ramen I make; I keep a stash of single-serving cakes of noodles from the Asian market in my pantry, and if I want ramen I chop up some veggies and throw them in the soup stock while it's heating (so they cook a bit), cook a cake of the noodles up, and then throw some leftover meat in the broth to warm up too. Then the noodles go in a bowl, I dump the broth with veg over the noodles, and there you go. It's almost like the cup-o-noodles in that it's close to being immediate, but it rarely is something I deliberately set out to make.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:20 PM on February 11, 2017 [7 favorites]

I prepped short-ribs last Sunday and cooked them in the slow cooker all day on Monday. This is a slightly modified recipe based off one from Serious Eats:


5 pounds boneless beef short ribs
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 large yellow onion, chopped
3 tablespoons peeled and grated fresh ginger (from about one 3-inch knob)
6 large cloves garlic, roughly chopped
1 tablespoon Chinese five-spice powder
Zest of 2 oranges, one in wide strips, one finely grated, divided
1/2 cup fresh juice from about 2 medium oranges, divided
1/2 cup dry sherry
1 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup unseasoned rice wine vinegar
1/2 cup honey
2 tablespoons Chinese chili-garlic sauce
1/4 cup hoisin sauce
3 1/2 cups water
1 1/2 tablespoons (18g) cornstarch mixed with 1 1/2 tablespoons (20ml) cold water
3 scallions, white and light green parts only, thinly sliced, for garnish


1. Pat short ribs dry with clean towels. Lightly season short ribs on both sides with salt and more generously with black pepper. Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat until shimmering. Add short ribs in a single layer, working in batches if necessary to avoid crowding the pot. Brown well on all sides, then transfer to a plate and set aside. Pour off all but 2 tablespoons (30ml) fat from Dutch oven.

2. Add onion, ginger, garlic, and five-spice powder to Dutch oven and cook over medium-high heat, stirring, until onions are slightly softened and fragrant, about 4 minutes.

3. Add strips of orange zest and 1/4 cup (60ml) orange juice along with rice wine or sherry, soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, honey, chili paste, hoisin, and chicken stock or water. Stir to combine. Return ribs to Dutch oven along with any accumulated juices. (Alternatively, add ribs, vegetables, and liquid to slow cooker.)

4. When meat is cooked, remove ribs and keep warm in a serving dish. Strain braising liquid into a fat separator (or strain braising liquid, then spoon off as much fat as possible), then pour strained, defatted sauce back into pot. Discard aromatic vegetables. Stir in remaining 1/4 cup (60ml) orange juice. You should have about 3 cups (720ml) total braising liquid; if not, simmer until reduced to 3 cups. Whisk in just enough of cornstarch mixture to slightly thicken sauce, adding it in 1-tablespoon increments (you may not need the whole amount).

5. Return short ribs and reduced sauce to Dutch oven, coating short ribs well with sauce. Sprinkle with scallions and remaining grated orange zest.


You can prep and cook all in the same day, but I prepped this on a Sunday afternoon, and cooked it for 12 hours on Monday. Needs to be cooked in the slow cooker for at least 6-8 hours. Can be done in about 3-4 hours using a dutch oven instead.

I served it with a some shredded cabbage and smashed potatoes:
1. Boil smaller potatoes
2. Put them on a baking pan, and smash them with a fork.
3. Coat with olive oil, salt, and pepper
4. Broil until crispy

Kept the left overs, and reused them for dinner on Tuesday as tacos. Chopped the short ribs up and heated them in a pan with three heaping spoonfulls of hoisin sauce and the juice from an orange. Completed the tacos with corn tortillas and shredded cabbage.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 6:24 PM on February 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

Our best meal this week was copycat Panera broccoli cheddar soup (with chunks of potato instead of celery) and buttermilk biscuits (use a whole stick of butter & make them as drop biscuits rather than delaying biscuit-y goodness by rolling out the dough & cutting circles).

I also made something amazing with lentils, carrots, and sauteed onions. But of course, it was one of those nights where I was just rummaging through the cupboards and adding ingredients until it tasted right, so I have no idea how much of anything I used and will never be able to replicate it.
posted by belladonna at 6:26 PM on February 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

I'm in the middle of making two big batches of dog food: turkey and beef. I actually have a lot of venison out in the garage freezer that I should have used instead of buying all this beef but it's way down at the bottom of the chest freezer so I forgot about it. The beef one will have grass-fed organic beef, yak heart, beef kidney, and lamb liver, and the turkey one will have organic turkey and chicken gizzards, heart, and liver, and both batches will have green beans, celery, spinach, sweet potato, butternut squash, cranberries, apple, garlic, and parsley. And of course bone meal.

Meanwhile I'll get something like popcorn and an old-fashioned for my dinner.
posted by HotToddy at 6:33 PM on February 11, 2017 [5 favorites]

I make this version of beef daube Provençal a lot, usually adding an entire chopped up cauliflower and a bunch of mushrooms for extra vegetables. I bypass the Dutch oven process and make it on the stove instead. If you want to skip the noodles, it's lovely on jasmine rice too. And it's an excuse to open a bottle of red.

However, this is not what we had tonight. Tonight we're grazing on a roasted chicken from the grocery store and a half-assed salad.

The most comforting meal this week was the curry tofu and vegetables on brown rice at our nearby hole in the wall. It sounds mundane, but the whole was greater than the sum of its parts, and it was consumed with a lot of needed cheap chardonnay after a difficult week of work and the sad but merciful death of my sweet auntie who had Alzheimer's.

In other food-related news, we went on a walk this morning and I got smooches from a 6 month old spaniel pup named Waffles.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 6:46 PM on February 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

I perfected gluten free /vegan cupcakes after asking this Question. Cup4Cup, rice milk, longer bake time and awesome recipe book saved my cupcakes! So excited for next weekend for baby Kitty's 1st birthday!
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 6:47 PM on February 11, 2017 [5 favorites]

Ignoring the "skinny" in the title, this vegetarian taco salad was good and everyone in the family liked it.

And this is just wrongly rightly delicious (brisket from Smitten Kitchen).
posted by anya32 at 6:48 PM on February 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

Made mom chicken and stuffing last night. Simplest thing.

Store-roasted chicken (I know the local store pulls some out at 5:30, so I get a hot one.)
4 Small cornbread loaves.
Store chopped mirepoix.
Chop up the cornbread and put it in a 350 oven.
Sweat the veggies in 1/2 stick of butter. Throw in some Bell's poultry seasoning.
Break down the chicken.
When the veggies are soft, throw in a can of chicken broth.
When it's boiling, throw in the cornbread, turn off the heat and cover. Wait 5 minutes, fluff it up and serve.

Mom liked it. I just had chicken, can't eat bread.

Dessert was coconut cream fudgesicles.
posted by Marky at 7:16 PM on February 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

I had some leftover, home canned marinara, to reheat. I keep seeing these recipes for Moroccan Eggs, so I decided to make California Whatever eggs. In a medium small cast iron skillet, With about a tablespoon of olive oil, I sauteed one clove of garlic, three skinny strips of 45 degree angle chopped celery, and half of a large red pepper sliced in strips. While this was going on I put a large piece of sourdough round in the toaster oven, and found a slice of Fontina cheese. I put some dried basil, spike seasoning, and some shakes of cumin on the vegetable sautee. When the vegetables were cooked, I put about 1 cup of marinara in the pan, and cracked two eggs on top of that, and then I put the lid on the pan, and let it cook on medium low heat long enough for the eggs to be poached on top, but yolks still soft. I put the toast on a plate and put the Fontina on the toast. Then I lifted the eggs out of the pan and put them on the cheese, and poured the rest of the pan's contents on top of the eggs. I sprinkled some Parmesan cheese over the top, and this was very, very good. I washed this down with excellent coffee, and followed it up with a slice of Pannetone cake which I found on sale, as good as it was at Christmas. Yes.
posted by Oyéah at 7:16 PM on February 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

I was on easy mode this week and made garlic parmesan chicken. About 1/4 c olive oil heated on medium for a few minutes with a couple of cloves of pressed garlic. Let it cool. Mix up bread crumbs and grated parmesan in equal amounts with salt and pepper. Dip the chicken breast in the garlic oil, then coat in the bread crumb and parm mixture. Bake at 350F for 30 minutes.
posted by kamikazegopher at 7:26 PM on February 11, 2017 [5 favorites]

I made a double recipe of this chorizo/ sweet potato/ rice thing last Sunday and ate it for a week. I'm not sure that I recommend subsisting on any one recipe for a week, but it definitely made fooding easier.

Ah, Budget Bytes. Love that recipe and her site in general.

I got my very first slow cooker this past xmas and made this simple but delicious beef stew. The house smelled divine all day.
posted by cozenedindigo at 7:27 PM on February 11, 2017

Hey, here is this thing I saw, on a piece about roasting whole animals. These individuals were roasting a goat, they took wands of rosemary, and put them in hot oil, long enough to release the rosemary oil and they rubbed the cooking meat with the hot rosemary wands. I thought that was an amazing bit. Where I live, a family member has a huge shrub of rosemary, rosemary galore.
posted by Oyéah at 7:32 PM on February 11, 2017

Ordered delivery tonight, cochinita pibil from a local restaurant. Arrived with pickled onions, pico de gallo, and guacamole. Appetizer of cheese and pasilla pepper quesadilla. SO GOOD.

