Metatalktail Hour: SO WRONG! July 21, 2018 5:38 PM Subscribe

Good Saturday evening, MetaFilter! This week, moonmilk wants to know, "As I'm sitting here eating my peanut butter and jelly and raw garlic sandwich with hot sauce ... : What weird habits do you have that would horrify any right-thinking person?"

As always, it's a conversation starter, not conversation limiter, and we want to hear about whatever's up with you! (Excluding only politics.)

posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) to MetaFilter-Related at 5:38 PM (240 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

Dipping tortilla chips in apple sauce.
Dipping french fries in chocolate milkshake.
Putting rice cakes, poached egg, green onions, and a slice of american cheese in a bowl of ramen.

Sometimes my weekday lunch is a heaping spoonful of flax powder, a few ounces of yogurt, a few ounces of vegetable juice, and a couple tablespoons of granola. It's kind of like a bowl of breakfast cereal except it's green and is more like a lumpy smoothie the consistency of spackle.
posted by ardgedee at 6:06 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I've been told that my love of pepper on watermelon is wrong. I also eat toast weird in that I lightly butter my toast and then add salt and pepper. Pepper is a thing I like on a lot of my foods, so I tend to just add that, it's always been normal in our Indian house though. So whatev.
posted by Fizz at 6:11 PM on July 21, 2018 [8 favorites]

Dipping french fries in chocolate milkshake.

I don’t know if this violates the spirit of this post, but omg, I love this too!

I put ketchup on my fish; and when I eat cereal I put the milk in the bowl first and just put a little cereal in at a time so it stays crunchy.

Mr. eirias swears by many weird food combinations; a favorite is peanut butter, dill pickle, mustard, and Swiss cheese on pumpernickel. He’s turned Little eirias on to this monstrosity now. I mock them, but secretly I love that she’s turning out like him in this way.

I’m in Chicago tonight. It’s been a couple weeks of traveling - visiting friends and family in Seattle and Portland, then a funeral north of Chicago, now a conference downtown. I must say I do not recommend leaving your family for a work trip immediately after a funeral; there’s an extra layer of Don’t Wanna.
posted by eirias at 6:21 PM on July 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

When I was in college and had ready access to both, I would dip Nabisco Zweiback teething toast (which is vaguely sweet) into the jar of Marie's Garlic Italian salad dressing.

When I have takeout sushi at home, I like to eat sliced up bits of sharp cheddar cheese as a side dish.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 6:22 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

I eat peas with honey
I’ve done it all my life
It may taste kind of funny
But it keeps them on my knife
posted by zamboni at 6:24 PM on July 21, 2018 [26 favorites]

I learned about the healing power of the trinity roots in a college class in the dance department that involved doing yoga and reading about Kundalini Yoga/Sihk Dharma (it was... an odd dance class). I average 10 colds per year so I decided it couldn't hurt to use their immune-boosting powers to ease these frequent colds. But how am I going to get a big dose of those in a dorm room? I settled on making a microwave grilled cheese sandwich (cheddar not singles because I'm not a savage) with a ton of onion powder and garlic powder (guess I decided to skip the ginger). It didn't help but to this day I make that awful grilled cheese when I'm sick, which is often, I guess because it's just what I do.
posted by Tehhund at 6:26 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

Special K plus chocolate milk
posted by soelo at 6:26 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

I don't know how weird this is, but last night for dinner I had a baked potato w/butter, ham chunks, and caramelized onion chutney. Tasted fine to me.
posted by MovableBookLady at 6:28 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I like French dressing on taco salad. (I don't like French dressing on anything else, just taco salad.)

Sometimes I eat leftover French bread by dipping it in Ranch dressing, which I am routinely told is a horrifying practice that deserves banishment from the realms of men.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 6:33 PM on July 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

I sit down when I take a shower in the mornings before work. I'm too tired/sleepy to stand, so I curl into a ball at the bottom of my shower and let the water just pour on me as I slowly wake up. Also, the lights are off when I shower in the mornings like this.
posted by Fizz at 6:35 PM on July 21, 2018 [20 favorites]

Tuna salad with garlic salt and Italian dressing. Pile on tortilla chips.

Ranch dressing on French bread sounds heavenly.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:36 PM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

Lima beans with Texas Pete hot sauce.
posted by Kangaroo at 6:43 PM on July 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

Just fist-fulls of pickles. But If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

So I have the best news. Surgery was a success in every way- I *don’t* have Endo!
I just have dysmenorrhea so bad they had to open me up to check for endo lol. I have commendered my dad’s recliner and am going to rest and not lift anything for three weeks as directed, and then at my post-op discuss what meds I’m going to have to be on to counteract the dysmenorrhea. (There’s one I want to be on that has masculinizing effects, but the doc keeps treating that as a very bad thing, and I’m like ‘doc I’m genderfluid, having a deeper voice would be a blessing from the gods?’ But she doesn’t seem to be getting it)

I’m having to rely on my saintly mother to take care of my garden for 3 weeks, but she used to grow corn in the back so watering a few raised beds is easy mode for her. I finally popped a few garden pics (and dog pics) up on imgur, so eventually I can share that here. Right now I’m on my IPad and I can’t figure out how to link images from the imgur app to the safari browser- but I can’t really sit at my computer and link shit that way because my 4 incisions hurt so I guess it will be a bit till I link pictures of my garden here. *shakes fist at app*

Also dilaudid. So if I comment here and sound a little... well. Hydromorphone. Thanks to everyone who contacted me via memail to reassure me- metafilter is the best.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 6:44 PM on July 21, 2018 [39 favorites]

Deep fried tofu with lemon tahini dressing.

I got through my first week at my new job and it was pretty ok! Everyone has been very nice and when 3pm rolls around I get to just ...go home, instead of being peer-pressured into staying later like at my last job.

Here is a picture of the cat having some supervised outside time earlier this week.
posted by janepanic at 6:53 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I, too, have been sitting for showers lately- and what’s really made it nice is when I pull in the plastic IKEA stool and sit on that instead of the shower floor. LUXURY.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:02 PM on July 21, 2018 [7 favorites]

I was going to claim that I have no wrong habits, and then my spouse pointed out that I have no taboos around feet and will happily curl up in public armchairs with socked feet underneath me. I... I should probably break that habit, but it's so much more comfortable. Also, sitting for showers is the bomb and is one of the reasons that peeing in the shower is so gosh-darn horrifying. (I don't do it often, but it's a nice luxury I occasionally indulge in.)

I went to my neuroendocrinology conference and it was... mostly okay! I have been hideously blocked at work for some time, so even though the conference was Not My Thing exactly, it was really good for me to get out and present my work to people I didn't know. I wound up fear-procrastinating for way too long and then having to rush it, but I think it still came out okay anyway. Next one will be better.

(Metafilter will be seeing a poster in Projects, although perhaps not the one I presented there--I have another poster in a few weeks that will need to be substantially different since it's presenting just my work and not pairing my work with a colleague's. I intend to get that one revised and a little cleaner-looking by the end of the week, so knock wood that I manage to accomplish that.)

I'm not as revitalized as I often am from conferences, but I brought home to Texas an actual gallon of the good extra-dark maple syrup and eighteen packets of Kraft Dinner for my long-suffering spouse, too. So I suppose that's nearly as good. The meeting I truly love going to will be the one in a few weeks, so I have that to look forward to and polish myself up for.
posted by sciatrix at 7:08 PM on July 21, 2018 [9 favorites]

Since I was a kid, warm v-8 and a very (very) ripe banana.

Objectively disgusting but it’s a sentimental snack.
posted by bilabial at 7:09 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I’m wildly obsessive and compulsive, so my habits aren’t so much horrifying as they are beyond annoying. Like, I use my toes to pick stuff up and put it in the trash. I eat things in even numbers, whenever possible. I often eat plain toast because of the hassle and hand washing required to put butter and jam on it. And so on. I’m having trouble thinking of more examples because I take for granted how weird my habits are. It’s not until someone sees me doing something and comments on it that I’ll be like “oh gee, that is weird.” But I do know it’s weird to pick stuff up with my feet.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 7:13 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

when I eat cereal I put the milk in the bowl first and just put a little cereal in at a time so it stays crunchy.

I do this too! I hate soggy cereal.

I often get weird looks because rather than putting salt on top of my food, I like to make a salt pile and dip my food into it. I really like salt.

I also get weird looks when I eat hamburgers (or when ordering in a restaurant), because all I want is a hamburger patty and the bun. (Also salt). No cheese, no lettuce, no tomatoes, definitely no ketchup. Just meat, bread, and salt.
posted by litera scripta manet at 7:19 PM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

The house I grew up in was very small, so my family ate dinner every night on TV trays in the living room. Well, my parents did. Until I was, well, until I got too pregnant to do it anymore, I ate lying on the floor, reading a book. I also didn’t use dressing until I was 19, so at home, I ate salad with my hands, because I’m an animal. I was an odd child and my parents let me do my own thing. And to be honest, I only know those are weird things because people told me. It didn’t seem weird to me, and I’d still eat lying on the floor reading a book if it weren’t for family dinner and a food-obsessed dog. Apparently, I have a lot of weird habits, or so I’m told.
posted by Ruki at 7:20 PM on July 21, 2018 [6 favorites]

I cannot be in the presence of other people if I have gum. This habit developed sometime in the last 10-15 years. I cram 2-4 pieces of gum in my mouth and I constantly blow bubbles and pop them and am just generally super obnoxious with it. I am normally offended by loud chewing so I don't know why I find this activity amusing.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 7:26 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I put pepper on cantaloupe and strawberries, my father put pepper in buttermilk... ewww. Take a lot of showers in the dark mostly with my eyes closed. I put some sort of vinegar on green beans, broccoli, and ham (there was a squeeze bottle of white vinegar at the table as a child). I make my hamburgers (well more of a patty melt 'cause who has time for buns over slices of toast) with a bit of S&B Curry Powder, yum.

Mostly the past week I've been performing a lizard brain transplant on my laptop 'gaz' (from Invader Zim). She Debian unstable and had been moved between hardware since about 2011 (when Ubuntu went off the rails with Unity)... hacks eventually accumulated. :( So I checked my backups, saved some whole partitions, installed Debian 9 the right way this time, encrypted LVM.

It hasn't been as easy as planned. I thought task-desktop-lxde would just work like the LiveCD did... nope! First I had to make her boot again because UEFI options didn't get written. Then LXDE was all not-HiDPI aware and everything was tiny! Had to fix that, but first had to remember how to setup autofs so I could get at my backups.

gaz is coming along nicely, I'm slowly moving her consciousness back to her old body but with a new nervous system that works.
posted by zengargoyle at 7:29 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

One of my fallback lazy dinners is a bowl of instant mashed potatoes mixed with a can of tuna, olive oil, garlic powder, salt, some capers, and a handful of spinach if I have it on hand. My roommates tell me this is horrifying but respect that it’s a comfort meal.

I also sleep with the same baby blanket I’ve had since I was very tiny, using it like a real grown-up would use an eye mask. That blanket has seen some things, but it does get washed regularly so I have at least that much adult cred going for me.
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:30 PM on July 21, 2018 [10 favorites]

Not the worst of my habits by a long chalk, but the one that comes to mind. Anywhen other than winter I'm a damn sweaty man, so when I get where I'm going I'll quite happily break out the kitchen roll (possibly mine, possibly work's, possibly yours) and wipe down every exposed bit of flesh I can reach. Twice. In the kitchen, if need be. Your kitchen, if need be. This here Para Elemental from the Plane of Perspiration knows naught of either shame or dignity.

