Metatalktail Hour: Ordinary, but Odd March 30, 2019 5:49 PM   Subscribe

Good Saturday evening, MetaFilter! This week, Wordshore wants to know, "what's the most ordinary thing you have never done? It could be seeing any of the movies in a famous franchise, drinking tea or coffee, eating at a ubiquitous chain, driving a vehicle, or something else?"

As always, this is a conversation starter, not limiter, so tell us everything that's up with you! And send me ideas for future metatalktails!
posted by Eyebrows McGee to MetaFilter-Related at 5:49 PM (191 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

I have never drunk coffee.
posted by JanetLand at 5:55 PM on March 30 [4 favorites]


I haven't drunk coffee since I tried it once at 16 and said "yech."

I have never seen E.T., the Rocky franchise, or the Lord of the Rings franchise.
posted by Melismata at 6:02 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


I have also never drunk coffee! And I have only been to Starbucks three times in my entire life, and not at all until about 5 years ago. (Also their tea is shitty.)

I have never eaten a shrimp, which is in my profile.

I've never been to the Wisconsin Dells, which is definitely weird for someone who grew up in Chicago's north suburbs. We moved back 18 months ago and I was reminded of this today when my 7-year-old started agitating to go to the Dells and I was like, "We are not going to the Dells, it's a tourist trap," and he was like, "But ALL MY FRIENDS go to the Dells!" and I was like, "I think I'm having a flashback to me hassling grandma about how all MY friends went to the Dells ...."
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 6:04 PM on March 30 [5 favorites]


The two things that occur to me are the fact that unless I'm forgetting one, I've bought 9 vehicles in my lifetime and never taken out a loan on any of them (buying a car on credit seems more normal); and I've never bought a lottery ticket, entered a casino, played the slots while passing through the airport in Las Vegas, or otherwise frittered away my money at a legalized gambling establishment. I think these observations are not entirely unrelated.
posted by drlith at 6:05 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


I have never eaten a Big Mac.

But I really liked the McD LT

posted by Rash at 6:14 PM on March 30 [5 favorites]


It kept the hot side hot and the cold side cold!
posted by MoonOrb at 6:17 PM on March 30 [10 favorites]


I have never been skiing, despite having lived on Vancouver Island (in close proximity to very tall mountains) from age 2-13.

Also, I am going to be 36 in a few weeks and have never been in a romantic relationship. Unless we are counting the cat, in which case woo almost three years!
posted by janepanic at 6:19 PM on March 30 [14 favorites]


I've never been to a Disney theme park, which I guess isn't that weird, but most people I know seem to have been to one.

I've never seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies. I've also never read any of the books. I started the Hobbit and got bored.

I've never broken a bone or been under general anesthesia.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:19 PM on March 30 [2 favorites]


I’ve never seen ET, Titanic, or It’s A Wonderful Life.
I’ve never had a Facebook account.
I’ve never smoked a cigarette...or anything else.
I’ve never ridden a horse.

In other news...I got a job this week that I’m super excited about! I start in two weeks and I can’t wait. Plus, my lovely cat, Phoebe, has been even more adorable than usual. Pets are just the best! It’s been a pretty good week.
posted by bookmammal at 6:21 PM on March 30 [10 favorites]


I have never been to a professional sporting event other than MLB games.

I've never seen: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Alien, It's a Wonderful Life, Mary Poppins. I've only seen one non-Pixar Disney animated film in my entire life.

I've never seen an episode of Star Trek or The X-Files.

In 35 years of having jobs I've never been fired or laid off from one.
posted by bondcliff at 6:24 PM on March 30 [4 favorites]


I've never driven a car, don't know how. That is increasingly becoming a liability, so I'm looking into getting a permit and going to driver's school. Then I can heft my own soil.

The seedlings are growing and growing, both in the beds and in their little pots. I did a ton of weeding and mowing today, to the point where my forearms feel like I lifted several cows over my head. I prefer to used a mower to a whacker so that some of the weeds survive, but I had no choice so I whacked away. The weeds we get are really more like wildflowers, they're very pretty, and good for the bees! Excitingly yesterday I put the squash and peas and larger sunflower seedlings in their beds. No guarantee any of them take, though the peas look hearty. I have some mulching to do, and soon it will be time to get the April plants from sloat. I'm already eating pretty well as far as salad greens go- and I keep pulling beautiful carrots for the table. But despite the scattered rain coming, it's going to warm up soon- and I have more work to do.

Mom is still sick, though she looks a little better to me. Dad's making a brisket tonight which means I have the evening off KP duty. Means I have time to finish another book. Also many thanks to radwolf76 who's post on Morrowind drove me to claim my free game. I am determined to beat it this time, as when I first played it many moons ago as a sweet baby neanderthal my machine was dodgy and my skills were weak and I ended up getting frustrated with how broken the game was and rage-quit. But now there are code-fix mods that fix the game! It's fun playing Morrowind again- muthsera.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 6:25 PM on March 30 [11 favorites]


I've never had my license. I do know how to drive, I can and will drive if it's an emergency and more than a few times I've been the person who drives a stuck vehicle out of getting unstuck in weird off road scenarios.

I'm starting a new ambient and field recording project focused on the natural sounds of the Olympic Peninsula, and a couple of days ago I put together something pretty. (There's also a YouTube version, but the sound is very bad and isn't right.)

I'm not sure if that one will make the final album as it's meant to just be an experiment and sketch, but since I keep finding myself re-listening to it it might not be terrible, and at worst seems to be a good direction to be going in and has a mix of the dark/ethereal sounds I like to make with the light.

So it's looking like I might have a bad case of weird music on the brain again and may disappear into the studio and headphones. Last time I did this is was like a four month process and quite a slog.
posted by loquacious at 6:54 PM on March 30 [6 favorites]


yay on the job, bookmammal !!

I have never seen any of the Back to the Future movies in their entirety.
I have never spent the night at a hospital (other than as a newborn).

I told my husband today that I am filing for divorce. I have a meeting Tuesday with a lawyer to get that going. On top of that, it was the first time that my huz and I have been face to face since we separated in November. It went as well as it possibly could have. He was surprised and we are both sad and grieving at the loss of the marriage, but were both pretty collected and civil. So. I have that chunk of work ahead of me but it should be pretty smooth sailing, and then the rest of my life is open to whatever it is I want to do, however I choose to live it, and I am looking forward to that.

I saw T-Pain last night, and he was fantastic live. If his 1-UP tour is passing near you, you should definitely go. The crowd was very into it, really good-natured, and I had a blast.
posted by Fig at 6:56 PM on March 30 [65 favorites]


I’ve never watched ‘Sound of Music’ or the movie about the chocolate factory. I started SoM once as a kid with my parents and I just, I dunno, maybe wanted to read my exciting book instead and left them to it. I have never felt like I missed anything, thought to watch it, except for some crossword clues occasionally. But everyone I know has seen it, sings it and if they went to Salzburg like I have, they’d would tread over children to go on the SoM tour.
posted by honey-barbara at 6:59 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


I've never been skiing and I've only ridden a bicycle once with very poor outcomes. I wasn't allowed to ride a bike when I was a kid. I'm still irritated about it.

Weeds are now a hazard. One of my dogs was out back hanging out last weekend and got bitten by a rattlesnake, which we didn't figure out until the next day when we saw she had hemorrhaged internally. We took her to the vet. Too late for antivenin, but she survived. She's limping and still has the shakes, but she's peeing, pooping and eating normally, so we're monitoring her. It's been the craziest 6 months of my life and if I get my hands on that snake, grrrr.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:03 PM on March 30 [14 favorites]


I have never seen "The Sound of Music" or "It's a Wonderful Life," either.

I've never gone skiing, which is normal for having grown up in the Midwest (I think?) but weird once I moved to the Northeast. I don't really want to go downhill skiing, but cross-country skiing or snow-shoeing has always sounded like fun.

It was a friend's 50th birthday today, so she and I and another of her friends spent the late morning wine tasting and then had lunch. Which was all lovely, but then they wanted to shop/window-shop, and I hit the introvert wall harder than I have in a long time (to be fair, we had all been together five and a half hours by that point). I had to go stand outside and play with Facebook for 20 minutes while they flirted with a shop owner. Luckily they are both also introverts (just slightly more outgoing introverts), so it was nice that it was not at all weird or a thing that I had ducked out.
posted by lazuli at 7:12 PM on March 30 [4 favorites]


I have a co-worker who has only ever eaten one hamburger in his life. It was a couple of years ago, and people from work collected a bunch of money to donate to charity if he'd eat it. They ended up dressing him in a hamburger costume and everything. He claims it was terrible, which... well, it's New England, so yes, it likely was.

I feel like I have several things like this, but the one that's coming to mind is that, despite having read six of the seven Harry Potter books, I've never seen any of the movies. My sister-in-law had one of them on at my mother-in-law's house once, but I went to bed instead of watching it with them. I've also only seen two of the six Star Wars movies (A New Hope and Phantom Menace), and the only Marvel movie I've seen is the first Tobey Maguire Spider-Man, which I don't believe is considered part of the MCU. Pretty sure I've seen at least one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but they failed to make an impression on me.

I am another one-time-only coffee drinker. Probably around 14 or 15, one sip, yuck. I've also never eaten a BBQ-flavored potato chip, which my friends in high school found exceedingly odd twenty years ago.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:16 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


I have never smoked more than one puff off a cigarette. I tried. I thought smoking would make me cool. I also thought drinking coffee would contribute to coolness. I didn’t like the taste of either and both made me physically ill.

I’m still not cool but I can’t blame it on the inability to consume coffee* or cigarettes.