And I also had brussels sprout salad earlier this week for lunch! I do this Brussels Sprouts, Grape & Apple Salad with Walnuts & Parmesan salad, except with almonds instead of walnuts because I don't like walnuts very much. I've made it several times, but this time I used brussels sprouts from a local farmstand, and oh my frickin' goodness they were SO GOOD.
posted by lazuli at 7:40 PM on February 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

> Holy crap, homemade beans are aaaaamaaaazing!

Get you some beans from Rancho Gordo, stat! Do not overthink them (though it can be hard to choose because they are all so beautiful), just get some and cook 'em and eat 'em!

Dinner tonight was pretty basic but tasty. Get some sausages (we used chicken and apple, but whatever you like, I imagine, would be fine). Cut them up and brown them; remove from the pan and throw in some chopped shallots (we were out of onions, but had a lot of shallots for some reason) and a chopped clove of garlic, and once they're getting a little color, put in some chopped up kale (we had curly), make sure it's still got some water on it. You want the steam it makes. Let it cook down a little under a lid. Then add some vinegar (I used apple cider and balsamic) - not too much, but...enough), a little water if things look too dry, and put the lid back on and let everything cook down a little. Then add some feta cheese, and let it get melty and turn everything kind of creamy. Put the sausage back in and reheat, and then put in bowls and eat. Mmmmm.
posted by rtha at 7:59 PM on February 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

Bondcliff's Late Night Snack

1) Pour some single malt scotch into a glass. Much as you want.
2) Don't add any ice or nothin'.
3) Enjoy.
posted by bondcliff at 8:00 PM on February 11, 2017 [19 favorites]

Also, thank you very much for taking my suggestion. I have been nostalgic of late for many things, among them recipe threads in metatalk!
posted by rtha at 8:04 PM on February 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

I make dutch babies most weekends now. There is a whole group on MLKSHK dedicated to sharing photos of our favorite babies. The recipe is so damned easy. This is for one, easily doubled.

1/4 c flour + 1/4 c milk
whisk it
add 1 beaten egg
mix it

For savory baby add: parsley, salt, garlic powder, that sort of thing
for sweet baby add 2 t sugar, mace, nutmeg, cardamom, whatever you like

Heat oven to 425F/220C
Put 8" skillet in oven til hot
melt 1-2 T butter in skillet to coat bottom but do not brown
pour mixture in skillet & put in oven
bake 15-20 minutes or until brown

serve with fruit, syrup, fresca, sausage, whatever
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:11 PM on February 11, 2017 [15 favorites]

I recently got a spiralizer and this is my favorite new salad: Raw Beet and Sweet Potato with Creamy Garlic Lime Dressing. It's so pretty and so good and very quick and easy. I didn't think the pepitas added anything to it, I like to sprinkle it with black sesame seeds instead. I have a whole huge bag left over from something else and they look lovely against the bright colors of the salad
posted by BoscosMom at 8:16 PM on February 11, 2017 [4 favorites]

I didn't make anything good today, but I did install a damn dishwasher pretty much solo so I feel accomplished anyway
posted by Existential Dread at 8:40 PM on February 11, 2017 [9 favorites]

Frozen cavatelli and store-bought meatballs (for the meat eater) tonight, because I was lazy, but I served them with tomato sauce I'd made a few days ago. I used vegetarian Worcestershire sauce instead of fish sauce, threw in a little tomato paste and red wine, and finished the sauce with butter and olive oil. It was great and really did taste as if it had cooked for hours, not in the pressure cooker. Yup, I'm another instant pothead.
posted by zorseshoes at 9:19 PM on February 11, 2017

My friend Jaimie made this for me once and now I make it all the time.

Bean Dip!
• 2 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil; more for the baking dish
• 2 medium tomatoes, cored and cut into medium dice
• 2 tsp. kosher salt; more as needed
• 1 large yellow onion, finely diced
• 3 large cloves garlic, minced
• 1 Tbs. chili powder
• 2 15-1/2 oz. cans black beans, rinsed and drained well
• 2 canned chipotles en adobo, minced (about 1 Tbs.), plus 3 Tbs. adobo sauce
• 3 Tbs. cider vinegar
• 1-1/2 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels (if frozen, thaw first)
• 1-1/2 cups (6 oz.) grated sharp cheddar cheese
• 1-1/2 cups (6 oz.) grated Monterey Jack cheese
• 3/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• Freshly ground black pepper
• Tortilla chips for serving
Heat the oven to 425ºF. Grease a 1-1/2 qt. baking dish with oil and line a baking sheet with foil. Set the tomatoes in a colander over the sink and sprinkle with 1 tsp. of the salt.

Heat the oil in a large (12-inch) skillet over medium-high heat until shimmering hot. Reduce the heat to medium, add the onion, sprinkle with 1 tsp. salt, and cook, stirring, until softened and translucent, 4 to 6 minutes. Add the garlic and chili powder and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add half of the black beans, the chipotles and adobo sauce, and 3/4 cup water and bring to a boil. Cook until the liquid reduces by about half, 2 to 3 minutes.

Transfer the bean mixture to a food processor, add the vinegar, and process until smooth. Let cool for a couple of minutes and then transfer to a large bowl. Add the rest of the beans, the tomatoes, corn, half of each of the cheeses, and 1/2 cup of the cilantro. Mix well and season to taste with salt and pepper.

Transfer to the baking dish and sprinkle with the remaining cheese. Bake on the foil-lined baking sheet (to catch drips) until the cheese melts and browns around the edges, about 15 minutes (longer if refrigerated). Sprinkle with the remaining cilantro and serve with the tortilla chips for dipping.
posted by janepanic at 9:30 PM on February 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

I've been feasting this weekend in honour of my mum's birthday. We had our first ever degustation menu. 10 courses, 3 of which were desserts. One of the desserts had chocolate 5 ways (actually 6, but white chocolate is not chocolate). Mum probably likes chocolate more than I do (if that's even possible), I'm still coming down from the sugar high and the whole thing was a great experience even if I could feed myself for 2 weeks for the cost of that one meal.
posted by pianissimo at 9:37 PM on February 11, 2017 [4 favorites]

There was this stupid crazy sale on oysters at the commissary -5$ a dozen - so I got four dozen and shucked them. Then I threw two handfuls of spinach, a pack of scallions, some watercress, a stick and a half-ish of butter, copious quantities of hot sauce - maybe two or three tablespoons? - a teaspoon fennel seed, (which I washed out the coffee grinder and ground there) and a shot of Jaegermeister, into the blender. It's kind of like a food processor! Anyway, I put a dollop of that on each oyster, topped it with Parmesan cheese, and had this immense Oysters Rockefeller feast and it was just nice for like a whole hour.
posted by corb at 9:54 PM on February 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

into one breadmaker, assemble 2 cups water, 4 cups whole wheat flour, ~ 1.5 teaspoons salt, ~ 1.5 teaspoons vinegar, 2 teaspoons honey, 2 teaspoons yeast. bread comes out.

heaping spoonful curry paste optional (use slightly less honey)
posted by aniola at 10:16 PM on February 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

on popcorn: drizzles of elderberry syrup & sesame oil, pinches of kosher salt
posted by aniola at 10:18 PM on February 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

Oatmeal + sautéed green beans and tofu + teriyaki sauce.
I had savory oatmeal once because I had carrots, maybe hummus and/or vegan cheddar cheese stuff(I'm not sure?), nothing sweet to go with the oatmeal, and nothing but oatmeal to go with the carrots. Savory oatmeal had never occurred to me before and now I'm not sure when the last time I had sweet oatmeal even was.
posted by Verba Volant at 10:50 PM on February 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

How is it possible to make garlic bread that sucks? You are clearly cursed, Eyebrows. Here you go, though. We do a less fancy version of this all the time (just the garlic and the butter and the broiler) and it is delicious.
posted by charmedimsure at 11:54 PM on February 11, 2017

Someone post a garlic bread recipe, I love garlic bread but mine always sucks.

OG Garlic Bread aka Garlic Bruschetta

- loaf of good rustic style bread
- couple cloves of garlic, peeled
- good olive oil
- sea salt

Slice your bread into slices no thinner than half an inch and chuck it into the oven directly on the rack, flipping it once until your desired level of toastiness is achieved.

Rub the garlic all over one side of the toasted bread. Drizzle the olive oil over the top and sprinkle with the sea salt.

I grew up with the Italian-American butter/garlic salt garlic bread, and it has a place in the comfort food annals of my heart. But this shiznit is a garlic bomb of simple yumminess and somewhat healthier.
posted by romakimmy at 12:00 AM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

I haven't eaten yet today, but I'm very interested in garlic bread and will offer two versions of it here.

