"Things People Do Differently" -- I can't find it! January 15, 2018 8:07 PM Subscribe
Somewhere on Metafilter, there was a massive compilation of all the "I do X and my friend does Y, which one of us is correct?" posts, like about which way toilet paper rolls go, and sock-sock-shoe-shoe or sock-shoe-sock-shoe, or wiping while standing vs sitting. My search skills are failing me. Where on earth was this?
One of my favorite things on that wiki.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:44 AM on January 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:44 AM on January 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
Jesus, that wiki page: it's like humanity broken down into a fractal world of sub-species and sub-sub-species...
posted by wenestvedt at 9:50 AM on January 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by wenestvedt at 9:50 AM on January 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
These threads have been some of the most interesting and educational on Metafilter. We talk about breaking out of political bubbles but personal cultural bubbles are just as real. Before Metafilter, I had no idea some people folded their TP, don't wash their legs, don't use a top sheet, and don't tuck their sheets in. Weirdos.
Buzzfeed has a lot of polls along these lines. For example, How normal are your hygiene habits?, How Many Of These 30 Things Did You Think Only You Do?, How Do Your Sex Habits Compare to Everyone Else?
posted by AFABulous at 12:08 PM on January 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
Buzzfeed has a lot of polls along these lines. For example, How normal are your hygiene habits?, How Many Of These 30 Things Did You Think Only You Do?, How Do Your Sex Habits Compare to Everyone Else?
posted by AFABulous at 12:08 PM on January 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
Also from buzzfeed, today I had the misfortune of learning about shit knives.
posted by Grither at 12:50 PM on January 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Grither at 12:50 PM on January 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
Also from buzzfeed, today I had the misfortune of learning about shit knives
I mean, it could have stopped with you. but no, you had to share it on Mefi lol.
/me goes off now to learn all about shit knives despite her gut instincts telling her to abort the mission
posted by Annika Cicada at 12:57 PM on January 16, 2018 [13 favorites]
I mean, it could have stopped with you. but no, you had to share it on Mefi lol.
/me goes off now to learn all about shit knives despite her gut instincts telling her to abort the mission
posted by Annika Cicada at 12:57 PM on January 16, 2018 [13 favorites]
I learned about it on imgur. Imgur is a site all about sharing images. Think about that.
posted by Fizz at 3:17 PM on January 16, 2018
posted by Fizz at 3:17 PM on January 16, 2018
Before Metafilter, I had no idea some people folded their TP, don't wash their legs, don't use a top sheet, and don't tuck their sheets in. Weirdos.We come from opposite corners of the mefi habit space. I'm guessing you stand while wiping as well? And you probably face the shower head.
One of my pet peeves has always been the amount of time hotel staff spend tucking in sheets, when it's clear that everyone will just untuck them the moment they get into bed. Now, I'm forced to reconsider that opinion.
Also, shitknives rock.
Is there a name for finding the phrase "afterpants" offensive while having no objection to the act of not wearing pants in almost any circumstance?
posted by eotvos at 3:18 PM on January 16, 2018
I think the problem with "afterpants" is it's a specific word that describes something that shouldn't need a specific description. It's like... having a specific word for the anticipation one feels when the work day is almost over. Sure, you can make one up, but why?
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:06 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:06 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
Hmm, all sorts of intimate stuff, but don't we need to know exactly how people enter their beds?
I mean, watching videos and all, people do this la-de-da fake pose by sitting your bum down and gentility swinging your legs in whilst holding up the covers.
Seriously, I get on in by heading forward on my hands and knees and crawling as close to the middle of the bed as get.
I understand that 'some' people belly-flop, and others do a modified back flip over the imaginary high bar.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:13 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I mean, watching videos and all, people do this la-de-da fake pose by sitting your bum down and gentility swinging your legs in whilst holding up the covers.
Seriously, I get on in by heading forward on my hands and knees and crawling as close to the middle of the bed as get.
I understand that 'some' people belly-flop, and others do a modified back flip over the imaginary high bar.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:13 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I do the crawling on my hands and knees thing, but I think it's because I'm short and my bed is high. I couldn't sit and swing my legs if I wanted to.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:17 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:17 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm guessing you stand while wiping as well? And you probably face the shower head.