Douglas Adams was right, I should always carry a towel.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:31 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

Dipping french fries in chocolate milkshake.

If doing that is wrong, then I don't wanna be right. Anything simultaneously sweet and salty is my thing.

I eat popcorn, potato chips and Cheetos with chopsticks. I always feel a little bit like that old guy on Seinfeld eating his banana with a fork and knife, but it keeps the fingers clean! (Also makes the snacking a little slower paced than cramming handfuls of the stuff in my mouth, which would ordinarily be my preference.)
posted by Daily Alice at 7:31 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

Chili on spaghetti with diced onions and shredded cheddar cheese.

Dill pickle slices on a grilled cheese sandwich. Yum.
posted by SLC Mom at 7:32 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I routinely make quesadillas that are downgraded to being called tortillas-and-cheese because no right-thinking person makes them in the microwave, but in my defense, this was what I was allowed to do for snacks before I was allowed to use the stove. I like them done on the stove better, arguably, but the microwaved version is the comfort food version.
posted by Sequence at 7:34 PM on July 21, 2018 [8 favorites]

I eat unpeeled bananas with a long teaspoon. Cut off the top bit and the peel is like a jar.
posted by mochapickle at 7:36 PM on July 21, 2018 [9 favorites]

I brush my teeth in the shower. It saves so much time!

(Okay, for real, I think I have strange issues around brushing my teeth so I always find it kind of an outsized chore. Listening to a podcast when I'm not showering helps, and doing it in the shower feels more like multi-tasking?)

I go around my apartment building in bare feet all the time -- I don't even know if this is weird or not, because I actually see another person in the halls maybe once a day, if that, and they're usually coming in or heading out, but I suspect it's strange behavior for a semi-public place.
posted by kalimac at 7:36 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I walk barefoot around a lot of public and semi-public spaces too, because shoes are foot prisons and feet are easy to wash! People clearly think it's weird but I have stopped caring. I don't go to like STORES barefoot, but I've been known to remove my shoes under the table at restaurants if nobody can see!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 7:50 PM on July 21, 2018 [11 favorites]

Kalimac, you could walk on the wild side and listen to a podcast IN THE SHOWER. I prop up my phone behind the shampoo so it’s protected and the sound projects nicely. It really elevates the shower experience.
posted by pintapicasso at 7:53 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I just made coconut cream pie:

https://imgur.com/a/j3gFcuk
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:54 PM on July 21, 2018 [6 favorites]

I like my hot dogs plain with just ketchup. I've been told I'm a savage.
posted by COD at 7:59 PM on July 21, 2018 [5 favorites]

I like my hot dogs plain with just ketchup. I've been told I'm a savage.

I'm not opposed to fancy hot dogs with all the extras, but a plain hot dog with ketchup is perfectly fine in my book.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:01 PM on July 21, 2018 [5 favorites]

SLC Mom, are you from Cincinnati?

I had pre-supper beers tonight with chaoticgood and her wonderful partner. They're always a hoot, and I don't see them enough. Louisville, Lexington and Cincinnati folks, do watch for a meetup soon.

As far as weird habits, I've probably got hundreds, but as my partner isn't here to tell me about them, I'm drawing a blank. I like putting home made ranch dressing (sour cream and ranch powder mix) on hamburgers, so there's that.
posted by deezil at 8:11 PM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

I like my hot dogs plain with just ketchup."

Mass Chicago fainting.

"a plain hot dog with ketchup is perfectly fine in my book."

Fainting intensifies.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 8:12 PM on July 21, 2018 [14 favorites]

Pretty much all of your horrible snacks sound delicious to me, or maybe I'm just hungry.

shapes that haunt the dusk - I also pace around picking up stuff with my feet for the trash, especially if my dog is shedding or has brought in some pebbles or I spilled onion chunks on the kitchen floor. It's so much easier than bending over to pick stuff up!

There's a little plaza behind the Brooklyn Museum paved in all kinds of different patterns of bricks and stones, and I like to slip my shoes off and walk around there to feel the different textures.
posted by moonmilk at 8:13 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I like my hot dogs plain with just mustard. When I was a kid, I used to only like cheeseburgers with only meat and cheese, but nowadays I like burgers with all the fixings that will allow it to still fit in my mouth (except for lettuce, whose only goddamn purpose in burgers is to make them STRUCTURALLY UNSOUND and to help other, better burger fixings slide out of the burger too, FIGHT ME about it, stupid lettuce). But I still only like hot dogs plain with just mustard.

not sure how weird this is, but I've tried it a few times and am always surprised that it's not a thing: steeping masala chai in chocolate milk instead of plain milk. works best with the spiciest masala chai blends, otherwise the chocolate overtakes everything else. I did ask the friendly baristas at Coffee Bean to make me a chai latte with their chocolate powder blend instead of the vanilla they usually add once, and sadly, that was one case where the chocolate didn't play nice with the masala.
posted by yasaman at 8:16 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I'm blanking on behavioral things too, but vis-a-vis consumables I am told my favorite drink is disgusting; I mix diet coke or root beer and milk, which tastes like a melted float. Long ago there was an episode of Laverne and Shirley in which Laverne is interviewing candidate replacement roommates for some reason. One's personality and quirks are very similar to Laverne's, right down to the embroidered initial on her sweater. But they discover an inherent compatibility: one likes Coke and milk while the other prefers to mix Pepsi into her milk. Anyway, this sounded fantastic to me, but it was probably 20 years before I actually tried it, and it was every bit as wonderful as I hoped.
posted by carmicha at 8:25 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

The best part of a hotdog is when the meat is gone and it's just a bun with some mayo, mustard, ketchup, onions, and relish. You have to make sure to push the dog forward while eating to make sure you have that last bit of delicious. I've noticed that my niece and nephews think "pigs in a blanket" are hotdogs or vienna sausages wrapped in croissant dough... in my day it was a slice of bologna wrapped up with a slice of american cheese. Now I just wrap a hunk of sharp cheddar or pepper-jack with some random cold cuts (and a dab of mustard or wasabi).

Ah, I get a bag of 4 cheese 4 minute ravioli and I layer it in a bowl and put some fresh parm and some drops of hot sauce on each layer.... most of the time a different level of hot. No sort of tomato/cream sauce needed.
posted by zengargoyle at 8:27 PM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

The worst part of a hotdog is saving the last bite for your real dog and really regretting giving up that last bite because it looks so good.
posted by moonmilk at 8:29 PM on July 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

Surprisingly good but I haven't done it in a long while.... gramps taught me to buy a 'horse pop' (just like 10/12/16 oz instead of the old-timey 6/8 oz) and a bag of shelled, salted peanuts. You drink some pop and then pour the peanuts into the bottle. Salty fizzy soda with crunchy bits.
posted by zengargoyle at 8:33 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

I made a spice cake and improvised a fire whiskey butter glaze for it. I also made dark chocolate brownies. I have a pitch-in thing tomorrow with some improv and acting friends.

Also. I like my turkey dogs with cheddar cheese...no ketchup or onions or relish or whatever other condiments. I also like the outside of the turkey dog so dark from the grill that I could draw a portrait with it.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 8:34 PM on July 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm sure I have terrible habits but I can't think of them because I just got home from Janelle Monae and my brain is melted from how fucking amazing she is and how loving and kind and beautiful the crowd was. She ended the show with Cold War going into Tightrope, before her encore. I was not expecting hear Cold War and it caught me entirely off guard and knocked the breath out of me and made me cry. Cold War got me through fieldwork after being assaulted and it kept me going through my dissertation writing and it kept me going over the past two years and ... I can't believe Janelle Monae just sang it to me. It feels like such a gift. She's wonderful and the show was wonderful and you're all wonderful!
posted by ChuraChura at 8:34 PM on July 21, 2018 [46 favorites]

Just fist-fulls of pickles. But If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Kids at my son's elementary and wife's high school love pickles. At every food-based fundraiser, pickles are a sure thing. And pickle juice is good for post-exercise prevention of cramps, so there's that.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:50 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

In the summer when it's too hot in Texas to turn on the oven to make nachos, I make my "icebox nachos."

Crumble up a bunch of tortilla chips inna bowl, then mix in pimiento cheese spread and a half bottle of chilled salsa.I don't drink, but people tell me it's extra delicious with a cold beer.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 8:55 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

"Kids at my son's elementary and wife's high school love pickles. At every food-based fundraiser, pickles are a sure thing."

Yeah, my kids' elementary school had a pickle-only fundraiser! You'd send in $1 and your kid would get a jumbo fancy pickle at lunch. I'd never seen such a thing but like every kid bought them!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 9:01 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

If we’re talking hot dogs, I like to think of myself as the great unifier. I lived in Chicago, and had a deep love and appreciation for a Chicago dog, or a Polish with onions and sauerkraut.

But I also have family from NY, and I love a NY style dog, with ketchup, mustard, and relish. Sometimes just mustard, or just ketchup.

Chili dogs? Please, any time. I am from an area with famous chili dogs. Truly they are a blessing, for they are not one thing I love, but two.

When I was in Berlin many years ago, there was a place called Hot Dog Soup, that sold hot dogs and soup. Their hot dogs were all odd combos, and I can’t even remember what exactly was on them, except that it would be piled on top. You’d think it would be too much, right? But no. I liked those too.

Now that I’m in Northern California, I even like the veggie dogs at Top Dog in Berkeley.

So please, let’s all hold hands and recognize that hot dogs are the greatest of creations, and appreciate the time on Earth we have with them, however we choose to partake. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world...
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 9:06 PM on July 21, 2018 [10 favorites]

I feel like the main "weird" thing I do is interact online, often frequently and at reasonably emotionally intimate levels, which people I've never met in person, but I somehow doubt anyone in this particular forum is going to find that weird.

Related: It's my birthday next week and getting cards from MeFites with the MeFi Card Club is making me so very happy! I also got a card from a non-MeFite friend today and I was momentarily confused as to how she had signed up for the Card Club. It is so nice to go to my post office box and have something other than bills and junk mail. I love you all!
posted by lazuli at 9:10 PM on July 21, 2018 [15 favorites]

I'm also rereading an Agatha Christie novel and wanted to get a better sense of what the "really rich" victim's inheritance was worth, so I found this Historical Currency Convertor and I've been playing with it. Everything gets converted via Swedish buying power, which is interesting all on its own.
posted by lazuli at 9:25 PM on July 21, 2018 [5 favorites]

Lazuli-happy almost birthday!!!!

I love bread spread with butter and sprinkled thickly with the “Parmesan” from the green can. Cooked directly on the oven rack until the cheese starts to brown a bit.

Also bowl of Cheerios, with melted butter and seasoned salt. Better than popcorn!
posted by purenitrous at 9:27 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

When I make nachos I crunch all the chips down into the bowl and eat them with a fork. I also went through a phase of eating raw oatmeal with yogurt for breakfast. I mean, it's basically muesli without all the extra add-ins, right?
posted by drlith at 9:42 PM on July 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

When I set my alarm clock it's always to a weird number like 8:03, 9:21, 7:57, etc. This drives my wife nuts, she always uses nice round increments of 5, 10, 15 minutes.
posted by equalpants at 9:47 PM on July 21, 2018 [10 favorites]

I put ketchup on my scrambled eggs. When I was in my 20s I learned that not everyone does that and many people think that's awful. Not sorry.
posted by kimberussell at 10:09 PM on July 21, 2018 [6 favorites]

When I set my alarm clock it's always to a weird number like 8:03, 9:21, 7:57, etc. This drives my wife nuts, she always uses nice round increments of 5, 10, 15 minutes.

Oh, right! I have a very mild synesthesia that means that numerals have personalities, and many of them do not get along, or at least have nothing to talk about with each other and so don't want to be stuck next to each other. I have a hard time setting alarm clocks and thermostats because I am also codependent and need for everyone to get along.
posted by lazuli at 10:10 PM on July 21, 2018 [20 favorites]

- Green bananas. Given the choice, I much prefer a green banana to a yellow or brown banana.
- Peanut butter on onion bagels. Grandma taught me to love this one.
- Dipping my french fries in mayonnaise, which is luxurious.
- Using malt vinegar on my fries (a weird thing only if you’re from the U.S.)
- Despite growing up and still living among people who pronounce “roof” with the same “oo” sound as “food”, I have always pronounced “roof” with the same “oo” sound as “book.” All I know is that while there are others out there who use the same pronunciation as me, we are definitely in the minority.
- Likewise, despite not growing up cajun/French creole, I have used the term “gradeaux” (pronounced grah-doo) as slang for “gunk” — pretty much for as long as I can remember. I picked it up from my parents, who are also not cajun. (Also, when googling this to get an idea of how weird I am for using it, I learned that the top definition on Urban Dictionary for gradeaux is ‘wolf dick’, so there’s that.)
- I eat the tails on shrimp.
- I am abnormally terrified of being jinxed and, therefore, am always talking about knocking on wood and finding wood to knock on. I believe in no other superstitions except this one.
posted by nightrecordings at 10:34 PM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

Ok so I think this is the link to my imgur But between dilaudid and surgery brain my internet skills have degraded to Luddite. It’s just garden stuff and my dog, but hopefully once I’m feeling better I can put more images of my garden (and dog) up and gear up to having a legit gardening blog. First I have to stop being a Luddite of course.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:40 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

@zamboni, that's one of my all-time favorites!

Food weirdness: if a dish has layers, then I tend to eat it in layers. Like, a layer cake I would eat the top frosting, then the top cake layer, then the middle frosting, then the bottom cake layer. (Sandwiches generally excepted.) I also tend to be a Slow-Eater-Tiny-Bite-Taker.

I hate stickers. I can't help picturing filth and crud building up around the peeling edges. I won't take the "I Voted" sticker at the polling place, and the volunteers always look confused and sad about it.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:46 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

I chewed a lot of bubble gum as a kid (and I used to like setting the comics on fire as I held them by a corner and seeing if I could get them to float up toward the ceiling; I burned most of the back porch off our house when I was in late first or early second grade doing that), but bubble gum was not stiff enough for me, and I somehow got into the habit of chewing road tar. It had to be fresh, or it would have too much gravel in it and it was too hard to get it up off the road surface, so when I smelled the tarring crews at work, I went back where they'd been and peeled away a section that had a volume maybe four times the volume of a piece of Double Bubble. It was acrid and bitter, but I was drawn to flavors like that then, yet it also had an ethereal sweetness to it. In retrospect I imagine people thought I was chewing licorice if they thought anything at all.

As an adult I somehow discovered I could keep eating when I'm three quarters asleep. It helps if I turn out almost all the lights, and it has to be finger food such as cheese puffs or dried fruit. After the first few bites, an overpowering wave of sleepiness will wash over me, and I'll close my eyes, but I keep eating, although the process slows down drastically and it may take more than an hour to eat an 8 oz. bag of puffs. I can't stop until the food is gone -- I've tried! -- unless I fall all the way asleep, which carries a risk of waking up hours later with a mouth full of food. The reward is a sensation of flavor several times as intense as I can achieve when awake.
posted by jamjam at 10:51 PM on July 21, 2018 [8 favorites]

Also dilaudid. So if I comment here and sound a little... well.

I was given IV Dilaudid for a migraine once. It was like time stood still. It was the first time in my life that I didn't have words and pictures running around in my head.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:52 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

Oh and I am getting some great cards from the card club and I just want to thank everyone because being laid up and getting mail is just the best thing ever, I love you all.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:52 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

nightrecordings: I have several likes with yours: green bananas, malt vinegar on fries, and the "oo" sound you use (I also say "broom" and "room" that way, and cracked up Californians when I'd say "Gary Cooper" you know, like chicken coop).
posted by MovableBookLady at 10:53 PM on July 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

i voluntarily watch and enjoy michael bay films and no one can stop me
posted by poffin boffin at 10:54 PM on July 21, 2018 [5 favorites]

When I set my alarm clock it's always to a weird number like 8:03, 9:21, 7:57, etc. This drives my wife nuts, she always uses nice round increments of 5, 10, 15 minutes.

For YEARS, my morning alarms were set to 6:24 and 6:34.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:55 PM on July 21, 2018

Oh, and I tap dance on escalators. Nothing fancy; just a little timestep.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:57 PM on July 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I was given IV Dilaudid for a migraine once. It was like time stood still. It was the first time in my life that I didn't have words and pictures running around in my head.

I’m on a fairly low oral dose (which is a problem I am still in some pain- why I’m up so late bleh) but during the day when it’s working I’m totally normal except if I close my eyes a little bit and concentrate on my legs it’s like my whole body is buzzing like a happy bee. Like a low hum. It’s uh... it’s like my brain does that too. It’s definitely something alright.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 11:21 PM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

But I do know it’s weird to pick stuff up with my feet. I refuse to believe this. If I weren't meant to pick things up with my feet, it wouldn't be so convenient to do so.

I feel like I'd get on with several of you--buttered, salted cheerios are the best cheerios, and salt on your ice cream makes it much better. I think that in my heart of hearts, I believe that anything can be tasty if you add enough butter and/or salt.

Minor food weirdness: I like my foods separated on my plate--not so that they don't touch, but so that I can more easily devise the perfect bite, containing precise amounts of all of the things. When it's all mixed together, it's much harder to get the ratios right. I also like to save specific things to make for a perfect last bite--you don't want to accidentally finish eating on a sub-par part of the meal and have that feeling in your mouth for hours to come.
posted by mishafletch at 11:47 PM on July 21, 2018 [6 favorites]

Multi-kid sleepover in the backyard, never again!

This kid can't sleep because it's too dark.
That kid can't sleep because it's too light with the nightlight.
One can't sleep because the other ones keep talking.
Two of them need to go to the bathroom.
That one wants to keep watching the movie and one of them wants mom.

Also, I'm pretty sure we used to have 8 back there, now there are only 7, so someone hopped the fence.

Oy.
posted by madajb at 11:50 PM on July 21, 2018 [14 favorites]

Homo neanderthalensis, glad the surgery went well!

ChuraChura, I am going to see Janelle Monae in September, cannot wait!

I feel like weird things I do are just explained by being foreign or living alone for too long...
posted by ellieBOA at 12:25 AM on July 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

Not weird, but yesterday I had the best damn pastrami sandwich in my life at a little craft beer stall in a mercado about 30 mins walk away from my apartment. We weren't even supposed to be going to this place, the Taproom we had intended to go to decided that listed opening hours are a suggestion only. Serendipity.
posted by arcticseal at 12:32 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

My favorite french fry dip is pure honey. I can't think of anything else that's "horrific", but I've been called out for that one before.
posted by lesser weasel at 1:01 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

Raisins, even without chocolate coating. In hot cereal or cold cereal instead of sugar, in peanut butter sandwiches instead of jelly...just about anyway.
posted by Cranberry at 1:22 AM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

jamjam: I somehow got into the habit of chewing road tar.

I (6 yo) did that during a holiday in Sweden, where it was very hot. So glad I'm not alone.

Also:
I use cotton buds in all the ways you shouldn't. And I don't floss. Sue me.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:49 AM on July 22, 2018

I can't eat oreos as they are, as they taste too arid. Until I discovered the joys of deep fried oreos, and that's the only way I can eat them now. Though only in small quantities, otherwise worrying pains start.

Uh, what else? I occasionally steal toilet paper from the houses of racists. To expand: if I'm at a party or social event or whatever in the house of someone who turns out to be a bigot or a racist, then on leaving (if I am the last guest) I will sometimes visit their restroom and remove all of the toilet paper (in the hope that, once gone, the host will think "Ah, finally; a chance for a poo!", with the resulting inconvenience). Twice, I've anonymously posted the toilet paper back, without a stamp so they have to pay for the postage.

As noted before, in collaboration I stole a pig some 33 years ago now, with multiple good reasons. The ripple effects and repercussions of this are still occuring. The whole story (before, during, after, ongoing) would easily fill a book, but I need to outlive two more people in order to write and publish it without repercussions to some former neighbours of good standing. (The only part written in detail was about the hassle of having to move a hot pig by passenger train in 1980s rural Worcestershire)

Marmalade. Can't say any more (sorry; this is a family website).

(The thing I am most ashamed of, to be honest) When I used to play village cricket, doing a really fast run up and then slowing down, altering my stance and bowling an attempted leg break right at the end. This is something you can only try once in a match, against opponents who have not batted against you, and is usually considered against the spirit of the game. You also have to do it in cahoots with the wicket keeper, else he'll be standing way too far back. Umpires are never impressed, to put it very mildly.

+ + + + +

I went and put my write-up of yesterday's cake encounter on the Fizz-enabled excellent MetaTalk thread on yummy foods, which in some ways is the wierd mirror image of this thread. Can we have a regular thread about food, here on MetaTalk, please as it's the one topic that seems to unite the MeFite community in happy discussion?
posted by Wordshore at 2:00 AM on July 22, 2018 [24 favorites]

I developed the habit of "equity eating" as a means of portion control, and preventing weight gain. You take one small bite of each item in turn, chewing thoroughly, and swallowing before moving to the next. The obsession comes into play as you try to whittle down each item so that there will be exactly one bite of each left at the end.

Apparently, waitstaff find this intriguing, since it takes a while. It is not good for turning tables. I tend to tip well.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:09 AM on July 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

I grew up eating salt on both watermelon and grapefruit and was disgusted when I discovered that some folks desecrate grapefruit by topping it with sugar and popping it under the broiler. Such obscenity has never passed my lips and never will. I wear mismatched socks 95% of the time and have for at least 15 years. I prefer wearing socks that are complementary rather than matching. (There are exceptions, such as a pair of “fuck off I’m reading” socks I got from a MeFite last gift exchange.) I am a female who does not shave legs nor pits nor wear make up cause I don’t wanna. Totally great that others do but not my thing. Also, I enjoy showing off my hairy legs in the summer as a reminder to folks mired in the patriarchy that gals are not usually born as smooth and hairless as mass media and Barbies might suggest.
posted by Bella Donna at 4:13 AM on July 22, 2018 [9 favorites]

I don't know if I'm fond of any wrong *combinations*, but I am a fan of many things that are often deemed objectionable: black licorice, buttered popcorn jellybeans, mayonnaise. (Not combined, no.)

