so after 10 years we forgot our anniversary?

June 18, 2019 11:22 AM

i just wanted to say happy 10th anniversary to my spices.
posted by chasles to MetaFilter-Related at 11:22 AM (124 comments total)

Too many missing names. I think I need a hug.
posted by loquacious at 11:35 AM on June 18, 2019 [30 favorites]

*hugs metafilter*
posted by loquacious at 11:35 AM on June 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

Yeah, wow—the feels. Names I haven’t seen in years.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:14 PM on June 18, 2019 [7 favorites]

The Great Enspousening was, I think, my first foray into adding contacts here. I'm so glad I did. Spouses, muses, kin, contacts--thank you. To the departed, and to the buttoned--you are missed.
posted by MonkeyToes at 12:46 PM on June 18, 2019 [15 favorites]

Seeing all the old names I never see anymore is hard, but I must admit I occasionally look at their last activity. Sometimes it's a flameout and button, sometimes it's just an innocuous comment then disappearing forever. It's always sad.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:47 PM on June 18, 2019 [19 favorites]

Make new friends, keep the old, and remember fondly those who are gone.

((hugs)) to my prior spouses, and *high fives* to future friends.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:51 PM on June 18, 2019 [8 favorites]

*puts a pot of beans and negligee on*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:58 PM on June 18, 2019 [29 favorites]

I am now taking applications for new spouses if anyone is interested. Republicans and Yankee's fans need not apply.
posted by bondcliff at 1:25 PM on June 18, 2019 [12 favorites]

I guess I'll put away my pinstriped gown and veil, then.
posted by ChuraChura at 2:12 PM on June 18, 2019 [15 favorites]

I find am spouseless, and I honestly have no idea how I feel about that. Probably just as well, since I'd no doubt be Mefivorced by now anyway for all the terrible jokes I've posted.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:08 PM on June 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

Republicans and Yankee's fans need not apply.
posted by bondcliff

Amen.
posted by Splunge at 3:44 PM on June 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

> I find am spouseless

You're not, but we're going to have to talk about your typing.
posted by heyho at 3:44 PM on June 18, 2019 [6 favorites]

  don't    what you mean....
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:15 PM on June 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

Oh man, I am also suddenly missing a lot of peeps. I hope some come back someday.

I need to drink less tequila on a weeknight. But it is my birthday week...

Greg_Ace, keep on making this terrible jokes. I love terrible jokes. It helps me keep on keeping on. I love terrible jokes.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:44 PM on June 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

Greg_Ace, your terrible jokes are the whole reason I spoused you!
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:06 PM on June 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

I am a muse, but not a spouse. Isn't it always the case?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 5:14 PM on June 18, 2019 [9 favorites]

That was a fun post, 1438 comments! Years later I made a comment that was a shameless plug for enspousening. Reader, he enspousened me.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 5:20 PM on June 18, 2019 [8 favorites]

I am charmed and a-blush.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:31 PM on June 18, 2019

I'd do it all over again.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:44 PM on June 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

*thinking fondly of my time as George Clooney’s spouse*
posted by sallybrown at 6:12 PM on June 18, 2019 [5 favorites]

I find am spouseless

I just figured out what my typo reminds me of: the tendency in some dialects to omit "to be" from a sentence, as in "the car needs washed". So it wasn't a typo, I just have my own dialect! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:13 PM on June 18, 2019 [7 favorites]

Also 9 years 364 days since the phrase BRANDON BLATCHER STOP MARRYIN' PEOPLE started popping into my head at random, or at Brandon.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:18 PM on June 18, 2019 [12 favorites]

Oh, I remember that Metafilter
posted by not_the_water at 6:26 PM on June 18, 2019 [6 favorites]

I didn't understand that thread then and I refuse to understand it now.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:01 PM on June 18, 2019 [6 favorites]

the tendency in some dialects to omit "to be" from a sentence, as in "the car needs washed".

I'm from Pittsburgh, and it takes an almost physical effort for me to use "to be" after "needs."
posted by Chrysostom at 8:34 PM on June 18, 2019 [5 favorites]

Hence the famous Pittsburgh graffiti:

"The way to do is" - Lao-tzu
"The way is to do" - Dale Carnegie
"do" - Frank Sinatra
"Yabba doo" - Fred Flintstone
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:24 PM on June 18, 2019 [5 favorites]

I am a muse, but not a spouse. Isn't it always the case?