I plead the fifth.
don't we need to know exactly how people enter their beds?
Tip of the day: if you're going to have planned surgery on your torso, build up your core muscles so you don't have to use your arms when getting into or out of bed.
posted by AFABulous at 6:18 PM on January 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
I plead the fifth.
don't we need to know exactly how people enter their beds?
Tip of the day: if you're going to have planned surgery on your torso, build up your core muscles so you don't have to use your arms when getting into or out of bed.
posted by AFABulous at 6:18 PM on January 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
I learned about it on imgur. Imgur is a site all about sharing images. Think about that.
Oh dear. It would appear that "poop knife" is a self-sustaining meme ecosystem on imgur. Huh. Who says life isn't a wondrous voyage of discovery?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:34 PM on January 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
Oh dear. It would appear that "poop knife" is a self-sustaining meme ecosystem on imgur. Huh. Who says life isn't a wondrous voyage of discovery?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:34 PM on January 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
I crawl into bed from the bottom, not the side, and then wrap myself around a pillow because I can't sleep on my back.
Okay, I also have a 5' tall teddy bear in my bed and it's possible that I wrap myself around him, too.
posted by hippybear at 8:02 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
Okay, I also have a 5' tall teddy bear in my bed and it's possible that I wrap myself around him, too.
posted by hippybear at 8:02 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I totally sit on my bed, hold the covers up, and swing my legs in. I made the bedframe, though, so there was no reason to not make it exactly the right height.
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:09 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:09 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
Ooh cool, a new one! I sleep on a kakebuton on the floor. I lay down on it by getting on my hands and knees near the head end, tucking my chin and rolling over my shoulder to end up on the mattress with my legs folded. Then I uncurl under the covers.
...
It seems really weird now that I type it out. But then, the whole point is that we're all secretly weird in private, right?
posted by traveler_ at 8:11 PM on January 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
...
It seems really weird now that I type it out. But then, the whole point is that we're all secretly weird in private, right?
posted by traveler_ at 8:11 PM on January 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
the whole point is that we're all secretly weird in private, right?
My sister and I are both different sorts of nerds. Every time we get together one of our conversational bits is a thing I like to call "How do you LIVE?" which is about our various things we need or don't need in order to sleep. Like, I sleep in full-in jammas and a hat. She can't wear more than a t-shirt and boxers. She sleeps with the door open. I can't fall asleep if the door is open. Same with windows. She got me some of those little light dims for holiday time and it's one of the more considerate and useful presents I've gotten. I sleep til 9 or 10, she's up at 6, Etc. etc. My favorite thing about these conversations is that there's no part of it where there's any "appeal to authority" about who is sleeping right/wrong. We're just both people with preferences and the freedom to enact them. I'm not trying to bunk with her and vice verse so who cares?
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:27 PM on January 16, 2018 [16 favorites]
My sister and I are both different sorts of nerds. Every time we get together one of our conversational bits is a thing I like to call "How do you LIVE?" which is about our various things we need or don't need in order to sleep. Like, I sleep in full-in jammas and a hat. She can't wear more than a t-shirt and boxers. She sleeps with the door open. I can't fall asleep if the door is open. Same with windows. She got me some of those little light dims for holiday time and it's one of the more considerate and useful presents I've gotten. I sleep til 9 or 10, she's up at 6, Etc. etc. My favorite thing about these conversations is that there's no part of it where there's any "appeal to authority" about who is sleeping right/wrong. We're just both people with preferences and the freedom to enact them. I'm not trying to bunk with her and vice verse so who cares?
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:27 PM on January 16, 2018 [16 favorites]
I don't think I've ever consciously thought about how I get into bed (with the exception of one situation). I had to get into bed just now, just to see how I do it. It turns out I flip back the covers halfway, sit down roughly mid-bed (midway between the head and the foot of the bed, that is), stick my legs under the covers, and then pull the covers over myself as I lie down on my back.