I do have a habit of walking outside in my boxers and t-shirt to get the mail, take out the trash, and so forth--or sometimes just to get some fresh air while I enjoy my coffee. I have a tendency to treat our small front yard as an extension of my living room.

It's been a challenging week. I fell onto the baby gate last Sunday, tearing it out of the wall, and I've been increasingly sore and weak since Tuesday morning. It's getting better now, but at its peak my arms were in such bad shape I needed both hands to open the car door, and struggled to do things like open tupperware containers. Anyway, I too was supposed to go to Janelle Monae (on Friday--she was playing in DC) with my wife and two of our friends, but I had to sit it out. They had a great time and I stayed home and slept. Sigh.

But it's actually been a fun week despite the letdowns, with friends visiting from out of town, playing D&D with my crew, and hosting a "hymn sing" for our church in our very small home. It was packed and cozy and fun.

Also, last weekend I went to the Wild Goose Festival in Hot Springs, NC with my family (including our 2 year old!) where we camped and just had a wonderful time in general. We didn't get much sleep, because toddler, but 10/10 would do it again.

Right now the kiddo is bringing me every food item she can find and trying to put it in my mouth, saying "papa you gotta eat."
posted by duffell at 4:37 AM on July 22, 2018 [15 favorites]

Dipping french fries in chocolate milkshake.

If this is wrong, then I don't want to be right. See also: onion rings.
posted by Vesihiisi at 4:45 AM on July 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

Strawberries with black pepper and honey, microwaved until it’s warm. Yummy.

Or just a spoonful of golden syrup sprinkled with salt and pepper.
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 4:46 AM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

I have far too many hideously idiosyncratic habits to go into here. OK, I'll tell you one. I like to eat doughnuts using a fork, since I don't like getting my fingers all horrible with the sugar and whatnot.

Anyway, today I booked everything for a short trip to see Dylan Moran live in September. It was a bit fraught because I had already booked train tickets, then the gig day I wanted suddenly became sold out, so I had to re-arrange things a bit. BUT: Dylan Moran is my hero and that is all.
posted by Juso No Thankyou at 5:14 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm happy that MetaFilter is a sitting in the dark while taking a shower safe community.

The same for putting pepper on fruits. It just makes it taste better.
posted by Fizz at 6:06 AM on July 22, 2018 [5 favorites]

I put a thin layer of honey on the plate before putting my fried eggs on top. It's delicious. Honey eggs!
posted by dobbs at 7:25 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

shoes are foot prisons

Eyebrows, have you discovered VivoBarefoot yet? Changed my life.
posted by dobbs at 7:30 AM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

I have no shame about when my heels start to hurt and I’m with friends of just taking off my shoes and walking barefoot down the sidewalk.
posted by corb at 7:35 AM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

MetaFilter: A "sitting in the dark while taking a shower" safe community.
posted by Bella Donna at 7:37 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

My wife keeps yelling at me to stop spending and to use what we already have because we want to take the kids on a road trip. So, in response, for breakfast, I used the leftovers from Friday night's Long John Silvers and cubed the fish, a couple of onion rings, a hand full of french fries, and I threw those cubes on a hot griddle. I let them fry in their own oil for a while and then I added the leftover side of buttered corn and some chopped fresh scallions. Flipped that around for a while and then added two beaten eggs and flattened it out. I cut that into quarters and flipped the smaller patties. Once lightly browned I took them off and topped them with taberu rayu, which is this Japanese chili oil and crunchy-fried garlic condiment. It was fucking fabulous.
posted by Stanczyk at 7:38 AM on July 22, 2018 [5 favorites]

Not sure what my weird food habits are. Fistfuls of croutons straight from the bag?

Oh, here's one. I finally pulled out my zucchini plants this morning because they were destroyed by pests but I saved the flowers and fried some up for the first time, only we didn't have any other cheese so I used polly-o string cheese to stuff them. The twisty kind, mozzarella and cheddar. Yum.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:40 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

Another vote for ketchup on scrambled eggs here...
In other news, I received so many delightful birthday cards this month from the Card Club! I’ve had a rough two months, and receiving all these little surprises in the mail over the last couple of weeks has been so great. Thanks again to Fig for organizing/facilitating, and thanks to all the Card Club members for participating—Card Club is so much fun!
posted by bookmammal at 8:05 AM on July 22, 2018 [6 favorites]

I've stopped doing these, but I was one of those kids who is really into ketchup.

So, ketchup on rice was a thing for me up until my mid-20s. Ketchup on uncooked tofu, however, was a weird thing I did when I was a kid.
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 8:14 AM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Iced coffee is so. damn. good. with a lime squeezed into it. I'll put it in hot coffee also, and I like it a lot, but I don't drink very much hot coffee in recent years.