Make that rhyme and you've got a poem by Dorothy Parker.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:21 PM on June 18, 2019 [7 favorites]

What is spouse.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:37 PM on June 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

I am a muse, but not a spouse. Isn't it always the case?
Make that rhyme and you've got a poem by Dorothy Parker.

"It must be this blouse."
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:39 PM on June 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

What is spouse.

The singular of spice.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:40 PM on June 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

Make that rhyme and you've got a poem by Dorothy Parker.

Always wearing the robes of a muse,
Not the dress of a spouse;
Will I ever stitch up a wedding suit
From my big girl's blouse?
posted by pracowity at 12:02 AM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

Oh, Brandon Blatcher, overthinkomg a pot of negligees....

Happy spouse day, spice!
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:19 AM on June 19, 2019

what is "muse" - singular of mice...
posted by Namlit at 4:15 AM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

Chrysostom: "the tendency in some dialects to omit "to be" from a sentence, as in "the car needs washed".

I'm from Pittsburgh, and it takes an almost physical effort for me to use "to be" after "needs.""

I'm sorry but I've lived here for thirty years and that construction still makes me wince.
posted by octothorpe at 5:01 AM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

I'm sorry but I've lived here for thirty years and that construction still makes me wince.

Yinz are just puttin on airs.
posted by chasles at 5:09 AM on June 19, 2019 [5 favorites]

lolbutts I go away to be social with friends around a fire and actually put my computer down for a few hours and I get back and my contact activity list is nothing but new contacts for miles.
posted by loquacious at 5:20 AM on June 19, 2019

I'mma enspousen all y'all!
posted by cooker girl at 6:21 AM on June 19, 2019 [5 favorites]

I'mma enspousen all y'all!

apparently it already happened for us at some point in the past.... we're enspousinated.
posted by chasles at 6:39 AM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

"the tendency in some dialects to omit "to be" from a sentence, as in "the car needs washed".

If you lived in WaRshington, DC the car would need "warshing." *shudder*
posted by terrapin at 7:21 AM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

apparently it already happened for us at some point in the past.... we're enspousinated.

Happy Anniversary!
posted by cooker girl at 7:49 AM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

The Underpants Monster: Not only are we now enspousened, we share a birthday!
posted by cooker girl at 8:01 AM on June 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

Twin spice!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:04 AM on June 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

And they said it would never last. Happy anniversary, you crazy kids!
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 8:18 AM on June 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

I'm so glad that I've finally gotten to meet my spouse MonkeyToes in person after all these years!
posted by drlith at 8:26 AM on June 19, 2019 [5 favorites]

Because I can tell you, if you think having one fake spouse is bad, having thirty of them will be worse.

10 years shows the reverse is also true- having one fake spouse is awesome and having 28 fake spouses (in my case) is AWESOMER
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:27 AM on June 19, 2019 [9 favorites]

I am entertaining offers for new spouses, but be aware that among my spouses, I voted quidnunc #1.
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:06 AM on June 19, 2019 [6 favorites]

chasles: "Yinz are just puttin on airs."

Your room needs redd up.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:56 AM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

I have no spouses, and I need none. You hear me? None! None whatsoever! I'm happy sitting over here by myself. Perfectly happy.
posted by nubs at 11:32 AM on June 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

I was a little sad to be left standing at the altar.

But when I took a closer look, I realized it was a different kind of altar and cheered up.
posted by jamjam at 12:57 PM on June 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

All these spices are yours to spouse except some loser. Do not attempt to spouse some loser. Make no enspicening there.

that is all.
posted by some loser at 1:50 PM on June 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

I'm glad Ralph was such a good sport about it all.
posted by peeedro at 3:14 PM on June 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

The plural of spouse is spousen.
The plural of box is boxen.
posted by Splunge at 3:16 PM on June 19, 2019

Your room needs redd up

This is a thing we say in Northern Ireland! Also the “needs washed” construction.

On another note, late to the party as I often am, I am happy to enspousen and be enspousenated quite frankly indiscriminately.
posted by billiebee at 3:19 PM on June 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

I haven’t gotten married in many years, but I think my wife would understand.
posted by Songdog at 3:23 PM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

I say the "needs washed" construction the majority of the time. And I'm picking up the Northern Irish (apparently) habit of ending my sentences with "so." "The car needs washed then so."

I was an unjoined lurker at the time of the great enspousening, I remember vague but irrational feelings of envy. "Where are MY fake spouses that I haven't asked for!" So I guess the moral of the story is, you only regret the fake marriages you never make.
posted by stillnocturnal at 4:01 PM on June 19, 2019 [6 favorites]

Apparently posting something melancholy in this thread gets one favorites, but not spouses, so let me be clear: I want both.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 4:14 PM on June 19, 2019 [12 favorites]

Mr. E., you are now my favorited spouse.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:17 PM on June 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

Oh, I don't know if it's okay to say something about someone whose account is disabled now, but St. Alia of the Bunnies was one of my favorite mefites and was once so kind to me when I was having a very hard time, I think before I had this current account. She was so compassionate and I admired how non-defensive she was, the enspousening thread is a great example of that!

Thanks for the memories! Lately I've been reminded of the "bad old days" of huge flamewars on MetaTalk and that kind of junk but these fun kinds of community in-jokes was why I stuck around for so long. I even finally figured out how to use contacts this year! No spices yet, maybe in another 10 years.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 4:35 PM on June 19, 2019 [16 favorites]

Oh I didn't know St Alia of the Bunnies was gone! She was always kind, I will miss her even though I don't think we ever interacted.

It's weird going through that old thread because there are people there I didn't know I had forgotten, like looking at old school pictures.
posted by stillnocturnal at 4:46 PM on June 19, 2019 [6 favorites]

🎶If you like pina coladas🎶
posted by sara is disenchanted at 6:05 PM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

If you like pina coladas

Related image
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:11 PM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

Is it too late for the enspousening?
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:30 PM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

Happy Anniversary to Brandon Blatcher and TooMuchPete! I swear I had more spouses. Halp?
posted by Pax at 6:39 PM on June 19, 2019

I am having A Week and would welcome some lovely new spouses.

Current challenges include hand pain from computer use so you have to do all the dishes and it may be a while before I spouse you back. Just make sure you know what you're getting into with this fake marriageq.
posted by medusa at 7:20 PM on June 19, 2019 [5 favorites]

I think fondly of those I have crushed.
posted by theora55 at 8:13 PM on June 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

I, too, think fondly on those I have crushed.

"What a night! What a crowd! Don't worry about me, I'm only crushing your heads!"
posted by filthy light thief at 8:20 PM on June 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

And to those who would enspousen me, or have been enspousened, brace yourself more weird music and odd stories in your life.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:25 PM on June 19, 2019

I don't WANT to be exposed to spices.
posted by unliteral at 9:36 PM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

unilateral, you must lead a *bland* life.


...I’ll see myself out.
posted by sara is disenchanted at 9:41 PM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

A spøüse once bit my sister
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:54 PM on June 19, 2019 [8 favorites]

Didst thou sic a shpīdêr upon it?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:57 PM on June 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

Üm...nøø.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:03 PM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

I think fondly of those I have crushed.

Hi.

I mean I have no idea what you're talking about.

Excuse me, I need to go hair my wash and bead a rook.
posted by loquacious at 10:40 PM on June 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

May I sew you to your sheet?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:23 PM on June 19, 2019 [5 favorites]

I guess some humans just can't say no to an ominous warning.

/has six spousen now
posted by some loser at 4:35 AM on June 20, 2019 [5 favorites]

I took it as more of a dare, and thought that made you more intriguing to enspousen.
posted by nubs at 6:09 AM on June 20, 2019 [3 favorites]

I have no MeFi spouses, crushes, or dates, and none of this in real life either following last year's rather brutal breakup.

Accepting applications, I guess?
posted by bile and syntax at 8:03 AM on June 20, 2019 [3 favorites]

This is one of the first MetaTalk threads that I ever read, and I joined a month later. I have used the word "enspousening" out loud in real life, so thank you for that.
posted by coppermoss at 8:17 AM on June 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

Only ten years too late, this thread has inspired me to actually make use of the connections feature. Hope everyone likes getting a new spouse!
posted by kalimac at 8:56 AM on June 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

I couldn't find this spouse stuff in my profile I still have to catch my own mice. But in the social media account choices I noticed findagrave.com as an option. I'm old but not that old yet. Still laughing about that. 🔷🔸🔷🔸
posted by Oyéah at 9:28 AM on June 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

So many missed opportunities for tagline jokes in that thread! I was glad "Metafilter: the vastest dysfunctional relationship ever" got picked up, at least.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:43 AM on June 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

Also, wow, that thread makes me nostalgic for a more freewheeling metatalk. I know it had its problems too, but I miss the weirdness and horseplay.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:47 AM on June 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

Keep MeFi weird. Get spousenated!
posted by nubs at 9:50 AM on June 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

There's a lot of kindness and a lot of gentleness on the site that there wasn't as much of before, but I don't know when there's been a thread that had that sort of glee to it.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:55 AM on June 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

I realized by leaving a comment in this thread earlier that I should expect to have entered into holy matrimony overnight and, well, I totally felt glee to find out that I had indeed! I shall treasure you all (when I remember you are there).
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 9:58 AM on June 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

Thanks to my six new spouses for the love, or at least the appreciation of how to have fun on the internet!
posted by bile and syntax at 9:59 AM on June 20, 2019 [3 favorites]

I have only one in my current incarnation, and we met at a meetup so she's both my actual spouse and my metafilter spouse.
posted by each day we work at 10:06 AM on June 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

THE SPOUSEN MUST FLOW!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:20 AM on June 20, 2019 [6 favorites]

Emotional Enspousenal Labor
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:21 AM on June 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

Speaking of work, what's the appropriate epithet for this kind of sex work? Or is that something MetaFilter doesn't do well?

I mean, we mostly just enspousen a bunch of people and then kind of forget about them...so I'm not sure you can say we're doing anything, much less doing it well. But I'd like to think if there was a sex work part of this, I'd at least be middling.
posted by nubs at 10:26 AM on June 20, 2019 [3 favorites]

Like stillnocturnal, I was a mere lurker when this beautiful event occurred. My attempts to describe it to confused outsiders failed miserably.

Ten long years, but it was worth the wait to enspousenate you all. <3
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 10:31 AM on June 20, 2019 [3 favorites]

You tell that person that no one gets to call you whoreish but your 46 spice, provided everyone involved consents to a bit of dirty talk.
posted by nubs at 10:32 AM on June 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

Well, if she's among the 46, then I guess she counts. But has everyone consented?
posted by nubs at 10:41 AM on June 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

Oyéah: in the social media account choices I noticed findagrave.com as an option. I'm old but not that old yet.

I've been getting letters from AARP for maybe a decade now, and I'm still not 40 years old.

A family member bought himself and his wife side-by-side burial plots. They are also under 40, and don't have particularly dangerous jobs or lives. I think he bought it as a "planning ahead" kind of thing (or maybe he only talked about buying a his-and-hers set of plots?).

I'm saying, you're only as young/ old/ dead as you feel.

And with that, I'll share the text of a meme-type image I recently saw:

My body is a temple.

Ancient and crumbling

Probably cursed or haunted

It made me unreasonably low-key happy, like a persistent, soft warm glow of humor.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:45 AM on June 20, 2019 [9 favorites]

> I only bring up sex work because I was called whoreish for having 46 spice just this morning

Surely anyone retrograde enough to use "whorish" would approve of sexual congress in a marriage?
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:47 AM on June 20, 2019

Sexual congress? (getting sick in the bushes!)
posted by Oyéah at 10:54 AM on June 20, 2019

Awww I'm a married Humonkeyette now! Ahhh I feel much better!
posted by Oyéah at 10:56 AM on June 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

Hey listen I'm down with all y'all random spouses but don't think there's any kind of sexytimes involved in that, marriage isn't anything to do with sex!
posted by bile and syntax at 11:01 AM on June 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

If any Mefite is unhappy in their new marriage to me, we'll have to divorce in Haiti, then we can have Steely Dan sing in court! hee hee!
posted by Oyéah at 11:15 AM on June 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

but don't think there's any kind of sexytimes involved in that, marriage isn't anything to do with sex!

Geez, it's only been like 3 hours. Didn't think the bloom would be off the rose that fast.
posted by nubs at 11:18 AM on June 20, 2019 [6 favorites]

Sexual congress?

Ha - because all Congress can do is fuck up, amirite?? ha ha ha I kill me
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:19 AM on June 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

But has everyone consented?

Imagine the parliamentary process! Sexual Congress, indeed; they could be a little less sexual; it’s less work for the Parliamentarians.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:27 AM on June 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

god that was really ten years ago??? happy anniversary spice
posted by JenMarie at 11:27 AM on June 20, 2019

Also, wow, that thread makes me nostalgic for a more freewheeling metatalk. I know it had its problems too, but I miss the weirdness and horseplay.

ya me too, we've grown up and gotten better at so much... but i do miss a bit of willful silliness.

my favorite was pretty early on and shamefully unfavorited by most: st alia of the bunnies said "...it should be more sacrosanct" and someone replied "what else is sacrosanct?" and then the amazing (and sadly departed gman) said "not pants"

which i admit isn't like, extreme funny. but every time i think of the enspousening the first thing i think or blurt out is "NOT PANTS!!" so i guess it stuck with me.
posted by chasles at 11:46 AM on June 20, 2019 [7 favorites]

Geez, it's only been like 3 hours. Didn't think the bloom would be off the rose that fast.

I just got married six times, I'm tired!
posted by bile and syntax at 11:47 AM on June 20, 2019 [7 favorites]

If becoming a spouse is "enspousenating", is becoming a muse "amusement"?
posted by beandip at 11:51 AM on June 20, 2019 [13 favorites]

Thanks for the reminder to update o. bender from sweetheart to spouse!
posted by vespabelle at 1:05 PM on June 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

I still don't quote grasp spouse but it's all good.

I miss St.Alia.
I miss G-man.
posted by clavdivs at 1:08 PM on June 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

📢🥁📆⛓️🎆🌞🕧🖖

Anniversary!
posted by clavdivs at 1:11 PM on June 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

MeFi spouses are the best spouses. I love each and every one of you.
posted by Pallas Athena at 4:10 PM on June 20, 2019 [6 favorites]

Oh jeez I just noticed you can select "kin" which surely has a much different definition in 2019 than it did when that option was added.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:28 PM on June 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

you're only as young/ old/ dead as you feel

Pretty sure it's not physically possible to be as young/ old/ dead as I feel.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:22 PM on June 20, 2019 [7 favorites]

I just wondered aloud if I wanted spice and my partner started playing "Short Skirt Long Jacket." Do spice have fingernails that shine like justice? I hope so.
posted by ferret branca at 8:02 PM on June 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

Spice tour the facility and pick up slack.
posted by cooker girl at 4:39 AM on June 21, 2019 [5 favorites]

We pick up no such thing. We like our community archaic and asychronous.
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:32 AM on June 21, 2019 [4 favorites]

Too many missing names. I think I need a hug.

*puff puff pant pant*

So sorry I'm late... I was nearly run over by a Zuckcoin looking for a prepaid
posted by hugbucket at 11:13 AM on June 21, 2019 [5 favorites]

I STILL MISS AMBERGLOW
posted by hugbucket at 11:15 AM on June 21, 2019 [3 favorites]

Yay for spice, those who pick up slack and those who do not!
posted by ferret branca at 5:51 PM on June 21, 2019 [1 favorite]

Oh gosh, I can't believe that was already ten years ago. Happy for any mefi spouses or kin
posted by (Over) Thinking at 7:40 PM on June 21, 2019

10 years? And that Trans Am you were going to rebuild is still up on blocks in the driveway. I’ll be in the kitchen... sheesh.
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:06 PM on June 22, 2019 [4 favorites]

This was before my time but I do miss St. Alia. A few years ago she returned for a bit and I MeMailed her to tell her how happy I was to see her posting again. She’s good people.

I’ll accept speesen but just know that the Freedom Household is pro-afterpants. Just so you’re forewarned.
posted by chainsofreedom at 6:09 AM on June 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Currently planning a meatspace wedding.

Getting a Mefi spouse seems to involve fewer spreadsheets. And I even seem to still have a few from lo these many years ago. Happy anniversary, spice.
posted by nat at 1:12 AM on June 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

it's a
nice day for a
meat wedding
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:00 AM on June 24, 2019 [11 favorites]

Ha, this thread reminded me of the vibe of metafilter of when I spent a lot of time here. The riffing and such. An absurdism that I found very funny.
Greetings from past metafilter!
posted by jouke at 8:37 AM on June 29, 2019 [2 favorites]