In other news, I have another public speaking thing on Monday and it’s just a redo of the most recent talk I gave. Then in two weeks I have to give another brand new talk.

*while I do LOVE a caramel Frappuccino from Starbucks, I’m given to understand that’s not coffee.
posted by bilabial at 7:23 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


I've never been to the Wisconsin Dells

Haha, I went and weirdly enjoyed it. If you get dragged there for some reason and can not avoid it, make a stop off at Forevertron. You'll be glad you did. And hey I've never eaten a shrimp, not a full sized one anyhow. Maybe ate a teeny one by accident if it got left in a thing I asked it to be removed from.

The thing I always think of is that I've never read the bible. My parents were from two different religious backgrounds and decided to practice neither, sort of aggressively. So I never went to church or temple with any family member and grew up entirely areligious, which is basically fine. However, in the US especially, not having any experience with church, or bible stories, is a little odd. I miss trivia questions that ask pretty basic bible stuff. Most of my religious knowledge comes from those Davey and Goliath claymation shows that were on TV. Now that I'm older and am basically an atheist Jew, I pick up some of the Judaism stuff but it's like learning a new language, I feel like the critical window for groking some of that stuff has passed.

I've never had a glass of red wine.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:26 PM on March 30 [11 favorites]


I've never been drunk (tipsy, sure!), and I've never parallel-parked a car though I've had a license for decades.
posted by moonmilk at 7:30 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


This feels like a game of "I never"...

I've never seen an episode of Star Trek. I saw the first three Star Wars movies when they came out and have never had any desire to see them again or any of the others. I've seen one or two of the LoTR and Harry Potter movies and read one HP book without the desire to see/read more. I've never seen GoT.

(Yes, I googled "what do normal people do.")

I've never tried liver or offal. I've never done any recreational drugs besides pot.

I've never broken a bone. I've never owned a microwave...








or a TV, sorry.

I'll think of more and add them later.
posted by bendy at 7:33 PM on March 30 [2 favorites]


I never learned to tie my shoelaces with the method most people use; I learned the "bunny ears" method as a kid and just kind of went, "eh, that's good enough for me" and didn't bother continuing my shoelace education.
posted by duffell at 7:33 PM on March 30 [15 favorites]


I've never gotten a DUI and I used up all my luck.
posted by vrakatar at 7:33 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


I've also never watched Game of Thrones! At first I figured I'd read the books first, but then I heard how titsy and grimdark it was and thought, nah.

I've never been skiing. I have always been afraid of heights and gravity, and now my knees have just seen too much in life.

I've never seen a whole James Bond movie -- or even much of a part of one -- and I don't see why I should start now.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:34 PM on March 30 [11 favorites]


titsy and grimdark

OMG, my new favorite phrase to describe things.
posted by bendy at 7:36 PM on March 30 [26 favorites]


I've never been out of sight of land on a boat. I don't know how ordinary that is, but I am fascinated with nautical history, especially exploration & sailing in the 18th 19th & early 20th century, so it seems odd that I've never found my way onto a ship.

I've done all the other ordinary things. Not because they were easy, but because they were ordinary.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:39 PM on March 30 [4 favorites]


I've never ridden a bike.

I've never seen a single episode of Survivor.
posted by Roger Pittman at 7:40 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


I've also never watched Game of Thrones! At first I figured I'd read the books first, but then I heard how titsy and grimdark it was and thought, nah.

Whenever I hear something described as a "gritty reboot," I like to imagine it as a "Gritty reboot," wherein all characters are played by Gritty.
posted by duffell at 7:42 PM on March 30 [39 favorites]


I’ve never tried on a wedding gown... which I was informed this week is some sort of horrifyingness when one has been engaged for three years.

I have never seen Sound of Music or Mean Girls.

I have never left North America.
posted by jacy at 7:44 PM on March 30 [2 favorites]


I'm hoping for a Gritty reboot of ReBoot wherein all characters are played by Gritty.
posted by moonmilk at 7:44 PM on March 30 [6 favorites]


I’ve never had a one-night stand, or sex with someone I’d recently met. Turns out attraction really, really doesn’t work that way for me. Kinda wish it did!
posted by Knowyournuts at 7:44 PM on March 30 [8 favorites]


I have never had a Budwiser.
posted by Candleman at 7:44 PM on March 30 [5 favorites]


Never been even slightly intoxicated. Never seen any of the Star Wars movies. Never seen E.T. Never seen the Raiders of the Lost Ark movies. Never watched a football game, in person or on television. Don't understand any of the terms associated with football (no idea what a "down" is for example.) Never tasted mustard. Never tasted ketchup.
posted by JeffL at 7:51 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


GenXer here, never watched an entire episode of Friends.
posted by jeremias at 7:54 PM on March 30 [7 favorites]


I’ve done everything.


Except see Forrest Gump.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:56 PM on March 30 [8 favorites]


Oh. I’ve also never made it more than two sips into a glass of beer, though I will try a sip of any just in case there’s one I might like or even tolerate.

Don’t worry. I do like lambic and cider.
posted by bilabial at 8:02 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


I majored in film studies and I haven't seen a single Godfather movie.

I just had a great chat with my mum, gosh I love her, she's such a good un. Got to talk about some childhood stuff and stuff about my dad. Since he's been gone (nearly 7 years, gosh), she's the only person I can talk to who was around back then and not a child. Crazy). I could tell she felt a bit weird talking about a man she divorced 25 years ago, but also understood I have no one else I can talk to about this stuff. Thanks, Mum.
posted by smoke at 8:06 PM on March 30 [6 favorites]


We have never had cable TV.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:09 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


I've never seen a single episode of Survivor.
posted by Roger Pittman


Me neither, and I'm friends with one of the winners.

I saw my first Disney film when I was in university; I think it was a revival of Fantasia. I still haven't seen any Disney films from before the Disney Renaissance, except for Fantasia.
posted by workerant at 8:12 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


There's a whole big ton of movies I've never seen or never seen all the way through. Mary Poppins, Sound of Music, Wizard of Oz etc... Not really my bag.

I became vegetarian at the age of 16, and before that I was pretty picky, so there's a ton of meat related food products I've never eaten. I've never eaten sausage of any kind, for instance. I've never eaten a clam or an oyster or a crab (despite having lived in Maryland quite a long while).
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:13 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


I had never taken my kids' temperature until a few years ago. My daughter (by then a preteen or teen) was somewhat sick and we wondered if she had a fever. At first the only thermometer handy was an infrared one and we used that to compare all our mouth temperatures. Then I think my husband dug out a regular human thermometer for her to use. We had to explain to her how to use it. When the kids were little, there were times when I could tell they had fevers, but there was never a time when either of them seemed so sick that I felt like I needed to check their temperature because it might be dangerously high. So I never did.
posted by Redstart at 8:17 PM on March 30 [2 favorites]


Oh yeah I grew up in the Boston area but I've never walked the Freedom Trail, gone on the Swan Boats, been to Plymouth Plantation, been in the TD Bank Garden or Gillette Stadium, or gone to a bar on St. Patrick's Day.
posted by bondcliff at 8:18 PM on March 30 [4 favorites]


I never went to prom!
posted by mochapickle at 8:20 PM on March 30 [12 favorites]


Me neither!
posted by bondcliff at 8:22 PM on March 30 [7 favorites]


I’ve never had a cavity.
I’ve never been ice skating.
I’ve never watched an Avengers movie or any of the Lord of the Rings films. Or Avatar.
posted by nightrecordings at 8:28 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


Not mine, but once I knew a guy who'd never had a headache. He didn't think they were real, just a thing people said they had when they were in certain mood, or as an excuse.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 8:28 PM on March 30 [6 favorites]


And if we're going to do media... I've never seen an entire episode (and often no episodes at all) of any of the following extremely popular shows:

Game of Thrones.
Westworld.
Lost.
House.
West Wing.
The Office.
Mad Men.
Firefly.
The Bachelor.
Dancing with the Stars or any of the talent shows.
Survivor. (Or anything resembling reality TV.)

And maaaaany and most everything else.

and I only recently have seen a few episodes of Black Mirror. I have not seen any Altered Carbon or The Orville or a bunch of other things. Actually the number of serialized TV/net shows that I have seen most (or any) of the episodes in are really small, and most of those are probably have David Attenborough in them.

I'm really just not into puzzle box shows or character driven episodic dramas. I find most of the writing to be really dull or heavily reliant on spoilers and contrived plot twists. I don't find it very relaxing or escapist either. And time and time again there have been a bunch of these shows that haven't really lasted culturally except as in the moment puzzle box shows.

Joss Whedon's writing generally drives me bananas.

I also really dislike being exposed to graphical violence, gore, abuse and rape in just about any format. The older I get the more peaceful I find myself becoming, the more disturbing and upsetting I find it and there's just so much of the real thing on this fucked up planet that it bothers me that people want to consume it and view it as entertainment.

Black Mirror was cool but it's not like I haven't been exposed to most of the actual ideas in it from other science fiction, and it is also good at making one feel anxious and unsettled in ways that have to do with tone, editing and pacing and not the pretty basic SF concepts being presented.

If I'm going to sit and stare at a screen I'd rather be learning or doing and producing something, whether it's idly reading wikipedia or engaging in art, photography or media production. I have notebooks full of music/art related things I can do or try if I actually get bored, which is super rare. If I want escapism I go to sit in the trees and listen to the birds or go to the beach or ride my bike until I'm exhausted and silly.