Basically, lime squeezed over anything. Lemons also but lime is more tart, or so it seems to me.

~~~~~

Nine extra large eggs for breakfast -- really good protein, really good fat, and I'm always super-hungry after a bike ride and I don't eat junk food and I don't want a lot of carbs. Don't you dare tell my cardiologist. My blood work always comes back pristine -- way better than yours, for example -- so it doesn't seem to be hurting me any. But my cardiologist gets all hand-wavey and jump-around-loony-toons at the mention of even one flippin' egg. And he's not afraid to get all frowny and pull his trump card -- "I've seen you dead!" -- and it's awfully hard to beat that one. So, I just lie, same as you would.

I cook them in the microwave. I separate out the yolks, cook the egg white in a glass bowl until it's cooked through (about 4:30) then stir in the yolks, cook it for another 1:15. Grind that pink sea salt I love so much and good-guy pepper onto it and lo, life is good.
(No, I don't squeeze lime on the eggs.)
posted by dancestoblue at 8:58 AM on July 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

I like to lay down in the shower sometimes, so that I get a water massage across as much of my body as possible.
posted by Margalo Epps at 9:11 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

I used to think I liked really weird flavor combinations, but I've learned that none of these are really that weird, and aren't nearly as weird as sriracha-peanut butter sandwiches or something.

But I'm definitely in the "eat weird flavors together" camp where I like noshing on combined bites of unlikely things, especially sweet+savory. Pancakes and bacon on the same plate? Hell yeah. Eggs, hash browns and ketchup? Yum.

All that being said one of the weirdest things about my food habits these days is I only rarely eat or cook hot food at all. I've been living without a kitchen or refrigerator for over 4 years now, and I don't really care about it. I have places I can go if I really want to cook or eat something warm, and I sometimes do, but mainly I don't. I think the last hot food I had was a slice of pizza, and if I was offered the choice of a fresh hot Hawaiian slice or a cold left over one from the fridge, I probably would have taken the cold one.

The upside to this is I tend to eat mostly vegan with fresh produce, and lots of avocados and apples, things that don't require refrigeration or cooking. It accidentally ends up being super fresh and healthy, almost all the time.

Another weird and new thing about me is I now almost always carry around not just a bag of portable snacks (Apples, nuts, jerky) but I never leave home without a spoon, knife and a backpacker's salt and pepper shaker.

Why? In case I meet any avocados that need eating. I'm always ready for an avocado. Always.
posted by loquacious at 9:31 AM on July 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

If we are out of milk in the house

I will substitute with butter.

I can do without sugar. I can have espresso plain... But if I'm killing a pot of coffee I need a dairy product in it. I shudder the day when I find out I am out of Milk, cream, half and half, AND butter...

Cream cheese, sour cream and cottage cheese seem like the next candidates for testing...
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:31 AM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I kiss my dog on the lips. Actually I taught him to boop me on the lips when I make kissy face at him. It's really cute.
posted by HotToddy at 9:35 AM on July 22, 2018 [8 favorites]

My favorite ice cream sundae of all time is mint chocolate chip ice cream with hot fudge and peanut butter sauce (no whipped cream or nuts, thank you). I figure - mint and chocolate taste great together, peanut butter and chocolate is a classic, so why not all three?

Bonus: I never have to share.
posted by saturngirl at 9:36 AM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

Autoplay on YouTube introduced me to the music of The Living Tombstone and other artists who work based on video games and memes. Most of this stuff is intended for people young enough to be my kids. I haven't even played most of the games. I ... like it? Sometimes it's more like irritainment, but sometimes it's seriously catchy, and it's lively music that helps me focus when I work. I also listen to long chiptune mixes on Spotify for the same reason.

I also sometimes like to listen to the Game Grumps in the background when I'm doing something else. I couldn't explain why it's worthwhile for me to listen to a couple of dude gamers fart and complain, but somehow it is.
posted by Countess Elena at 9:39 AM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

I like to lay down in the shower sometimes, so that I get a water massage across as much of my body as possible.

Is your shower luxuriously large, or are you charmingly compact (or both)?
posted by Segundus at 9:52 AM on July 22, 2018 [6 favorites]

I am too normal to have some mixed-up tastes like you weirdos. However, I wanted to share one of life's small pleasures. I noticed this morning that East Fife were playing Forfar in the Scottish League Cup. It finished 1:1. However, since its the league cup and there is no time in the calendar for replays they decided it on penalties. It finished 5:4. It's East Fife five, Forfar four.
posted by biffa at 10:02 AM on July 22, 2018 [28 favorites]

Finishing East Fife five, Forfar four is fucking funny.
posted by Stanczyk at 10:06 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

Oh, that is such a delightful sentence, biffa! My spouse recently bought a secretary desk off Craigslist and discovered, with great joy, that the little mail slots built into the top of it are precisely the right width to hold a bottle of Noodler's fountain pen ink and precisely the right depth to accommodate four of the little bottles. Which is exactly the number they happen to have at the moment.

It was very satisfying to watch all of them go in in a row.
posted by sciatrix at 10:29 AM on July 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

Hash browns made out of leftover french fries are the bomb.
posted by Daily Alice at 10:38 AM on July 22, 2018

I take both of my contact lenses out at the same time using one hand for each eye. Never seemed strange to me, but every time I do it in front of someone, they react with surprise or alarm.

My birthday was yesterday, so my partner and I went on a camping trip down the shore. We stayed in a state park near Asbury Park, NJ, and had a lovely time. We came home a day early because of the rain, and spent yesterday watching dumb movies. We met up with friends for a drink at my favorite brewery last night. Tonight there will be birthday trifle and a medium long bike ride.

My goal this year is to figure out my career plans. I’ve dabbled in a lot of different things but nothing has stuck so far. There’s probably an AdkMe in there somewhere.
posted by coppermoss at 10:47 AM on July 22, 2018 [6 favorites]

Chili on spaghetti with diced onions and shredded cheddar cheese.

This is the whole purpose of Skyline Chili in Cincinnati (and the surrounding Tri-state area, and some cities in Florida, for some reason). Sorry, not weird.

I also put ketchup on scrambled eggs. My big brother taught me to do so when I was tiny, even tho no one else in the family does it.

I count lots of things. Stair steps as I'm going up or down, strokes of the razor as I shave my legs, etc.

I do a little seated happy dance when I'm super thrilled with food in restaurants. My husband thinks it's charming, so that's good.

I love all y'all but please, for the love of my sanity, stop taking off your shoes in public places. Please.
posted by cooker girl at 10:57 AM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

- will happily curl up in public armchairs with socked feet underneath me. Yep.
- set my alarm clock it's always to a weird number like 8:03, 9:21, 7:57. Yes.
- Dipping french fries in chocolate milkshake. You betcha.
- I kiss my dog on the lips. Always.
- exactly one bite of each left at the end. Is there some other way to eat?

I'm not sure what else I have to add. I like peanut butter and bacon sandiwches but I know others who also do. I think some of my horrifying habits are actually too horrifying to be googleable next to my name but I will tell you I am a nose picker and other people can die mad about it.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 11:09 AM on July 22, 2018 [9 favorites]

start reading thread, quickly realize I'm horrified by everybody else's WRONGness. my habits define the norm. that's my story and I'm sticking to it
posted by philip-random at 11:16 AM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

I pull USB drives, external hard drives, Compact Flash cards, etc. without first "ejecting" them. Je suis un monstre.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:31 AM on July 22, 2018 [9 favorites]

I love all y'all but please, for the love of my sanity, stop taking off your shoes in public places. Please.

Don't be looking at my feet—it makes me really uncomfortable when I'm just minding my own business and then I notice someone sneaking peaks (or just blatantly staring, for crying out loud) at my feet.
posted by she's not there at 12:07 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Happy birthday coppermoss!
posted by ellieBOA at 12:12 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I think the people staring unblinkingly at feet probably have a different opinion of them from the people horrified by those of us with the temerity to allow our feet to touch things in public

or maybe not, IDK
posted by sciatrix at 12:14 PM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

I don’t look at other people’s feet unless those feet make themselves publicly known, which, sadly, does not always involve shoes. There’s one person from college that I remember for her habit of taking her leather shoes off in a 20-foot-square windowless classroom. I’m not even sure which exact subject it was, but that memory is ingrained.
posted by Countess Elena at 12:14 PM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

Whenever I make salsa, there's always just that bit left over.
I crunch up tortilla chips and sprinkle them in that salsa remnant and eat it like bastardized gazpacho out of a bowl.

I also snarl grow grow grow at my plants whenever I water them
posted by lineofsight at 12:15 PM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

Didn't mean to be accusing cooker girl of rude behavior—I assume that like most Mefites, she's polite and proper in public. My comment was a knee-jerk response, based on the behavior of others.
posted by she's not there at 12:23 PM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

start reading thread, quickly realize I'm horrified by everybody else's WRONGness. my habits define the nor
-posted by philip-random at 2:16 PM on July 22.

I go into certain things as assuming I'm wrong, I believe 'norm' is something in flux for like 49.4 years. But I do the oddest thing with this sort of meta'. I simply read the first 6, then start reading from the bottom up. So I got to Alice's fries to browns. I see this but who's fries, this is key. Boiled peeled taters, cool to allow starching. Place them in a real fine mixer with dicer attachment, fry with choice of oil, season to taste.

Still working on my yogurt pancake. The trick is re-freezing and NO2 is expensive.
posted by clavdivs at 12:58 PM on July 22, 2018

Yeah, I'm not looking at your feet unless you are unshod in public situations that don't usually find one unshod. If you're at the pool or the beach or the spa or even a public park, take them shoes off! Let those little piggies free! In a restaurant, a library, a bookstore, a plane, a presentation for your kid's college orientation (ask me how I know), please, please, PLEASE keep your shoes on.
posted by cooker girl at 1:01 PM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

And yes, avocados. At least two a day. They're just full of super-good-guy fat. And I don't cook with olive oil, or even use it for anything -- avocado oil for the win. Olive oil, even the finest, always has a bite in the back of my mouth, right where it hits the throat. Not avocado oil -- smooth as silk. Great to cook with, great on salads, blah blah blah. It's great, is all. If you've not tried it you're really going to want to give it a spin.

And yes, Happy Birthday coppermoss!
posted by dancestoblue at 1:10 PM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

dancestoblue, that sounds great! Totally going to try avocado oil.
posted by cooker girl at 1:11 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I like my hot dogs plain with just ketchup."

Mass Chicago fainting.

Raises hand as another ketchup only on dog, but I have grown, expanded my horizons so incredibly far and will also have a dog with sauerkraut, but definitely one or the other, can not image mixing.
posted by sammyo at 1:19 PM on July 22, 2018

-My favorite sweet treat is fruit jam right out of the jar, sometimes half a jar at a time.
-A favorite quick salty snack is grilled cheese. No, not the sandwich. I fry chunks of whatever type of cheese we have in a nonstick skillet until it turns into a sort of umami-licious cheese cracker.
-I sleep with four pillows. One under my head, one between my knees, and one on either side of me, hemming me in like a toddler that might roll of the bed.
-I frequently draw a full page smiling hot dog doodle in the pages of my coworkers unsecured notebooks.

Finally...
-I get up at the same pre dawn hour every day of the week. Yep, even on the weekend. So weird.
posted by mumblelard at 1:45 PM on July 22, 2018

I see this but who's fries, this is key.
They have to be fairly substantial, like steak fries or crinkle cuts. Shoestrings or McDonalds size fries don't work at all. Five Guys is the place where I always have enough fries left over to bring home, because they fill up the whole darn bag.
posted by Daily Alice at 1:50 PM on July 22, 2018

I play the harpsichord. Professionally. I think this qualifies.
posted by Namlit at 1:56 PM on July 22, 2018 [7 favorites]

I knew I had one! I sleep in a knit hat 12 months of the year.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 2:06 PM on July 22, 2018 [6 favorites]

I sleep in a knit hat 12 months of the year.

Yeah, well you wouldn't in South Florida. It's bad enough sleeping under a cat on your head.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 2:58 PM on July 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

My favorite snack is a banana with a slice of American cheese wrapped around it. I saw it on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood when I was about 4 years old and I've loved it ever since. If Mr. Rogers says it's ok to do, it's ok, which is a pretty good philosophy for life in general.
posted by katyggls at 3:13 PM on July 22, 2018 [6 favorites]

I get unreasonably irritated when people leave power points switched on with nothing plugged into them and have to turn them off. I think it's because of the little orange bits. For those who don't have switches on their power points, here's a photo.