The one exception to this is when I'm trapped under the sheets by my girlfriend on one side, and my cat on the other. I can't swing my legs out to the side, and I'm upset by the thought of putting my butt on my pillow. So I do this semi-acrobatic move to hoist myself up, gently slide my legs straight out from under the sheets without disturbing anyone, and then exit down the center of the bed. I feel like this needs illustrations to make sense.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 9:24 PM on January 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
The one exception to this is when I'm trapped under the sheets by my girlfriend on one side, and my cat on the other. I can't swing my legs out to the side, and I'm upset by the thought of putting my butt on my pillow. So I do this semi-acrobatic move to hoist myself up, gently slide my legs straight out from under the sheets without disturbing anyone, and then exit down the center of the bed. I feel like this needs illustrations to make sense.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 9:24 PM on January 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
I just went into my bedroom to see how I get into bed bc I never thought about it before. The foot of my bed is near the door, so I kind of enter from the bottom and crawl to the right spot. I usually lie on top of the covers until my wife scolds me into getting under them, which I do with a combination of rolling all the way to the edge of the bed and yanking the blanket out from under myself. Hardly elegant.
Incidentally, jessamyn's comment made me think about what a fantastic invention the clapper was. Why did it have to be ridiculed? Can I still buy them? I would love to turn off the lights without getting out of bed.
posted by Literaryhero at 12:29 AM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
Incidentally, jessamyn's comment made me think about what a fantastic invention the clapper was. Why did it have to be ridiculed? Can I still buy them? I would love to turn off the lights without getting out of bed.
posted by Literaryhero at 12:29 AM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
So a quick Google tells me that Amazon sells the clapper, and people who buy it also buy this(a motion activated toilet shaped nightlight).
Anyway apparently you need to clap hard for the clapper to work and that just seems like a lot of effort, you know. Maybe I will put the bedroom lights on a timer and just have them automatically shut off at a certain time every night.
posted by Literaryhero at 12:43 AM on January 17, 2018
Anyway apparently you need to clap hard for the clapper to work and that just seems like a lot of effort, you know. Maybe I will put the bedroom lights on a timer and just have them automatically shut off at a certain time every night.
posted by Literaryhero at 12:43 AM on January 17, 2018
Isn't things like Amazon Echo or whatever hardware able to do lights on voice command? I am tempted just to be able to say, " Lucifer! Light!"
posted by jadepearl at 2:16 AM on January 17, 2018
posted by jadepearl at 2:16 AM on January 17, 2018
I didn't see a thread for those of us who don't put on our pants one leg at a time.
I actually sit down on a chair or edge of a bed, put both my legs in and then hop up into my pants. This will probably get more difficult as I get older.
posted by vacapinta at 2:19 AM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
I actually sit down on a chair or edge of a bed, put both my legs in and then hop up into my pants. This will probably get more difficult as I get older.
posted by vacapinta at 2:19 AM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
Those threads always make me feel self-conscious. Once y'all bring up a behaviour being aware of it becomes burned into my brain.
Like, do I face the showerhead during the shower? Never thought about it before. Why would i? Turns out, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I turn around a lot in the shower. And now every time I'm taking one, I'm gonna be aware of my position relative to the shower head and wonder if what I'm doing is weird.
posted by zarq at 4:56 AM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
Like, do I face the showerhead during the shower? Never thought about it before. Why would i? Turns out, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I turn around a lot in the shower. And now every time I'm taking one, I'm gonna be aware of my position relative to the shower head and wonder if what I'm doing is weird.
posted by zarq at 4:56 AM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
How I get into bed depends on where the cats have placed themselves; I have to insert myself carefully among them because God Forbid the Princesses should be disturbed.
posted by JanetLand at 5:10 AM on January 17, 2018 [18 favorites]
posted by JanetLand at 5:10 AM on January 17, 2018 [18 favorites]
I have no idea how I get into bed, but as soon as I do, my dog jumps up from the right, stumbles all over my legs, and shoves himself up against my left calf as hard as he can to sleep.
posted by moonmilk at 5:18 AM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by moonmilk at 5:18 AM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
> shitknives rock
Worst Holiday Destination 2018
My grandad had a story about one of his buddies that I can't tell as well, but the gist was this guy was really proud of his perfect pomade, always carried his favourite comb around and was constantly preening with it. One day he shows up, and he doesn't have it anymore. At first he refuses to explain why, but finally relents: apparently he'd been on a hot date, nature had called, and he'd laid down the ultimate bog clogger. Edge to edge piece of rebar, nothing would get it down, and you can only flush so many times before it gets suspicious. He's beginning to panic, he's not about to reach in and throw it out the window. When suddenly, he remembers the comb.
