Fucking Fuck v.66.0.4 May 6, 2019 9:08 AM   Subscribe

It's time for a new venting thread! When concise and witty just won't do, this is the place to say fuck all to this fucking fuckery!!!
posted by Little Dawn to MetaFilter-Related at 9:08 AM (248 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

Fuckⁿ
posted by Fizz at 10:18 AM on May 6 [13 favorites]


Ontario is terrifying, eh?

Couldn't even find a way to participate in this FPP because I am so freaked out. Particularly by the health care stuff, for personal reasons, but by all of it. The incredible selfishness required to support this government. It messes with my head.
posted by wellred at 10:35 AM on May 6 [10 favorites]


I don't know what happened, but I have rolled out of bed on a Monday morning. Taught class from 8 AM. It is nearly three hours later, and I do not know why I still feel like I'm stuck in sleep. Perhaps I can roll my eyes so hard into the back of my head to wake myself up? Meanwhile, construction of a building next to my building continues with the sounds of hammers on steel, scrapeing sounds, trucks backing up with beeps, drills screeching ... wonderful, wonderful music. Literally, "fuckthisnoise."
posted by jj's.mama at 10:50 AM on May 6 [4 favorites]


Fuck. Just in general. Fuck.
posted by nubs at 11:48 AM on May 6 [1 favorite]


frak!
posted by clavdivs at 12:18 PM on May 6 [2 favorites]


I think I mistook the jokey politics thread for this thread and posted the burning vitriol from the bottom of my gut over there and then was not interested in reading the jokey politics. It was my first attempt to say fucking fuck and it went wrong and I was confused.

The burning vitriol about 6 week abortion bans is still there, burning.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 1:07 PM on May 6 [8 favorites]


Frak? I once considered making a website cataloging all the "alternate profanities" in Science Fiction, and calling it the Fraktionary. But I got bogged down in all the frelling shazbot made by the nerf herders and smegheads. Belgium!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:32 PM on May 6 [20 favorites]


Fuck
posted by XMLicious at 1:43 PM on May 6 [9 favorites]


HOLY CRAP I JUST CAME TO PLEAD FOR A FUCKING FUCK THREAD, AFTER READING THIS from 20 year lurk. omg.
Sorry for shouting but had to do it.

Meanwhile, didn't most of you think, when you were younger, that this sort of you know, fascism and coups and corruption in plain sight all over, and STEALING FUCKING BABIES. YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD BE HYPERBOLE. YOU WOULD. That these things were just not possible in the US outside of speculative fiction?

When those two assholes are held in contempt, what is the plan when that is simply... refused. I THINK WE NEED A PLAN.

I have to walk my dogs now. Thank you for being here, you readers.
posted by Glinn at 3:39 PM on May 6 [15 favorites]


These two stories were literally one under the other in my feed reader earlier today.

Pregnant woman asked jail staff for help, lawyers say. Hours later, she was alone in a cell, holding her newborn

Harry and Meghan welcome their first royal baby

I just can't even muster up some anger or indignation at how easy life is going to be for one of these children, for literally no other reason than being born to the "right" family. I'm just too sad.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 3:40 PM on May 6 [26 favorites]


I am at that age where I recover from one medical thing and immediately have another pop up. I know I've been to the hospital too frequently when I don't get asked for i.d. at check-in anymore. I mostly am grateful that I have medical coverage that allows me to go to the doctor as much as necessary to get all these annoying, painful, weird, uncomfortable, etc., etc. things taken care of. But this weekend I was not feeling grateful, and then I was mad at myself for being an ingrate, and then I got mad at the cats which they didn't deserve and locked them in the garage for a while because they were all up in my face (literally) because they were worried about me, and then I felt like a shit for locking the kitties away so I let them out and gave them treats to say, "sorry," and then I ate too much because I felt guilty and then one of the cats threw up because I overdid the treats for them, too, and then I really felt guilty...and now it is Monday and I am at work and still feel crummy.
posted by agatha_magatha at 4:00 PM on May 6 [14 favorites]


Belgium? I once considered writing a monograph of stand alone phrases utilizing fauna and mini-bikes.
But countries and waffles.

Fucqing A.
posted by clavdivs at 4:10 PM on May 6 [1 favorite]


fucking sick of watching various bosses of things pat themselves on the back for work they didn't fucking do, is what.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 4:44 PM on May 6 [10 favorites]


Leicester City. You ask them to do one thing.
posted by biffa at 5:23 PM on May 6 [3 favorites]


+1 for the fix-included title.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:45 PM on May 6 [3 favorites]


Fuck my work situation, which contains two people who should not have been allowed to participate in a convo about my work today. Fuck the in-denial homophobe whose fragile masculinity prompted him to question whether I had really done my job (spoiler alert: yep sure did.) Fuck the hand biter who I supported day in and out for 6 months straight without any thanks, only to have them throw me under the bus so they could feel like they have control over me.

And fuck the fact that I can't go on any social media platform without seeing something depressing or traumatic.

Fuck.
posted by Hermione Granger at 6:12 PM on May 6 [17 favorites]


Fuck intellectually lazy people. (Which fortunately excludes all of you, MeFizens of the Fuckit thread & beyond)
posted by The Toad at 7:20 PM on May 6 [5 favorites]


Bad: flat tire, later found to be cause by a big sharp drill bit, not one of Maine's 18 trillion potholes.
Good: My insurance has Roadside Assistance. I found some chocolate in the truck while I was cleaning it while I waited.
posted by theora55 at 7:40 PM on May 6 [9 favorites]


(I am actually incredibly intellectually lazy but it's a knock-on from being super lazy in all other respects)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:17 PM on May 6 [6 favorites]


I'm so full of fucks I'm not even sure why I'm sitting here typing this instead of looking through my pill drawer for a lethal combination. My health is shit due to PTSD. My job is shit due to a doctor having written Diagnosis: PTSD on a piece of paper that I was required to turn in which got *something* (I don't exactly know what) escalated to the upper echalons of this US side division of this giant multi-national owned by the Japanese. The entire environment is collapsing and everyone is pretending like somehow personal choice or market forces will solve the problem when what it really is going to take is a giant forfeiture of basic rights of everyone on the planet to impose the level of change required. WA had a freakish winter that didn't start until February and which still hasn't really ended so something like 70% of the french fry potato crop isn't in the ground yet which 1) means a national french fry shortage in about 4 months and 2) means the WA farm economy is going to be hit VERY HARD. One of my best friends on the planet has, after several rounds of radiation and chemo therapy, decided to stop his treatments for liver cancer. The therapy appointments that the flyer at work told me would be free through the Employee Assistance Program are being billed to me at $50 a pop, which I wasn't expecting and am not sure I can pay, but I'm also not sure I can drop therapy because fuck I have PTSD and it's fucked up my life. I wish I had never taken this job which led to the accident that has caused my PTSD to begin with.

I do have some hope/fun in my life. My partner is super supportive and has been very patient with me during this time which hasn't been easy on him, and he's continuing to be that and I expect will be into the future. I have a furry convention in Reno coming up in a couple of weeks which I'm going to, even though I have no idea what my health status is going to be and it would suck to pay that kind of money to sit in a hotel room, but I'm going to be there dammit because giant animals are fun. And I went to Palouse Falls this weekend which was unexpected dramatic and was a short day trip and my partner and I have vowed to do more short day trips across this year because we need to go do things and eastern WA has a lot to offer that don't require overnight stays from where we live.

But still, goddamn... Fucking fucking fuckity fucking fuck!
posted by hippybear at 8:57 PM on May 6 [30 favorites]


Guys I am pretty sure I couldn't handle living in a totalitarian state. Pointers?
posted by kirkaracha at 9:32 PM on May 6 [8 favorites]


"First, be smart from the very beginning..."
posted by hippybear at 9:35 PM on May 6 [12 favorites]


Also, does anyone in Portland want to see Indigo Girls at the zoo on a Saturday in June? Because if not, I'm just going to end up composting these tickets which seems an awful fucking waste. MeMail me.
posted by hippybear at 9:38 PM on May 6 [1 favorite]


This week's confidence-bursting exasperation brought to you by the frustrations of waiting for a decision from the world of academia:

- apply over a month early to graduate school programme right in town that has a good reputation and is within my budget and schedule, as well as very relevant modules/courses

- get form 'application received' email

- wait months for further reply or acknowledgement or any update

- send one short, polite email to an admin person on the programme listed on their website asking when in the 'sometime from February to June' period they stated I might find out the result of my application because my employer wants to know the result so they can budget for it and plan my teaching schedule for next semester

- receive reply from head of programme that doesn't answer my question but does say that they have ten times as many applicants as places

- frantically look online for distance-learning MAs in my field that 1) have a good reputation 2) have modules I'm interested in 3) will seem credible to future employers 4) will not take seven hundred years to complete

Gah.
posted by mdonley at 9:52 PM on May 6 [6 favorites]


So many hugs, hippybear. You are very loved and I am sorry.
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:12 PM on May 6 [1 favorite]


what is it like to not have anxiety? I don't remember anymore and it's blowing my mind to think that there are other people in the world who do not go around with their jaws locked and spines tense from fear and stress
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:15 PM on May 6 [22 favorites]


My lizard brain is having anxiety even when I have nothing anxious going on. I get the shakes, the sweats, I start to lose my balance while walking, my breathing becomes labored, my blood pressure goes through the roof, sometimes vomiting is involved... all while just standing still in place for no reason whatsoever. My life is fucked and it's not even anxiety, it's just my body deciding to dump all the responses to fear and anxiety at me for no reason whatsoever, and it does this for hours at a time.

I wish I just had my jaws locked and my spine tense. I'm literally having my life ruined.

posted by hippybear at 10:20 PM on May 6 [6 favorites]


Hermone Granger: Thank you. I am also sorry. And hugs are totally great, so double thanks!
posted by hippybear at 10:28 PM on May 6 [1 favorite]


My decidedly low-energy weekend capped itself with a literal power blackout on Sunday night. This seemed like an unsubtle “fuck you” to infrastructure week.
posted by Doktor Zed at 11:32 PM on May 6 [4 favorites]


I was busy for most of the day, so I didn't find out about this until, um, around 4:00 pm. It's the most ridiculous thing, but then so was 45's candidacy announcement, and pretty much everything else related to this Bozo.

Okay, here it is: 45 sez he should get a two-year extension on his term of office on account of how the Liberal radical Dems and the Fake News jacked him around so much during his first two years. Ha ha, ha.

I know, huh. Too stupid, right? Right?

Ha ha....I just flashed on 45's lap dog in SCOTUS, who's thinking he might turn out to be America's first Minister of Truth.

I'm pretty sure I don't have an actual fuckity fuck fuck fuck to cover this.
posted by mule98J at 11:37 PM on May 6 [2 favorites]


You want some fucking fuck? You think you can handle it? Well, then, please enjoy this lovely Twitter thread in response to the question “When did you become radicalized by the U.S. Healthcare non-system?”

And today, the FDA approved a new chronic drug from Pfizer that they are set to price at $225,000 per year for a marginal benefit. Shall we sit and brainstorm the demographics of a patient for whom our system will decide to invest $225,000 a year in order to confer a marginal survival benefit? School teachers? Native Americans? Veterans? Why is the FDA even allowed to fuck around evaluating this shit? Pfizer develops a drug that only the 0.001% can take? That’s a phenomenal waste of our tax money getting that approved. You’re rich enough to take it, then you’re rich enough to pay for some kind of rigorous evaluation that’s only going to benefit you anyway.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:46 PM on May 6 [13 favorites]


I have had mostly infrequent migraine with aura for 30+ years. For some reason, I've have had fucking 7-8 in the past few weeks. The FDA, in the two years since I've needed a refill, has apparently finally decided that the non-extreme, non-opioid, antiquated yet totally effective for me abortive medication (stop the migraine in the aura stage before it becomes an actual agonizing headache) is not effective and it's totally unavailable. I can't get an appointment until late June to consult with the neurologist (whom I can't stand anyway, but it didn't matter because my migraines were so rare) to find a fucking alternative (the usual suspects for migraine tend to make me barf). I can't fucking see/talk/function with a fucking migraine...

Another fatal shooting a few blocks from my house is making me want to move out of the urban neighborhood I love. I don't fucking want to want to move out of the urban neighborhood I love.

And, I am on the extreme side of luck and privilege with respect to health, family, and support, and that is so fucking unfair for those not.
posted by Pax at 1:52 AM on May 7 [10 favorites]


Peace an luv to you fuckity fuckers. Just came here to say the failure to impeach is an abdication of American democratic functionality and the Democratic Leadership has needed to Get. Its. Shit. Together for well over a month now. No more "it's early" no more "but Mueller" no more nothing. Do It. You Congressional Fucks. G-ddamn.
posted by petebest at 5:21 AM on May 7 [10 favorites]


I am not optimistic about:
  • trump ever leaving the White house. My prediction is that he will not only have a second term, but that in that term he will declare himself pres forever. He is there forever. That's what I'm gearing the remainder of my life for. I'm most of the way to 57.
  • undoing the massive amount of structural damage to our government. not just from this disastrous admin, but the past 50 years of utter destruction by the republican party, and brought to fruition by mitch fucking asshole mcconnell.
  • getting any kind of federal help in times of natural disaster. that includes weather, geological, drought, you name it. I think we are on our own.
I'm cautiously optimistic about:
  • hyperlocality and immediate networks with like minded people we truly trust. they are our only safety net, we are going to have to take care of ourselves and each other:
  • grow your garden.
  • barter with chicken owners.
  • if you're a chicken owner, protect them, and barter with plant growers.
  • weave medically knowledgable people into your circles.
  • trade your skills.
  • harness the sun.
  • embrace permaculture.
  • take care of people in your network.
We're resilient, smarter and more creative than the greedies. They need us waaaaayyyyy more than we need them. And they will never, ever be able to fill their empty needy psyche because they don't know how to love or care. They are beyond salvageable.