For food: cheese and apricot jam sandwiches.
posted by Kris10_b at 4:22 PM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

I sit down when I take a shower in the mornings before work...

I, too, have been sitting for showers lately- and what’s really made it nice is when I pull in the plastic IKEA stool and sit on that instead of the shower floor. LUXURY...

Also, sitting for showers is the bomb...

Spin back fourty years here in the UK, and there was a TV series called Butterflies. It was a sitcom, but scripted by Carla Lane so it was somewhat counter and subversive for the time. Basically about a housewife (Ria) stuck in a dull marriage, and with two sons (Adam and Russell) who aimlessly wandered through life. She dreams of a better life and ends up having a sort-of relationship with someone else.

From this comment (I remember it slightly differently with the dad getting annoyed, but will go with this) one scene played out thus:

(Ria comes into kitchen where dad and sons are eating breakfast)
Ria (bewildered): Who left a chair in the shower?
Adam (through a mouthful of cereal): Oh yeah. That was me.
Ria: Why??
Adam: It just seemed too long a time to be standing up.

A big national laugh at that, but more than a few people - myself included - thought "...uh, that's actually a good idea". And tried it. And caused family arguments.

I still think it's a great idea, and every shower unit should have a fold out chair (and other furniture and appliances that you can use while showering e.g. a fold out table with a cheese drawer, and another drawer for a knife, plate and digestive biscuits).
posted by Wordshore at 5:00 PM on July 22, 2018 [9 favorites]

Dipping french fries in chocolate milkshake.

Im gonna have to disagree and say this belongs in the SO RIGHT! Meta thread.
posted by nikaspark at 5:06 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

You know that restaurant-style salsa that’s blended and nearly homogeneous and liquidy? I used to eat it for dinner once a month. I’ve even just drank it. It’s freaking delicious.

I add soy sauce to lots of things, but especially baked potatoes with butter and cheese.

I like room temp water, Diet Coke, and v-8
posted by Night_owl at 5:10 PM on July 22, 2018

Potato salad with one or more of the following:

Croutons
Bacon bits
Crushed potato chips
Crushed Ritz crackers
Cole slaw

Sometimes I'll want a hotdog, but I have no hotdogs. So I make a hotdog bun with all the fixin's. It's a holdover from when I was a vegetarian and I craved a hotdog.

Spicy mustard on baked beans.

Lately baked beans on toast for breakfast. A shout out to my friends across the pond for the suggestion.

Ketchup on rice. The SO refuses to be in the same room when I eat it. Weird eh?

Pizza with crushed potato chips and hot sauce.
posted by Splunge at 5:10 PM on July 22, 2018

Whoops, the last part got eaten.

But I like ice cold beer, milk, and other sodas. But I do NOT want ice in my drinks.
posted by Night_owl at 5:12 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Know what I'm having a sudden hankering for? Banana-flavored candy. Laffy Taffy, Runts, Now and Laters... mmmm banana candy. Fake-ass banana taste. Yum.
posted by duffell at 5:24 PM on July 22, 2018

I like to eat things frozen... vegetables especially. Peas, beans, french fries right out of the freezer... And I cannot stand store bought mayonnaise and things made with it, the yellow paint style mustard, and anything made with dill. I will go to great lengths to avoid them. Great lengths.
posted by Ashwagandha at 5:28 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

MyGuy eats "rollup" snacks:
slice of pickle
slice of ham
slice of cheese
1 or 2 green beans
wrapped up in a slice of salami
and decorated with Asian sweet hot chili sauce
posted by Jesse the K at 5:32 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Greetings from grown-up summer camp, aka “folk school,” where I am staying for five days and learning how to spin yarn. On the upside, it’s beautiful, my teacher seems awesome, plus it’s grown-up summer camp! On the downside, it’s not totally introvert-friendly, and there is strongly-encouraged folk singing, which is Not Going to Happen. (I’m also not so keen on the folk dancing.) Also, this is the whitest group of people I have ever been a part of, and I live in Iowa. There are about 125 campers here this week, and I counted two people of color, one of whom is teaching the Indian cooking class. So that’s a little weird, but I’m excited about spinning yarn. I’m going to try to stay away from the internet, which is going to be harder than expected, because it turns out that a lot of the buildings have wi-fi.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:37 PM on July 22, 2018 [7 favorites]

You know, I was thinking today about the idea that all possible universes actually exist, and I don't buy it. There's a universe exactly like ours, except Tony Soprano was named Mortimer Soprano. IT EXISTS! There's a universe where The Sopranos was exactly like in ours, except the music at the finale was "Tonight We're On The Loose" by Saga. FIT IT IN! And so on. Now multiply all those differences times everything else that could logically be different - McDonalds is called "Fuck All Of Y'All Burgers", people pour ammonia all over the quarterback to celebrate winning a football game, etc. It just doesn't make sense.
posted by thelonius at 5:41 PM on July 22, 2018 [7 favorites]

I once was making a recipe called Root Vegetable Medley, which was composed principally of, IIRC, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, and yams. The potatoes and carrots I diced and tossed in: it turned out we were out of parsnips, and the yams were a little past their prime, so I went with just the two ingredients.

What I wound up with was essentially hash browns with carrots. Which it turns out are amazing.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:45 PM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

Night_owl, you know about gazpacho, right? It’s basically salsa for drinkin’.
posted by blnkfrnk at 5:45 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Ashwagandha, I agree frozen peas are the best! I've not tried beans though, will give that a go.

My parents gave them to us as snacks when I was a kid. I remember daring my sister to put one up her nose and it getting stuck. Luckily, it came out with a decent blow once it had defrosted a bit.
posted by Kris10_b at 6:13 PM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

blnkfrnk, I guess I always thought gazpacho was cucumber-based and not spicy? Also, this has to be a clandestine sometimes food, as my husband thinks I’m weird when I do it.
posted by Night_owl at 6:23 PM on July 22, 2018

Not a weird combination, because it’s the classic form, but weird because so few people eat it any more and I’m going to mention it here because I’ve been evangelical about it: Limburger sandwich (Limburger on black bread, with raw onion and fuck-you-I’m-strong mustard and/or horseradish). Best had with a hearty stout.
posted by aramaic at 6:38 PM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

Aw man, fake banana is so much better than regular banana though!

Best flavor.
posted by sciatrix at 7:48 PM on July 22, 2018

Cold cucumber soup is also a thing but gazpacho is distinct and can be spicy. You can drink it in secret all you wish, but I urge you not to hide your light under a bushel. Vichysoisse is the only bizarre cold soup out there, it’s always tasted wrong to me for those specific things to be liquid and cold.
posted by blnkfrnk at 7:54 PM on July 22, 2018

Spaghetti with chili is one of my favorite meals for when I'm tired and need something easy. Skyline/ Cincinnati-Style Chili is a specific flavor of chili that I like but don't make, so any chili will do. I can't have the cheese, and don't bother with the chopped onion.
Ketchup on scrambled eggs is really good; salsa is much better.
Once in a while, I will have bread with Worcestershire sauce; my Dad used to do that. weird but good.
Polenta with pepperoni and green olives.
I don't like my beer too cold. July means it goes in the fridge, but I have to let it get less cold to drink it.
posted by theora55 at 8:33 PM on July 22, 2018

I'd mostly rather not wear shoes, and I have to wear shoes that are very flexible. A few years ago I was cleaning up litter and stepped on the rusty nail sticking out of a board, went right through my Tevas into my foot. Called the doctor thinking I could just wash it well, instead drove to Urgent Care for a tetanus shot. It was so classic. Also, had to bellow for help to get the board detached from my foot.

Today was rainy, then turned into thick fog, which I love.
posted by theora55 at 8:42 PM on July 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I like eating butter as a snack, which seems to be relatively common. But on top of that, the smell of melting butter induces a kind of pheromone-y high in me that makes me hover above the saucepan with closed eyes like I‘m some depraved glue-huffing addict. Yeah, basically a butter fetish.
Hurf, durf, sue me!
posted by The Toad at 8:57 PM on July 22, 2018 [5 favorites]

I've recently taken to pickles with peanut butter. Pretty sure I actually got that from here. Anyway, pickles with peanut butter is great, but pickles with peanut butter and cheese is next-level.
posted by turbid dahlia at 9:13 PM on July 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

I've been told that my love of pepper on watermelon is wrong

I started reading thinking I don't really have anything like this, but this reminded me:

Citric acid on watermelon. Try it.
posted by aubilenon at 9:52 PM on July 22, 2018

In college I made myself a drink that was part cheap vodka, part Rumple Minz, and part red Gatorade. It. was. awesome.

I like to eat really slow. A few weeks ago I took myself on a me-date on a Saturday night. I went to a downtown restaurant and sat at the bar. I spent three delightful hours eating a medium rare steak, a big salad and drinking several Pfriem pilsners and reading the internet. This happened too.

Beer and cookies.

I firmly believe that salad should be eaten with the hands with dressing on the side for dipping.

Antipasti is meant to be eaten with chopsticks.
posted by bendy at 11:26 PM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

Just remembered that my late, great father-in-law introduced me to slathering marmalade on top of open-faced cheese sandwiches. (Because I am a savage, I prefer lingonberry preserves.) Also, I really like smashing Vasa hard bread into crumbs and adding it to vanilla ice cream. The non-sweet crunch of the bread with the smooth, soft (soft is good in this case) taste of the ice cream is delightful. My kid taught me to add slices of banana to the top cheese pizza before baking the pizza. Although after is okay as well. Banana and cheese together on a pizza crust or in a sandwich are super tasty. I have seen people shudder when I have suggested it, so some people must think it is wrong. They are misinformed.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:37 AM on July 23, 2018 [3 favorites]

I just realized there's a typo in my previous comment that really changes the recipe. I said to add a hand full of diced french fries. I meant to write a handful of french fries. Please do not dice a human hand holding french fries and add it to the hash. We regret the error.
posted by Stanczyk at 3:20 AM on July 23, 2018 [3 favorites]

This thread evokes only two emotions for me.

:D

and

D:
posted by like_neon at 3:42 AM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

The cheese + jam thing seems to be very much in the spirit of Branston pickle or cheese + chutney.

Also, I really like smashing Vasa hard bread into crumbs and adding it to vanilla ice cream.

That sounds really good.
posted by hoyland at 4:13 AM on July 23, 2018 [2 favorites]

Oh dear, I probably shouldn't admit this, but I have this terrible weakness for salt and vinegar crisps - only I don't eat them. I lick all the flavouring off and throw the crisps away. I only do this in my own home where nobody can observe my shame.

Sometimes I dip mini-cheddars in my coffee.

There is nothing weird with beans on toast or cheese with peas though! Both normal foods in my house. Now, baked beans on pizza, that raises some eyebrows, but folks are generally on board once they try it (only worth attempting with frozen deep-crust pizza. Proper technique is to cook the pizza, add beans, add cheddar on top and then grill to cook the extra cheese. Thanks grandma!)
posted by stillnocturnal at 5:40 AM on July 23, 2018 [4 favorites]

I lick all the flavouring off and throw the crisps away. I only do this in my own home where nobody can observe my shame.

Love it. I only eat the outsides of onion rings. Sometimes even in public.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 5:51 AM on July 23, 2018 [4 favorites]

When I was in high school, I'd eat sour cream & onion potato chips with cream cheese for lunch. Only at school, where I could get the wavy chips and a squeezy package of cream cheese.
posted by cooker girl at 5:52 AM on July 23, 2018

I live in a bleeding liberal area, where sometimes people say "whaddya mean, people can't afford to shop at Whole Foods?". This seems to go hand-in-hand with being pretentious foodies; eating textured food from another culture, the farther away the better, is an incredibly cool thing to do. I must have inherited the lower-class parts of my family, or something, because I eat Frosted Flakes for breakfast almost every day, and hamburgers and french fries is my favorite meal. I was once caught buying a candy bar and Slim Jim after church, and I could see their brain exploding because how can such a cool person actually eat PRESERVATIVES? Lettuce is for rabbits; I go to McDonald's about once every couple of months, sometimes more when I need/want a lot of salt from their french fries (I have slightly low blood pressure and LOVE salt, mmmm, Loquacious and I should have a pickle party some time).

Other than that? Well, my fabric stash is up to about 20 projects now. I think I have fabric for about eleven coats, even though I only need one or two. (Ok, so one's a cool patent leather, sue me.)

I LOVE country music, again in my circles this could be a graver sin than eating Slim Jims. I never tell this to anyone that I know. I loved ABBA as a kid, in 1980, in the U.S., when that was about the most uncool thing to listen to. BWA HA HA, I am vindicated now.

I'm 49, and my room still looks the same way as it did when I was 15 (i.e., almost impossible to walk through).

I've been repurchasing all my favorite childhood and YA books; they are a large part of my bookcase. Again the snooty people would be shocked to know that it's actually NOT full of poetry and Hemingway. (Actually I like biographies and nonfiction, so fortunately after their initial shock [since they have the attention span of a turnip] they'd be like oh cool, that's a neat analysis of Stalin!) Every day during dinner (a Subway sub or steak with Rice-a-Roni or takeout from the old-school Italian place) I'll read a Judy Blume book or Ron Luciano or Betty Miles.

