MetaUncontrollableGiggles May 9, 2019 8:57 AM   Subscribe

We're nearly at the end of another week, let's talk about something else that is not related to politics. I was driving home from work yesterday and I witnessed a man walking a tiny Chihuahua on a leash, he was smoking a cigarette while also drinking from a beer can & was running a little bit late at crossing the cross-walk and did this kind of "I'm sorry." dance in front of me and the way he waved his hand and smiled caused me to burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, pure giggles. I'd love to hear stories of a similar nature, some situation that caused you to burst into pure random laughter/joy because you witnessed it or were a part of it. As always, be kind to yourself and others. Cheers.
posted by Fizz to MetaFilter-Related at 8:57 AM (69 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

I used to work in a building that had a pond behind it. There was a family of Canada geese that lived in the pond. They were ornery motherfuckers and to be avoided most of the year, but in the spring, they had little itty bitty fluffy puffy baby geesies. Bundles of yellow fur and floof and adorableness.

One day, as I was driving into work in kind of a cranky mood because my project was not going well. As I drove past the pond, Mr. and Mrs. Ornery Geese were leading the family of half a dozen young geeseses across the road to some fresh grass, and one little geesus was lagging behind. And he knew he was lagging behind, and he was running and running and running as fast as his fluffy puffy little legs could carry him. He got to the edge of one lawn, where there was a concrete curb for the road and ran straight off the edge of it, turned a complete somersault -- like, 10 out of 10, Olympic caliber somersault -- and kept running without breaking pace.

I laughed and I laughed and I laughed.

And no programmers were yelled at that day.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:21 AM on May 9 [27 favorites]


My dog has some hair loss on her hindquarters so I obviously wrote a song about it. I cracked myself up for several long minutes with the 1st two lines of the second verse, which came to me in a flash of inspiration (This can be sung to any generic bluesy tune).

Frankie The Puppy is a bald ass b*$%^
She's got bald patches but they don't even itch.
Frankie The Puppy is a bald ass mutt
She's missing the hairs on her butt.

Frankie The Puppy loves her mamas.
Frankie The Puppy's butt is missing some fuzz
Frankie The Puppy is lacking some hair
But Frankie the Puppy don't care.
posted by coppermoss at 9:33 AM on May 9 [19 favorites]


Once I saw a pug riding in a sidecar, wearing a leather helmet and goggles. I almost crashed my bicycle and will regret to the end of my life not getting photographic proof.
posted by Missense Mutation at 9:34 AM on May 9 [15 favorites]


I cracked myself up for several long minutes

I did that recently, with some true dad-level joke. But in true dad fashion, it wasn't fits of laughter, but minor "heh, heh ... heh heh" laughter. Which made me all the happier. I've forgotten the goofy joke now, sorry.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:36 AM on May 9 [7 favorites]


Once I saw a pug riding in a sidecar, wearing a leather helmet and goggles.

I saw something like this once in my life as well but I was driving and there was no legitimate way for me to safely take that photo. I seriously considered following the motorcycle for a few miles but I realized that was a bit creepy and ugh I'm just mad, it was so amazing.
posted by Fizz at 9:46 AM on May 9 [5 favorites]


Reposting from last weekend's Metatalktail Hour, but I doubled over laughing when I came downstairs last night to see my kitty-cat, Riker, sitting at my computer with a look on his face like he'd just been caught:
I thought you all should know that my 7-years-young orange tabby, Riker, has been impersonating me on this site for several months. I have no idea how this feline got access to my account, or why. This sort of behavior cannot be tolerated, and an example must be made of him. The punishment seems clear: let's make him into a meme.
posted by duffell at 9:58 AM on May 9 [23 favorites]


Not something I participated in but: I have, on more than one occasion, been taken over by audible giggling and laughter when out in the world and randomly remembering the way that Jeff Goldblum delivers the "it's mah birthdaaaaay" line in Thor: Ragnarok.
posted by lazaruslong at 9:59 AM on May 9 [8 favorites]


Damn it, lazaruslong, there's tea all over my keyboard now
posted by duffell at 10:05 AM on May 9 [2 favorites]


Have I mentioned how much I love the engineers at work?

They're busy inventing new cool things, and as a tech writer I get to watch them work.

There's currently a sign on the broken microwave that says "non-conforming material."