Better to spend the energy and resources we do have on nurturing ourselves, the planet and each other as much as we can. That's where I am.
posted by yoga at 5:50 AM on May 7 [19 favorites]


he will declare himself pres forever. He is there forever.
I agree, but forever isn't going to be very long for Trump thanks to his blazingly obvious rapid neurological decline. My new theory is that he and a bunch of his lackeys all have prion diseases. But not the same one! Sure, the lazy ones have the mad cow or scrapie, but some of them ate too much squirrel head stew, some of them have chronic wasting disease from deer hunting, and some of them have kuru! So for a little while while there's still electricity and teevee, we'll be able to take breaks from hoeing the garden and milking the goats to watch the spectacular decline of the ruling classes. Wheee!
posted by Don Pepino at 7:07 AM on May 7 [7 favorites]


Everyone to WH: Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scrofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?
posted by petebest at 7:41 AM on May 7 [8 favorites]


I'm only getting through this with a lot of cannabis.

Fuck everything.
posted by odinsdream at 8:32 AM on May 7 [16 favorites]


My best friend's beloved aunt is going to die soon, which totally sucks. Best friend (we're both early 50s) will become completely hysterical, and unable to function. She will probably quit her job. She might have another car accident. She will talk about how she completely can't deal with this, and how death would be better (she's had suicidal ideation since her teens). And I will have no fucking idea what to say. I can't say "there there, it will get better," and I can't say "my father died when I was 21 and I had no choice but to stay in my job since I'm not as smart as you," and I can't say "I wish to fuck I knew how much of your drama is really mental illness, and how much of it is just using your mental illness for sympathy," and even if it were all due to mental illness, I can't say "I'm pretty miserable these days myself, I can barely get up in the morning due to the realization that no one wants to date me, ever, so I don't really feel like listening to you sobbing right now." Well, maybe I can come up with some more polite form of the latter. There are some days when it just comes down to, it's either you or me.
posted by sockerpup at 9:04 AM on May 7 [11 favorites]


Me too, odinsdream, me too. #cannabis
posted by yoga at 9:15 AM on May 7 [5 favorites]


There's a motherfucking christian minister who is fucking claiming I fucking religiously discriminated against his smarmy asshole fucking self because I didn't kiss his ass at the public university library where I work. So fucking ready to quit this fucking underpaid job.
posted by mareli at 9:59 AM on May 7 [10 favorites]


Allergies, man. *sneezes again*
posted by sallybrown at 10:11 AM on May 7 [3 favorites]


I let my mind wander into why Pelosi would publicly state Trump may not leave office easily.

WHY WOULD SHE SAY THAT? WHAT DOES SHE KNOW????

Like, could that actually happen and then what the actual fuck??
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 10:20 AM on May 7 [7 favorites]


My god, can't we impeach on principle alone.
posted by clavdivs at 11:43 AM on May 7 [4 favorites]


FUCK, I feel overwhelmed by everything. Dealing with two sudden, traumatic deaths I cancelled a trip with old friends to Detroit for the weekend. I meet up with the one who lives in town and in front of his wife and my new girlfriend he says "We just assumed you don't like us anymore." I ask if he's joking, pretty taken aback as I'd met with him twice to explain why I couldn't in any way deal with leaving town for a weekend.

He said no. I went into a very dark place immediately. I would have left but my girlfriend was having a great time talking to his wife.

So we leave and she's mad at me for "not either leaving or confronting him". That's... not supportive... and then we fight. A lot.

I feel broken in every conceivable way. FUCK.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 11:55 AM on May 7 [11 favorites]


Long time 'fucking fuck' first time 'fucking fuck'. I remember sometime around Thanksgiving 2016 I drunkenly ranted to my partner's (largely sympathetic) family about how once Trump took office he would deploy active duty military on US soil and declare a national state of emergency to solidify powers under the executive branch. The next morning I was a little embarrassed. For some reason I was recently reminded of that evening and thinking about how those things have come to pass with very little fanfare...FUCK.

Oh and also I've referenced the 10 stages of genocide so many times now that I recently realized I've started automatically ranking news stories by the number they fall under like 'ooh working with militias that's a solid 7'. FUCK.

I remember my partner asking me, that same drunken evening weeks after the 2016 elections, how long I thought Trump would be president. At the time, the chatter was that Trump would probably be impeached once republicans figured out how toxic he was (Ha ha fucking ha) and people were saying 'oh don't worry he'll be out of office in a couple of years'. Even I was holding out a little hope that the electoral college would do its fucking job.

My answer at the time, to this question of how long Trump would be president, was that when Donald chose to leave office he would be replaced by Ivanka (our first woman president!) and that a Trump would be 'president' for around 40 years (or something around that, it was a number based on historical analysis of authoritarian governments that subvert democracy, likely from the megathreads). I don't know how seriously I believed this at the time, but I think I understood a subconscious need to start mentally preparing for and grappling with this possibility so I could maintain and resist; maybe to some extent I was also internalizing the normalization of fascism that was already happening and has since only increased up.

Then yesterday, sitting in a doctors waiting room I came across this early 2016 'town and country' issue with the headline 'Vote Ivanka' and had a mild existential crisis. WHAT THE FUCK.

In some ways I'm glad I have had this mindset for years now, at the same time it's fucking exhausting to have your worst fears of where we are, and where we are headed, confirmed with each new headline (or even headlines from years ago like 'Vote Ivanka'). Much respect to the disenfranchised and oppressed people of the world (I am a long way from either) who have carried this knowledge for generations, on top of all the other bullshit, and I appreciate the inspiration it gives me to keep holding onto hope for humanity in these dark times and doing what I can to shine a light.

In the past few months I've started opening up and exploring with loved ones and doctors the various health issues that I've been managing mostly on my own for 10+ years now. I'm slowly figuring out that I need to deal with these issues in more sustainable ways while I still can in order to best care for those around me, and that I deserve this. It feels good to care for myself in these ways but at the same time knowing that I have the time and space and resources and support for it and so so many don't...well, fuck.

Also I went to my first town meeting last night (moved here last fall) and was completely inspired, and only a little horrified. I wish I had been more involved with local politics in years past past but am so glad to be getting into it now, and I have to thank the mefi community for guiding me towards a political framework that I can now put to use in the 'real world'.

TLDR Thanks everyone for being here, I love you all, fuck this shit.
posted by soy bean at 12:17 PM on May 7 [21 favorites]


i am exhausted and failing at everything and so goddamn tired. Everything is terrible except the few bright spots. this is one of them.
posted by corb at 12:48 PM on May 7 [20 favorites]


Is this the place to scream? I'm catastrophizing. I feel like I've been triggered every five minutes by something for the past week or two and have entered intensive outpatient therapy. Which seems to be only making it worse to be honest.

Poked my head into politics again and started to spiral into despair over climate change and racism. I think humanity is done for. We're all just waiting for the end-- that's why there's so much bad behavior going on. The rich are going to space and don't care about our problems. Fuck Trump, fuck the alt-right, and frankly, fuck the left for not getting our shit together in time. I feel doomed and it's making it hard for me to care about anything at all.
posted by coffeeand at 12:56 PM on May 7 [8 favorites]


corb, you're a bright spot your own self.
posted by Don Pepino at 1:10 PM on May 7 [14 favorites]


I've spent the last year in a wealthy and complacent suburb of Los Angeles and can not fucking wait until June when I can move back to Oakland, where, if things continue on their current course, we can just barricade the Caldecott Tunnel and the Bay Bridge, defend our border and go our own diverse, liberal, hyperlocal, permacultural way... (and yes I realize there are many other ways to get into Oakland, but work with me, people...)
posted by turbowombat at 1:19 PM on May 7 [5 favorites]


The mods here have started sending me messages telling me I'm getting into "anxiety spirals," even when I didn't think I was -- I mean, I like to think I have a tiny bit of self-awareness. When I brought it up with them over the weekend, I got a curt message telling me I've talked about anxiety and unhappiness in the past. They'll work on their wording in the future. I guess that's good? I know they mean well, but I feel pretty self-conscious now. Like, writing this, I have no idea if this is going to look like another anxious freakout, a calm complaint, or what. It's taken some of the wind out of my sails here. I sent them another message, but no one responded, and I don't want to badger them. For the life of me I can't tell if I'm just being an obnoxious jerk about all this, or if I have a right to be at least a little uncomfortable about it.

I'm not saying I can't get anxious about comments on this site, and I do think people can be total jerks sometimes, but I didn't think that was such an unusual thing. I don't know, I'm probably doing the wrong thing by writing about it here instead of just letting it drop. I just wanted to share my frustration over this with someone.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 1:29 PM on May 7 [13 favorites]


Hi shapes. Do you want to talk about this privately more? Fine to talk about it here too. I won't say more here unless you prefer that.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 1:36 PM on May 7 [2 favorites]


I got you, corb. And you too, soy bean. I appreciate that your name is separated "soy bean" quite a bit.

Catastrophizing is definitely not helped by the constant flow of information from the world IMO. I am constantly battling it. It sucks.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 1:42 PM on May 7


I sent my Congresspeople a note to impeach and incredibly, only my R Senator replied - with a form letter that includes things like “lots of people are talking about impeachment” and “we’ll keep him in check” and I just laugh and cry. Zero from my D Senator. Zero from my D Rep, except INCESSANT FUNDRAISING EMAILS. Put up or shut up already.

Wondering what other country I could raise my black child in, because: fuck.
posted by hijinx at 1:46 PM on May 7 [11 favorites]


 I'm only getting through this with a lot of cannabis.

I wish it did something for me other than make me impossibly depressed. Like, absence of everything depressed. And that fucking sucks, 'cos the last drink I had put me in hospital.

And my beautiful bike has a fucking broken spoke and it's 20 minutes with a fucking wrench to even get the back wheel off. I suspect I need a whole new fucking back wheel. Fuck. Even when I do get it fixed, my neighbourhood's so fucked up with construction it's almost impossible to get to somewhere that's not fucking potholes, road fucking plates and fucking boards over fucking cut and fucking cover for a fucking transit fucking system that's fucking supposed to be fucking online in fucking 2021 but fucking word on the fucking street is it's fucking not fucking going to be fucking finished until fucking nearer fucking 2023, for fucking fuck's sake.

In the words of Malcolm Tucker, fuckety bye.
posted by scruss at 2:27 PM on May 7 [5 favorites]


#cannabis #kingdomsandcastles #dogs
posted by Glinn at 2:34 PM on May 7 [1 favorite]


#potsmokingbeachpets
posted by clavdivs at 3:02 PM on May 7 [4 favorites]


Leicester City. You ask them to do one thing.

Turns out if you want miracles you have to look inward.
posted by biffa at 3:13 PM on May 7 [1 favorite]


Yoooo I’m in Atlanta and my fucking doctor still don’t let me get my stupid uterus taken out because wHaT AbOuT yOuR fUtUrE hUsBaNd so if I get pregnant I guess I’ll fucking go to prison, GOD. And I’m in my 30s! I have just a few more years until my doctor acknowledges “oh yes, you’ve failed as a woman” and is willing to tie those tubes, but there’s a whole bunch of young people out there with uteruses who are going to be forced to give birth or go to jail, and I’m sure doctors are just going to get worse about refusing to tie tubes. And this is in Atlanta, a hub or art and tech and culture, and what are we supposed to do? Leave, because less than 50% of the state voted for the guy who’s into this? I don’t even know what to do with this much anger.
posted by a hat out of hell at 3:55 PM on May 7 [30 favorites]


All women in Georgia should have abortions at least every five weeks, just to be safe. I mean, sure: it's a painful hassle and a serious expense and many of them might not even be pregnant, but think of it this way: pregnancy tests that early are unreliable, people frequently spot during the first month or so of a pregnancy, so they might not have any idea that they're pregnant, birth control isn't 100% reliable, and this is life or death: if the woman or her provider calculated her insemination date wrong by just a few days, they could both get the death penalty! That's why it's much safer for everyone if all the women in Georgia go in eleven+ times a year for prophylactic abortions.
posted by Don Pepino at 4:20 PM on May 7 [15 favorites]


Kids in Denver were shot in school today. Fucking fuck indeed.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 4:33 PM on May 7 [3 favorites]


Welp, based on my alarmingly shitty and anxious mood, mild hotflashes and generally irritibility I fucked up my last med injection and it didn't stick.

Thankfully I still have backup patches and know how to titrate. Grrr.