Gee, think I'm a little sensitive about the people around me?? Sorry about that.
posted by Melismata at 6:15 AM on July 23, 2018 [9 favorites]

Strawberry jam and cheddar cheese sandwiches.

So fucking good.

Also, salt and vinegar chips. If you aren't pulling the little pink shreds off the roof of your mouth, have you really lived, really?
posted by E. Whitehall at 7:09 AM on July 23, 2018 [5 favorites]

I eat a lot of raw honey off of random implements relative to most people, but I'm a beekeeper so, it makes sense. Also, when I'm feeling really crappy, I keep a bag of potato flakes in the back of my closet to make "mashed potatoes". They are totally a comfort food for me. I don't think anything else I eat is all that weird.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:34 AM on July 23, 2018 [3 favorites]

Is your shower luxuriously large, or are you charmingly compact (or both)?

The shower is above a claw-footed tub, so I'm going with luxuriously large. I am not small. It's like being in the bath, with enough of your body stretched out as you can, and your torso and head leaning on the bath pillow at the end of the tub, except that the shower is running while in that position.
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:10 AM on July 23, 2018 [3 favorites]

Loquacious and I should have a pickle party some time.

Argh, did Melismata just pickle-summon me at 6 in the frickin morning, but without the pickles?

Come on now, that's not fair. I was asleep, and now I'm not and there are no pickles!
posted by loquacious at 8:36 AM on July 23, 2018 [3 favorites]

I am so delighted to see other jam and cheese or banana and cheese fans here, and will try banana on cheese pizza as soon as I can manage it. As a kid I went one farther - Cheez Whiz with strawberry jam on toast.

My sister and I are descended from a long line of women who pick things up with our toes and who can also inflict a savage pinch with them as well. Our husbands have to stay alert.

I would rather be barefoot most of the time, but instead wear a pair of Crocs flip flops (they are more structured than the regular rubber thong types) far too often. I have a stash of more grownup shoes at work just in case I need them, but I work in a secured basement area so most of the time I'm only seen by coworkers who don't care. I have very wide feet (and I think they may be getting wider because a few months ago I tried on a pair of Birkenstocks that I owned as a teenager and my feet sloshed out the sides) so finding shoes that fit, don't tear up my feet, and look good is terribly difficult. I have discovered the fun of getting pedicures, so at least my feet are reasonably cared for.
posted by PussKillian at 9:26 AM on July 23, 2018 [5 favorites]

A roasted turkey sandwich on Texas Toast, dipped neatly into applesauce remains one of my favorite unexpected food combos. Roasted pork might make it better, but I don't know... and dang, I want one right now.

My father maintains that my favorite childhood snack -- chocolate pudding with fresh strawberry sauce and chunks of strawberries looked disgusting, but it tasted delicious and I swear he was just being overly sensitive.
posted by PearlRose at 9:56 AM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

As a kid, I'd open a box of jello mix, pour about half of the powder into a tea cup, add cold water, a little at a time, and mix it into a thick slurry. It was beautiful, like metallic fruit colored paint, and it tasted wonderful!

I also liked butter sandwiches with a hefty sprinkle of brown sugar. Best with the homemade butter my dad's Aunt Lula used to make.

As a grown up, drinking beer and eating salt and vinegar potato chips make me very happy.
posted by LaBellaStella at 10:51 AM on July 23, 2018 [2 favorites]

When I'm making waffles, I toss a big handful of shredded cheddar cheese on top of the batter before closing the wafflemaker. It turns into a golden cheesy crust which is especially tasty when topped with honey and butter.

My feet are very sensitive to texture and I loathe going barefoot. (The only time my feet are bare are when I'm sleeping or in the shower.) It is 80 degrees today and I'm currently wearing wool socks and crocs. The idea of going barefoot outside makes my skin crawl.
posted by belladonna at 10:56 AM on July 23, 2018 [5 favorites]

When I'm making waffles, I toss a big handful of shredded cheddar cheese on top of the batter before closing the wafflemaker. It turns into a golden cheesy crust which is especially tasty when topped with honey and butter.

Add a couple fried chicken tenders and a drizzle of hot sauce, and you have my favorite brunch meal ever.
posted by PearlRose at 11:10 AM on July 23, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'll just take those fried chicken tenders and hot sauce and it's my favorite any meal. But I should try making cheesy waffles soon - I always forget I have a waffle maker in the closet.
posted by moonmilk at 11:21 AM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

I horrify t’hb because I will drink the pickle juice when I’ve finished a jar. Out of a cup though, I’m not an animal. ;)

We have had an offer accepted on a house. This is not at all terrifying and I am just waiting for the bit when actual adults realise they are dealing with three cats in a trench coat and take the house away because who lends large sums of money to three cats in a trench coat?
posted by halcyonday at 11:38 AM on July 23, 2018 [11 favorites]

Kimchi on Kraft Dinner. My family is horrified and makes me sit at the other end of the table while I eat my "fart noodles" as the children call them. I don't care. It's delicious.
posted by arcticwoman at 11:58 AM on July 23, 2018 [6 favorites]

Until I got caught doing it by my wife, I drank maple syrup straight from the bottle. Now I pour it into a shot glass first. I also like to eat many meals with different components by mixing them together into what most of the rest of my family (which thinks it's disgusting) calls a "slurry" or "glop." The traditional Tanksgiving dinner of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, veggies, etc.. would be the most prominent example, but I'll do it with almost anything containing what I consider to be complementary flavours.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:30 PM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

I slice tomatoes in half, sprinkle salt on the cut, and eat whole.

Also, I love circus peanuts and French burnt peanuts, although not at the same time.
posted by hanov3r at 12:35 PM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

Sign me up as another member of the ketchup on a hot dog club. (plus a sprinkle of chopped onion for some crunch, but that is it.) Doubly sinful because I am from the Chicago area.

I don't think I have any other weird food habits. Butter and jam on toast? that's pretty pedestrian, though. I don't like my food touching on my plate, unless it's intentional. Plates with little dividers are so handy, but the proportions are always wrong.

As far as bad habits go.... if there is a bowl of something wrapped (like candies, or whatnot) I'll put the empty wrapper back in the bowl. I infuriated my friend's mom for years when I was a kid. I've grown up enough not to do this in public, but I still do this at home. It just makes sense! When the bowl is full of empty wrappers, throw them all out at one time, and refill the bowl with candy. Efficiency!
posted by Fig at 1:48 PM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

When I was young I would put graham crackers with butter and sugar in the microwave for about 30 seconds. There is a point where the butter turns a little brown and they are best right before it turns black. I don't really eat graham crackers anymore, but next time we have them in the house, I might add cinnamon and try it again.

I just had deep fried peanuts last week. They were garlic salt flavored and they were good but over seasoned. I was away from home, so now I have to find a local source or order online.
posted by soelo at 2:44 PM on July 23, 2018

Can anyone remember the Jello mix that turned into a parfait and was later discontinued? You mixed it and put it in the refrigerator and it magically transformed into a 3-layer dessert. It came out when I was in high school. That plus frozen breaded shrimp made up the pinnacle of haute cuisine for me in high school.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:48 PM on July 23, 2018 [5 favorites]

Can anyone remember the Jello mix that turned into a parfait and was later discontinued?

I remember that stuff! We had a Jello cookbook that had some recipes specifically for that type, and it made me feel very fancy to add gingerale to three-layer-jello and make... I don't even know. Fizzy parfait?

I wonder if my mom still has that cookbook....
posted by arcticwoman at 2:53 PM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

It was called Jello 1 2 3!
posted by soelo at 3:31 PM on July 23, 2018 [6 favorites]

Thank you so much soelo! It was called Jello 1 2 3! See, you didn't need a recipe for the parfait because it made a parfait magically. Thanks to soelo, I found an article about it. Apparently it was introduced in 1969 and used hyphens in its name, Jello 1-2-3. (Note, because I am in Europe, I had to use the cached version of the article. Apologies if it doesn't work for you. A search on "Jello 1-2-3" should do the trick.)
posted by Bella Donna at 3:41 PM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

If the edges of my fried egg are not crispy and the yolk is not solid, then I define that friend egg as Not Done.

I live in the UK where this mostly appers to be a foreign concept.

I still maintain everyone else is WRONG.
posted by Faintdreams at 4:55 PM on July 23, 2018 [4 favorites]

We went to Ikea to buy weird nasty Swedish candy (lördagsgodis = Saturday Goodies!) and we saw DOG BOB ROSS
posted by moonmilk at 5:18 PM on July 23, 2018 [7 favorites]

Sometimes I have a hot dog with no ketchup. Depends on what the sausage tastes like ... from past experience.
posted by redrawturtle at 7:39 PM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

Blackberry jam on a sausage biscuit.
I love going barefoot, but I have had arthritis since I was six, which means my immune system is weak. I went barefoot in the shared shower in college and got nail fungus. So it's monthly pedicures for me in sandal weather. I HATE fungus.
My arthritis means I can't take a bath because I can't get up out of the tub without calling 911. I so long to take hot baths, but it ain't happening.
I'm starting paralegal school next month. I want to move out of a 25 year career in libraries and into something related, but different.
posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 8:18 PM on July 23, 2018 [2 favorites]

Wordshore is on vacation.
posted by Wordshore at 8:22 PM on July 23, 2018 [8 favorites]

I once made a cocktail with Ardbeg 10yo single malt.

it was good
posted by Hairy Lobster at 8:38 PM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

I still maintain everyone else is WRONG.

"Whatever it is, I'm against it!"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:10 AM on July 24, 2018 [1 favorite]

Fried eggs with liquid yolks are an abomination. I'm with you, Faint Dreams.
posted by E. Whitehall at 2:31 AM on July 24, 2018 [3 favorites]

Wordshore is on vacation.

Oh Good God.
posted by biffa at 3:51 AM on July 24, 2018 [6 favorites]

Hot sauce (Tabasco) in my beer.
Butter and sugar on bread.
Raw pasta
posted by AugustWest at 6:10 AM on July 24, 2018 [1 favorite]

Man, I have some pretty boring tastes compared to you lot. The weirdest combo that I can think of that I really like to treat myself with is spaghetti with kimchi but that seems rather predictable in this room.
posted by like_neon at 6:37 AM on July 24, 2018

Cinnamon fruit toast with butter and Vegemite. Salty-sweet perfection.
posted by brushtailedphascogale at 7:02 AM on July 24, 2018

I just realized that I'm barefoot at my desk, and I like not wearing shoes at work. Maybe that's a weird thing? Not walking around in public areas, just at my desk/in my office. I'd go barefoot at home more but I have a herd of critters, so there's lots of dust, fur, and grit around no matter how often I clean.
posted by Fig at 7:04 AM on July 24, 2018 [2 favorites]

Mushy peas are a feature? An attraction? Oh vacationing Wordshore, can that possibly be true?
posted by Bella Donna at 8:14 AM on July 24, 2018 [2 favorites]

I start my new job next Wednesday!
posted by elsietheeel at 8:56 AM on July 24, 2018 [9 favorites]

Nah, Fig, I'm barefoot at work and almost no one comments on it anymore...
posted by Sophie1 at 9:04 AM on July 24, 2018 [2 favorites]

one of my most favourite askmes of all time was the guy who wanted to cut off the bottom of his shoes to be secretly barefoot at work
posted by poffin boffin at 9:18 AM on July 24, 2018 [12 favorites]

I know that Ms. nobeagle has reacted in horror to some things I've snacked on, but neither of us can remember particularly scary examples.

I know that mashed potatoes are multi purpose. Firstly, on their own, they should be made into a volcano. But I use sriracha sauce instead of gravy. I'll happily slather mashed potatoes, or stuffing, on top of chicken/turkey/ham. Additionally pretty much any small vegetable (peas, corn, "mixed vegetables mix") is awesome mixed in with the mashed potatoes. An awesome carby treat is mashed potato pizza (pizza crust, with mashed potatoes spread as a uniform layer on top instead of cheese. Well, there's cheese (and bacon and chives and ...) mixed in with the mashed potatoes).

I have come to believe that a burger is a little bit sad if it doesn't have a fried egg in it. Ideally sunny side up rather than over easy so you get the awesome runny yolky goodness.

I like bread topped with cottage cheese topped with salsa as an open faced sandwich. And no, you can't eat it with a fork - it must be picked up.

---

During my college years (in California) I was fairly vigilant about my barefooting. I carried a letter from the California Deppartment of health (might not be the exact name) that said there was no regulation dictating customers must wear shoes in restaurants/businesses. Sometimes if I were confronted and I whiped that out the staff would just back down. Othertimes they'd just flip back to "Well, it's our policy none the less." and I was more likely to leave than toss on my emergency flip flips that I'd have in my backpack. I never had a problem at school, but that was more the culture of that school. I've since gotten lazy on fighting/confronting over crap like that, but ideally I'd be barefoot 90%+ of my waking day.

Where I work, about half the developer immediately take their shoes off at their desk (I kick my flip flops off too. Oh, I wear the flip flops all year and live in Southern Ontario). Usually if we're leaving our desk we put shoes/flip flops back on, but it's not uncommon to be asked to come over to someone elses desk (stupid open work space), and people will just walk around sock-footed or barefoot and no one bats an eye.

Oddly I've since become a runner, and probably spend more on footwear in a year than I did during my life from age 18-36.
posted by nobeagle at 10:34 AM on July 24, 2018 [1 favorite]

My hysterectomy incision has been giving me issues, where issues means feeling like I’m being ripped apart from my navel, so I bought an abdominal binder, and great scott, where has this thing been for the past month? I feel like I can actually use the rest of my time off work relearning how to human instead of just suffering through the pain. My weird habit is being a shitty self-advocate. I got (rightfully) scolded for not asking for pain medication in the hospital because I thought the nurse was busy with a patient who needed help more. As it turned out, the nurse was just in the room still (across the hall) because she was doing administrative stuff on the computer in there and already taken care of the patient. I is dumb sometimes when it comes to my needs.
posted by Ruki at 11:44 AM on July 24, 2018 [4 favorites]

We went to Ikea to buy weird nasty Swedish candy (lördagsgodis = Saturday Goodies!) and we saw DOG BOB ROSS
posted by moonmilk

I bet he has happy accidents all the time.
posted by Splunge at 2:18 PM on July 24, 2018 [7 favorites]

Yeah, I went in sock feet in my office and to my boss's around the corner, but slipped shoes back on for further ventures. If I was staying late and nobody else was in the wing, I'd sock foot it to the bathroom, too. It felt so luxurious and naughty!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:00 PM on July 24, 2018 [2 favorites]

I also bought weird nasty Swedish candy at IKEA. Never buy from the pick and mix without sampling first.
posted by elsietheeel at 3:14 PM on July 24, 2018 [1 favorite]

If you want to get rid of some salty licorice, just send it my way. om nom nom!
posted by aubilenon at 4:04 PM on July 24, 2018 [3 favorites]

Sorry, I've got rhubarb and custard sticks, which taste neither like rhubarb nor custard NOR the British boiled sweet I hoped they'd might resemble at least a little, and the worst gummy cola bottles I've ever eaten in my 41 years on Earth.

As for my weird food habits, I consider sour cream the greatest condiment.
posted by elsietheeel at 4:13 PM on July 24, 2018 [2 favorites]

Okay, please don't send those (or sour cream) my way. Thanks!
posted by aubilenon at 4:21 PM on July 24, 2018 [1 favorite]

Wow y'all eat some weird stuff. I tried a liverwurst and PB&J once when I was a kid. It was horrible. I do like maple syrup on scrambled eggs. When I was in bowling leagues I would have peanut M&Ms with my beers as dinner.

Other than that I got nothin.
posted by yoga at 6:35 PM on July 24, 2018

elsietheeel - I love those rhubarb custard cylinders! They were the least gross of my lördagsgodis and I want more. The rubbery letters of the alphabet in unidentifiable flavors weren't too bad either.

The worst by far was the fizzy sour bubblegum-flavored tape. I'll normally eat even the worst candy just because I love sugar, but I threw that away!
posted by moonmilk at 6:44 PM on July 24, 2018 [1 favorite]

Now, when I put strings on a guitar, I just throw the high E away.

I think there’s a really famous guitarist who does that, but I can remember who offhand.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 8:26 PM on July 24, 2018

Oh, and I like to brine wings in leftover sauerkraut juice. It's way way better than pickle juice (though pickle juice is good too). Sauerkraut juice makes an amazing gravy as well, just tip it in the pan after you're done frying up whatever, scrape up the fond...amazing!

My go-to no-money food used to be mayonnaise and Tabasco sandwiches. I haven't had one for a while since I'm now doing keto (again), but, mmm-mmm.
posted by turbid dahlia at 9:40 PM on July 24, 2018

Congrats, elsietheeel!!

So, what's the general consensus on "too many berries" per day?

I'm asking for a friend. Is, uh, about three or four quarts too much? I, er, someone I know has mashed through most of what appeared to be a nearly full gallon ziplock bag, shows no sign of slowing down and they may be turning purple.

I'm worried they might do the same tomorrow. It barely took 20 minutes to gather that many.

Also, yesterday and today I found THIMBLEBERRIES which I've never been able to find in the wild ready to eat before. Thimbleberries taste like you mixed a strawberry and raspberry with a banana or sweet plantain. Very sweet and delicate but earthy, too.

My friend was pondering if berries were different religions, then Thimbleberries would be Buddhism because you have to be here, now to find them and actually get to eat them.

Today I figured out how to combine a really long bike ride with work related training, which was nice because that means I show up to the training labs all hopped up on endorphins, then home is a lazy bus/bike combo ride with berries and sunsets.

Not that it's actually a competition, but one of my team's metrics today was less than 1/4th the time of everyone else's and that had everything to do with the unorthodox practice process we came up with, and we had the highest accuracy and throughput.
posted by loquacious at 11:08 PM on July 24, 2018 [3 favorites]

This is totally unrelated to the topic, but I caught myself making a false memory today. I vividly recalled Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park saying "What the hell was that?" as he was driving the Jeep, but after a few minutes I realized that it was actually Newman in Seinfeld driving the delivery van. It was still Wayne Knight saying the line and driving somewhere, but the connection to Seinfeld must have weakened to the point that those factors called Jurassic Park more strongly to mind. It's funny how we make memories out of the components that seem the most plausible to us, even if we never experienced them all at once.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 2:20 AM on July 25, 2018

I noticed this morning that East Fife were playing Forfar in the Scottish League Cup. It finished 1:1. However, since its the league cup and there is no time in the calendar for replays they decided it on penalties. It finished 5:4. It's East Fife five, Forfar four.

Somewhere Eric Morecambe rejoices.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:57 AM on July 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

But I do know it’s weird to pick stuff up with my feet.

I was in a comic con panel this week and two of the panelists said that they do this. You are in good company.
posted by greermahoney at 9:31 AM on July 25, 2018 [4 favorites]

help, i ate too many berries.
posted by loquacious at 10:25 AM on July 25, 2018 [4 favorites]

help, i ate too many berries.

You're just going to have to ride this out. It's gonna be okay. We're here with you.
posted by aubilenon at 11:08 AM on July 25, 2018 [5 favorites]

But I do know it’s weird to pick stuff up with my feet.

that's okay, I do it too! toes are humanity's underappreciated appendages.
posted by sciatrix at 11:41 AM on July 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

Brie on chocolate chip cookies.
posted by Kafkaesque at 11:50 AM on July 25, 2018 [4 favorites]

You're just going to have to ride this out. It's gonna be okay. We're here with you.

yeah? i think i may have turned into a juicer, ugh.
posted by loquacious at 1:36 PM on July 25, 2018 [2 favorites]

If my meal includes fries and the place has barbecue sauce, I will dip the fries into the barbecue sauce instead of ketchup.

I haven't thought of this in a really long time -- as a kid I used to eat saltines with strawberry Yoplait yogurt. I have no memory of how I got the idea, because I don't think anybody in my family did this. Maybe I just got hungry and looked in the kitchen cabinet and the fridge and that was that. For whatever reason, I preferred strawberry with the saltines, rather than other flavors.

I'm now thinking of a related conversation I had at school once. Apparently I brought this snack with me to school one day (which is odd in retrospect -- I don't remember this being a regular thing except for this one time). A kid curiously watched me dipping the saltines into the yogurt, and asked "Is that good?" to which I said "Yes!" and I think I let them try it. I don't recall what the verdict was.

> When I was learning to play the guitar, my high E string kept breaking

I started learning with a hand-me-down guitar that only had five strings -- the high E was missing. The strings were old and the guitar buzzed when played (maybe a loose brace inside) but I just left it that way. I was a kid then too, and it didn't really bother me as much in the beginning since I was just starting. Since the word "guitar" has six letters and the instrument usually has six strings, I told people I was learning the "uitar" instead. (I did put on a new set of strings much later to use as a regular guitar, but it still buzzes... one day I should look into fixing it.)
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 7:27 PM on July 25, 2018

My first guitar was a used buzzer, too!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:40 PM on July 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

Well, it's come to this.

I just got home and I'm drunk, tired and hungry, and I mashed a slab of organic tofu between two slices of Dave's Killer Bread with double handfuls of rather wildly mixed greens (including dandelion and, uh, nettle?) and washed it down with a *heavy sigh* La Croix.

please send bacon and pickles
posted by loquacious at 1:18 AM on July 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Pickle post could be misinterpreted.
posted by arcticseal at 5:30 AM on July 26, 2018

For those of you who sit in the shower, I can beat that.

I've started reading in the shower, of late. Novels. It started one night when I really needed to shower before bed but my book was at a really good part. Then it turned out I quite liked it, so I've been doing it each time I shower.

My kobo is waterproof, though an error appears if there are water droplets on the screen, so I keep a little towel to wipe down the screen if it gets water splashed on it.

I feel a little bad about this from an environmental point of view, but I figure I'm probably still actually using less water than if I had a filled the tub and taken a bath. The best bet environmentally would surely be to go read downstairs in the hot tub (which I really enjoy and would love to do), but I can't just leave the baby alone to go hot tub, even if he is sleeping. So reading in the shower it is.

Maybe I'll try sitting, but I don't think so. That's just weird.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:58 AM on July 26, 2018

There's nothing wrong or bad about it, but I like to make sandwiches out of plain white bread with plain yellow mustard slathered on, and a healthy layer of plain potato chips in the middle.
Plainly delicious.

Try it, you'll like it!
posted by mightshould at 12:16 PM on July 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Mustard?

Try it with Italian bread (sliced so crust is top and bottom) and Doritos. You'll like it even better!
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 12:23 PM on July 26, 2018

There's nothing wrong or bad about it, but I like to make sandwiches out of plain white bread with plain yellow mustard slathered on, and a healthy layer of plain potato chips in the middle.
Plainly delicious.

The ol' vegetarian baloney sandwich.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:36 PM on July 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

Oh, If only I had a penguin, I take my phone into the shower to read things that I've saved to Pocket! It'd never really occurred to me that it was weird before, honestly. Also, when I went to Ikea this week, I bought a stool to sit on in the shower, so I'm looking forward to testing that out later today.
posted by mishafletch at 11:13 PM on July 26, 2018 [4 favorites]

> my favorite snack for the last year has been cheesy peas

My son does a similar dish, but it's frozen edamame, heated in the microwave, with Parmesan. I think siracha is sometimes involved.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:13 PM on July 27, 2018

I like my hot dogs plain. Bun and dog. Especially the old fashioned foot long at Steak N Shake.

Lest you think I’m a total barbarian, I do also enjoy them with Dijon or spicy brown mustard, and chopped onions (the way I eat them at Costco). Ketchup is a no-no except on fast food hamburgers.

I also like peanut butter and dill pickles on toast, with bacon if possible but not required.
posted by lhauser at 9:28 PM on July 27, 2018

How much *ahem* appetite, would there be on Metafiter for a food and recipes sharing subsite? It could be called FareShare but that name is taken by a food charity.
posted by evil_esto at 2:16 AM on July 28, 2018 [2 favorites]

Surely a food subsite would be called MeFood.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 2:39 AM on July 28, 2018 [3 favorites]

MeFeeder?
posted by evil_esto at 3:02 AM on July 28, 2018

MeFite you for that last cookie.
posted by arcticseal at 3:25 AM on July 28, 2018

MetaWok?
posted by arcticseal at 3:25 AM on July 28, 2018

Well Woks are a bit cuisine-specific. I'm thinking broadly, not forming a tactic here. Free associating even.
posted by evil_esto at 4:06 AM on July 28, 2018

Apparently this has been discussed before, it's not a priority for the Mods, doesn't mean we can't craft it sneakily behind the scenes
https://metatalk.metafilter.com/24834/MetaFilter-revenue-update-holy-cow-yall
posted by evil_esto at 4:38 AM on July 28, 2018

MetaMunch
posted by Stanczyk at 7:43 AM on July 28, 2018

MetaMucil. High-fiber recipes encouraged.
posted by duffell at 7:45 AM on July 28, 2018

...on the regular.
posted by duffell at 7:45 AM on July 28, 2018

MetaFoodle
posted by jamjam at 11:39 AM on July 28, 2018

MetaMunch

I thought we weren't doing a dating site.
posted by Margalo Epps at 12:40 PM on July 28, 2018 [3 favorites]

I only stir pasta for the first 1-2 minutes after I put it in the boiiling water. Any packaging that says "stir occasionally" has, as far as I can tell, no idea what they're talking about.

Stir pasta for the first couple minutes and it won't stick to the bottom of the pan.
posted by aniola at 1:55 PM on July 28, 2018 [2 favorites]

Random microblog update before the new Sat post:

DJing again tonight at the last minute. HDD crashed last night after practice session and recording an unrelated chill out set just for fun.

Spent ALL NIGHT hacking at it between 2-3 hour naps. Scavenged spare HDD and managed to install Ubuntu+MIXXX and get everything working just a couple of hours ago.

I may not get to sleep till, uh, dawn tomorrow.

I'm developing quite a nice little scrapbook of flyers and gigs at this point.
posted by loquacious at 4:44 PM on July 28, 2018 [2 favorites]

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