The most normal TV-related thing I probably do is the act of putting something on to fall asleep to. But in my case it's almost exclusively "how it's made" type videos, or random electronics/stuff taking apart, making stuff like bigclive, AvE or This Old Tony. I tend to avoid nature docs because they're not boring/slow enough to put me to sleep and I stay actively interested. Twenty minutes of how car engines and glass bottles are made? Out, 3-5 minutes, max. Done deal.
posted by loquacious at 8:31 PM on March 30 [5 favorites]


I've never been downhill skiing despite having worked at two different ski resorts. The sport frankly seems insane.

lazuli: "I have never seen "The Sound of Music" or "It's a Wonderful Life," either.

Me neither. We only had one TV channel growing up so I pretty much never saw any of the kids shows my cohort has seen.

I've never seen The Sopranos, Game of Thrones, Lost, or Survivor. I have seen The Wire (repeatedly) but only after the whole thing was available for binge watching via the dark parts of the internet.

Never been drunk or tipsy or even mellow. Apparently I was quite the drinker as a toddler and I had a few beers as a teenager but nothing since. And consequently I haven't experienced any of the drinking adjacent activities.

I've never been out of North America. Actually I've never had my passport stamped.

I've never done any recreational pharmaceuticals; even the ones legal in my country. I'd like to try acid some day though.
posted by Mitheral at 8:38 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


I have never seen a Harry Potter movie.

My son saw the first one with his mom, and noped out, so... I just never bothered.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:40 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


Not mine, but once I knew a guy who'd never had a headache. He didn't think they were real, just a thing people said they had when they were in certain mood, or as an excuse.

I knew they were a thing and would never say such a thing, but I can almost say I've never had one.

I've only had a handful of what would be an actual headaches, but to be fair I think most of those were actually dehydrated hangovers and readily solved with some water.

I've had two sinus infections, and one aura migraine caused by one of those sinus infections.

The aura migraine was fucking terrifying, I hope it never happens again and I really feel for people who have to deal with those. I think it might be less traumatic to accidentally ingest a dose of psychedelics and not know it was happening. The visible aura part of the migraine was something else entirely that was obtrusively solid and hurty.

But on the whole I've had so few headaches I've basically never felt the need to take an OTC pain reliever designed for such a thing. The few times I've had one it's because I was ridiculously sick or intensely, clinically hung over.

(Don't hate me. I make up for it with tooth aches and some of the worst leg cramps in the world!)
posted by loquacious at 8:46 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


We took the kids on a mini-vacation to the Indiana Dunes for a couple days this week (their spring break), and my youngest, whose name is Anna and who is 2 1/2, though that we were saying "in the Anna Dunes" instead of "Indiana Dunes" so she kept saying "MINE! MINE DUNES! ANNA DUNES!" She cried when we left her dunes because she really loved her dunes so much!

It is our freshly-minted 61st National Park, just designated in February, and every park ranger we talked to was SO DANG EXCITED they were now a full-fledged National Park instead of a National Lakeshore. My kids earned among the very first "Indiana Dunes National Park" junior ranger badges, since they had JUST gotten them in, almost all their swag still says "National Lakeshore."

I had been to the Dunes when I was a little girl, and the whole area was geared towards beaches, with irritating dunes blocking the beach access, and almost all the dunes were bald (i.e., just hills of sand) and you were allowed to play on any of them. NOT THE CASE ANYMORE! You can still go to the beaches, but the dunes are now protected. The only bald dune is called "Mt. Baldy," and it has a whole educational thing (it moves 10 feet inland a year and is constantly swallowing the parking lot and killing all the trees!). There's only one spot you're allowed to freely play on the dunes, it's called the Devil's Slide and it's in the state park (and you can sled on it, which is illegal everywhere else). The rest of the dunes have been allowed or helped to return to their natural states, where the beach gives way to dunes with dunegrass, and then marsh, and then oak forest on the second dune, and then oak marsh, and beech and maple forest, and then REAL LAND as the organic matter accumulates. There are hiking trails and paths, but they are narrow and have tons of strict warnings about staying on the path so the fragile dune ecosystem can thrive! (We saw an American red squirrel, which I have literally never seen in the wild before, even though they're native to my area!) There's really great hiking, both hilly (over the dunes) and flat (in the marshes, and in the dune-and-swale). The national park starts in Gary and goes all the way to Michigan City, so if you're coming from Chicago you can be there in 30-40 minutes, and you can even take the South Shore to get there, there are a ton of stations at strategic dune-enjoyment points!

We stayed at a bed & breakfast that's a converted 1925 train station and is maybe 30 feet from the track -- a busy Norfolk Southern freight track with 6+ trains per hour. We stayed in the upstairs room, where the window had been converted into a train-watching balcony so every time a train went by my train-crazy kids raced to the balcony to watch the trains. It was a bit noisy at night, but they've done a lot of work to dampen the sound, so even with the trains blowing their whistles literally 30 feet away (the place is on a grade-crossing corner, so they blow the horn RIGHT THERE), the kids slept through all of it and we just woke up a bit and heard it and dozed back off. They owners were SO nice and put on SUCH a great breakfast and the whole stay was just super-comfortable and charming! If you are a railfan or you're just going to the Indiana Dunes, memail me and I will give you the contact info, this place was GREAT.

Also my legs are still sore from dune hiking.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 8:53 PM on March 30 [22 favorites]


I've never tried tobacco or cannabis, although the reasons have changed over my life. I had never had a romantic relationship up until just last January at age 40. That's been interesting.
posted by traveler_ at 9:03 PM on March 30 [4 favorites]


I believe I've never eaten Taco Bell. I've been inside with friends who got things, but I think I did not order / consume anything.

I think I would like it, though! It's just always a little out of the way. Similarly, I've also not had most light beers, though I'll change that this summer by hosting a light beer party (bring a light beer or something else you will drink), and post lots of paper canoes with hearts sprouting from them.
posted by batter_my_heart at 9:19 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


Watched a whole episode of Sesame Street or the Muppets. (Those were different shows, right?)
posted by Margalo Epps at 9:42 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


I've never had food delivered to my house.
posted by needs more cowbell at 9:55 PM on March 30 [7 favorites]


I used to hang out with stoners, but I didn't smoke (they all seemed so dumb when they were high, both in high school and college). I didn't drink until I was 21, and at first I was a girl drink drunk (Kids in the Hall skit), except not an alcoholic. Mud slides? Yes, please! Now I enjoy beer and other non-sugary drinks.

I can't really ride a bike, due in part to me trying to learn as a kid on a sloping street, with back-pedal brakes. I ran into a palm tree, and would actively avoid looking at bikes for a few years. But now I want to learn, in part because I want to bike with my kids, who don't know how to ride bikes yet.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:12 PM on March 30 [3 favorites]


My wife and I saw Mavis Staples live last night, and it was SO GOOD! We were getting tired, but we said "first, it's an 8 PM show, we can't wimp out, and second, if she can still get up there and rock it out at almost 80 years old, we can get our butts there." Lively, inspiring, and FUN! Enjoy No Time For Cryin' (Live in London).

This was my first "casino concert" (despite living near a number of casinos), which was a weird experience. Good venue, despite walking past slot machines and through smoky air. Before this, we sat in rather uncomfortable seats to see Maria Bamfort and Jackie Kashian, which was a lot of fun, but a worse casino venue.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:21 PM on March 30 [6 favorites]


I have never:
Had a driver’s license (I know how to drive, but never made it official)
Traveled outside the US (and I have only been to maybe 15 states, max)
Learned to dance
Played the stock market
Broken a bone (I bruised a rib once)

For someone who likes horror movies as much as I do, it’s probably odd that I have never seen a Friday the 13th movie. There are definitely other things in what is assuredly my wheelhouse that I have given a miss for one reason or another.

I took a huge drag on a hookah once whilst out with friends, and had a sore throat for a week because of it, and I lit a cigarette for someone once, but other than that I have never smoked.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:31 PM on March 30 [2 favorites]


I too have never spent the night in a hospital (knock wood), and I've never been even the slightest bit injured in any of the few auto accidents I've been in.

Never seen any of Christmas Story, Wonderful Life, LotR, Harry Potter, Shrek, and probably a few others. I make up for it in volume. Never read any "guy's rite of passage" books like Catcher, Siddartha, Zen and the Art..., etc.
posted by rhizome at 10:47 PM on March 30 [1 favorite]


I’ve never done any kind of skiing. I grew up in central New York, went to a high school with a huge ski club, like outdoor sporty things including snowshoeing, and now live in Washington. But somehow I never picked it up.

I’ve never smoked tobacco, not even one experimental puff.

I’ve never been in a physical fight.
posted by centrifugal at 10:57 PM on March 30 [2 favorites]


I've never done any sort of winter sports, but this is less surprising when you consider that I was born and raised in the Equator and the other international cities I've lived in don't tend to have snowy winters.

I've never broken a bone (As far as I know, who knows what's going on with my toes).

I've never smoked pot. Don't want to.

There's a bunch of things that are more like "I tried a version of it once" - I had a puff of a cigarette as a kid and I didn't really progress past training wheels on a bike. I've had driving lessons, but I don't know if I can really say I've driven. The only Shakespeare I've ever watched was a bit of this video from a high school adaptation of a Midsummer Nights Dream that was Tumblr famous for its fever dream quality, but that's about it.

There's a lot of contemporary Western canon and pop culture I never got into. It'd be easier to list out the stuff I have read/watched/listened to.
posted by divabat at 12:33 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


Oh yeah I grew up in the Boston area but I've never...

Well duh.
posted by bendy at 2:10 AM on March 31


I've never had a cavity. I'm nearly 40 so I think that's fairly unusual. I've had fillings though, because my teeth's failure mode seems to be chipping off when I brush them.
posted by lollusc at 2:10 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Every single member of my family smoked, but 80s anti-smoking ads got to me. The one with the tongue sticking out, covered in cigarette butts and ashes? “Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray”? As an unintentional side effect, that rendered me unable to look at an ashtray without the really unpleasant, unwanted image of licking the ashtray popping into my head.