Cranky hugs to anyone who wants them, but be warned I may also bite.
posted by loquacious at 4:43 PM on May 7 [6 favorites]


Fuck the latest emotional labor thread. I'm so trepidatious about dating men. I fear I won't have anyone who'll give it as much as I do.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 5:17 PM on May 7 [7 favorites]


My dear roommates whom I've posted about in a previous MetaTalk thread recently went through the indescribable loss of their first child a few days ago. Mom's still in the hospital recovering but she should be coming home soon. Fuck this fucking awful fucking week.
posted by Snacks at 5:56 PM on May 7 [8 favorites]


I just got inappropriately angry at work over a small thing thing a coworker had done. I know it's quite misplaced, and I'm still mad anyway, hours later. I had been reading about the Georgia bullshit, and the other bullshit, I think it just kind of spilled over. The object of my rage had gone home hours earlier with everyone else, so there wasn't a public demonstration, at least.
posted by rodlymight at 5:58 PM on May 7


I'm going to cry. I planted these cauliflower for dad and now i'm not sure he'll get a single one because we had such a wet winter and the cabbage flies are so numerous. And I know in the grand scheme of things it's unimportant but dad's been hospitalized twice this year already and I just wanted to give him some nice veg from the garden just for him and it's making me really sad. FUCK.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 7:39 PM on May 7 [20 favorites]


I'm having a pretty shitty day too. Nothing terrible happened but I'm so tired that everything seems intolerable, having had to go out and (robot voice) do two things wiped me out completely and I can't seem to be tired without being sad and everything is awful.
posted by bleep at 7:46 PM on May 7 [4 favorites]


Bad news followed by worse. It just doesn’t seem possible that things can be so unbelievably fucked up. And my g-damn foot surgery has been a sonnafabitch to heal from. It’s just wearing me out.
posted by gryphonlover at 7:49 PM on May 7 [3 favorites]


I can't stand the city I live in right now. Everyone is stressed beyond belief, we all just look wide-eyed at each other and talk about how awful things have gotten. The housing shortage and the homeless people. The rent skyrocketing. The awful dating scene. The bird die-off in France. The million species extinction. Capitalism. I... I just can't.

I'm going to go cry into the dirt for the summer up in Canada and take care of horses and chickens and yes I know I'm insanely privileged to get to do that but I feel totally powerless to change anything and this place is damaging my mental health in ways that are starting to scare me.
posted by ananci at 8:18 PM on May 7 [5 favorites]


Trying to get everything in place for my appeal for the latest disability denial. Seriously, if I was able to do as much work as this is, I would be able to go back to work. Starting to feel like I really *am* just the lazy hypochondriac the judge made me out to be. Doctors have been telling me for over a decade that I shouldn't be working, but trying to get any of them to put that down on paper is like pissing uphill. In the meantime, I've lost one-and-a-half front teeth because Medicaid won't pay for much beyond cleanings and extractions, and it took me over a year to find a dentist in my area that would both take both Medicaid and new patients, and they never answer their phone or reply to voicemails. (Luckily they're not visible during regular conversation.) Trying to get the apartment clean for inspection, but I can only work at it for short periods, and every single night the damn cat goes on a rampage, knocking down stacks of boxes, pulling things out of dresser drawers, emptying shelves onto the floor, etc. My insomnia medication isn't working anymore, so I'm going three or four days at a time without sleeping, and then crashing for 18 hours. The insurance won't cover the drug I was taking successfully about a year-and-a-half ago, and the only alternatives they cover I ones that are contraindicated for people on my other medications. my hand surgeon says my hands are "in pretty good shape for someone with arthritis," despite the fact that I drop nine out of ten things I try to pick up. If I happen to circle an 8 on the pain scale instead of 9, The specialist at the pain clinic starts gushing about what a great improvement it is and how the treatment must be working really well. If I try to describe how bad I feel, she comes back with, "Well, you *look* great! You're practically glowing!" My primary care doctor spends whole appointments doing things like googling organic almond butter recipes. The doctor I want to switch to (who was my primary doctor for fifteen years until my insurance changed and he became out of network, but now my insurance changed again and he's in) says he doesn't want me to switch until my disability claim is resolved. The therapist who was my biggest Ally in the whole process stopped taking my insurance. My rheumatologist cancelled my last appointment because they wanted bloodwork first, but they never sent or called in any bloodwork orders, and they also never answer their phone or return voicemails. Same deal with the office where I got my Prolia injections. I can't just drop into their offices to make appointments because I can't drive and it's hard enough getting rides for appointments I do have.

This wall of text has been brought to you by the U.S. "healthcare" "system." Wishing the poor would die and decrease the surplus population since 1776.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:04 AM on May 8 [15 favorites]


Scrofula?

I first encountered scrofula while poring over Civil War records looking for my ancestors. Seems like it was as common as the common cold during that period.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:10 AM on May 8 [1 favorite]


Relatively minor fuck in the grand scheme of things, but...

They've turned off the heat at work because the calendar says "May". It is currently 48 degrees outside.

Not entirely coincidentally, it is just above 62 degrees in my office. They confiscated all of our space heaters back in December for health and safety reasons. I can only mostly feel my fingers.

I am *this* close to just building a fucking bonfire in one corner.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:49 AM on May 8 [8 favorites]


Seriously, if I was able to do as much work as this is, I would be able to go back to work

Jesus fucking christ, yes. My experience is with the unemployment bit rather than medical stuff, but getting any piece of America's social safety net is practically a goddamn full time job in and of itself. I'm likely to punch the next person who spouts some "lazy people on welfare" bullshit.
posted by soundguy99 at 4:55 AM on May 8 [9 favorites]


Update: someone finally saw reason and turned the heating back on. I retract my previous fuck.

Said the actress to the bishop.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 6:16 AM on May 8 [9 favorites]


I am *this* close to just building a fucking bonfire in one corner.

Hot water bottle. Get the good one from amazon that are made in Germany (bonus points for no slave labor products, we try to avoid those where possible but it is hard) for peace of mind. If you can't get hot water in your office, fuck it, fill it with black coffee. Assholes. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:29 AM on May 8 [7 favorites]


I am already beyond exhausted by watching the news today. Once again I’m struggling with finding the line between being informed and walking away. I just keep sitting here watching the Judiciary committee and literally shaking my head. I’m sad and scared and angry and horrified and tired. I think I’m going to make myself get up and bake something.

Hugs to all who need/want them. Good thoughts to everybody who’s struggling.
posted by bookmammal at 8:25 AM on May 8 [5 favorites]


I have a headache.
posted by limeonaire at 9:38 AM on May 8 [3 favorites]


Congenital scrofula was supposedly Samuel Johnson's chronic malady.
posted by jamjam at 10:01 AM on May 8


I like how the Tiger Woods circle jerk got more press than Trump pardoning Behenna or the Kemp fiasco in Georgia.
posted by aspersioncast at 10:01 AM on May 8 [3 favorites]


Seriously, if I was able to do as much work as this is, I would be able to go back to work

I'm going back to work pretty much because I could no longer try to fight my disability claim. I don't actually expect this choice to be the right one, and I'll probably crash again after a few months. I hate this.
posted by odinsdream at 10:03 AM on May 8 [2 favorites]


I fucking hate my life. I hate being alone all the time. I hate being in a world where someone thinks it's okay to put a woman in prison for life because she had an abortion, or where people can't just love who they love without fear. Fuck all of it, so much of the human world is already ugly and this shit is just making it worse. I'm genuinely frightened about where all this is leading and have never felt more helpless.
posted by Gamecat at 10:03 AM on May 8 [5 favorites]


I am so out of fucks to give. I'm just tired and frightened and apathetic, all at once. How the hell did we get here? It seems like not twenty years ago, even with the problems worldwide, we were headed in an overall good direction.

Climate change continues apace. Every news story I read about it makes me feel like we're solidly doomed to some sort of Mad Max-style scenario in the next decade.

American women may as well start having their uteri removed once they turn eighteen. Since the Powers-That-Be have decided to re-criminalize abortion, maybe we should just stop the problem at the source, hey? Can't have an abortion if you can't get pregnant.

Black Lives continue to not matter. I guess they never did, and I've just been fooling myself.

Speaking of lives not mattering: people continue to die because of lack of access to healthcare in "the greatest country in the world". I imagine I'll continue to work for another ten years, and then I'll just crawl into my cardboard box on the street and let the cancer win.

I have a near-terminal case of outrage fatigue about everything going on in the Trump administration and the GOP. Why every last one of those mo'fo's isn't locked up in federal PMITA prison as I write this, I cannot fathom. Can we have a revolution, please?

I made a pledge to try to be more empathetic this year, especially to those that hate. But if I hear one more thing out of white nationalists, incels, LGBTQIA-phobes of various stripes, and the like, I may have to go check myself into a hospital before I attempt to do something the nation regrets.

Speaking of doing something the nation regrets: I heard we had another mass shooting. Can't bring myself to care. Why should I? No one else cares, at least not enough to put common sense laws into place. I'm not even sure where the shooting was--Colorado, I think? Montana? Not going to bother to look, there will just be another one in a few days or so . Thoughts and prayers to the victims and their families, of course. Does that sound hollow? That's 'cause it is.

In my state, our governor is trying his damnedest to ruin our public school system and deny healthcare, food, and housing to our poorest folks. The state employee pension fund is a catastrophe, and he's pulling every dirty trick you've ever heard of to make a bad situation worse. It's like we elected a Koch brother into the governor's mansion. But hey, he's pro-life, so it's all worth it in the end.

I imagine that sometime later today I'll remember the things I'm grateful for, which in turn will pull me out of my funk and spur me to continue trying to fight the good fight as a non-billionaire citizen. I suppose I could call my reps, but Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul represent me in Washington so it's a soul-crushing exercise in futility. At least my state and local reps act like they're listening.

So forgive me, but I have to spend a few minutes crying out Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani! to sympathetic ears.

Y'all pray for me to work my way out of this despair I'm in right now.
posted by magstheaxe at 10:17 AM on May 8 [12 favorites]


Oh and apparently one of the shooters is a trans boy, so trans people get to experience a whole new world of shit in the public media and scapegoating and stereotyping along with ALL THE OTHER bullshit from a shooting that everyone has to deal with in general.
posted by odinsdream at 10:21 AM on May 8 [2 favorites]


I just took a civil rights course, and one line caught my attention, with regards to current religious-based efforts:

Title VII (Wikipedia) prohibits discrimination because of participation in schools or places of worship associated with a particular race, ethnic, or religious group.

And I thought "shouldn't the opposite also be true?" Just because you're religious doesn't mean you can discriminate and be hateful towards others in your professional capacity. Or in your governmental capacity.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:58 AM on May 8 [2 favorites]


Update: LobsterMitten is a nice person.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 11:07 AM on May 8 [32 favorites]


LobsterMitten IS a nice person!
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 11:29 AM on May 8 [7 favorites]


I came to Metafilter in the aftermath of the Bush selection. I was living in Germany, and could not comprehend what was happening.

I came back to the USA just in time for this.

While the rest of the world appears to be sinking, as well. It figures we would destroy ourselves, having pretty much destroyed this beautiful planet.
posted by Goofyy at 11:55 AM on May 8


(Aw, thanks for the kind words!)
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:03 PM on May 8 [4 favorites]


I wish there were seven different 24-hour news channels for just good news. It'd be boring but in a good way. Part of the OmniFux Dilemma is a focused upstaging of any positive information in our usual information places.

"A Palookaville man celebrated his 38th birthday today with a few friends and his girlfriend of two years. The group went bowling and managed to get the rest of the lanes to sing along with 'Happy Birthday'"
/B_reel
posted by petebest at 12:23 PM on May 8 [7 favorites]


89-year-old Mom's acute pain from the compression fracture of L4 is getting better, she's eating more, sleeping better, and committed to the physical therapy. She's lucid, upbeat, charming the caregivers. The antibiotics got rid of the pneumonia. All of us focusing on helping her get better is lessening the semi-estrangement among some of the siblings. She's lucky enough to have decent insurance, limiting the out-of-pocket.

That she fell is a fucked bit of fucked up fuckery... but at least someone has something getting better, not worse.
posted by conscious matter at 12:56 PM on May 8 [6 favorites]


My mom got a potentially very scary partial-diagnosis from some medical tests she took over two months ago. Two months was the soonest she could get a more serious medical scan scheduled — not because of her schedule, but because of theirs.

Then, last week, they called her two days before it was supposed to happen, to let her know it was cancelled because insurance wouldn't cover it.

Turns out that she has to use a different place to do the scan. And, shock of shocks, that place won't have an opening for her for nearly another two months.

And there's nothing I can do about any of it.
posted by bluemilker at 2:07 PM on May 8 [2 favorites]


There's a lot of fuckety fuck right now - I dumped some of it in Metatalk this week, because well - but the current item: nothing like having to send people an email that says, can you please bring a copy of your protective order paperwork to graduation Friday night so the cop can enforce it if your exes start showing up and trying to cause trouble? Because invading my students' privacy on one of the best nights of their lives (they're all older nontrads) is just what I want to do, whether it's to keep them safe or not.

Fuck this week.
posted by joycehealy at 2:13 PM on May 8 [8 favorites]


Someone in my family (and there's only three of us) has been sick at all times for over a month. And not just the sniffles but major awful gastrointestinal badness. Just all of us, over and over and over. One person gets better, another goes down. A couple weeks later, the first person is down again. None of us can stay well for more than 10 days at a time. My little six year old has missed seven days of school in four weeks. I've missed about that much work as has my husband. Grandma has had to ride to the rescue several times. I couldn't stop crying at the pediatrician this morning. The ladies at the phlebotomy lab (because this has gotten to the point where they want to test for bacteria and parasites) this morning saw my poor little ashen faced meep and nearly burst into tears themselves.

Kiddo perked up enough this afternoon that I was able to go mow a lawn while he played video games, and I chose to listen to this week's episode of It Could Happen Here while doing so, which is an act of masochism so profound I'm surprised a hand didn't reach out of Podcast Addict to slap me.

I now have that headache that happens after hours of crying.
posted by soren_lorensen at 3:30 PM on May 8 [9 favorites]


Okay, I got a whole lot of fucks and some laundry to get back to because I woke up this morning to find out that one of the cats threw up on the bed last night, thankfully on the edge but still, and I am a little worried because damn that was a huge hairball and also I feel like a jerk for not waking up for that.

Fuck rheumatoid arthritis, which means by this time of day my feet always hurt and I have to decide between the additional pain doing the dishes will cause and having the dishes form warring political factions.

Fuck the bullshit sexual harassment policy that just got handed down by my job after some creepy dude decided that he was going to be gross and terrible at half the women in our office. At least he is gone, but I doubt this is going to impede him getting another job where he'll continue to be a creep.

Fuck the US's shitty handling of every disability issue ever, and fuck the ways chronic pain is handled like we're all on the verge of out of control addiction to the point where extra meds during a flare is something I don't even bother asking for anymore.

Fuck how fucking straight my larger social circle is, and fuck internet dating, which I do not want to do again ever but have no other way to meet people I could reasonably date.

Fuck this economy, where even as a fully employed professional I can't afford my apartment on my own and it's not a huge or fabulous place.

I'm also getting through this week on cannabis, but fuck whoever designed my vape pen and the fucking glass cartridges, because I dropped the pen on Sunday and the glass fucking shattered and it was the good, high-THC stuff and now I just have the weaker 50/50 mix which is okay for nausea but come on. Fuck whoever thought this was a good design idea for pain patients, when a lot of us regularly drop things.
posted by bile and syntax at 5:11 PM on May 8 [8 favorites]


All these abortion bans are going to(/designed deliberately to) trigger a Supreme Court case and under this court, Roe is toast. Fuck fuck fuck.
posted by capricorn at 5:19 PM on May 8 [6 favorites]


My continuing SSDI as an end stage renal patient is under review. Wheeeeee!
posted by mochapickle at 6:40 PM on May 8 [1 favorite]


I wasn't even born female and pms is wrecking my shit
posted by Jacen at 7:26 PM on May 8 [3 favorites]


seconded
posted by odinsdream at 7:27 PM on May 8


I am extremely tired and I do not know why. My arms were too weak to play guitar this afternoon, and I feel like I can barely lift up my arms to type now. This, along with the painful heartburn I've had for the last month, has my hypochondria sense tingling.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 7:32 PM on May 8


I learned today that my dad and his doctors have decided to discontinue his pancreatic cancer treatment. He's going to die pretty soon, I guess is what that means.

My radio says, "The love I always turned to. Where did it go? Where do I go without you? When I needed you, you were always there..."
My radio says, "I can feel it in my bones any day you'll be up and gone. Oh I'm losing you."
My radio says, "Every little bit hurts."

That first one resonates the most. She says, "I thought you needed me, but now I find that you're leaving me." And my dad is leaving me now more of less by choice, not staying and fighting to give me weeks or even months more time. I don't understand that. How do you love and care for somebody their whole life and then just leave them? And I'm supposed to go to work and pet the dog and smile for another thirty years after he is dead?
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 9:51 PM on May 8 [9 favorites]


Cancer treatment can sometimes (often) be the worst thing ever, and enduring it just to stay alive can feel worse than just not doing it.

He's making a choice for his own purposes, but it might be a choice you can understand if you were to have a conversation about what his treatments have been like for him.
posted by hippybear at 10:03 PM on May 8 [9 favorites]


The super sweet foster cat I've had for the past five weeks is almost certainly fatally ill (and soon). She'd seemed like she was recovering but took a sharp and nasty downturn in the past 36 hours, so I'm trying to walk the line between cutting her off early because of what could actually be a minor infection vs. causing her to suffer because I won't admit that it's as bad as it might be. The shelter has minimal funding, so they can't afford to determine if it's the suspected cancer or not.
posted by Candleman at 10:29 PM on May 8 [5 favorites]


Speaking of doing something the nation regrets: I heard we had another mass shooting. Can't bring myself to care. Why should I? No one else cares, at least not enough to put common sense laws into place. I'm not even sure where the shooting was--Colorado, I think? Montana? Not going to bother to look, there will just be another one in a few days or so . Thoughts and prayers to the victims and their families, of course. Does that sound hollow? That's 'cause it is.

I know it's just another, and yet. One of my friends' kids witnessed the violence this time. It was in Colorado, for what it's worth. It is numbing how many of these there are, and yet it's terrifying that this can indeed happen to basically any kids you might know (or anyone who goes to malls, or...or...). It's horrible both that this affected someone I know and that soon enough, my brain will move past it, too. But his kid's brain almost certainly won't so easily, and they'll likely have PTSD and need to deal with this for years to come. Let's not say that's so common as to be unworthy of our recognition.

.

As I was discussing with friends last night: Yes, everyone has their things, the various traumas they carry with them, unless they're exceedingly lucky, and sometimes being exceedingly lucky can induce its own trauma. But that doesn't diminish the reality of what any one individual is walking around with in their head, and I think we need to be compassionate about that. Also: If anyone here believes people should be able to walk around with assault rifles and massive magazines in some kind of libertarian paradise, we are not on the same page whatsoever. I have friends who shoot recreationally, and we can have real conversations about that and about guns in society, but we will have to agree to disagree on some things.

I guess at very least, the thing is that we're all playing life on hard mode. I don't feel like we should communally consent to upping the difficulty level on what's already hard enough by giving everyone super easy ways to kill other people.

Corollary to this, perhaps: A friend and I were just comparing notes on the fact that we both, as we walk through cities, are always scanning for possible dangers now, all the ways someone might die—specifically like on the TV show Dead Like Me, in which every episode might contain multiple deaths and a bit of a mystery or puzzle as to how the deaths will occur. You know someone is gonna die, but it might not be the person you expect. And unfortunately, that's pretty real right now.

As the note says: Everyone needs a hug.
posted by limeonaire at 7:26 AM on May 9 [3 favorites]


hi, I'm a man and I'd like you all to know that I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than Nancy Pelosi, or at least, my political instincts are keener. I will remind you tomorrow in case you forgot
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:01 AM on May 9 [9 favorites]


So the Alabama abortion vote broke into a fight and has been tabled? Until I see video evidence otherwise, I’m going to assume that every woman in that room just kicked the shit out of the men who tried to taker her rights away. And I am here for that.
posted by greermahoney at 9:12 AM on May 9 [12 favorites]


There was a fiction story I read once, about a woman who was sentenced to "three life sentences"; in that she was forced to bear as a surrogate three children, while confined so she couldnt hurt herself, and be force fed prenatal vitamins etc. I am wondering if I will see that become real...
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 11:32 AM on May 9 [2 favorites]


A friend and I were just comparing notes on the fact that we both, as we walk through cities, are always scanning for possible dangers now, all the ways someone might die—specifically like on the TV show Dead Like Me ...

I binge-watched Russian Doll at my mom's house and the next morning her broken smoke alarm went off and I jumped out of the shower, dripping, to remove the battery, and for just a moment I thought "I'm standing in a puddle, dripping wet, and this is how I die. Jesus, that's dark."

SPOILER: I DIDN'T.

I wrote words specifically and sucessfully meant to hurt the friend of a friend after he called Caster Semenya an "it" on faceplace—and did so in such a way as to leave the tiniest smidgen of doubt as to whether he was merely being ignorant or malicious—and then my friend took his side because "his children read what you wrote!" So now that's a festering mess of bad feelings on every side and OTOH, I'm like, well, yeah, that was a low blow, I should be ashamed of myself, and on the other I'm like, he's been doing this "Just asking questions!" shit for 20 years.

My new favorite drink is the vodka cranberry orange juice with rhubarb bitters. Indicated for overwhelming feelings of apocalyptic doom. Take as needed.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:20 PM on May 9 [9 favorites]


The world is a fucked up yet beautiful place.
posted by fizzix at 3:51 PM on May 9 [4 favorites]


Octobersurprise, I'm having a super shirty day and came in here to vent but your story of calling out the friend of a friend made me smile. Good for you and good that his kids read him being called out.
posted by biggreenplant at 6:28 PM on May 9 [4 favorites]


Shitty day...not shirty. Although I am feeling shirty.
posted by biggreenplant at 6:45 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


This is the first Ramadan in five years that there have been police barricades and bars with lights flashing in front of the neighborhood mosque.

On one hand, whatever threat has been made is being taken seriously. On the other hand, this is an immigrant community and the police are not exactly the friendliest here.

To all who are celebrating, Ramadan Mubarak. May your fasts be easy and meaningful.
posted by bilabial at 7:35 PM on May 9 [8 favorites]


I just bought a nice new bike light on Monday. I used it a few times, and then last night I apparently dropped a key part of the mounting hardware. I just spend literally a full hour looking for it, unsuccessfully. The one thing that would cheer me up right now would be a bike ride, but of course I can't do that because I can't mount the light to my bike. I can probably ask the company for a replacement, but that still means no nighttime bike rides for a while. I literally JUST rediscovered night rides as a way to improve my mood, and now I can't do them. I officially hate my life so fucking much -- with all the bad shit that has happened in the last few months, this is the kicker that makes me just completely hate my life.

On the plus side I saw some cool spiders and a few millipedes, and I found some worms fucking.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 10:08 PM on May 9 [7 favorites]


Bisexuality is real. Ima go fuck off to the woods for a few days. Have a good weekend.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:52 AM on May 10 [10 favorites]


Update: I finally found that part to my bike light, and I hate life a little less. It was buried under some wood chips, and I only found it by chance. That’s probably a metaphor for the rest of my life (“when things look gloomy, maybe it just takes a little digging”), but the moral of the story for me is that if a bike light handlebar mount is what’s holding me together, I should probably change my life situation somewhat.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 1:01 PM on May 10 [12 favorites]


Today, I finally heard the Rufus Wainwright song "Going to a Town" which begins like this:

I'm going to a town that has already been burnt down
I'm going to a place that has already been disgraced
I'm gonna see some folks who have already been let down
I'm so tired of America

posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:40 PM on May 10 [6 favorites]


I watched the horror of the election play out while heavily sleep-deprived from surgical recovery. The resultant trauma and loss of faith in all things decent and reasonable has meant that I cannot watch television any more, at all. If mr kinnakeet activates the big black rectangle, I must immediately leave the room and seek relief by way of cannabis and knitting, very intense knitting.

On the up side, I don’t miss TV at all, and everyone I know has spectacular mittens.
posted by kinnakeet at 10:20 PM on May 10 [15 favorites]


You could step up your "very intense knitting" to involve gloves, not mittens.

But I like your style.
posted by hippybear at 1:44 AM on May 11 [1 favorite]


Also, I somehow managed to set fire to my MetaFilter tote bag, I have no idea how. So now I have to buy another one. Yay for MF fundraising, but FUCKKING FUCKK!
posted by hippybear at 6:18 AM on May 11 [2 favorites]


This morning, I noticed maybe the fifteenth story in my feed about Britney Spears and her lawsuit against her conservator. I didn't read it, as it doesn't seem like anyone's business.

But what I did do was think about how, years ago, when she started having... difficulties... I sniggered at memes and jokes, because at that point I have to admit I didn't think of her as a person, just some celebrity weirdo.

Seeing all of these stories today though, she just seems like another parent with some mental health issues, which is, uh, relatable.

And I find myself getting het up that her personal business has to end up in the news like that.

And I swear to you, the words that popped into my head were "Leave Britney alone."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:58 AM on May 11 [18 favorites]


FUCK
posted by Little Dawn at 10:34 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]


Man, DirtyOldTown, I was thinking something similar, seeing those headlines as well. Amen.
posted by limeonaire at 1:19 PM on May 12


I am fed up having a Premier for Ontario who seems to have taken the lyrics of Dennis Leary's song "Asshole" as his party platform.

His worst policies are the many ones that affect marginalized people and the middle class, but his weirdest policy for me is encouraging alcohol and tailgate parties. Like wtf? Isn't that American football culture?

We certainly have the CFL but I think
in Ontario sports that rank higher for both viewing and participation are baseball, basketball, football (as in soccer), and hockey. I know the Ford brothers had/have this weird focus on football but this just emphasizes that our Premier is all about himself as I don't even think his base gives a crap about this.
posted by biggreenplant at 2:35 PM on May 13 [3 favorites]


Fuck. I'm on month 3 of unemployment. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm too old and too female to be employable in tech again. I really don't want to sell my house and move. My family and friends just think I'm being stubborn but it's an asset that I have. I have housing. I'm a single woman that owns property and 2020 is a huge unknown. I don't want to go into a rental market with rising rates against my own diminished economic power. I don't want to sell in one reality and then try to buy in another reality that bars me from having property. I'm 22 years from retirement. I was going to do that early, not anymore. I'm under so much uncertainty and I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave the Midwest, which was a goal I had in the before times. The smart thing to do is to stay put with secure housing and find something local. I'm so depressed.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 6:17 PM on May 13 [16 favorites]


Two float planes full of summer visitors to my scenic southeast Alaska hometown collided this afternoon over a local waterway. At most recent count, of the sixteen people who were aboard the two planes involved in the crash five are dead and one is in critical condition, several others are wounded. I'm sad for the people whose dream vacations suddenly turned into nightmare and worried for the pilots as well -- if I don't know them personally there's a high likelihood I know people who know them, it's that kind of small town (which is not to claim any connection to the tragedy, just that I feel terrible for everyone involved, including the rescuers who had to respond.)
posted by Nerd of the North at 8:52 PM on May 13 [6 favorites]


I miss California every single day.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 9:22 PM on May 13 [4 favorites]


> I miss California every single day.