The first is from when I worked in a supermarket bakery as a teen, and is the absolute garbage garlic bread of which I sometimes dream. You need a loaf of shitty white bread--you know the ~Italian loaf~ that supermarket sell for like $2? It's that. Buy that. You also need a tub of decent margarine (I used to like Country Crock, but then they changed the recipe and now I don't have a rec anymore--but whatever kind you find most palatable), garlic powder, salt, dried parsley, and paprika. Cut the loaf in half so you have two long flat halves. Decant your margarine into a bowl, and then add garlic powder--a lot of it, like, more than you'd expect. We never measured, we just covered the entire surface of the margarine with a thick layer of garlic powder. Then add a little salt, maybe a quarter cup of parsley, and a teaspoon or two of paprika. Mix all that up really well, then spread it thickly onto the bread. A single loaf of bread needs a good eight ounces of "butter". Sprinkle with cheese if you want, then stick into a hot oven until the margarine is melted and the bread has gone crunchy and brown. This is 100% garbage and also sometimes irresistibly delicious to me. You can make it with butter, if you want--use like a stick and a half of soft butter, plus a couple tablespoons of olive oil. It's definitely *better* this way, but sometimes I just crave the chemical tang of margarine.

If you would like garlic bread that's Nice, either do the above, but with butter, or put a quarter cup of butter in a skillet, then grate in several (this is subjective) garlic cloves. Simmer it for a couple minutes, then add another half cup of butter and a quarter cup of olive oil, and stir until the butter is all melted. Spread a decent bread thickly with this and pop it into the oven until it's browned up and crunchy.

I will also say that, hypothetically, if you did the last one, but used equal parts butter and olive oil, and maybe added some thyme and rosemary, and then poured it over thick slices of a nice loaf with a fairly open crumb, and then baked it at, say, three fifty or three seventy-five for maybe twenty or thirty minutes, until it's gone fairly brown all over, you might have some impossibly crispy and indescribably delicious garlic bread. Further, I can neither confirm nor deny that I do this all the time with all olive oil and bite-sized cubes of bread and make literally the greatest croutons that anyone could ever eat.
posted by mishafletch at 12:01 AM on February 12, 2017 [7 favorites]

Well from the recipes so far it's clear to me that I have not been using NEARLY enough butter!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 12:34 AM on February 12, 2017 [3 favorites]

im eating a cheese book

this is when you take a slice of cheese and fold it into 4 quarters and then in half once again and then eat the little book page by page
posted by poffin boffin at 2:18 AM on February 12, 2017 [20 favorites]

it's so gr8
posted by poffin boffin at 2:18 AM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

Pour water in tray
Put tray in freezer till solid.

Pour Campari, sweet vermouth, and gin in roughly equal measures, then some (How many? We'll never know! Live a little!) dashes of orange bitters or whatever. Put ice in there.

posted by Joseph Gurl at 2:25 AM on February 12, 2017 [4 favorites]

Well from the recipes so far it's clear to me that I have not been using NEARLY enough butter!

If it is deliciousness you seek, you can almost never go wrong with MOAR BUTTER.
posted by pianissimo at 3:57 AM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

Well from the recipes so far it's clear to me that I have not been using NEARLY enough butter!
No. No you have not. Also, add more salt.

OK: 15-minute bacon spaghetti (uses neither butter nor salt.) This is only to be used when you can't be arsed to cook properly.

  • Get a pot of water boiling

  • Chop up 200g (2/3 rashers) of good bacon

  • Pour about 50-75 mls of oil from the sun-dried tomatoes jar into a pan

  • Chop up an onion.

  • Throw the bacon in with the oil while you chop the sun-dried tomatoes up a bit

  • Add the onion to the bacon in the pan

  • Water's boiling. Drop in the right amount of spaghetti. You now have eight minutes.

  • Chop up some zucchini. Or capsicum. Maybe some mushroom. Slam it in the pan. Add the chopped sun-dried tomatoes. Maybe some fresh chilli.

  • Add all the fucking garlic. Seriously. All of it.

  • Any basil to hand? Now's the time to throw it in. Also, a few chopped olives.

  • Poke at things until the timer goes for the spaghetti.

  • Strain pasta, add bacon mix, bit of parmesan, all the ground black pepper and off you go.

  • Debate over Chardonnay vs. Verdelho vs. Sav Blanc.

  • Fifteen minutes from "I'm hungry" to "This is excellent."
    posted by Combat Wombat at 3:58 AM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    I make garlic bread by cutting a baguette into diagonal slices ( but not all the way through, so you can tear off the slices when it’s finished), buttering all the slices with copious quantities of garlic butter, wrapping it in foil and cooking it in the oven. So the garlic butter penetrates the bread and makes it all crunchy, almost like roast potatoes.
    posted by Bloxworth Snout at 5:07 AM on February 12, 2017 [3 favorites]

    ... not been using NEARLY enough butter!

    posted by Bruce H. at 5:25 AM on February 12, 2017

    I made these gluten free chocolate chip cookies which are supposedly healthy but obviously not if you eat a dozen of them at once, which I did:

    12 pitted dates
    1 c. walnuts or pecans or almonds
    1 egg
    1 t. vanilla
    1/8 t. salt
    1/4 t. baking soda
    4 oz dark chocolate chips

    Blend dates and walnuts in a food processor until finely ground. (It might start to form a paste, but conversely, don’t worry if it’s a little chunky.) Add egg, vanilla, salt and soda and blend to combine. Fold in chips. Spoon onto parchment covered cookie sheets.

    Bake at 350 for 9-11 minutes. You want them to just turn golden and yet still be soft in the middle. Let cool before serving.

    Also, I refused to believe frozen brown bananas were good for anything except banana bread and smoothies, and then I discovered if you throw them in a food processor and let it go for around 5 minutes, you are rewarded with banana ice cream. It has a thick and rich and delicious mouthfeel--it's like the best ice cream you've ever had. Go crazy with peanut butter powder, also. Generously sprinkle with jimmies, because Boston.
    posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 6:14 AM on February 12, 2017 [4 favorites]

    home-made corned beef!

    I also made corned beef this week! Our "meat club" CSA gave us brisket last week and I didn't feel like cooking it right then and I also didn't want to freeze it, so there we are. When it was done I ended up serving it with just cabbage, though.

    The butcher also had veal for the first time in forever, so I went a little nuts with that. For some reason I can never find veal around here. (The meat was all local and humanely raised!) So:

    Veal chops from the loin - basically T-bone steaks. Much leaner than a beef would be, so you need to be mindful not to overcook it. Seared in the pan, served with fried potatoes and steamed green beans. White wine sauce made by sauteing some shallots and garlic in the pan, deglazing with the wine and a little bit of stock, and then whisking in butter to make it nice and rich.

    Osso buco - braised shanks. Brown the shanks, remove from the pot. Add diced carrot, celery, onion, and garlic. Add veal stock, parsley, thyme, and bay leaves, and then return the meat to the pot. Simmer slowly until the meat is almost falling apart. Served with creamy polenta and pan-cooked Brussels sprouts. I strained and reduced the braising liquid and used that as a sauce.

    White veal stock - so many French sauces require veal stock and I never have any UNTIL NOW. Started with about 8 pounds of bones. Blanche the bones (fill a pot with bones and water, bring to a boil, and then drain the water and rinse the bones). Return the bones to the pot with fresh water, add onions, leeks, thyme, and parsley (I don't think I added carrots or celery...). Bring to a boil, then bare simmer for around six hours. Made about a gallon of stock, which I canned in quart jars.

    Sausage - classic German sausages require veal, so I made a bratwurst and a weisswurst. Brats are 3/5 pork, 1/5 veal, and 1/5 pork fat - grind all that up, mix with a couple eggs, some nonfat milk powder, and seasonings until sticky, and stuff in to hog casings. These were delicious and tasted exactly like what I remember from living in Germany.

    The weisswurst is an emulsified sausage, which starts with less meat but makes up the difference with eggs and milk or cream. This one is veal meat and pork fat, ground, added to the mixer with eggs, milk, parsley, and lemon zest. Beat hard until completely smooth. Stuff in to hog casings and poach gently, then you can give them a little time in a pan for color. Also delicious but every single one of the casings split for some unknown reason - I may have damaged the casings getting it on the stuffer nozzle.
    posted by backseatpilot at 6:20 AM on February 12, 2017 [3 favorites]

    Good morning! I've promised myself that I will do better with meals this Sunday. So far we're off to a decent start - breakfast was bacon, eggs, and toast. I'm going to an afternoon show at the Alamo Drafthouse here in Brooklyn, but it's not early enough in the afternoon that I can have lunch there. But - it's late enough, and I live close enough, that I can start a soup in the crock pot before I go, and have it waiting when I get home. So I just have to pick up a couple of random things on my way home and then open up the crock pot and there we go.

    Lunch is going to be something I improvise after cleaning out the fridge a bit. There are odds and ends of things and I have a lot of eggs so it may be some kind of sandwich or something.
    posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:24 AM on February 12, 2017

    I have a collection of flavorings (cherry, mint, tangerine, hazelnut, etc.) and of foods that are good for coloring other foods (reduced beet juice, spirulina, turmeric, cocoa, etc.).

