Ten years of thanks. June 16, 2019 1:44 AM   Subscribe

It's been ten years to the day since my wife passed suddenly and unexpectedly.

It's not something anyone should ever have to deal with, and I don't wish it on anyone (even my worst enemy).

However, all y'all here at MeFi have helped so much - whether it was comments in threads, MeMails checking in on me, cards and trinkets and such in postal mail, etc.

Thanks to every one of you for helping me get through the worst of times.
posted by mrbill to MetaFilter-Related at 1:44 AM (38 comments total) 40 users marked this as a favorite


forms bucket line of hugs
posted by hugbucket at 4:15 AM on June 16, 2019 [17 favorites]

We love you, mrbill!
posted by ocherdraco at 5:48 AM on June 16, 2019 [4 favorites]

Thank you for being here, mrbill. I'm so glad we have this site to support one another.
posted by cynical pinnacle at 6:32 AM on June 16, 2019 [3 favorites]

Sending you so much love
posted by ellieBOA at 7:19 AM on June 16, 2019 [1 favorite]

posted by French Fry at 8:37 AM on June 16, 2019 [1 favorite]

No need for me to click on your link. I remember it vividly. This happened shortly after I joined MetaFilter, and your situation and the community response impressed the hell out of me. I hope you are doing well today.
posted by SLC Mom at 9:37 AM on June 16, 2019 [13 favorites]

Sending you some hugs. I'm glad you're a part of this community. Be well.
posted by Fizz at 10:39 AM on June 16, 2019 [1 favorite]

Glad you’re here, mrbill
posted by lazaruslong at 10:39 AM on June 16, 2019 [1 favorite]

I was just thinking about you and Amy the other day. We've never met but I remember your posts and the lovely things you've written about Amy. How could 10 years have passed? Sending you warm vibes, MrBill.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:43 AM on June 16, 2019 [1 favorite]

Thinking of you <3
posted by Mistress at 11:00 AM on June 16, 2019 [1 favorite]

I remember reading that post like it was yesterday. Very glad to hear you are doing well.
posted by sallybrown at 12:02 PM on June 16, 2019 [4 favorites]

Howdy, mrbill. I wasn't here for that tragedy. I am glad that you made it through that dark time, and that MetaFilter was here for you then. Hugs!
posted by Bella Donna at 12:26 PM on June 16, 2019 [2 favorites]

You’re in my thoughts, mrbill.
posted by holborne at 1:17 PM on June 16, 2019

Thinking of you, mrbill! I'm glad you're here.
posted by wiskunde at 2:23 PM on June 16, 2019

I’m so glad you are a part of metafilter! Sending love!
posted by mochapickle at 3:00 PM on June 16, 2019

I’m so happy this community has been able to be there for you! Thank you for being a part of it.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:23 PM on June 16, 2019

I remember that post well. Big hugs for you if you want them. I'm so glad you're still here.
posted by WidgetAlley at 3:28 PM on June 16, 2019

I remember that post so well, too. Hugs to you. mrbill.
posted by sarcasticah at 4:16 PM on June 16, 2019

Hey mrbill.
posted by clavdivs at 6:07 PM on June 16, 2019

Wow, it doesn't feel like it has been ten years. Much love and I hope you are doing well.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:36 PM on June 16, 2019

Yes, I remember that post too. I’m glad you are still here mr. bill.

One of my closest friends just lost his wife, also a very close friend. The memorial was yesterday. We knew it was coming (metastatic cancer) but it was sudden in the end and when my friend came inside and found her pulse less he panicked and did the whole CPR and 911 thing. She never regained anything but it kept her technically alive long enough for everyone to come to the hospital and say goodbye.

The memorial was supposed to be one of those “let’s have a party and celebrate her life” things but I sat down at the slide show and cried my eyes out. Then I wrote a long letter to their 9 year old son.

Anyway, the point of all this was grief. I’m in the middle of it and my buddy is in the middle of it in a huge way. And there’s something kind of relieving about being so close it right now. I don’t have words to say and that’s ok. I grabbed my friend in the ICU and held him and cried with him and I did the same yesterday. And that communicated everything that needed to be communicated. In between, I’m over at his house helping with some of the monotonous work associated with this and then I’m texting him that I love him at random times. I guess grief is only awkward if it reminds you that you haven’t been as present for your people as you should have been. But it’s awful and the only thing to do with it is to endure it and believe that someday it will be a little more bearable.

I hope your grief is more bearable mr bill.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:05 PM on June 16, 2019 [15 favorites]

I'm so glad you're with us, mrbill, and that this community was and is here to be here for you.
posted by Caduceus at 5:52 AM on June 17, 2019

Sometimes that Mr Hand is just a bastard.

All the best.
posted by flabdablet at 6:26 AM on June 17, 2019 [1 favorite]

posted by Secretariat at 8:50 AM on June 17, 2019

Sending hugs, mrbill.
posted by ourobouros at 10:26 AM on June 17, 2019

Sending you tons of love, mrbill. Glad you are here and that we are here for you! ♥
posted by Lynsey at 11:38 AM on June 17, 2019

hugs to you!
posted by needlegrrl at 1:10 PM on June 17, 2019 [1 favorite]

Ten years is so much time and still none at all. I hope the years have earned you some peace, and am glad to know that we could be of comfort to you in the hardest days.
posted by briank at 1:59 PM on June 17, 2019

Wow, I remember that post so clearly as well - clearly it made a big impression on many of us. Can't believe it's been ten years. I hope you're doing ok, mrbill. I hope it sucks a lot less. Wish I had something better to say than that, but that's the gist of it.
posted by widdershins at 2:30 PM on June 17, 2019

posted by daybeforetheday at 2:58 AM on June 18, 2019

big hugs!!
posted by supermedusa at 7:57 AM on June 18, 2019

Glad you're here, man.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:48 AM on June 18, 2019

*hugs* death lingers long. glad you found the support you need at our favorite watering hole. Hope we call can continue to support each other in these times.
posted by symbioid at 9:40 AM on June 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

I don't know you, but I remember that post and the community's response and knew I found a true "home" even as a lurker. You have survived so much and I'm glad you're still with us.
posted by TravellingCari at 9:57 AM on June 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

I remember too. I've never reached out to say how fucking sorry I was, but I'm still really fucking sorry that happened.

Also, you may be amused to know that although I was familiar with the Mr. Bill SNL shorts, I saw your mefi name the first time and somehow pronounced it like "gerbil" in my head, and to this day, every time I see it I get a little internal giggle. Peace and hugs, merbil.
posted by heyho at 11:03 AM on June 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

posted by thirteen at 11:02 PM on June 18, 2019

Good that you are still here and good that you found some friends when you needed them.
posted by adamvasco at 12:14 PM on June 19, 2019

mrbill, I remember this, and give you big {{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}. I hope you are okay now, in a good place. You're right, no one should have to go through what you went through, and my heart went out to you, and still goes out to you today. Take all of my healing energy and love that you need, man. Best wishes to you <3
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:54 PM on June 23, 2019

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