Joni Mitchell's got you covered..
posted by Nerd of the North at 9:38 PM on May 13


I miss California every single day.

Me too, and I've only been there twice. It was my plan to retire there, and thinking about it got me through many a horrible day. Now retirement is yet another thing I've had to give up even thinking about.

(Every time I've been to the Southwest, the worst symptoms of three of my autoimmune conditions have completely disappeared.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:42 AM on May 14 [3 favorites]



I fear that administration is going to provoke a war with Iran, and I don't know what I can do to stop it.
posted by fizzix at 10:42 AM on May 14 [4 favorites]


There's a pile of dirty towels on our bathroom floor (because I'm working too many hours to have time for laundry, and my partner is too depressed to do laundry, and I am also too depressed to do laundry) and every time I am in there, I think how badly I want to just curl up in that nest of old towels and cry.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:16 AM on May 14 [11 favorites]


I miss California every single day.

Sigh. I am in California and my current "fucking fuck" is the fact that I need to leave by the end of June. Moving to LA from the Midwest was an adjustment, but there are a lot of things that I have come to love here, and I'm going to be mourning the life that I had imagined having here for a while. Now that my divorce is about to be finalized and the lease on our apartment is ending, I just haven't been able to find any housing that I can afford on my salary. Most landlords seem to be asking for proof that I make at least three times the rent in gross pay each month, so the only option is to live with roommate(s). All of my single friends and coworkers live with family; no one is looking to start paying $1000 or more for shared housing when they're saving on that now.

I have an elderly cat who absolutely cannot abide other animals and is beginning to have accidents. He's been with me since before my ex and I moved in together and I feel like I owe him peaceful, predictable twilight years (however long I have with him). Imposing that on a stranger - or expecting a stranger to be as vigilant about his quirks and sensitivities as I am - feels unreasonable, and I'm not exactly eager to live with roommates again in my 30s in the kind of housing that seems to be in my price range.

I've been looking for a new job - with no success - for almost two years. I think it's time to go. I've moved eight times in the last seven years, though, alone or with my ex-husband, and I just thought I'd be in this apartment for a while. I am so tired of feeling like I can't buy a couch or a bookshelf because I don't know if I'll be able to take it to the next place. I thought I'd have something that feels like a home by now, and it feels further away than ever.
posted by Anita Bath at 11:53 PM on May 14 [6 favorites]


Feels like an end game in so many ways now.
posted by ZeusHumms at 2:19 PM on May 15 [6 favorites]


Do we think the seemingly sudden escalation in overturning Roe and aggressively posturing for war are a response to growing panic about the Mueller report going public? Are they actually worried? And of course there's the whole having a nightmare war got Bush re-elected. And further, if this administration answers to no one, why bother planning for an election in 2020? I mean why are we pretending like a normal election will happen and WTF DEMOCRATS HOW MANY MUST RUN?

Does anyone think the Democrats have like, a plan. I mean, I would like to say for instance, Senator Harris, what recourse is available? Is any? What if they decide to arrest Nancy Pelosi? Goddamn I am sick of imagining all the possible horrors that have not yet come to be. And all the existing horrors.

Will the military support this wanna-be-king? If the core of the military is still honorable, are they planning against an actual coup? When will they decide that happened? And will someone put a microphone in fucking asshole Susan Collins face and ask if she thinks Roe might be overturned actually, now that she thinks about it. And how does she feel about that? I hate so many people. It is exhausting. All of our lives are made smaller by this corrupt bunch of evil greedy fuckers
posted by Glinn at 4:40 PM on May 15 [3 favorites]


Conrad Black. Lord Tubby himself. I am fucking FUMING.

The man broke a court seal to remove documents. More contemptuous of court it's pretty hard to get without literally spitting in the judge's face. The man was caught on video camera doing his own fucking dirty work of breaking a court seal, like no-one would fucking notice. Jesus fucking christ. A lifetime of shifty business, starting with selling exam answers at Upper Canada College for five grand a pop, and after all that shit, he finally got a semblance of punishment, he still didn't admit to shit when there was no talking his way out of this one, and he gets fucking pardoned.

Conrad Black, Joe Arpaio, Scooter Libby -- contempt of court, who fucking cares? If you're connected, who gives a shit about the rule of law?

I swore an oath to uphold the law when I was called to the bar, and I had to explain away fucking parking tickets in order to be allowed in. FFS. These assholes just shit over the foundation of civilized society itself, and get fucking rewarded for it.

My old man died in 2007. I miss him every day. But since 2016, and especially today, I am so fucking glad he died without having to witness any of this fucking bullshit.

GRRRRRRRR
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:35 PM on May 15 [17 favorites]


Does anyone think the Democrats have like, a plan.

This has been my exact line of thinking for at least a month. The response about whether to pursue impeachment has not been inspiring when it comes to thinking anyone has really thought this out very far.

I have heard three separate people - from very different walks of life - bring up the question of a peaceful transition of power even if we manage a blowout win, saying “2020 is going to come down to the military” and that scares the fuck out of me.
posted by mostly vowels at 6:37 PM on May 15 [4 favorites]


There's no fucking plan. And if there is, it's a shit plan because of *gestures at everything* so they get no fucking credit. Fucking goddamn losers, the whole bunch of them. God damn. I am so goddamn frustrated of Legitimately feeling like I could senator better than actual goddamn Senators in the party I regularly vote for. It's fucking pathetic how spineless these motherfuckers are, while we're out here fucking dying for their bullshit fucking royal court gossip about norms.
posted by odinsdream at 7:04 PM on May 15 [8 favorites]


This is some motherfucking BULLSHIT! I grew up watching women marching without their bras, and we finally got it. What the everliving FUCK?

I've put up with Lindsey Graham being a total ASSHOLE during the Kavanaugh hearings, I put up with Susan Collins and her fucking bullshit speech, but this is some fucking BULLSHIT!

This is my body and those motherfuckers had better take their hands off of my body, those old white guy assholes had better STEP DOWN! I didn't grow up in the 1970's to put up with this crap!

Fuck them! And fuck anybody who says anything about my body. Those rat bastards. I wish them all a nice toasty place in hell!

Jesus H. Christ! What the everloving fucking age are we living in? FUCK THEM! LOUD AND CLEAR!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:14 PM on May 15 [15 favorites]


Things are just getting worse and worse.
posted by great_radio at 7:16 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


The abortion ban stuff is hitting me really hard right now. I’m not an anxious person but I think this is actively endangering my mental health.

There is so much we should be thinking about. Climate change. Capitalism. Migration. Big complex issues that we have to solve and work at.

And now we’re going back to having to defend our right to do what we want with our own damn body! It’s fucking infuriating and so tiring.

I don’t want to spend even a second of my life thinking about how to advocate for my right to my own body. What the fuck. Not one second. What a fucking waste of everyone’s time and what a fucking cancer patriarchy is.
posted by The Toad at 8:58 PM on May 15 [10 favorites]


I’m getting to the point where I really cannot think about 2020 because I am terrified that somehow, after all that has already happened, we’re going to have a repeat of 2016 and that scares the hell out of me. I honestly don’t know how how that scenario would affect my mental health.
I need to figure out how to translate this fear into purposeful action but that’s really hard right now. This was a tough day.
posted by bookmammal at 9:26 PM on May 15 [7 favorites]


I don't want to minimize the severity of the abortion ban stuff: it definitely demands a general-strike, tear-the-system-down response.

But we went into the Trump Era with him blathering about using nuclear weapons in Europe, saying “let there be an arms race,” and then actually openly threatening to obliterate all life on the Korean Peninsula. So that the first two wars in human history where nuclear weapons were deployed would both have involved the U.S. using them against non-white civilian populations.

We couldn't do anything at all about nuclear war during one presidential term, not even mitigating efforts—if surprise, surprise, it had turned out to be a lethally bad idea for human civilization to put nuclear weapons into Donald Trump's hands. Yet we seem to have gotten past that most extreme danger; further international nuclear arms developments are sort of “priced in” at this point, and not so different from the situation before 2017. And the remaining threats from the Trump regime, like the abortion bans, are things we at least have models for dealing with and forbears who won out against. Even if it's going to require utter overwhelming force to fight these fights.

I just want to point out that some things actually have gotten better, albeit a scarce handful, for anyone who's getting to the point where it feels like all hope is extinguished.
posted by XMLicious at 11:16 PM on May 15 [2 favorites]


The GOP Has Its Final Anti-Abortion Victory in Sight (Lili Loofbourow, Slate)
Stripping voter rights. Rigging the Supreme Court. Dull procedural tricks. It’s all paying off at once.
All these things Republicans have been doing establish a foundation to undo all civil rights related legislation.
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:59 AM on May 16 [5 favorites]


After they successfully ban abortion federally I'm sure they'll be all done with their legislative efforts to punish women for existing.
posted by odinsdream at 7:01 AM on May 16 [6 favorites]


All the men who used to yell at me about how Clinton was no different than a corporate Republican have been very quiet about the anti-abortion blitz.
posted by sallybrown at 7:05 AM on May 16 [15 favorites]


Saw my first Trump 2020 flag yesterday here in rural Ohio. Where during the midterms nothing good happened at all. I am envious of every one of you who is newly represented by a muslim woman or a native american woman or an openly lesbian woman.

White guys in trucks, here, that's all we've got. And women who voted with their husbands. Where at our local hospital all the people I know who gave birth last year knew to avoid the christian couple who didn't quite tell my lesbian friends that they were less than, and the old doctor who still gives everybody a fucking episiotomy to the point that community members call him doctor slice and dice. Where the question is what kind of christian you are because the idea that you might legitimately not be - like, I'm not a lapsed anything, I was just not raised with any kind of understanding that jesus was anything divine - is unimaginable.

Fucking fuck this fucking bullshit.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 8:19 AM on May 16 [7 favorites]


One of the strictest anti-abortion policies in modern history was that of Nicolae Ceaușescu's Communist Romania. His policies also ravaged the economy in a way that hit young adults particularly hard.

The result was a massive population boom of young people with no financial future.

The aforementioned youth subsequently overthrew Ceaușescu and he was executed in the street on Christmas Day.

But you know, good luck with this plan, right wing America.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:36 AM on May 16 [19 favorites]


I mean, it would never occur to them to worry about a thing like that because they're sure Blonde Jesus is gonna show up any day now and pat them on the back for "saving babies" just before he whisks them up to heaven and sets everybody else on fire. . .
posted by soundguy99 at 11:20 AM on May 16


my shrink decided to tell me that if Trump won again in 2020 "we're finished" and I almost asked him if he meant a) the left b) the U.S. c) humanity d) the world and then I was like I know he means all of the above, so anyway, about my anxiety and depression
posted by angrycat at 2:48 PM on May 16 [16 favorites]


I read the SCUM Manifesto for comfort reading, and even though yes I know it has major issues with gender essentialism and violence, nothing else quite captures my pure hatred of men right now
posted by mostly vowels at 4:51 PM on May 16 [5 favorites]


All my performative activism FB groups are full of women now declaring how they’re going to be AUNTIES and subsequently signing up for all the FB groups declaring them such not taking it well when it’s pointed out to them that maayybbee declaring their willingness to commit a crime on social media and essentially helping a platform that has proven time and time again that they mmaaayyy not be a friend to social justice compile a database to be turned over to our theocratic overlords isn’t the best idea? Am I the only one who remembers the stories of women being blindfolded so they couldn’t see who was assisting them? How they had no idea where they were going? How it was called the UNDERGROUND railroad? With all the sociopathic tech bros out there, am I overreacting to think they can set up a database where Jane Smith declares herself an auntie, takes a trip to MO, her Ipass pings, and she gets pulled over to be asked about the girl in her car? Fuck man.
posted by jacy at 5:36 PM on May 16 [11 favorites]


This is men. Still. They will never step up.

Has there been any good writing about how it's been women leading the resistance since the election that calls out men's conspicuous absence?
posted by fluttering hellfire at 6:05 PM on May 16 [4 favorites]


I just can’t believe a lawyer would be so stupid to leave a voicemail like that. At least these trump humping minions are slightly more miserable than the rest of us, at least regarding processing the normalization of that hamberder.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:16 PM on May 16


(I’m trying to reduce all the swearing, which really only flared up after turd got his crown.)
posted by Burhanistan at 7:17 PM on May 16


I was noodling around twitter and found the best summation of my feelings to be a photo of I think Abby of Broad Street looking dismayed and making scare quotes as she says "how 'am' I?" and captioned with simply: women rn
posted by angrycat at 4:04 AM on May 17 [2 favorites]


One more thing about the etreme abortion ban under Ceaușescu... When we say that Romania underwent a population boom of children with no financial future, it's not just a matter of a wave of young people whose unplanned kids had limited options, though that happened too.

I'm talking about the Romanian orphan crisis, hundreds of thousands of unwanted children suffering in orphanages.

They were nicknamed the federeii, a word derived from a term for garbage dump.