One engineer just informed me that the difference between 2 and 3 milliseconds is huge.

Another bounded into my office with great excitement, describing the awesome new central processor of the device.

Just the other day, I had this great conversation:

M: Ok, for the manual, is it X, Y, or Z?

E: It's Q.

M: Ok, Q it is.

E: No, wait a minute: it's really L.

M: L? Are you sure?

E: Yes.

M: Really? Is that your final answer?

E: YES!!! No, wait a minute. I think it's X, Y, or Z.

I love them so much.
posted by Melismata at 10:14 AM on May 9 [15 favorites]


Once I saw a pug riding in a sidecar, wearing a leather helmet and goggles.

This reminds me of one of the most delightful things I've ever seen that I still think about all the time. I already commented on it previously so I'll just copy and paste part of it here:
I was driving down I-70 and idly looked into the car I was passing. It was some kind of old school Ford sedan, and sitting in it, with their wacky suits and wild curly hair and make-up, were four clowns staring intently down the road. . . their long red noses bouncing up and down with every bump they hit on the road.
At the time the way they were so seriously looking down the road combined with their very large red bouncing noses made me cry so hard with laughter I had to take the next exit so I could pull over, and still laugh every time I remember it.
posted by barchan at 10:15 AM on May 9 [29 favorites]


I can't remember why but recently my youngest (just turned six) was angry at my husband for some reason and as he turned to stomp out of the kitchen in anger he whacked his head on the corner of the counter.

There was no blood/concussion so I have no regrets that my husband and I collapsed in silent laughter as irate child continued ranting in the dining room "fucking counter! cut off the corner"
posted by biggreenplant at 10:36 AM on May 9 [16 favorites]


There’s a guy who walks around Polk street in San Francisco with a tiny chihuahua in his pocket as he walks a duck on a leash. The duck is wearing special duck sandals and the dog is the smallest chihuahua I have ever seen. Sometimes his picture gets spread around imgur and I am here to say- he’s real, I have seen him- multiple times. He takes the tiny chihuahua out of his pocket so the dog can do his business and then pops him back in his pocket. The duck is a duck. Sometimes I really really love San Francisco.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:53 AM on May 9 [20 favorites]


I'm officiating our son's wedding this weekend, and I am completely, utterly paralyzed by fear, doubt, and anxiety. It's affecting my entire body. My gut is in knots that make me semi-nauseous, my entire body aches, my neck is tight and sore, and I have a bad headache.

I have so much to prepare, and not much time left to do it. I need to push-though this desire to just run away.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:14 AM on May 9 [8 favorites]


So, a few days ago I was taking a leak outside.

A rufous hummingbird flew right up to my crotch and cackled at and scolded my junk.

It was fucking terrifying. I thought there was about to be a horrible beak incident.
posted by loquacious at 11:23 AM on May 9 [35 favorites]


I need to push-though this desire to just run away.

Have you considered asking him to elope?

*ducks*
posted by loquacious at 11:24 AM on May 9 [2 favorites]


Dandelions. Big yellow splats of cheerful defiance in carefully tended lawns, spangleing the verges, then later a low fog of fairywand puffs that launch to new challenges on the breath of the wind or a pounce of a puppy. They always make me smile.
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 11:27 AM on May 9 [4 favorites]


I love that duffel has a cat named Riker and am picturing the cat swinging a hind leg over the litter box as he assumes the position.
posted by exogenous at 11:37 AM on May 9 [19 favorites]


Over breakfast the other morning my almost-five-year-old said, “Father, may I have some more cereal?” and then made the best crazy eyes and we both collapsed laughing. I love nonsensical kid humor.
posted by not_the_water at 11:49 AM on May 9 [11 favorites]


I have two cats: a tubby momcat and an energetic kidcat. They take turns harassing each other, with momcat lying in wait and using cunning to make brief charges that negate kidcat’s speed and agility advantages. Yesterday, early in the am, then breakfast had been eaten and shenanigans contemplated, I walked into the dining room to catch momcat charging at kidcat, who dodged under a table and whirled, ready to do battle. Momcat reconsidered and leapt onto the table in the most graceful arc I’ve seen from her. It was pure wuxia; should have had a bamboo grove set up for them.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:55 AM on May 9 [3 favorites]


Thor: Ragnarok

Seriously, this is a ridiculously enjoyable movie by any standard, and doubly so when compared to all the Super Srs Marvel movies. My wife pulls it up pretty often on Netflix, just to watch her favorite bits (I should buy a copy before Disney moves its Marvel content to Disney+).