Turns out the teeth work a lot like a serrated saw.
posted by lucidium at 6:41 AM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
Worst Holiday Destination 2018
My grandad had a story about one of his buddies that I can't tell as well, but the gist was this guy was really proud of his perfect pomade, always carried his favourite comb around and was constantly preening with it. One day he shows up, and he doesn't have it anymore. At first he refuses to explain why, but finally relents: apparently he'd been on a hot date, nature had called, and he'd laid down the ultimate bog clogger. Edge to edge piece of rebar, nothing would get it down, and you can only flush so many times before it gets suspicious. He's beginning to panic, he's not about to reach in and throw it out the window. When suddenly, he remembers the comb.
Turns out the teeth work a lot like a serrated saw.
posted by lucidium at 6:41 AM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
Incidentally, jessamyn's comment made me think about what a fantastic invention the clapper was. Why did it have to be ridiculed? Can I still buy them? I would love to turn off the lights without getting out of bed.
They still make the Clapper! You can get them on Amazon. Strongly recommended for Christmas lights. A randomly barking dog makes it even more festive.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 10:13 AM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
They still make the Clapper! You can get them on Amazon. Strongly recommended for Christmas lights. A randomly barking dog makes it even more festive.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 10:13 AM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
I am tempted just to be able to say, "Lucifer! Light!"
ITYM "Aziz! Light!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:20 AM on January 17, 2018 [12 favorites]
ITYM "Aziz! Light!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:20 AM on January 17, 2018 [12 favorites]
It is a knife used only* for the purpose of rendering fecal matter into flushable chunks.
*-hopefully!
posted by Grither at 11:29 AM on January 17, 2018
*-hopefully!
posted by Grither at 11:29 AM on January 17, 2018
I didn't see a thread for those of us who don't put on our pants one leg at a time.
I actually sit down on a chair or edge of a bed, put both my legs in and then hop up into my pants. This will probably get more difficult as I get older.
Video while you still can, please.
posted by JanetLand at 1:16 PM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
I actually sit down on a chair or edge of a bed, put both my legs in and then hop up into my pants. This will probably get more difficult as I get older.
Video while you still can, please.
posted by JanetLand at 1:16 PM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
Like, I sleep in full-in jammas and a hat.
I am glad I have met Jessamyn, because until four minutes ago I figured I had never met anyone who sleeps in a hat.
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, / That has such people in 't!
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:06 PM on January 17, 2018 [8 favorites]
I am glad I have met Jessamyn, because until four minutes ago I figured I had never met anyone who sleeps in a hat.
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, / That has such people in 't!
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:06 PM on January 17, 2018 [8 favorites]
It's just me and the Night Before Christmas guy!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 5:33 PM on January 17, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 5:33 PM on January 17, 2018 [7 favorites]
The correct answers for the first 8, for those playing along.
Sitting
Never
Over
Yes
Okay
Both
Yes
No
You are welcome.
posted by Splunge at 8:10 PM on January 17, 2018
Sitting
Never
Over
Yes
Okay
Both
Yes
No
You are welcome.
posted by Splunge at 8:10 PM on January 17, 2018
THANK YOU! And oddly enough, my search for this was in reference to the Reddit "shit knife" thing.
posted by erst at 10:19 PM on January 17, 2018
posted by erst at 10:19 PM on January 17, 2018
It's just me and the Night Before Christmas guy!
"But Ma in her kerchief, and I in my cap"; so either you think a cap is a hat but a kerchief isn't, or you are also in the poem.