Here's your future, anti-choice people.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:11 AM on May 17 [7 favorites]


Oh, no, Grumpy Cat! God DAMN it!
posted by Don Pepino at 7:32 AM on May 17 [3 favorites]


1) I spent the day dissociated yesterday.
2) I have a very strong Pro-Abortion stance (yes, of course pro-choice, but I grew up with the Pro-Life propaganda so it had an effect where I'm far beyond mere "choice" (never ever for FORCED abortion, though, so don't misread mem).
3) I spent the days pondering how to resist. I've already said we need to have an underground and I feel its my duty. My roomie thinks it's wrong and stupid and "let the women do it" or something (she's a woman, I'm a dude) so i get that, but she didn't get the propaganda shoved down her throat at an early age.
4) Good news Poland backed off after mass protests.
5) Bad news : US isn't Poland (in theory it's more "enlightened" but...)
6) Worse news - how are we going to do this? We need more than pink pussy power hats, we need more resistance than ever before.
7) There needs to be all facets considered, not just marches.

They call themselves Christian and try to force us into their own (non-followed) processes. I do not advocate murder, but "turn the other cheek" is not something we can or should do.

They have killed many of us already. Resistance must not be meek and humble.

There are vectors of approach that must be considered in all areas and walks.

Block their "crisis centers" the way they blocked clinics. Vandalism is nowhere near violence. I am not advocating vandalism. But I am pointing out that if one chooses to do so, it is nowhere near the moral crime of murdering abortion doctors.

I just worry the typical white liberal feminists are not going to be particularly strong except for the real strong minority who are passionate about this issue.

(the same way many here assume all men are guilty).

Pelosi herself, not 2 years ago said "well, we shouldn't worry so much about abortion" - so there's your mighty leadership.

If Biden gets the nod (as he seems to be doing so far) we are fucked.

And now Grumpy Cat. :\
posted by symbioid at 10:49 AM on May 17 [5 favorites]


Fuck cancer.

..
posted by Candleman at 1:31 PM on May 17 [5 favorites]


What the fuck is up with the thing where FIVE FUCKING STATES have banned abortion just all of the sudden and like, I keep up with news and NEVER FUCKING KNEW IT WAS COMING???

I'll be glad to take the responsibility for just not knowing where to keep up with this, but FUCK, I feel like the Fucking DEMOCRATIC PARTY should've like. DONE SOMETHING about this at least in media terms.

Jesus.


Part of what makes this SO demoralizing is the feeling of dominos falling all by surprise. Literally every fucking day it's another fucking thing.
posted by odinsdream at 1:56 PM on May 17 [10 favorites]


Like, if Democratic states had somehow organized (ha ha) to coordinate the enacting of new gun legislation or something (not making a comparison, just picking A Thing That Matters to Republicans) in FIVE FUCKING STATES in a row, you damn well bet that Republicans would be talking about it coming up BEFORE IT HAPPENS.
posted by odinsdream at 2:11 PM on May 17 [6 favorites]


Fucking fuck, but Ontario seems to have quietly curtailed all SRS under OHIP. The provincial health minister is denying it, but they're not putting out a statement to say that it's unaffected.
posted by scruss at 6:33 PM on May 17


Wtf
posted by odinsdream at 6:34 PM on May 17


At the risk of being prescribed a tin foil hat, I’m beginning to believe the Dem leadership is complicit in the revocation of democracy. They aren’t doing anything to stop the madness. Sure, they’ve read the Report into the record. Big deal. They’ve made stern noises at lawbreakers, but done nothing to rein them in. They’ve been disappointed in the behavior of traitors, but have done nothing to stop the traiting. They have allowed the usurping of the Lege powers and allowed a royal prerogative presidency.

I will be dead before even half the judges trump has gotten into courts will be gone. The Dems are quietly letting the country get destroyed while making concerned faces and promising the next election, that will surely let them do something.

The Dem leadership resistance is nothing but theatre, there’s no there, there.

So, what do we do? Like, seriously, what do we do? I’m too old to go to another country, they don’t want our aging genxers either. If there’s a civil war, I’m an openly middle eastern, ultra liberal leftist in the deep heart of Teahadistan. I’m concerned that if we go to war with Iran, they’ll start rounding up everyone with Persian or Persian seeming heritage, I mean we’ve already got the camps being built. Republicans don’t care which brown people they’re hurting, as long as they’re hurting someone. The days of Japanese internment camps don’t seem so far away, these days.

And the Dem leadership does nothing of substance. About any of it. They joke with the offenders, oh isn’t it funny how you flaunt the law, mr attorney general.

I’m beginning to think they are complicit, and they hijacked the Blue Wave movement just so they could defang it and then smother it.

I don’t know where to turn for hope, but it is surely not the politicians who claim to represent us.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 7:02 PM on May 17 [6 favorites]


Fucking Coalition is on track to win the fucking Australian fucking Federal fucking election.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.
posted by flabdablet at 4:38 AM on May 18 [1 favorite]


Another three fucking years of fucking Old King Coal energy policy. Plus, the fucking Adani obscenity will almost certainly get up now.

FUCK!
posted by flabdablet at 4:45 AM on May 18 [3 favorites]


scruss, I have heard from someone trying to access top surgery that technically it’s not a quota, but they have reached the funding limit, so it ends up being the same thing in practice. And once you have been approved for funding you can’t turn around and pay out of pocket until your funding approval expires. Ugh this government.
posted by wellred at 5:43 AM on May 18


My bff and I had a trip planned for July through the deep south, and it was gonna be a historical and architectural trip but thanks to these fucking assholes it's been repurposed as Deep South Abortion Road trip 2019. We're still in planning phases but it seems like we'll be visiting the abortion centers in Georgia and Alabama, bringing them donations and love and support. Fuck everything.
posted by greermahoney at 9:54 AM on May 18 [14 favorites]


I thought about what I would do to staunch all this bullshit, and while it never would have been feasible (and still probably wouldn't have worked).

When I won the Civil war, I would have abolished the Senate and have a unicameral legislature.

"You want states rights? fuck you not only do you not have them, you fuckers won't even be represented anymore. The time for your rural, depopulated bullshit has come to an end."

It's not a solution I like, I definitely understand WHY it exists as a stopgap, but ... this whole BFE Joe gets to have more say than Cityslicker Aisha (and yes, I chose that name on purpose, because we know WHY BFE Joe is an asshat) is bullshit and it should have ended when we stopped supposedly ended the "States Rights" assholes.

IF you can't force this change when you literally "won" a civil war, then when?

That is the ultimate failure of the North.
posted by symbioid at 1:48 PM on May 18 [2 favorites]


You know, I think if N Hawthorne were alive, he might have something to say about this intense insistence on the idea that a woman's body can be regulated to the point where she's a baby machine at the same time our science is screaming at us that there's no way we can regulate nature in a way that will sustain our current standard of life. We want to pin a Scarlet A on our Hesters of today to keep out the bad storms and other iterations of a changed scary nature away.

Sorry, I really shouldn't get so stoned and start writing on metafilter.
posted by angrycat at 2:48 PM on May 18 [1 favorite]


Nah, you're spot on. Republicans would literally choose to harm women over saving the planet.
posted by odinsdream at 2:57 PM on May 18 [1 favorite]


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
posted by daybeforetheday at 5:56 PM on May 18


I can't shake the nagging feeling that this Dem primary is like the 2018 California Senate primary that utterly failed to produce a viable challenger to Diane "Shut up kid, I've been doing this for 30 years and it's going great" Feinstein. The progressive left was fragmented among a bunch of candidates and none of them developed anywhere near the momentum needed to mount a credible challenge, so even when De Leon beat the Republican to go against her in the general he never had a realistic shot. I don't want to see the same pattern lead to an anointing of Biden but I don't see how to prevent it.
posted by contraption at 10:08 PM on May 18 [2 favorites]


I managed not to tell an anti-choice troll (friend of a friend who pretended to be legitimately interested in conversation) "fuckety bye" when I took my leave but I am regretting it.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:38 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]


I am so angry at Joe Biden right now. Flames--on the side of my face
posted by angrycat at 1:33 PM on May 19 [3 favorites]


We are so fucked. And the rich white Democrats are going to make disappointed faces about how shameful and impolite the Republicans are as they round up folks, cage babies, disenfranchise votes, stack the courts for decades to come...but gosh, those rich folks sure do like their tax cuts a whole lot more than they like the AOCs, or the climate change kids, or the gun control kids, or people dying because they can't get medications because America lets pharma companies charge $2000 for a drug that sells for $8.00 everywhere else in the world.

The Democratic leadership is not going to do anything to stop this march into totalitarianism. If anything, I think they are secretly applauding it. They are in no danger from these policies, at least, not yet. The media is going to push Biden as the savior. Biden is not going to save us. Pelosi is not going to save us.

I don't know that we can be saved. But we are surely, and truly, fucked.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 8:10 PM on May 19 [8 favorites]


Forty years ago, my friend's dad asked us to clear an outbuilding and I picked up a box of old papers and wound up getting a wasp facial. Forgot about that until an hour ago when I was clearing an outbuilding and picked up a box of old papers and...

Those who forget history...
posted by Mr. Yuck at 7:36 AM on May 20 [10 favorites]


I am so tired of the random moderation of the politics thread. Some people, including mods, are allowed to write long ass personal anecdotes, but I have had almost everything I’ve written be deleted, and the only answer I get is it doesn’t have a news link, or some other bullshit. I’m too gloomy for metafilter, it seems. I mean, if nobody wants to know what the temperature is with grass roots activists, then don’t blame us when you get surprised by trump 2 electric boogaloo.

Meanwhile, after being here for 18 years, I reckon it’s time to find a place where my voice is welcome, outside of the scream into the void ghetto of the fucking fuck thread.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 12:14 PM on May 20 [6 favorites]


It does seem as though we're being directed elsewhere.
posted by contraption at 1:59 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]


How is it even POSSible to be too gloomy right now!? Paula Poundstone had this California Climate Expert guy on her podcast, episode 44. He was all going on about how Cali is so cutting edge because they're going to make X progress towards Y essential climate goal by Z year, and Paula was all, "Oh, good, only fifteen years too late to avoid every person on the planet dying in a shitfire," and everybody laughed and she was left shrieking into the void, "WHY ARE YOU ALL SO CALM ABOUT THIS WTF WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE" and then they moved on to the next segment, about trombones or bandaids or girl scout cookies. I'm with Paula: doomsaying is appropriate right now because it is obvious we are in the hellbound handbasket.
posted by Don Pepino at 2:11 PM on May 20 [5 favorites]


My city had a neighborhood-level meeting to get feedback for their draft Climate Resiliency plan and even *that* started out with a presentation that was basically "shit is *totally fucked* and you should plan for regular power outages, flooding, landslides, and you should get to know your neighbors so the infirm and the young can be pulled to safety faster after the coming hugely powerful storms."

Like. None of it was cheery. And this was like. The corporate powerpoint guy. Talking to a bunch of civic-minded neighborhood women in Saint Paul.
posted by odinsdream at 2:28 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]


Certainly didn't go on and on about HOW TECHNOLOGY IS GONNA SAVE US. In fact it was more like "get used to biking everywhere. now."
posted by odinsdream at 2:29 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]


I'm a doomsayer. I've been running a doomsday cult over on Reddit for a couple of years now, and I've been posting incredibly bad news about our deteriorating environment from reliable sources at an average of four articles a week. If you're paying attention at all, the situation is incredibly, astonishingly, impossibly bad. We've broken our planet.

It's so bad that the global slide into authoritarianism is just a symptom.

We are, as a species, facing extinction. What happens in the next decade will determine whether every human effort up until this point becomes meaningless. What we do now will be the difference between scraping out a threadbare existence by the skin of our teeth and ceasing to exist altogether.

Because here's the thing... we're not going to be able to survive the atmosphere as it's going to be in a hundred years. Healthy adults might be able to breathe it for a while, but it's going to be deadly to gestating fetuses. Humans are really, really vulnerable to changes in atmospheric composition due to our huge brains, and we're already seeing the effects of what we're breathing on our children. And we have no way of stopping the changes to our atmosphere now.

If we want to survive as a species, we have to learn to build habitats which can provide us with breathable air, shelter from the increasingly chaotic environment, food, water, and the ability to continue doing research, because things are just going to keep getting worse. We've broken an enormously energetic, incredibly complex system, and it's just now starting to spin out of control. There's no way to avoid billions of people dying now, but we can, maybe, survive as a species. It's going to take a huge amount of work, a staggering amount of research, but... it'll be easier to colonize the Earth in its new state than it would be to colonize Mars, and that's not inconceivable.

At this point, nobody actually believes that world peace is going to break out and we're going to all get together and build the giant carbon-sucking machines that the IPCC says we need, reforest half the planet, get people to stop using fossil fuels, create enough energy infrastructure to substitute for it without generating enough carbon to make it moot, all while educating the population on reproductive health so as to moderate overpopulation. I mean, really... given what's going on in the world right now, is any of that likely? Would any of that happen unopposed?

Given the trajectory of the environmental crisis (always worse than expected, faster than predicted, worse than imagined), and the political situation (where even getting a politician to acknowledge that there's a problem is enormous progress), does it seem likely that we're going to be able to fix a planet that's just had millions of years' worth of energy dumped into it in a couple of centuries? Does that seem like a problem on a scale that humans can deal with?

On the other hand, we build cities all the time, we build giant bridges and tunnels and supercolliders, we planned D-day and the Manhattan Project, we can survive on the moon and in space. If we can envision colonizing Mars, then surviving the destruction of our own planet is, possibly, maybe, if we're incredibly fortunate and we work really hard, possible.