The second most fun Marvel thing is a ridiculous little Punisher blind bag minifig. It's from a series of little pillow/ log-shaped characters, where instead of standing upright, they're on all fours? It's a thing. But it's hard to look all hard and serious when you're a cartoon pillow/ log. So whenever I see a Super Hardcore Dude with a Punisher logo on his truck or shirt, I just think of the little Punisher toy and smile. Who's the cutest Punisher? You are! You are!


Homo neanderthalensis: There’s a guy who walks around Polk street in San Francisco with a tiny chihuahua in his pocket as he walks a duck on a leash.

Seen here on Reddit, where you can find out more of who this guy is and his background from his comments on Reddit (it's his daughter's duck, and diapers are apparently necessary for cityduck, which makes sense.)
posted by filthy light thief at 11:59 AM on May 9 [8 favorites]


This isn't very wholesome, I'm afraid, but just thinking about this tweet sent me into hysterics for a couple of days after I saw it.

Bonus points for the possibly apocryphal "i received a formal complaint for calling my superior BIG SQUIDWARD".
posted by Countess Elena at 12:05 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


Two theater-related ones:

Waaaaaaaaay back in college, my sophomore year, a friend and I co-produced an evening of one-act plays in our dorm cafeteria. It was a cheap-ass production using some of the tech stuff we borrowed from an equally cheap-ass "talk show" that often set up in our cafeteria - especially the light board, which was literally constructed out of cardboard and tape and some hardware store dimmer switches, connected to a power strip; that in turn was connected to three clip lights on poles using about 85 yards of extension cords. The friend who designed our lights, K, warned us repeatedly that this was problematic from several standpoints, but still went ahead and helped us with it. We repeatedly had to struggle with the system losing power or shorting out or causing one or another issue during rehearsals, but struggled on.

Then during one of our performances, we were about midway through; I was standing in the back watching the proceedings while someone else ran the lights. So I didn't see any of the following unfold, and only heard things as they happened:

* First the POP of one of the power switches on the board violently shorting out,
* Then the tinkle of glass as the bulb for one of the stage lights exploded, and then -
* After a second, the sound of K laughing hysterically.

---

About 15 years after that incident: another theater, another show. This one actually has more official equipment. But it's just got a lot of it; this is a show that involves multiple costume changes, a strobe effect, a set of revolving blue-and-red lights from a police car, about 57 sound changes, three dance breaks, and the whole cast and crew leaping out from on the stage and behind the stage and out in the audience and behind the audience and the dressing rooms and my tech table and all. It was pretty chaotic even when things were working right.

But one show....first someone showed up feeling the last stages of food poisoning, so we had to rig up puke buckets strategically placed around the theater if they had to make a quick exit from their scene, which I think they did once. Then three cast members went up on their lines at one point. Someone tripped during the dance break. Someone nearly fell on an audience member. During the dance break, which had the most complicated lighting plot, half our board shorted out and we had to send two techies out onto the stage to do a total ninja light repair in the middle of the number; I couldn't help them becuase the sound board was shorting out at the same time. By the time one of the cast members bumped his head coming onto the stage for the final scene, we were already laughing helplessly (my co-stage manager pulled a napkin out of her pocket and started waving it when she saw that). But what tipped me over into hysteria was: one of the cast members nearly forgot to come out onstage during his curtain call, and when we asked him why, he confessed that it was because he'd seen a woman in the front row busily unwrapping a lollipop and been caught up watching her. I completely lost it for a good two and a half minutes and had to lie down in a dressing room to recover.

We called especially disastrous shows "lollipop shows" for the rest of the run.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:31 PM on May 9 [13 favorites]


My wife recently got this T-shirt. When it arrived, I looked at it and told her I would be ordering her a custom one with "current corpse" on it, and that I would hang on to it until it became relevant. We both laughed pretty hard at that, because we have the same sick sense of humour.
posted by nubs at 1:19 PM on May 9 [4 favorites]


Something I saw while driving around months ago that still makes me laugh: any incredibly beefy, angry-looking biker dude riding furiously down the road in his very classic biker-chic German-style coal scuttle helmet with a spike on top... while riding an 80cc scooter and also wearing a reflective orange safety vest.
posted by hanov3r at 1:26 PM on May 9 [5 favorites]


Monday morning, partway through my graduate work, and my tremendously serious Chaucer professor decided to read us "The Nun's Priest's Tale," in order to give us a taste of its proper pronunciation. And this man, this lovely, bright man, early on a Monday, gan gronen in his throte in the worst damn rooster noise I had heard since that weekend, which I had spent at a friend's farm, complete with a strutting, crowing Chauntecleer.

I laughed, a big, solid laugh from my belly.

And my professor gave me a Look.

I knew that I should have sobered up right that moment, but I swear to you: I could not stop laughing, and had to leave the room so I could get my breathing and my face back under control. I think I hurt his ego, which was absolutely not what I intended, and, in retrospect, it was probably unwise to laugh at his...inadequate, uh, bird in front of others.

It was terrible, though. Really bad.

Remembering those brief moments of freedom, of laughing until I was in tears, of recognizing a Respected Authority as just another guy capable of awful stand-up, well, that helped me get through the rest of grad school, and I am smiling as I think of it now, as I look out the window at Ollie, the Best Rooster So Far. COCK-A DOODLE-DOO, MOTHERFUCKERS!
posted by MonkeyToes at 1:32 PM on May 9 [13 favorites]


The bathrooms on the top floor of my library have been having . . . issues, and this morning my co-worker texted me a picture of the men's bathroom urinals piled awkwardly on the floor, with the subtitle "But is it art?"

I did some grinning.
posted by aspersioncast at 1:36 PM on May 9 [17 favorites]


I was a university student, from a pretty WASP-ish / voices-are-never-raised family, visiting my best friend Jehan's parents' home for the weekend.

Jehan and his mum and dad and I were in the kitchen when a Disagreement arose over who owned a certain pair of socks. Jehan and his dad were screaming at each other. They offered furious arguments about when the socks had gone into the laundry, who had bought them, definitive proofs, etc., ad terrifying. Thirty horrible seconds into it, I realized they were completely joking and collapsed into the corner, covering my head to hide my shameful laughter.

In retrospect, I should have noticed how hard Jehan's mum rolled her eyes.
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:37 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


nubs: My wife recently got this T-shirt. When it arrived, I looked at it and told her I would be ordering her a custom one with "current corpse" on it, and that I would hang on to it until it became relevant. We both laughed pretty hard at that, because we have the same sick sense of humour.

There's a club for people like you. I may or may not already have that shirt. (It's a Cat and Girl thing, from *checks date* almost twelve years ago.)


MonkeyToes: And this man, this lovely, bright man, early on a Monday, gan gronen in his throte in the worst damn rooster noise I had heard

Has anyone in this room ever even heard a rooster?
posted by filthy light thief at 1:47 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


The video in this FPP ("This Product Has Been Tested By Animals") is pretty damn good.

I'm home with a cold, and something about the idea that the bears use two-pawed chest compressions to try to break stuff just makes me crack up. All I really need now is longer footage of that, with Stayin' Alive as the soundtrack. You know, to make sure the bears have the right rhythm to try to resuscitate the coolers...
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 2:36 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


Last Sunday I went for a wander down the nearby trendy street with Mr Random and our 9 year old mini randomness. We passed a laptop repair place with a bunch of old laptops for sale in the window and strangely a very smug looking kittey cat happily snoozing away on the chosen keyboard watching all the busy hipsters zipping past.

Needless to say we stopped to 'smooth the cat' albeit with the glass preventing actual furry contact. Kittey obliged by showing off the glorious underbelly and rolling about like a loon sliding off the laptops backwards. No idea why the shop has a cat in the window but why not I suppose.
Whilst the locals driving by wondered wtf we were up to scratching a closed shop window and making cat sounds at laptops. It made my Sunday.
posted by RandomInconsistencies at 2:37 PM on May 9 [8 favorites]


Reading y'all's stories has me giggling like a madman!
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:08 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


I just want to point out that the new merch ( [more inside] tote bags!) look pretty decent and cost only $21 - same as in, err, town I guess. Inflation, whatchya gonna do amirite?
posted by mce at 3:46 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


Usually don't have much for these threads but on the doggie topic I happened to run into this doggie walking down the street the other day. Would not have realized it but was in front of a skate shop and I quipped to dog's person that big dog on skateboard would be great on youtube, she threw back that dog likes riding in a sidecar. Was tickled to have met a twitter celeb.
posted by sammyo at 4:34 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


I work in an elementary school. There are signs hung in the hallways that change from time to time that encourage character development in various ways. I got a big laugh from seeing the one that read, "SELF CONTROL: Only you are in charge," hanging next to a bathroom with another sign on its door: "DO NOT USE."
posted by jaruwaan at 6:10 PM on May 9 [9 favorites]


I am camping this weekend out between Columbia and KC at a place called Knob Noster.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 7:04 PM on May 9 [5 favorites]


Knob Noster is legendary among myself and my St. Louis friends who have often crossed the state via I-70!

My most recent gigglefest was being in a coffee shop in Knoxville and seeing this piece of art by a local ninth grader hanging on the wall and then reading their artist's statement (which you can click to with the right arrow in the Instagram web view). Like I said there, I want to be friends with that kid SO MUCH.
posted by invitapriore at 7:15 PM on May 9 [14 favorites]


I am listening to the audiobook of "Valley Forge" by Bob Drury & Tom Clavin about the latter half of the Revolutionary War.

The narrator keeps his tone very even, very deadpan, so I burst out laughing when he was talking about Baron von Steuben arriving in camp speaking only German & French, but no English, and becoming frustrated by the American soldiers' lack of military skills:
Steuben had not been in camp four full days before the young Laurens was touting him for the office of inspector general. This was in spite of the fact that at the time Thomas Conway still technically held the post and Steuben had mastered only one word of English -- "Goddamn."
I paused the audiobook so I could let my horselaugh run its course.

(Later, Steuben is described as berating soldiers with 'a torrent of curses in French and German, punctuated with occasional "Goddamns"' -- which set me off again.)
posted by wenestvedt at 7:37 PM on May 9 [5 favorites]


There's a club for people like you.

Is it 6dollarshirts.com, which my brother found? Because he placed an experimental order which was totally legit -- and also I just noticed that they sell this, which...you know.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:44 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


We had a ginormous bee/wasp/hornet thing fly into our house today. It was literally bigger than my thumb.

My 7th grade son really hates bugs, and I have never seen anyone move so fast. He bolted, and locked himself in the bathroom while screaming "THAT THING IS SATAN'S TESTICLE! "

(My husband trapped it in tupperware and released it. No testicles were harmed.)
posted by selfmedicating at 8:08 PM on May 9 [15 favorites]


Some friends and I went to a training about a citizen science thing about pikas last weekend. The training included helpful photos of things like rabbits, mountain goats, rocks, and bears labeled “NOT A PIKA.” So obviously all week we’ve been sending each other photos of creatures and things with #notapika on them. Cracks me up every time.
posted by centrifugal at 9:28 PM on May 9 [7 favorites]


This exchange right here:
Do penii get sunburn?
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:38 PM on May 9 [1 favorite −] Favorite added! [!]


"Do penii get sunburn?"

We both know the answer to that question.
posted by billjings at 10:52 PM on May 9 [1 favorite −] Favorite added! [!]
from this thread. Just now. Like literally just now.
posted by hippybear at 10:56 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


I can't remember the last time I had uncontrollable giggles but I'm pretty sure it was at a MeFi meetup.
posted by bendy at 10:59 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


I have had two Extremely Educational Moments in my classroom in the last month that gave me the giggles but good

1) reading through 45 of the most ridiculous, heartfelt, excruciatingly detailed apology notes you could possibly imagine after a fiasco my kids created for a substitute teacher. Like: they were SO BAD? And we dealt with it and I was VERY SERIOUS and we all built our characters etc. etc.? But also I had a gin and tonic and read all the best parts to a friend over the phone while cackling hysterically later that week.

2) I told the kids that Student X would be a canary for us and let us know when the intercom went off so kids would know when to leave for the field trip (I teach music so it’s loud and we miss announcements sometimes). The following conversation ensued:

Kid Y: Why does that make her the canary?

Me: Oh! Do you guys not know that? so birds are super delicate, if you cook with a Teflon pan in your house and overheat it that can kill a pet bird.