So, no, I’ve never smoked anything, as the physical act of smoking remains the most repugnant thing I can really imagine, and I’ve got a pretty solid imagination.

I’ve never broken a bone, never been downhill skiing or snowboarding (might be a relation there).

Didn’t go to prom, or high school dances. Didn’t attend a single sporting event at my college. Never played any organized sports, though I did play pickup basketball on weekends in my 20s and 30s.

And, having just finished my last day at work, I have never held a full time job longer than three years, and I’m not crazy about what that says about me.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:12 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I've never seen a zombie movie.
I've never had sex outside.
I've never spent a night in the drunk tank.

Two truths and a lie.
posted by bendy at 2:17 AM on March 31 [8 favorites]


Reading other responses above reminds me of some others:
Never broke a bone (that I know of)
Never even tried tobacco
I've never used online dating apps or sites or been on a blind date

Never watched a lot of really popular movies or TV shows, especially anything from like 1990-2005. For the 1990s my media consumption was determined by my family, which was suspicious of anything secular, doubly so of stuff that was American. Then until the mid 2000s I was living overseas and didn't have a TV, and couldn't afford to go to the movies.

I can count the number of times I've been clubbing on one hand, even if I amputated two fingers.
posted by lollusc at 2:23 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I’ve never smoked anything.
I’ve never seen Titanic or the Goonies

Currently in bed with the husband and the kid who are snoring on opposite beats. I suspect that the kid is either dealing with allergies or based on the sound of his earlier cough, croup. He came in crying, wheezing and coughing about an hour ago.

It is 5:23 in this neck of the woods and I need to get up and go to work but I’m afraid that the kid will wake up.
posted by sciencegeek at 2:25 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I have never owned a cell phone, have never had an account or used Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. (except Metafilter).
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 4:51 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


We should do a Metafilter prom.
posted by Fig at 5:19 AM on March 31 [23 favorites]


I have visited every county in England - except Rutland...
posted by Wordshore at 5:21 AM on March 31 [6 favorites]


I never got my ears pierced, which is unusual for a woman of my age and culture.
posted by JanetLand at 5:42 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Heartily seconding jessamyn’s Forevertron recommendation.

Eyebrows McGee:
my youngest, whose name is Anna and who is 2 1/2, though that we were saying "in the Anna Dunes" instead of "Indiana Dunes" so she kept saying "MINE! MINE DUNES! ANNA DUNES!"

This is the cutest thing.

The weirdest thing about me is sort of a cheat - it’s not that I’ve never driven, exactly, but I haven’t driven since getting my license. I passed my “road” (re: parking lot) test under duress and by the skin of my teeth, and it seems profoundly antisocial to inflict my inability on streets with actual people on them. So I never have.
posted by eirias at 5:45 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I love this thread! Reading all of these has reminded me of others:

Never went to prom or any high school dances.
Never watched any of the Harry Potter movies. Only read the first Harry Potter book.
Never watched a Star Trek episode.
Never spent the night in a hospital.
Never had a cavity or any dental work beyond cleanings and having my wisdom teeth removed.
Never had any broken bones.
Never changed my major in college.
posted by bookmammal at 5:52 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


Given that I live in Western Pennsylvania, I've had multiple people express an almost horrified surprise that I've never been to a Steelers' game. Like I had to say it a few times for them to really believe me.
posted by octothorpe at 6:08 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


Oh yeah I grew up in the Boston area but I've never walked the Freedom Trail, gone on the Swan Boats, been to Plymouth Plantation, been in the TD Bank Garden or Gillette Stadium, or gone to a bar on St. Patrick's Day.
posted by bondcliff


@bondcliff With the exception of Gillette Stadium, that's me. Let's get together next St. Paddie's Day and do it all. In one day!
posted by jeremias at 6:10 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I've never skiied. We moved to NH when I was 8, and I was incredibly anxious and shy and did NOT want to learn new things in a weird new place where people called sensible things like waterfountains bubblers and did not want to be bad at sliding down a tall thing with blades on my feet in the cold, especially knowing that everyone around me had been doing this successfully basically since they could walk.

I do not feel like I have been deprived.
posted by ChuraChura at 6:11 AM on March 31 [7 favorites]


I've never kissed anyone, and I've never had a drink (or smoked weed). I feel like an alien walking amongst normal people.
posted by Freeze Peach at 6:24 AM on March 31 [5 favorites]


Mine was going to be "I've never broken a bone" but it seems that's more common than I realized.

I've never been broken up with, I'm always the initiator. Most of my romantic life prior to marriage involved not being able to get a date or not getting past the first date so I know all about initial rejection, but if we got to a second date I've always been the one to end it. I struggle to relate to people who are hurting from being dumped because I literally don't know what it's like. I can imagine what it's like but that's different from grokking it.
posted by Tehhund at 6:46 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I like to think I'm an odd duck, but going through the things people have listed, the only one I can manage is never having broken a bone. Now I feel weirdly normal.
posted by Zalzidrax at 6:48 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


The most common thing I have never done is watch a game show or reality show (other than maybe a shared youtube clip) or any episode of (looking at an online list) Friends or Seinfeld or Game of Thrones or Parks and Recreation or Breaking Bad or Modern Family or Lost or the Sopranos or... hmm. Yeah, television doesn't attract me.

Oh, and winter sports. I have spent all my years in snowy places and I have never skied or skated and I never will if I can help it.

(I have had all the cavities and broken bones and stitches and a concussion and a hernia and spent days in the hospital. I have smoked everything, starting with plenty of secondhand smoke in the house and car when I was a kid and the term "secondhand smoke" hadn't been invented. I have watched all the recent children's movies, but also secondhand; I would never be able to sit through stuff like Harry Potter or those comic book movies of my own accord. I only got my first cellphone in recent months--someone gave me a secondhand phone out of frustration--so I do technically have a phone, even if I leave it plugged into my laptop and just send whatsapp messages through the desktop app.)
posted by pracowity at 6:51 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I've never heard "Despacito."
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 6:53 AM on March 31 [5 favorites]


Like at least one other woman on this thread, I've never had my ears pierced.

Funny story: my sister's birthday is very near mine, so we had joint birthday parties as kids. The year she got her ears pierced, all of her birthday gifts were earrings. I thought that was super lame and a stupid gift, so I didn't want mine pierced.

For my 18th birthday and 43rd birthday, two different best friends bought me earrings. It's unavoidable!
posted by kinsey at 6:57 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Is this something I'd have to have made a comment about not having a TV to understand?
posted by zamboni at 7:00 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I've never heard Despacito.

Since it got so much attention I made a point to listen to it. I found it boring and forgettable, I literally can't remember what it was like. I have no idea why it became such a meme.
posted by Tehhund at 7:02 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Gosh. I read through the thread and the only thing I haven't done (other than see a lot of these movies and TV shows, which, honestly, I don't think counts--nobody can see everything) is use a dating app.

Could I be . . . normal?
posted by HotToddy at 7:12 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I don't know whether I've heard Despacito but whenever I try to think about it, my brain feeds me Desperado by the Langley Schools Music Project instead.
posted by moonmilk at 7:14 AM on March 31 [8 favorites]


In other news, this week I found out after a LOT OF SCARY STRESS that the type of cancer I have is almost certainly one that is extremely slow growing, so although some unpleasant and expensive things are in my future, a total hysterectomy and chemo are very likely not among them! Holy crap. What a year.
posted by HotToddy at 7:21 AM on March 31 [48 favorites]


I've never done any non-prescription drugs. Never read or seen Game of Thrones (titty and grimdark, for the win!), never skied (tried to, sprained my wrist on the freaking tow rope for lessons), never watched a single episode of American Idol or any reality tv for that matter. Never broken a bone, not even a toe. Never been to Mexico or on a cruise.

I've never not had a pet since the day I was born.

**************************************************

I started a new job two weeks ago!! It's like I'm a brand new person. I'm sleeping great at night, I'm not filled with dread every day, and I get to work in a historic Art Deco building that's just been renovated to its former glory. And the people on my team are great! Also I have jury duty for the next two weeks and I'm really excited because it's my first time being called and I've been wanting to do it forEVER. I know it's not a big deal to a lot of people, and many people complain about it bu I'm all about civic duty and I'm basically Leslie Knope, so. Very excited!
posted by cooker girl at 7:26 AM on March 31 [25 favorites]


Fantastic news, HotToddy!

I didn't date until college, and I married my second girlfriend. We're heading into year 12, and I think we're having a pretty good time of it :) My dad's dad got re-married later in life, and they were married for decades, until he died. Which is to say, you can find romance and a partner at any time in life.

Thanks to my wife, I've been to more high school dances than most people (she's a high school teacher, so she has chaperoned almost every dance at her prior school, and has generally invited me as her date :) ). Speaking of dancing, we've been complimented on our joyous dancing. My secret: just have fun.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:45 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


I've never heard "Despacito."

Try the alternate version link through and, technically, you will still not have heard it, perhaps.
posted by Wordshore at 8:01 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


Yay, great news, HotToddy! And congratulations on the jobs, cooker girl and bookmammal!
posted by lazuli at 8:09 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


cooker girl—I felt EXACTLY the same way about jury duty when I got called in January! Alas, I did not get chosen to serve—didn’t even get chosen to be questioned. Someday...
(It’s kind of the same feeling I get when I vote! Leslie Knope would be so proud.)
posted by bookmammal at 8:21 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


OK, I listened to a little of the original version of “Despacito,” and no, I had never heard it. Turns out I have heard Ed Sheeran, though.

