What have you done this decade that you're proud of? February 9, 2023 11:35 AM Subscribe
I was reading through old favorites tonight and found this post and it's mooshy-happy.
I still haven't hit the daily limit for favorites. Is there one?
What have you done this decade that you're proud of?
I still haven't hit the daily limit for favorites. Is there one?
What have you done this decade that you're proud of?
Over the last five years, as my kids moved out of the super-intensive tiny-person stage of parenting, and after moving away from the community I'd lived in my entire adult life to somewhere where I had family, but not friends, I took a ton of risks and started doing things for myself that I hadn't done a decade because I'd been pregnant and breastfeeding and chasing toddlers.
I took improv classes, started performing stand-up comedy, learned to paint and got my work into a juried local show, finished writing a novel (just for fun), and took a huge leap of faith to retrain for a new career in my 40s. Landed a job in the new field last year (as many of you know) and I am loving it and doing very well at it!
I am hella proud of all of that! But I think I'm most proud that my kids watched me do all these things -- they watched me go out and make new friends, they watched me get up on stage, they watched me learn to paint (starting out really bad and slowly improving through steady effort), they watched me study for a new professional certification and begin a challenging new job. I'm proud that they saw me try new and scary things, fail, improve, practice, study, set goals and work towards them. Because a lot of that before was stuff I did in college, that they could hear about, but not SEE. For them to see mom actually doing all the things she urges them to do (especially during the pandemic, when they were never out of the house, so always knew if I was painting or studying or writing) seems to have made a big impression on them.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 12:33 PM on February 9, 2023 [21 favorites]
I took improv classes, started performing stand-up comedy, learned to paint and got my work into a juried local show, finished writing a novel (just for fun), and took a huge leap of faith to retrain for a new career in my 40s. Landed a job in the new field last year (as many of you know) and I am loving it and doing very well at it!
I am hella proud of all of that! But I think I'm most proud that my kids watched me do all these things -- they watched me go out and make new friends, they watched me get up on stage, they watched me learn to paint (starting out really bad and slowly improving through steady effort), they watched me study for a new professional certification and begin a challenging new job. I'm proud that they saw me try new and scary things, fail, improve, practice, study, set goals and work towards them. Because a lot of that before was stuff I did in college, that they could hear about, but not SEE. For them to see mom actually doing all the things she urges them to do (especially during the pandemic, when they were never out of the house, so always knew if I was painting or studying or writing) seems to have made a big impression on them.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 12:33 PM on February 9, 2023 [21 favorites]
I still haven't hit the daily limit for favorites. Is there one?
Based on extensive empirical research, I have not yet found one.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:28 PM on February 9, 2023 [5 favorites]
Based on extensive empirical research, I have not yet found one.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:28 PM on February 9, 2023 [5 favorites]
I stopped getting so angry. And a couple of years later, I started doing yoga.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:30 PM on February 9, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by wenestvedt at 1:30 PM on February 9, 2023 [8 favorites]
Interesting; isn't is usually the other way around?
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I can't say I've done anything I'm capital-P Proud of in this decade - the last thing I've done like that was relocating across country to the west coast by myself in 2008. When I first saw this post I felt like I've accomplished nothing at all to be proud of in the past decade, but as I think about it I find that I've done a few things I'm small-p proud of, such as develop my humor skills*, begin (and stick with!) learning piano after years of playing monophonic instruments, get out in nature and camp more in the last 10 years than I had in my entire previous lifetime, and I'm now into my 3rd year of (mostly) regular exercise...so far I'm not any thinner, but I do feel a bit better overall and I certainly sleep better.
*yeah yeah, haters gonna hate...
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:59 PM on February 9, 2023 [6 favorites]
-----
I can't say I've done anything I'm capital-P Proud of in this decade - the last thing I've done like that was relocating across country to the west coast by myself in 2008. When I first saw this post I felt like I've accomplished nothing at all to be proud of in the past decade, but as I think about it I find that I've done a few things I'm small-p proud of, such as develop my humor skills*, begin (and stick with!) learning piano after years of playing monophonic instruments, get out in nature and camp more in the last 10 years than I had in my entire previous lifetime, and I'm now into my 3rd year of (mostly) regular exercise...so far I'm not any thinner, but I do feel a bit better overall and I certainly sleep better.
*yeah yeah, haters gonna hate...
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:59 PM on February 9, 2023 [6 favorites]
I had a major conflict with a dear friend AND THEN RESOLVED IT over the course of two years and with lots of therapy and other work on both of our parts.
I bought a house with a bunch of friends and we’re still friends even after the covid winter of 220-2021
I asked out the person who turned out to be the love of my life.
I left corporate America.
I started meditating and doing yoga.
It’s been pretty terrible on the global scale, but I’m feeling really great about making goodness where I am.
posted by spindrifter at 3:48 PM on February 9, 2023 [12 favorites]
I bought a house with a bunch of friends and we’re still friends even after the covid winter of 220-2021
I asked out the person who turned out to be the love of my life.
I left corporate America.
I started meditating and doing yoga.
It’s been pretty terrible on the global scale, but I’m feeling really great about making goodness where I am.
posted by spindrifter at 3:48 PM on February 9, 2023 [12 favorites]
I'm proud of the work I did up to when I was assigned to be the 'person sacrificed so the minister (political, not religious) could say they dealt with the cause of a concerning public review'. Regardless of that piece of bullshit that ended my public service career, I feel I did good work and I did good things. Not everyone came away from interactions with me getting what they wanted and that's a good thing when you work as a regulator. I'm proud of what I achieved there.
Even more, I was so proud I was fit to burst to stand up in front of friends and family and get married for the first time at 58. I know that's actually a photo of after the wedding, technically, but it's my favourite from the event.
posted by dg at 4:11 PM on February 9, 2023 [28 favorites]
Even more, I was so proud I was fit to burst to stand up in front of friends and family and get married for the first time at 58. I know that's actually a photo of after the wedding, technically, but it's my favourite from the event.
posted by dg at 4:11 PM on February 9, 2023 [28 favorites]
I managed to leave short-term contracts and casual academic work behind, and got a proper, not-ridiculous job, with work-life balance and everything.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:40 PM on February 9, 2023 [13 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:40 PM on February 9, 2023 [13 favorites]
Walked my daughter down the aisle at her wedding.
Got an internet ordination and presided over my son’s wedding.
After those...*shrugs*...not a damned thing, I guess.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:49 PM on February 9, 2023 [13 favorites]
Got an internet ordination and presided over my son’s wedding.
After those...*shrugs*...not a damned thing, I guess.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:49 PM on February 9, 2023 [13 favorites]
I hadn't thought about it this way, as I've been dealing with the sometimes annoying daily consequences of it for almost a year now, but I became president of my local Audubon society chapter last June. Your question makes me realize that maybe I should take a bit of pride in that, and particularly in our organization and the people behind it. It may not sound like much, but in addition to holding bird walks to teach people about birding and lectures about birds and related topics, our chapter disperses a non-trivial amount of grant money to local conservation organizations to effect positive changes in local habitat. We also survey local preserved areas so that the land managers know what species are there, and are gadflies when it comes to planning and zoning changes that could adversely affect these preserved areas. In short, we do good things and I should take that into account when faced with the every day reality of presidenting.
posted by mollweide at 6:14 PM on February 9, 2023 [15 favorites]
posted by mollweide at 6:14 PM on February 9, 2023 [15 favorites]
The limit used to be 100 per day, don't know if it is still in place.
posted by Mitheral at 6:34 PM on February 9, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Mitheral at 6:34 PM on February 9, 2023 [2 favorites]
Addendum to my last answer: autism self-realization and acceptance, and also mostly emotionally-intact after 3 years of pandemic although not without costs. It felt really touch-and-go there at points.
posted by curious nu at 6:37 PM on February 9, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by curious nu at 6:37 PM on February 9, 2023 [11 favorites]
Thanks for this bump, bendy, that was a good reread.
All my pride has the same shape, it turns out: staring fear in the face and persevering. The last few years brought me another one for the archives, but not these archives. I should reflect on this pattern the next time I'm facing a problem that has me outmatched.
posted by eirias at 7:30 PM on February 9, 2023 [10 favorites]
All my pride has the same shape, it turns out: staring fear in the face and persevering. The last few years brought me another one for the archives, but not these archives. I should reflect on this pattern the next time I'm facing a problem that has me outmatched.
posted by eirias at 7:30 PM on February 9, 2023 [10 favorites]
I’ve survived.
That’s a low bar, yes. But it’s on that feels incredible to have actually done. Most importantly, I did it my way, which cemented a certain foundation, and that means the world.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:35 PM on February 9, 2023 [31 favorites]
That’s a low bar, yes. But it’s on that feels incredible to have actually done. Most importantly, I did it my way, which cemented a certain foundation, and that means the world.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:35 PM on February 9, 2023 [31 favorites]
became fluent and literate in both mandarin and japanese
posted by wooh at 8:09 PM on February 9, 2023 [16 favorites]
posted by wooh at 8:09 PM on February 9, 2023 [16 favorites]
Changed gender.
A little thing, I know....
posted by spinifex23 at 8:11 PM on February 9, 2023 [32 favorites]
A little thing, I know....
posted by spinifex23 at 8:11 PM on February 9, 2023 [32 favorites]
(under my previous handle)
Grew a herd of cattle .
Went back to uni in my 50s to become a high school teacher and scored my dream teaching job.
----
IRL
Survived ovarian cancer.
posted by Thella at 11:55 PM on February 9, 2023 [17 favorites]
Grew a herd of cattle .
Went back to uni in my 50s to become a high school teacher and scored my dream teaching job.