    Sometimes I use a powered hand mixer to whip some whipping cream. Near the end of the whipping I'll add some sugar, some flavor, some color, and then riiight before it's whipped cream, add in some chopped chocolate chips.

    So I'll get (for examples) a beet-pink cherry chocolate chip whipped cream, or a turmeric tangerine chocolate chip whipped cream (the turmeric actually helps with the flavor, too!), or a green mint chip whipped cream, or a mousse (I don't know what a mousse actually is, but this is light and fluffy and rich and chocolatey, so).

    I picked up a stack of condiment cups from a free pile on the side of the road a few months ago, and they have been the perfect size for serving whipped cream.

    You can also freeze it, but then you have to add more sugar so it stays softer.

    This morning I will be making some whipped cream, flavor to be determined.
    posted by aniola at 7:24 AM on February 12, 2017

    In the previous comment, I mentioned reduced beet juice. This isn't a common ingredient, so I should probably explain where it came from.

    This summer we had a CSA that kept giving us beets. I'm not in the habit of beets (except chioggia), and my partner only likes them boiled, but never thinks to boil them. Plus beets are a root vegetable, so they keep well in the bottom of the fridge. At the end of the summer, we had a drawer full of beets.

    I sliced 'em up and boiled as many as would fit in a pot. The beets went into containers in the fridge and were gone within a week, but right now I'm here to tell y'all about that bright red liquid that was still in the pot. I put it back on the stove and kept cooking. What I ended up with was a tiny jar's worth of beet syrup. It has kept in the fridge for months, and every once in a while I'll color something beet.

    I once added this beet coloring to a savory dip, and it was so confusing! I had a hard time eating that dip, because I kept expecting it to be sweet. Apparently pink = sweet.

    A while later, I boiled up the other batch of beets. It was late, so I figured I'd leave the beet juice out and boil it the next day. The next day it had oxidized (a guess) and turned brown. Pretty sure this step is optional. I figured I'd try reducing it anyway, and maybe it would just be a brown food coloring. I didn't check on it at the right time, and it went past the syrup stage to the molasses stage. Anyone who tries it will tell you it tastes like a bitter molasses. Definitely bitter and definitely sweet and definitely molasses.
    posted by aniola at 7:49 AM on February 12, 2017 [3 favorites]

    Here's a great resource if you decide to hate people.
    posted by Nanukthedog at 7:50 AM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    Bobby Flay has a grilled garlic bread recipe that I use, except with a broiler. (The recipe's at the bottom of that link. The rest of that recipe is also outstanding, especially the tomato relish. I always cook the beans from scratch, though, mainly because they're better but also because I have never seen canned pinquito beans.)
    posted by lazuli at 8:13 AM on February 12, 2017

    Hamburger Macaroni Tomato Bake (culled from a variety of sources, not my own invention)


    2 tablespoons oil
    1 large onion, chopped
    1 green bell pepper, stemmed, seeded, chopped
    3 medium garlic cloves, minced
    3 tablespoons chili powder
    1 tablespoon ground cumin
    2 teaspoons dried oregano
    1 pound ground beef
    1 (28-ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes, roughly chopped, juice reserved
    2 tablespoons Sriracha
    Freshly ground black pepper
    2 tsp. salt
    1 pound elbow macaroni
    1 pound mozzarella (preferably) or cheddar, grated


    Preheat oven to 425°F.

    Saute hamburger, stirring/mashing to make sure there are no clumps of meat. Drain fat off and rinse the hamburger under very hot running water.

    Heat oil in Dutch oven. Add onion and green pepper and cook, stirring often, until soft, about 2 minutes. Add garlic, chili powder, cumin, and oregano. Stir continuously until very fragrant, 30 seconds to 1 minute.

    Add cooked/drained hamburger.

    Add tomatoes and juice and the Sriracha, stir well, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to maintain a steady simmer and cook until thickened, about 30 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.

    Cook pasta after the hamburger is ready. Drain. Immediately add to tomato hamburger mixture.

    Add cheese; stir just to mix, don't overstir.

    Put in casserole(s). Bake in oven for approximately 15 minutes.

    Serve with a tossed green salad.
    posted by purplesludge at 8:51 AM on February 12, 2017

    I just asked the internet. Apparently I made blackstrap molasses.
    posted by aniola at 8:55 AM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    Change of plan....

    While cleaning the fridge I discovered half a package of salt cod that I need to use, a tiny package of ground beef and some sour cream. And in the pantry, I have lentils and two packages of different heirloom beans.

    So - lunch will be butternut squash soup; I don't like super-sweet squash soup, so I'll just have a super-simple recipe I have, which is nothing more than the squash, water, and a clove of garlic.

    And I've started some beans soaking, so tonight is going to be some kind of beans with salad or greens or something. And then will start the salt cod soaking before I go to bed tonight, so by tomorrow night it will be ready for a stew. Any leftover beans can be either a soup or stew, and the ground beef can be beef stroganoff.

    I also discovered while cleaning the fridge that some sweet potatoes and beets were starting to go moldy and the celery I have is really not in good shape. So I'll be picking up some basic veg on the way home from the movie.
    posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:02 AM on February 12, 2017

    I just finished making a giant pot (I learnt from my mistake last time and went straight for my giant stock pot rather than my slightly less giant cast iron pot that wasn't actually giant enough for six cans of chopped tomatoes and everything else, requiring an emergency mid-bolognese transfer between cast iron and stock pot) of big batch bolognese, which is very tasty and will provide quick freezer meals for t'husband and I for awhile.

    I also made use it up soup (bacon, celery, carrot, leeks, potatoes, veg stock, mostly all scrounged from things that were lurking or leftovers from the bolognese prep) for my lunches this week and I am very much considering making gluten free chocolate chip cookies but my most reliable recipe requires chilling the dough for a couple hours and I want them nooooooooow.

    Shortly I will make a Mediterranean fish stew from a meal box, which should be nice and quick for dinner.
    posted by halcyonday at 9:12 AM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

    I made a new to me bolognaise that blew my brain out. It was a combo of different recipes I looked at.
    I email myself recipes when I come up with a winner so that I know I can always find it again, and this I emailed to myself pretty immediately.

    Fast and Easy but delicious fancy bolognese

    (All amounts given are very rough)

    -1 medium onion diced
    -1 very large carrot finely chopped (I use my mini-processor)
    -oil and butter

    -1 pound beef or mixed ground beef/veal/pork or any combo thereof
    -1/2 fat can whole peeled plum tomatoes (about 5 tomatoes), cut up in small pieces, keep the sauce in the can handy

    -1 cup chicken or beef stock
    -1 cup dry white wine
    -pinch or two of dried oregano

    -dollop to 1/2 cup or so heavy cream, 1/2 and 1/2 , or milk

    Everything cooked below over medium to medium high heat

    Saute onions in oil and butter til translucent. and chopped carrots and saute 5 mins more. Season to taste. Add ground beef stirring frequently to break up. Cook til just brown, season to taste again.
    Add tomatoes, stock, wine, oregano and grate in some nutmeg. Simmer for 20-25 mins or till cooked down. Season yet again if necessary.Add some sauce from can if you feel more acid is needed.
    Add cream and stir and cook another 5 -10 mins or so til liquid mostly gone.

    This would be amazing on pappardelle. I personally just ate it straight out of the bowl. All night long. And this morning.
    Is it wrong that I ate all of it between last night and this morning?
    Because if eating an entire pot of bolognese in one night and one morning by myself is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
    posted by newpotato at 9:13 AM on February 12, 2017 [9 favorites]

    Coffee. Black.
    posted by Fizz at 9:18 AM on February 12, 2017

    Tonight will be sous vide steaks -- easy, but reliably good.
    posted by Dip Flash at 9:26 AM on February 12, 2017

    I have a Sunday dinner question!

    I know what the side is going to be (two bean mix with chopped smoked meat (cappolta, it's like prosciutto but less salty), rice and some riced broccoli ) but no idea what to serve as a main? Anything but fish, ideas?
    posted by The Whelk at 9:41 AM on February 12, 2017

    Comrade Doll is making her Hungarian meatballs today. Basically, you combine the same ingredients you'd use to make meatloaf, only you load it up with garlic and savory (the spice named savory, that is). Then you form little balls about 3 inches in diameter and fry them in oil, turning once. The outside takes on a caramelly colored lightly carbonized goodness. Then you let them cool to a bit warmer than room temperature.

    And then you just eat 'em and high five each other, because they're awesome.
    posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:49 AM on February 12, 2017

    I love passing along this recipe for pasta with tomato-cilantro sauce. I made it in an attempt to recreate a dish I had at an Italian restaurant and it's almost identical. Something about the unexpected cilantro and brightness from the zest just makes it special. Out of all the things I've cooked for family and friends it's the most requested by far, and couldn't be easier:

    Pasta with tomato-cilantro sauce

    1lb dried linguine

    1 jar Classico Spicy Tomato sauce*
    1 bunch cilantro, chopped (to taste)
    Zest of 1 lemon
    Parmesan cheese (optional)

    Cook pasta.