I had a similar experience with “Call Me Maybe.” I never heard it until I looked it up out of curiosity maybe last year. I remember thinking “this song was everywhere, so I must have heard it at some point.” But nope, didn’t sound familiar at all.

I do, in fact, live under a rock.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 8:32 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I’ve never eaten cheesecake.

I’ve never seen an episode of Friends or Sex in the City.

I’ve never seen The Simpsons, yet I’ve played The Simpsons Tapped Out on my phone every day since the game came out. All its in-jokes are lost on me but I’m still mildly obsessed with it. Tap, tap, tap.
posted by _Mona_ at 8:39 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


In other news, this week I found out after a LOT OF SCARY STRESS that the type of cancer I have is almost certainly one that is extremely slow growing, so although some unpleasant and expensive things are in my future, a total hysterectomy and chemo are very likely not among them!

Can I favorite that twice, HotToddy? Best of luck to you in figuring out what does come next.
posted by eirias at 8:46 AM on March 31 [5 favorites]


I've never eaten beef. (Until people mentioned that they hadn't eaten hamburgers, I didn't remember that was unusual.)

I probably haven't eaten pork either, but there was one mystery sandwich I was fed on a train once, by a nice old woman I was struggling to communicate with and whose feelings I didn't want to hurt. I was twenty and vegetarian was hard for me to explain in German, so I just said thanks. I think it was some kind of lunch meat, but I don't know how to tell what kind.
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:53 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Stealing "titty and grimdark" too. This describes so many shows, including Westworld and Deadwood.
posted by loquacious at 8:54 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


shapes that haunt the dusk: "I've never heard "Despacito.""

I'd never heard (or heard of) it until two minutes ago when I listened to half of it from the post on the front page.
posted by octothorpe at 8:55 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I've never seen a minute of either Game of Thrones, Westworld, Lost, House, West Wing, Mad Men, Firefly, The Bachelor or Black Mirror.
I've never gotten a tooth extracted or filled. Nor have I ever needed to.
I've never used Windows 10. It sounds about as much fun as getting a tooth extracted.
posted by Too-Ticky at 8:59 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I do, in fact, live under a rock.

Huh. I'm now wondering how many MeFites, especially parents, have never heard this much-loved aquatic song.
posted by Wordshore at 9:06 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I've never seen a single episode of Seinfeld.
I've not broken a bone, but I'm rather starting to feel like that's normal in this thread ;)
I haven't exactly seen a Harry Potter movie, but I have watched Wizard People, Dear Reader. I've only read the first...four? books. Something like that.


Eyebrows McGee, oh, that sounds like such a cool place! I'm reading Fanny, Herself and a big scene takes place at the Indiana dunes and now I am extra-eager to see them someday.
posted by kalimac at 9:08 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


Never been injured in any mostly minor traffic accidents; even the time the airbags went off. Never spent overnight in a hospital for me (spent overnight waiting for others). Never broken anything. I have had a CT and X-rays but they were negative for whatever they were checking for.

Had a IIe but never used Mac. Every 5 years or so Apple seduces me with some supposedly awesome piece of hardware that I end up hating for assorted Apple software reasons (latest was the Nano that I couldn't load songs on without iTunes).

I've owned some sort of car continuously since before I could legally drive but I've never owned a vehicle less than 10 years old.
posted by Mitheral at 9:14 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


I've never shot a gun. Now I'm assuming that many of you in this thread have not done that either but here in Pennsylvania, especially as a guy, that often makes me the odd man out in a conversation. Guns and hunting are pretty baked into the culture here and public schools still give kids the first day of doe season off. My wife, who's not from here, thought my son was lying to her when he said he didn't have school because it was opening day.
posted by octothorpe at 9:22 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


I have never heard the song Despacito, nor have I heard Ariana Grande, Drake, or Ed Sheeran, I saw Taylor Swift sing once, my students wanted me to hear one song. I once saw Kanye West sing one third of a song. I once saw Taj Mahal live and I never forgot that concert. Yeah, get off my grass.
posted by Oyéah at 9:32 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


Never gone on a date that led to a relationship. (Always went on dates that led nowhere, and then just ended up getting involved with friends instead.)

Never owned a video game system.

Never gotten in a physical fight, despite spending most of my prime fight-having years as a guy.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:55 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


I've yet to lose a knife fight because I've never been in one of those but I did wake up recently with a very full bladder, an erection, and both arms asleep and useless- so I get to cross that one off my bucket list thank god!
posted by Mr. Yuck at 9:55 AM on March 31 [5 favorites]


Judging by other answers, this isn't that unusual around these parts but I've never read nor seen Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter.

Really loved Black Panther but no way am I getting sucked into the Marvel universe of films, will wait for the Black Panther sequel and that's it.

Now that I've lost most of my hearing and can't listen to BBC Radio 4 24/7, you'd think there was room for some cinema obsession, eh? Finding a closed captioned showing of any film within a 50 mile radius is harder than finding a redeeming quality in a trump family member so nope.
posted by humph at 9:56 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


Oh yeah, I've never read Harry Potter, either!
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 10:02 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


humph: "Finding a closed captioned showing of any film within a 50 mile radius is harder than finding a redeeming quality in a trump family member so nope."

It's not ideal but there are apps that supply CC.
posted by Mitheral at 10:04 AM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I have never eaten a hamburger (and now I'm vegetarian and never will). I've probably never eaten beef at all, actually, but I can't be 100% sure.
I have never eaten any sort of seafood other than fish.
I've never driven a car.
I have never bought anything from Starbucks.
I don't drink fizzy drinks, because I find them painful, although I've had plenty of sips by accident.
I've never worn pink, in my memory or photo evidence anyway, can't promise anything for baby-me.
I've never seen a real life badger, and I really want to!
I could never learn to dive. I tried over and over and it never clicked. In the end I quit the school swimming team.

I'm sure there are loads of movies I haven't seen.
posted by stillnocturnal at 10:39 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Oh, and I've never been to a concert. Musicals, ballet and theatre yes, specific music acts, no.
posted by stillnocturnal at 10:43 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I just realized that today is the 9th anniversary of my rape during my first field season. I stayed in the forest. I got my Master's. I went back to the forest. I got my PhD. I protected other researchers. I improved things at my field site. And at the conference I went to this week, I convened a group of people to talk about ways they can mitigate risk, keep students and collaborators safe, and manage the effects of assault and harassment when they do happen. It will make a difference. I am proud of myself!
posted by ChuraChura at 10:47 AM on March 31 [97 favorites]


The list of movies I haven't seen is long and tedious, but I did laugh that at a Halloween roller derby scrimmage a couple years ago, I had not seen any of the three movies the teams were named for (Gremlins, Heathers, and the Karate Kid).

I haven't broken a bone, gotten stitches, or ridden in an ambulance as a patient. I've never called 911.

Never played a video game on any sort of console, unless you count arcade games.
posted by coppermoss at 10:57 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I have never read any of the books nor watched any of the movies associated with Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:03 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I have never been to a fancy New Year's Eve party, the kind where I'd wear a sparkly dress and laugh gaily with my champagne as the ball drops. I have never been skiing or camping. Never went to a sleepover as a child. Never had a child. Never attended a professional football game.

Or had pho! I have always been surrounded by unadventurous eaters (my first Chinese food order was at age 22) so it comes down to me taking myself somewhere to have it. I can probably fix that.
posted by kimberussell at 11:14 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I have never purchased an Apple product.
posted by COD at 11:23 AM on March 31 [6 favorites]


this is a weirdly serendipitous topic; mr. lemon_icing has been compiling this list on me since we met. I’ve had three long stretches in my life where I didn’t consume pop culture. First: till the age of 9, I found tv irritating and read books only. Second: I spent almost 4 years working for a jazz label and know no pop music from that time period. Third: I travelled around the globe for over a year and lived in the most basic of digs.

So he’ll make a pop culture reference and I’m all like wha...? here is a sub-section of the list of thing I don’t know or never done:

* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
* Land of the Lost
* Rick Aston
* boy bands: videos come on and I’m asking who are these guys? Boyz II Men and Backstreet Boys, et al.
* drive a motorcycle, although I love being a passenger
* skateboarding
* tried on a wedding dress, although I’ve been married before
* never used dating app or site
* never had a blind date
* never been fixed up with anybody
(yet have managed to be serially monogamous most of my life)(7 years and counting with mister)
* owned or read Marvel comics
* roller blades
posted by lemon_icing at 11:25 AM on March 31 [3 favorites]


As I just learned over on the green, never having heard the song Despacito fits here too, although I just blew it by clicking through to the video. It's a catchy enough Latin pop song but I really can't imagine why the video is over 6 billion views.
posted by COD at 11:32 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Never drank coffee
Never seen The Lion King
Never had a filling
Never read a Harry Potter
Never owned a microwave
Never been to me
posted by billiebee at 12:03 PM on March 31 [9 favorites]


I think Despacito really caught on after the double whammy of Maria and Ivan on Puerto Rico in 2017, and a lot of the news video coverage often had it playing in the background. It was exactly the vibe for the Miami market to respond to their needs on personal levels. We had over a hundred PR refugees housed in Key West.

It's ironic that Despacito means "slowly," considering their recovery efforts.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 12:16 PM on March 31 [7 favorites]


Lion King is a funny one: I've only seen the stage version. Since it was (afaik) a pure translation from screen to stage, it's an interesting way to see a movie for the first time. Fun fact: we sat next to Kristi Yamaguchi's parents.
posted by rhizome at 12:17 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


Back on topic, I've never had a broken bone, but it's not from lack of trying, for sure.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 12:21 PM on March 31 [3 favorites]


Never been swimming due to a trauma induced childhood phobia of the water. Got past the fear, but my efforts to learn how to float have all failed. (Just being comfortable with submersion took long enough.)

Didn't go to my high school or college graduation ceremonies. Never been to a reunion either.

Never been on a 'getting to know you' date - I've only ever met up with people I knew pretty well online first.

Never left the continental US, although I've traveled all over it.

Another in the 'never broken a bone' club, though I've made up for it with puncture injuries.
posted by mordax at 12:46 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Never had a cell phone and have never sent or received a text.

I have never had a haircut initiated by myself. After a few forced shearings inflicted on me as a child, as a teen and adult I have never submitted to any trimming or cutting of my hair. Yes, it drags on the ground if I don't keep it tied up.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 12:55 PM on March 31 [10 favorites]


I have never been convicted of a capital crime.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:04 PM on March 31 [9 favorites]


Showoff.
posted by rhizome at 1:23 PM on March 31 [9 favorites]


There are so many shows and movies I've never seen that I can't list them all, but Star Trek is the one that shocks most people because I'm a scientist and I guess that's surprising? And yes, it's because I've never owned a t.v., and my parents didn't own one either. Not out of a real moral or philosophical stand but because to get anything on a t.v. they would have had a satellite the size of a barn. And same for me - I was poor, and after that I just never bothered to get one.

I've never worked side by side with a woman who has the same professional discipline I do.

I've never gone an entire 12 month period without breaking a bone, starting as a baby. I came really close last year but then rather hilariously a falling icicle from a tree drilled me in the hand and broke the knuckle below my index finger while I was walking down the sidewalk - I had to be swinging my arm just perfectly for it to happen that way. This kind of thing just tends to happens to me, but I also have a lifestyle in which broken bones have more opportunity to occur.

Never been to an amusement park, a circus, a casino, anything Disney, Las Vegas, a theme park, or a water park; never been on a cruise (including a "booze cruise"), stayed at a resort, or with a tour group that has been more than an afternoon and/or required group transportation (no bus tours or overnight stay kind of activities).

I was dragged kicking and screaming into getting a cellphone, but have never bought a cellphone for myself (they've all been hand me downs). Never been on Facebook, Instagram, MySpace, Spotify, Tumblr, LinkedIn, etc. I was briefly on Twitter circa 2007-08 IIRC, where I mostly argued with people who tried to place all or most of Yellowstone in Montana or thought that Wyoming has no escalators. . . apparently I had a real chip on my shoulder about Wyoming geographic trivia in 2007-08. *giggle*

Just basing this off of U.S. voter participation, but an ordinary thing seems to be having not voted? At least a time or two, anyway. I've never not voted - primaries, generals, just local gov't, special elections, what have you - I've never missed of any them.

I've yet to get through a single museum without some kind of reprimand from staff or security. Including a barbed wire museum and a roller skating museum! This is not on purpose. It's been commented that somehow I just make them nervous. Maybe it's all the muttering to myself, "no touchy!"
posted by barchan at 1:31 PM on March 31 [8 favorites]


Never been skiing, been Mormon, gotten a tattoo, had a kid*, or seen a full stage production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

All of this is highly unusual in Salt Lake City, Utah.

*this is the only one I’m sad about
posted by armeowda at 3:43 PM on March 31 [6 favorites]


We stayed at a bed & breakfast that's a converted 1925 train station and is maybe 30 feet from the track -- a busy Norfolk Southern freight track with 6+ trains per hour.

Eyebrows, this sounds amazing. I live four hours from Chicago, in Michigan, and I've added a trip to the Anna Dunes and the train B&B to my list of fun trips.

The people who've never had headaches...jesus. I just had my gazillionth MRI this morning because the headache I've had for 25 years recently changed (the addition of a constant stabbing pain in my left eye) and my neuro wanted to make sure nothing had happened in my brain. I came as close as I've ever come to not having a headache toward the end of a ten-day stay in a clinic dedicated to headache care, but it didn't last.
posted by Orlop at 3:58 PM on March 31 [3 favorites]


I've never seen the Kardashians do anything. This isn't an "I don't have a television," because I watch tons of TV. But I don't think I could identify a Kardashian in a line-up.

I've also never had a hangover. (Again, this is not an "I don't drink" thing -- I do.)
posted by tzikeh at 4:32 PM on March 31 [5 favorites]


Never been skiing, and at this point it has been more effort to not go skiing then to let it happen thanks to work ski trips, trips to friends cabins so others can ski, and invitations to ski from people I'd like to hang out but are really pushy about the skiing thing so it doesn't happen.

I don't even have that good of reason beyond "It seem like a lot of work for the sort of thing I don't enjoy".

And now I want to call up my friend and thank her again for inviting me snow tubing, that was so much fun!
posted by lepus at 4:35 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Never had a cell phone and have never sent or received a text.

What!? How? Of all the surprising answers in this thread I'm curious how "has a mefi account and some kind of web browser but has never owned a mobile phone or even sent/received a text" happen?

What about email? Or instant messages like google chat or Facebook or Facetime?

I'm also really intrigued by jessamyn never having had a glass of red wine. Would not have guessed that one at all. Granted I've only met jessamyn and most MeFite folks at meetups where there's often been historical amounts of drinking going on.


I've never had a facebook account of any kind. I have never even logged into a facebook account for work purposes or anything, ever.
posted by loquacious at 4:44 PM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I've never skiied. I have no piercings or tattoos. I've done a lot of other stuff that people in the thread haven't, though!

Getting out and meeting more people since separation has been super interesting, comparing likes and dislikes and things we've each done or never done. Some people, we have so many experiences in common it's scary. Then sometimes I meet people and our experiences are so widely divergent—maybe we have similar tastes and are both adventurous in music and media and food, but they've never done outdoorsy stuff like playing tennis or swimming in the ocean or camping. So there's a sort of micro cultural exchange there, if we're each willing to learn and teach. It's fun!
posted by limeonaire at 5:01 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I've never seen the Kardashians do anything. This isn't an "I don't have a television," because I watch tons of TV. But I don't think I could identify a Kardashian in a line-up.

I've also never had a hangover. (Again, this is not an "I don't drink" thing -- I do.)


I never realized that I am also tzikeh.

Extent of my Kardashians knowledge; There are three (or maybe four) of them, all sisters, and possibly a brother (?) who stays out of the limelight. One of them is married to a famous rapper. Their father was Robert Kadashian who is I think now deceased, and was, er, part of O.J. Simpson's legal defense team. They are famous for being famous, and one of them I think posts a lot of nude selfies. If the lives of loved ones hung in the balance, I could not expand on this.

This was just about like hearing my grandparents give a potted bio of the Rolling Stones.

And I have even tried consciously to see if I could produce a hangover, but no (I seemingly have an overactive liver which I guess breaks down toxins and such in the bloodstream quickly). Only once did I ever wake up after a night of carousing feeling like I am told hangovers feel like, but it later turned out I had a virus that kept me down for most of a week. So unless my hangovers all occurred concurrently in the same five-day span, I am immune to them as well.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:25 PM on March 31 [3 favorites]


Oh, and I have had something like 5/8ths of a cup of coffee my entire life. The stuff is vile.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:26 PM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I am a parent who has never seen Frozen or heard the Baby Shark song. I am a Rhode Islander who has never taken the Block Island ferry or been to BI, Matha’s Vineyard or Nantucket. Despite all my various illnesses and injuries, I have never been in an ambulance. I have never filed my own taxes.
posted by Ruki at 6:02 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I have never gone bowling.
I have never been to Vegas, Hawaii or Palm Springs.
I do not have a tattoo.
And I have never stayed at an AirBnB.
posted by seawallrunner at 6:07 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


Balloons.
So I carry darts on my wrist.
posted by clavdivs at 6:14 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I've never eaten Taco Bell, I've never eaten Skittles, I've never been skiing, I've never seen an episode of Friends or Seinfeld.
posted by pemberkins at 6:17 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]


I've never climbed the Matterhorn.

A weird thing happened, I got married in Scotland a while back. I saw Kiefer Sutherland at the Kilt Store, and he was very quiet and polite.

Then we went on our way and got the marriage done, and it didn't work out.

But, I reman friends with the minister, who was Glasgow UU at the time, and is now a monk in the Swiss Alps, in a retreat with his partner.

So I have never been to the Swiss Alps, but now I have an invite.

The other weird thing is that this minister came to Maine and lived here for a while, studying with the Shakers. I never knew this before I picked him to marry me and my former beau.

The thing with the Shakers is that you can never marry, so they don't get a lot of takers, but somehow they have a festival every year. I don't know how long it will go on.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:00 PM on March 31 [3 favorites]


Oh yeah, I don’t have any tattoos, which some people found surprising during that stretch where I had a huge beard.

I have never ridden in the back of an ambulance or police car. (I have ridden in the front of a police vehicle, but it was my dad’s.)

I have never paid money for a haircut. I have always had a friend do it, or much more often, done it myself. I have even shaved a few other people’s heads.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 7:12 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


"Well, I've never been to Spain...." Actually, I've had two passports and never used them, but there's always tomorrow.
No tattoos, no piercings other than ears, no broken bones that I can verify.
No skiing, no surfing, nothing with a parachute or a sail.
No smoking -- ever -- and nothing on the illegal side.
But I'm all about the books and movies and music (mainstream U.S.A.), so no gotchas there.
And I'm just not interested in $2 coffee at Starbucks.
About the tattoos....

