"I just spat coffee all over my computer" September 3, 2003 2:33 AM   Subscribe

"I just spat coffee all over my computer"
Did you? Did you really?
posted by meech to Etiquette/Policy at 2:33 AM (111 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

At least 50 MF-ites have claimed a varitaion of this. Come clean - admit that you're lying, that you're simply being clichéd. Maybe I'm getting annoyed erroneously - if so, tell your story, what happened next? Did you ruin your computer? Did you have to call the IT person over? I know this is startlingly trivial but curiosity compels me to find out if I should keep being irritated by this phrase or if in fact there is an epidemic of coffee spluttering affecting the people of Metafilter.
posted by meech at 2:33 AM on September 3, 2003


hi. i'm sorry. what the hell is the point of this post again?

i often get annoyed when i have to wait too long for the elevator in my building. does that warrant a MetaTalk post?
posted by christian at 2:56 AM on September 3, 2003


It's performance art.

L'Ordinateur avec Café, mixed media, 2003.
posted by rory at 2:59 AM on September 3, 2003


In MeTa, no one can hear you spew.
posted by Dagobert at 3:16 AM on September 3, 2003


You should see the stuff that hits my computer when I'm on other sites.


Now get outta here.
posted by Frasermoo at 3:54 AM on September 3, 2003 [1 favorite]


I've been hating (not, I mean hating) that half-wit bullshit shorthand for years now. It is used all over the goddamn intermap, all the goddamn time, not just here.

I've nipple-tweaked a few people about it, here and elsewhere, when I was feeling cranky. I've wearily clambered, over and over again, up to the top of the nearest clocktower, carrying an automatic weapon, a radio-controlled mouse, and a paper cup of delicious instant coffee, just waiting for the moment some idiot used some variation of the hated phrase rather than coming up with something less rote-learned. I've squeezed off a round or two at the moon, because I invariably forgot what I was up there for.

Never felt compelled to start a MeTa thread about it, though.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:16 AM on September 3, 2003 [1 favorite]


I've never used the word 'crotchety' before, but . . .
posted by dgaicun at 4:24 AM on September 3, 2003


I am a cliche, when I laugh I either spray beer on the screen or splurt coffee through my nose. Haven't done the milk-bubbles through nose thing since high school though.
posted by dabitch at 4:43 AM on September 3, 2003


I've nipple-tweaked a few people about it, here and elsewhere, when I was feeling cranky.

But did you really reach over and grab someone's nipple and tweak it as you claim? Really?

Well, perhaps I should start a MeTa thread about this obvious falsehood.
posted by Space Coyote at 5:00 AM on September 3, 2003


Yeah I realise this is very tenuous territory but I did have a couple of slight reasons:
1. To see a list of damage done to computers through the alleged spurting. This mundane list would thrill me and hopefully I wouldn't be alone [though I quite see the potential that I may].
2. Or if the spurting was all a big lie others would suggest different phrases that they feel are sliding into the world of cliché.

By the way, I don't think myself above cliché - just pointing out one whose absence would improve the glamourous/glossy world of metafilter.com.
posted by meech at 5:18 AM on September 3, 2003


I am, in fact, buck naked as I write this post, and possibly slightly aroused.

Go ahead, investigate.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:19 AM on September 3, 2003


*gets out clorox to wipe down monitor. Thinks better of it, goes for the Lysol*
posted by konolia at 5:26 AM on September 3, 2003


reach over and grab someone's nipple and tweak it

My oldest son reached out to remove a thread his brother's clothes and the younger one, thinking he was about to receive a nipple-cripple got in quicker, forgetting his older and much bigger brother had a nipple ring.
posted by Tarrama at 5:28 AM on September 3, 2003


Does this mean people aren't really rolling on the floor laughing too? Say it ain't so!
posted by JoanArkham at 5:29 AM on September 3, 2003


I did, once, in fact, truly and honestly, spray Appletize out of my nose and mouth onto my monitor, while watching Superman 3, at the point when Richard Prior is wearing an enourmous green foam novelty cowboy hat and falling about drunk in some sort of control room.