    Meanwhile, heat sauce. Just before serving add chopped cilantro and zest to sauce. Add pasta to combine and serve.

    *If you can't find the Classico or prefer to make your own sauce, the key is that it's on the thinner side. This recipe for fresh tomato sauce is very close, just omit the basil.
    posted by Room 641-A at 9:52 AM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    I'm looking at fish pie, we have a reliable recipe off the internet that replaces having to do a sauce with grating stuff. Yay, as I have no patience for stirring stuff.
    posted by biffa at 9:54 AM on February 12, 2017

    I'm making chili this afternoon. Nothing fancy and I don't measure anything--l've probably made it 100 times.
    Browned ground beef, diced onion, some garlic, chili powder, some cumin, a can of dark kidney beans , maybe a can of black beans as well, and tomato juice. I might add a small can of tomato sauce to thicken it a bit.
    No actual tomatoes because I just can't bear eating them--it's a texture thing. And yes, I am one of "those people" who puts beans in chili.
    Serve with crackers and top with grated cheddar and sour cream. I'll probably be eating this for a couple of days. It's one of those recipes that can get away from you. However, it also freezes really well.
    posted by bookmammal at 9:57 AM on February 12, 2017

    Oh, and the best thing I've eaten in the last 10 days were tacos from the Carnitas Ebenezer truck and the 1/2 lb of carnitas I brought home and ate over the next three meals.
    posted by Room 641-A at 10:09 AM on February 12, 2017

    Oh, my soup came out real well....nice and thick. And it actually went towards knocking back the array of monster-size CSA squash I got over the course of the winter that my roommate has been calling "the squash forest".

    Okay, because it's super-simple -

    All you need is cubed butternut squash, garlic, and water, and if you have salt and some sage (fresh OR dried, whatever you have, it's all good) that works too. You just dump the cubed squash in a pot, add like one whole garlic clove per pound, and put in JUST enough water to almost-but-not-quite cover the squash. Then add a little salt and the herbs if you got them (just, like, a couple shakes of the dried or a handful of chopped leaves if you have fresh) and then put that all on the stove, bring to a boil, and then simmer until the squash is soft, and then you puree it. That's it. I just turned a four-pound squash into soup and ended up with about a half gallon.

    The original recipe also called for throwing in a couple slices of bread before you puree it to thicken it, but I didn't have any and this batch didn't need it. So that's optional if you want to up the thickness.
    posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:28 AM on February 12, 2017

    I made a very similar soup last night with a halved head of cauliflower and one sliced yam/orange sweet potato, in the Instant Pot (it was a tough old cauliflower and so ended up needing about 10m total pressure, but usually I do this in 6 or so minutes). I had half an onion so I put that in, and a couple cloves of garlic, and just before I stuck the stick blender in I threw in a couple chunks of butter (and then later realized sour cream would have been even better). I packed it up in lunch portions for this week, and I will mince up some leftover grilled chicken to go in it.

    I will have to talk myself out of needing garlic toast to eat on the side.
    posted by Lyn Never at 11:08 AM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]


    Here's an easy recipe I invented on a whim: The Easiest, Cheapest, Most Laissez Faire Recipe for Potato Soup Ever that Only Requires One Pot and Like 4ish Ingredients . It's great for spoonies, broke college or elderly kids, or those of us too tired from fighting the cheeto but still want something home-cooked, or people who aren't good with measurements and just like to throw things together.

    You need:
    Chicken bouillon (I prefer the loose powder that comes in a jar near the hispanic food section)
    some chicken
    corn (optional)
    one (or two) packets of pepper gravy (or country gravy, whatever)

    • Put on a pot of water. Measurement: 2/3 of how much soup you want. A whole pot? 2/3 pot of water, etc.
    • Wash potatoes, cut them up. However you want. Cubed. Coins. literally doesn't matter. About 3 potatoes for ever 5ish cups of water.
    • Cut up the chicken. Chicken can be anything - thighs. drumsticks, whatever. The chicken can even be ham.
    • Add the chicken bouillon to the water. I use extra. So if the jar says 1 tsp per cup, I use probably 13 tsp for 9 cups of water.
    • Add the chicken and potatoes to the water.
    •Once they are cooked, dump in some corn. Frozen, canned, fresh? doesn't matter.
    •Stir in the gravy mix. For a medium size pot of soup (feeds like 3 people) use one package, for more than that use 2.

    The end! The whole thing takes like 20 minutes.

    boil some chicken stock, throw in chicken and potatoes. once cooked, throw in corn and gravy mix. eat it.
    posted by FirstMateKate at 11:12 AM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    Here is a recipe for Tamale Pie which my mother found in Gourmet Magazine, January 1984 - she hung onto that issue for decades only for it to get mistakenly tossed out last summer, but luckily I had my photocopy of the pages (I think I'll get it printed up big and laminate it so we both have good kitchen-mess-proof versions).

    For the beef mixture:
    1 cup chopped onion
    1 cup chopped green bell pepper
    2 tablespoons vegetable oil
    1 pound lean ground beef
    1 8-ounce can tomato sauce
    2 tablespoons tomato paste
    1 10-ounce package frozen corn, thawed
    1 cup sliced Spanish olives
    1 tablespoon ground cumin
    2 teaspoons unsweetened cocoa powder
    1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
    2 teaspoons chili powder
    1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
    1 teaspoon Tabasco
    1 tablespoon yellow cornmeal

    For the cornbread topping:
    1 cups all-purpose flour sifted with 1 cup yellow cornmeal, 3 tablespoons sugar, and 2 teaspoons double-acting baking powder
    3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
    3/4 cups milk
    1 large egg, beaten lightly
    1/2 cup grated sharp cheddar
    (optional) 1 4-ounce cans green chili peppers, chopped

    Make the beef mixture: In a large skillet cook the onion and the green pepper in the oil over moderately low heat, stirring, until the vegetables are softened, add the beef, and cook the mixture over moderate heat, stirring, until the beef is no longer pink. Stir in the tomato sauce, the tomato paste, the corn, the olives, the cumin, the cocoa powder, the allspice, the chili powder, the Worcestershire sauce, the Tabasco, and the cornmeal. Simmer the mixture, stirring occasionally, for 30 minutes, and add additional Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco if desired. Spoon the mixture into a shallow 2 1/2 quart casserole. (The mixture may be chilled overnight.)

    Make the topping: In a bowl, stir together the flour mixture, the butter, the milk, and the egg until the batter is just combined. Stir in the cheddar and the chili peppers and drop the batter by large spoonfuls around the edge of the casserole. Bake the tamale pie in a preheated 400° F oven for 10 minutes, reduce the heat to 350° F and bake the pie for 30 minutes more. Serves 6.

    Personally, I never include the can of chili peppers in the cornbread mix, I like the cornbread to be milder than the beef mixture. (Honestly, if it's just for me I skip the cornbread entirely and make a batch of white rice in the rice-cooker, I only go for the full recipe when I'm making it to bring to a party.) Anyway, it's my go-to recipe, because the only fresh ingredients are the onion and green pepper, I keep my pantry/freezer/fridge stocked with everything else for whenever the mood strikes.
    posted by oh yeah! at 11:52 AM on February 12, 2017 [4 favorites]

    I'm actually making this today, it's my go-to enchilada filling that sometimes I use as a taco filling instead.

    I'm sure it is super inauthentic, but here we go:


    1lb beef chuck, cut into roughly 1.5" cubes
    3lb onion, julienned thinly
    32oz beef stock
    chipotle chiles in adobo sauce* (anywhere from 1/2 a chile to 2-3 chiles depending on your love of heat)
    a handful of shredded cheese (cheddar, "mexican" mixes, cotija, whatever you've got)
    vegetable oil


    Put a dutch oven on a burner at medium high heat, and add 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.

    Salt the beef liberally, and then sear on all sides in the dutch oven in batches (adding more oil if needed). Remove to a bowl once nicely browned.

    Add the onion to the dutch oven and stir on and off until the onion begins to sweat, then to brown -- the liquid given off should help release all the nice brown bits from when you cooked the beef (fond), and then as the liquid cooks off the onion should start building its own fond on the bottom of the pan.

    When the onion has cooked for 10 minutes or so, deglaze with a splash of liquid of your choice (e.g. some beer [now you can drink the rest of the beer!] or wine [ditto] or red wine vinegar or whatever). Add the beef back in, and add the beef stock and chiles and spices and set the heat to low.

    Now let it cook for 3-4 hours, stirring occasionally to prevent anything from burning on the bottom.

    You'll know it's done when nearly all the liquid is gone, and the beef literally falls apart at the touch of a wooden spoon. The onion will have also cooked down to a mass of brown goodness. Shred the beef with the aforementioned spoon, drop in the cheese (it will melt with the residual heat of the mixture), mix well, use as filling in enchiladas or tacos.

    * If you can't get chiles in adobo sauce, Tabasco's chipotle flavored sauce works fine as a heat/flavor additive substitute.