----
IRL
Survived ovarian cancer.
posted by Thella at 11:55 PM on February 9, 2023 [17 favorites]
Continuing from my previous comment; the thing I am most proud of that is that I took things that were broken - the farm animals when I got there; my own economic and employment future; my actual physical well-being - and I fixed them through imagination, perseverance and compassion (and amazing medical science). That's what I am proud of. To be that person who went through that to become satisfied with who I am flaws, scars and all.
posted by Thella at 12:07 AM on February 10, 2023 [14 favorites]
posted by Thella at 12:07 AM on February 10, 2023 [14 favorites]
Survived a ~year of migraines every 2-3 days, and came out the other side with better mental health than I started with, which is not the norm!
posted by ellieBOA at 1:06 AM on February 10, 2023 [13 favorites]
posted by ellieBOA at 1:06 AM on February 10, 2023 [13 favorites]
Background: My last gig [I R retire] was teaching Human Physiology on a Diploma in Pharmacy Technician Studies. Human physiology, with all its interactions and redundancy, is fascinating, if you're a bit academic. But PT1 mostly catered for folks who, for reasons, hadn't gone to regular college to become, say, The Pharmacist. Assessment for the course was 40% continuous assessment CA: 60% one final summer exam. CA was monthly quizzes on the most recent material. Marks were always worse on the Summer exam; exams are stressy for most normal people, and maybe 20% of each cohort scraped a pass, then went back to their place of work slowly to forget the difference between the pancreas and the pituitary.
Proud: May 2020, Coronorama, lock-down, cancelled classes, no in-person exams allowed. Our PT students now officially on the front line. Faculty were invited to come up with alternative ways of assessment instead of written papers. After some thought, I developed my best Obi Wan script "The Human Physiology learning outcomes have been met through continuous assessment" [rinse, repeat]. Management bought this line, because The Force is strong within me, and I took one huge stressor off the To Do List of 30 front-liners.
posted by BobTheScientist at 1:15 AM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
Proud: May 2020, Coronorama, lock-down, cancelled classes, no in-person exams allowed. Our PT students now officially on the front line. Faculty were invited to come up with alternative ways of assessment instead of written papers. After some thought, I developed my best Obi Wan script "The Human Physiology learning outcomes have been met through continuous assessment" [rinse, repeat]. Management bought this line, because The Force is strong within me, and I took one huge stressor off the To Do List of 30 front-liners.
posted by BobTheScientist at 1:15 AM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
I've helped produce evidence that female students are sidelined in the teaching laboratory. Journal paper is under review. It took about 7-8 years to get the project together, collect data and write up. MeFi played some part in motivating me to get involved and keep going at getting funding. It's well outside my research area so I'm pretty pleased about it. I'll be more pleased when the paper gets accepted.
posted by biffa at 1:27 AM on February 10, 2023 [17 favorites]
posted by biffa at 1:27 AM on February 10, 2023 [17 favorites]
Launched off three adults who I actually like and enjoy spending time with as human beings.
Walked Thing 2 down the aisle (it was more of a skip, but...).
Threw out an abusive boyfriend.
Survived "annus horribilus" in mouse-infested studio apartment AND had hip replacement surgery in that time.
Said, "Why the actual fuck do I live in the Boston suburbs when my heart is in the mountains," so cashed in all my retirement money to buy a 200 year old farmhouse in a Vermont village right before COVID (so they were practically giving this place away) and now I live in Fairyland with hiking, snowshoeing, skiing, biking and kayaking a literal stone's throw from my door.
Changed jobs in education enough to finally, at age 59, love everything about my work.
Grabbed myself an advanced degree from Harvard that my employer paid for.
Accepted that carrot sticks, pretzels, blueberries and peanut butter is a perfectly fine meal.
but most importantly, I think...
I will now pay $200 for shoes that keep my feet happy because it turns out I am actually worth that investment.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:56 AM on February 10, 2023 [24 favorites]
Walked Thing 2 down the aisle (it was more of a skip, but...).
Threw out an abusive boyfriend.
Survived "annus horribilus" in mouse-infested studio apartment AND had hip replacement surgery in that time.
Said, "Why the actual fuck do I live in the Boston suburbs when my heart is in the mountains," so cashed in all my retirement money to buy a 200 year old farmhouse in a Vermont village right before COVID (so they were practically giving this place away) and now I live in Fairyland with hiking, snowshoeing, skiing, biking and kayaking a literal stone's throw from my door.
Changed jobs in education enough to finally, at age 59, love everything about my work.
Grabbed myself an advanced degree from Harvard that my employer paid for.
Accepted that carrot sticks, pretzels, blueberries and peanut butter is a perfectly fine meal.
but most importantly, I think...
I will now pay $200 for shoes that keep my feet happy because it turns out I am actually worth that investment.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:56 AM on February 10, 2023 [24 favorites]
Over the last decade, I made an effort to say yes to every speaking opportunity I had. This despite it being something that absolutely terrified me every time. I’m being flown across the country next month to speak at an event, which is something I never ever imagined would happen. I’m proud of working hard to overcome the terror of public speaking enough to actually mostly enjoy it now!
posted by gemmy at 3:31 AM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by gemmy at 3:31 AM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
I quit smoking. I got out of a situation where I was being taken advantage of financially in the long term. I switched careers. And I wrote a novel—that is still in its very early drafts stage—but I wrote everyday for well over a year and got it down.
posted by marimeko at 4:39 AM on February 10, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by marimeko at 4:39 AM on February 10, 2023 [10 favorites]
I figured out how to take care of myself properly. I got tested and started allergy shots. Getting the allergies under control made it easier for work on healthier eating habits. I got derailed for a bit longer than I would have liked when my mom died, but got myself together eventually and started regular exercise.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:45 AM on February 10, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:45 AM on February 10, 2023 [11 favorites]
Survived "annus horribilus"
Every time I see that phrase, I misread it as "anus horribilus" which indeed sounds dreadful.
The last decade has been, shall we say, mixed (same as for just about everybody). We both had to deal with deaths of parents, including making the switch to being the adult in charge of the situation and providing (rather than receiving) comfort and structure, and while that was obviously terrible, it was handled as well as possible and lots of relationships were strengthened as a result, and I'm proud of that.
There are work accomplishments that I am proud of but those seem much more transitory and I will be much prouder when we can start transitioning to part time work and maybe eventually no work. We took a risk and moved thousands of miles from where we were living and so far it has turned out exceptionally positive.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:25 AM on February 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
Every time I see that phrase, I misread it as "anus horribilus" which indeed sounds dreadful.
The last decade has been, shall we say, mixed (same as for just about everybody). We both had to deal with deaths of parents, including making the switch to being the adult in charge of the situation and providing (rather than receiving) comfort and structure, and while that was obviously terrible, it was handled as well as possible and lots of relationships were strengthened as a result, and I'm proud of that.
There are work accomplishments that I am proud of but those seem much more transitory and I will be much prouder when we can start transitioning to part time work and maybe eventually no work. We took a risk and moved thousands of miles from where we were living and so far it has turned out exceptionally positive.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:25 AM on February 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
I made some friends this decade. Ten years ago I didn't have a lot of friends but through social media, overcoming anxiety about initiating contact with potential friends and some work on my part, I have some folks in my life I genuinely care about and who seem to care about me. It's nice.
I got over some social anxieties. I started going to some concerts alone and just striking up a conversation with the folks around me. My goal for every show is to make some sort of connection with someone, even for those three hours, and I think I've managed to do it at almost every show. Now I'm that guy who can talk to just about anyone.
My woodworking skills have gone from non-existent ten years ago to pretty good today. In the last ten years I've made things that people actually want and through the Mefi gift swap, gifting, bartering, and some charity sales I've sent stuff all over the country and one of my bowls even went as far as Poland. I'm really proud of that as I've never before made anything that could be considered "art." I still don't feel like an artist. I'm just solving a puzzle every time I make something. My next goal is to start selling stuff to support the hobby. I have trouble pricing my work but I also am not going to sell something for less than my time and effort is worth. It's sort of a contradiction but I need to get over that and just accept that if someone will pay an amount for something, that's what it's worth. There's probably gonna be an AskMe about this.
posted by bondcliff at 7:06 AM on February 10, 2023 [16 favorites]
I got over some social anxieties. I started going to some concerts alone and just striking up a conversation with the folks around me. My goal for every show is to make some sort of connection with someone, even for those three hours, and I think I've managed to do it at almost every show. Now I'm that guy who can talk to just about anyone.
My woodworking skills have gone from non-existent ten years ago to pretty good today. In the last ten years I've made things that people actually want and through the Mefi gift swap, gifting, bartering, and some charity sales I've sent stuff all over the country and one of my bowls even went as far as Poland. I'm really proud of that as I've never before made anything that could be considered "art." I still don't feel like an artist. I'm just solving a puzzle every time I make something. My next goal is to start selling stuff to support the hobby. I have trouble pricing my work but I also am not going to sell something for less than my time and effort is worth. It's sort of a contradiction but I need to get over that and just accept that if someone will pay an amount for something, that's what it's worth. There's probably gonna be an AskMe about this.
posted by bondcliff at 7:06 AM on February 10, 2023 [16 favorites]
I am continuing to both a) be a better person than I was the decade before and b) readjust my internal meter to realize I still have a long way to go. By time they put me in the ground, I figure I should be a decent human being.
Our kid is already way better than either of us today, so that's an achievement.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:39 AM on February 10, 2023 [10 favorites]
Our kid is already way better than either of us today, so that's an achievement.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:39 AM on February 10, 2023 [10 favorites]
I finally got into stage shows.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:43 AM on February 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:43 AM on February 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
I am amazed by the things that you've all been doing. DAMN, MEFITES, YOU'RE AMAZING!
And in a lot of these stories I see people who finally made the decision that they would start to do something they'd long known that they wanted, needed, or deserved. That's an amazing thing to realize: that the doorway is right in front of you and it's open and you merely need to step through, with no one's permission.
I'm fifty, and it's still so hard. Like DirtyOldTown, I have just started to improve the things that need fixing: if I live to be 100 years old, I'll still be a work in progress.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:54 AM on February 10, 2023 [14 favorites]
And in a lot of these stories I see people who finally made the decision that they would start to do something they'd long known that they wanted, needed, or deserved. That's an amazing thing to realize: that the doorway is right in front of you and it's open and you merely need to step through, with no one's permission.
I'm fifty, and it's still so hard. Like DirtyOldTown, I have just started to improve the things that need fixing: if I live to be 100 years old, I'll still be a work in progress.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:54 AM on February 10, 2023 [14 favorites]
Read a book cover to cover in November. My first since having a stroke in 2016. Prior attempts just led to frustrated confusion. I'd been doing audiobooks as a substitute. I used to read 3-4 books a week.
Am right now 100 pages in to Jon Fosse's Septology and it seems to be going well.
The stroke caused me to sell my record store to a competitor but I've since launched another one after living in a few countries for 2 to 6 months each (America, Vanuatu, Spain, Dominican).
posted by dobbs at 10:49 AM on February 10, 2023 [18 favorites]
Am right now 100 pages in to Jon Fosse's Septology and it seems to be going well.
The stroke caused me to sell my record store to a competitor but I've since launched another one after living in a few countries for 2 to 6 months each (America, Vanuatu, Spain, Dominican).
posted by dobbs at 10:49 AM on February 10, 2023 [18 favorites]
Once I finish paying the school (so I can get my diploma), it will be finally getting my bachelor's degree. A long string of stupid life choices made it take far too long, but it's done now, and I finally have a job in a field that I should be able to continue in indefinitely, one where I will have a predictable schedule and can actually show up for my family. Eventually getting on salary is a goal too, but I'm not there yet.
posted by Night_owl at 10:52 AM on February 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by Night_owl at 10:52 AM on February 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
I guess the more obvious answer to what I've been doing this decade is: posting movies on FF.
The Fall is #1000.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:16 PM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
The Fall is #1000.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:16 PM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
YOU DID IT YOU CRAZY BASTARD
posted by wenestvedt at 1:31 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by wenestvedt at 1:31 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
I started figure skating as an adult 2.5 years ago (minus the six months of rink closures), and omg, I am jumping and spinning!!!
I have no idea why this skill means so much to me, but it is in fact the singular skill I am most proudest of acquiring of all the things I have ever learned to do. And I'm not even very good at it. I am even possibly laughably bad at it, perhaps, but I can check off the requirements in the judging manual, so there is no question that I am doing it.
When I'm having a bad day and thinking that I will never improve my situation, whatever it may be, it often floats to mind, "Nah, you'll get through this - you figured out that Salchow, right?"
posted by Tandem Affinity at 4:06 PM on February 10, 2023 [13 favorites]
I have no idea why this skill means so much to me, but it is in fact the singular skill I am most proudest of acquiring of all the things I have ever learned to do. And I'm not even very good at it. I am even possibly laughably bad at it, perhaps, but I can check off the requirements in the judging manual, so there is no question that I am doing it.
When I'm having a bad day and thinking that I will never improve my situation, whatever it may be, it often floats to mind, "Nah, you'll get through this - you figured out that Salchow, right?"
posted by Tandem Affinity at 4:06 PM on February 10, 2023 [13 favorites]
A guy tried to go through the crosswalk when children were present on their way to school.
I dropped my coffee, smacked the hood of his car (alas I do not know if I dented it), broke off his antenna, spit on the window, pointed at the kids and gave him the finger.
The crossing guards cheered. A parent gave me a high-five.
Sometimes it's kinda nice to be a monster?
[My hand hurt for like a solid day. Also, who still uses an antenna?]
posted by aramaic at 6:47 PM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
I dropped my coffee, smacked the hood of his car (alas I do not know if I dented it), broke off his antenna, spit on the window, pointed at the kids and gave him the finger.
The crossing guards cheered. A parent gave me a high-five.
Sometimes it's kinda nice to be a monster?
[My hand hurt for like a solid day. Also, who still uses an antenna?]
posted by aramaic at 6:47 PM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
Last month was my ten year anniversary of moving to this town!
So in the last decade, I started teaching, survived a really weird first year, started to mentor others, became president of the union sub-branch, and was part of leading some really positive change at my school. I also have become a leader at my church.
More importantly, I started living on my own, bought a house, got married, and have now got two gorgeous kiddos. I also rejoined metafilter.
It's been a big 10 years- part of that is stage of life, but still, a massive decade!
posted by freethefeet at 7:33 PM on February 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
So in the last decade, I started teaching, survived a really weird first year, started to mentor others, became president of the union sub-branch, and was part of leading some really positive change at my school. I also have become a leader at my church.
More importantly, I started living on my own, bought a house, got married, and have now got two gorgeous kiddos. I also rejoined metafilter.
It's been a big 10 years- part of that is stage of life, but still, a massive decade!
posted by freethefeet at 7:33 PM on February 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
I posted in that last thread, but I guess didn’t really read it. I went back through and favorited everything, because I love seeing people just being real here. Good show of not just living through it, but making the best of it and being who you are!
Last week I went down to my AA home group on birthday night and celebrated 25 years of continuous sobriety. Apparently, this is a big deal. I’m pretty damn happy I don’t have to be that guy anymore and have never looked back, except to say I’m sorry.
Life feels really stable, but in the last 4 years, I have made a few changes. I took a 15% cut in pay to get out of a really toxic job and am just happier every day that I did so. Career-wise, I still nominally do the same thing, but am focusing more and more on effectively managing people — keeping them engaged, helping them grow and giving them the tools to thrive. I’ve always been more of a technician than a people person, so this has been a gradual and interesting shift. It feels meaningful.
The music thing has evolved. Before COVID, I was constantly in and out of 3 or 4 bands at a time, of varying activity levels, gigging pretty steadily on weekends, and hustling to keep up with long set lists, and all that entailed. COVID brought it all to a screeching halt until this last spring, when gigs started to flow again. I jumped back in with both feet, but suddenly found I really wasn’t happy about it anymore. I had to look at my ambition and what it meant at 59 years old, and except for one band I really enjoy being in, I called the whole off. Again, no regrets. I lived the life, I don’t want to live it anymore. The Coffee Sergeants is like a clubhouse where us old farts play cool songs. That’ll do.
Kids are thriving, I have already loudly broadcast here my joy with the daughter’s successful mission down there at NASA just this fall, and you know, things are going as well as you could reasonably expect them to in this day and age.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:51 PM on February 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
Last week I went down to my AA home group on birthday night and celebrated 25 years of continuous sobriety. Apparently, this is a big deal. I’m pretty damn happy I don’t have to be that guy anymore and have never looked back, except to say I’m sorry.
Life feels really stable, but in the last 4 years, I have made a few changes. I took a 15% cut in pay to get out of a really toxic job and am just happier every day that I did so. Career-wise, I still nominally do the same thing, but am focusing more and more on effectively managing people — keeping them engaged, helping them grow and giving them the tools to thrive. I’ve always been more of a technician than a people person, so this has been a gradual and interesting shift. It feels meaningful.
The music thing has evolved. Before COVID, I was constantly in and out of 3 or 4 bands at a time, of varying activity levels, gigging pretty steadily on weekends, and hustling to keep up with long set lists, and all that entailed. COVID brought it all to a screeching halt until this last spring, when gigs started to flow again. I jumped back in with both feet, but suddenly found I really wasn’t happy about it anymore. I had to look at my ambition and what it meant at 59 years old, and except for one band I really enjoy being in, I called the whole off. Again, no regrets. I lived the life, I don’t want to live it anymore. The Coffee Sergeants is like a clubhouse where us old farts play cool songs. That’ll do.
Kids are thriving, I have already loudly broadcast here my joy with the daughter’s successful mission down there at NASA just this fall, and you know, things are going as well as you could reasonably expect them to in this day and age.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:51 PM on February 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
I womaned up and got TMS treatment for my depression 💪
posted by soakimbo at 7:55 PM on February 10, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by soakimbo at 7:55 PM on February 10, 2023 [10 favorites]
That's a great band name!
Apparently, “Coffee Corporal“ was a derisive name that some military people used to describe civilian contractors, and when Carey, the main songwriter, was working for a company that provided food services to (UN?) troops in the Sinai peninsula in the 70’s, he got promoted to Coffee Sergeant by a particularly crabby cook.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:19 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
Apparently, “Coffee Corporal“ was a derisive name that some military people used to describe civilian contractors, and when Carey, the main songwriter, was working for a company that provided food services to (UN?) troops in the Sinai peninsula in the 70’s, he got promoted to Coffee Sergeant by a particularly crabby cook.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:19 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
I got my first two novels published.
posted by kyrademon at 3:11 AM on February 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by kyrademon at 3:11 AM on February 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
Devil's Rancher, 25 years is a hell of a thing. High (so to speak) five to you.
Damn, you're doing it!
posted by wenestvedt at 11:16 AM on February 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Damn, you're doing it!
posted by wenestvedt at 11:16 AM on February 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
I realized this year that my husband and I have been running our play by email roleplaying game since 2001 (so almost the whole time we've been married), so we'll hit 22 years this summer. I will never write a published book but we've entertained somewhere between a dozen and twenty players all this time and that's probably more entertainment, if not more people, than if I had.
In a world where most entertainment is designed to be absorbed passively and cost a lot of money, our game costs nothing beyond having an email address to play. If you really want to spend the big bucks, you can find the two out-of-print RPGs we used to Frankenstein the system together or the books (also available in one giant volume) that one of the RPGs is based on and that we took the game background from. But basically we're a bunch of people sitting around an electronic fire entertaining each other by telling stories and honestly I think that's not a bad way to spend our time, and a bit of a punk rebellion against passive consumption.
And we kept this up during the five years of my mother's decline and death, and now through my mother-in-law's decline (she's not gone physically, though I'll be surprised if she makes another year, but illness has mostly checked her out already, alas), with the help of the community we made doing it. Proud is a bit of a weird word for how I feel, but I feel something positive about the whole thing.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 11:49 AM on February 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
In a world where most entertainment is designed to be absorbed passively and cost a lot of money, our game costs nothing beyond having an email address to play. If you really want to spend the big bucks, you can find the two out-of-print RPGs we used to Frankenstein the system together or the books (also available in one giant volume) that one of the RPGs is based on and that we took the game background from. But basically we're a bunch of people sitting around an electronic fire entertaining each other by telling stories and honestly I think that's not a bad way to spend our time, and a bit of a punk rebellion against passive consumption.
And we kept this up during the five years of my mother's decline and death, and now through my mother-in-law's decline (she's not gone physically, though I'll be surprised if she makes another year, but illness has mostly checked her out already, alas), with the help of the community we made doing it. Proud is a bit of a weird word for how I feel, but I feel something positive about the whole thing.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 11:49 AM on February 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
I completed a four year apprenticeship as an industrial electrician, and finished all my tasks for a leadership course I took.
posted by drezdn at 1:37 PM on February 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by drezdn at 1:37 PM on February 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
A guy tried to go through the crosswalk when children were present on their way to school.
I dropped my coffee, smacked the hood of his car (alas I do not know if I dented it), broke off his antenna, spit on the window, pointed at the kids and gave him the finger.
The crossing guards cheered. A parent gave me a high-five.
Sometimes it's kinda nice to be a monster?
[My hand hurt for like a solid day. Also, who still uses an antenna?]
posted by aramaic at 8:47 PM on February 10
Not at all a monster. You are a fine citizen. If I lived where you live I would buy you at least three coffees to make up for the one you dropped, plus to reward you for being A Great Citizen.
edit: I hope you dented the hood.
posted by dancestoblue at 9:58 PM on February 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
I dropped my coffee, smacked the hood of his car (alas I do not know if I dented it), broke off his antenna, spit on the window, pointed at the kids and gave him the finger.
The crossing guards cheered. A parent gave me a high-five.
Sometimes it's kinda nice to be a monster?
[My hand hurt for like a solid day. Also, who still uses an antenna?]
posted by aramaic at 8:47 PM on February 10
Not at all a monster. You are a fine citizen. If I lived where you live I would buy you at least three coffees to make up for the one you dropped, plus to reward you for being A Great Citizen.
edit: I hope you dented the hood.
posted by dancestoblue at 9:58 PM on February 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
I try not to go in for pride myself. I'm at the age where falls fucking hurt.
The first thirteen months of my decade were completely concerned with caregiving -- the kind of work that only gets more complicated and consuming the further it goes. Until it ends with a death at which point you are set free, sort of, because sorrow is heavy, there's no getting around it.
Anyway, I stuck it out. I'm here to tell the tale. The hardest work of my life in far more ways than one.
Zero regrets.
posted by philip-random at 10:23 PM on February 11, 2023 [9 favorites]
The first thirteen months of my decade were completely concerned with caregiving -- the kind of work that only gets more complicated and consuming the further it goes. Until it ends with a death at which point you are set free, sort of, because sorrow is heavy, there's no getting around it.
Anyway, I stuck it out. I'm here to tell the tale. The hardest work of my life in far more ways than one.
Zero regrets.
posted by philip-random at 10:23 PM on February 11, 2023 [9 favorites]
In the 2020-2021 school year, our district began with completely online learning, as many districts did. It worked fine for my oldest and youngest kids, but the boy in the middle was miserable. It was his sixth grade year, and between autism, ADHD, and dysgraphia, online school was a nightmare. He couldn't write fast enough neatly enough to take useful notes, he struggled to pay attention to the screen for that long, and he couldn't assert himself over video to say he missed something or needed help. On the third day of school I went into his room to check on him, and he had turned off the camera and was in the fetal position, crying, on the floor. That afternoon I sent the email withdrawing him from public school. Then I started homeschooling.
It was the most challenging year of schedule-juggling I've ever experienced. I was also teaching online, although my classes were asynchronous college courses, so basically we'd start to work together about 8:30, walk the puppy (so she'd get her energy out and let us do school), go through his lessons, break for lunch, then wrap up his school about 2:00. Then I'd start recording videos for my students to watch and do all other work of online teaching--preparing assignments, converting tests to online format, grading homework, answering emails. That--plus making supper and checking on the other kids--kept me going until bedtime. Inevitably, I'd be behind on something by Saturday and would spend weekends catching up. I did that for nine months, dawn till dusk. It was exhausting. But the next fall he re-entered public school as a seventh graders and had all As and Bs, so....it worked. We got through that year without him getting behind. Maybe he's even better off than his peers who did online school all year.
I didn't think I would even need to do it again, but now the youngest kid is in 6th grade and that child got a really bad roll of the genetic dice. There are plenty of people coping with anxiety on her mom's side of the family, but T seems to have inherited a really debilitating anxiety disorder, with a little paranoia thrown in for good measure. It's been going on for a while, but over Christmas we moved her--at her request--from a pretty intense gifted and talented academy she had qualified for into the local middle school, hoping with an easier schedule the anxiety would ease up a bit. It did not. In the first ten days of the semester I got a phone call each day from the school counselor saying that my kid was inconsolable and couldn't stop shaking and I had to come pick them up. For now, T just can't handle the school environment. We're working with therapists and psychiatrists and doing everything we can to get this formerly bubbly 11yo back to enjoying life and managing the bumpy days that come her way, but it's going to take a while. In the meantime, I'm home schooling a sixth grader again. This time I'm having to do it while also physically traveling to the college and teaching in person, but at least I have all the materials I need and I've done it before. T is doing a pretty good job of going through the assignments I leave her to work on while I'm away. We're going to have to work over the summer to get through the entire 6th grade curriculum, but that's okay.
This parenting thing--it's not always easy. It's been pretty consistently not-easy for a long while now. But one way or another I'm going to get these three to a stable and productive adulthood. We're going to make it. The successes we've had so far are what I'm proudest of.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 11:31 AM on February 13, 2023 [16 favorites]
It was the most challenging year of schedule-juggling I've ever experienced. I was also teaching online, although my classes were asynchronous college courses, so basically we'd start to work together about 8:30, walk the puppy (so she'd get her energy out and let us do school), go through his lessons, break for lunch, then wrap up his school about 2:00. Then I'd start recording videos for my students to watch and do all other work of online teaching--preparing assignments, converting tests to online format, grading homework, answering emails. That--plus making supper and checking on the other kids--kept me going until bedtime. Inevitably, I'd be behind on something by Saturday and would spend weekends catching up. I did that for nine months, dawn till dusk. It was exhausting. But the next fall he re-entered public school as a seventh graders and had all As and Bs, so....it worked. We got through that year without him getting behind. Maybe he's even better off than his peers who did online school all year.
I didn't think I would even need to do it again, but now the youngest kid is in 6th grade and that child got a really bad roll of the genetic dice. There are plenty of people coping with anxiety on her mom's side of the family, but T seems to have inherited a really debilitating anxiety disorder, with a little paranoia thrown in for good measure. It's been going on for a while, but over Christmas we moved her--at her request--from a pretty intense gifted and talented academy she had qualified for into the local middle school, hoping with an easier schedule the anxiety would ease up a bit. It did not. In the first ten days of the semester I got a phone call each day from the school counselor saying that my kid was inconsolable and couldn't stop shaking and I had to come pick them up. For now, T just can't handle the school environment. We're working with therapists and psychiatrists and doing everything we can to get this formerly bubbly 11yo back to enjoying life and managing the bumpy days that come her way, but it's going to take a while. In the meantime, I'm home schooling a sixth grader again. This time I'm having to do it while also physically traveling to the college and teaching in person, but at least I have all the materials I need and I've done it before. T is doing a pretty good job of going through the assignments I leave her to work on while I'm away. We're going to have to work over the summer to get through the entire 6th grade curriculum, but that's okay.
This parenting thing--it's not always easy. It's been pretty consistently not-easy for a long while now. But one way or another I'm going to get these three to a stable and productive adulthood. We're going to make it. The successes we've had so far are what I'm proudest of.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 11:31 AM on February 13, 2023 [16 favorites]
Pater Aletheias, my heart goes out to you. Solidarity. I think when you look back on this in ten years time you will continue to be very proud of yourself and your kids.
posted by eirias at 12:21 PM on February 13, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by eirias at 12:21 PM on February 13, 2023 [6 favorites]
But one way or another I'm going to get these three to a stable and productive adulthood.
This is the most important work that there is, and I know you’re the dad for the job.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:08 PM on February 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
This is the most important work that there is, and I know you’re the dad for the job.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:08 PM on February 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
I paid off my house. It's not a grand house, and initially my mother had to co-sign the loan but over the years I've gotten my credit to excellent. I paid it off a little early, too!
I'm proud of the two young men who are my sons. I truly enjoy their company!
I ended a dead-end relationship, amicably, spent time alone, tried a dating app, and met a man I consider to be my other half. It's taken years, but now, at 56, I am very, very happy with where I am in life.
Kudos to us all!
posted by annieb at 5:22 PM on February 15, 2023 [8 favorites]
I'm proud of the two young men who are my sons. I truly enjoy their company!
I ended a dead-end relationship, amicably, spent time alone, tried a dating app, and met a man I consider to be my other half. It's taken years, but now, at 56, I am very, very happy with where I am in life.
Kudos to us all!
posted by annieb at 5:22 PM on February 15, 2023 [8 favorites]
Went back to dance classes after 25+ years and started doing 5Ks.
posted by kathrynm at 5:07 PM on February 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by kathrynm at 5:07 PM on February 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
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posted by rjs at 11:53 AM on February 9, 2023 [13 favorites]