rolling in the deep November 17, 2018 1:22 PM   Subscribe

An Ask me post from 2011 was quoted in New York Magazine's The Cut this week as part of an article titled, "Are Toilet Bowls Truly Too Short for Some Men’s Junk?"
posted by zarq to MetaFilter-Related at 1:22 PM (35 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

As a librarian I can't imagine this guy just asked some people on the internet and didn't check in with the LPSG forums. Kids today....
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 1:31 PM on November 17, 2018 [6 favorites]


The answer to the headline, without even reading the article, is yes btw.
posted by some loser at 1:38 PM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I have no idea who toilets are supposed to be designed for. I am a fairly average-sized human male (both in terms of my height and *ahem* in other ways) but if I sit on any toilet made in the last ten years I end up balancing on tippy-toes while using my left hand to hold my bits away from the side of the bowl. Not very conducive to getting my business done! Older toilets are generally fine, but everything these days is what I refer to as Discomfort Height, with elongated bowls that end up being essentially dick shelves. If I ever need to buy a toilet, you better believe I'm buying a normal goddamn toilet like what I grew up sitting on.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:40 PM on November 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


Also the author of the article is a "Gabriella,"
which I can tell you—as a "Gabriel" who is frequently misgendered by people reading my name off a list—is the feminine variant of the name. So the author is almost certainly a woman.

posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:44 PM on November 17, 2018


My first experience of a loo in the US was confusion to be honest. "Is it blocked? Why is the water up there?" I'd rather a squat toilet.
posted by deadwax at 2:04 PM on November 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


The water in our toilets is so high because just fucking wasting shit, like just literally shitting and pissing in several gallons of perfectly good drinking water every single day despite the fact that overexploitation of our water supply is a slow-moving catastrophe that will render large swaths of the country uninhabitable over the course of the next few decades, is the American Dream.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:09 PM on November 17, 2018 [11 favorites]


It doesn't sound like a great dream. Too much splash too.
posted by deadwax at 2:48 PM on November 17, 2018


Well. I mean. It's not great. But I really don't want to shit on a shelf, either.
posted by seanmpuckett at 3:04 PM on November 17, 2018


Weird timing...I just finished an episode of Planet Money that exposed the scams of World Patent Marketing.
posted by radioamy at 3:11 PM on November 17, 2018


Also related to large junk, this BuzzFeed story...
posted by radioamy at 3:12 PM on November 17, 2018


Poo-shelf toilets are just such a stereotypically German thing that I don't really know what else to say about them.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:20 PM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm guessing Jessamyn was referring to the askme poster, AOANLA, T.

I had to look up LPSG -- had never heard of it before. Google says it's been around since 1999, so it's as old as Metafilter.
posted by zarq at 3:48 PM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


“Man, that water sure is cold.”
“Uh huh. Deep, too.”
posted by Thorzdad at 5:57 PM on November 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


A more positive spin on that thing Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The said.
posted by aniola at 6:49 PM on November 17, 2018


I'm guessing Jessamyn was referring to the askme poster, AOANLA, T.

Nope, just inattentive. But still, LPSG, as old as MeFi!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:17 PM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


zarq, this post title has changed my life forever
posted by mochapickle at 7:27 PM on November 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


I try to use sci fi quotes as meta post titles but couldn't think of a decent one!

"That's no moon" would have been weird.
posted by zarq at 9:29 PM on November 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


Poo-shelf toilets are just such a stereotypically German thing that I don't really know what else to say about them.

I do!

So at some point I worked on some software for reviewing code, and there was a question: should users be able to review their own code before others see it? Some users wanted to, others didn't. So we invented what we called "German mode" for users who wanted to review their... output. But of course we could never put that into writing, because we were mature adult humans who know how to cover our corporate asses. So then when someone joined the team we had to explain to them what we were talking about when we talked about "German mode."
posted by novalis_dt at 11:46 PM on November 17, 2018 [18 favorites]


If there is truly a need for this toilet, there have been some significant changes in male human anatomy since the last time I saw a naked man in person.