    ** Spices are pretty subjective, I usually go for something like 2-3 tablespoons of ground cumin, a tablespoon of fresh minced ginger, and 1-2 cloves of minced garlic.

    posted by tocts at 1:41 PM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

    I marinated some pork chops with lemon juice, garlic, thyme and olive oil and then ate them with new potatoes and sugarsnap peas. It was right.
    posted by knapah at 2:35 PM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    We are eating nachos. I am a person who individually makes each nacho because that is the only way I like them.

    For breakfast, we had fried eggs on garlic toasts. I made the toasts by rubbing each piece of bread with olive oil and sprinkling one side with garlic salt. When that side was toasted under the broiler, I added minced garlic and mozzarella cheese to the other side and toasted that.

    But my favorite way to make garlic bread is mash up some (preferably roasted) garlic with soft butter. Slice a loaf of excellent bread in half. Spread the butter over the bread. Grate some pecorino or parmesan over the top and place under the broiler. If you're fancy, top with minced parsley before serving.
    posted by crush-onastick at 2:50 PM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

    I suck at cooking. I tried to saute mushrooms for myself tonight using Mark Bittman's recipe from his cookbook. I think the "medium" on my (electric) stove is hotter than gas medium, because they shriveled into little black husks. Meanwhile, my husband made steaks for us with a homemade "just wing it" red wine sauce.

    I'm not asking for recipes, I'm just putting this here for those who have no signature recipes or cooking talent. I will try again, (and maybe again) and I someday this year, I will end up with lovely mushrooms with my steak.
    posted by kimberussell at 2:57 PM on February 12, 2017 [6 favorites]

    I made impromptu quasi-Polish-goose-for-one. Two goose clubs, browned in butter. Goose out of pot, some onion and a jar of high-end German Sauerkraut into the pot, some thyme and a dash of white wine. Goose bits on top, lid on, slow-cook until done and beyond.

    That's not a recipe, but it is good.
    posted by Namlit at 3:21 PM on February 12, 2017

    Last week I brought home a tub of pimento cheese from the grocery store, something which as a Western US person, I am unfamiliar (OK maybe they have it out here and I just missed it). It was pretty good, and as a bonus it gave me the most spectacularly foul farts I have ever had, which is really saying something. Mrs. Gamera tried some (of the cheese, not the farts) and had that experience where a sensory sensation triggers a memory from your childhood - She had eaten pimento cheese sandwitches at a party when she was a little turtlet.

    I wondered if a homemade version would be even better and maybe somewhat less deadly so
    I looked up some recipes on the interwebs. I made a batch using this recipe and today I made the Gamera household pimento cheese sandwitches with radishes and pickled jalapenos. They were delicious. And now we wait.
    posted by gamera at 3:50 PM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    My grandmother's Kapusta: I didn't get the job I really wanted, but I did get a better paying one that has some other nice perks, and cabbage seemed to strike the right comfort/celebratory food balance + my husband is on a business trip. This has more tomatoes than a traditional recipe because grandma accidentally doubled the amount of tomatoes once, but it prompted my grandfather to remark it tasted better than his mother's. Grandma doesn't excel in the kitchen, so this is a massive victory we recreate every year during the holidays.

    One head of cabbage, shredded
    2 cans of saurkraut, rinsed
    one big can of stewed tomatoes
    Shredded carrot (1 large)
    Diced celery
    5 cloves of garlic, smashed
    One onion, diced
    Salt/pepper to taste
    Smoked and Fresh Kielbasa, baked

    Saute onion/garlic until softened
    Add cabbage and cook until wilted
    Add sauerkraut, tomatoes, tomato juice, carrot, kielbasa, and celery, simmer for at least 1.5 hours
    Consume in massive quantities
    posted by ghost phoneme at 4:14 PM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    I fully enjoyed the infamous Jacques Torres chocolate chip cookies I made last week. Next time I'm going to make them double-chocolate with cocoa powder in the flour and add cayenne and then they'll pretty much be my favorite cookie from all-time. Based on what the scale says though, next time might be a ways away. When's Lent start? This New Years' resolution deal didn't work out this year.

    It was a back-to-basics eating week for me so nothing complicated or tetchy, just a good, easy stovetop beef stew recipe from the Betty.
    posted by carsonb at 4:28 PM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    You have two and half weeks to keep making and posting wonderful dessert recipes, carsonb.

    Speaking of over-indulging, anyone have recommendations for paczki in Chicago? Ideally a long walk from the Greektown area, so I can burn some of the calories off.
    posted by ghost phoneme at 4:57 PM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

    Last night we did calzones for the second time ever (first time was earlier in the week). They were an absolute homerun. Below recipe is for dairy version, but we also made two non-dairy with Trader Joe's fake mozzerella shreds and a vegan ricotta recipe we found on AllRecipes (to make the latter palatable you need to add salt and a dash of balsamic vinegar).

    Calzone (or pizza) dough:

    3:1 ratio of bread flour to water. 3 cups of flour will yield two good sized pizzas; each cup of flour is one solid calzone.

    Water should be warm but not hot, add a pinch of sugar per cup, then around a TBS of yeast per cup of water. Let sit until very foamy, then mix in to flour, along with maybe a TBS of olive oil per cup of flour, and a healthy pinch of salt. Knead the heck out of the dough for a few minutes, then let sit, covered, in a well-oiled bowl for at least an hour or two, until it's at least doubled.

    Calzone filling (makes 4 calzones):

    Saute a diced onion in olive oil until golden. Add 3-4 minced garlic gloves, saute until fragrant, then add a drained jar of roasted red peppers and a bunch of fresh or frozen spinach, along with a pinch of salt. Cook on medium-low heat until nearly all water has been cooked out, approximately 15 minutes.

    Divide your dough in to however many portions you're making, then roll it out in to rounds. Spread filling over half of round, leaving approximately half an inch on the edge to allow for sealing. Plop in a healthy dollop or two of ricotta cheese, along with shredded mozzerella, and anything else you think would be fun (fresh basil, hot soprasetta, whatever). Fold dough over, seal the edges, and bake. Last night we started at 350, and as soon as the calzones went in we raised the temp to 475, and after about 18 minutes or so they were perfect. Serve with homemade marinara and lots of wine.
    posted by saladin at 5:12 PM on February 12, 2017 [3 favorites]

    Sunday night dinner was pork tenderloin in olive oil, garlic, rosemary, and thyme, and new red ptoatoes, quartered, in same. Also green beans (frozen, microwaved) and rolls. And "scalloped apples" which is basically apple pie without the pie part, but it was very popular.
    posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 8:04 PM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    The Whelk, the correct answer to your question is tri-tip (rubbed with Mr. Stubbs seasoning, then grilled or cast-ironed) or flank steak (marinated overnight with balsamic, olive oil, red pepper flakes, fresh rosemary, salt and pepper; then 3-5 minutes per side grilled or cast-ironed), but I suspect it is too late to state this as the correct answer.
    posted by lazuli at 8:13 PM on February 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

    I've been cooking for myself a lot lately with tau_ceti out of town for 5/7 nights a week. Mostly pretty fast, blah meals. But tonight I stopped by the store and picked up some spinach and ricotta ravioli, which I topped with pesto I'd frozen way back in August (a simpler time). Delicious, and only took 12 minutes including waiting for the water to boil.
    posted by deludingmyself at 9:10 PM on February 12, 2017

    The Whelk, the correct answer to your question is tri-tip (rubbed with Mr. Stubbs seasoning, then grilled or cast-ironed) or flank steak (marinated overnight with balsamic, olive oil, red pepper flakes, fresh rosemary, salt and pepper; then 3-5 minutes per side grilled or cast-ironed), but I suspect it is too late to state this as the correct answer.

    My ankle kinda fucked up as my ankle is want to do so I can do one of these tomorrow so yay
    posted by The Whelk at 11:36 PM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

    My grandmother's Kapusta: I didn't get the job I really wanted, but I did get a better paying one that has some other nice perks, and cabbage seemed to strike the right comfort/celebratory food balance + my husband is on a business trip. … Consume in massive quantities.

    Yay kapusta! I like the idea of it as a celebratory meal, especially with the trumpet fanfare/21-gun salute that tends to follow so much cabbage.

    Personally I like kapusta when it's browned somewhat.

    But what I like better than kapusta is leftover kapusta. Generously layered on top of a hot toasted and buttered slice of rye, with a pickle on top. Or even an egg. One of my go-to hangover breakfasts.
    posted by Kabanos at 8:27 AM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

    I made homemade manicotti with a strawberry-arugula-spinach mozzarella salad for dinner yesterday, and it was amazing! It was my first time making manicotti, and I only ruined two noodles filling them with delicious cheese mixture. I also tried my hand at homemade pound cake, which got a little toastier than I'd intended, but the strawberry red wine sauce spooned over top of slices seemed to balance it out nicely.
    posted by PearlRose at 8:59 AM on February 13, 2017

    My best meal this past week was a really fancy brunch on Sunday at a really nice restaurant with my boyfriend. Just before leaving, we decided that this would count as our Valentine's celebration this year, something we don't normally do much about. After three hours (!) of eating and talking and eating some more, we decided that I should pay the bill because of our personal financial system. The waiter tried to hand the bill to my boyfriend, who indicated that I would pay - and then the waiter said (to him), "Is it your birthday? Or another special occasion?" We just shrugged it off, paid, and left but talked about how we felt it had been an inappropriate comment. Today I found out that my boyfriend sent the restaurant a comment saying that we had found the comment inappropriate and sexist - and the restaurant had replied that even if the waiter had meant to make a joke, it was indeed inappropriate and they would work to make sure it didn't happen again. I'm really proud of my boyfriend to step up and say something, and happy that the restaurant recognised the situation!
    posted by rawrberry at 10:28 AM on February 13, 2017 [12 favorites]

    This Ottolenghi cauliflower salad is the best salad, and I don't even like raw celery. Do not omit or alter anything--when I first made it I was really quite dubious about cinnamon in salad--but it works beautifully here.
    posted by peripathetic at 1:53 PM on February 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

    For the MeFi Instant Pot brigade, I've been making Korean beef and radish soup (mu guk) in mine, and it is delightfully tasty for a simple little soup made of so few ingredients. My take uses is as follows:

    3/4 lb of beef (chuck is ideal) sliced into thin slivers
    3/4 lb of Asian radish, daikon or similar, sliced thin
    4 or so green onions, sliced,
    2 teaspoons minced garlic
    1 tablespoon fish sauce
    1 tablespoon soy sauce (use Korean soy sauce for soup if you have it; Korean cooks will tell you that regular soy sauce is too dark and sweet but what do I know?)
    1 tablespoon sesame oil
    6 cups water
    In the Instant Pot, Saute the sliced beef, garlic and onions the sesame oil until brown. Then add the water, close/seal lid, and set to steam on high pressure for 7 minutes. Quick release is fine.

    Serve with a bowl of white rice for a quick simple winter meal, if you live someplace where winter is still A Thing.
    posted by drlith at 3:10 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

    I'm juggling three jobs so cooking is challenging but tonight I cut up some pre-cooked chicken thigh I'd prepared the other day and put it in a salad which was created with things that are starting to 'go'.

    You're welcome to use this recipe any way you'd like and substitution is the key ingredient.
    posted by mightshould at 3:30 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

    I did an experiment on Saturday night: "pulled pork" jackfruit bulgogi, served with kimchi. I liked it but my girlfriend said it tasted like pineapple on a burger (and she forewent the kimchi). In retrospect I would have liked to squeeze more water out of the (canned) jackfruit pieces and maybe marinaded them overnight instead of doing it all in the pan in one go but honestly, I thought it was pretty decent and will be better after I experiment some more.

    I guess my recipe is: try jackfruit or whatever.
    posted by turbid dahlia at 6:30 PM on February 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

    So I just made this in an effort to use up some leftover salt cod that had been in the fridge for a while.

    Not bad. Not going to enter heavy rotation, but it wasn't bad.
    posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:46 PM on February 13, 2017

    We were messing around with cauliflower rice this weekend, with results that were totally edible but not yet inspiring. If anybody has hints and tips for low-carb vegetarian stuff to do to cauliflower rice, I'm all ears.
    posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 6:55 PM on February 13, 2017

    Man, I love cauliflower in pretty much every form except raw...and cauli rice. There's something about the process that makes it the most stinky. That said, coconut milk - make coconut cauliflower rice. I like the lime version ("you put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both up/I said DOCTOR!", sorry) but there are many many options out there.

    I am trying to get good at making sushi rolls, so that was dinner tonight. Krab, sriracha mayo, avocado, and cucumber.
    posted by Lyn Never at 8:23 PM on February 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

    Low carb frans, I come bearing

    My Favorite *Light* Keto Meal:

    It's simple and takes like no effort, but I'm going to describe all the steps in great detail because it's fun & I want to.

    Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Slice off the top bit of a bulb of garlic, peel off most of the outer papery bits, hold it upright and drizzle olive oil into the exposed cloves, rubbing it in a little. Place it on a square of aluminum foil and wrap it up, keeping it upright. Place it directly on an oven rack and bake for 45-50 minutes.

    Take 2 TBSP of dijon mustard and 2 TBSP of mayo and mix them together with a fork. Add in chopped up fresh dill to taste. Add a tiny splash of white vinegar if you like. Mix it all up and put it in the fridge to get flavors.

    Stem your broccoli and chop it to bite sized pieces until you have a cup or two. Place it on a large cookie sheet. Chop lots (10-15? More?) of asparagus, leaving only the good parts. Place them on the cookie sheet. Chop the bottom bits off a cup or three of Brussels sprouts and place them on the cookie sheet. This part's important so you get the best, crispriest bits: make sure all of the veggies are in one layer and not too crowded.

    Drizzle some glugs of olive oil on the veggies, not too much though. Maybe a TBSP or two. Sprinkle a small dash of kosher salt on the veggies and toss them so theyre all coated in salty oily goodness. Then flip the Brussels sprouts so they have their flat side down (same with the broccoli if there's a flat side). This is also for perfect crispness reasons.

    Get another baking sheet and line it with parchment paper. Place two salmon filets ( or maybe one big one?) on the sheet, skin side down. Sprinkle a little bit of kosher salt on top, grind some pepper on top, and gently rub it in.

    Pet a kitty or watch Poirot until your garlic is done roasting.

    Take your garlic satchel out and turn the oven up to 450. PS your house smells amazing now because you roasted garlic in it. Take the foil wrapper off so your garlic can cool down.

    Once the oven is heated place both your salmon and your veggies in the oven and set a timer for 8 minutes and one for 12 minutes.

    While it's cooking, get a couple of Roma tomatoes and slice them into 1/4" circles, then slice those in half. Arrange them artfully on a nice plate. Get some fresh mozzarella and tear it up, making sure there's a nice piece for each tomato slice, and arrange it artfully on top of the tomatoes.

    By now your garlic should be cool enough to handle. Pop each clove out of its shell by squeezing the bottom gently. It will be weirdly satisfying. Arrange lots of garlic cloves on the tomato/mozzarella, then drizzle olive oil over the whole thing. Sprinkle dried basil over it. It probably looks fucking amazing.

    When your 8 minute timer goes off, take the salmon out and spread some of the dill dijon sauce all over the top, making sure you only use about 3/4. Put it back in until the 12 min timer goes off.

    Take everything out and plate it. Spread the remaining sauce on the salmon. Enjoy! So light, so flavorful, so crispy...
    posted by moons in june at 9:24 PM on February 13, 2017 [7 favorites]

    3-4 tablespoons berere powder

    I don't know what authentic berbere is like, but Penzey's is hot enough that 1/2 Tbsp in a ~3-serving pot of lentils was enough to make me lose the ability to taste bitterness for an hour or two (and I have a very high spice tolerance). 3-4 Tbsp in anything less than a swimming pool of stew would probably kill me.

    low-carb vegetarian stuff to do to cauliflower rice

    My wife made a cauliflower soup this weekend. It included bacon, but of course you could do without (although I would maybe add a drop of liquid smoke). Onion, garlic, celery, diced and sweated. Riced cauliflower, 2 cups of broth (veggie would work fine). Some flour and milk to bind it (honestly, the flour was probably unnecessary, given the thickness of the soup, and you could use cream or half-and-half instead of milk). Half a pound of shredded cheese, melted. A few dashes of hot sauce.

    You could use regular cauliflower too, of course, but what's nice about the riced stuff is that you won't need to puree the soup to make it smooth-ish.
    posted by uncleozzy at 6:31 AM on February 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

    Hope I'm not coming in too late to this to get help: I got a (single) turnip this week in my produce delivery and I don't think I've ever cooked one in my life. How should I use it? If I roast it alone, will it be too boring? Can I incorporate it into a grain salad or something - how would that work?

    Complication: I know it's a great thing to put in a soup/stew but I don't love soups for some reason (sorry, I know, I know).
    posted by R a c h e l at 6:37 AM on February 14, 2017

    I lied, it's a parsnip, not a turnip. Shows how much I know about those particular vegetables, hah.
    posted by R a c h e l at 8:31 AM on February 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

    Ha. Peel/trim similar to a carrot, and treat similarly.

    I like a little oil + salt, roast in oven on high-ish heat (425F I think?) on a foil-covered sheet pan (turning occasionally) till nicely cooked (carrots or parsnips, or both -- though the latter usually take longer to cook, and big ones can do with being split in half).
    posted by tocts at 8:39 AM on February 14, 2017

    MetaTalk: I lied, it's a parsnip, not a turnip.
    posted by Etrigan at 8:41 AM on February 14, 2017 [2 favorites]

    Parsnips are delicious - like sweet carrots. toct's advice is solid. (For reference, imo turnips taste more like brussels sprouts when cooked.)
    posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 9:05 AM on February 14, 2017

    Thanks, all! Now that I've identified the correct name for the vegetable, I'm realizing that I have a wealth of tasty-looking options after all that should work just fine at my tiny little scale. I'm looking forward to roasting it tonight!

    This produce delivery is fantastic but also embarrassing because it delivers all kinds of common veggies that I should (but often don't) know how to actually cook and so every week I find myself googling things like "what parts of an eggplant do I cut off" or "can I eat kale stems" or "what is a turnip". I guess I'm glad I'm learning now!
    posted by R a c h e l at 9:32 AM on February 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

    I made chili last week, and yesterday my babysitter finally asked me "What have these kids been eating? They've been farting SO MUCH lately."
    posted by Liesl at 10:23 AM on February 14, 2017 [4 favorites]

    I bought a slow cooker on Sunday so I've been googling vegetarian slow cooker recipes for curries and stews and all kinds of exciting things, and I'll be stalking all the relevant AskMes, but for its inaugural meal it's currently making us a simple but tasty veggie chilli. I'm off work today so it's kind of pointless and I keep going in and staring at it, but it's smelling amazing so I'm very excited so far. I'm Irish so it's possible my chilli recipe would make people in this thread weep with its inauthenticity so I'll not post it, but I assure you it's delicious, even though it guarantees the duvet being wafted aloft all night.
    posted by billiebee at 10:43 AM on February 14, 2017

    I like cooking Hungarian dishes even tho I can't spell them, and since I found the Indian grocer's one town over in Fall River, I also like cooking Indian dishes even tho I can't pronounce them (the anglicized spelling looks easy, sure...) Not truly authentic, as they don't sell curry leaves, I prefer butter or butter/canola oil to ghee, and whole spices are a bridge too far (apart from cumin, as it winds up soft enough after a nice bath in hot fat).

    So far, I've done a Chana Aloo curry, sweet potato and chickpeas (and I added in chicken browned in hot oil with whole cumin, why not?) with a Southeast Asian twist where I use coconut milk instead of water. I've also done my wife's favorite, Chicken Tikka Masala. I made it the lazy way by slathering boneless thighs with a home-rolled tikka masala spice mix, and browning in butter in a hot skillet rather than marinading in yogurt/spice mix and slapping them on a hot BBQ grill since nobody gots a tandoori for sale on Craigslist.

    There's an Epicurious one-pot recipe I cribbed it from, immediately broke the rules by using a pan and a pot, and the secret to getting it to taste like the real restaurant deal is to use half again the spices (or double for leftovers! Great for flavoring chicken stock oven cooked rice or scrambled eggs or mayo) and twice the yogurt, and believe them when they say not to use Greek yogurt. There's no sugar in the recipe, all of the sweetness is from the tomatoes and the yogurt and the tikka masala working together.

    Also, it's Tikka not Tikki. Subtle, but important.

    I'm going back there, as I need amchur powder and black cardamon (which is expensive compared to the $1.75 bag of garam masala and the $3.00 giant tube of Harissa, as they also had a selection of Arab ingredients - no za'atar sadly. Doesn't matter, made shakshuka.)
    posted by Slap*Happy at 6:41 PM on February 14, 2017 [4 favorites]

    Oh! Yeah! Perfect chicken Paprikash -

    Dice one big onion and one big, green de-seeded bell pepper. Then de-seed another and slice into rings another green bell pepper, just as big as you can get it from your grocer. Have four cloves of garlic at the ready, and a garlic press. Or mince four cloves of garlic until you get tired and need to take a nap. A generous dollop of oil in the bottom of the pot, and a sprinkle of salt, and sauté the onion for ten minutes, add in the diced bell pepper for five minutes more, then the pressed garlic for two minutes more...


    Boom. Give it two minutes, sauté as hard as you can with that wooden spoon.

    Have at the ready:

    1.5+ lbs boneless chicken thighs. Don't trim the fat or brown them. Just salt and pepper generously and have them at the ready.

    One 28oz tin of crushed tomatoes, no salt or basil.

    A half-can of tomato paste, or a good squeeze from the tube of same.

    A half of a Tetrapack of chicken stock.

    A tablespoon of corn starch.

    All of a small container or most of a medium container of lite or fat-free sour cream. (Full-fat sour cream actually spoils this, the sauce will never come together)

    A big-ass enameled pot. You should have started with this.

    A stick mixer AKA Immersion Blender.

    1) Deglaze the mess you made with hot oil and onion and salt and diced bell pepper and garlic and paprikas plural with the chicken stock and a furious wooden spoon in the big enameled pot.

    2) lay down the green bell pepper rings atop that business.

    3) Toss the protein atop.

    4) Bury with 28 oz of canned whole crushed tomato goodness, no basil, please.

    5) Bring to a boil, and then back down to a simmer for 45.

    6) Remove the protein, and put each now miraculously fat-free thigh on a plate. Retrieve one pepper ring per each, and drape overtop. PRESENTATION!

    7) Ladle a bit of hot broth into a bowl, whisk in the tablespoon full of cornstarch, return that to the big-ass pot.

    8) Go at it with the stick mixer until you think all the lumps are not worth mentioning.

    9) Add lite sour-cream, and hit it with the stick until the lumps really aren't worth mentioning. Ladle generously over the chicken and pepper ring, and serve with very crusty bread to sop up the sauce. Get ready to send home the sauce with the guests by request.

    Yes, I know, it's not made in a giant copper cauldron over a campfire where the only liquid comes from the onion and peppers, and not even bell peppers, and you tilt the cauldron to and fro rather than stirring, but man, it tastes amazing even if it's not as authentic as all that.
    posted by Slap*Happy at 7:52 PM on February 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

    Ugh. The tomato paste goes in with the paprika. Sorry.
    posted by Slap*Happy at 9:08 PM on February 14, 2017

    the real problem is putting in FOREIGN GREEN PEPPERS and not a ratio of 1:1:2 Hot, Smoked, Sweet Paprika but otherwise it's fine
    posted by The Whelk at 10:05 PM on February 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

    A big-ass enameled pot. You should have started with this.

    Now you tell me. BRB mopping kitchen floor.
    posted by Splunge at 1:30 PM on February 15, 2017 [2 favorites]

    Secret Hint - you can find them at TJ Maxx or Marshalls or The Christmas Tree Shop (New England and parts of Jersy, whassup?) for around 30 bucks.

    Big-ass cast-iron pot, enameled. Le Crueset? A zillion bucks. The Chrimmastee Shawp? Lessen thiddy bucks, from the same factory, labeled "Kitchen-Aid" or "Cuisinart."

    I know, you wants you some class, so the TJ Maxx has the exact same pawt fah fouwddy bucks, and it has the prestige brand names of "Food Network" and "Calaphon."

    I have a Kitchen-Aid cast iron enameled skillet, I paid $28.95 for it, including tax, and it is amazeballs. I paid a bit less for my very big and less big Cuisinart enameled cast-iron pots.

    Same pots from the French brand? $300+. This is why we need UBI. At some point, marketing can't keep the factory afloat.
    posted by Slap*Happy at 7:00 PM on February 15, 2017

    IKEA also has very nice cast iron kitchen wear at IKEA style prices

    (I think their furniture is meh but the kitchen wear? The side things? Divine! So functional! So cheap! )
    posted by The Whelk at 11:55 PM on February 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

    (I have worked with the Le Cresuet stuff and , yeah it's thinner and feels better in the hand and has some better colors but it's never like - this is worth 300 dollars more than something from lodge or kitchen-aide or IKEA. Cast iron is pretty much cast iron anywhere, don't break your back over it)
    posted by The Whelk at 12:01 AM on February 16, 2017 [2 favorites]

    I didn't get their cast iron, but the stainless steel pots I got from Ikea started rusting near the handles almost right away. I did buy literally the cheapest option though: we'd just moved and needed to completely rebuild our kitchen ASAP and our plan is to slowly replace with decent kitchenware over the next year. The silverware we got is holding up nicely.

    I do love my lodge enameled cast iron.
    posted by ghost phoneme at 6:30 AM on February 16, 2017

    If you must have Le Cresuet, eBay is your friend. I have a friend with many, many pieces, all from eBay. All you need is a little patience and you will find and win excellent pieces for good prices.
    posted by Room 641-A at 9:47 AM on February 16, 2017

    The Kirkland (Costco) enameled cast iron is perfectly good stuff. You generally only get the choice of the one color, and that color has been red for as far back as I can remember, but it's comparable in weight and durability to my one piece of Le Creuset. Costco doesn't divulge the makers of their Kirkland products, but it looks and feel a whole lot like the Kitchenaid versions.
    posted by Lyn Never at 10:38 AM on February 16, 2017

    (I have worked with the Le Cresuet stuff and , yeah it's thinner and feels better in the hand and has some better colors but it's never like - this is worth 300 dollars more than something from lodge or kitchen-aide or IKEA. Cast iron is pretty much cast iron anywhere, don't break your back over it)

    The 6 quart enameled cast iron pot I bought at Kmart or Walmart (based on a review that was linked here a few years ago) is not just thicker and clunkier than the Le Creuset pots that we also have, but the enamel is holding up much more poorly even though it is used less often. I don't have any of the Ikea or Costco pots, so those might be great, but as soon as the enamel fails on the one cheap pot we have, I will be buying a Le Creuset to replace it -- higher cost for a longer life is money well spent.
    posted by Dip Flash at 7:28 PM on February 16, 2017

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