I have sometimes slept in a balaclava, but I'd rather not need to.
posted by clew at 11:22 PM on January 17, 2018
"But Ma in her kerchief, and I in my cap"; so either you think a cap is a hat but a kerchief isn't, or you are also in the poem.
I have sometimes slept in a balaclava, but I'd rather not need to.
posted by clew at 11:22 PM on January 17, 2018
I prefer sleeping in a bed, myself.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:28 PM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:28 PM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
Viable shitknife alternatives: bamboo kebab skewers, a small pair of shears.
posted by terretu at 12:15 AM on January 18, 2018
posted by terretu at 12:15 AM on January 18, 2018
Incidentally, jessamyn's comment made me think about what a fantastic invention the clapper was. Why did it have to be ridiculed?
mildly serious aside: all the late night commercials for products shown as a solution for apparently comically moronic incompetent idiots who can't peform simple tasks like cracking eggs or putting chips in a bowl are actually products specifically designed to make disabled people's lives easier. bafflingly, the manufacturers have decided that instead of showing how regular average disabled people's lives could be made easier by using these products, they should advertise them as products for fully abled but incompetent fucking idiots. those godawful commercials are really grossly ableist and likely alienate the very people for whom the products are ideal.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:42 AM on January 18, 2018 [26 favorites]
mildly serious aside: all the late night commercials for products shown as a solution for apparently comically moronic incompetent idiots who can't peform simple tasks like cracking eggs or putting chips in a bowl are actually products specifically designed to make disabled people's lives easier. bafflingly, the manufacturers have decided that instead of showing how regular average disabled people's lives could be made easier by using these products, they should advertise them as products for fully abled but incompetent fucking idiots. those godawful commercials are really grossly ableist and likely alienate the very people for whom the products are ideal.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:42 AM on January 18, 2018 [26 favorites]
However, a sleeping cap to protect one's hairstyle is totally a thing for women with, fancy or delicate hairstyles that might be crushed. I have one dating back to curlier hair times, but I've never dared to put it on since it looks like Lucy's cap in the candy factory, and I think my husband would die laughing.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:00 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:00 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
actually products specifically designed to make disabled people's lives easier.
I'm approaching 60 years old, grew up with those commercials, and never knew that!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:07 AM on January 18, 2018
I'm approaching 60 years old, grew up with those commercials, and never knew that!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:07 AM on January 18, 2018
I feel like there needs to be a mash-up between the shoes inside vs. not and the sock-sock-shoe-shoe vs. sock-shoe-sock-shoe posts. Presumably only shoes inside people would do sock-shoe-sock-shoe, but maybe there are sock-shoe-sock-shoe people who wait to put their socks on when they're ready to leave the house.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 11:06 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 11:06 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
sock-sock-shoe-shoe vs. sock-shoe-sock-shoe
Mathematically, you cannot pick out a single sock from a set of socks without invoking the axiom of choice (compare shoes, where one can just take the left, or the right).
Ergo, by putting on one sock, you leave yourself open to the Banarch-Tarski paradox, and you are therefore at risk of decomposing into two identical copies of yourself. But this would double the number of socks and shoes required, and if repeated continually would require an infinite amount of hosiery and footwear. Ergo it is logically impossible to proceed: "one sock, ... (etc)"
We turn therefore to a quantum mechanical analysis, which suggests that due to uncertainty principles, both socks must be inhabited at the same time, in a wave of feet.
The foot-sock binding then releases energy from the lost momentum of said feet and the lower-energy state of the foot-sock molecule (compared with unbound feet and socks). This is why it take so much energy to "knock your socks off", whereas kicking off your sunday shoes is much simpler (and indeed, can be accomplished by any common or garden-variety Kevin Bacon, desiring footlooseness).
So - turning to shoes (or their higher mass-energy version, boots): putting on shoes can be done individually without invoking the axiom of choice, but requires a net energy input - which is why we then find it so hard to leave the house.
Therefore the only procedure consistent with our current understanding of physics is: two socks, collapse of the feet waveform, energy release, energy+shoe, energy+shoe, equilibrium ... and a nice lie down.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:33 PM on January 18, 2018 [9 favorites]
Mathematically, you cannot pick out a single sock from a set of socks without invoking the axiom of choice (compare shoes, where one can just take the left, or the right).