But unless we acknowledge that we're not invincible, that nobody is coming to solve this, that nobody knows how to fix this, then we won't be trying to figure out how to survive it. If we don't acknowledge the worst case scenario, we can't plan for it.

And we really need to start planning for it.
posted by MrVisible at 3:32 PM on May 20 [9 favorites]


MrVisible can you hook me up with a link to your other work on this? I really need it. MeMail is fine if you prefer it to be not connected with your account here.
posted by odinsdream at 4:55 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]


It's in my profile.
posted by MrVisible at 5:08 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]


I'm depressed that my generation will be the last one to have any kind of decent life and but meanwhile my life still sucks. Seems like a waste!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 5:29 PM on May 20 [8 favorites]


I have had the most hellish ten days of my life. The only upside is I'm no longer constipated. Drinking and singing to bad musicals. Fuck everything.
posted by daybeforetheday at 3:08 AM on May 21 [2 favorites]


Two more thoughts:

A) I do NOT understand how political posturing can possibly be more important than jailing the fuckers running the country right now.

B) I would like to remind all of us that the mods are people too, and they're worried about the same colossal shit we're all worried about. They're doing their best to manage a bunch of worried people, WHILE they too are worried. And they're damn polite and gentle about it. I've had plenty of comments deleted, but I get what the mod mission is about. So cut them some fucking slack for being human and imperfect - just like us.
posted by yoga at 5:27 AM on May 21 [6 favorites]


A week after my last post in this thread (concerning a mid-air collision between two small planes full of vacationing visitors) our community had another tragic and fatal crash last night.
posted by Nerd of the North at 11:30 AM on May 21 [3 favorites]


JUST FUCKING LEAK THE RETURNS, IRS
posted by fluttering hellfire at 4:33 PM on May 21 [5 favorites]


I'm feeling less and less like metafilter is a community where I belong. Just scrolling the Metafilter posts, the things that people choose to highlight are not interesting to me or where I want to put my focus. It's not that the posts aren't notable or interesting. They're just not my cup of tea. When I see posts asking for music recs or discussing books, I hardly see musicians, authors and books that I love (and I often find more community in this regard on goodreads). It might just be what I've seen lately and will change, but I'm starting to feel a bad taste in my mouth. People aren't on the same page about social justice issues, and I don't really feel like the community comprises of many POC of which I am a part. I no longer have a FB account and Metafilter had replaced my need for social interaction online. But I notice that I get stressed by seeing so many people thinking a certain way that's just totally different from me, and it's unsettling. Not that I want to live in an echo chamber, but it's annoying when some Mefites say things like "Mefites" think X most of the time on a certain issue. Which makes me feel like an outsider. Mefites shouldn't be a monolith, but I'm starting to understand that it seems to be, and it doesn't seem to include me and many others like me. I wonder if there have been conversations about this before and what has come of those conversations.
posted by jj's.mama at 11:21 AM on May 23 [28 favorites]


Oh, definitely there have been, and lots of queer and PoC folks have just outright had to leave as a result of not only those specific conversations but the overall culture as well.
posted by odinsdream at 12:16 PM on May 23 [8 favorites]


I would say also, if you have the energy and there’s stuff you’re interested in, post it, there may be kore of us than you think who would enjoy it. I’m so desperately exhausted all of the time, but I always like seeing things and would comment, it’s just the idea of even putting together links for a well researched comment is beyond me right now.
posted by corb at 12:22 PM on May 23 [5 favorites]


Please post things that interest you. Even if it's just a link with a single line of explanation.
posted by Etrigan at 12:47 PM on May 23 [3 favorites]


I mean. I did that recently, and got a non-zero amount of comments that were basically "nu uh, u DO have to job and work" as if that wasn't FUCKING OBVIOUS and MAYBE ONE OF THE REASONS for the existence of the essay I posted.

I'm hard agreeing with jj's.mama that this place sure thinks it's a lot more righteously progressive than it Actually Is. For my antinationalist, antifacist, antiwhiteness, anticapitalist, queer-as-fuck needs I have to go elsewhere on the internet (currently a few mastodon instances).
posted by odinsdream at 12:54 PM on May 23 [20 favorites]


It's pretty demoralizing, I mean.
posted by odinsdream at 12:54 PM on May 23 [3 favorites]


Apropos of the particular current news about Pelosi's latest PR around avoiding impeachment: WHA TTHE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NANCY
posted by odinsdream at 1:09 PM on May 23


FWIW odinsdream I loved that essay and I was mystified how far afield some people went to post overly complicated responses that had really nothing to do with it. When I bet a lot of people who actually took the time to read the essay itself came away from it like I did, feeling reminded that my value as a person is not at all about the things I do (or fail to do) all day.
posted by sallybrown at 1:10 PM on May 23 [8 favorites]


Thank you for mentioning that. Plenty of people *did* appreciate it. I'm just dismayed by the number of comments that were so fucking rude about the whole idea. Like, yes, we all know it actually Does Matter if you have money. And like, I'm not really wanting to come off like "whaa my post" because I don't actually feel that way. I just feel like the emotional energy required to feel up to posting something even mildly "challenging" is so quickly shot to fucking pieces by rude-ass commenters who want to shit all over something and apparently just refuse to take a fucking walk instead.
posted by odinsdream at 1:16 PM on May 23 [5 favorites]


Oh, that post! thank you for it. I didn't read the article because I have the attn. span of a gnat and also I woke up cruelly early that day and had very little sleep and was consequently even worse than usual, but I read: "You do not exist to be used. Your personhood, your value, does not correlate with how measurable your achievements are or how they benefit the capitalist underpinnings of society. Your life is of purpose because it’s yours. Because you’re here, you exist in this moment, to be here, to be as unapologetic and unwaveringly unproductive as you so desire." It aligned perfectly with my disinclination to do anything or make any measurable difference in the world that day and was just exactly what I needed to read at that moment. I would have done a fist pump had I had the energy to make a fist.
posted by Don Pepino at 1:29 PM on May 23 [5 favorites]


Thanks to those who reached out. I just posted something on the blue. I usually come across something I want to post but I like to process my thoughts and then I get busy. I think of making it a really thorough post with related links and it becomes overwhelming and I move on. So today I just posted one link like Etrigan suggested.
posted by jj's.mama at 2:00 PM on May 23 [13 favorites]


And it lasted about 15 minutes.
posted by jamjam at 2:30 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


I'd feel a lot better about "sorry, outragefilter, boom" if that post about slagging on some random heiress wasn't still standing.
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:36 PM on May 23 [7 favorites]


Fuck Twitter
Fuck the comments
Fuck the bots
Just as lame as Facebook
I quit em both
Easier than you might think
Why doesn't everyone?
Fuckit.
posted by HyperBlue at 3:32 PM on May 23


Why the FUCK was that deleted!?!
posted by odinsdream at 5:21 PM on May 23 [6 favorites]


Maybe if you'd have padded it with links about how white people feel it would've stayed.
posted by odinsdream at 5:23 PM on May 23 [18 favorites]


"some loser" on the megathread:
At this point I feel like Trump proclaiming himself an "Extremely Stable Genius" at a rally is like the laziest retelling of "The Emperor's New Clothes" possibly ever.
Great. We thought we were living through Stupid Watergate, it turns out instead it's Stupid Easy-to-read Fairy Tales for Children Ages 5-8.

Fucking hell.
posted by mmoncur at 7:19 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


jj’s.mom thank you for the post, even if it was deleted. I’m glad at least a few of us saw the story when we wouldn’t have otherwise.
posted by sallybrown at 8:54 PM on May 23 [7 favorites]




Thank goodness I had back to back events today and just saw that my post was deleted. I appreciate the people who liked it. It's funny, actually, because I was at a museum tonight for an event and my colleague and I laughed at how there seemed to be some unspoken norms that we weren't privy to. At one point we weren't following norms. Then in another area, we decided to follow the first norms yet others were cutting in front of us which wasn't happening at the first area. All this to say, metafilter is much like this experience. And it's really fucking annoying. In the end, we enjoyed the event by being flexible. I'm trying to be flexible here on metafilter but it's still frustrating.
posted by jj's.mama at 9:48 PM on May 23 [29 favorites]


Right, I read the article on the heiress and it was the most useless piece of garbage. I didn't learn about the things I wanted to learn about ie: how their family did what they did. And the writer was throwing shade by the way he described her interactions, etc. How is that not outragefilter? Maybe there were other links in there but I still left the post uninformed about the real issue.
posted by jj's.mama at 9:54 PM on May 23 [4 favorites]


Good lord. Thanks for posting that in the first place, jj's.mama, and thanks to Little Dawn for posting the deleted thread here. I can't believe it got deleted. It's on the same continuum of weird deletions that the early Notre Dame fire postdeletions fell on, just at the opposite end. Notre Dame was a horrifying disaster in full flush that we couldn't do anything about but that people in Paris were reacting to in the moment. BMFA slurring seventh graders is the opposite of that, it's not people mourning a done deal, it's people pointing out a looming disaster at the point when it can still be stopped. If we think of racist fuckery like fire, like if you put out the little fires while they're little, you won't get Kristalnacht or Charlottesville. Had the tikitorch crew been spotted and derailed while they were still at the verbal sniping stage, Charlottesville would've been like their next rally, in--is this irony? I think it's irony.--Boston.

BMFA crushing the spirits of seventh grade black and brown children is a little tinder fire that, if enough people see it, can't grow. You need to see this stuff happening so that you can recognize it happening in your own fucking city and your own fucking art museum. Just this a.m. my boyfriend's leaving to ride his bike to work. He carefully puts his dress shirt and tie in his satchel so they won't get sweaty, and he's going to hop on the bike in just his undershirt, but then he goes back to grab an overshirt because he says whenever he rides in just his t-shirt people yell slurs at him because they assume he's a Mexican.

I suppose he should've stfu about that, huh? Yeah, outrage filter! Don't looooook aaaaaaat iiiiiiiit and it'll gooooooo awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! That's helpful. FUCK!
posted by Don Pepino at 8:14 AM on May 24 [16 favorites]


Yes, thank you, Little Dawn for reposting my deleted "outrage filter" post here. I'm still a newbie, so I had no way of knowing how to access that.

Don Pepino, well said! You're spot on in your analysis. This is why Claudia Rankine wrote the hybrid-genre book, Citizen. In an interview she said she wondered, how did we get to this place where black folks, many youth, are killed by the people supposed to "serve and protect"? She has a running list that gets updated in each new edition. It's staggering. So what she's found is that it starts small... microagressions, intolerance, exclusion. If those aren't checked, well it gets bigger. And that's exactly what you've also pointed out. So, Metafilter, has yet again highlighted my point that POC and their issues are not welcome here. What a shame. FUCK THAT.
posted by jj's.mama at 9:37 AM on May 24 [15 favorites]


Yeah, clearly, ppl on the blue want to see random reposted YouTube videos of their niche interests whereas people don't want to hear about what happens at a fine art museum in Boston because people will be full of outrage. Have your niche videos, that's fine, but it's fucking discrimination at this point. Especially when others found the post helpful and it could have steered into a larger conversation around arts and white spaces, etc. Metafilter is basically the Boston fine arts museum. Those 7th grade kids were mocked and sneered at and basically metafilter, too, is saying, you don't matter. This is a WHITE SPACE. Awesome. I would love recommedations from other POC of another space to engage with because MF has proven it's not it. You know, it's no secret in the POC community who the most exclusionary people are: white privileged liberals who are smugly "woke." Unaware of how you hurt the community. Thanks a lot. Fucking fuck.
posted by jj's.mama at 9:51 AM on May 24 [39 favorites]


It's basically, White fragility filter.
posted by jj's.mama at 9:52 AM on May 24 [19 favorites]


I'm white af and this is clear as day to me. Thank you for being here and thank you for speaking up.
posted by odinsdream at 9:57 AM on May 24 [10 favorites]


Also white af, also almost always impressed by the work of MeFi's mod team, and I think that was a bad deletion.

It will be interesting to see followup on this story that reveals whether the BMFA does actually walk its talk or whether that's all merely another @jack-style "commitment".

What are the guidelines for linking back to a deleted post in a followup?
posted by flabdablet at 6:08 PM on May 24 [4 favorites]


What are the guidelines for linking back to a deleted post in a followup?

I went to the MetaFilter Deleted Posts blog to look at the post, and because this is the venting thread, the painful irony of the post title seemed relevant to post here. As much as this thread is for venting, it can also be a place for solidarity and support, and that was my intention. I also think the Metafilter community could benefit from a MetaTalk on the larger issues raised here, but this fucking thread is not designed for that discussion.
posted by Little Dawn at 8:28 PM on May 24 [4 favorites]


Yeah, it's a safe bet that a larger portion of site readership who look at MeTa don't bother to read the venting threads, and that's certainly a wise choice for them.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:36 PM on May 24


Fuck people who are working to erase trans people. Fuck this HHS rule.
posted by hijinx at 9:12 PM on May 24 [6 favorites]


That was a good deletion, because all by itself there was nothing but Outragefilter. I agree that "it could have steered into a larger conversation around arts and white spaces, etc.", as jj's.mama put it, but there was no way to steer the discussion in that direction instead of in any other direction, since Metafilter doesn't allow the person who started a thread to take any part in guiding it (it's called "threadsitting"), or even to do any "editorializing" at all.