45 kids: suddenly stone cold sober and silent

Me, oblivious: anyway oldtimey miners kept canaries in cages in the mines and when the birds stopped singing they knew there was dangerous gas and they needed to get out! So X is our alert system.

45 kids: 😳

Kid X: To clarify, I’ll still be alive after I hear the intercom.


posted by charmedimsure at 1:09 AM on May 10 [43 favorites]


A good while back there was a Meta* thing about people who can't reliably distinguish their Right from their Left. Having watched an anime about a guy invaded by an alien parasite that inhabited his right hand that would form a mouth in his palm to chat... he named it Migi (Japanese for right). I proposed the same, a bit of puppetry. Name one hand Righty and the other Lefty and just let them sockpuppet back and forth.

I almost drove myself crazy the next couple of days with my hands bickering at each other. Migi and Hidari were like Abbot and Costello or Martin and Lewis. Bickering over who gets slept on the most, why do I always have to reach for the remote. Fighting over who has to press the most keys. Hidari warning Migi not to click submit button. Telling each other really bad jokes. Me, I was caught in the middle and had a gigglefit that went on for days and still does sometimes. Dammit Migi careful with that knife. Fuck you Hidari, keep your fingers out of the way.

I only wish I could do proper voices.
posted by zengargoyle at 1:48 AM on May 10 [9 favorites]


My laugh for the week at work: so in Chinese, apparently, the words for "injury" and for a major Chinese city are quite similar although obviously not confused in context. We were producing a manual with the typical "DANGER" sign and explanation, along the lines of "This sign indicates actions that may lead to death or serious personal injury." The client objected to our Chinese translation and sent a revised version, in which they unfortunately mistyped these two easily confusable words, with the result of:
"This sign indicates actions that may lead to death or to life in Shanghai."
posted by huimangm at 3:26 AM on May 10 [13 favorites]


I played that 'it's my birthday' clip sitting behind my husband just now, and he gave me a confused look and said "what are you doing" in a way that may me laugh out loud!

The other day I was having one of those stressful mornings. I had a pretty full day and some extra responsibilities, so I was walking quickly to the bathroom before teaching (you only get a few times a day when you can pee as a teacher.) I was even interrupted as I walked down the corridor- "no I'm busy at the moment" (!) Our bathrooms have a sensor light and sometimes it takes a sec to turn on, so I stride confidently into the bathroom and the door swings shut behind me, leaving me in total darkness! The absurdity of it all had me bent over in the giggles as I groped to find the light switch. Totally snapped me out of the stress I was feeling.
posted by freethefeet at 4:37 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


"This sign indicates actions that may lead to death or to life in Shanghai."

I myself have lived in Shanghai. These two things may be indistinguishable. (Sorry 上海人, that place is both too fast and too furious for me.)

My contribution...

I once saw a guy walking his pit bull while riding a unicycle and it was the most gentrifying Pittsburgh thing I've ever seen.
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:12 AM on May 10 [5 favorites]


My laugh just happened--I'm eavesdropping during Study Hall as kids are talking about cool favorite bands (which makes me so happy):

Student 1: I just don't get why anyone would be into vinyl though. What a waste of money. (I'm thinking OHNOYOUDIDNOTSAYTHAT)
Student 2: Yeah vinyl's trash
Student 1: Yeah. So stupid.
2: Like who cares
Student 1: Who even has a CD player
Me: Do you mean record player?
1: What's a record player?
Me: (show them picture of record player) This is a record player. It plays records. Vinyl.
Students 1 and 2: Oh. Those are cool.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 8:13 AM on May 10 [16 favorites]


Yesterday I heard someone walking his bike on the sidewalk behind me, with the characteristic tick-tick-tick sound of the freewheel turning. Then he passed me, and it wasn't a bike, it was a tiny Boston terrier with his toenails tick-tick-ticking on the pavement.

I'd actually seen him and his dog a bit earlier, but when I wasn't looking, my ears were convinced that the dog was a bike.
posted by moonmilk at 8:33 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


I babysat an 11-month-old recently and the one life lesson I want to keep is that sometimes, it's ok to just gently collapse onto the floor and close your eyes for a second, then jump back up and continue what you were doing, all refreshed.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 8:36 AM on May 10 [9 favorites]


It's really minor - but a few days ago I was listening to an audio book that included a somewhat tedious ten minute description of the "Chinese room" conjecture. (Not a great name, but I'm having trouble thinking of a recognizable alternative.) It was read by a voice actor who clearly didn't understand what he was reading and had never heard many of the words spoken out loud before. In context, it was delightfully silly.
posted by eotvos at 8:40 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


Three things, two animal-related, one not:
1. On our first trip to Rome, the mr. and I saw a man riding a bicycle down a cobbled street, with a child standing on his shoulders, just balancing, not holding on (mostly - I did see him cup his hands under the bike rider's chin once for a moment). No pics, but I always imagined they were circus performers. Mouths agape as he rode by - then we looked at each other to make sure we'd seen what we just saw.
2. Same trip, different neighborhood. We're eating dinner outside in a small piazza, and another man riding a bicycle swings through the piazza with an orange cat draped across his shoulders. Again, no pictorial evidence, but - why is it always orange cats?
3. Yesterday walking to the ferry I saw a man walking a tiny little fluffy dog that just made me smile. She was a Havanese puppy, about four months old, and the softest, fluffiest thing I've ever seen. She let me pet her and I thanked the owner. I smiled for at least three or four minutes afterwards.
posted by dbmcd at 9:04 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


1 - Last weekend I went to a wedding with my very new boyfriend whom I had met about 10 days prior, which involved a night at a hotel. The food they served at the wedding gave me terrible gas. Of course, the bathroom had no fan, and everything was marble so it was an echo chamber. I kindly asked him to turn on the TV, which he did not. I tried to fart quietly, and, yeah that did not happen. It was cartoonish in volume and length. I started laughing really hard, and I heard faint giggles coming from the bedroom part of the room, and then the TV clicking on. Which didn't really help, because of the echo chamber quality of the bathroom.


2 - I was driving home late and was approaching a red light with one other car at it, nobody else around. I was futzing with something (I think peeling off some nail polish), and had my hand resting against the middle part of the steering wheel. My horn is apparently very touchy, because just a little pressure from my hand set it off. So, to this other person, an asshole driving up honked at them from about 20 feet back, for... sitting at a red light. For some reason, nonsense car horns crack me up, and I could not stop laughing.
posted by Fig at 9:04 AM on May 10 [13 favorites]


I was driving into town one morning a couple weeks ago and noticed a woman with her vehicle parked along the side of the road beating through the underbrush with a giant net on a pole. I couldn't see what she was trying to capture, although it seemed like an unusual setup for a lost dog or cat.

Turns out, we've had a spate of randy peacock escapees in recent times. In true small-town fashion, someone commented on FB: "[peacock owner] is done looking for him and I’m pretty certain he’s been getting into my trash. I’ve had it with these peacocks. They are destroying our town."
posted by drlith at 9:12 AM on May 10 [14 favorites]


I posted a comment in the nudist thread defending the comfort of basic garments, and it has received a favorite from The Underpants Monster, which made me laugh and feel validated at the same time.
posted by kinnakeet at 9:19 AM on May 10 [11 favorites]


Does an Underpants Monster live in underpants? Does it take the form of underpants? Does it eat underpants? Does it... wear underpants in an especially memorable way?

Goddamn it this is going to fuck my shit up all day
posted by duffell at 9:38 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


I have a good friend who has teenage children and last night I got to see said teenagers in a high school production of Mary Poppins. It was delightful.
posted by janepanic at 9:44 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


I have a couple of inside jokes with myself, and they both involve me being a pest on Instagram (but not too often--I swear I'm a reasonable and mostly considerate person).

1. The Audubon Society's account is so good, and I love to tag my husband in posts with the caption "Did somebody say PIZZA?!" I crack myself up imagining each of the birds saying this (in every post, really; it's an evergreen caption), and it's doubly funny to imagine my husband's mild annoyance at getting yet another notification about a bird wanting pizza.