I had my yearly exam, including a fasting blood test, last week. All as usual with the doc, then I went down the hall for the tests. The husband sat outside with my jacket....
A few minutes later, he watched the nurse from my doc's office hurry down the hall and walk in the testing room. He poked his face around the doorway and saw three people trying to keep me from passing out. Apparently, that's why the chair has a bar across the front.
I'll be getting the second blood test at another time.
So I really don't think I'm game for body modification.
posted by TrishaU at 7:13 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


Oooh, Frozen is another one. In fact, I wonder how many people have seen it who generally don't have kids around them.
posted by rhizome at 7:25 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I'm 43 and I literally learned how to properly crack an egg about a fortnight ago. Never mastered it as a kid, eggs weren't something to be wasted and that same mindset has run with me all my life. Avoided recipes involving eggs, made do with boiled over fried when cooking for one. On a complete whim the other week I bought a half-dozen eggs and tap-tap-thumbwrenched them until I got it right. It's basically fried egg'n'bacon sandwiches and cheese omelettes from here to extremity. Sorry amigos, amores and arteries. Tell Laura I love her.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:48 PM on March 31 [6 favorites]


I have read all the responses and realized that I broke a bone while drunk that required an overnight stay in a hospital. Right before my friend got us into a real live chair throwing, tables breaking bar fight, I had a puff on a cigarette. Seemed to have gotten a lot of them out of the way at once. Quite the headache too.

I once got a thank you bear hug from a Hell's Angel member while at a Grateful Dead concert. I came back from the concession stand with two beers and he and his "old lady" were looking sort of parched and I just said this is for you and next thing you know he gets up and lifts me off the floor. I was a skinny 19 yo at the time. He did not say one word to me before or after.

I have never had fish. If it swam, I do not eat it although I have had a bite of lobster. I have never been to the Statue of Liberty although I grew up in NY and but for 14 years in Chicago and one in Marin, have lived here all my life. (Never went to the Dells either when I lived on the North Shore.)

Never been in or had a Starbucks. Never been in a BurgerKing but have been in McDonald's 100s of times. Up until about a year ago, I had never had vanilla ice cream, just chocolate and cinnamon. No other flavors. Vanilla is not bad I have to say.

I have never done homework or a paper or an application for my kids. They all made it into college (and beyond) without me doing work for them. I answered questions, but never did it for them like so many around where I live.

I have been driving since the late 70s and have never had an accident although speeding tickets seem to be my thing. That is what the long skinny thing on the right is for, yes?

I have never dressed up on Halloween. Even as a kid it just never interested me.

I HAVE shaken the hand of every President since Jimmy Carter.
posted by AugustWest at 7:51 PM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I feel very accomplished in mundane, everyday events after reading this thread. I’ve never been to Las Vegas and I’ve never cooked chili with beans in it, and I don’t plan on ever doing either.
posted by sallybrown at 8:50 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Oh, right, I've also had two passports and never used them. I hope to change that this year! And I know way less about the Kardashians than ricochet biscuit.
posted by limeonaire at 8:57 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]


So many people who’ve never had coffee. Me, I’ve never had more than a sip or two of soda. For elementary school field day the only drink available without going back inside (which would have required a better reason than “I’m thirsty”) was watered down orange soda in a cooler, probably with a ton of ice. I could only ever drink it toward the end of the day when it had gone flat and pale with meltwater, and even then only a third of the tiny styrofoam cup.
posted by deludingmyself at 10:11 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I have never watched Netflix nor have I seen many of the Movies/TV-series mentioned here. It is what many people want to talk about when making small talk, so that can be difficult. I just find most things too dumb or violent or both. On that same note, I've never owned a TV set in my life.

I have never owned a video game console although I have played games on my computer.

I have had broken bones and gone skiiing. I've been skydiving too and flown in small aircraft. I'll try any food/drink you put in front of me at least once. I've tried many drugs. I love black coffee.

I haven't had a soda (Coke, etc.) in maybe 15 years. When going out to eat, I'll get water or juice or coffee or beer or wine - depending on time of day.

I learned to drive young and got a car at 16 but haven't owned a car now for 12 years.
posted by vacapinta at 10:20 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


Never had a cell phone and have never sent or received a text.

What!? How? Of all the surprising answers in this thread I'm curious how "has a mefi account and some kind of web browser but has never owned a mobile phone or even sent/received a text" happen?

What about email? Or instant messages like google chat or Facebook or Facetime?


I do all my web things from a MacPro desktop. I get email, I just don't check it unless I'm in front of my computer. muhaaahahah...I cannot be reached when I'm away from my desks. The only chat I use is jabber and only with my sister, I have a Facebook page that I never use so I can sign in to see other people's posts occasionally. I've never done Facetime. I have always LOATHED phones and never use one unless in a dire circumstance.

Oh yeah, that also means I've also never used an Uber or Lyft or used a phone app.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:50 PM on March 31 [4 favorites]


I've never been to me.
(no-one? really?)
posted by ramix at 12:06 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


I've mused on this subject from time to time while otherwise being bored.

Up until I was 19 I had never been on a plane. The Army decided I should serve on the opposite side of the country and sent me there on a chartered flight.

My go-to for the next few years was that I had never broken a bone. When I was around 27, I guess, I managed to break a couple of ribs in a go-carting accident.

So now my sole defining characteristic requires a bit of explanation for you foreigners: I've never been to "Syden". "Syden", literally "The South" is any warm and sunny country with cheap hotels, cheap airfare, cheap food and alcohol and masses and masses of Nordic, German and British holidaymakers soaking up the sun. Search for "sydenferie" on Google Image Search and you get the idea.
posted by Harald74 at 1:27 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]


I’ve never seen The Godfather I or II. (Or Lawrence of Arabia, or any Alien films, but I have the impression that the first two Godfathers are the big gap and the other two are a little more niche.) There is some other major thing I’ve never seen, but I can’t recall it off the top of my head, because it’s so far off my personal radar.

I’ve never read a Vonnegut novel.

I’ve never broken a bone or been admitted to the hospital; my lack of hospital stays is surprising because I’m chronically ill and usually in relatively poor health in many ways; it is possible to be that and still technically otherwise be healthy as a horse.

No tattoos, even though I’m the sort of person who in many other respects seems like they probably would have a few. (You know, alt and self-consciously artsy. In many respects, a lot of things I could list here are only surprising in context, like “bookish, but hasn’t really read Russian masters” or “likes srs film but has never seen some really foundational Film Buff things.” They’re only surprising if you’re known to have an interest in that subject. Most Americans who aren’t into film have never seen The 400 Blows. Not really ordinary on the whole, only ordinary for my niches.) The lack of tattoos is mostly indicative of indecision over designs.
posted by verbminx at 3:53 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


So I really don't think I'm game for body modification.

It is a way to get past a fear of needles....

I’ve never regretted a tattoo.

I’ve never owned a car.

I never had my wisdom teeth removed.

I’ve never eaten horse sashimi.

I’ve never left a polling place feeling satisfied with my options.

I have also never been to Block Island or really known anything concrete about the Kardashians.

I haven’t died yet; that’s a sort of 50/50 situation.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:59 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


I have never lived in an abode with "real walls" since I reached adulthood...it's always been a singlewide trailer for me. And I'm old enough to have driven a 58 Edsel for my first year of driving (it was older than me.)

I have never been able to whistle.
or hold a tune,
or play an instrument; unless you consider a kazoo to be instrumental.

I cannot tell the women who married the English princes apart even though they are on all the tabloid covers. One of them is named Kate and they reportedly don't see eye to eye. I can tell the difference between black cats, though.

I haven't watched any fauxcontest cooking shows or fauxreality shows or survivor shows. But I read all of Agatha Christie's works during middle school and it must have skewed my taste for entertainment.

I've never been snow skiing, skateboarding or hang gliding. I can water ski, scuba dive and endeavour in equestrian pursuits.

I've never had the flu but have been broken, surgeried and hospitalized.
posted by mightshould at 4:53 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


I'm in the never read Harry Potter club.

I did however cross stitch a Harry Potter poop pun for a friend's washroom.
posted by wellred at 5:36 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


Oh and I don't have pierced ears! Never have. No piercings, no tattoos, though I want to get a tattoo, more for the experience than the result.
posted by wellred at 5:40 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


mightshould: "I have never been able to whistle. "

Wow, I'm not the only one.
posted by Mitheral at 6:35 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


Movie series I haven't seen: Shrek, Austin Powers, Transformers. Big-deal TV series I haven't seen a single complete episode of: Mad Men, The Sopranos, Friends, Downton Abbey. I am fairly sure that I've seen a complete episode of Seinfeld, but I couldn't tell you which one, and I saw the first episode of Roseanne and that was it--I didn't hate it, but didn't feel the need to see any more. (A whole bunch of series fall into that category, actually.)

I have never heard a Kanye West song, and any desire to correct that becomes infinitesimally lesser as the years go by.

I have no tattoos, although I keep meaning to get at least one.

I have never been overseas, and the one single time that I've left the country was a single afternoon visit to Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, crossing over from Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, as a child--I could not tell you a single thing that I remember that made Canada specifically Canadian except for the license plates. That's another thing that I mean to correct before too long. (Ironically, Canada is one of the few countries that I'd like to visit that I can't--they won't let you in if you have a DUI on your record, unless you go through a lengthy and expensive process to basically beg to be let in.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:50 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Ok also I haven't watched [TV show], but it's less of a lifestyle choice and more of a bad combination of brainweirds.

I have a terrible attention span, a terrible memory for faces, and a couple common plot points that I find really upsetting — I can't do humiliation comedy, can't do "I was trying to be kind to you but I made a mistake and you felt mistreated," can't do "If you really loved me you would [straight person thing]," and also can't do rape and mayhem.