Ergo, by putting on one sock, you leave yourself open to the Banarch-Tarski paradox, and you are therefore at risk of decomposing into two identical copies of yourself. But this would double the number of socks and shoes required, and if repeated continually would require an infinite amount of hosiery and footwear. Ergo it is logically impossible to proceed: "one sock, ... (etc)"
We turn therefore to a quantum mechanical analysis, which suggests that due to uncertainty principles, both socks must be inhabited at the same time, in a wave of feet.
The foot-sock binding then releases energy from the lost momentum of said feet and the lower-energy state of the foot-sock molecule (compared with unbound feet and socks). This is why it take so much energy to "knock your socks off", whereas kicking off your sunday shoes is much simpler (and indeed, can be accomplished by any common or garden-variety Kevin Bacon, desiring footlooseness).
So - turning to shoes (or their higher mass-energy version, boots): putting on shoes can be done individually without invoking the axiom of choice, but requires a net energy input - which is why we then find it so hard to leave the house.
Therefore the only procedure consistent with our current understanding of physics is: two socks, collapse of the feet waveform, energy release, energy+shoe, energy+shoe, equilibrium ... and a nice lie down.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:33 PM on January 18, 2018 [9 favorites]
... a wave of feet
Eww. That'll get a beach closed in a hurry.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:58 PM on January 18, 2018
Eww. That'll get a beach closed in a hurry.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:58 PM on January 18, 2018
OMG I cannot believe I googled shit knife. I think maybe I hate you, Metafilter - but then, it isn't your fault I can't leave curiosity doors closed.....
posted by Gyre,Gimble,Wabe, Esq. at 7:30 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Gyre,Gimble,Wabe, Esq. at 7:30 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm now a bit worried about y'all's bowels, or mine, and the need for shit knives vs having no need for them (the latter camp here, but I pass (heh) no judgement).
posted by maxwelton at 1:57 AM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 1:57 AM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm now a bit worried about y'all's bowels, or mine, and the need for shit knives vs having no need for themWait? What? Aren't we talking about first nations people in northern Canada using frozen shit to skin animals? Or is this a joke that I'm too dumb to understand?
Now I'm really confused.
posted by eotvos at 8:09 AM on January 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Holy crap, you all are talking about using metal knives to cut poop? I withdraw my enthusiastic comment. And I'm going to be sitting on the other side of the train car from now on. (To be ethically consistent, I must admit it doesn't hurt anyone and therefore I cannot claim it's wrong. So, good on you, shit-knife users. I'll be over here, across the aisle, pretending not to stare. Carry on.)
Shit knives used to make sleds out of dogs, on the other hand, are still pretty neat. Though, I'm not sure the dogs would agree.
posted by eotvos at 8:46 AM on January 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Shit knives used to make sleds out of dogs, on the other hand, are still pretty neat. Though, I'm not sure the dogs would agree.
posted by eotvos at 8:46 AM on January 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Probably a year or two ago, there was a mefite who said he - it's gotta be a man, come on - used cloth rags to wipe himself after defecating, instead of toilet paper. He put them in a basket or bucket and washed them later. That comment still haunts me.
posted by AFABulous at 9:36 AM on January 19, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by AFABulous at 9:36 AM on January 19, 2018 [4 favorites]
AFABulous, I was on a message board 15 years ago with a woman whose whole family did that. They called it “family cloth.” It does haunt you, doesn’t it.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 12:25 PM on January 19, 2018
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 12:25 PM on January 19, 2018
they... they used the SAME CLOTH?! *runs away screaming*
posted by AFABulous at 2:06 PM on January 19, 2018
posted by AFABulous at 2:06 PM on January 19, 2018
"Family cloth" is totally a thing. I was on a save money/DIY Facebook group with a LOT of people who were doing it to save the cost of TP. I quickly left that group.
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:28 AM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:28 AM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm so thankful that I only know you people on the internet and not IRL. But I'm looking side eye from now on at everyone I see IRL.
Maybe I'll just stay home with the cats... they're normal folk.
posted by mightshould at 3:03 PM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
Maybe I'll just stay home with the cats... they're normal folk.
posted by mightshould at 3:03 PM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
it's like humanity broken down into a fractal world of sub-species and sub-sub-species...
"DIE, HERETIC!" I screamed, and pushed him over the railing
posted by flabdablet at 11:11 PM on January 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
"DIE, HERETIC!" I screamed, and pushed him over the railing
posted by flabdablet at 11:11 PM on January 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
Maybe I'll just stay home with the cats... they're normal folk.
I too am shitting in a sandpit made of special moisture adsorbent deodorising clay, from whence I can later pick out my desiccated shit, like normal folk do. Let's ignore those weirdos together.
posted by ambrosen at 8:15 AM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]
I too am shitting in a sandpit made of special moisture adsorbent deodorising clay, from whence I can later pick out my desiccated shit, like normal folk do. Let's ignore those weirdos together.
posted by ambrosen at 8:15 AM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]
Personally I prefer sawdust, but whatever scoops your poop.
posted by flabdablet at 8:57 AM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 8:57 AM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]
How much does toilet paper cost, and what does it cost to launder all that "family cloth?" I'm assuming it gets sequestered, right? Adding a weekly laundry load? You don't just throw it in with the dishrags? And another thing. They're not laundering their dooky rags at the laundromat, right? So how is family cloth about pennypinching if they can afford a washing machine at home? No, this is one of those "no impact man" affectations that made liberalism a laughingstock and led directly to DJT and the end of the world.
posted by Don Pepino at 5:44 AM on January 22, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Don Pepino at 5:44 AM on January 22, 2018 [2 favorites]
Washable cloth instead of toilet paper as a concept doesn't seem all that farfetched. I have several friends who went the cloth diaper and non-disposable wipes route with their babies. One of them uses a small laundry machine (not this one, but something similar) that is solely dedicated to those items. Toilet paper isn't that expensive, but diapers are, and when they go into landfills their contents bypass the sewage system. Also, most diapers are not biodegradable or eco-friendly.
Using cloth diapers is better for the environment and less expensive. I don't know how those benefits realistically carry over to toilet paper, though. And sharing "family cloths" is an horrific idea.
posted by zarq at 8:11 AM on January 22, 2018
Using cloth diapers is better for the environment and less expensive. I don't know how those benefits realistically carry over to toilet paper, though. And sharing "family cloths" is an horrific idea.
posted by zarq at 8:11 AM on January 22, 2018
Disposable diapers are compostable. I put mine (well, my baby's) in the green bin. No landfill.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 12:48 PM on January 22, 2018
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 12:48 PM on January 22, 2018
> Disposable diapers are compostable. I put mine (well, my baby's) in the green bin.
The garbage company my city uses specifically says not to put diapers in the yardwaste bin. I presume it's because of the poop, but you'd think they'd have a way to deal with that.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:05 PM on January 22, 2018
The garbage company my city uses specifically says not to put diapers in the yardwaste bin. I presume it's because of the poop, but you'd think they'd have a way to deal with that.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:05 PM on January 22, 2018
Diapers vs. TP are two different animals. You can't flush a diaper, and as noted, they're much more expensive per pooping session. Dirty cloth diapers go in a sealed bin or container of some sort until they're washed, not kept in the same room where you're brushing your teeth and washing your face.
posted by AFABulous at 4:40 PM on January 22, 2018
posted by AFABulous at 4:40 PM on January 22, 2018
They don't go in the yard waste they go in the compost (like kitchen waste, leftover food, etc. Dog waste, feminine hygiene products and paper contaminated with food also go in the compost).
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:15 PM on January 22, 2018
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:15 PM on January 22, 2018
Well, that's a "things people do differently." Where I am (near Seattle), kitchen waste, yard waste, leftover food, and pizza boxes all go in the same bin, which I just learned is formally called the" food scraps and yard debris cart."
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:42 AM on January 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:42 AM on January 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
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posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:11 PM on January 15, 2018 [25 favorites]