2. It's hilarious to me to imagine that my friend Kimberly is a fan of Kid Rock (she is not), so every now and again I'll send her one of his posts (especially when he is so egregiously MAGAhatted and being gross) with some heart emojis and a note about how handsome and impressive he is. When she responds "stop sending me these," that's the jackpot and I just lose my shit, every time, and there is no explaining it.
posted by witchen at 10:20 AM on May 10 [13 favorites]


The other night, my 5-year old finished brushing her teeth, stuck her toothbrush under the faucet, and called out, "service!" I laughed and she got mad at me for laughing at her and I couldn't adequately explain why it was funny.
posted by that's candlepin at 12:02 PM on May 10 [5 favorites]


This is not recent, but the true story of hardest I have ever laughed. Walking through my high school quad with my best friend at the end of the day, she slipped on a banana peel. She flew into the air and landed flat on her backpack. It was like a cartoon come to life. She was totally fine and we rolled on the ground and laughed hysterically.
posted by gryphonlover at 10:10 PM on May 10 [5 favorites]

We're eating dinner outside in a small piazza, and another man riding a bicycle swings through the piazza with an orange cat draped across his shoulders.
It's got nothing to do with Rome, or your story. . . but, now I've been reminded that this exists. The music is certain to haunt me for the next 48 hours. Thanks?
posted by eotvos at 1:29 AM on May 11 [2 favorites]


For the past several weeks I have been in charge of a pre-K adjacent library program and I am getting to know the 3-4-5-year-olds in the group a lot better than I did before. One of the 4-year-old boys learned to do the dab this week and now dabs at pauses in songs. Example: last week was a weather and seasons unit, our transition song is Itsy Bity Spider, kid does a perfectly executed dab right at the end. His dad is like no staaahp where did you learn this every time and every time it cracks me up!

Also, recently a child was trying to remember the name of the planet that orbits sideways and said, "You know, like this!" and then demonstrated by dramatically collapsing horizontally on the floor. (We looked it up, it's Uranus.) She had a lot of space questions including what would happen if Jupiter exploded (lots of bad things but it's unlikely to ever happen.)

I did a storytime with a theme of the sense of smell (...what is my life) and I brought in "mystery smells" that were actually baking extracts. I pass around "raspberry" and the adults go, "I know this. This is an alcohol" which no! I swear I didn't bring alcohol-soaked cotton balls for pre-K children!

Second, one of the older kids smells the artificial maple smell (which smells like meaty and super gross if you use too much) and tugs on my hand and says, 'Teacher. Teacher. For your information, this smell is yucky."
posted by blnkfrnk at 8:56 PM on May 11 [8 favorites]


I saw this "decor" in a CB2 catalog. We grow broom corn on my farm so I have some experience arranging it and trying to make it look nice.

This sad demonstration of broom corn is so hilarious to me. The caption to this should be "fuck it."
posted by Emmy Rae at 9:23 PM on May 11 [7 favorites]


I walked out to the pier behind my office to take a lap after a rain shower on Friday. There were some puddles, and a teeny tiny little girl in a pretty pink dress and tennis shoes was having a huge time stomping through the puddles. It was so pure. Her dad was right there, just cracking up (but very serious) and all us olds walking by were grinning ear-to-ear. I think it seriously improved everybody's day.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:04 AM on May 12 [4 favorites]


We're potty-training our 3 year old child. She's got the hang of peeing, but no pooping on the potty yet. I can currently hear her on the toilet making the most comical grunting / shouting noises ever heard, in an attempt to do #2. "Hunnnnh hunnnnnnnh URRRRRRRG, OOOOOOHGGG." She is not constipated; she's just a ham.
posted by duffell at 5:16 AM on May 12 [6 favorites]


All right, since there have been several mentions in this thread, I will disclose that I am one of the people who rides a sidecar with my dog.
posted by workerant at 12:43 PM on May 12 [5 favorites]


UPDATE: MY OFFSPRING HAS SHAT IN A TOILET

I AM A PROUD PAPA
posted by duffell at 4:21 PM on May 12 [11 favorites]


The Mr and I were talking about those severed feet that were washing up on shore on the Washington and BC coasts over several years a while back. I said, oh yeah they wrote a folk song about it. Him: ???? Me, yeah, it was called The Wreck of the Edmund Feetsgerald. I was giggling for 4 straight minutes after that. (The Mr was unimpressed.)
posted by matildaben at 7:54 PM on May 12 [10 favorites]


this is going around facebook and is, I am sorry to say, a commercial, but it cracked me & mrsupermedusa up SERIOUSLY.
posted by supermedusa at 4:48 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


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