The last time my coworkers tried to talk to me about television I was like no, I don't watch any of those, but Are! You! Caught! Up! On! Steven! Universe!, as is the custom of my people, and they were like "Steven what?"
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:56 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


I have two kids (that I carried in my uterus), but I never felt either of them kick. I did feel movements, but no kicking. I think it's because there's something about the way my uterus is tilted or that they were born "sunny-side down", but I still ask pregnant people who say they feel their baby kicking, "What's that like???"*

* I've also never had a labour pain but as I had an emergency c-section with my first child and then a planned c-section with my second child due to ensuing complications from the first pregnancy, that's not surprising.
posted by biggreenplant at 7:01 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


I've never felt snow.
posted by PearlRose at 8:20 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


With the amount of snow I shovelled yesterday (the end of MARCH! Augh!) I'd be happy to mail you some PearlRose. It feels cold and wet mostly.

Never been part of any kind of organised team sport (particularly hockey which as a Canadian is a bit weird). Never driven, no broken bones, don't drink coffee, I'm ignorant of most popular music, and increasingly weird is that I don't have a tattoo, I only just got a cellphone recently though it isn't even used as anything other than device to listen to audiobooks (so I've never used most of the attendant apps that people seem to depend on). I've consumed a herculean amount of film & TV media in my life (and never used Netflix ever...) so there is very little of the enormously popular stuff I haven't seen some bits and pieces of, however, I have never watched the Wire (which seems to shock a lot of people in my line of work), most films with Tom Cruise and most popular reality TV is an utter mystery to me. Like tzikeh and others, while I am vaguely aware of her and her family as cultural background noise I have no idea who Kim Kardasian might be.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:13 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


I've never owned an HDTV. And not because I'm a TV-avoider; I watch quite a bit of TV and subscribe to no fewer than four streaming services. I have two perfectly functional, 15+ year old SDTVs, and I am constitutionally incapable of discarding things that still work. (Although more and more, shows are using on-screen text that requires an HD display to be legible.)
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:49 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


I have never been to summer sleepaway camp. I know this isn't that unusual, in fact only one of my childhood friends ever did that kind of camp, but American media tends to feature "summer camp" as a required idyllic ritual of childhood and I was convinced I was missing out. My parents would always reply that it was 1) expensive, 2) you hate gym class, swimming, and organized sports, this doesn't seem to be on brand for you, 3) camp is for city kids, we ARE in the country, just go outside, we LIVE on a LAKE you can go canoeing literally any time you want! but for some reason I wanted forced crafts and institutional food and matching t-shirts and bunk beds (and care packages!) because movies/books made it look so fun.
posted by castlebravo at 10:13 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]


When I was young , I lived in the mountains near various creeks and rivers (often running right beside our house). Before I got sick, I loved to canoe and kayak, to the extent that I helped teach a women’s kayaking class. As an adult, I live in South Florida, sometimes next to canals. I currently own a sizeable swimming pool.

I’ve never learned to swim.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 10:25 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


Oh, and the only coffee I’ve ever had was a tiny sip somewhere in the depths of childhood. Memorably yucky. I used to make coffee often, for my father and guests. I’m told it was very good. But I never drank it myself. Tea and tisanes ftw!
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 10:44 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


I had no idea the "never been drunk" club was so large. I'm in that one. I drink, fairly often, and even enjoy some fairly hard liquor, but after two drinks I quit for a while. I don't think I've ever been genuinely buzzed. Relaxed and a little extra gregarious is it. I'm not interested in losing control. I've never tried any recreational drug.

I'm a fairly serious cinephile, but have never watched Citizen Kane. I'm not intentionally avoiding it. I just haven't made time for it, yet.

Never been to a professional sports game, unless minor league baseball counts. Except for football, I'd go if someone invited me, but it's not something I'd seek out. (Football I won't watch or support in any way, due to my opposition to people damaging their brains for my amusement.)

I've never eaten lobster. I like seafood. The idea sounds appealing. But lobster was never a part of the poor, rural, mobile home life I had as a child, and it's something that I don't feel competent to make at home and I don't want to try for the first time in public. Seems intimidating, all that cracking and such. I guess I could watch a YouTube video to prepare myself.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 11:09 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Is this the MetaFilter version of Humiliation? The user who admits to never having read any of the articles they commented on is quietly banned.
posted by betweenthebars at 11:30 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


I've been on-line since the mid 1990s but I've never seen the goatse picture.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:59 AM on April 1 [6 favorites]


I've never been to me.
(no-one? really?)


Hi!
posted by billiebee at 12:01 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]


I've never been to a football game (pro, school, pop warner, whatever). I don't think I've ever watched an entire football game on TV, either.

I've never been to me.

Hey lady, you, lady, cursin' at your life...
posted by rmd1023 at 12:33 PM on April 1


I've never eaten a Twinkie. I've never watched "Star Trek" (any variety). I've never believed in God.
posted by thivaia at 1:21 PM on April 1


I don't want to try for the first time in public. Seems intimidating, all that cracking and such. I guess I could watch a YouTube video to prepare myself.

This is exactly what I did before eating my first lobster. It was very easy (and very tasty). Highly recommend! If you take a trip to a coastal area known for lobster, you can get one in a casual atmosphere and it’s less pressure than in a fancy restaurant.
posted by sallybrown at 1:26 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


I have driven a car only once, a quarter mile on a two lane blacktop with no instruction. I was 16. I have never driven since nor taken any instruction nor got a license. It has limited my life in many ways but, on the other hand, the world is a safer place for it, I think. I have not run over a cat or dog or person.
posted by y2karl at 1:51 PM on April 1 [4 favorites]


I never went to prom, or any high school sports events.
I've never witnessed someone die.
I never graduated from high school - but I did graduate from a Community College about 23 years later!
posted by dbmcd at 2:26 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


I haven't ever dyed my hair. I don't suppose that's very unusual overall, but most of the women I know do it regularly or have at least given highlights a spin at some point in their lives.

Also never had the chicken pox.
posted by rachaelfaith at 3:06 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


I have never attended, watched (on a screen), or sat through a whole or significant part of a Super Bowl, World Series, or NBA Final game.

But I remember I have watched at least most of one World Cup match though (Italy v. US in 2006).
posted by FJT at 3:26 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


"I don't want to try for the first time in public. Seems intimidating, all that cracking and such. I guess I could watch a YouTube video to prepare myself."

"This is exactly what I did before eating my first lobster. It was very easy (and very tasty). Highly recommend! If you take a trip to a coastal area known for lobster, you can get one in a casual atmosphere and it’s less pressure than in a fancy restaurant."

If you're interested in crossing "lobster eating" off your list, you don't want to do it in public, but you also don't want to travel to a lobster-rich area, Long John Silver's occasionally offers lobster bites as a special item. It's not particularly good or anything, but you can get in from the drive-thru and take it home to eat in private, without cracking. Also fairly cheap. The other advantage, if you're squeamish about eating formerly living things, is that they're fried chunks, like chicken nuggets; you don't have eyes staring back at you and claws twitching and stuff. That's been abstracted away.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:16 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Another person who has never drunk more than a small swallow of coffee (once). (Waves to my fellow tea drinkers).

Also, no piercings, not even my ears, and no tattoos.

I've never had a drivers license, and have barely driven (quite an accomplishment for someone from New Jersey).

Despite a father who was a life guard, and living in a town full of lakes, and attending summer camp, I have never successfully learned to swim (though I had crossed the ocean 5 times by ship by the time I was 6).
posted by gudrun at 5:22 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


I’ve never met a kitten. I realized this several weeks ago and now 2019 will be the year I meet a kitty.
posted by stoneweaver at 6:09 PM on April 1 [16 favorites]


nebulawindphone: Are! You! Caught! Up! On! Steven! Universe!

Yes! I! Am! Let's! Happy-Cry! Together!

*wanders off, humming "Change Your Mind"*
posted by tzikeh at 6:24 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


nebulawindphone: Are! You! Caught! Up! On! Steven! Universe!

I have scared away a good many people with my enthusiasm for this wholesome and good show, and I regret nothing.
posted by duffell at 7:43 PM on April 1


Mitheral, thank you! I've wondered about loading an .srt file on my phone and reading that surreptitiously as the film plays so an app could help enormously and I'll try it out.

I did this with some success at a live performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream (although I kind of know the text anyway from English Lit classes at school). The only "problem" was that the performances were so wonderfully engaging that I found it hard to look away from the stage to my phone!
posted by humph at 2:41 PM on April 2 [1 favorite]


I'm another person who's never had a license! Hoping to get mine this month after I've mastered parallel parking, solely so I can rent a car and road trip through rural Scotland in May. Driving on the other side of the car and the other side of the road with little driving experience should be... interesting.

I have never done recreational drugs. Or smoked a cigarette.

I have also never been to the Space Needle and don't really see the point in going?
posted by mollywas at 4:38 AM on April 5 [1 favorite]


I have also never been to the Space Needle and don't really see the point in going?

There are worse reasons than to visit the filming location of the opening scene from The Parallax View!
posted by rhizome at 10:35 AM on April 5 [2 favorites]


I have never eaten at Taco Bell, or eaten any food prepared at a Taco Bell.
posted by tizzie at 12:53 PM on April 8


I lived here for 8 years before I took an elevator up to the Space Needle. A mostly glass elevator and me an acrophobe. Not my favorite thing.
posted by y2karl at 3:21 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]


I've been to many a show, but I've never shelled out for better-than-shitty seats. One of these days I'll save up and splurge.
posted by duffell at 3:43 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]


I have never owned a credit card. Debit, yes, but never a credit card.
posted by KathrynT at 10:00 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]


We should do a Metafilter prom.
posted by Fig


c'mon people, no followup here? This idea is great.
posted by duffell at 10:16 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]


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