The damage was, thankfully, minimal, and after pausing to wipe the monitor down with a T-shirt lying on the floor next to my desk, I returned to watching the film, only to find it wasn't as good as I thought it was when I was little, with the notable exception of Prior's amusing headgear.

Is that the sort of thing you're after meech? Perhaps someone could purchase www.truespraystories.org and build a thriving community of nasal beverage expellers...
posted by jack_mo at 5:30 AM on September 3, 2003


Well, OK, I typed abusive phrases while tweaking my own nipples.

Oh, the shame.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:38 AM on September 3, 2003


I can't say I every actually considered starting a MeTa thread about it, but I have often wondered as what point the membership reached sufficient numbers to assure that any joke posted would be read by at least one member who both found it hilarious and had a mouthful of coffee.

As for other cliches, "intarweb" and its derivatives drives me nuts.
posted by Nothing at 5:41 AM on September 3, 2003


"Ever." And probably "ensure."
posted by Nothing at 5:42 AM on September 3, 2003


We use conventional phrases in our dealings with others all the time. We say, "How are you?" to people, and often we don't really want to know how they are. It's just a greeting phrase, not meant to be taken literally. In the text-oriented world that is MetaFilter, I believe conventional phrases are even more important. This one means, "I laughed at your comment and/or post really really hard, much harder than I normally laugh at things I read on MetaFilter." You want people to say THAT over and over again instead?

Well, if you're really sick of the liquid-on-the-computer imagery, I'm sure this crowd can come up with another one. Probably something to do with pancakes. Pancakes that vibrate.
posted by JanetLand at 5:57 AM on September 3, 2003


Declare war on idioms. But not literally.
posted by stonerose at 6:04 AM on September 3, 2003


Man, JanetLand, I just stavrosed all over my monitor. Really.
posted by yhbc at 6:30 AM on September 3, 2003


metafilter: 17,000+ nipple-tweaking monitor spewers and one portuguese guy in a smoking jacket.
posted by madamjujujive at 6:30 AM on September 3, 2003


Now listen here, spewing (and snorfing, an important variant that we shall discuss later) are time-honored measures of funniness. I choose to believe that at least one person who has told me he spewed coffee on his keyboard at something I wrote really did spew coffee. This means a lot to me and I will not have it taken away by some cranky MeFi nitwit who wants to question the veracity of the entire coffee-spewing trend!

And "snorfing" is the correct term for what jack_mo is refferring to when he says "I did, once, in fact, truly and honestly, spray Appletize out of my nose and mouth onto my monitor..." (dabitch also refers to this phenomenon above.)

When nasal passages become involved, it is a much higher distinction than simple "spewing." Once, at a birthday party in 5th grade, someone (Robbie Brennan?) said something so funny that I snorfed spicy pepperoni (from a pizza) out through my right nostril. The pain was intense, yet I just kept on laughing.

Now if I could only remember what the joke was...
posted by Shane at 6:44 AM on September 3, 2003


Ah, but madamjujive, how many nipple-tweaking monitor spewers do we REALLY have?

I for one have never tweaked a nip. Becuase that's just unkind. And I don't drink coffee ever. I have, however, been surprised to find just how hard I can be laughing while maintaining the ability to type.
posted by orange swan at 6:47 AM on September 3, 2003


If we acted in real life the same way we do on MeFi I could picture a lot of actual physical nipple incidents. You know, between the spewing of coffee in each others' faces.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:51 AM on September 3, 2003


God help us all when Quonsar gets in here.
posted by anathema at 6:57 AM on September 3, 2003


But did you really reach over and grab someone's nipple and tweak it as you claim? Really?

**rubs chest**

Yes, he did. And it was very painful. And oddly stimulating.
posted by jonmc at 6:59 AM on September 3, 2003


I was at the Barnes and Noble public library last night, breezing through a copy of Al Franken's new book. I'll cop to the fact that I was drinking a caramal macchiato. There, I said it. Around page 100, Franken lays into this chart that Sean Hannity used in his book, replacing the values in one spurious column with the words, "This column makes no fucking sense." I was not expecting to find humor in a table illustrating congressional budgets and thus I did, in fact, spray a bit of caramel macchiato on the page.