Since there have been plenty of blogposts/hot-takes/articles on this event, quite a few of which go into the subject of "arts and white spaces," I think it would be great (and 100% OK by MeFi rules) to post links to those, with the original link as a back-up. The "larger conversation" is something worth having here.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 9:53 PM on May 24 [3 favorites]


I think the problem is that some of us were talking about the difficulty of making well crafted posts, and were told “just do a post even if it’s one link”, so jjmama did, but rn was probably not following this thread and had no idea it had been said/was encouraged, and so was unaware of how erasing it would feel.
posted by corb at 11:29 PM on May 24 [15 favorites]


^
Oh, that sounds right--this would be the thread to not watch, obviously, on a site with multiple threads about to catch fire at any moment, so the mod would've missed the discussion. Just, but, nevertheless: in the build-up to whatEVer MAGA nightmare is obviously brewing in the US and the world at large in the next few years unless and until we succeed in clawing back the reins from the loons currently driving us to perdition, it would be so cool to have a policy to not delete threads about abuse of POCs, LGBTQ people, women, immigrants, the whole targeted and vulnerable subaltern. Not least because many of us have dumped facebook because of shit like facebook pulled with not deleting the "Nancy Pelosi drunk" altered videos and therefore we rely on this site for the heads up. C'mon. Have a care.
posted by Don Pepino at 5:05 AM on May 25 [12 favorites]


I would love recommedations from other POC of another space to engage with because MF has proven it's not it.

Twitter (for things more on the POC/racism side) and reddit (for leftist stuff that is more econ/socialist leaning). I mean I do talk about that stuff here but I realize that the reaction will largely be pretty bad.
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 8:27 AM on May 27 [4 favorites]


Oh, fuck. It seriously takes a lot for me to cry, but to read that the Supreme Court won't hear the case on transgender school bathroom policy, which means, per the ACLU, that "this is a victory for trans students and educators nationwide," I'm just a blubbering mess of relief and joy. It does get so hard to believe that our system of justice can protect all of us, but it's things like this that help me emphatically say fuck off to the forces of darkness that try so hard to keep us down. After I stop with the sniffling and tears of joy, of course.
posted by Little Dawn at 11:36 AM on May 28 [12 favorites]


Looks like jj's mama has buttoned.
posted by 23skidoo at 2:26 AM on May 29 [1 favorite]


Fucking hell.
posted by odinsdream at 5:05 AM on May 29 [5 favorites]


I've written/rewritten/deleted-before-posting this comment like 4 times cuz I can't figure out the right way to express it, but maybe it's time to retire the phrase "outragefilter" from usage here. "But outrage was the only type of comment that post would have generated" is like, your opinion man, and it speaks to a narrowness in thinking to not realize that "sharing personal experiences which are similar to the ones in the post" is a completely valid way to have a decent conversation around a thin but negative post.
posted by 23skidoo at 8:57 AM on May 29 [28 favorites]


^^^^well said, IMO
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 9:03 AM on May 29 [1 favorite]


Fuckᶠᵁᶜᴷ
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:19 PM on May 29


I think it's honestly a deeply complex problem, especially when you consider that a lot of people are suffering from trauma around the problem, that doesn't have a one-size-fits-all solution.

Many users on this site have expressed that they find themselves in many cases effectively retraumatized by the overwhelming nature and presence of material about our current hellscape. At the same time, many are handling their trauma best by speaking about it and sharing our often similar experiences communally.

The wide gulf between these two views is why the Fucking Fuck thread exists at all, because our talking about these things in thread was proving hugely traumatizing for both users and mods alike.

I don't have a good answer for how to handle this broadly on the site, but I think it's important to note that in many cases, you are dealing with members of a community who are having very different reactions to their ongoing trauma, and a balancing of needs is not just appropriate but desired. We should remember to be kind to each other about it.
posted by corb at 12:26 PM on May 29 [8 favorites]


Uh, the cookies-and-milk emoji's got deleted from the end of the thread? Too controversial?
posted by petebest at 12:38 PM on May 29


misclick; undone
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:40 PM on May 29 [2 favorites]


I just don’t understand how I ended up in this strange world where Prince is dead and Donald Trump is the President...
posted by sallybrown at 6:23 AM on May 30 [7 favorites]


My friend showed up to the pub for another friend's 21st with this guy she's been seeing for a few months now.

The last time I saw her, she had this horrible story about him negging her and was saying she knew he wasn't good for her.

Tonight, he left the pub pretty quickly and as soon as she was gone, her shoulders sagged and she said "he makes me feel terrible about myself and absolutely worthless". Then started to berate herself for opening up. Of course we all tried in various ways to reassure her and suggest that while she's incredibly capable and makes her own decisions, we don't as her friends think that's a healthy way for a relationship to be.

I'm hopeful that she will be able to navigate a course which is best for her, and that we will be able to offer her some small aid as her comrades, but it's always wretched to see the people you love in these sorts of situations. There's so little we can do really, we can try and be a net but she has to decide to jump.
Anyway, it's fucking shit, and I hate it.
posted by AnhydrousLove at 8:17 AM on May 30 [3 favorites]


I really can't fucking believe that in large swaths of the fucking country, people who can get pregnant, having sex that could make one pregnant, have to take a fucking pregnancy test pretty much every fucking week to have any fucking hope of getting an abortion in time.
posted by nakedmolerats at 7:11 PM on May 30 [7 favorites]


10,000 silent protesters march peacefully to the fence of the immigrant concentration camp. Their only tools being solidarity and a few wire cutters. Slowly they surround the stark facility, their voices joined in song. The fence goes down and as ICE agents attempt to corral the demonstration they realize they cannot fire upon their own unarmed, peaceful countrymen. The singing protesters move forward. The tired and hopeless immigrants are freed and absorbed into the singing, peaceful crowd. They are welcomed with hugs and smiles. The crowd disperses in all directions, immigrants taken to welcoming homes with friendly faces offering warm meals and safe beds, a shower even. They are shown the compassion and love any weary traveller should receive. Many of the hosts are capable of providing not only food and shelter, but more...sponsorship. Eventually the scared, tired, and beaten immigrants become friends. They are afforded the opportunity to apply for asylum, they are reunited with their families, they are treated with kindness and human decency. They become Americans.
posted by HyperBlue at 2:09 PM on May 31 [3 favorites]


(I'm all out of fucks today)
posted by HyperBlue at 2:16 PM on May 31 [1 favorite]


I was coming in here to say "fuck," but instead I think I'll go live in HyperBlue's world for a while.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:57 PM on May 31 [2 favorites]


I too would like live in a world where "as ICE agents attempt to corral the demonstration they realize they cannot fire upon their own unarmed, peaceful countrymen" doesn't sound farcically implausible. The real ICE would open fire without hesitation.
posted by contraption at 10:26 PM on May 31 [7 favorites]


Envisioning the world I desire.
posted by HyperBlue at 5:12 AM on June 1 [4 favorites]


Virginia Beach, god damn it. Fuck the USA's stupid stupid love for guns, and the needless deaths it causes. I'm not always a fan of my benighted state of residence (exhibit A: governor's blackface scandal), but I'm just so sad today for Virginia Beach and for the families of the dead, almost all of whom were public servants of the state.
posted by gudrun at 12:27 PM on June 1 [4 favorites]


small potatoes compared to death and destruction and imprisonment but, fuck landlords who are just willing to let their beautiful, old, well-made buildings become crumbling deathtraps because some shit-ass developer will buy them someday anyway.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 5:23 PM on June 1 [7 favorites]


When will people stop saying 'seem' and start saying 'is'? As in that person "seems like a fascist", versus "is a fascist".
posted by ZeusHumms at 5:48 PM on June 1 [5 favorites]


Fuck Boston up 3-0 in the 1st. LGB
posted by fluttering hellfire at 6:22 PM on June 1


I'm exhausted from the nonstop Trump Administration horror show. I always read and contribute to the megathreads during presidential elections, but in the past that usually meant intense involvement for the year, year-and-a-half before the election, and then it ended until the next presidential election.

I really hoped that the last election cycle would end with a Hillary Clinton win and I would have a break from the daily horror show and keep tabs on a boring competent administration. I have a daughter and I really, really wanted her to see that a woman could become president. (And whatever her flaws may be, I believe it's indisputable that she's a better person and would've been a better president. Granted, that's a low bar.)

Now my wife and I have the challenge of trying to raise a good person who knows right from wrong in an environment that shows there is absolutely no benefit in trying to live a moral life. We have to raise a daughter in a country that hates women. I have family members I love dearly and deeply but I can hardly bear to talk to them because they support a horrible person who's put people in concentration camps. Not a day has passed since he took office that I would have been surprised to find than we had nuked some random country.

I wish I could ignore the megathreads but I feel a responsibility and civic duty to participate and put down markers that say This is Not OK. It's just exhausting.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:05 PM on June 1 [11 favorites]


So today involved a weather delayed return flight home from Atlanta seeing one son in a therapy center, meaning 8 hours sleeping on the floor overnight at DFW, then having to race home to get my elderly mum back on a plane to NZ (not sure when i’ll see her again - maybe this year - maybe next), and literally as I’m hugging her goodbye post-security at SFO, finding out via text that my other 4 year old is in the ER after a seizure. So needed to keep brave face and smiles up so as to not to stress my mum before her 18 hours of flights. And now I just boarded a late night flight to Seattle hoping all is well in the ER. Oh and we have a contentious IEP meeting with the school for first kid on a Tuesday which this chaos is derailing. Confused? Yeah tell me about it. I binge watched Catch 22 on Hulu from DFW floor last night - that scene were Yoyo just runs down the runway naked and screaming? Yeah seems about right.

This day - I mean - fuck this all.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 9:11 PM on June 2 [5 favorites]


Looks like jj's mama has buttoned.

That their post was deleted after all but being workshopped here is a bad fuckup on the part of the mods and is part of a wider pattern. I'm disappointed. jj's mama's point about metafilter being deeply exclusionary compared to other online spaces is correct.
posted by ocular shenanigans at 1:46 AM on June 4 [3 favorites]


I'll just quickly address a couple of things, ocular shenanigans, and ask that larger issues related to site policy be discussed in a separate Metatalk: the fucking fuck (and later the hyucking hyuck) threads were specifically created to cut down on the overwhelming number of comments in the US politics megathreads that were not about actual news but just expressing anger and despair or making jokes; we were reading hundreds of thousands of comments (multiple novels worth of commentary; an overwhelming amount) and having to delete massive numbers of comments after having a couple of metatalks about trying to keep the megathreads about the news itself more than reactions. So these Metatalk threads were made as a place for people to bleed off that energy that moderators *did not have to keep up with* along with everything else. So these threads were probably close to the last place we would be looking to see if there was anything we needed to deal with or be aware of.

For this reason we didn't know that this thread was being used to discuss dissatisfaction with the site or to workshop a post. And this is getting into what would be better in a separate Metatalk thread about site policy, but we have always said that posts that are just single link news posts about something that will make everyone furious are usually not great discussions and have talked in depth many times about different ways to approach posts like this, and that we are always directly available to help with that. Not everyone will have read those Metatalk posts in the past, so it's totally fine to bring up and discuss again in a new post.

That's the short of it, and I understand that people might want to talk this out, but I'll ask again that it be a separate post dedicated to that topic, and that this remain reactions to the news in general, and not about issues with the site. Thanks.
posted by taz (staff) at 4:48 AM on June 4 [5 favorites]


I understand that people might want to talk this out, but I'll ask again that it be a separate post dedicated to that topic, and that this remain reactions to the news in general, and not about issues with the site. Thanks.

A related MeTa: Is it time to retire "outragefilter" as deletion reason?
posted by Little Dawn at 2:03 PM on June 4 [2 favorites]


I had a recent episode the other day where I posted a "YOU DO NOT ALLOW POLICE AT PRIDE", and someone who interpreted my politics based upon almost a decade old phase of Gulag Memes I used to post and apparently despite our continued evolution of understanding through the past years still called me a Marxist (with the implication: Marxist = Stalinist, I'm sure Rosa really loves that association).

Anyways, I was annoyed, but whatever... In the past this individual has asked me to tamp down on slamming liberals for their taking advantage of the left and slamming Hillary, etc... and I did so out of respect for him. A few times, in fact.

Yesterday, someone in an FB group we're in posted the Alabama asshole politicians who wants to kill gay people, and someone replied to it asking why they shouldn't just start shooting it up (it was obviously meant as a stress relief joke - so I jokingly retorted that this liberal friend of ours in this group would jump in and say no to joke about violence (since you know, my own gulag jokes were over the top in the past - and I'm still tainted with that brush)

So later I get a message from the liberal friend saying they were triggered due to their own brushes with homophobic violence. I look and see something about "how can you think i would side with them" unsure what he meant, but not having time, energy to explain myself and once again out of respect for them being triggered, apologized, clearly and plainly, no excuses.

Then I decided I'm tired of people misunderstanding my points, so I just unfriended him, and a lot of leftish friends (anarchist trans women, liberals, anti-sjw commies, etc... A broad spectrum of people who can't agree to get along, and I try my best to do so, but I'm just so tired of people acting like everyone else is acting in bad faith)

It tires me, I grow weary and nothing I see ever gives me hope we can fucking move past anything. So it put a sour taste in my mouth last night and I just need to vent.

WHY CAN'T WE ALL GET ALONG?

IT's SO TIRING having to explain the nuances of my points all the time.

So I ended the night playing Witcher and watching clips on Global Warming Doom.
yay.
posted by symbioid at 2:54 PM on June 5 [1 favorite]


« Older Metatalktail Hour: Self-Care   |   MetaUncontrollableGiggles Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments