What is your job?

March 12, 2005 11:11 PM

So, what is your job? Are you a baker, candle stick maker or a whatnot?
posted by limitedpie to MetaFilter-Related at 11:11 PM (195 comments total)

Full time marketer, part time cataloguer of others faults.
posted by jonson at 11:29 PM on March 12, 2005

Student!! woot. (Trinity College, Hartford Ct)
posted by null terminated at 11:35 PM on March 12, 2005

Undergraduate student. New Paltz, NY. Currently going for B.A. in English, then a Masters. Looking to teach and be a writer. Used to do wholesale sales, a million other jobs.
posted by exlotuseater at 11:37 PM on March 12, 2005

I make soap. Really. It's what I do. Well, and talk too much...and share my opinions with people who probably wish I wouldn't...but mostly, I make soap. Organic soap, no less. From scratch. Other bath products too...but mostly essential oil, aromatherapy soaps. Because it's fun. And it smells good. Even if it does mean I periodically get visits from people with guns, who would like to know why I'm buying sodium hydroxide in 50 pound bags. ;)

I also write...but I do it discreetly, and I always wash my hands afters...ya know, cause I've got 300 pounds of soap lying around the house. (Lye-ing...get it? Never mind, I'll get me coat...)
posted by dejah420 at 11:41 PM on March 12, 2005

Philosophy grad student. There are a bunch of us here, I think.
posted by painquale at 11:54 PM on March 12, 2005

Another student. Second undergrad degree (first in English, minor creative writing, current one in computer science).
I've done web stuff in the past.
posted by juv3nal at 11:55 PM on March 12, 2005

I'm a vagrant. With a camera. Just like my profile has always said.
posted by DaShiv at 12:06 AM on March 13, 2005

Hey - forgot about that occupations page, thanks DaShiv! Turns out I'm a marketer there as well. Try some delicious Pepsi Blue, people, it's not as bad as you might have heard! The urine only turns blue for a couple of days, then right back to whatever your normal urine color may be.
posted by jonson at 12:21 AM on March 13, 2005

Full-time parent, hopefully soon to be self-employed making wooden toys, as well as possibly studying early childhood education. (Pipe dreams, ahh.)

I don't know how reliable that occupations field is, jonson. For entertainment purposes, it's awesome.
posted by tracicle at 12:24 AM on March 13, 2005

i'll agree that a lot of people get "cute" with the occupation info on their user page. I'm a nurse, and a damned good one, too.
posted by reflecked at 12:28 AM on March 13, 2005

Full time student, lab rat in a biochemistry lab, and a student supervisor at night. All of that is slated to end around July 31 when I leave Athens...anyone have a research position open that doesn't have ANYTHING to do with food =)
posted by jmd82 at 12:30 AM on March 13, 2005

Tech support. Zzzzzzzz.........
posted by kenchie at 12:40 AM on March 13, 2005

You know all those labels and text panels at art exhibitions that most people don't read? Well, I edit and proofread those -- plus the exhibition catalogues as well. (Most people don't read those, either.)
posted by scody at 12:54 AM on March 13, 2005

Lighting designer.
posted by nthdegx at 1:47 AM on March 13, 2005

awww, poor scody. You know those horrid dubbed Loreal commercials and posters for beers all over town? My fault.
posted by dabitch at 1:51 AM on March 13, 2005

I have both made candlesticks and baked in my time, but I'm best known for my whatnot.
Actually, I'm not a real candlestick maker, but I play one on TV.
posted by obloquy at 1:59 AM on March 13, 2005

I work fulltime on the Eclipse project as a software developer/curry fetcher.
posted by pookzilla at 2:18 AM on March 13, 2005

Oh, in a weird way, I don't mind that no one almost no one reads the text panels and catalogues... there's something strangely pleasant about editing for a self-selected audience, knowing that most people will walk on by.
posted by scody at 2:20 AM on March 13, 2005

Bilingual tech support and Japanese translator.
posted by Bugbread at 2:27 AM on March 13, 2005

Unemployed.
posted by keijo at 2:39 AM on March 13, 2005

PhD Student - grasslands ecology. Thanks for asking.

Glad us folks who don't do "webby stuff" are finally getting some props. There's actually a diverse group of people here.
posted by Jimbob at 3:21 AM on March 13, 2005

Product Manager for a certain satellite mobile phone company, that isn't the one you are thinking of ...
posted by Dag Maggot at 3:26 AM on March 13, 2005

I used to be a writer/editor for city publications. I've also been a production manager and a creative director. Now I sometimes teach English, sometimes make web sites... But that last been has pretty depressing lately, since at the beginning of every project I describe how I don't do Flash sites, and if that's what they want they need to get somebody else... and after agreeing completely that Flash isn't what they want at all, then seeing the proposed layout, the client describes all the bouncy animation and sound features they want for their site navigation.

So, underemployed. Way. /sob
posted by taz at 3:29 AM on March 13, 2005

Former buyer of canned fruits and vegetables and MREs for the U.S. Military. Now software trainer in the same agency. Bicycle rider.
posted by fixedgear at 4:29 AM on March 13, 2005

I'm from the Government and I'm here to help you. (yes, really)
posted by dg at 4:32 AM on March 13, 2005

I work in an Apple Centre, selling iPods and Powerbooks all day.

I would like someone to offer me a creative position in London.
posted by armoured-ant at 4:53 AM on March 13, 2005

I do business banking and home lending (e-mail me for LOW LOW RATES@$!!). It is painful. I'm also completing my B.A. in psychology. It is less painful, and will eventually let me get back to my dream of writing full-time.
posted by Eideteker at 4:55 AM on March 13, 2005

I am using my anthropology and film degrees to markup legal regulations for one of those big huge companies that puts legal regulations on the internets. I live in a cubicle and a potty-trained monkey could do my job and probably get paid more for it. I hope to teach High School social studies [to potty-trained monkeys] one of these days and then spend my summers working on independent films.
posted by sciurus at 5:00 AM on March 13, 2005

Software developer. I'm only in it for the glamour. Ten years behind the bell.
posted by veedubya at 5:14 AM on March 13, 2005

The IRS calls me a homemaker. Graduated as a social worker, but have never worked as such.
posted by tonelesscereal at 5:38 AM on March 13, 2005

What? The IRS is reading this? Shit. Um, "I have no income, whatsoever!"

Just kidding. I manage the Practice Development arm of a consulting start up.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 5:45 AM on March 13, 2005

You know about this, right?

http://www.metafilter.com/occupations.mefi
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:52 AM on March 13, 2005

Urban farmer: Portable sawmill, landscape, plow snow, make waterfalls. (I'm the office drone sometimes, just made my first website. The Mefi taught me.)
posted by JohnR at 5:59 AM on March 13, 2005

I write crazy stories and feast off the tit of Capitalism (author, investor).
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:04 AM on March 13, 2005

I'm a superhero but since that doesn't pay the bills, I work as a web developer.
posted by Stynxno at 6:07 AM on March 13, 2005

Full-time stay-at-home spawn-raising. And I get pretty irritable that whenever some drop-down box online asks me what my occupation is, that it is never an option to be a "homemaker" or what have you, no, just "unemployed". I'm not unemployed. It's hard work to train the 19-month-old to bring me bonbons and cool drinks while I lounge poolside all day gestating our next sprog. After all, I need another one to operate the palm-leaf fan.
posted by Melinika at 6:41 AM on March 13, 2005

I perform certain tasks and am remunerated for them on a bi-weekly basis.
posted by Captaintripps at 6:54 AM on March 13, 2005

scody, I read all those catalogues, and I appreciate that they are typo-free. I'm a soon-to-be-out-of-a-"real"-job librarian, but I'll be on librarian-tour this Summer.
posted by jessamyn at 7:00 AM on March 13, 2005

I'm the leader singer for Blur.
posted by mcsweetie at 7:22 AM on March 13, 2005

Comparative literature student by night doing a B.A. on e. e. cummings*, work for Reykjavík Parking Authority by day. Until this summer at which point I'll probably be a slob hanging around NYC waiting for my green card to come through.


*yes, I know about the capitalization debate, I just like it this way :)

[on preview: lol, mcsweetie]
posted by Kattullus at 7:30 AM on March 13, 2005

I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

Actually, I'm a data entry clerk at a music database company.
posted by jonmc at 7:30 AM on March 13, 2005

Did the working holiday waitress thing for a while before becoming a Customer Complaints Officer for a large Department Store. That was fun on Christmas eve when every parent was panicking that their kid's bike wouldn't arrive on time! Then worked for the Red Cross Blood Transfusion Service, which was somewhat surprising considering I hate needles. Decided that I wasn't cut out for early mornings so worked as a Dance Instructor and now run my own Studio.
posted by Tarrama at 7:33 AM on March 13, 2005

I do fuckall.

I'm a semi-legal immigrant with a B.A. in art sitting around Reykjavík. I'm currently waiting on two non-paying jobs in which I will put my B.A. to good use doing grunt work at museums. This summer, I hope to return to the US and possibly get a job that involves both art and getting paid. And health insurance. have accepted the possibility that this combination of factors probably does not exist and I may just end up working at Borders or the like and leeching off of corporate benefits for the rest of my life. And I'm fine with that.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:37 AM on March 13, 2005

I used to be a baker, and I do make candles. For the most part I'm a student and a support worker for people with disabilities.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:43 AM on March 13, 2005

I'm a legal assistant. I hope shortly to work in the systems department of a large company, or be a law student or philosophy grad student.

Mathowie, I think the difference between this thread and the occupations page is that if people aren't being truthful here, they're at least being believable.
posted by kenko at 7:46 AM on March 13, 2005

I'm a software developer, recently unemployed intentionally.
posted by furtive at 7:50 AM on March 13, 2005

I read the labels, scody! And thanks for that link, mathowie--I didn't know about it.

I am ten weeks away from graduating Georgetown Law School. Yippee! After studying for the bar and watching da Man Burn, I'm off to teach businesspeople how to communicate more effectively.
posted by equipoise at 7:56 AM on March 13, 2005

P.S. -- I love scanning that employment list. idest may win with "Insultant"--reminds me of my friend, who calls himself an "Inactivist."
posted by equipoise at 7:58 AM on March 13, 2005

Currently on a disability pension (heart disease), I am trying to find a new career that allows me flexible work hours (nap time) and does not require immersion in electromagnetic fields (implanted cardiac defibrillator). Not easy for someone whose entire career revolved around radiochemistry and systems engineering.

I am considering getting a doctorate (specializing in natural language understanding), but for now, I am happy to just pick up and travel to wherever I want whenever I want.
posted by mischief at 8:04 AM on March 13, 2005

I do hotel and restaurant openings and closings for a chain of them.

Until about two years ago, I was happily using AOL, IE, and Windows ME to check my e-mail and play spider solitaire (thanks yodelingisfun for pointing out to me that I was a hopeless loser! smoochies). Now I have no idea what I use but am, I assume, slightly more acceptable.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies at 8:12 AM on March 13, 2005

I study product design and I intern at a chandelier factory.

I've been a career counselor, ESL/EFL teacher, and archeology field technician, among other things.
posted by hydrophonic at 8:26 AM on March 13, 2005

I do general archives work for the local historical society and work on digitization projects and general data wrangling for the local university library. Like most of the jobs I've had it's fun and interesting but doesn't pay shit, so I am constantly looking for soul-sucking but more remunerative employment as a cog in the machine.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 8:42 AM on March 13, 2005

I actually do do web junk. Sorry to be such a cliche!
posted by scarabic at 8:50 AM on March 13, 2005

I'm an evil, heartless corporate litigator. No, really.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 8:54 AM on March 13, 2005

I restore celebrities' hot rods.
posted by mcsweetie at 9:07 AM on March 13, 2005

I restore celebrities' hot rods.

The work you did for Jeff Stryker was especially impressive.
posted by jonmc at 9:09 AM on March 13, 2005

Unemployed. Used to be a cartographer at a software company.
posted by Arch Stanton at 9:19 AM on March 13, 2005

I am a baker. And a copy editor.
posted by smich at 9:37 AM on March 13, 2005

I'm a market research goon, though I have made Challah from scratch with the missus.
posted by cortex at 9:43 AM on March 13, 2005

i am a glowing, humming, hovering ball of light.
posted by quonsar at 9:49 AM on March 13, 2005

I can't hear the humming. Is he humming? Can anybody hear the humming?
posted by cortex at 9:55 AM on March 13, 2005

I can hear the humming...but that may be because Quonsar and I share that special love between a crazy woman and a hovering ball of light...
posted by dejah420 at 10:02 AM on March 13, 2005

I sing like no one is listening and edit like no one is reading, and for good reason.
posted by melissa may at 10:09 AM on March 13, 2005

Truth be told, I was a baker of sorts for about 4 years on and off, I worked in the central factory of a well-known national baked goods company, and then I worked in the in-store bakery of a supermarket that also contained a petting zoo and animatronic milk cartons that played bluegrass songs.

The sight of industrial sized bricks of yeast still makes me twitch a little.
posted by jonmc at 10:14 AM on March 13, 2005

I restore celebrities' hot rods.

Any links to pictures, stories, etc?
posted by fixedgear at 10:18 AM on March 13, 2005

I am doing research for a University and the government (climate) but the government does not believe me.... Still they pay, so it is OK... maybe...
posted by carmina at 10:23 AM on March 13, 2005

foster care social worker, light/sound guy, author, cartoon voiceovers. i don't sleep.
posted by moonbird at 10:32 AM on March 13, 2005

I make software to create lottery tickets.
if (loser) {
max_symbol_usage = 2;
GAME_AREA = get_symbols(max_symbol_usuage, SYMBOLS);
}
posted by sleslie at 10:40 AM on March 13, 2005

I drive to gas stations and buy alcohol underage. Until I turned 18 I did cigarettes. It's for a compliance company called C-Chex, and it's a nice job, as checkers are payed for the 6-hour car ride as well as the actual checking. Unfortunately I'll be laid off on April 12.
posted by NickDouglas at 10:47 AM on March 13, 2005

I build canoe trails in a big swamp.
posted by atchafalaya at 10:52 AM on March 13, 2005

Fixedgear, finally I can blame someone for all those traumatic meals.
posted by atchafalaya at 10:54 AM on March 13, 2005

I build cyborgs in my basement and send them to california to work in the porn industry. Once they are two years old and therefore too old to interest the raincoaters, they are sent back to me and I disassemble them and use the spare parts on the next generation of porn starlets.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 11:18 AM on March 13, 2005

Currently: unemployed or fighting personal demons, whichever you prefer.

Previously: clerical flunky, help desk flunky, mail room flunky, commercial loan flunky, mortgage loan flunky.

*weeps*
posted by deborah at 11:20 AM on March 13, 2005

sound designer
posted by noius at 12:54 PM on March 13, 2005

Finishing up my undergrad degree in psych and applying to master's programs in art therapy (I've got interviews at Pratt & SVA coming up!). Previously I've worked as an assistant photographer, scanner operator, production manager (digital archiving/resoration), web designer, creative director, and assistant special ed. teacher. I also enjoy walks on the beach, candle light dinners and puppies.
posted by spaghetti at 1:00 PM on March 13, 2005

I own and operate a recording studio and an internet cafe/sandwich shop.
posted by Duncan at 1:01 PM on March 13, 2005

I love internet sandwiches.
posted by spaghetti at 1:02 PM on March 13, 2005

I love internet sandwiches.

Me too. Just hold the spam.
posted by jonmc at 1:04 PM on March 13, 2005

Biochem grad student.
That is for four more weeks. Then I fail my prelim...
posted by c13 at 1:06 PM on March 13, 2005

Actually, a menu of sandwiches based on websites would be kind of cool. The Fark would be potted meat food product and velveeta on Wonder bread with Miracle Whip, The StileProject would be tripe and kidneys on a roofing shingle with a side of carpet tacks. I'm not sure what the mefi-wich would be...
posted by jonmc at 1:10 PM on March 13, 2005

Jonmc: Whatever it was, it would be served on a three-segmented plate.
posted by NickDouglas at 1:22 PM on March 13, 2005

The Mefi sandwich would be a muffaletta from New Orleans, definitely
posted by amberglow at 1:33 PM on March 13, 2005

made of pony-meat, of course. But I hate olives, so muffaletta is out of the running.
posted by jonmc at 1:34 PM on March 13, 2005

I currently balance three jobs. I work as a bookseller for a major chain, and curse people who comment on things being cheaper online. For a school district educational access channel I film events, teach kids how to edit videos and am the person running all the video stuff for school board meetings. Finally I pay my rent by freelance writing about Milwaukee for a very big internet company. In my free time, I sleep.
posted by drezdn at 1:53 PM on March 13, 2005

jonmc: I actually have masturbated animals for artificial insemination purposes, and helped with the insemination, in my former career, you could say.
Now I teach archaeology at a medium sized Canadian university.
posted by Rumple at 1:54 PM on March 13, 2005

In addition to what I listed on the occupation page, I have a reputation as a pretty good baker - you should try my heart-healthy blueberry coffee cake sometime! I made a lot of candles in the 1970's ;) .
posted by Lynsey at 1:59 PM on March 13, 2005

Freelance IT conslutant, currently working for large investment banks in London *yawn*
posted by hardcode at 2:12 PM on March 13, 2005

Like many other MeFites, I work in publishing. I get to copyedit, talk to printers, and boss people around.
posted by dame at 2:18 PM on March 13, 2005

I'm a summer camp counselor in northern Wisconsin.
In the off-season I go to college.
posted by PhatLobley at 2:26 PM on March 13, 2005

I'm a strategic communications consultant, bwaahaahaa. I write speeches, business plans, collateral and 'develop content' for CEOs and that ilk. I work for free for a poetry press, helping them with their marcomm and fundraising, when I have time.
posted by thinkpiece at 2:31 PM on March 13, 2005

Student at UC Santa Cruz in Literature, demonstratedly unsure of future life plans. Office goon and IT helpdesk for the bills.
posted by rfordh at 2:41 PM on March 13, 2005

I am a newspaper copy editor, formerly the copy chief, and teach media writing at a university.
posted by key_of_z at 2:45 PM on March 13, 2005

Metafilter: I actually have masturbated animals for artificial insemination purposes
posted by amberglow at 2:48 PM on March 13, 2005

Computer Science undergraduate. Punter.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:18 PM on March 13, 2005

on preview: I'm sure they climaxed in seconds you gorgeous man.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:19 PM on March 13, 2005

I believe the technical term for that is "sexytime explosion engineer"
posted by scarabic at 3:38 PM on March 13, 2005

Trained as an artist but the idea of having to lop off an ear to be famous put a kink into my master plan of being a wealthy, eccentric artist. Previous incarnations included, loud mouth shit disturber (was an advocate in the mental health field changing law and policy in hospitals and at the provincial level) Now I battle Lucus the Prince of Darkness*.

*I restore British motorcycles
posted by squeak at 3:39 PM on March 13, 2005

*lucas
posted by squeak at 3:42 PM on March 13, 2005

journalist.

I'm the one who sneaks out all the good posts and quotes to the rest of the journalists out there, then join in the indignation here.
posted by bonaldi at 3:47 PM on March 13, 2005

Damn you bonaldi!
posted by kenko at 3:47 PM on March 13, 2005

- philosophy professor
- musician
- licensed (non-practicing) attorney
posted by joe lisboa at 3:52 PM on March 13, 2005

I masturbate. Daily.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 3:57 PM on March 13, 2005

Oyster card 'guru'/Customer services/internal trainer/co-ordinating zillions of temps/general flacky for the tube

Ex graphic designer still doing a bit on the side (mostly greetings cards)

Live with a candle maker but not the candlestick maker.
posted by floanna at 3:57 PM on March 13, 2005

oops a .com slipped in the link. Try the tube
posted by floanna at 4:00 PM on March 13, 2005

I am a torch singer ... I am working to eradicate world hunger ... I am a trapeze artist in cirque du soleil ... I am a madam running a french bordello ... I am a pulitzer-prize winning photojournalist ... *sigh*... I am self-employed in the pepsi blue field.
posted by madamjujujive at 4:03 PM on March 13, 2005

Software engineer for web stuff. Former grad student in Library Science, former grad student in Philosophy, former secretary, former freelance writer.
posted by matildaben at 4:16 PM on March 13, 2005

*sigh*

way to shatter my dreams, juju. I always figured you for a profession International Woman Of Mystery.
posted by jonmc at 4:18 PM on March 13, 2005

Proo-
freader.
posted by interrobang at 4:21 PM on March 13, 2005

nit-
picker.
posted by jonmc at 4:29 PM on March 13, 2005

I'm a program manager and trainer at an STD education program for medical providers at a university.
posted by tristeza at 4:29 PM on March 13, 2005

Perl hacker.
posted by nicwolff at 4:31 PM on March 13, 2005

my parents invented salt.
posted by mcsweetie at 4:41 PM on March 13, 2005

mcsweetie Lot?
posted by amberglow at 4:50 PM on March 13, 2005

Isnt anthropology something to do with having sex with animals ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:15 PM on March 13, 2005

Interrobang, that is evil. I keep staring at it, and it is so dirty and wrong. I know you did it on purpose, and yet I am hypnotized by my inability to fix it. Damn you!
posted by dame at 5:36 PM on March 13, 2005

I'm a graduate student in quantitative psychology, and a statistics monkey for the studies reported here.
posted by naturesgreatestmiracle at 5:37 PM on March 13, 2005

I am in librarian college by day (-ish, if you know the details of my program). By night I play steel guitar and most anything else with strings. There is a strong possibility that playing music will offer me greater financial security than my MLIS.
posted by stet at 5:41 PM on March 13, 2005

Ah, jonmc, sorry to disappoint with the pedestrianism, but that's where drugs come in ;-)
posted by madamjujujive at 5:42 PM on March 13, 2005

Oh well then.

*slugs lager, puffs smoke, chews skittles, sings along to the Delfonics*
posted by jonmc at 5:45 PM on March 13, 2005

Graduate student: Sociology. I the guy doing his thesis on Metafilter.

I also work in Rehabilitation, as an RA (doing stats and content analysis), and in the summers as a banker.
posted by Quartermass at 6:35 PM on March 13, 2005

I am the guy...
posted by Quartermass at 6:36 PM on March 13, 2005

stet, do you know my steel guitar playing pal Kevin Suggs? If so, say hi for me.
posted by jessamyn at 6:46 PM on March 13, 2005

Pediatric hematology/oncology fellow, and web wrangler on the side.
posted by delfuego at 6:50 PM on March 13, 2005

Soon-to-be unemployed lawyer. Hire me, or I'll sue you.
posted by yhbc at 7:04 PM on March 13, 2005

web dork. no, really. I'm an arachnologist.
posted by dhruva at 7:13 PM on March 13, 2005

*hires yhbc, watches him calculate the commuting times, plans to sue for breach of contract*
posted by dg at 7:16 PM on March 13, 2005

tech-writer (10yrs + now would rather be doing just about ANYTHING else) & jonmc co-worker
posted by lilboo at 7:43 PM on March 13, 2005

By day I work for a grassroots political non-profit, doing useful things like stopping evil people from dumping mercury into rivers and registering people to vote.

By night I work in a call-center for an enormous and nationally respected catalog retailer. I worked for said retailer as a Corporate Training Developer for fourteen years before they downsized me, and yet I'm back. This is the job that actually pays the bills.

Also, I occasionally give presentations where I teach librarians how to provide better customer service. I have good reviews -- all you Mefi librarians should hire me to do this for you. It'll change your life. Honest.

Also, my degree is in Medieval and Renaissance drama, so my profile really isn't lying. I have made hand-dipped tallow candles.
posted by anastasiav at 8:00 PM on March 13, 2005

Lab technician for a mouse mutagenesis project. Is it just me, or are science-types in the minority here?
posted by greatgefilte at 8:24 PM on March 13, 2005

Junior Assistant Underwriter. Part Time Kennel cleaner. Mostly retired Actor/Director. Would be writer.
posted by rainbaby at 8:32 PM on March 13, 2005

Business process analyst by day, extra-terrestrial by night!
posted by ramix at 8:54 PM on March 13, 2005

I am an undergraduate student.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 9:36 PM on March 13, 2005

freelance illustrator for editorial magazines.
posted by Hands of Manos at 9:49 PM on March 13, 2005

jessamyn, I've played three or four shows with Suggs. He's a great player and all-around good egg. Next time I see him, I'll pass on the greeting.
posted by stet at 10:15 PM on March 13, 2005

jonmc co-worker

Lucky bastard.
posted by NickDouglas at 10:32 PM on March 13, 2005

I'm in jail for throwing a grape at the president.
posted by mcsweetie at 10:38 PM on March 13, 2005

Philosophy grad-student, now, gratefully, soon-to-be professor.
posted by ontic at 10:43 PM on March 13, 2005

Software Tester for a multi-media software application.
posted by spinifex23 at 10:53 PM on March 13, 2005

Longtime screenwriter, trying to break into fiction.
posted by headspace at 11:04 PM on March 13, 2005

FT sys admin, PT grad student, freelance electronic music journalist.
posted by AlexReynolds at 12:09 AM on March 14, 2005

I am the guy...

There there. Of course you are.
posted by mono blanco at 12:16 AM on March 14, 2005

web designer / photographer / gourmet chef.
posted by crunchland at 1:09 AM on March 14, 2005

I'm developing a machine that will permit hourly masturbation and put Mean Mr. Bucket out of a job.
posted by biffa at 1:38 AM on March 14, 2005

Just another web designer, comic book maker, and musician.
posted by safetyfork at 4:30 AM on March 14, 2005

I'm in jail for throwing a grape at the president.

fool!

*waves bag of Rold Gold®*
posted by quonsar at 5:11 AM on March 14, 2005

I'm an undertaker.

No, really.
posted by ColdChef at 5:12 AM on March 14, 2005

That makes your name all the more eerie, ColdChef.
posted by spaghetti at 5:46 AM on March 14, 2005

...doing useful things like stopping evil people from dumping mercury into rivers and registering people to vote.

I picture men in dark masks, of ominous stature, holding buckets of mercury and standing on the streetcorner asking passersby if they take an interest in politics.
posted by spaghetti at 5:51 AM on March 14, 2005

Vocation: I direct the education & interpretation department at an outdoor history museum in an urban setting. I consult on exhibitions, do research, write lables, create programs, and play with ideas. Training is in American literature, education, history, and folklore.

Avocations: Musician (old-time/deep traditional/sea music/roots-Americana) and writer. Also I'm in training for my first triathlon.
posted by Miko at 6:35 AM on March 14, 2005

I picture men in dark masks, of ominous stature, holding buckets of mercury and standing on the streetcorner asking passersby if they take an interest in politics.

Aw man. spaghetti, you made me laugh so hard a sunflower seed came out my nose. Thanks a lot. (Now I'm going to picture those men at our next staff meeting.)
posted by anastasiav at 6:43 AM on March 14, 2005

Company Director. Which covers a fuckin' multitude of lesser jobs from author to Studio Manager. Working on becoming a charity trustee to help small children with big eyes. (True.)
posted by i_cola at 6:57 AM on March 14, 2005

I work in a cancer treatment and research pharmacy slinging chemo and memorizing investigational drug protocol.
posted by makonan at 7:01 AM on March 14, 2005

I do something unutterably tedious involving computers and business systems. My spirit ails and my soul withers, but in my mind the small white bird of hope flies unfettered. Well, to be honest it's got a dicky wing and an ugly great bald spot on its breast where it's been anxiously pulling out its feathers, but you know nothing's ever perfect.
posted by Decani at 7:05 AM on March 14, 2005

Way to go, ontic.
posted by kenko at 7:25 AM on March 14, 2005

Speaking of unutterably tedious, I'm a goddamn copy editor. I rigidly enforce arbitrary rules that no one cares about. I also spend a lot of time dithering about whether to become a librarian.
posted by scratch at 7:31 AM on March 14, 2005

Right now I work midnight to 8am at the Texas control room of the National Crime Information Center, the big database run by the FBI that holds information on wanted people, missing people, and stolen vehicles, guns, and other stuff. I get to be a database Nazi and send nastygrams when people don't enter stuff correctly.

Former jobs include: organic farm & McDonald's (at the same time), nursing home (ask me about end-stage Alzheimer's!), dog kennel, tech support, technical editing, fixing tax returns at the IRS, assorted temp flunky stuff (the highlight of which was getting to play laser tag on the clock at one assignment).

For a little self-employment stuff, I want to start doing video editing & making personal biography videos for people (and transferring their super8 and slides to dvds), and maybe making pop-up paper cards.

In a year or two I wanna go to the local community college's X-ray tech program.
posted by beth at 7:36 AM on March 14, 2005

I kiss the girls and make them cry and edit books and take out the garbage and stuff. Shit.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:39 AM on March 14, 2005

cubicle drone. father of four.
posted by grateful at 8:28 AM on March 14, 2005

I make a cartoon for cartoon network.
posted by clunkyrobot at 8:32 AM on March 14, 2005

I'm one of the many copyeditors/proofreaders that seem to lurk here, waiting to pounce on someone for a badly written post.

I also run the projector at a theater that shows old movies to (mostly) old people, and do unpaid work for a film studio that makes documentaries.
posted by goatdog at 8:39 AM on March 14, 2005

I listen to taxi driver confessions and then make decisions what to do about them. I've not had a dull work day in 15 years.
posted by oh posey at 8:48 AM on March 14, 2005

Being an analyst/programmer and interface designer for an ethnomusicology digital video archive project pays the bills. DJ'ing an overnight show on a local radio station keeps me sane enough to do the former. Coming late to threads and adding to them anyway is an avocation.

On Preview: now also wants to do an on-air interview with oh posey
posted by Fezboy! at 9:11 AM on March 14, 2005

Working on becoming a charity trustee to help small children with big eyes. (True.)
Hey! I am a small child with big eyes. "Please sir, can i have some money and stuff?" *blinks pleadingly*

I'm a production manager/magazines--have done a million other things tho too, and make art and stuff also.

you go, clunkyrobot--i love Sealab!

we really are an interesting bunch, no?
posted by amberglow at 9:13 AM on March 14, 2005

Egad, it's the Sealab guy. Praise be.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:25 AM on March 14, 2005

Character designer
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:28 AM on March 14, 2005

Graduate student in social & personality psychology, with more emphasis on the personality part more than social part.
posted by stoneegg21 at 9:45 AM on March 14, 2005

Fire fighter and undergraduate student.
posted by tcp at 9:53 AM on March 14, 2005

I'm a Media Specialist - Flash, digital video, layout & design, Illustrator - by day, and a resident manager by night.
posted by rocketman at 9:55 AM on March 14, 2005

I design user interfaces for video games. It's the least glamorous part of the game development process. I also have a lot of moral/ethical concerns about what I do for a living. I'm not really proud that I worked on Mortal Kombat, for example. In an attempt to turn my karma around I'm studying to be a librarian. (P.S. Jessamyn, why "soon-to-be-out-of-a-"real"-job librarian"?)
posted by 40 Watt at 9:57 AM on March 14, 2005

I am working as a substitute teacher while I finish my high school math certification.
As a former NCO and Army linguist (Spanish) I enjoyed working with young people; and I look forward to doing so again as an teacher.
posted by buzzman at 10:59 AM on March 14, 2005

wow, thanks amberglow and generic. I wouldn't call myself THE Sealab guy, although I am A Sealab guy. I'm not sure where that character designer title came from, and if you're one of the 12 people who've seen our cartoon, there's not much going on in the way of character desinging. But I'll take it.
posted by clunkyrobot at 11:14 AM on March 14, 2005

Supervisor at nonprofit cancer research facility. I so totally supervise that cancer. Hey you! Stop metastasizing!
posted by Skot at 12:41 PM on March 14, 2005

Wow, we're a diverse and interesting bunch. :) Go team!
posted by dejah420 at 12:46 PM on March 14, 2005

I hate it when I end up driving behind a loaded school bus, and inevitably the kids sitting in the back seat have to try to mess with me. it makes me wish I had a paintball gun, or a gross physical deformity I could expose and gross'm the hell out!
posted by mcsweetie at 12:58 PM on March 14, 2005

I write deveolper documentation for a software company, which among its many products has an Eclipse plug-in for developing services that run on its platform. So, shout-out to pookzilla!
posted by kindall at 1:10 PM on March 14, 2005

Sysadmin at an airborne remote sensing company. Yes, it is hella fun.
posted by everichon at 1:17 PM on March 14, 2005

clunkyrobot: are you one of the guys in the commercial?

o/~ love attacks from the rear.... the rear!
posted by lnicole at 1:22 PM on March 14, 2005

...you're one of the 12 people who've seen our cartoon, there's not much going on in the way of character desinging. But I'll take it.
You're too modest--i've heard that even Nielsen ratings are now being calculated separately for that block of shows--because they're so popular. (I'm so old tho i even remember the original show). Someone had to do the English lawyers, and the new Captain, and that freaky mutated Heshy, and the gay guy in the towel, and all the Grizzlebee's stuff, etc, no?
posted by amberglow at 1:40 PM on March 14, 2005

Clunkyrobot: I don't even have a TV and I've heard of your show...
posted by spaghetti at 1:52 PM on March 14, 2005

Psychologist here. Clinical, research, and program evaluation work.
posted by jasper411 at 2:46 PM on March 14, 2005

Disabiltity Adjudicator for Social Security - hopefully attending law school in the fall
posted by miss meg at 3:02 PM on March 14, 2005

I teach English and business stuff to managers and engineers at one of Korea's big-ass multinationals.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:26 PM on March 14, 2005

I used to have almost the exact same job as scody but I decided to throw away my career in non profit art museum stuff as non profitable and now I am sort of a marketer/organizer/manager/gofer for a vegetarian restaurant/celtic pub/microbrewery. Which is, thanks everyone, getting better day by day.
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:49 PM on March 14, 2005

Clunky.. you are internationally famous.. admit it. (hi pal, mick here.) oh yeah..and the 'toons, too. I was thinking of you as the inventor of the duct-tape wallet. ;-D
posted by reflecked at 4:57 PM on March 14, 2005

My profile says that I'm a researcher, but that's a lie. I used to do that but now I'm back at a regular company. I do technology work.
posted by mexican at 8:25 PM on March 14, 2005

And clunkyrobot, don't underestimate the amount of people pirating it online.

Oh, wait, that's a bad thing.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 12:27 AM on March 15, 2005

I work for a company that run art events and workshops for young people.

Its my job to get sponsorship or funding from companies, councils, arts bodies or brands. Its much more difficult than I thought it would be, but it sure beats telesales.

Stav: Your not teaching the LG "incentive course" are you?
posted by davehat at 2:48 AM on March 15, 2005

Nuh-uh. I know some guys who teach English at LG. They are not complimentary about the place.

Oh the stories I could tell, if Google didn't insist on bringing back my site as the top hit for my real name, and I wasn't overly attached to regular (if small) paychecks...
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:47 AM on March 15, 2005

Hey mick!

Amber: heh, yeah I drew those guys. I'm not that modest, it's just hard to be boastful of drawings that are done with the intention of looking like old, bad, Hanna Barbara animation. I've seen some frightening original cell paintings from Sealab 2020.

Pretty_G: We actually don't get any royalties from the DVD sales, it all goes into CN's pockets. So we don't mind seeing the shows online all that much. At least people are watching it.

thanks for the support guys.
posted by clunkyrobot at 6:39 AM on March 15, 2005

I am a finance clerk in municipal government. The Tax (wo)Man. Everybody loves me.
posted by raedyn at 7:55 AM on March 15, 2005

I'm a house man. Best job I ever had. Once upon a time I had a career in software and consulting, then I retired to the hospitality/tourism industry, then I got bored. Found I no longer cared for the old career, and after working a bit as an accounting clerk, got an MBA and married him. Smart move.
posted by Goofyy at 8:58 AM on March 15, 2005

*pictures Goofyy lying in bed all day, eating bonbons and watching soaps*
posted by amberglow at 10:19 AM on March 15, 2005

I'm a translator (FR-FR>EN-GB) and proofreader, working on mainly economics and medical stuff (but I'll take most things that I consider to be within my competence). Though in fact, as I am self-employed and a company of one, I am also Company Director, Finance Manager (since I can't afford an accountant), Personnel Manager, (non-outsourced) Cleaner, etc etc etc.

Former undergrad and grad student, medical administrator, retail monkey. Currently and always a classical musician (but that only comprises about 0.5% of my income).
posted by altolinguistic at 10:20 AM on March 15, 2005

I'm an IA in a Mac lab. I help Publishing, Photography, and Fine Arts students with software, and keep the lab in working order. I use to think I had a future here until I read this.
posted by btwillig at 10:41 AM on March 15, 2005

Another software engineer doing web/database stuff. Used to call myself a "web developer" until an AskMe thread taught me that that meant a lot of things that weren't software development to a lot of people.
posted by Zed_Lopez at 11:43 AM on March 15, 2005