I don't think I've ever sprayed coffee onto my keyboard, though. And I'm not sure if caramel macchiato counts as coffee. But I did do the honorable thing and purchase the book.
posted by vraxoin at 7:01 AM on September 3, 2003


Does this mean people aren't really rolling on the floor laughing too?

And you know, I always thought that an ass falling off would be more painful than they seemed to let on.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 7:03 AM on September 3, 2003


meech, are you having troubles at home? if there's anything you wanna talk about, please feel free to stop by my office anytime!
posted by mcsweetie at 7:07 AM on September 3, 2003


Like causing spewage and snorfation, erecting nipples also has a proud heritage.
posted by Shane at 7:15 AM on September 3, 2003


**rubs chest** Yes, he did. And it was very painful. And oddly stimulating

Stavros the phantom nipple-twister strikes again!
posted by Tarrama at 7:24 AM on September 3, 2003


<anecdote type="personal/rambling">

Recently, in a wholly unintentional historical reenactment of the vintage FoxTrot strip, I spilled about 300ml of Coke into the keyboard of a computer which a friend had lent me for the summer while he went overseas. I managed to pour most of it out, but enough ended up pooling around the bottom rows to throw in some temporary damaging effects.

Interestingly enough, the Coke ended up crossing a few keyboard wires, metaphorical or otherwise, so that hitting Z would result in a T, X would result in a U, and other exciting reassignments. What made this notable, however, was the fact that this keyboard had Standby and Power buttons at the top, which also ended up conveniently reassigned: now, to put the system on standby, you needed only to press the left Shift key. Poweroff was, appropriately enough, the left-hand Microsoft Windows key. So for a few days while the Coke dried out, the Windows key actually held some practical use for me.

</anecdote>
posted by DrJohnEvans at 7:25 AM on September 3, 2003


Instant classic.
Congratulations! You just took the "most useless MeTa post ever" award out of Miguel Cardoso's hands.
posted by 111 at 7:26 AM on September 3, 2003


*sprays skinny decaf caramel frapamochachino all over monitor*
posted by item at 7:28 AM on September 3, 2003


Man, JanetLand, I just stavrosed all over my monitor. Really.

Stavrosed...best. new. verb. Ever.

In fact, it made me stavrose out loud. (And the added bonus of nipple tweaking just makes it all the better...) Ah, wonderchicken...will your marvels never cease?
posted by dejah420 at 7:40 AM on September 3, 2003


I spilled beer on my keyboard once, rendering the numberpad useless. Fortunately, it was at home. Does that count?
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:45 AM on September 3, 2003


*sadliwatbw*

sitting at desk laughing inwardly while appearing to be working.
posted by th3ph17 at 7:47 AM on September 3, 2003


Once, while drinking a gin and tonic (I am not gay) at a bar after work, a friend asked another friend and coworker how he was getting along with his new desk job at the bank. The coworker responded by puffing out his chest and saying proudly, "I've been promoted to President of the United States!" And I spit gin and tonic (again, not gay) on the third party friend who asked the question. And just this past weekend I had to spit water into a glass (alas, not my glass, even) to prevent myself from choking or spraying it all over the livingroom, but for the life of me I cannot remember what was so god damn funny.

I've certainly L-O-Led while reading Mefi, but I've never spit anything out as a result. Nor have I ever rolled on the floor with laughter, online or off, but I did laugh so hard I fell out of a chair while watching "Whose Line Is It Anyway."

Or maybe I was drunk.
posted by jennyb at 7:59 AM on September 3, 2003


I've never spewed anything--and I don't believe I've admitted to doing so--but that's only because we're not allowed beverages at work and because I have no running water at home. In fact, my computer is coal-fired, and made of papyrus.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:32 AM on September 3, 2003


jennyb, are you gay?
posted by Shane at 8:42 AM on September 3, 2003


I can honestly say (well, I can, who can prove otherwise?) that I have spurted tea out my nose reading something online at least once in the past.

More amusing is when a co-worker and I would IM each other and type "LOL" when we could HEAR each other laughing (or not). Computers make you weird.
posted by biscotti at 8:45 AM on September 3, 2003


An office friend actually peed in one of my office chairs, but I don't remember what was so funny, either. Then I switched that chair for one of the bastard's next door.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 8:46 AM on September 3, 2003


How great would it be if every comment on MeFi randomly contained an affirmation of sexual orientation for no reason whatsoever? IraqFilter would be hilarious! "I'm not gay, and I am very proud of this war."
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:49 AM on September 3, 2003


Shane, I must have gotten it backwards, I thought snorfing meant inwards (as in spaghetti up the nose) whereas splurting was out (as in spaghetti out through the nose). Pepperoni probably hurts a million times worse. Wanna get a pizza and discuss? :)
posted by dabitch at 8:49 AM on September 3, 2003


I nearly sprayed coffee over my iBook this morning. Always make coffee in a cafetiere & for some reason we have espresso-blend coffee at the moment [= finer grounds]. When I pushed down the plunger the pressure under it forced a load of coffee up thru the spout & then horizontally accross a 12" radius. Just missing the computer. Which was shut anyway.

[/crap anecdote]
posted by i_cola at 8:56 AM on September 3, 2003


Snorfing sounds like a cousin of "Olympic Jello snorfling," a competitive event tracing it's history back to Bloom County.

I definitely had the impression that snorfling was in, not out.

BTW, Google has one hit for "olympic jello snorfling."

Well, it'll probably have another in a week or so...
posted by NortonDC at 8:57 AM on September 3, 2003


XQUZ

don't ask - don't tell
posted by matteo at 8:58 AM on September 3, 2003


I thought snorfing meant inwards (as in spaghetti up the nose) whereas splurting was out (as in spaghetti out through the nose).

Hmm. My tail is between my legs (and this is not easy -- try it yourself sometime.) Snorfing may indeed refer to the uptake, not the, um, outtake, of material through the nasal passages (and onto whatever or whomever is in front of you).

Or maybe it's all a matter of T's and F's? I mean, snorting is definitely in-thru-the-nose. And splurfing may actually be forceful-nasal-ejection of the goods.

I dunno. dabitch, I'll hop a plane to Copenhagen and we can discuss T's and F's and then splurf, snorf, and splorff all over each other (if you're into that sort of fun?)
(Okay, so nobody's spewing or snorfing over this comment. Oh well.)
posted by Shane at 9:00 AM on September 3, 2003


One of the funniest comedy sketches I've ever, ever seen in my whole life was put on by a troupe at my universtiy. The entire cast came out and pretended they were at a party, all holding drinks. A conversation vignette between two or three of them would be spotlighted. About three to four sentences into said conversation, one of them would say something shocking like "Did you hear Tanya got engaged in three days?" and the other members of the conversation would spew their drinks. This progressed until there were vignettes where nobody was saying anything funny at all, but after a single sentence (or midway through it), the other members of the conversation would spew.

Hilarious. Pure comedy gold. Loses something in translation.
posted by weston at 9:16 AM on September 3, 2003


How great would it be if every comment on MeFi randomly contained an affirmation of sexual orientation for no reason whatsoever?

Sounds like something that might happen at one of those Christian Reform Program camps where people become UnGay.

"Hi, my name's Bob, I drank some Pepsi today, and I'M NOT GAY!"

("Hello, Bob! We're not gay either!" [applause])
posted by Shane at 9:17 AM on September 3, 2003


I drink G&T, support same-sex mariage, live in Vancouver's West End and own a dog. I didn't think I was gay.
posted by timeistight at 9:21 AM on September 3, 2003 [1 favorite]


"'I just spat coffee all over my computer'
Did you? Did you really?"


No, I didn't. I don't drink coffee.

You were talking to me, right?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:37 AM on September 3, 2003


Okay, I totally WIN THIS CONTEST! (And I love this post -- everytime I read that line about spewing coffee I think "LIAR!")

I was in an internet cafe in Miami... last winter? Yeah. Last winter. I finally totally hooked up my G3 mac laptop to their stupid ethernet whatever and commenced browsing, laptop on, surprisingly enough, my actual lap. Whatever, I answered email, I blogged a little, I checking in on MeFi -- I was an obsessive MeFi reader at the time -- and I wish, I WISH, I knew what I was reading, but I started cracking up and the laptop slid off my lap and bounced on its side off the floor.

The laptop remains, but the screen card or the screen itself is fucked: it looks like a Paul Smith bag, with vertical multicolored lines running up and down. When I read white text on gray backgrounds (AHEM!) I have to move the browser window around to read all the words.

Of course, I'm STILL using the fucking thing every day, although I'm frantically saving to buy a new one.

THE END. Pity me.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 9:52 AM on September 3, 2003


Yes, RJ wins, but only so I can say so and say HI SWEETIE to him.

k thx bbeye
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:56 AM on September 3, 2003


I went through a period of drinking waaay too much Bombay Gin(-n-T). I never cared if anyone thought I was gay, I was too busy worrying they might think I was English :-)
(Kidding.)
posted by Shane at 9:59 AM on September 3, 2003


I only ever communicate via text and hand signals, so that my ridiculous lisp doesn't give me away as a Gay. I also drink my G & T through a straw: that way, no-one can see my teeth, and figure out that that I'm English.
posted by dash_slot- at 10:20 AM on September 3, 2003


Mind you, where I live, we all are (English, that is...)
posted by dash_slot- at 10:23 AM on September 3, 2003


I never cared if anyone thought I was gay, I was too busy worrying they might think I was English

There's a difference?

In my darker days, I've been known to go off on people for gratuitous use of LOL which I find nauseating, and I don't really think people are laughing out loud, especially the people that use it so many times in a sentence, it sounds like you are reading a Western Union telegram from 50 years ago
LOL. I went to the store today. LOL. They were out of peaches. LOL
Every once in a while though, someone says something that makes me crack up and I usually let them know without the acronym ("that was hilarious, I actually laughed out loud").
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:23 AM on September 3, 2003


I'm drinking water. (not gay)
posted by angry modem at 10:24 AM on September 3, 2003


meech, let me just say this is an EXCELLENT POST, and that I'll bet everyone who was snarking about it up top was just defensive because they'd used the phrase too much themselves. Like RJR I've often thought "yeah, right" when I read that.

And remember, "I just spat coffee all over my computer" is not a figure of speech like "nipple-twisting" or ROFLMAO. It's a statement. Subject, verb, object, prepositional phrase. Just because a statement is cliched doesn't automatically elevate it to figure-of-speech status.

Shane, you do realize that you might be gay, right?
posted by soyjoy at 10:31 AM on September 3, 2003


What we need here is some snazzy AOL Instant Messenger Emoticons. Here, I just made one:



Feel free to use it whenever you really need to show how you spewed coffee all over your monitor.
posted by Stan Chin at 10:55 AM on September 3, 2003


Laugh? I thought I'd die!
posted by timeistight at 10:59 AM on September 3, 2003


LOL! I'm drinking coffee. LOL! (Not gay) LOL! (Or English) LOL!

Shane, you do realize that you might be gay, right?

Yes, well, you and jonson are perfectly welcome to question my masculinity, in which I am secure. (*says in lisping voice*)

Stan: LOL! I laughed quietly out loud at your emoticon.
posted by Shane at 10:59 AM on September 3, 2003


XQU(*D8EJYR: Random my Aunt Fanny.
posted by jennyb at 11:02 AM on September 3, 2003


WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THAT I'M SHOUTING WHEN I TYPE USING ALL CAPS? I'M NOT SHOUTING. I'M SIMPLY TYPING WITH THE CAPS LOCK ON.
posted by crunchland at 11:11 AM on September 3, 2003


I'm straight.

And you have no way of knowing if I am spitting coffee at my computer or not.

*spppptttttffffff*
posted by konolia at 11:14 AM on September 3, 2003


My friend has a saying for straight guys who don't realize that they are, in fact, gay; he would say "that guy's phone is ringing, but he's not answering". Shane, I'm here to tell you as your friend, your phone is ringing, and we can all hear it. Don't let it go to the answering machine any more, pick it up. You'll be happier in the long run. WolfDaddy & amberglow can help show you the ropes.
posted by jonson at 11:32 AM on September 3, 2003


WolfDaddy & amberglow can help show you the ropes

When do the Manscaping classes start? I need to audit that course.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:35 AM on September 3, 2003


I am, in fact, buck naked as I write this post, and possibly slightly aroused.

i have been, in fact, buck naked since the first of june. not aroused, though. never aroused.
posted by quonsar at 11:42 AM on September 3, 2003


Yes, well, you and jonson are perfectly welcome to question my masculinity,

Hey, pal, some of the most masculine people I know are gay. Don't let's mix that up. But I see that I should have revisited jonson's page before trying to quote it, as your entry there has been updated and doesn't contain the phrase "might be gay." But it used to, I swear!

I actually have no opinion on whether your phone's ringing or not.
posted by soyjoy at 11:51 AM on September 3, 2003


So, does anyone remember the Pepsi Syndrome skit from Saturday Night Live? Anyone but me??
posted by tr33hggr at 11:54 AM on September 3, 2003


Don't let it go to the answering machine any more, pick it up.

And then what? Give you my then-useless collection of naked cartoon-babe images? I'm on to you, buddy. Ariel the Mermaid and Jane and that blue-skinned hotty from Buzz Lightyear are staying right where they are in my PC...
posted by Shane at 12:00 PM on September 3, 2003


I already showed Shane the ropes. He's allergic to hemp.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:04 PM on September 3, 2003


Kinda liked the whiplash, though, remember?

posted by dash_slot- at 12:21 PM on September 3, 2003


tr33hggr, you are not alone.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:26 PM on September 3, 2003


Thanks Crash; it was only after a little googling that I remembered the 50 foot Jimmy Carter. Ah, the good old days.
posted by tr33hggr at 12:34 PM on September 3, 2003


*spfffftt*
posted by namespan at 12:35 PM on September 3, 2003


while drinking a gin and tonic (I am not gay)


Wait, G&Ts are gay? No wonder I always get picked up when I go to the Manhandler.

Bartender, change my order! I'd like a Harvey Wallbanger.
posted by me3dia at 12:53 PM on September 3, 2003


What, no Sloe Comfortable Screw Against the Wall?

has anyone actually had one that was comfortable?
posted by widdershins at 1:11 PM on September 3, 2003


No, widdershins, but I've had a couple of comfortable screws abutting the wall.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:20 PM on September 3, 2003


Sloe Comfortable Screw Against the Wall?

Also known as a "knee trembler" or "vertical liason"; sounds neither sloe nor brilliantly comfortable.
posted by Shane at 1:35 PM on September 3, 2003


OMFG!! I LOL SO HARD I SHIT MY PANTS!
posted by quonsar at 1:49 PM on September 3, 2003


That should be "SMP" quonsar.
posted by JanetLand at 2:03 PM on September 3, 2003


:0==
posted by hama7 at 2:10 PM on September 3, 2003


That should be "SMP" quonsar.

No, the problem is, when it's quonsar, he really means it.
posted by soyjoy at 2:36 PM on September 3, 2003


ROTFLMAO!!!11!!!!11
[read over that; felt like making an observation]
posted by eddydamascene at 2:37 PM on September 3, 2003


That should be "SMP" quonsar.

Symmetric Multi Processing will never again seem the same.
posted by namespan at 3:32 PM on September 3, 2003


No, widdershins, but I've had a couple of comfortable screws abutting the wall
Som' bitch that's a knee slapper
posted by mss at 3:56 PM on September 3, 2003


I have never actually spit coffee on my monitor, but have several times had to replace keyboards for users who have no idea how all that sticky mess got in there, so maybe the actual spitting of coffee is so shameful to some that they dare not admit it?
posted by dg at 4:18 PM on September 3, 2003


Thanks jack_mo - that was exactly what I was hoping for. Maybe we can expect detailed spurting stories from now on...one can only dream. And, soyjoy, much appreciation for the reasoned support.
posted by meech at 4:35 PM on September 3, 2003


I'd spit everclear on the monitor over this thread if I had everclear and didn't mind wasting it.
posted by orange swan at 5:09 PM on September 3, 2003


Have enough everclear and it wouldn't matter if you minded or not.
posted by konolia at 5:43 PM on September 3, 2003


Mmm, everclear.

(also, thank you for making me a verb. I am honoured. It's much better than being a mere noun, or even worse, adjective. Verbs rule!)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:54 PM on September 3, 2003


OMFG!! I LOL SO HARD I SHIT MY PANTS!

Oh okay:

A couple weeks ago my friends N. and A. -- two men in their 30s, mind you -- took acid and started working on this art project: a fake bloody pair of panties in a plastic bag to send to their friend in L.A. At some point in the creative process, my friend N. began laughing so hard that he actually crapped his pants, horrifically and brutally, and still couldn't stop laughing.

For some reason every time I think of that I start laughing -- even though I should probably be disgusted.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 5:58 PM on September 3, 2003


quonsar, I would hope you'd be potty trained by now.
posted by konolia at 6:09 PM on September 3, 2003


quonsar's lying. he's not wearing any pants. he's been naked since June. pay attention, people. this is important. at most, he shit his chair.
posted by Fabulon7 at 6:37 PM on September 3, 2003


HAWT NEKKID GLAZED UPHOLSTRY DOUBLE DOUBLE ACTION!!!!
posted by quonsar at 6:47 PM on September 3, 2003


"glazed" upholstry?
posted by JanetLand at 7:22 PM on September 3, 2003


You leave the donuts out I'm gonna glaze 'em </paulyshore>
posted by NortonDC at 8:19 PM on September 3, 2003


RJReynolds, that was so funny it made me spit crap on my keyboard. ROTFL!
posted by Samsonov14 at 9:16 PM on September 3, 2003


glazed upholstery.
posted by madamjujujive at 10:53 PM on September 3, 2003


ROTFCAOMPBWYSIHAIAFRWUA
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:33 PM on September 3, 2003


What about a new movement...something is so funny that it makes you drink a liquid of your choice...a G/T for one of those really Greek statements, a frappahinco is show erudite delight at anothers sly wit, Budwiser for when you fell very not gay.

And for the record, as a celibate male, y'all are sex obsessed except WolfDaddy who at least is getting some.
posted by Dagobert at 1:44 AM on September 4, 2003


Budwiser for when you fell very not gay.

Hmph. I always thought Budweiser was the American redneck repressed-homosexual "I am not gay!" beer of choice. Lousy beer, too. But I get your point.
posted by Shane at 6:20 AM on September 4, 2003


Budwiser for when you fell very not gay.

How does one fall in a "not very gay" way? Is it a bottom-first prat fall?
posted by orange swan at 6:54 AM on September 4, 2003


a frappahinco is show erudite delight at anothers sly wit, Budwiser for when you fell very not gay.

thomcatspike, is that you?
posted by soyjoy at 7:01 AM on September 4, 2003


thomcatspike, is that you?

The Genger Genie says Thomcat is alien. (But it's part of his charm.) clavdivs, too. Where the hell is clav these days, anyway? He's not as ubiquitous as he once was.
posted by Shane at 7:08 AM on September 4, 2003


"My shit is for adults. How do I talk to a kid, really? What's the one thing kids universally run to? That damn [ice cream] truck...A lot of people may be like, 'Yo, you're challenging your image.' Nah, real niggas know what's real." - Ice T

Wow. Something tells me that Ben and Jerry are going to have some kind of "drive by" related accident.

"This one's for my homies." *pours chocolate sauce on the ground*
posted by ColdChef at 1:07 PM PST on December 27


I spat coffee on my iBook.
posted by planetkyoto at 7:56 AM on September 4, 2003


See a sampling of the coffee-spewing posters for yourselves by clicking on this Google Search.

It made my head explode.
posted by FreezBoy at 11:24 AM on September 4, 2003


Did you? Did you really?

i can honestly say i've spit my diet coke out whilst viewing something on my monitor. we have dong_resin to thank for that; sending me shocking things via email, heh.
posted by t r a c y at 2:01 PM on September 5, 2003


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