(Asking for a friend who's looking to get back into the dating game one of these days.) Is the cause for this change something that all men experience (e.g., related to global warming, for example) or is this applicable solely to post-baby boomer generations?
posted by she's not there at 2:12 AM on November 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


I try to use sci fi quotes as meta post titles but couldn't think of a decent one!

What, was “Usul, we have wormsign the likes of which even God has never seen.” was taken?

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea?

Down, down to Goblin Town?
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:39 AM on November 18, 2018 [8 favorites]


I am so grateful to learn there’s a “big dick community.”

All these years I thought I was the only one.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:59 AM on November 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


There is a big dick community. Part of it is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/bigdickproblems

Its SFW, mostly just Q & A stuff.

While I really doubt the veracity of much of that subreddit's content, there are definitely issues with having a big dick, and sitting on a toilet with a big dick is a problem.
posted by disclaimer at 7:18 AM on November 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Poo-shelf toilets

what
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:45 AM on November 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The: Poo-shelf toilets are just such a stereotypically German thing that I don't really know what else to say about them.

Are they really? I'm pretty sure you can buy them all over Europe. But you don't have to: you can choose between a Tiefspüler and a Flachspüler (obviously in different words depending on in which country you are toilet-shopping). Or, as we phrased it here when we were deciding on which type of toilet we wanted to put in our new bathroom: one that splashes or one that smells.

Medically, it's not really a bad idea to have the chance to take a brief look at one's output. It allows for early detection of various diseases.
posted by Too-Ticky at 10:31 AM on November 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


Probably not really, no. Stereotypes rarely hold up upon examination.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 12:08 PM on November 18, 2018


the secret is not to examine the stereotypes too closely, lest you get poo on your nose.
posted by some loser at 2:33 PM on November 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


If your todger is so big that it's dipping its face into toilet water into which you are doing poops, perhaps I can suggest that you reel it in and just let it rest on the seat of the toilet in front of you, and check it for ticks.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:06 PM on November 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


is this where i confess always misreading your username as turgid dahlia
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:59 AM on November 20, 2018 [5 favorites]


It used to be, but age has not treated me kindly.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:56 PM on November 20, 2018 [4 favorites]


So at some point I worked on some software for reviewing code, and there was a question: should users be able to review their own code before others see it?

I may be misunderstanding the idea of "reviewing code" here but is it like an engineering review or a copy review where one person does some work and another person checks it? With tools for comparing different drafts and redlining them on a computer? If so, how could you possibly not want to review your own work before showing it to others? Isn't that basically like sending your editor your first draft?

I face the shower and prefer the loose end of the toilet paper to hang close to the wall.
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 11:45 PM on November 20, 2018


What's wrong with just grabbing one's penis and draping it over the top of your thigh when sitting down? It'll hang over the side without touching anything.
posted by porpoise at 1:36 PM on November 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


yeah but how clean is the floor
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:20 PM on November 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


I may be misunderstanding the idea of "reviewing code" here but is it like an engineering review or a copy review where one person does some work and another person checks it? With tools for comparing different drafts and redlining them on a computer? If so, how could you possibly not want to review your own work before showing it to others? Isn't that basically like sending your editor your first draft?

Yes, that's precisely what it is. But you might have checked it on your own computer, rather than by using the (frankly rather shitty) web-based official tool.
posted by novalis_dt at 7:01 PM on November 21, 2018


I may be misunderstanding the idea of "reviewing code" here but

they're talking about looking at your kleenex after you blow your nose, but they wrote "code" instead of "code" because they have a code
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:54 PM on November 22, 2018


Went over to the green after reading this and there is a question about finding a beaker and I immediately thought I remembered something about a "penis beaker" so I googled that and think I'm just going to stick with tieing it in a knot.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 12:34 AM on November 26, 2018 [1 favorite]


« Older Secret Quonsar 2018: Thank You Thread   |   Metatalktails: Alternative Holiday Traditions Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments