Thanks for all the help March 31, 2022 11:42 AM   Subscribe

Hey, just wanted to say thank you for all the help in several recent health related AskMe questions. They were all about about my wife, Lisa (lynnshaze), who was having a hell of time of it, health wise.

Sadly, she passed on March 18, at the house, surrounded by loving family members.

While Lisa was wasn't an active member on Metafilter, we'd often talk about the site and what was going on here. We definitely discussed the various advice offered on her health issues, which was deeply appreciated.

She once said she often used the site to see what "foolishness" I was up to though, heh.

Family and friends wrote and drew messages on her casket before putting it to rest, which was very cathartic and soothing. Several people remarked they'd want something similar at their funeral, so I share these these photos with y'all to show how beautiful that went.

Thanks again, and as a gentle nudge, have your affairs in order (will, power of attorney, health directive) as it makes things so much easier for the survivors.

God bless.
posted by Brandon Blatcher to MetaFilter-Related at 11:42 AM (195 comments total) 42 users marked this as a favorite

I am so so sorry for your loss. Those photos are powerful and beautiful, what a lovely way to involve everyone.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:48 AM on March 31 [5 favorites]


My deep condolences, and I am glad MeFites were able to help you through the end.
posted by brainwane at 11:48 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


❤️
posted by heyho at 11:53 AM on March 31


Brandon, I'm so sorry; I've been thinking of you both as you've been going through this. Thank you for letting us know.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 11:55 AM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Big hugs, Brandon, big hugs. I am so deeply sorry for your loss! Thanks for sharing the photos of that remembrance for Lisa - lovely and bittersweet.
posted by madamjujujive at 11:58 AM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
posted by Gorgik at 12:05 PM on March 31


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posted by lalochezia at 12:07 PM on March 31


Oh, I'm so sorry. You are a truly excellent human, so I'm certain she was, too.
posted by lauranesson at 12:07 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


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posted by Alterscape at 12:13 PM on March 31


Very sorry for your loss, Brandon.
posted by briank at 12:24 PM on March 31


I'm so very sorry. That was a beautiful sendoff for her.
posted by praemunire at 12:27 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]


Oh I am so sorry. And so moved by the notion and execution of folks personalizing her casket.

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posted by janell at 12:29 PM on March 31 [3 favorites]


I'm very sorry for your loss, Brandon. Peace to you and your family.
posted by bondcliff at 12:38 PM on March 31


oh Brandon, I'm so deeply sorry. what a terrible loss. biggest condolences to you and your family.

the personalized casket is beautiful.
posted by supermedusa at 12:48 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I'm so very sorry for your loss. The send-off photos are lovely. She was clearly well-loved by many.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 12:49 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


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I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful send off. Thank you for sharing these moments with us.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:51 PM on March 31


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posted by dhruva at 12:55 PM on March 31


I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful and loving act of remembrance.

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posted by jedicus at 12:57 PM on March 31


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posted by FishBike at 1:03 PM on March 31


My condolences to you and your family on Lisa's death. The casket messages are a wonderful tribute and memorial.
posted by beaning at 1:03 PM on March 31


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posted by curious nu at 1:07 PM on March 31


I'm so sorry for your loss. The casket messages are a beautiful idea.
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:08 PM on March 31


All of the best thoughts and energy to you and your family today, Brandon.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:09 PM on March 31


So sorry to hear this, Brandon.

And what a remarkable way to let everyone connect to her during what's usually a very distant, hands-off ritual. I have never thought of doing such a thing before, and am kind of delighted that she'll be sent off with so much love. As so many others said, really just beautiful.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:21 PM on March 31 [10 favorites]


Brandon, I'm so sorry. The letters of her name, formed in so many ways, show how much she was loved by so many.
posted by apartment dweller at 1:22 PM on March 31


I am so sorry for your loss. Your family are in my thoughts.
posted by gauche at 1:23 PM on March 31


Very sorry to hear this, friend.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:27 PM on March 31


Thank you for sharing her with us, Brandon. Much love to you.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:29 PM on March 31


I'm so sorry. Peace and love to you and your family and friends.
posted by Gray Duck at 1:48 PM on March 31


Very sorry to hear this, and thank you so much for sharing the pictures. What a lovely way for those who loved her to express that love. I hope that your beautiful memories of her lead you to strength and peace.
posted by FencingGal at 1:49 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


So sorry for your loss Brandon. Thank you for sharing the pictures.
posted by warriorqueen at 1:51 PM on March 31


I'm so sorry, Brandon. There are no words for something like this. I'll be keeping you and Lisa in my thoughts,
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:58 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


You and your family have been on my mind.

My heart is with all of you. I'm so sorry.
posted by armeowda at 2:00 PM on March 31


I am so sorry, Brandon. Thank you for sharing her and these photos with us.
posted by kimberussell at 2:06 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I'm so sorry this has happened. We'll be thinking of your and your family.
posted by Ipsifendus at 2:21 PM on March 31


I'm so sorry for your loss.

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posted by COD at 2:29 PM on March 31


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posted by dg at 2:49 PM on March 31


I am so sorry for your loss, Brandon, will be holding you and your family in the light.
posted by mygothlaundry at 2:51 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I'm so sorry. The casket is beautiful; what a lovely tribute.
posted by minsies at 2:57 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


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posted by nobody at 3:43 PM on March 31


Brandon I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I really liked looking at the photos of Lisa's send-off. So colorful and joyous, a real celebration of a great human. Please know your MF family is with you during this sad and difficult time.
posted by Kangaroo at 3:47 PM on March 31 [6 favorites]


My condolences, Brandon.
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:47 PM on March 31


I'm so sorry for your loss.

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posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 3:53 PM on March 31


The decorated casket is beautiful and moving. The pictures really convey just how much Lisa was loved.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:02 PM on March 31 [5 favorites]


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posted by Kitteh at 4:06 PM on March 31


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posted by Wobbuffet at 4:22 PM on March 31


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posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 4:23 PM on March 31


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posted by rue72 at 4:34 PM on March 31


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posted by purpleclover at 4:38 PM on March 31


Love to you, Brandon.
posted by barrett caulk at 4:40 PM on March 31


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posted by mochapickle at 4:44 PM on March 31


My heartfelt Condolences to you and your family Brandon. So glad the people in AskMe were able to help. Stay strong my friend. Big {{Hugs}}.
posted by adamvasco at 4:55 PM on March 31


Brandon, I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 4:57 PM on March 31


Those pictures are beautiful and heartbreaking, Brandon. I am so sorry for your loss, and I appreciate your willingness to share this with us.
posted by mollweide at 5:47 PM on March 31


Very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and her other loved ones.
posted by rpfields at 5:52 PM on March 31


So very, very sorry, Brandon! Thank you for sharing her memory with us.
posted by Kat Allison at 5:53 PM on March 31


I'm so sorry, Brandon. I'm glad you were able to personalize the ceremony in a way that was comforting to all those who loved Lisa.
posted by drlith at 6:50 PM on March 31


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posted by Recliner of Rage at 6:55 PM on March 31


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posted by ghost phoneme at 6:56 PM on March 31


I’m so, so sorry.
posted by bookmammal at 7:01 PM on March 31


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posted by the primroses were over at 7:07 PM on March 31


I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing those photos -- I hope you are surrounded by love & care.
posted by ourobouros at 7:14 PM on March 31


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posted by Bottlecap at 7:23 PM on March 31


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posted by clavdivs at 7:28 PM on March 31


So sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing this.
posted by hiker U. at 7:34 PM on March 31


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posted by WaspEnterprises at 7:46 PM on March 31


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posted by Mitheral at 7:52 PM on March 31


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posted by gudrun at 7:53 PM on March 31


So sorry for your loss, and beyond delighted that MeFi was able to be a source of pleasure for her through difficult times.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:22 PM on March 31


I’m so sorry. The love in those photos is really clear and beautiful.
posted by fruitslinger at 8:22 PM on March 31


So sorry for your loss, Brandon. Such a beautiful way to send her off.
posted by h00py at 8:24 PM on March 31


I’m sorry for your loss Brandon.
posted by marxchivist at 8:37 PM on March 31


Sorry to hear it mate. Peace.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:38 PM on March 31


I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing those pictures - they are so touching and moving. She was clearly very loved. Take care ❤️
posted by Sparky Buttons at 8:43 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


I am so sorry, Brandon. I'll be thinking of you.
posted by biogeo at 8:43 PM on March 31


I’m so sorry for your loss, Brandon. Thank you for sharing those photos; they’re beautiful and moving. Lisa was clearly well loved.

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posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 8:47 PM on March 31


My sincerest condolences, Brandon. Thank you for sharing this with us.
posted by zamboni at 8:52 PM on March 31


I'm sorry
posted by brujita at 9:33 PM on March 31


I am so, so sorry, Brandon. Thank you for sharing this with us.
posted by jameaterblues at 10:23 PM on March 31


My deepest condolences, Brandon. Thank you for sharing the photos with us. Much comfort to you and your family.
posted by kitten kaboodle at 10:27 PM on March 31


My deepest sympathy to you. What a beautiful goodbye to someone who was very obviously loved beyond love. My thoughts are with you in your grief.
posted by fairlynearlyready at 10:49 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]


So sorry Brandon. From our minimal connections on FB it was clear she was a curious and kind person. Be strong and sending you my love.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:20 PM on March 31


So sorry to hear.
posted by lesser weasel at 11:27 PM on March 31


So sorry to hear this, Brandon. Sending you all my sympathy and love. Take care of yourself
posted by bitteschoen at 11:37 PM on March 31


I’m so sorry to hear this. Please accept my condolences.
posted by holborne at 11:59 PM on March 31


My heartfelt sympathy. That must be so rough.
posted by Too-Ticky at 12:07 AM on April 1


I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing the photos.
posted by Alex404 at 12:36 AM on April 1


I am so sorry for your loss, thinking of you and your family. The messages on the casket are a lovely idea.
posted by ellieBOA at 1:14 AM on April 1


Deepest condolences- I’m so sorry.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:38 AM on April 1


I’m so sorry. It’s obvious she was fiercely loved.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:09 AM on April 1


Dear Brandon, I'm so sorry for your loss of lovely Lisa too, and thank you for showing and sharing your love with us with your beautiful words and beautiful pictures. Love from all of us, and may love bless you and your lovely family forever.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:54 AM on April 1


So sorry for your loss, Brandon. Thank you for sharing this, it's beautiful.
posted by Shepherd at 3:11 AM on April 1


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So sorry for your loss
posted by From Bklyn at 4:09 AM on April 1


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posted by ltl at 4:09 AM on April 1


. Those who are remembered are always here
posted by Lesium at 4:38 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


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posted by fourpotatoes at 4:41 AM on April 1


May Lisa’s memory be a blessing. Hugs to you and your family, Brandon.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 4:45 AM on April 1


The messages and drawings on the casket – I had never heard of such a thing, clicked through and ... I am weeping. Such a powerful expression of love and community. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing these photos with us.
posted by profreader at 4:57 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


My sympathies. Bless.
posted by dmh at 5:05 AM on April 1


My deepest sympathies.

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posted by klausness at 5:25 AM on April 1


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So sorry for your loss. You have my deepest condolences, and my thanks for sharing those photos and allowing us to celebrate her memory along with you.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:51 AM on April 1


I am so sorry to hear this, BB. My thoughts are with you.
posted by jamjam at 6:44 AM on April 1


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posted by Spathe Cadet at 6:58 AM on April 1


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I’m so sorry for your loss. What a lovely way to remember her.
posted by skycrashesdown at 7:32 AM on April 1


I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by jaruwaan at 7:54 AM on April 1


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posted by Secretariat at 7:59 AM on April 1


I am so sorry to hear it. Comfort to you.
posted by Miko at 8:04 AM on April 1


Thank you for sharing these photos with us. The love that you all shared comes shining through. I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by mydonkeybenjamin at 8:13 AM on April 1


I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:49 AM on April 1


So sorry to hear this. Hugs from Toronto.
posted by chococat at 8:51 AM on April 1


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I'm so sorry, Brandon. Please know lots of us are thinking about you with love and sympathy, and the love you two shared and everything you went through together is seen and valued. May her memory be for a blessing.
posted by BlueNorther at 8:58 AM on April 1


You have my condolences.
posted by y2karl at 9:10 AM on April 1


Oh, I am so sorry. I know her memories will be a blessing, and you have a community to help you grieve. love & sympathy, Theora

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posted by theora55 at 9:11 AM on April 1


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posted by probably not that Karen Blair at 9:25 AM on April 1


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posted by snsranch at 9:42 AM on April 1


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posted by svolix at 9:52 AM on April 1


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posted by roger ackroyd at 9:55 AM on April 1


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posted by fizzix at 10:20 AM on April 1


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posted by cooker girl at 10:34 AM on April 1


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posted by Going To Maine at 10:51 AM on April 1


What an incredible way to gather and honor her, thank you for sharing it with us. I'm so sorry you're going through this (it really, really sucks) and wish you peace and comfort in your grief.

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posted by ApathyGirl at 11:01 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


So very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute.

Hoping her memories provide you with comfort.
posted by Twicketface at 11:15 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


Brandon, thank you for sharing those photos with us and I am so sorry. May Lisa's memory be a blessing to you. We're here for you.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:26 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


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posted by eotvos at 11:49 AM on April 1


So sorry, Brandon. Beautiful ceremony.
posted by Glinn at 12:11 PM on April 1


I'm so sorry, Brandon. Lisa will be missed.
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posted by stellaluna at 12:22 PM on April 1


I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by sciatrix at 12:42 PM on April 1


I'm so sorry for your loss, Brandon. Thank you for sharing your photos with us.
posted by jabes at 1:02 PM on April 1


I am so very sorry. May her memory be a blessing, and wishing you peace and comfort in your time of mourning. I grieve with you.
posted by Gelatin at 1:11 PM on April 1


I'm sorry for your loss, Brandon. You and your family are in my thoughts.
posted by box at 1:44 PM on April 1


♥Brandon♥♥Lisa♥
posted by Lynsey at 1:47 PM on April 1


I'm so sorry for your loss, Brandon. Your pictures are so beautiful and show just how much she was loved by so many people.
posted by hydropsyche at 2:32 PM on April 1


♡☆♡☆ Best to you.
posted by Oyéah at 3:07 PM on April 1


Deepest condolences to you and all those that loved her.
posted by readery at 4:06 PM on April 1


Thank you for sharing those beautiful photos, Brandon; there's so much love in them. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
posted by Hellgirl at 4:14 PM on April 1


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posted by hydra77 at 5:26 PM on April 1


Dear Brandon, I'm so sorry. Lisa must have been a wonderful person to have inspired such a beautiful and lively sendoff. Beaming out hugs and comfort.
posted by tangerine at 5:37 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


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posted by kathrynm at 6:25 PM on April 1


Oh, those are lovely photos. My thoughts are with you and yours.
posted by theatro at 6:43 PM on April 1


Just worked up the emotional strength to look at the pictures. So beautiful. If we could all inspire that much love.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:41 PM on April 1


She was a lucky lady and you were a blessed man. Love and light to you and your family.
posted by pearlybob at 8:02 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


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Deepest condolences to you and your family, Brandon.

Thank you for sharing those pictures with us, that was beautiful.
posted by soundguy99 at 8:15 PM on April 1


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The casket decorations are an amazing tribute, and a beautiful custom I hope is repeated by others.
posted by BlahLaLa at 9:20 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


I am so extremely sorry.

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posted by spinifex23 at 11:47 PM on April 1


I'm sorry for your loss, Brandon.
posted by mittens at 6:11 AM on April 2


I've moved away from Savannah or I would have come to Lisa's beautiful sendoff. My heart goes out to you and your family.
posted by mareli at 6:40 AM on April 2


I'm so sorry for your loss Brandon. The painted casket is lovely - what a wonderful way to send her off. Sending you love and light.
posted by nayantara at 7:11 AM on April 2


I am very sorry for your loss, Brandon.
posted by infini at 8:29 AM on April 2


I am so sorry.
posted by clew at 9:57 AM on April 2


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posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:05 AM on April 2


Very sorry for your loss.

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posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:07 AM on April 2


I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this.
posted by mustard seeds at 1:54 PM on April 2


Oh, my sincere condolences.
posted by TwoStride at 2:15 PM on April 2


Very sorry for your loss.
posted by emd3737 at 3:08 PM on April 2


What a beautiful sendoff, and thank you so much for letting us know. Sending lots of love and peace!
posted by Space Kitty at 3:34 PM on April 2


I’m so sorry for your loss.
posted by skye.dancer at 5:11 PM on April 2


Thank you for sharing those beautiful photos. Your thoughtful care for her was evident in your recent questions and your sharing here. <3
posted by latkes at 5:41 PM on April 2


My condolences. Thank you for sharing the wonderful pictures.
posted by introp at 6:11 PM on April 2


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posted by Don.Kinsayder at 6:50 PM on April 2


I am so sorry for your loss, Brandon. The photos you shared are truly beautiful. It's clear how cherished your wife was. May peace and comfort come to you and your family somehow.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 8:28 PM on April 2


I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing the beautiful photos.

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posted by unicorn chaser at 3:45 AM on April 3


I'm sorry for your loss. The photos of how you and your loved ones honored Lisa's casket are beautiful.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 10:39 AM on April 3


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posted by penguin pie at 2:31 PM on April 3


Thank you for letting us see those beautiful photos.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:43 PM on April 3


I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Brandon. My deepest condolences.
posted by GuyZero at 4:20 PM on April 3


The love in those photos is so very palpable. Thank you for sharing, and I’m so sorry for your loss. Wishing you solace and peace.
posted by jacy at 5:08 PM on April 3


I'm so sorry for your loss. The photos are lovely.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:19 PM on April 3


My deepest sympathies for your loss. Thank you for sharing the photos - the personalized casket was a brilliant, compassionate idea.
I wish you peace.
posted by dbmcd at 2:44 AM on April 4


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posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:41 AM on April 4


So sad to hear this news. My thoughts are with you and your family.
posted by Hey, Zeus! at 4:11 AM on April 4


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posted by wellred at 5:36 AM on April 4


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posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 8:48 AM on April 4


Sorry to hear about your loss of your love, Lisa. Peace and love.

JG

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posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:45 AM on April 4


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posted by rozcakj at 10:46 AM on April 4


My condolences to you and your loved ones.
posted by medeine at 11:19 AM on April 4


What a beautiful sendoff. How lucky you were to have each other.
posted by Sweetie Darling Sweetie Darling at 11:39 AM on April 4


Very sorry to hear this, Brandon. My condolences to you and yours.
posted by jquinby at 11:59 AM on April 4


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posted by radioamy at 1:57 PM on April 4


That sounds very hard; heartfelt condolences to you and all who will miss Lisa.
posted by carmicha at 3:40 PM on April 4


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posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 6:56 PM on April 4


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posted by leslies at 6:23 AM on April 5


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posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:04 AM on April 6


I'm so sorry for your loss, Brandon. The photos are beautiful. That she is so well-loved and cherished speaks to the tremendous person she must have been.
posted by aielen at 5:51 AM on April 6


Oh Brandon. What sad news, but also so much love, how wonderful what you had together. Thank you for the pictures. Thoughts are with you and everyone who knew Lisa.
posted by freya_lamb at 3:03 PM on April 6


Peace to you, Brandon. Thank you for sharing these pictures-- so much grace and love in every single one.
posted by BibiRose at 7:50 PM on April 6


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posted by Coaticass at 8:22 PM on April 6


My god. Just saw this. So sorry for your loss, Brandon.

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posted by lazaruslong at 2:00 AM on April 7


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posted by Blue Jello Elf at 10:24 PM on April 8


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posted by riruro at 5:51 AM on April 9


So sorry for your loss, Brandon.
posted by Kwine at 9:19 AM on April 9


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posted by Quietgal at 12:48 PM on April 9


I’m sorry for your loss, Brandon.

That’s the most beautiful casket I have ever seen. So much love.
posted by Kattullus at 12:45 PM on April 11


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posted by lucy.jakobs at 7:12 PM on April 13


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posted by biggreenplant at 12:54 PM on April 18


I just saw this as I don't see MeTa often. I'm so sorry to hear of her passing. Love to you and yours.

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posted by fiercecupcake at 2:53 PM on April 25


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